Tales From An Airport Bar
Tales From An Airport Bar
Ep 14: View From The Barstool Featuring Patrick
Hey guys, welcome back. Episode 14, tales from an Airport Bar. Thanks for downloading this one. Guys Appreciate you. This week.
Speaker 1:I am here with my, as always, esteemed guest Guest. No, I run this bitch baby. My esteemed colleague. There we go. We'll get to my esteemed colleague. There we go. We'll get to our esteemed guest, your co host. Yes, come on now. If not enough THC Esteemed guest would be I. Patrick, obviously, chris Short Circuits without enough THC in his system. You know what, so do I. I should have smoked before this. Patrick, thank you for coming on to the show. Welcome to the show man. We appreciate you coming on this. I'm glad to be here.
Speaker 1:Okay, just to give you a rundown, patrick is one of our regulars at the cantina where we work. Patrick likes to fly a lot. I don't like to fly a lot. I'm told to fly a lot. I don't like to fly a lot. I'm told to fly a lot. I'm told where to be. Yeah, yeah, it's all work purposes. Now, if I'm flying for personal pleasure, that's a different story. I mean, that's always enjoyable for the most part, unless you're in Denver in 2021. So well, let's lead off with that.
Speaker 1:Patrick, what happened in Denver of 2021? I think it was 2021. Sounds about right. So you know, this is right. After COVID, this was still technically COVID. It was October of 2021, actually. So, technically, you know, covid stuff was still happening. Yeah, you're flying around with a mask on. We still had to wear masks at the airport. Yeah, so that amplifies my you know my anger issues during this whole fiasco of the Southwest problem, where everything went down and they weren't able to really fly anywhere, especially Denver, because, I don't know if y'all are aware, but that's like one of their major airports went down and they weren't able to really fly anywhere, especially Denver, cause, I don't know if y'all are aware, but that's like one of their major airports for Southwest. And so, to begin the story, you know went out there to go fly fishing with my dad, my neighbor, his friend. You know we had a really good time, caught a lot of fish, got to see some good mountains, whatever, that's a nice little helicopter there, yeah, anyway, um, so, yeah, we caught some fish.
Speaker 1:Whatever trip comes to, it comes to the end. I have a flight 6 30 in the morning. Uh, I get to the airport, you know, I see this big ass, long ass line for the Southwest counter. I'm like, ooh, that's not a good sign. It's kind of early. What's happening here? Flip up, I'm like the news or something on my phone. It's all over the front page. Oh, southwest down, no flights in and out for Southwest. Well, fuck me right, I'm there at five in the morning. I'm already here, yeah. And so I'm scrambling. I'm like I find out the details on my fight. Shocker, it was canceled. So I'm scrambling. I'm going to say you did say it was Southwest, it was Southwest, okay, continue, continue. Hey, the Southwest. Okay, Up until this point. Okay, continue, continue. Hey, the Southwest, okay, up until this point, yeah.
Speaker 1:And now let me put some context on around how important this flight was. I started my new job on Tuesday, okay, this flight was on Monday morning, all right. And so, like I'm scrambling, I'm trying I got to get back, Cause, like my first day at my job is the next day, okay, I have to be there, have to be there. There's no excuse that gets me out of this, none, all right, better get a rental car. Thought about that. But then, before that, I made the drive to Colorado from here and, uh-uh, brother, it sucks. It sucks Colorado from here. And, brother, it sucks, it's a long drive. So that did cross my brain. But then I was like you know, I'd rather be late to my first day of work, I'd rather be at the airport. For the length of the drive I don't give a shit. So I'm scrambling, trying to figure out a new flight. Whatever I get on a couple others that are supposed to leave around noon, whatever Allegedly All allegedly at this point Come to fruition. None of those take off, okay.
Speaker 1:And so I found out in the Denver airport, if you're there like hours before your flight, they have essentially a valet bag service. Oh, they just hold it. They just hold it and they'll bring it to the gate agents or whatever, whenever it's time, whenever it's time, whenever it's time, it ends up on the plane where it needs to go. So, like I'm like lugging around a you know a roller bag because I went fly fishing, so I got like waders in there all my heavy shit, yeah. And so I'm like you know, I'm going to check this out, pay like the 20 bucks it is, or whatever, go about my day in the airport, okay.
