Tales From An Airport Bar
Tales From An Airport Bar
Ep 23: Squeegee Sharpener Featuring Andy
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Ever wonder what really happens behind the bar while the airport roars outside? We bring in Andy, a veteran who’s poured, plated, and problem‑solved across Dallas–Fort Worth for nearly two decades, to trace the wild arc from teenage shifts at El Chico to cross‑terminal utility runs and the cobwebbed revival of a shuttered wine and pizza bar after COVID. He unpacks the split personality of airport hospitality—line cook one hour, server the next, therapist by default—while revealing why simple food, cold beer, and a fast smile still beat any fancy concept when flights are late.
The stories fly. A new‑hire prank becomes local legend thanks to a duct‑taped “squeegee sharpener.” A guest buys a beer, smashes the bottle, sprints for D5, and triggers an unforgettable moment when security opens a hidden wall and quietly disappears him. Nostalgia kicks in as we revisit tequilaria, Terminal E lore, and the way crews from rival spots still collaborate when the rush hits. The celeb sightings deliver texture, not ego: Cowboys players passing through, Stars great Jere Lehtinen dropping by, Linda Carter revealed only when the check prints, and a friendship with country star Joe Nichols built on the most overachieving Irish coffee you’ve ever heard described.
What anchors it all is craft and community. Andy’s path through Riata, Blue Mesa, a Tex‑Mex cantina, and auxiliary outposts shows how airport bars survive constant change—new ownership, new terminals, new uniforms—without losing the heart of service. If you love travel, restaurants, or just a good story told with bite, you’ll find yourself nodding along, laughing, and maybe rethinking that next gate‑bar stop. Hit follow, share this with a service‑industry friend, and drop a review to tell us your best airport bar moment—what’s the wildest thing you’ve seen between boarding calls?
Welcome back, everybody. Tells from an airport bar, episode 23, jump man style. We've got a wonderful guest for you today. As usual, I am Christopher, and I've got my beautiful, lovely man of a co-host, Blake, with me today. What up, baby? As always. Welcome back, gang. And today we are going to be having a young man on our show. Not so young. That um we have a ton of mutual friends, but have never met. Welcome to the show, Andy. Uh, thank you, sir. Um, let's start off with just, you know, tell us a little bit about yourself. Where did you start out and which airports?
SPEAKER_00:Uh, well, before we get to that, if I may, yeah, go. Uh, I want to tell a quick story because, you know, how often do family members ever get to see you in the airport? You know what I mean? You gotta buy the damn plane ticket to get in, you know what I mean? And uh for Christmas, my daughter flew out and she just happened to be going out of my gates. So she finally got to see me in my work element. Oh, yeah. And I told her that I would lead off with this story just simply because it's cute as hell. And uh I'm right now I'm working at a kind of I forget what you guys called it. It was like an auxiliary bar or kiosk bar or one of those things.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Where it's just uh beer, wine, and seltzers. Everything's to go. Lucky. I know, it's so cool, man. Anyway, she and her mom show up, my ex-wife, and uh, you know, I've got a line of people, so I'm just it's just one and done.
SPEAKER_02:Just like Starbucks, get it and go. Yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_00:One after another. And uh I can hear him chatting at the end of the bar. And uh, she looks at her mom, she goes, He's he's so nice and professional at work. And I just happen to hear that, and her mom says, you know, uh, that's called the customer service voice. So the very next guy who walks up to the bar, I go, What? What do you want? And she goes, Yep, there it is. That's my dad. So I wanted to get that one out of the way just simply because we never know exactly where the uh the energy in this show is gonna go, and I may have to cut it off after that one. So um so I wanted to make sure she got to hear that part because she's been listening with me. That's awesome. Whoa. I mean, there there are a couple episodes where I was like, yeah, we're just gonna switch it back to, you know, you you can DJ. You can back to Taylor Swift. Let's go. Precisely. Yeah. So anyway, as far as origin story is concerned, uh, first restaurant job, I was 15 years old. Uh got into an El Chico in Wichita Falls. Nice. And uh I was running the door and uh busting tables and running trays, you know.
