Tales From An Airport Bar
Tales From An Airport Bar
Ep 13: Take Off Your Pants And Jacket Featuring Lindsey
Hey guys, below are the links to the podcast that we did a crossover episode with. It's called the Otter House Podcast. Feel free to give them a listen and go support those guys!
Apple Podcasts:
Spotify:
https://open.spotify.com/show/2gHKuB3w5M3Go62GAF6cRe
Welcome to an unforgettable journey into the world of airport bartending! Join us as we chat with Lindsey, a seasoned bartender who has transformed the chaos of serving travelers into a treasure trove of entertaining stories. Picture yourself waiting for a flight, imagination swirling with possibilities. Now imagine the bartender behind the bar, listening to unique tales from patrons who come from all corners of the globe. This episode dives deep into those hilarious anecdotes that Lindsey has gathered throughout her time in the airport scene, including her experiences with celebrities, rowdy travelers, and the unexpected situations that unfold when people are separated from their usual comforts.
The conversation not only captures the energy and drama of airport life but also highlights the essential role bartenders play in enhancing customer experiences amidst travel stresses. As Lindsey unfolds her journey from a regular bar to an airport setting, listeners get a taste of what it truly means to serve the public during high-stake moments. We laugh with her at the absurdity of some encounters and nod in agreement at the universal truths of hospitality. If you've ever navigated an endless terminal or shared a drink with a stranger, you won't want to miss this rollercoaster discussion! Ready for an adventure filled with humor and insight? Tune in, and don't forget to connect with us—share your thoughts, stories, and questions!
Hey guys, welcome back Episode 13 of TFAB, Tales from an Airport Bar. We have a really special guest for you this week, but first I want to introduce my co-host.
Speaker 2:What's up? Everybody Balaké.
Speaker 1:Welcome back everybody. This week we've got Miss Lindsey who worked parallel to us years ago in a little satellite bar. Lindsay, welcome to the show. Thanks for coming on today.
Speaker 3:Hey guys, it's super nice to be here. Thanks for having me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so for starters, tell us how long did you work at the airport?
Speaker 3:I started at the airports. After the COVID happened, my restaurant shut down that I'd been at for five, six years. I had a friend, malcolm, that kept pushing me to go into airports, kept pushing me to go into airports, so he slid me in there in the back door. The rest was history.
Speaker 1:Shout out to Malcolm, episode four. The rest was history.
Speaker 3:Shout out to Malcolm, episode four. Since then I've loved being in the airports and I never want to leave. It's one of those things that once you're in, you're never leaving. You don't go anywhere. You're not going to go anywhere else, You're just going to make friends and hop around.
Speaker 1:You worked at this little satellite bar. Can you give us a little bit about how, maybe, it was set up? How many? What was the capacity of the restaurant?
Speaker 3:So it was just down a little hallway. The only thing next to it was a bathroom and a little Hudson stand, and there were a little convenience store. Yeah, a little newspaper convenience store. We had no kitchen, we had nothing to the sort of food except for a little like pre-wrapped sandwiches.
Speaker 1:It sounds like the little satellite bar I started at years ago.
Speaker 3:That's very common, for you know it was super fun during COVID too, cause you had to serve food with your alcohol and we were always out of food.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Like okay, so why are you here? I don't.
Speaker 1:So we had Carrie on the last show. I don't know if you ever worked with. He worked with Carrie. Yeah, we had her on the last show talking about she's now working that bar. Yeah, no, yeah, and she was talking about all the shenanigans she's been through. Great, that was a great episode.
Speaker 3:It's been. It was a wild ride down there. The cops definitely had their eyes on us most of the time because it was just one large party. Yeah no, I used to bartend down there myself.
Speaker 1:I can't bartend down there anymore. You're not allowed. I like to make things rowdy and I can't do that, so that is not an inviting environment for me.
Speaker 3:I tell people all the time it's not Cabo. You can't do that here.
Speaker 1:Yes, Not an all-inclusive resort. We're on federal property, guys.
Speaker 3:Yeah, we're on federal property. Guys, it's not an all-inclusive resort.
Speaker 1:I don't care that there's an eight hour delay. Like I always say, all your misdemeanors turn into felonies.
Speaker 3:Here it's for the psa um. So so you worked there for how many years there? Okay, 2022, probably two, two and a half years.
Speaker 2:Okay, I was there enough to see some things More so than.