Speaker 1:So I stumble upon this bar and, um, I'm sitting there drinking. This guy next to me, we strike up a conversation he's he's trying to get, uh, I think, somewhere east, like somewhere where his mom, sister living, um, tells me his mom or sister bought his plane ticket. And I'm like, oh, yeah, like, where are you from? He's like, well, the thing is, I'm actually homeless. I was like, oh, All right, this must be an experience for you. Then, huh, yeah, yeah, yeah, don't really get to fly too often.
Speaker 1:I was like, how old would you say this gentleman is? Oh, dude, we're talking, probably older than you. Oh, thanks, buddy, chris, thanks Patrick. Well, it could have been the drugs too. You know the rundown, I don't know, on me or him, him. Okay, no, definitely no, I'd probably place him in his 50s, probably. So he's been on the street for a minute. He's definitely older than me, dick, anyway. So, uh. So I was like, oh man, yeah, like, must be an experience for you, whatever.
Speaker 1:And, uh, you know we keep jabbing. And uh, he's like hey, uh, like my sister or someone's trying to send me some money on cash app, like you mind, you mind helping me out with my cash app. I was like, sure, like what's up? He's like, well, I'm trying to sign in, but I don't know my password. I was like well, buddy, no problem, do you know your email? He's like, yeah, I think it's this. I'm like, all right, well, let's click this forgot password thing it's on an AOL page, right and it'll bring you a new password. At this point he just hands me his phone. You do it for me. Yeah, you do it. Future Just want to point out you know a homeless guy with an iPhone Okay, whatever, it makes a lot of sense in this world, but anyway, um, anyway, I'm going about it.
Speaker 1:I just forgot password. I go to his email that I had to find and, uh, you know, luckily the thing came through. So we recessed password. I'm like, hey, man, here's your phone, you want to type in your password. He goes oh no, you can just do it, make it, I'm homeless one, two, three or something like that. Okay, so I do it, get it, get it logged in and all that.
Speaker 1:And then he's like oh, like, so I see my sister, whoever, sent me some money, like how do I get it out? And I was like we gotta have like link to a bank account or debit card or something. You have somewhere to send it. Yeah, he goes oh, okay, so we reached out. It's like a paper clip with all this shit in it.
Speaker 1:We're talking debit cards, a little bit of cash. He has, say, a little bit of cash, because that's going to come into play in a little bit oh, outstanding. And so, whatever, he hands me a debit card and I'm like, I don't know if this will work, to get money out, but we'll see what happens, let's see what happens, I don't know. So he wants you to plug in all his information. Oh, yeah, oh nice, yeah. So if I was a sweet genius with a what's it called, one of those photogenic brains, I mean, I guess it really wouldn't do me that much good. You know, I don't think he's worried about his negative $100. Yeah, he really could take advantage of his credit somehow. Whatever, besides the point, obviously he was not worried about it. Apparently I come across pretty trusting. So, hey, it does work out in my favor these days, blake, and I like you. Would you like my debit card? Sure, do you want me to go buy some beers? Another round, please? Anyway, so we finished, so we finish, we get all this stuff set up.
Speaker 1:To this day. I don't know if he was able to pull money out or send money or whatever he was trying to do. I don't know, but you know he's like oh, thanks, man. Like so grateful for you, whatever. Like, let me buy you a beer. He buys me a beer, I'll let him buy me one beer, whatever. Okay, I'll buy you a beer. He buys me a beer, I'll let him buy me one beer. All right, we keep talking. I finish that beer, let me get you another beer.
Speaker 1:I was like, hey brother, first one was great, but you don't need to be buying me another beer. The second beer is your 401k. Yeah, I was like look, I don't need you to buy me a beer, I'm good. I was like look, I don't need you to buy me a beer, I'm good, I have money. I got my expense account from work. You're like sir, how are you going to keep later? Keep in mind, this was a fly fishing trip. This was no work.
Speaker 1:For the record, I was employed Technically in between jobs, but I still had money, but the paperwork had gone through. Yeah, I had a credit card, but I still had money. But the paperwork had come through. Yeah, but you know, it was in the mail and I had a credit card. So like, whatever, but anyway, I was like I was like here how about this? I'll buy us a couple beers because I don't want you to waste your hard-earned money on me, okay, and you may not remember your password later anyway. So you know that happens.