SPEAKER_03:I grew up on El Chico, it was awesome.
SPEAKER_00:Dude, I fucking loved El Chico. I worked there for five years, never once got tired of the menu. It was awesome. Uh when I moved to DFW, uh that's Tex Mass. Oh, dude, it's fucking delicious. I love it. But uh yeah, when I moved here, the higher-ups made the phone call and got me the transfer and everything, and I got into a store over in uh uh Ritz on the Hills. Yeah. And uh well I've again. I believe it's still there. It's still there, yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh again, I take my daughter there every once in a while. We love the tortilla soup.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:But uh while I was there, I ended up getting another family member a job there, and they had this really cool terrace. And basically her job was to wait on tables, and my job was to be the class clown. And we just shared that section. It was like, I don't know, a good dozen, maybe 15 tables up there with big tops and everything. And uh she just did all the running because she's antisocial as shit. Yeah, I'll just go around and entertain. All I did was just go around and just fucking pat everybody on the back and shake hands and just make jokes all fucking day. Well, she ended up cutting out and uh ended up at uh well it was DFW Airport. Uh you know the the the the the store with the red and white shirts and they wear lots of flares. Shenanigans. That's where I started. Oh, shenanigans. That's where I started my career. See, I I call the Irish pub shenanigans. Oh, well because of the movie, you know, waiting.
SPEAKER_01:You know, uh on Richie's episode, he called it uh I I hit Mondays. I hit Mondays.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, IFH Mondays, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. Uh Andy, in here it's always right.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:I like to party. So anyway, I was. No, you can't party because I party. No, you guys, I'm the only one that parties.
SPEAKER_00:Well, you're certainly better at than I am.
SPEAKER_01:Um sorry. We like we like to interrupt our guests all the time, Andy. You're good at it. Go ahead.
SPEAKER_00:So yeah, I I got there and uh I think I was 20 years old. And uh this is you don't look at you don't look a day over 23 now. Ah, thank you. God, you're a sexy bitch.
SPEAKER_01:It takes one to know one.
SPEAKER_00:Talent knows talent. But uh so I I show up and I interview for a back-of-the-house job because at that point I was so burned out on people.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_00:But I mean, if you've ever hung out in Richmond Hills, there's a reason why. It's not the airport, you know? It's no Haltham City, it's not Haltham City, not by any means. But uh anyway, so I I end up you know working in the kitchen at Fridays for a couple of years, and then they cross-trained me for front of the house, which basically made me like a utility player for them. Yeah, and you know, Terminal C would call over and just be like, hey, we're missing our broil guy for the day. Can you send somebody over? Because I was in Terminal E and it's it's dead. It's dead. We called it MTE at that point. Uh speaking of which, I'm gonna come back to this, but I have a question for you about Terminal E. Okay. But uh I've got I've got some answers for you about Terminal E.
SPEAKER_01:I worked there, yeah. Yeah, I worked there for over a decade. Me too.
SPEAKER_00:But uh again, it's amazing that we've never met.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, but we've crossed paths. We have to.
SPEAKER_00:We have to. And so uh yeah, I mean they they they'd call over to MTE and be like, we need a broil guy, and then I would haul ass over there on Skylink and I, you know, I'm dressed as a server and running the fucking broil over there. You know, I mean, just I did that for years with that company. And uh anyway, after that, and it ended up at you know the one that I call shenanigans, you call it the other Irish pub. Did five years with them, left the airport for a year, opened the store in uh Lake Worth, and then transferred back. Uh after that, it was uh Riata. That's where I that's where I met our boy Spenceless.
SPEAKER_02:That's what I was gonna say.
SPEAKER_00:We left there.
SPEAKER_01:So, did you also work with uh um Chase?
