A story about a snake and a credit card with Belinda Murrell

Belinda Murrell joins us as we all share our stories about animals.

If you want to find out more about Belinda (or Dame B as we know her) you can check out her website... belindamurrell.com.au

Please review, rate, subscribe, follow and like the show. Your support will help us keep this podcast going.

Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic
Weekly, 5-min. podcast for kids about making and keeping friends.

Listen on: Apple Podcasts   Spotify

To find out more about R.A. Spratt visit raspratt.com
To find out more about Jacqueline Harvey visit jacquelineharvey.com.au
To find out more about Tim Harris visit timharrisbooks.com

Transcript

00:00:03 SPK_1
Hello and welcome to real stories with random writers.

00:00:05 SPK_1
I'm Ra Sprat and I'm here with Jacqueline Harvey and Tim Harris.

00:00:09 SPK_1
And today our special guest star is Belinda Morell.

00:00:13 SPK_1
Yay.

00:00:15 SPK_1
Belinda is the author of the Sunsword trilogy, the Lulu Bell series, the time slip series, Pippa's Island Aussie kids, and her new series, the Daredevil Princess, which looks totally awesome.

00:00:26 SPK_1
If you want to find out more about Belinda, you can go to her website, belindamorel.com.

00:00:30 SPK_1
Dot au.

00:00:31 SPK_1
Now, we're all authors, which means we're professional storytellers.

00:00:34 SPK_1
We are each going to tell you a tale.

00:00:36 SPK_1
So let's get into it.

00:00:37 SPK_1
The theme for today's episode is animals.

00:00:41 SPK_1
Oh, and I'm first.

00:00:45 SPK_1
It feels very weird introducing myself.

00:00:47 SPK_1
Well, I'm going to go first today.

00:00:49 SPK_1
So my story is all about my dog, Henry.

00:00:52 SPK_1
And you've actually all met my dog, haven't you, Henry?

00:00:55 SPK_1
He is the sweetest boy in the world.

00:00:56 SPK_1
He's eight years old now.

00:00:58 SPK_1
So I came to get him.

00:00:59 SPK_1
It was sort of a very weird thing.

00:01:00 SPK_1
Like when I was coming up to being 40, never, ever owned a dog.

00:01:05 SPK_1
I'd always had cats.

00:01:05 SPK_1
I'd had a cat that lived for 20 years and then another cat that sadly only lived for five years.

00:01:09 SPK_1
But my whole life I'd had cats and I was coming up on 40 and at the gym, everyone had dogs and they were going to know how much they loved their dogs.

00:01:16 SPK_1
And I thought, I don't want to live my whole life without owning a dog.

00:01:20 SPK_1
So I went to my husband, I said, you know, I'm nearly 40.

00:01:23 SPK_1
I want to have owned a dog by the time I'm 40.

00:01:25 SPK_1
And he's like, no, dogs are hard work.

00:01:28 SPK_1
They poo everywhere.

00:01:29 SPK_1
We've got busy lives.

00:01:30 SPK_1
Get a cat.

00:01:30 SPK_1
And I'm like, I've actually developed an allergy to cats.

00:01:33 SPK_1
I can't have a cat again.

00:01:34 SPK_1
He's like, no, no, no, dog's a bad idea.

00:01:36 SPK_1
I'm like, well, I really want to do it and it's, you know, it's my life, so I think I am going to do it.

00:01:41 SPK_1
So how about you just think about it for six months?

00:01:42 SPK_1
And he's like, yeah, whatever.

00:01:44 SPK_1
So six months later, I come back and he's like, well, you know, have you thought about it?

00:01:46 SPK_1
Have you, have you come to terms with the idea of the fact that I might buy a dog?

00:01:49 SPK_1
And he's like, no, we shouldn't get a dog.

00:01:50 SPK_1
It's a terrible idea.

00:01:51 SPK_1
We've got kids.

00:01:52 SPK_1
That's bad enough.