Speaker 1:I get us that next beer and then you know, he offers to buy me another beer. And then finally, I was like you know, maybe let's just go find a new bar. You know, he kind of frankly, he kind of stank anyway, so Use that beer money for dinner. Yeah, they sell it here. Yeah, right down there at the little shop, a little Hudson News thing, anyway. But yeah, so long story short, we had a great conversation. I dipped out because I didn't want the homeless man to waste his money on my beer, because I was going to drink a lot of it that day. I didn't want to spend the whole day with the homeless guy.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and now, Patrick, this is for our audience. I want to uh explain to them. You look like, uh, you look like Andrew Santino. Um, I've heard that quite a few times, but I want you, I want you to tell us what happened. How long ago did you go to his comedy? Oh, his comedy show. And let's at least explain. Andrew Santino is a comedian on one of the biggest podcasts on the planet. Yeah, bad Friends with Bobby Lee. Yeah, Bobby Lee, but anyways, he's a comedian. Well, he's also on the show Dave with Lil Dicky. He's on Dave. He was in Me Time with Kevin Hart. I mean, he's got a long. He's made his rounds the office. Even Now the show was basically over, was he really? He was just in a new movie.
Speaker 1:He was Andy's boat man when the family went bankrupt and he had to help Andy sell his boat. Oh my gosh, that was his first acting gig ever. I forgot about that. The episode of Bad Friends I was listening to in the car on the way over here. He and Bobby were talking about their first job ever and like how embarrassing it was because he was like, hey, so they're on a boat. They're on like a small boat, right, like a small little fishing boat, maybe a little bit bigger. It's got the underneath and the bed or whatever. And he's supposed to Andy, one of the characters in the office. He's supposed to like slap his hands and this Andy's hand. And this is his first gig ever. He doesn't know anything. And John Krasinski, jim, was directing the episode and he was like hey, the first time he pretended to slap Andy's hand and he was afraid to actually slap him.
Speaker 1:And then John Krasinski goes cut, cut, cut, hey, so we're going to actually use your left hand because your right hand blocks the lens. Okay, and I want you to actually make it look like you're gonna hit it. It's like okay, cool, no problem, easy enough. So what do you guess happens on that? Second? Smash the shit out.
Speaker 1:He's trying to take all these notes and still uses the right hand. Again. He goes hey, hey, now, okay, come on, remember, we just talked about this left right, your left hand, left hand, okay, okay, no problem, I got it. And then again, then again, here we go. Is this Andrew Santino? Yes, yes, no, this is Andrew Santino. And he does it with his right hand again, oh, my God. And Jim Krasinski looks at him and goes hey, bud, it's like when you're talking to your kid hey, bud, don't eat the wood chips, don't eat those, they'll stay on the playground. Hey, talked about this, remember, use your left hand, use your left hand, okay, no problem.
Speaker 1:Third, take what do you think he does? He does the wrong hand again. Jesus, how is that possible? Because it was his first job. There's the nerves. He's done stand-up and he's done something, but he's never done a TV show, especially something on the level of the Office, and this is season 10. They're checked out. Michael's not on it anymore and then finally it's like you know what, let's just use it, let's move on. And he's like that was the most embarrassing thing. And he's like and then everyone got off the boat and I was so embarrassed. So the rest of the day he's like I'm just sitting on the boat like this. Everybody went ahead and got off and I'm just sitting there like an idiot, anyways, anyways.
Speaker 1:So, patrick, so you went to his comedy show. Yeah, how long ago was this? Oh, that was probably what I'd say six months or a year ago. It was like May or April or something. I think it was after the summer. I think it was like September-ish, it was rainy and stuff. Yeah, I didn't feel like it was after the summer. I think it was like September-ish, it was raining and stuff. I didn't feel like it was that long ago. So you went to his show and what happened? Oh, okay, so you know, we're sitting there at the show.
Speaker 1:So the whole point of this show is we got the tickets, kind of as a joke, because you know, at this point everybody's like oh, pat, pat, you look like andrew santino. And I was like, all right, well, cool, he's pretty funny. Like tickets for like 20 bucks a pot? Yeah, all right, we buy them, we splurge for the 25 tickets. All right, dude, this is front row. I was gonna say you're on the front, right, we're talking from me to you and I don't know if y'all are aware of our surroundings. Right now we're sitting at a picnic. So he was like on top of me, he was two feet away and um, all right, so you know, he does this whole skit. Whatever, it's great. Whatever Question time comes.