SPEAKER_00:Dude, I'm so terrible with names. I would never in a million years be able to keep up with you on the name game. Okay, like in one ear and out the other. You know what I mean? Good friend of Spencer's and I. Um no, you know what? Actually, I have hung out with Chase. I never worked with him, but I have hung out with him. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:I know you're talking about yeah, um so Riyadh.
SPEAKER_00:After Riotta, uh we left. There was like a team of us. We we kind of all left at once, and we did the NSO, the uh the new store opening at Blue Mesa, which is now I think it's called uh uh Taco.
SPEAKER_01:Well, it turned into the gas monkey, and now I've no no no. This is in Terminal Lee.
SPEAKER_00:Oh, the one that you're talking about was downstairs from Riata. So before it was the Blue Mesa. It was a Blue Mesa downstairs, yeah. And we were actually regulars there. We would clock out from shenanigans and go down there and have a beer and a shot, and then we would fuck off. At what gate was this? Oh, isn't it in the little satellite? No, this is below Riyada in Terminal D. So that's the one that turned into gas fucking and then they opened another blue mesa in Terminal E. Yes, and that's when we left Riata. Like I said, there was like a little team of us, and we go over to Terminal E and we open it up, and you know, Spence was in that team.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, I was gonna say Spencer was there.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. And uh through uh through a uh a course of unf uh anyway, he got fired.
SPEAKER_01:I believe I believe he talked about that.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, uh Diddy?
SPEAKER_02:I think he did.
SPEAKER_00:So anyway, I'm pretty sure that's when he hooked up with you guys. No, he is not Diddy. But uh yeah, then uh uh my front of the house manager comes and hits me up, and I'm on like service wall. Uh uh uh sorry, the Pink Floyd thing over there. Uh service well. Yeah, service well. And uh he comes and he was like, hey man, I'm opening this iHop over here. You want to come work with me? And I was like, fuck no. And he's like, why not? And I said, Little kids in maple syrup, you can eat shit and die. I'm not going over there. Yeah, fuck that. He goes, dude, there's gonna be a bar. And I was like, wait a minute, what? And he said, Well, I've already got Spencer in. And I was like, Okay, so you're bringing all my boys with you. Fuck it, I'm in.
SPEAKER_02:And uh like a Spencer's in, I mean it's gonna be a good time.
SPEAKER_00:There's there's gonna be a bar in an IHOP? Fuck yeah.
SPEAKER_01:So you also know his roommate, Logan. Oh, dude, I've been knowing Logan. Yeah, that's I've just met him for the first time recently. Yeah, yeah, dude. You should have him on.
SPEAKER_00:You should have him on.
SPEAKER_01:I would love to. I would love to.
SPEAKER_00:I need to next time I bump into him, I will so uh so yeah, we got shut down for COVID, and when I came back, uh the conglomerate that bought the thing, uh and uh they they bought another one of the sister stores, and that was in the international terminal, and you guys so endearingly referred to it as the wine and pizza bar. Yes, and that's where you know that bar was like dormant for all of COVID. It had cobwebs on it when I came in. And uh they were like, we need somebody to open this bar for us, and I was just like, Yeah, sure, man, I got it, dude.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, yay! I we originally opened that thing and it was it was fun. Yeah, so uh we talk about that on the episode with John, yeah.
SPEAKER_00:I guess I missed that one. I'll have to go back, but uh but yeah, you know, now it's the alien theme. So they basically said you you can wear whatever you want. Yes, I used to work in that spot when it was an Irish pub. Yeah, yeah. Anyway, uh so yeah, I spent a year running that upstairs bar, like all by my damn lonesome. So there's the so there's the bar there's the bar top, and there's a million tables, 16 two-tops, and then there's the other side. Yeah. So like, you know, they used me for overflow, dude. I kill it. I mean, I'm gonna do it.
SPEAKER_01:What kind of what kind of food were you serving up there?
SPEAKER_00:Uh it was just, you know, chicken tenders and just fried bullshit, burgers, you know, burgers and fries.
SPEAKER_03:That's all anybody needs at the airport.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, exactly, dude. I mean, it's the best concept.