00:01:53 SPK_1
I'm like, okay, fine.

00:01:54 SPK_1
So I waited till he went on a business trip to Sydney and I bought a dog.

00:02:00 SPK_1
I'd actually been on a waiting list for six months to get a caboodle.

00:02:03 SPK_1
So I got the dog and we love him so much.

00:02:06 SPK_1
He's such a sweet dog.

00:02:07 SPK_1
And my husband actually admitted later on, because he loves him more than any of us is like, of course, yeah.

00:02:12 SPK_1
Is it the best decision you've ever made in your entire life?

00:02:15 SPK_1
So anyway, we got the dog the kids love because the kids had gone off to school.

00:02:18 SPK_1
So I got the dog when my youngest one turned five.

00:02:20 SPK_1
So we were all loving having a dog.

00:02:22 SPK_1
It brings so much joy to my life.

00:02:25 SPK_1
And the kids, they like, they're at that age when, you know, they were five and eight, they still want you to do things with them every weekend.

00:02:32 SPK_1
Now they're teenagers, they don't want to have anything to do with me.

00:02:34 SPK_1
But back then they did.

00:02:35 SPK_1
And so you try to come up with activities and one Sunday they were bored.

00:02:38 SPK_1
And when I was a kid, I really liked fishing.

00:02:41 SPK_1
We used to go fishing at the beach every Friday after school.

00:02:44 SPK_1
And we'd been out walking the dog the day before, walking the puppy.

00:02:48 SPK_1
It was so much fun.

00:02:49 SPK_1
And we'd seen these fishermen and they'd been fishing in the creek and they'd caught this huge carp, like half a metre long, bright yellow, really brightly coloured carp.

00:02:58 SPK_1
And I'd been talking to them and I said, what do you use for bait to get carp?

00:03:02 SPK_1
And they said, just a sweet corn kernel.

00:03:04 SPK_1
And I thought, oh, that's great because if you've been fishing, you know, the worst thing is your hands stink of bait.

00:03:09 SPK_1
And I thought that'd be great.

00:03:10 SPK_1
You just get a can of corn, put a bit of corn on and it's like, you don't stink and you probably won't catch anything.

00:03:15 SPK_1
It'll be perfect.

00:03:16 SPK_1
And I said, girls, you want to go fishing tomorrow?

00:03:19 SPK_1
We'll take the dog for a walk to the creek and, you know, it'll be nice.

00:03:21 SPK_1
They're like, yeah, we'll go fishing.

00:03:23 SPK_1
So I get some fishing gear and I get snacks, you know, we got chips and mentos because we had to walk like a kilometre and a half from the car park to get to the fishing spot.

00:03:33 SPK_1
And we take the dog, this beautiful little, you know, like two month old puppy who's bounded everywhere in the grass and everything's a joy to him.

00:03:39 SPK_1
And so we go down and I teach them how to fish.

00:03:41 SPK_1
We put the sweet corn on the hook.

00:03:43 SPK_1
And we get ready.

00:03:44 SPK_2
I love to get on the hook.

00:03:45 SPK_3
It would be quite hard.

00:03:46 SPK_1
It's way easier than a worm.

00:03:50 SPK_1
It doesn't wiggle in your fingers.

00:03:52 SPK_1
So we get it all on there.

00:03:53 SPK_1
And then, like, we cast the line in and everything.

00:03:56 SPK_1
And the puppy's running around.

00:03:58 SPK_1
And then all of a sudden the puppy gets caught in the fishing line and he panics.

00:04:05 SPK_1
Like he's just got a bit wrapped around his leg.

00:04:07 SPK_1
The hook is in the water, but he panics.

00:04:10 SPK_1
And he's not a trained dog like my dog now is trained.

00:04:12 SPK_1
If I say, Henry, come here, he'll come here.

00:04:15 SPK_1
At this stage, he was not trained, so he panics.

00:04:17 SPK_1
He's tangled in something.

00:04:18 SPK_1
So what does he do?