Speaker 1:And uh, all my friends around me were like Pat, you got to like raise your hand to say it or someone else. Yeah, so my buddy's like, fuck it, I'll do it. Raise his hand. He's like, hey, you. And uh, he's like, hey, there's a guy sitting right in front of you. Would you say that he looks like you? And he looks down. He's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, uh, I'd say doppelganger, huh and um, he was like hey, stand up. Show the crowd, you know, makes stand up. Show the crowd, you know, makes me stand up in front of everybody and put the fucking spotlight on me and it's great as shit. I don't know how they operate with that shit.
Speaker 1:I was in there for an hour, dude, fucking. Everybody was just like hooting, hollering, laughing. It was hilarious, but the best thing about it is, before the show even started, I go to the bathroom because you know we're there a little early and I go to the bathroom, whatever, wash my hands, I turn around, door whips open and some random guy who would be going to the show. He just stops in his tracks and stares at me, probably because he thought I was Andy Santino. I think he saw the great white buffalo, andy Santino, wait a minute, he's with us. And then I just walked right past him and kept going about my day and went to the show and whatever. It was a good time. So. But yeah, dude, it was.
Speaker 1:Got a lot of, got a lot of comments about that and even one time, I think at the airport actually, yeah, someone asked to take a selfie with me. I was going to say did you sign a baby? I was like absolutely, yeah, I was like sure. But like you do know, I'm not andrew santino, right, you want me to. You want me to facetime little dicky while we take this photo? Yeah, and he was like, yeah, I just want to show all my friends. I was like, great, it's kind of fucking weird. But okay, let's just see what happens. Like you're taking a picture of some rando that just happens to look like andrew santino. Like congrats, buddy. I don't know if he planned to go tell all his friends, he met andrew santino. I don't know if he planned to go tell all his friends he met in Santino or something. I don't know, but in his eyes he did.
Speaker 1:So how long would you say you've been coming to our bar? Well, I'm not going to lie. The only reason why I first started coming to those bars, no, no, patrick, you're married. Go ahead, lie. Well, it's because, patrick, you're married. Go ahead, lie. Well, it's because.
Speaker 1:So whenever I started frequent flying from work, I remember there was a bar in the airport and they had this really good like blue margarita that had a beer in it. Yeah, you know, and frankly, I thought it was y'all's bar. You just stumbled in. I stumbled in and it wasn't y'all's bar. I mixed up my terminals. It was the other one, owned by a different company. Do y'all actually remember the names of places in airports when you go to them? No, when I'm traveling. No, that place with the sandwiches, I don't know. I probably just now remembered y'all's bar's name a few months ago.
Speaker 1:Anywho, I stumble into the bar and I'm like shit, this is not the place. This is Blue Margarita. I contemplated leaving and then fucking Chris over here does his little name game thing and I was like, oh, you know, this might be a pretty okay place. I get a beer. You know, downside to this bar there's no fucking Miller Lite on tap. I was going to say you were drinking Miller Lite bottle that day. I don't understand why. So since then I've swapped to 8 because you know the 8 Elite Lager.
Speaker 1:We're sorry, patrick, those executive decisions are way above Blake and I's pay grade. Aren't you the bar manager or something? No, a supervisor. He orders all the alcohol. He orders all the alcohol, except for the beer. It's branded. What do you want me to do? Why do you hate me and pretty much every other person that walks into the bar? Patrick doesn't ask for much, he just asks for Miller Lite On tap. That's it. You get what you get and you don't throw it away. You take that bottle, I will say I appreciate that y'all have upgraded from those shitty plastic tall glasses to actual glass ones.
Speaker 1:You say y'all we make these as a gut thing. In my eyes you do. We say shitty, but those glasses never broke they. We say shitty but those glasses never broke. They're so paper thick and the glass tall. So we have a short beard and a tall beard. The tall 22-ounce beard that we have is the cheapest glass I've ever seen in my life. Every time either it looks like my eight-year-old hand blow these glasses.
Speaker 1:You pull a glass out of the cooler it breaks. You open the tap and let the beer hit the glass the glass shatters. You close the cooler it breaks. You open the tap and let the beer hit the glass the glass shatters. You close the door to the dishwasher the glass shatters. You whisper sweet nothings in its ear it shatters. It's unbelievable.