SPEAKER_03:As long as there's a drink, they don't care.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, yeah. But you know, with 180 beers on tap, I mean, that's that's what people are after. We'll wash it down, whatever it is. There you go. So then uh I ended up going to uh the D extension, which didn't used to exist. You know that was recently built in the last few years. The last few years, yeah. Yeah. Uh because I remember when I made the phone call and was, you know, asking around, everybody was like, dude, uh, you don't even know where we are, but you'll find it. That kind of thing, you know? And uh yeah, I ended up taking a taking a break for uh for a spine surgery, and when I came back, they were all staffed up. And I called HR and was like, dude, you know, I need a job. And old boy was like, I'll find you one.
SPEAKER_03:We'll find one.
SPEAKER_00:He's like, I'll find you a job, but it may not be in this airport. And I was like, Well, I guess we'll call the other airport, and that's how I got to the other airport.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, Dallas has two beautiful airports. Um, so okay, and now you work at the uh you work at a uh Cantina style bar with Spencer?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, there's a uh, you know, it's it's it's a Tex-Mex concept, and then we have a couple of like auxiliary bars. And I do it's the same kind of concept that Blake, it's the exact same concept that Blake and I work in. Nice. Yeah. But uh, but yeah, they've got me working two different auxiliary bars and the restaurant. So I mean, like, if dude, if I were to open my uh availability, they'd be working me to death. Like you're here every day. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:If you were able to open your own bar, dude.
SPEAKER_00:Now that's actually that's actually been something I've talked about for a while. Man, you yeah, okay, so remember I said I'm gonna come back to a couple of things and I had some questions for you. Yeah. Okay, so Oh god, I'm nervous. Don't be no so like I've enjoyed the hell out of listening to this show. I have really, really loved it. And I think it's either episode one or two where you started naming off a couple of restaurants that I hadn't even thought of in years and years, and one of them was tequilaria. Like when that name, when that when that name came out, like I was racking my brain really fast.
SPEAKER_01:I was going, where I was in that particular location uh before it was tequilaria as well. No shit. Yeah, that was the old vintage Texas I remember vintage, Texas. Yes, and then I was also at the end of Terminal E, down past E Bar City, yeah, yeah, buddy.
SPEAKER_00:Okay, so uh when you said the name tequilaria, like I was racking my brain being like, I know that name, where the hell was it? And then it occurred to me. It it occurred to me, I was like, dude, I used to go having a beer and a shot there like every day after I got off work because my boy Damien was a bartender there. You know Damien? I uh uh I didn't work with him, but yeah. Dude, you know that guy's a pro disc golfer? Huh? He is a pro disc golfer, man. He's a fucking swinging dick disc golf player, man. Wow, yeah. So anyway, here's my question for you.
SPEAKER_01:Shout out Nova.
SPEAKER_00:Uh there was a day that we hired a new guy at the uh I fucking hate Mondays. And uh, I mean, he was just as green as could possibly be. And we fucked with him.
SPEAKER_01:I mean you have him like squeegee and the uh like sharpen the squeegee.
SPEAKER_00:As a matter of fact, that's part of this story. Or did you have him like empty all the hot water out of the coffee? We did get him with the coffee maker. Yeah. Um as a matter of fact, one time uh we sent him in the terminal with a to-go cup and a lid, and we told him he has to walk really, really slowly with the cup over his head facing forward. This is a TSA air quality control check. And you have to put the lid on in front of a TSA agent. Was this kid like 18? Dude, yeah, I'm telling you, he was a child. I was like, of course, we were this is 20 years, this is 20 years ago, dude.
SPEAKER_01:So but yeah, we've got him walking down the down the terminal with a cup over his head that was like, no, you as high as you can, you know, and he's probably walking and we're like, you know, we didn't cross any boundaries back in the late 90s, early 2000s with our light, light hazing.