00:04:19 SPK_1
He runs away in fear.

00:04:21 SPK_1
And so he starts running and the line starts.

00:04:24 SPK_1
Goes wh.

00:04:25 SPK_1
And you just think when he stops, what's gonna.

00:04:28 SPK_1
The stop is when he gets to the hook.

00:04:30 SPK_1
So we're like, stop.

00:04:32 SPK_1
And I stop and you hear it go, whiz, whiz, whiz.

00:04:34 SPK_1
I'm like, what can you do?

00:04:35 SPK_1
There's a hook on the end.

00:04:36 SPK_1
You don't wanna, like, catch it, but it's like.

00:04:38 SPK_1
So there's this, like, whiz.

00:04:39 SPK_1
And then arrow.

00:04:41 SPK_1
And we catch the dog, which isn't hard now.

00:04:43 SPK_1
Cause he's attached to the fishing line and we get to him, the hook has gone right through.

00:04:48 SPK_1
I don't know if we can say this because we want this to be pg.

00:04:51 SPK_1
The most delicate region of a male anatomy.

00:04:54 SPK_3
His nether regions.

00:04:55 SPK_1
Yes, his.

00:04:56 SPK_1
Well, let's just say it.

00:04:57 SPK_1
His scrotum.

00:05:01 SPK_1
Oh.

00:05:02 SPK_1
It was just all.

00:05:02 SPK_1
The dog's like, ah.

00:05:04 SPK_1
And the girl's like, and my youngest one, it was her fishing line, so she's blaming us.

00:05:09 SPK_1
I was like, ah.

00:05:10 SPK_1
And it's like this, like.

00:05:11 SPK_1
And the line is, like, unravelled all around the countryside.

00:05:14 SPK_1
It's still attached to the dog and it's like.

00:05:16 SPK_1
So I've got the dog and I'm holding him so he doesn't take off running again.

00:05:19 SPK_1
Mercifully, I figure out how to cut the line.

00:05:21 SPK_1
So it's just like the fish hook is still in.

00:05:23 SPK_1
There's a bit of line dangling.

00:05:24 SPK_1
I'm like, pack up everything.

00:05:26 SPK_1
We gotta get out of here.

00:05:27 SPK_1
But it's 04:00 on a Sunday afternoon, you know, and we've gotta walk a kilometre and a half back to the car.

00:05:32 SPK_1
I've got this dog that I've gotta carry.

00:05:34 SPK_1
A five year old just weeping.

00:05:37 SPK_1
The eight year old's carrying all the stuff.

00:05:39 SPK_1
So we walk back, it starts to rain.

00:05:41 SPK_1
We get back to the car.

00:05:42 SPK_1
What do we do?

00:05:43 SPK_1
We drive to the vet.

00:05:44 SPK_1
The vet's closed.

00:05:46 SPK_1
So I had a friend who was a nurse, so I said, let's go.

00:05:48 SPK_1
She might, you know, have equipment.

00:05:50 SPK_1
She might be able to get this fish hook out.

00:05:51 SPK_1
We go there, and as you can imagine, the dog does not want anyone yanking this fish hook out because there's a barb specifically to prevent this happening.

00:06:00 SPK_1
So I ring the vet and after hours, and it's like, okay, we need the vet to come in and you know how much it's going to cost?

00:06:07 SPK_1
Sunday afternoon, it's after hours.

00:06:09 SPK_1
And so we take him, and I go see the vet, and he sees it.

00:06:12 SPK_1
It's like, oh, you know, it's gonna be surgery.

00:06:14 SPK_1
It's gonna be general anaesthetic.

00:06:16 SPK_1
And I'm like, look, he was gonna be de sexed in two weeks anyway.

00:06:19 SPK_1
Why not just, like, lop him off?

00:06:21 SPK_3
And he's like.

00:06:22 SPK_1
And he looked at me with so much judgement in his eyes, and he's like, we don't do it that way here.