Speaker 3:I thought I would Exactly In an airport it doesn't take so long I'm being honest, you could work there a week and see some things.
Speaker 1:So you still now you don't work at that bar, but you do still work at a bar.
Speaker 3:In two different airports actually.
Speaker 1:Okay, good times, it's a little bit.
Speaker 3:I say a little bit. It's a lot more low-key, more like a wine bar setting and people are sipping their wines. They're not pounding shots of tequila and we have a kitchen where we can feed them.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Good times.
Speaker 3:It's very rare that I have to cut somebody off anymore now. Back then it was a daily occurrence. Like no, no, Drink some water on me, Just bottle of water on me and go sit down at your gate and put your mask on. That's your best friend right now, during COVID. No one can smell you. Just shut up, put your mask on, so I know you've seen.
Speaker 1:Talk to me, talk to me. What shenanigans have you seen? I know the cops have been down there a few times.
Speaker 3:I mean, I was warned of other bartenders not being able to work down there, not pointing any fingers.
Speaker 1:No Drop. You can name drop, it's cool, just not last name.
Speaker 3:Chris and Spencer are no longer allowed to work down here. Don't be like Chris and Spencer, no not Chris.
Speaker 1:No, Chris was still not different Chris totally different oh yeah, he.
Speaker 3:He was not allowed to work in the night shifts because it would just get too rowdy and crazy with him. He, he would try to keep it up until 1 am, and I'm like there are no flights going on at this point. What are you doing? They're laid over for the night.
Speaker 2:They've got to have a place to stay. They've got to have a place to stay. They need to go to their hotel.
Speaker 3:This is ridiculous. So you know, the cops liked me for the longest time just because I did kind of run with an iron fist. I was willing to cut people off, give them their water, send them on their way. Very nice about it, in a nonchalant way Like hey, shut up, You're in a federal building and depending on where you're going to get arrested in this building depends on where you go to jail. So figure it out, Go sit down.
Speaker 3:Shut up and have a drink, but then again, I was the one flying with the drinks the entire time. It's like is there another round of shots coming from Mark, cause this guy's buying. There's only, you know, 13 seats around the bar a couple of two jobs.
Speaker 1:to clarify, you're not the little Filipino lady that um Carrie was describing.
Speaker 3:I am no, I am not I she is actually Never mind Long story. She sells lots of great bags and stuff.
Speaker 1:In a way, in a roundabout way, she's related to my youngest son. Long story.
Speaker 3:I don't know what to do with that.
Speaker 1:Yeah. She cooks amazing though anytime I'd come. Yeah, you know, there was no kitchen. The kitchen was her.
Speaker 2:she was the one giving me all the food the filipino noodles do you want some you know, and she always goes hey, baby, but that woman I mean, you know, she has the voice.
Speaker 3:uh, I don't know if you've ever seen the Emperor's New Groove, but do you remember Yzma?
Speaker 1:That is her voice.
Speaker 3:Great impersonation, by the way, but any time that people she's very loud, she's very out there, she's very abrasive.
Speaker 1:She's a cartoon character, she's a walking cartoon character.
Speaker 3:Sit down, have a drink and she just tells you what to do you, just do it. Sit down, have a drink, and she just tells you what to do.
Speaker 1:You just do it.
Speaker 2:You just do it.
Speaker 3:You want double. It's like being in a nail salon but not being in a nail salon.
Speaker 2:You don't even mean to do what you're doing.
Speaker 3:You don't have control of your body.
Speaker 2:When I first met her, I was working at Rodeo and she was just the grab and go. She wasn't even bartending. But yeah, the first shift I worked with her, I was down there, I opened and within three minutes I had 15 people drinking Bloody Mary. She's like you, you need a Bloody Mary, get in here.
Speaker 3:And I had a full bar and I was like okay, thanks, she's like the, without the cardboard sign and the bell.
Speaker 2:she's bringing people in whether they know they want to be there or not, and she's a force to be reckoned with she's amazing she's got mind control over D-Day. I don't want to get too sidetracked here.
Speaker 1:So no, back to what I said earlier. I know the cops have been down there Talk.
Speaker 3:Oh God, okay, Spill the beans. Most of the time it was people that you know it's an airport. You don't know where they just came from.
Speaker 2:You don't know how many drinks they've had. If it's midday, they could have been traveling all day. We also don't know what kind of Xanax.
Speaker 3:they've been popping If they were delayed. They get anxious when they fly They'll sit down.