SPEAKER_00:So anyway, this kid makes it down like three gates and he turns around, and the whole time he's walking, we're like slower, you're going too fast. He finally makes it back to the TSA checkpoint, and we showed him exactly how to cup it or how to how to how to put the lid on the cup, and he puts it down this way, and he flips it over in front of the TSA agent, and he goes, This is for you. Security! The fucking guy looks at him just like, what in the absolute fuck is happening right now? And he goes, This is for your air quality control check. And without missing a beat, I you know, I'm reading lips at this point, but you know, he said something along the lines of, you know, like, I think someone's having some fun with your son, you know, that kind of thing. And they sent him back and he was just like, fuck you guys. So one of the uh I'm getting my question. So there was a day that my boy, his name was John, and uh he sent him down to varsity grill. This is my question for you. Yeah, because this is so your style. We sent him down there to get our squeegee sharpener. And when he came back, he was like, They don't know what you're talking about. And John like chewed his ass and was like, You get your ass back down there, and you go get my fucking squeegee sharpener. And he was gone for like 10 minutes. We were like, What the this is like a two-minute walk. We're like, What the fuck happened to the new guy? And he came back, and I don't honestly, it was so many years ago, I don't remember what it was, but I know there was a broken broom handle and duct tape and a like a like a deck scrubber taped to it, and all that was all manner of disaster, all fucking taped to this fucking broom handle. And we're just like, that is the funniest fucking thing I've ever seen. Because somebody down there bit down on the joke and was like, take that to him.
SPEAKER_03:You know what? He came back a second time. Yeah, I'm not leaving with empty handed.
SPEAKER_01:So I'm curious. That was not me. That was not me. I don't know. Unfortunately, I would have loved to have gotten in on that.
SPEAKER_00:No, we we clocked out that day and went down there to go have a beer because you guys used to close down about 30 minutes after us. Yeah, so every once in a while we'd go down there and have a beer, and we walked in and was just like, who sent the squeegee sharpener down to you know the other store? And everybody was like, we don't know what you're talking about. We're like, fuck, there has to have been a shift change between now and then, you know, like that fucking blows, man.
SPEAKER_01:Sounds like something an old manager of mine named Bert would do. Um yeah. Um I don't know who uh if it wasn't me or him. I don't maybe, maybe Kevin. Could have been Kevin.
SPEAKER_03:That could that could be a Kevin.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. I'll have to follow.
SPEAKER_03:That's called collaboration at its heart.
SPEAKER_00:Dude, I mean, silent collaboration at that point, like we didn't we didn't know who was on the other end, and he didn't know us. He was like, somebody's fucking with a new guy. I got this.
SPEAKER_01:You know, somebody somebody knew the bit. Um, I prior to the show, we were talking, and you said that you had some interesting arrests on dude.
SPEAKER_00:Okay, so this again is gonna be one where I'm asking you a question at the end.
SPEAKER_01:Oh Lord.
SPEAKER_00:All right, let's go. So um working this one. Chris Brown to the stand. Um I'm working at the uh at the other Irish pub. And you remember the layout? You know, the the bar was right up front. And uh me and my bar manager are doing counts. So I'm up in the cabinets, like standing on a stool, and I'm counting everything, and he's jotting everything down. And a guy walks in and he orders, I'll never forget it, it was a Sierra uh Sierra Nevada, pale ale, and a bottle. Okay, and he pays for it, and then he walks right out the door and makes a left and then another left. So now he's going down towards D5, and that's where it dead ends. There's no place to go at that point. And I'm over here reading bottles and calling shit out, and my bar manager I hear him say, Sir, you have to bring the beer back into the bar, it can't go out in the terminal, sir, sir, and by this point I'm off the stool because he's going out to chase him, and I'm like, fuck, man, I w I want to see what happens. Okay, so meeting and uh I'm sorry, I left out a very important piece of information is the fact that he's wearing one of those hiking backpacks, like with a big rig on it, you know, and shit, where it's like over your head with a sleeping bag on it and shit. Yeah, man bum. I honestly I don't remember that part. Anywho, but anyway, this is many years ago, and he makes it just about to where the uh escalator goes up to Skylink. Okay, and we're probably 10 or 20 paces behind him, and we're like, sir, you really need to bring that back into the bar. And he kicks it back and chugs as much as he possibly can. Now bear in mind he's got this rig on his back, so he's like leaning his whole body back because he can't make it. Somebody falls down the damn escalator. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. So think of it. He's like leaning backwards so he can get this beer in, and then he smashes the bottle and takes off fucking running towards D5. And it dead ends. Nowhere to go, but there's no place to go. So we're just like, we're walking slowly after him, just being like, fucking okay, here we go. So they did that piece. And he fucking runs up to the gate agent, they scan his shit, and he fucking takes off running down the jetway. And we're just like, does he think he's just gonna get on the plane and say, you know, safe? You know, like the fuck. So we go over to the gate agent, and you know, they had lunch with us, you know, three times a week. We know these people, they know us. Yeah, and she goes, you know, what what can I do for you, gentlemen? We're like, uh, that guy that just went on the plane right there, you know, he smashed a beer bottle over here, and we just want him to come and clean the mess up. Like, that's it, like, I don't want to clean the shit up. Like, can you go get him for us and have him clean this mess up? And she goes, He broke a beer bottle and she gets on the phone. Yeah. Okay, so this is where it gets really fucking interesting. I like how you took the liability off your own shoulders. What are we talking about? What did I do?
unknown:No.
SPEAKER_01:Nothing and I like it.
SPEAKER_00:So she calls the fucking cops. They show up, they haul his ass off the plane, and the whole time we're standing there just being like, can we have him for a minute so we can clean up this bullshit?
SPEAKER_02:You guys do whatever you need to do with it. Like, yeah, you can't. We just had some janitorial work. Yeah, we just yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_00:You know, dude, I shit you not. I'm gonna stand up for this part because um I'm gonna take this with me. But uh the mic the fucking cop goes from D5 to the wall across from it. And I don't know if he touched something or if he put his badge against something, but the fucking wall opened up. And they walked his ass into the fucking wall.
SPEAKER_03:And you're like, what?
SPEAKER_00:I have, dude, I've been in the fucking airport since 2004. I've never seen anything fucking like it before or since. I have questioned whether or not that actually happened, but I had another person standing next to me when it fucking happened.
SPEAKER_01:Okay, validation is everything, you know.
SPEAKER_00:Like we've both told that fucking story.
SPEAKER_01:Like, what the fuck was that? Where'd they go? Little speakeasy. They got their own little wow, interesting. Uh, you know, it doesn't kind of fire you want to be by it wouldn't be it would not surprise me at the airport. Um, we do live in the future.
SPEAKER_00:Um the past is past, the future is now.
SPEAKER_01:That's exactly where we're going. We don't need roads. Row ads? Row ads. So, Andy, tell us more. I know you got some juicy of the juice. Um, any celebrity encounters?
SPEAKER_00:Oh. 20 years in an international airport, and I've never met a celebrity. It's not one. That's sarcasm in its own. Uh I've waited on a shitload of Dallas Cowboys. Uh I don't know their names because I'm not a football fan, but everybody else was.
SPEAKER_03:Well, you can just tell by everyone else freaking out.
SPEAKER_00:Exactly. Everybody else is losing their shit. Uh but not your not your not your cup of tea. Uh just, you know, I grew up in an Oilers household. I'm from Houston originally, and I don't have a team. So I just I don't give a shit. You I I work every Sunday because everybody else wants the day off during football season, and everybody wants to come in and watch football, so I'll take all the money. You know, there you go. But uh yeah, uh Gary Lettnan from the Dallas Stars came in. Okay, great fucking dude, Hall of Famer, fantastic. Uh let's see. Uh there was a day that when I was in E and one of the servers came over to me and said, uh, dude, I'm pretty sure that uh Billy Howardell from A Perfect Circle is sitting in my section. Oh yeah. And I said his name Dick Richie. Well, he looked like him at the very least. And his name rhymed with server.