00:06:31 SPK_1
So anyway, he was sorted out.

00:06:33 SPK_1
It was okay.

00:06:34 SPK_1
But if you ask my youngest one now, she was so traumatised about you ask her about that day when we went fishing and all we caught was our own dog.

00:06:42 SPK_1
And you say, what do you remember about that day?

00:06:44 SPK_1
And she'll say, we had chocolate cake at the nurse's house.

00:06:48 SPK_1
That's all she can remember.

00:06:50 SPK_4
She's blocked the rest out.

00:06:51 SPK_1
Everything else has been blocked.

00:06:53 SPK_1
So that's my animal story.

00:06:54 SPK_3
Did you think to actually cut the line when he was running?

00:06:57 SPK_1
But we didn't have scissors.

00:06:58 SPK_1
I, like, improvised something to cut it later.

00:07:01 SPK_1
No, like, I didn't anticipate this would happen.

00:07:03 SPK_3
No, no, I would never either, you know, because I'm someone who's been fishing since I was, you know, knee high to a grasshopper.

00:07:09 SPK_1
So you're used to this happening every week at your house.

00:07:11 SPK_3
And the one thing that I'm terrified of is getting a big barbed hook through any part of my anatomy.

00:07:17 SPK_3
And that whole idea of, you know, you're talking about how it's got the barb on it.

00:07:20 SPK_1
You're supposed to push it through.

00:07:21 SPK_3
You're supposed to push it through.

00:07:23 SPK_3
And when I was a kid, we went.

00:07:25 SPK_3
We were fishing with some family friends, and they had three very unruly boys who, you know, never watch what they were doing, would, you know, just like, literally hoist the, you know, hook the fishing rod out.

00:07:36 SPK_3
And one of them caught the other one through the ear and it was like.

00:07:43 SPK_3
It was an ear piercing.

00:07:44 SPK_3
Unanticipated ear piercing.

00:07:46 SPK_1
Oh, that's so good.

00:07:48 SPK_3
That was horrible.

00:07:48 SPK_3
But, yeah, I always like, you see.

00:07:50 SPK_1
People walking past fishermen on the beach and you think, oh my goodness.

00:07:53 SPK_1
And they're probably drunk too, so like the faith to walk past a fisherman as they're casting.

00:07:59 SPK_3
Yeah.

00:07:59 SPK_3
I was recently on a boat 20 kilometres offshore off the coast of a place called Riverton in the very south of New Zealand.

00:08:07 SPK_3
And there was about a three metre swell running and it was quite.

00:08:10 SPK_3
It was quite rough and there was four of us casting lines.

00:08:13 SPK_3
And believe me, I was so nervous about somebody ending up with a hook through their ear, their nose.

00:08:20 SPK_1
Yeah.

00:08:20 SPK_1
You almost want to be wearing a headband around your ears to hold them up, like the football players have to take the rugby players.

00:08:26 SPK_3
So you ended up a hook through the ear.

00:08:28 SPK_3
But anyway, it was worth it for the 24 blue cod that we caught in two weeks.

00:08:34 SPK_1
Nice.

00:08:34 SPK_1
You got your brag in there.

00:08:35 SPK_3
Yeah, it was excellent fishing.

00:08:38 SPK_2
The only person I want to walk past when they're casting is a film director.

00:08:42 SPK_1
Oh, nice.

00:08:46 SPK_1
Daisy got a rim shot here on this.

00:08:48 SPK_1
I'll insert it for you.

00:08:50 SPK_3
Oh, it didn't work.

00:08:54 SPK_1
Tim, do you have an animal story for us?

00:08:56 SPK_2
I know they say you should never work with children and animals.

00:08:59 SPK_3
Yes.

00:08:59 SPK_2
Well, then you put the two together.

00:09:02 SPK_2
Interesting thing happened and I remember as a teacher I'd always encourage show and tell and the kids are bringing some interesting things.

00:09:09 SPK_2
One of my students brought in this lovely oriental style bowl and said, my.