Speaker 1:All I know is it sounds like y'all need to have some softer hands up in there. There's no hands, bro. I'm telling you these things are paper thin, open in the beer tap room. And I'm telling you these things are paper thin, opening the beer tap room and you should see them. Sometimes they're like the bottom of them. How many times have y'all's female bartender broken one of these glasses? About 27 a day, no comment.
Speaker 1:Okay, well, she might be new then. It doesn't matter who does it, they break it, I swear to God. Yeah, no, I swear to God. I was hoping she would have a better record than y'all. No one does. No one does. We're undefeated. Yeah, maybe, true, we're like the 72 Dolphins.
Speaker 1:Anyway, we're getting a little off track here. Yes, go on. This podcast should be called Detour. Yeah, Could be, actually. But anyway, with Andrew Santino's double, I wish he would just hire me on to be his actual double. And Santino it's funny, on Bad Friends he's always the one trying to get it back on track. You're playing the role perfectly, patrick. It works out. You're playing the role perfectly. He really just needs to hire me as double and pay me money to be him, anyway.
Speaker 1:So I stumble into the bar, I order my beer, I'm drinking whatever, and for whatever reason that just became my go-to bar, probably because Block A and Chris here were so hospitable and they remember my name. So that was a fun thing, and that beer was poured before you even got your seat. Yeah, that's true. I mean, it probably wasn't for me originally. But you know, here we are. I don't know about you, know the new day you're traveling, but at least when I was there, before you sat down that ate to pork, if nothing else, we asked you what your name was and what can we humbly get you to drink. We bonded over Baconators the first time, wendy's Baconators. Who doesn't love Baconators? Those things are so good.
Speaker 1:I will say that I think they have gone down in quality. Shout out to any sponsorships. We love you, wendy's, wendy's, dave. Rest in peace, dave. Where's the beef? I take it back, wendy's, your bacon. Airs have not gone down in quality. If anything, they're better and y'all should sponsor these guys Exactly. We'll cut that part. I will say the spicy nugs, the saucy nugs, those are pretty good, they're actually pretty good. They're a little hard, they're actually pretty good. Their garlic parm fries pretty good. Yes, can't complain, I'll have to check that out. Their baked potatoes and their chili also good. Yes, chili's a classic. Their chili's incredible. Yeah. But anyway, I digress.
Speaker 1:If you're not health conscious, I will say I ended up eating Wendy's for probably the first five times I flew out to my work location, borger, texas. I don't know if you've ever been there audience Whereabouts Ain't much going on Not much. They have a Bennigan's though. So if you're wondering where one of the few last standing Bennigan's is in the United States, there's one in Borger, texas. That is spelled B-O-R-G-E-R. It's north of Amarillo, 45 minutes Now.
Speaker 1:What's funny is our company owned the binnigans, and even the one in the airport shut down. Yeah, I can tell you. Yeah, they only have about six. I actually worked at that a few times. They only have about six brick and mortars left. I was going to say there might be less than that, and they are all in small towns Just because they don't have the money to get rid of it. Probably that, and honestly probably. My guess is if it's anything like Borger, it's a small town with like five restaurants. Those regulars are keeping it going. I am one of those regulars there. Regulars are keeping it going. I am one of those regulars there.
Speaker 1:Shout out to Modesty at Binigan's and Borger, she's my favorite bartender. They probably have Bill O'Lantern on tap. He's your favorite bartender. She, oh, okay, she's your favorite female bartender, the Binigan's and Borger. She doesn't break tall glasses like we do. Well, you say that. I have witnessed it once. Okay, okay, once On the car so she doesn't have the tall paper thing, glasses to break. Well, she would break them too. I mean, yeah, how would you know?
Speaker 1:Do you want to make a trip out there with me one day? Not really, yeah, it's true, I don't blame you, but anyway, out in the middle of Texas no, it's actually the Panhandle. It is Texas, but it is the Panhandle. We're not talking west, it is the middle of nowhere, sir, it is the middle of nowhere, I will agree.
Speaker 1:Great hunting out there. Though, what are you hunting? Well, you can hunt anything Whatever. So you got you got deers, you got enough, yeah, whatever. So anything on four feet, they got it, okay. Um, any bird you can imagine, they got it. So I actually went dove hunting over there one day. I went dove hunting three days in a row, came back with 30 doves. Do you like to eat a little dove? I do like to eat a little dove. How is that dove lonesome? Well, when it's with me and Borger, yes, or if it lands in Borger, it's always going to be lonesome. It's like just let me out of my misery, patrick. They were pretty much begging to be killed out there.