Speaker 1:Whatever you're into, we don't judge.
Speaker 3:Halfway through. They can't stand. I'm like, oh fuck, you're not okay. We need to get this guy out of here before the cops get down here. Let's be proactive. We need to get this guy out of here before the cops get down here. Let's be proactive, not reactive.
Speaker 2:And we need to get this receipt.
Speaker 3:Bury it, put it on someone else's tab. No, that never happens.
Speaker 2:Definitely never does.
Speaker 3:Let's close you out, buddy. Let's get you a water. Let's get you to the seat that's six feet away from me and not the bar area, Because technically you're not my problem anymore. Past this little roped gate you go over here. Here's some Advil from the store. That'll be $12.
Speaker 1:Put it on my tab.
Speaker 3:They treated it like it was that little island pool bar you're swimming up to at an inclusive resort and there are no rules.
Speaker 2:There are no rules here.
Speaker 3:I'm like no, there are definitely rules here. We're in a federal building, cool, there are no rules. Shots on it, yes, party, party, party, pump, pump, pump, pump the music. You know you could do whatever you wanted there.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Every now and then you'd see management walking down the hallway. Everybody shh.
Speaker 1:Sounds like a rodeo. People are coming.
Speaker 2:That's assuming they would even notice that.
Speaker 3:That's your job, though, as the bartender. No, I mean that they would To notice that someone's coming down the hallway.
Speaker 2:I mean that the management would even have the awareness to notice what's going on there?
Speaker 3:You never had not going to name drop, but the tall, skinny one just would creep around the corner and I'm like, I know you're 30 feet away, but I can see your butt ass. You're not being sly, dude, what Also? What do you want? Bring me more sandwiches, bro.
Speaker 2:At least do something positive.
Speaker 3:But celebrities, athletes, all kinds of writers, well-known people. Once they start telling their story, you get a few drinks and then you know, just you know. One time I met somebody that was at the Oscars and she had been nominated for an Oscar for a short film called my year of dicks. Oh, oh, I have to go watch it now. It's already saved on my phone. I was like you were literally. Watch it now. It's already saved on my phone. I was like you were literally. She showed me pictures of her with lady gaga channing katum. She was nominated for an oscar. She lost. She was like I lost.
Speaker 3:I was at the losers table, the losers party, with everybody else, like a lot of people lose at the oscars. But yeah, she lived in texas and it was about her losing her virginity while she was in texas. Called my year of dicks, okay, and it's an animated short film like 25 minutes. I can't wait to watch it. She worked on Milana, she worked on all kinds of. I was like you're legit. Who, what, how have I never heard of you? And then Billy Gibbons sat down at my bar once that I almost peed my pants. I'm not going to lie.
Speaker 2:I have no clue. Who's that? Oh yeah, he's been at our bar many times.
Speaker 3:Yes, yes, yes, yes, that big beard, you can't miss the hat that he wears and like he had normal glasses on in order to Bloody Mary with a splash of orange juice.
Speaker 2:He always got double kettle one Bloody Marys with me.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it was the Bloody Mary splash at OJ. That kind of threw me, but I'm like, whatever you want. Everyone at the bar is kind of like do I know him? I'm like, no, shh, you don't. This is my moment. You're not going to ruin this for me. Trying to play it cool, not trying to be that asshole, and as soon as I hand him his check, I'm like I'm a huge fan, really. Thank you so much. What's your name?
Speaker 2:Just he put the sunglasses on the whole facade. I died that day. I was in heaven. Every time he was at our bar, people would freak out and there'd be people in the bar.
Speaker 3:You'd hear hey, is that the ZZ Talk?
Speaker 2:Hey, let me Google a photo real quick. I think that's him. Hey, let's go ask him. Let's go see if his name's Billy.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker 2:I shut that whispering down real quick. And then you know, our audience at our bars typically would be a little bit older, so they all know him. They're all going over there and he's so nice, he was so nice Everyone took photos with him.
Speaker 3:You're older, Chris. How do you not know this guy?
Speaker 2:Well, I wouldn't know the name off the top.
Speaker 1:I would if I saw his face.
Speaker 3:I've never waited on him, and this was like the week before Dusty passed away, so he was going to a show in South Dakota.
Speaker 2:Because you know, down that hallway I get those weird small town slides. That's about the only place you're going in our tournament Going down that side of the tournament.
Speaker 3:You're getting South Dakota. You're getting some hotel in Tennessee I've never heard of. I had to put the South.