00:09:13 SPK_1
Mum got this when she was in King Kong.

00:09:18 SPK_2
And anyway, one, one day a boy brought a snake in and that was, that was a pre warning.

00:09:23 SPK_2
That was.

00:09:23 SPK_2
That was pretty cool.

00:09:24 SPK_2
Had this snake in the classroom.

00:09:26 SPK_2
But then one afternoon one of my students sort of disappeared to car lines and then there was a knock on the door.

00:09:32 SPK_2
I said, oh, good day, noah.

00:09:33 SPK_2
And he said, mister Harris, I've got some lions in my car.

00:09:37 SPK_2
And I said, good one.

00:09:39 SPK_2
See ya.

00:09:39 SPK_2
Have a good afternoon, Noah.

00:09:40 SPK_2
And he just stay there.

00:09:42 SPK_2
And he looked at me, he said, no, I've got some lines in my car.

00:09:47 SPK_2
And I said, you're joking, aren't you?

00:09:48 SPK_2
He said, no, I really do.

00:09:49 SPK_2
I've got some lion.

00:09:50 SPK_2
Come and see them.

00:09:51 SPK_2
I don't want you to see them.

00:09:52 SPK_2
And so he takes me to car lines and they open up the boot and there's these two lion cubs.

00:10:01 SPK_1
And he was an animal poacher.

00:10:04 SPK_1
I had stolen them from the zoo.

00:10:06 SPK_3
Haven't seen the headlines for it yet.

00:10:08 SPK_2
And so his dad was working for the zoo, and so they were, you know, hand rearing these.

00:10:13 SPK_2
These lines.

00:10:14 SPK_2
Absolutely crazy.

00:10:15 SPK_2
But the worst animal story for teaching, for me was actually during PraC.

00:10:19 SPK_2
And so when you do prac, it's the worst.

00:10:23 SPK_2
When you're doing prac is when your university lecturer comes and sits in.

00:10:27 SPK_1
Because that's the day.

00:10:28 SPK_3
The kids supervision day, where they come and watch you.

00:10:31 SPK_3
Yes.

00:10:31 SPK_1
Because that's the day that the kids start the knife fight.

00:10:34 SPK_3
Yes.

00:10:35 SPK_2
I think this particular school was a pretty rough.

00:10:37 SPK_2
I wouldn't be surprised.

00:10:38 SPK_2
And so.

00:10:40 SPK_2
And also, it was year three.

00:10:42 SPK_2
Like a nice age, but with year three, if you kind of.

00:10:45 SPK_2
If you let them go a little bit, they're very, very difficult to bring back.

00:10:49 SPK_2
Anyway, I'm sitting at the edge of the room waiting for the regular class teacher to sort of introduce and hand over, and the university lecturer's there next to me.

00:10:57 SPK_2
She's kind of nudging me.

00:10:58 SPK_2
Good luck, Tim.

00:10:59 SPK_2
This is all.

00:11:00 SPK_2
I think she could tell I was a bit nervous.

00:11:02 SPK_2
Finally, it's handover time.

00:11:03 SPK_2
So I go and sit down.

00:11:05 SPK_2
I think maybe I was reading a picture book or something, because I remember it was very settled.

00:11:09 SPK_2
I needed them to be settled.

00:11:11 SPK_2
And it was the exact moment my bum touched the chair.

00:11:15 SPK_2
Not one, but two birds just came straight through the classroom door.

00:11:22 SPK_2
One of them hit the window at the other side of the room, knocked itself out, and it just went so straight down.

00:11:29 SPK_2
But the other one started circulating around the room and this class just went ra.

00:11:35 SPK_2
And so these kids are going, absolutely.

00:11:37 SPK_2
Everyone remember looking across at my university lecturer, and all she could do was shrug.

00:11:42 SPK_2
She just shrugs.

00:11:44 SPK_2
Welcome to teaching.