Speaker 1:So you became a regular at the cantina where we work, and so what's the coolest or the craziest thing you've seen? I think my favorite. I've got two favorites, all right. So my favorite one was probably earlier in my traveling career. I popped down at the bar after a flight. Okay, chris is working.
Speaker 1:You may have been working, I don't recall, but there's this small girl sitting at the bar and she was plastered already at this point. Well, I definitely wasn't working. Yeah, and you know, I holler at her from across the bar. I'm like what you doing here? Because I kind of overheard, like I think I recall this vaguely Go on. She was like waiting on her sister or someone to come pick her up from the airport. Is this the girl that started crying? No, go on. No, I don't think so. No, go on. But it's like leave the airport. I would like to hear about that, but we'll get to that. No, I anyway. I hear over here saying that, like her sister, somebody is coming to pick her up and, um, like she's about to be there.
Speaker 1:Okay, like 30 minutes goes by and this girl is still there, and at this point she's talking up some guy that decided to sit next to her and he must have been equally as drunk or whatever. Oh for sure, somehow they got some more shots, Somehow. No, that is not true. It was true. Nobody was pushing. I was probably working with some jackass that wasn't paying attention to how many they had.
Speaker 1:I'm not saying it was you that served her. We have a fortune. I'm just saying it was you that served her. We have a fortune in that. I'm just saying these shots appeared. I'm just saying somehow she got shot. She didn't win Bam, and two shots were there. We don't know Allegedly Well, that's how she got there. I will say she took this shot and then she was cut off after that. But evidently she should have been cut off before that. But go anyway.
Speaker 1:But at this point, when she got these shots, she's like oh yeah, like my sister, she's outside waiting for me and we're all like what the fuck are you still doing here? Why are you here? I was like are you just choosing to pay airport prices for drinks right now? Like this is crazy. She doesn't know she's at the airship, she probably probably, and she probably doesn't know what kind of economy she's living in right now. But you know, crazy If someone else is buying, it's free, yeah, anyway. So Bryce is right, bob. I think she eventually got that dude's number, by the way. I hope so, I hope so. Hopefully they linked up outside of the airport bar. So I mean, one of them didn't smudge the wrong. You know one of the digits wrong. It's very possible they were quite drunk.
Speaker 1:But now, second is all my favorite stories happen to be whenever I get off the plane and I happen to be waiting on my wife to come pick me up. Yeah, so like, well, is it back in March? No, no, no, sorry, it was back in March. No, no, no, sorry, sorry. Back in November I got the first half of my bonus from my previous company. Yeah, and uh, hop off the plane. My wife's like, hey, I'll be there in like 30 minutes. Go catch a drink with Blake and Chris. Cool, all right, cool, yeah, don't twist my arm. Whatever, I sit down, I get my beer, I'm shooting the shit with Chris and he does this whole name game thing.
Speaker 1:And then he's like who's buying around for the bar? And I was like fuck it, keep in mind, keep in mind, I probably had three beers at the airport in amarillo before I got on my 45 minute flight. You know, none of our, and we're talking none of our business. We're talking talls, okay, none of our business. Yeah, and you probably only had like maybe one beer when you got, yeah, to our bar, yeah, and then on the plane I had like two gin and sprites. So you know, that was pretty soft stuff. I just got a bonus. Baby, let's get some shots.
Speaker 1:I get my one beer from chris and uh, yeah, I was keeping under control, obviously because he didn't cut me off. Yeah, uh, he does this whole name game, he does the round shots thing, and I was like, fuck it, I'll buy it, why not my turn? I was like chris, come here, well, he's like what? I was like how, fuck it, I'll buy it, why not my turn? I was like Chris, come here, well, he's like what. I was like how much is it going to cost me? He's like I know I got bonus and everything, but like, come on, he's like I'll hook you up.
Speaker 1:And so I think like 10, 12 people order a shot of tequila. I chose tequila Because half the people won yes, but there's at least a good 10 people that'll say yes every time. So he pours us up some tequila shots. I think it was some hornitos or something like that. I guarantee you it was. Hornitos Came out clean with like $100. Not bad. You're like you know what. That's fine. This is what pays to become a regular at an airport bar. Guys, don't give all my secrets. Those shots were all rung up, sir. Sorry, they were rung up at full price, with no discount for sure. None For sure. I paid full price for those, never, ever, discounted anything. I spent my entire. There's no discounts on alcohol in Texas. That's against the law, blake. Yes, okay, I'm sorry, blake.