Speaker 2:Dakota State women's basketball game on Saturday. For some people at the bar Aren't you lucky. That's how slow it was Wilmington, north Carolina, that I'm putting on the South Dakota State women's basketball game on in the middle of the day, that's something I get butts in seats. Alright, south Dakota flight, let's go as long as it works.
Speaker 1:We're going to Peoria Illinois.
Speaker 3:Amy Adams came in one time. That was still when everyone was masked up.
Speaker 1:Okay, I recognize her immediately.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Lois Lane yeah.
Speaker 3:And you know, at the point you're supposed to ID every single person that comes in the airport, whether they're 17 or 70. So I don't care if you're 70. You're showing me your ID. You had to have it to get in here. Flash it at me Doesn't matter. So she shows me her ID. I was like I figured it was you, I'm such a huge fan. She said thank you so much, Asked me what she should order at the Shiner, since she was in Texas, or a gin and tonic. And I was like, well, Shiner, duh, you're here in Texas.
Speaker 2:Yeah, gin and tonic.
Speaker 3:Right, you can get that afterwards. She was with her daughter though, so didn't want to make a scene or a fuss, but she, she put her hands in mine and was like what's your name, lindsay? Lindsay, I'm Amy, it's so nice to meet you, and she was just so genuine about it. I'm like thank you, lois Lane. I feel so safe now, and I texted, of course, my family as soon as I did with the Billy Gibbons thing, and my brother goes Lindsay, don't you dare embarrass us in front of Lois Lane, I'm going to need you to shut it.
Speaker 1:You're not here, anybody else cool.
Speaker 3:I know that I've run into a lot of athletes. I don't know who they are because I don't fall sports, but I can tell that they're massive rings, that they've won championships Every now and then. I'll try to Google them from their cards. Usually, for the most part, they're not nice. They don't want the attention.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no doubt.
Speaker 3:They got that big ring on their finger. But the minute that you say I see that you played such and such and they're like, yeah, cool, so you're not going to take your sunglasses off or talk to me. What can I get for you? Oh, hard pass. But yeah, most of the time everyone's super nice, super chill. Danny Trejo, that was another one. Spencer was working one of my shifts.
Speaker 1:He had covered. What's that Spencer was covering for me?
Speaker 3:Yeah, I remember Spencer mentioning he met him and he sent me pictures and I'm like damn it, damn it, one time I need a shift covered. And apparently he was super nice. He just had a coat. He's a really nice guy. Everyone recognized him. You can't not recognize Danny.
Speaker 2:He just gave everyone autographs and pictures.
Speaker 3:I mean for the most part. Everyone is always surprised when I tell them about my celebrity stories because they're like wouldn't they fly private? I'm like no man, they're just like us.
Speaker 2:Not everybody has a private jet In these places. There's one way to get to them.
Speaker 3:Even if you have a puddle jumper. That's not making it for no, they fly commercial just like us.
Speaker 1:It's not like Harrison Ford or John Travolta and has their own airplanes and shit.
Speaker 3:Plus that's expensive. We're not all Travis Kelsey and Taylor Swift. We can't.
Speaker 2:Well, even a lot of people that do it run themselves a bankrupt. They can't afford to do it.
Speaker 3:So what's the point at that point? Just fly commercial and deal with your airport bartenders.
Speaker 2:That's it, just get in first class.
Speaker 1:Whatever, no problem. Your airport bartenders and that's it. Just get in first class, whatever, no problem. Go to the lounge if you don't want to be around people, um, so talk to us now about the wine bar, you're in now.
Speaker 3:How's that going? I love it there, love the fact that it's mostly business travelers, so you know you don't get the rowdy group.
Speaker 2:A lot of suits that come into that.
Speaker 1:Blake, I know you've also worked in the wine bar. People never get a little sloshed. It doesn't take a whole lot of wine for some folks.
Speaker 3:I've had my fair share of. I'm going to take this bottle from you. You're going to be lucky. I don't smash it over your head because we're in a federal building and I don't want to get arrested and I would like to get you safely to your gates. Yeah, there was one time I ordered a $360 bottle of wine.
Speaker 1:One of the only ones that we had.
Speaker 3:It was on the shelf for a while Letting other people try it. He literally had one glass out of this and just turned into this giant able where I couldn't get him to sign his check. His card got declined. He tried another one. He wanted to play that game with me where I don't want to hand you the card. Very sexual, harassing, very just cringy.