00:11:46 SPK_2
So two short and sweet stories, kids and animals.

00:11:49 SPK_2
Some nice moments and some pretty wild, feathery moments as well.

00:11:53 SPK_3
Birds in the classroom were always really bad, and especially if they're particularly poopy.

00:11:58 SPK_3
And everybody ends, I think, Kate and.

00:12:02 SPK_2
Joel Temple with their bin chicken.

00:12:04 SPK_2
Didn't they go to a school or a bookstore or something?

00:12:07 SPK_2
And there was actually.

00:12:08 SPK_3
There actually was an ibis inside the inside.

00:12:11 SPK_3
I think it was in a school.

00:12:12 SPK_3
I think it was in a classroom.

00:12:13 SPK_3
Yeah.

00:12:15 SPK_4
Oh, that's amazing.

00:12:17 SPK_1
Oh, I've had a bird poop on a kid.

00:12:21 SPK_1
I did an author presentation, you know, and they pay a lot for us to come and do author presentations at this school.

00:12:26 SPK_1
And it was a big deal.

00:12:27 SPK_1
It was book week, and they got me in book week, so that was a big deal.

00:12:30 SPK_1
And I'm talking to, like, 400 kids, school hall, and I'm all primed for it.

00:12:34 SPK_1
It's close to where I grew up, so I thought, this is gonna rock.

00:12:36 SPK_1
I'm gonna be good, and I'm all geared up.

00:12:38 SPK_1
I was, you know, in good form.

00:12:40 SPK_1
And, you know, as soon as you start, that's when they start to mow the lawn outside, of course.

00:12:46 SPK_1
And blower.

00:12:47 SPK_1
They get the blower.

00:12:47 SPK_1
Oh, no.

00:12:48 SPK_1
And the blower.

00:12:49 SPK_1
And the blower.

00:12:50 SPK_1
Not all the blower.

00:12:51 SPK_1
And then some kid will start having a drink.

00:12:52 SPK_1
Trumpet lesson, and they're all looking at you.

00:12:54 SPK_1
All 400 people are.

00:12:55 SPK_1
So, of course this is normal.

00:12:58 SPK_1
So it's sweating, it's noisy, and I'm like, okay, here we go.

00:13:02 SPK_1
Because, like, you got no choice.

00:13:04 SPK_3
There's no.

00:13:04 SPK_1
You can't change the situation, and you just got to make it work.

00:13:07 SPK_1
So it's like, I'm going to make this work.

00:13:08 SPK_1
So I start working it, and I'm telling my stories.

00:13:11 SPK_1
I'm selling everything 100%.

00:13:12 SPK_1
It's like, this is going.

00:13:13 SPK_1
And I get.

00:13:14 SPK_1
And then.

00:13:14 SPK_1
But what I do is I get them really ripped up.

00:13:17 SPK_1
Everyone's all excited, and then I draw them in, and then I start to tell them a story.

00:13:22 SPK_1
So I'm telling them a story, and I've got all 400 eyes on me.

00:13:25 SPK_1
Everyone's quiet.

00:13:26 SPK_1
Everyone's hanging on my everyone.

00:13:28 SPK_1
I'm telling a story.

00:13:29 SPK_1
I'm just getting to the crux of the story.

00:13:31 SPK_1
And then everyone starts screaming.

00:13:35 SPK_1
I'm like, what is going on?

00:13:36 SPK_1
Like, that's the worst possible point in my presentation to do this.

00:13:40 SPK_1
And they're like, the parrots pooped on Cindy.

00:13:46 SPK_1
I'm like, what?

00:13:48 SPK_1
What do you mean a parrot has pooped?

00:13:50 SPK_1
And they're like, at the very back, there's a girl with a little parrot on her shoulder, and they're like, ah.

00:13:55 SPK_1
And the teacher's like, yes.

00:13:58 SPK_1
We thought we'd bring the class parrots to your presentation.

00:14:00 SPK_1
And I'm like, why?