Speaker 1:Chris, you did not ring me up. I think it was the other person that was there. Oh for sure, and it wasn't me either. No, the other Chris. Yeah, it was the other Chris. It was the other Chris, you're right. My bad, we got to talk about it. It was the other Chris, the other other Chris. Anyway, yeah, we all took the shot and I dipped out right after that. Yes, at me. I remember His mic dropped and he got out of there. That's pretty much it. Great job. Everybody tips nicely. That wasn't that long ago. No, that was back in November.
Speaker 1:Everybody wants to be the guy that gets it going, oh, yeah, or everybody. There's always Excuse me, not everybody. There's always one that wants to just piss on everybody's parade and not have a good time. You know what I mean, which I don't understand that either. I will say that's probably usually never me, like I was. Like that's never been.
Speaker 1:Patrick, yeah now I don't frequently do shots, though, but like you catch me in the right mood now. Yeah, shots when I do mainly only tequila or patrick it's. It's our job to read the room. Yeah, true, well, we're kind of good at that, good at catching me on my good days, but I don't think I've ever caught you on a bad day. Yeah, right, yeah, that's because I don't go sit there in the mornings whenever I'm flying out, because you know it's an airport bar. You don't need to go to work, I don't need to be there in the morning.
Speaker 1:Talk to all these other people that I'm giving double Bloody Marys to that are going to work, but on the way back, I don't know how they do it. I don't know how they do it. I mean, I'm not saying that's a bad idea, but like I don't know how they do it, that might be Maybe, maybe next time. There's just no way I'm having three double Bloody Bears and Joe presenting a project to my boss for no good reason. I don't think that's a great idea. To drink before going into a plant, I don't think so either. No, definitely not. Where there's a lot of heavy machinery, well. But luckily, I work in the office as an airport bartender, blake and I. I can't speak for Blake, but we will promote the alcohol.
Speaker 1:If you come to the bar, patrick, it's a great idea to have a drink before you get on your flight. That is your job. We are professional armchairs. The best idea you've had all day is to have a drink before you get on your flight. Patrick, I'll just steer clear of y'all's bar in the morning. That's about it. I won't even make that. We're not there in the mornings. I will say I'm not. I am. Yeah, I will say I'm there in the morning more than I'm not. Sometimes, whenever I'm leaving and I don't have time to stop at the bar, I'll walk past up, but usually y'all are too busy. So, yeah, that's true, it's okay, though. Of course it is, but we feel it it's okay. Sometimes they avoid me. We feel it it's all right. No, no, love here for me. No, I'm busy with other guests.
Speaker 1:Patrick, you're not the only person sitting at the bar. Yeah, that's true. Honestly, y'all are usually pretty slam because I fly in at like 530 or something. That's right when it's freaking hot. I'd like to think we've never neglected you, patrick, actually never. You haven't.
Speaker 1:You've actually brought a stool out of the woodworks for me one time. Well, that was that one. I was like Patrick, get your ass over here. And then I carried it. I stole a chair from the high chair. I remember that. And I had to go behind like 12 people hold it up in the air, try to not hit the TVs. I was like, sit your ass down right here. And then I was like, guys, make a river here, okay. And we got you Because there were no seats. No, it was a packed bar. I said you know what? For Patrick, there's always a seat. I yeah, I remember you carrying that huge bar stool that weighs as much as you do over your head, like it's a bar mitzvah. Guys, watch your head. I'm coming behind you with a chair.
Speaker 1:It's a Jewish wedding. A bar mitzvah and a Jewish wedding are two separate things. Whatever, whatever they put I'm not Jewish, so I don't know they put them in the chair and they hoist them up. That's a bar mitzvah and that's where he what is it? A 13-year-old boy? Yes, is that a bar mitzvah? Yeah, that's a bar mitzvah, dude. I thought they did that at weddings and stuff too. That's when a boy becomes a man in the Jewish eyes, Okay, like a quinceañera for, but Jewish, just a teenage thing now.