Speaker 3:Maybe you can come by my yacht club and shine my yacht for me okay, if you can't pay this check, you're not going to be able to afford me so are you going to give me a plane ticket? Let's get past this let's speed things along here it got to the point where you know where I'm working. Now you have to. I can't be as crass as I was at this little satellite bar. I can't drop the F-bomb as much. I can't get my point across by cussing.
Speaker 2:I have to keep my composure. It's much quieter in that bar than other places. That will be her.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's a different world for me, because normally I like to speak my mind, I like to be a little rowdy and loud, and I can't do that there.
Speaker 2:I like to be a little rowdy and loud and I can't do that there, and also everyone there's tab is at least $200. Yeah, Even if they're there for 30 minutes.
Speaker 3:They come in for a soup and a glass of wine, that's a $55 check.
Speaker 2:They are paying, yeah, so you've got to be you know Whether they want to or not. Fine dining in that airport, which is hard to do. I didn't realize this Cabernet was $28. Well, did you look at the menu?
Speaker 3:No, I just said, I wanted this good one. Can you read?
Speaker 2:Well, you asked for it by name.
Speaker 3:I think I asked that at least once.
Speaker 1:No, I think maybe you should read it to me 100%. Yeah, just the other day.
Speaker 3:What is this seared salmon salad? What's a seared salmon salad? I couldn't hide my noise. I was like what do you mean If you?
Speaker 1:don't know what it is. It's like they come into our restaurant. You can't afford it. We've got 10 margaritas on there. We've got like 11 different flavors what's in this margarita? And 47 different tequilas we can make those with, and they're like can I get a margarita? I'm like I'll give you the best damn margarita.
Speaker 3:No, no, my favorite thing about the wine bar is as soon as they walk in, because we're that first thing they see when they walk in through security Can.
Speaker 2:I get a margarita.
Speaker 3:No keep walking. We don't serve that here. Go to Kiske get a Laredo.
Speaker 2:I'll just get a beer then. That was my least favorite thing at the wine bar.
Speaker 3:I'll just get a beer.
Speaker 2:Just go down there and get a beer. You're not going to be happy here. The beer's going to cost more. We only have three beers.
Speaker 3:We do have liquors now, but they're $75 for a nice shot of scotch. It's a good scotch.
Speaker 2:If you're going to do it, then just go all in and turn it into a full bar. Don't do that. I'll just take a scotch or tequila on the rocks. Okay, that'll be $150. What you guys don't have, a queer boat. No. Nobody wants that here, nobody wants that anywhere.
Speaker 1:Garbage person.
Speaker 2:Just go all in. I would always be like, hey, you're not going to hurt my feelings, just keep going, just keep going, just keep walking that way.
Speaker 3:Do you want a full bar? But I saw you. There's one right past the bookstore right past the bathroom.
Speaker 2:I would always go. Any other bar here has that they go. What? Yes, any bar but this one. But this one, what I'll?
Speaker 3:just have a Miller Lite. I did have a gentleman the other day yell at me about soups. All we had was tomato basil and he was not happy with that. I want something else. Okay, I'm so sorry, like we don't offer any other. Well, what soups do you have? And I'm like in the airport yeah, what soups do the airport have? He was so mad at me that I could not tell him.
Speaker 2:I'm like.
Speaker 3:I don't know sir I don't work at those other places. And finally, after about five minutes of us going back and forth, I told him he could get an information, kiox. I just looked at him and said no soup for you and I just went about my business. He probably didn't even get it.
Speaker 2:No, I don't care, though it was a victory for me that was for me, that was not for him um my other. My other favorite thing there was, yeah, any anywhere where you sell salmon and then people always come and go.
Speaker 3:I want that salmon.
Speaker 2:Well done. Where are you getting salmon? What are you doing?
Speaker 3:How long do you have before your flight? 15 minutes Not going to happen.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'd like a well-done salmon. I've got seven and a half minutes before I board to Albuquerque. Do you know what well-done means?
Speaker 1:No, I thought you had the mixed salmon on the menu.
Speaker 2:Do you have a microwave?
Speaker 3:here, don't tempt me. I will do that one day.
Speaker 1:You can't put that on the George Foreman grill.
Speaker 2:I've got a Foreman in my bag, just hand it to me, it's fine.
Speaker 3:I got it through security. Don't ask questions.