00:14:02 SPK_1
What made you think that was a good idea?

00:14:04 SPK_1
He's like, ha ha.

00:14:05 SPK_1
Because he loves books, and we thought he'd love to hear your author presentation.

00:14:09 SPK_1
And I said, well, maybe someone should take him back to the classroom now.

00:14:13 SPK_1
And they're like, oh, now.

00:14:15 SPK_1
Now he's pooped.

00:14:15 SPK_1
He only poops once a week.

00:14:17 SPK_1
He'll never poop again.

00:14:20 SPK_1
Just keep going.

00:14:20 SPK_1
Just, this is like I'm a DVD that you can just unpause and go.

00:14:25 SPK_1
And I'm like, okay.

00:14:26 SPK_1
I said, I guarantee I will start again.

00:14:29 SPK_1
And at the next worst possible moment, that bird is going to poop again.

00:14:32 SPK_1
He's like, oh, no, no, no.

00:14:33 SPK_1
I promise he won't poop.

00:14:34 SPK_1
It's all fine.

00:14:35 SPK_1
It just adds to the atmosphere.

00:14:36 SPK_1
And I'm like, fine.

00:14:38 SPK_1
So I start going again.

00:14:39 SPK_1
I start going and I get into it.

00:14:41 SPK_1
I draw them, I get all their attention back.

00:14:42 SPK_1
I get them all.

00:14:42 SPK_1
They're all focused on me again.

00:14:44 SPK_1
And then.

00:14:49 SPK_1
And I was so angry.

00:14:50 SPK_1
I was like, right, stopping the presentation.

00:14:52 SPK_1
I get out my phone, I'm gonna take photos of this.

00:14:54 SPK_1
Cause no one will believe me.

00:14:56 SPK_1
Okay, I've totally hijacked your story.

00:14:58 SPK_3
I've actually got no more stress.

00:15:00 SPK_3
I've got a bad story that involves Rachel and I in person.

00:15:04 SPK_3
Perth.

00:15:05 SPK_3
Do you remember we did the Perth Writers festival together and no one turned.

00:15:09 SPK_1
Up to our session.

00:15:10 SPK_1
There were just some high school kids.

00:15:11 SPK_1
No, that's not true.

00:15:13 SPK_3
There were lots of kids coming in.

00:15:14 SPK_1
There were six high school kids.

00:15:16 SPK_3
There were lots of kids.

00:15:17 SPK_3
They just wanted to.

00:15:18 SPK_3
Sitting in the front row and.

00:15:20 SPK_3
No, by this stage, you, me, and Julia Lawrence, there was a lot of kids there.

00:15:24 SPK_3
And we're just about to start.

00:15:26 SPK_3
And this poor girl in the front row, a bird, giant bird.

00:15:31 SPK_3
I reckon it was a bat.

00:15:32 SPK_3
Well, it just.

00:15:33 SPK_3
Well, if it was a bat, she'd never got it off, but she.

00:15:35 SPK_3
She was sitting in the front row and all of a sudden, just splat.

00:15:38 SPK_3
And I saw it happen, and I was like, I've got wet wipes, quick.

00:15:42 SPK_3
And I raced off stage with the wet wipes.

00:15:44 SPK_1
Jackie was into wet wipes and hand sanitizer before, way before.

00:15:49 SPK_3
So I took this poor girl off because all the other kids were about to, you know, erupt with laughter.

00:15:55 SPK_3
And this poor kid, I thought, you know, for some kids, there is no coming back from being pooped in front of, you know, and they weren't all from the same school, they were from all different schools, so.

00:16:03 SPK_1
Yeah.

00:16:03 SPK_1
But luckily, by the end of the session, everyone in that audience, everyone had been pooped on.

00:16:09 SPK_3
Good luck.

00:16:11 SPK_1
So it started off as a stigma, and by the end, it was just a shared experience.

00:16:15 SPK_3
And I did make a comment to the kids that, you know, it's good luck to be.