SPEAKER_01:The server.
SPEAKER_00:His name rhymed with Dick Richie. Okay. And uh I said, Well, did you ask him? And he goes, No, I'm not gonna be that guy. And how fucking shameless motherfucker I am. I walked over and was like, I did table touches all around him, and then I stopped by and I shook his hand and I said, you know, how are things? Hey, is your name Billy? And he goes, Yeah, and I was like, uh, we need a picture because that's fucking awesome. And you want to talk about like a socially awkward son of a bitch, fucking Billy Howardell from the perfect circle, like fucking weirdo, interesting. Dude on on stage and great songwriter. I fucking love his music, but Jesus Christ, he is awkward as fuck. Um, so there was uh there was another one where uh this fucking I mean smokeshow of a cougar comes in and I'm flirting my ass off with her, and you know, I'm I'm milking the fucking tip. And I don't remember what I said to her. I said, you know, has anybody ever told you that you bear a striking resemblance to and I don't remember what I said, and she goes, No, I don't get that. But you know what I have heard is Linda Carter. For our listeners, Linda Carter was the original Wonder Woman, and she's still to this day a fucking smoke show, and she's in like her fucking 70s.
SPEAKER_01:She was recently well, in the last few years, uh, she was in the uh Supergirl show. Really? Yeah, I know she was in. She reprised uh, well, she didn't really reprise the role Wonder Woman, but uh she was like the president in that really yeah okay. I know she's my son most sons are just super comic book nerds.
SPEAKER_00:Nice, nothing wrong with that. Yeah, anywho. So anyway, she said that, and I I I was just like, I'll be damned, like you really do look like Linda Carter. Jesus, how did I not notice that? And you know, a couple minutes later, she tabs out. I go and run her card and I look, dude, it's fucking Linda Carter. Nice, like Jesus Christ, like I'm a fucking dunce. Wonder woman. So uh the the best celebrity though, the the the country singer, Joe Nichols.
SPEAKER_03:Joe Nichols used to come in all the time. Dude, awesome.
SPEAKER_00:That motherfucker came in and sat down at the bar and was just silent. He didn't say shit to anybody, and then you know, whatever flight it was boarded, and then it's just the two of us. And he goes, I think I'll have a coffee. And I was like, You gonna spike that coffee? And he was like, Yeah, sure. And I was like, Well, you know, Irish coffee. What do you know? What do you what do you want in your Irish coffee? What do you like? In my experience, he's a crown guy, and uh well, no, he he just basically said, you know, just you do you. You know, I got Jameson and Bailey's in it, coffee. I topped it off with whipped cream, I put creme de mint on top of that just to make it pretty, and then I put a fucking cherry on top and handed it to him. And again, I have no idea who I'm talking to. You just have fun. Yeah, I was just like, there's your there's your coffee. Dude, that motherfucker would call me at home. Like he would if I wasn't at work, he would have the bartender who was working call me at home, and then he would take their phone and say, Hey man, fucking miss you, love you, this that and the other, blah, blah, blah, blah. Uh, will you do me a favor and tell the bartender how to make my fucking coffee?
SPEAKER_01:Nice.
SPEAKER_03:And they think you're fucking with them when you start telling them how to make it. Yeah, I'm like, dude, yeah, this is this is not a good cup of coffee. You're not gonna believe it. This is what's in it.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Nice. He used to come in all the time. He's he's great people, man.
SPEAKER_00:I got more Joe Nichols stories than the Bible. You know, that dude, he's good people. He's awesome, man.
SPEAKER_03:He's fun, he's awesome. And then, you know, it's another one I didn't know who he was at first, just like you. And then people mentioned it to me. I was like, I don't know, Joe's just fucking awesome. I was like, oh hey, cool.