Speaker 1:It's just a small electronic.
Speaker 3:With iron plates.
Speaker 1:Yeah, whatever what?
Speaker 3:are you?
Speaker 1:going to do Smash somebody's hand in there.
Speaker 2:Well, it's very heavy. There it is. It's very heavy, no, michael Scott.
Speaker 3:You can't take your wine keys into the water.
Speaker 2:I just like to have bacon ready and fresh in the water. Michael, how did you smash your foot? How did you grill your foot in a George Foreman?
Speaker 3:grill. Seriously, that sounds like something you would do.
Speaker 2:Me.
Speaker 1:Yes, I just like to have fresh bacon in the water.
Speaker 3:You're vegan, but you don't eat bacon.
Speaker 1:No, I love bacon. Who doesn't love bacon?
Speaker 2:now say it like you mean it I love bacon.
Speaker 1:I love bacon, there we go, there we go and you know I think bacon and I have a love, love relationship.
Speaker 2:Okay, seems a little forced.
Speaker 1:I love to eat bacon.
Speaker 3:Bacon loves to have me eat it. I thought you were going somewhere else with that. No, I wasn't. But I will say, I've seen two people naked Not fully naked.
Speaker 1:Back up.
Speaker 3:Not in my life. At the airport and not at the same time.
Speaker 1:Thanks for the clarification.
Speaker 3:There was one woman that came out of the bathroom At the airport. Oh, and not at the same time. Thanks for the clarification. Yeah, that's a good question. There was one woman that came out of the bathroom without her pants on or underwear. Her shoes were still on, so the process that this took. Oh, she was shit hammered, had to take off her shoes, to take off her pants and underwear, then put her shoes back on. That's where the logic was. I need my shoes to get out of this bathroom.
Speaker 2:I don't need my pants or maybe she was wearing a skirt and she went to the bathroom and then just stood up out of it. It was pants and just forgot to pull it up. Who does that?
Speaker 3:I don't know. I was like that sounds easier than the other one.
Speaker 2:Maybe she didn't want to get her feet on the dirty airport bathroom floor.
Speaker 3:Explain to me why there are still no pants though, pants though. Did you shit your pants? Yeah sure.
Speaker 2:I would rather go pantsless than shit. Maybe go buy a hoodie.
Speaker 3:Ripe somebody to buy a hoodie, wrap it around you. I don't know.
Speaker 1:Go shit pants first across the hall, find something.
Speaker 2:I'm going pantsless. That's less embarrassing than shit pants to me.
Speaker 1:What are you doing? Shitting your pants? In the first place, there's a pants bandit in the bathroom.
Speaker 2:My pants are gone in the bathroom. My pants are gone. I was changing clothes. The pants bandit took them.
Speaker 1:Is that what we're?
Speaker 3:going with. He's the pants bandit.
Speaker 1:I'm not at liberty to comment on that.
Speaker 3:There are worse things you can be. We can never deny so.
Speaker 2:This episode's off the rails on.
Speaker 1:It's about you do. Can you give more detail? So the what we're going with is she shit her pants. That's why she came out with the shoes on.
Speaker 3:So the the bar was right across from the bathroom, so you know, half the time I'm getting yelled at where's the bathroom and I'm like right, so right there behind me, wait, so explain.
Speaker 1:So there's a men's and a women's public bathroom, and then there is a….
Speaker 3:Like a family bathroom yeah, handicapped family bathroom that you can go in, where you can go in there and change the baby, but they're all right there. You walk five feet and you're there. You're in the bathroom. You can hit it with your sandwich that you bought Right. I can throw the change. Don't call my $14 sale Turn on my receipt and hit the bathroom door.
Speaker 3:Where is it? You know, people are mad. They can't find the bathroom. Once they do find it, then they come out pantsless. I'm like I didn't even say. Cops come down.
Speaker 1:Of course this is one of the cops. I'm like I didn't even Cops come down, but obviously multiple times, because we're getting to the next story momentarily.
Speaker 3:What happened? I'm like I don't know. I didn't serve this woman.
Speaker 2:She didn't come from my bar.
Speaker 3:I don't know where she came from, crazy town, I don't know. Send her back.
Speaker 2:You'll have to review the film. I don't know.
Speaker 3:She's got no socks on either. This is very concerning. Like you have shoes on, you have pants on. So not sandals, but shoes no, pants no socks, just shoes.