Speaker 1:Do they do? Do they do bar mitzvahs for girls? I don't know. It's a bat mitzvah. Oh, really, ok, maybe I have zero idea. I've never been to either. I've heard they're pretty lit. Those are fucking lit. I'll tell you that much.
Speaker 1:Now, I would assume a bar mitzvah is lit, but I don't know. I've heard they're pretty lit though. I've been to quinceañeras. Those are fucking lit, I'll tell you that much. Yeah, now, I would assume apartments was lit, but I don't know. I've heard they're lit. I assume they're lit too. Whose quinceañera did you go to? I don't know. Oh, okay, I think I remember you telling me about it Years ago. Yeah, I just know it. Yeah, good times. Oh, they got me drunk at it, whatever it was, whoever's piece or whatever I was. Side note, they sure did get me drunk y'all, I don't know Side note Steering us back. I don't know. I do have another.
Speaker 1:You know, sometimes traveling is not always as it's made out to be, and sometimes you do encounter some people at the bars that severely depress you, and I'm about to share a story about that. We don't have a choice to deal with them. That's why they make gummies. Yeah, right, no. But like one time I was stuck in DFW actually, and I don't know, my flight changed to like E, the satellite E terminal. Yeah, no one wants to go to E. All right, I was just talking with people today about it. They're like no one wants to go to E. I found a bar. I just popped down.
Speaker 1:This lady next to me strikes up conversation and we're just chatting. I'm like, hey, where are you going? What are you going to do? Whatever you know, she's like going to Seattle or somewhere. No guy like that going to I don't know Seattle or somewhere, yeah, wherever. I was like, oh cool, what's out there? She's like, oh well, my dad was on hospice. I was like, oh shit, that's no bueno. She's like, yeah, but all this flight stuff happening, cancellations, I didn't get to make it out there on time and he died. I was like looked around and I was like, huh, where's my beer at? And uh, I just kind of drank my beer and um paid, paid my tab and left after that because I was like I'm not I'm not here to be depressed or sad man.
Speaker 1:Let me tell you that happens more than you would think, patrick. People flying back and forth for funerals oh, I know, it's very, very common. I have learned this. Like I said, blake and I get paid to read the room. You've got to be careful, you've got to look at people's face. That's why we interact with you. We ask your name, you know. Yeah, yeah. Well, to be fair, she striked up the conversation, she started it. You just fell on normal back and forth. Hey, where are you going? Normal banter, what's going on On vacation? She just decided to drop a bomb on me. She wanted to. It sounded like she wanted to get it off of her chest and into somebody else's plate.
Speaker 1:Now to counter that there are the times when you walk up to the bar and you're like, hey, we're about to start boarding in three minutes and you're standing in the boarding line and these two people around you they're like you want to go grab a beer real quick. And I'm like, fucking right. So we walk over to the other little bar. You know, in the down the whatever. Yeah, the little satellite down the uh, whatever. Yep, yeah, a little satellite, yeah, and um, we hammer three beers right there and you can see the line from there like why not hammer three beers? And we get on the plane a little tipsy at this point. Jump in line, do, do, do, do. Do we see the line move too quick? And this is like after sitting at y'all's bar, so like I already had three, four beers and so I had one or two more.
Speaker 1:I'm not a quitter, nice plane ride, that's all I got to say. Sleepy time, it makes that Baconator even nicer. Yeah, I will say dude, eating Baconators. For the first five times I flew out there Every Sunday night I'd be like I'm not going to get any food. I got a Baconator in my future. It's right next to the hotel, dude, it literally is. It's like Baconator hotel. We're talking Like I skip parking lots Every Sunday night.
Speaker 1:I'd just stop asking Pat if he wanted food because I already knew a Baconator was in his future. I knew you didn't need a food menu Wendy's, please, sponsor. And you didn't have Miller Lite on tap, yeah, so I had to settle for the organic shitty thing. Damn it. Troy. Patrick, thank you so so much for coming on this week. You are the best bar regular I've ever had in my 26 plus years of bartending and running around and in restaurants. Patrick, come out, you can come, have a beer and non-discounted shots Anytime you want. Well, hopefully my uh, my flights will start picking up more. You know, I got to get some driving out of the way first and then I'm going to go back to flying pretty regularly. We love it To all our listeners. Thank you so much, guys, for downloading these episodes and supporting us and laughing with us. We love you a long time. We will see you, guys, again in a few weeks. Peace, peace out. Girl Scouts.