SPEAKER_00:So, so the the way that it went down actually was when he came in, uh, you know, everybody fucked off, and it's just the two of us. And he asked me if I like country music. And I was just like, Yeah, you know, I've I've played in a hockey tonk band for a little bit, you know, and I've gigged around the stockyards, and you know, I'm kind of uh, you know, just tooting my horn and saying, if you can pick it, uh pick a bar in the stockyards, I can guarantee you I've played it, you know. Oh, really? Well, I'm playing Billy Bobs next week. Really? Well, who's the headliner? I am. Well, who's the opener? There is no opener. And I'm like, who the fuck are you? I said, if you got anything on YouTube we can look up, and he's like, Yeah.
unknown:A couple.
SPEAKER_00:And he told me to fucking I get on my phone and I type in Sonny and 75 is what he told me to look up. And it says like four million fucking views. And I was like, What'd you say your name once? The fuck? Joey. Yeah. Nah, he's a fucking sweetheart. I love that. He's awesome, man.
SPEAKER_02:He's good, people.
SPEAKER_03:He's coming once, once or twice a week. I'm not familiar with him myself, but sounds like I would see him in the mornings.
SPEAKER_00:Oh, dude, he's a he's a six and a half foot tall beefcake with a jaw that goes on for days.
SPEAKER_03:He's he's a fucking beaut. He's just the nicest guy. Like, he's so cool, man. And he's easy. He's cool. Shout out Joe.
SPEAKER_00:So as far as uh can we shift gears and go to debauchery? Yeah, please do. This one, that's what's fucking classic. All right. It's when I'm working in Terminal Lee, and uh there was this fucking broad sitting at the bar. And uh when I say she was slutty enough, I mean slutty enough to be a good time, but you don't want to, you know what I mean? Like it's it's it's iffy at best. Anyways, she ends up uh asking the other bartender for a you know, slip of paper, and she writes her number down about a dozen times and then rips it into the shreds, and she says, and the place was fucking packed. I mean, we had a line out the fucking door, and uh she hands all these little slips of paper to the other bartender, and and she says, Hey, walk around here and find all the cute guys and just hand them a number and see what happens. Well, this goes exactly how you thought it was gonna go. All of a sudden her phone starts going apeshit, and she stands up and walks to the door and stood there, and sure enough, another guy fucking met her there. And since, you know, on this podcast, you have to have a family bathroom story. Oh since the dawn of times, yeah. You in the upstairs bar over at the the pizza and wine bar. Oh, yeah, dude. Fuck. I walked in on like there were a couple of couples that I walked in on there. They just didn't even bother to lock the door, like either open it up, they're busy.
SPEAKER_01:Wow.
SPEAKER_00:And everyone screams, and I slam the door and act like I didn't see anything. It happened all the fucking time. Back to the bar. I was just coming in here to vape. Like, what the fuck?
SPEAKER_02:Smells like blueberries and sex in here.
SPEAKER_01:Oh Andy. Sir. I you know, I I knew there was a reason Spencer sent you to us. Um, I want to give a special shout out to our boys uh Spencer and Dick Ritchie uh for hooking us up with you, Andy.
SPEAKER_00:Um it's been an absolute pleasure, and I mean that wholeheartedly, man. Like I I love the show. I love listening to it. Like I said, my my kid listens to it with me. And we skip around. You and your potty mouth. We skip around to the other bit, you know, muffs.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, your muffs. My nine-year-old will not be listening. My 24-year-old eats this up with the spoon. But um, Andy, man, it's been a pleasure having you on here today. I do have to give another special shout out. We are coming to you live from no adult supervision land as named by Dick Ritchie.
SPEAKER_00:Unsupervised baby. Chris had to write that down.
SPEAKER_01:Yes, I did. I read that off a sheet of paper. Um again, Andy, thank you so much for coming on the show. Um, episode 23. Again, wow. Um this has been a blast. Thank you for having me. And we will have you back as uh as soon as we get this YouTube thing going. We're on the verge. I'd love nothing more, man. Um guys, that's it for episode 23. Tales from an airport bar. You guys, thank you so much for checking it out again. And um, you know, donations to the show are welcome. Guys, we're out. Peace.