Speaker 1:And what age was this? Young lady, older lady Probably 40s, 50s, oh well maybe her medication kicked in.
Speaker 3:She wasn't 20.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:So there's no.
Speaker 1:She wasn't hammered from someone's bar in the airport.
Speaker 3:There's no telling she could have been. She could have wandered down like a homeless person looking for a sandwich that we did not have, and went to the bathroom instead.
Speaker 2:Okay, it could have been the bar of pill jar, oh top cocktail Uh pill jar.
Speaker 1:Uh, needless to say, she was taken away.
Speaker 2:Uh, needless to say, she was taken away.
Speaker 3:Yes, they're like nah, she's fine People wanted to know if she'd been there.
Speaker 1:Put your pants on and get on your flight, lady.
Speaker 2:They're like there's no way she wasn't in here. I don't know what to tell you?
Speaker 3:Do? You know how many bars there are in this place? This is a big airport Can't keep up with everything Does she have pills in her bag?
Speaker 1:check that first last time was.
Speaker 3:This guy fell out of his chair. I'm giving him one drink.
Speaker 2:I'm drinking that the worst and he fell
Speaker 3:out of his chair and like, oh crap, he was huge too, so like I had to get two other grown men to help me to a chair, give him a bottle of water, and that's when I noticed the giant knee brace. I'm like, perfect, perfect, you're on pain pills. You said okay, good, that's not this isn't going to make me look bad. Cops come down. What happened? I'm like. Obviously he's on pain pills, why'd you serve him? I cause I don't look at everyone's knees, nor can I see them under the bar.
Speaker 2:And our job is to have a 30-second interaction and make that judgment.
Speaker 3:Yeah, what do you want me to do? I gave him the water, I gave him one shot of whiskey and then all of a sudden he can't stand up. He's 300 pounds. I can handle more whiskey than him there you go. They weren't happy. They weren't happy about my attitude at that point. Well, stop bugging me, Dan.
Speaker 1:It's spicy, so naked person number two.
Speaker 3:Oh, there were two different instances where one woman thought that well, and she wasn't wrong, if I flash this guy across the bar he will buy me shots. She wasn't wrong, it happened. This also isn't Bourbon Street. I didn't know what to do. I'm like, oh, I don't know whether to film it or to call security at this point. You can't do that in an airport. And then another woman, I think she was just older, she didn't know airport. And then another woman, I think she was just older, she didn't know she would have been crocheting with beef jerky sticks. She was just her meds were off the charts she didn't know.
Speaker 2:She was at the yeah, she didn't know.
Speaker 3:She was at the airport. She came out with no shirt, a bra and like a bra that covers everything, because she's 70 and her jacket was like slipped over her shoulder and I'm like, oh, oh, honey, no, no, we're missing something. Let me put the jacket on. I don't. Maybe a fashion statement Not with a bra that big.
Speaker 1:And how much did you serve this young lady?
Speaker 3:Oh, I didn't see that person either. I'm like am I a bathroom attendant or a bartender? What is happening?
Speaker 1:You're getting very defensive right now.
Speaker 2:These people serve themselves.
Speaker 3:The girl that did flash the person was at my bar. I did serve her.
Speaker 1:Oh, and the truth comes out.
Speaker 3:But sending a woman that came out so confused. I'm like I didn't serve you anything.
Speaker 1:She was confused before she ever got there she stays confused the younger girl that flashed the guy.
Speaker 3:I can't be mad about it. I mean I probably would have done it in my 20s. Yeah, I could have, but she just kind of kept him out there. I'm like, girl, put it down, you got your free shot.
Speaker 2:It's called a flash.
Speaker 1:It's not called a cover Again this is, this is federal property, you guys, Stop it, at least make it quick.
Speaker 3:There are so many cameras.
Speaker 2:Again subtlety is the art of the airport.
Speaker 3:You just girls, gone wild yourself about, even knowing it Now the whole.
Speaker 1:And how much? Now all of South.
Speaker 3:Dakota knows what areola is like, I mean those girls probably one shot, one drink in and those you know, the gentleman probably bought them around, but we that was before we got onto the two drink ban where you can't serve anyone more than two drinks. I'm like you do realize that's a little unrealistic if someone's sitting here for four hours A lot of our guests.
Speaker 2:That's 15.
Speaker 3:They cannot have no more than two drinks on their check. I'm like cool, you need to close that up. We need to start you another check. We need to find a way around this.
Speaker 1:It does not work like that.
Speaker 2:You just said no more than two drinks on a check you didn't say there was no, asterisk, you didn't say whilst they were sitting here.
Speaker 1:You can have four drinks, two doubles.
Speaker 3:I think it was different down at that satellite bar.
Speaker 1:Well, no, I'm not talking about. I'm not talking about back then, I'm talking about now, it was the loudest yeah and that's fair.
Speaker 3:Like, if you want to, you're, you are kind of at a stainless resource.
Speaker 2:You got to pay for it.
Speaker 3:Go to the next bar if you want to have more drinks.
Speaker 2:Well, that's what I always tell people, even when I'm like hey, you know even when I. Even if they haven't had the limit. I'm like you've met your limit.
Speaker 3:Here. I'm like you're happy to try somewhere else.
Speaker 2:I just can't give you anything. You see that bar, that's 60 feet away. Look, you're happy to try your luck somewhere else. See that bar right behind you over your shoulder.
Speaker 3:This is just all we can do. You've got to protect yourself. You've got to protect your job, just keep going.
Speaker 2:This airport's bigger than Just keep going, you'll find another place.
Speaker 3:The problem was after they'd hit all of your bars and the other bars. That's when they came down to my satellite bar and went to that bathroom and came out without their pants on.
Speaker 2:Oh really.
Speaker 3:Like cool, cool, cool cool. I haven't served you, but I get to handle their mess.
Speaker 1:And I'm sure you handled quite a few messes from the barbecue place as well.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, yeah, we're right next to each other. Then that hallway just funneled them down to their gate.
Speaker 2:Then they actually have to go down to where the dark tunnel, where their flight is yes, uh-oh. Welcome to the dark side.
Speaker 3:Pismat, North Dakota.
Speaker 2:Five hours in. Let's go see what's going on down here.
Speaker 1:Look here on down here, Look, here we got a newsstand and ooh, this bar. Looks like you put those hot dogs on the roller this morning.
Speaker 3:That one looks a little busted. Can I have that one? Sure Been there since 7am. It's the juiciest one.
Speaker 1:Yes, you can tell that to all the boys.
Speaker 3:Did you just edit. It's the juiciest one, no.
Speaker 2:No no.
Speaker 3:That would have been incredible.
Speaker 1:There's no editing here.
Speaker 2:I will make that a sample.
Speaker 1:Yeah, lindsay, thank you so much for coming on our show today.
Speaker 3:This has been a blast.
Speaker 1:You want to go ahead and hit that shot on air here while we're recording? Yeah, do that. Here we go. All right, cheers to you and everybody out there taking a shot with her. Lindsay thank you so much for coming on. We will definitely have you on again. It's been a blast. We don't want you spilling all your stories in one shot here.
Speaker 3:That's what she said.
Speaker 1:No, no stories.
Speaker 2:And that's what we're calling them now. The cool kids are calling them stories.
Speaker 1:No, no, they're not and I'm not that cool. Guys. Thank you so much for listening to the podcast. It's a couple things, though. A couple things, though. Blake talk to me. Well, I want to plug our sponsors real quick Shout-outs to Al Snowball and the Bedford Snowball. Thank you, kevin, for all your support, and we will have you back on here as a guest as well.
Speaker 1:And then we are recording live. You won't hear it live, but we're recording live from the big Apple, as always, guys, blake, excuse me, oh, yes, and then our episode. Uh, well, that we recorded, uh, two weeks ago, that dropped. Uh, blake will be putting up a link so you guys can check it out. We did a crossover episode with these awesome guys that have a podcast here, locally called the Otter House. Um, you should definitely check those guys out. Hilarious, we did a crossover episode with those guys and Blake will be posting a link so you guys can check that out.
Speaker 1:Those episodes are a little longer than usual. We got a little carried away, so it's like they split it into two episodes, so it's like an hour and 50 minutes, something like that. So, yeah, we could have kept going. Check that out, and, uh, we are also. Uh, thanks everybody for your uh monetization, uh, uh, charities. Uh, we are taking more. Uh, the goal is to get some studio time and start getting up on YouTube. We're looking into getting equipment. So our goal right now is like six, seven hundred bucks. So anybody that pitches in on that much love. We are also working on getting some merch out there for you guys. So thanks for all the love and support. We will do it again in a couple of weeks, guys. Again, thank you, lindsay.
Speaker 3:Thank you.
Speaker 1:Guys, until next time, peace, Peace.