00:16:21 SPK_1
Now, Belinda, you grew up, your dad was a vet.

00:16:23 SPK_4
He was an animal whisperer, so you.

00:16:27 SPK_1
Must have an animal story for us.

00:16:28 SPK_4
I do.

00:16:29 SPK_4
So I actually grew up living in a vet hospital, so my dad was absolutely passionate in a cage.

00:16:34 SPK_1
In a cage?

00:16:35 SPK_3
Yeah.

00:16:35 SPK_3
She lived out the back.

00:16:40 SPK_1
With, like, a water bottle fixed up outside with a tube that comes in.

00:16:43 SPK_3
Absolutely.

00:16:43 SPK_3
So.

00:16:44 SPK_4
And my dad, he just loved animals, so he was always rescuing them and he's always bringing animals home.

00:16:49 SPK_4
So he'd bring home baby possums, wallabies, lambs, calves, piglets, ducklings, ponies.

00:16:56 SPK_4
Oh, everything.

00:16:57 SPK_4
And, of course, we had lots of cats and dogs.

00:17:00 SPK_1
Did he like his children as much as the animals?

00:17:02 SPK_1
I think so.

00:17:03 SPK_4
But we weren't quite as interesting, I think, except when his children.

00:17:06 SPK_3
We were quieter, actually.

00:17:08 SPK_3
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:17:10 SPK_4
So we.

00:17:11 SPK_4
We had so many great animals.

00:17:12 SPK_4
But my dad always loved snakes.

00:17:14 SPK_4
So when he was at uni, he had this snake, this enormous snake called Oscar, a python.

00:17:19 SPK_4
And dad used to keep him in a glass tank beside his bed.

00:17:23 SPK_4
The only problem was, was that Oscar was a bit of an escape artist.

00:17:27 SPK_4
And so one morning, dad woke up to the sound of screaming.

00:17:32 SPK_4
And he looked over and of course, the glass tank was empty and Oscar had escaped.

00:17:36 SPK_4
So he ran down the college hallways, following the sound of the screaming, burst into his mate's bedroom to find that Oscar had cuddled up to him in the middle of the night, just curled up on his chest.

00:17:48 SPK_1
And.

00:17:48 SPK_4
Anyway, so Oscar was a bit of a character.

00:17:50 SPK_4
My mum used to love wearing Oscar.

00:17:52 SPK_4
Like a little scarf.

00:17:53 SPK_4
Like, she'd walk around with it wrapped around her neck just to be fun.

00:17:57 SPK_4
But my kids grew up on all these stories about all the animals we had.

00:18:00 SPK_4
And my youngest son, locky, loves animals.

00:18:02 SPK_4
And he was always like, mom, it's so boring.

00:18:04 SPK_4
We only have three or four animals.

00:18:06 SPK_4
Like, you know, you only have three animals.

00:18:08 SPK_4
Like, it's just not fair.

00:18:11 SPK_4
And then when he was about eight, he started going, mum, mum, I really want a snake.

00:18:15 SPK_4
And I'd go, no.

00:18:16 SPK_4
And he'd say, mum, mum, please, I really, really want a snake.

00:18:20 SPK_4
And I'd go, no.

00:18:21 SPK_4
And of course, what do you think Locky got for his 14th birthday?

00:18:25 SPK_4
He got a snake, and it was called Sammy the snake.

00:18:28 SPK_4
And so Sammy, we got him when it was a tiny, tiny, tiny little baby, just about the size of my little finger.

00:18:34 SPK_4
And he grew and grew.

00:18:35 SPK_2
What do they eat when they're that small?

00:18:36 SPK_1
Tiny?

00:18:37 SPK_3
Or just.

00:18:38 SPK_4
We start off with tiny little, like, almost like mice embryos.

00:18:41 SPK_4
And then the mice got bigger and bigger.

00:18:43 SPK_4
Little pinks to go in there and then, you know.

00:18:45 SPK_4
And then they gradually got bigger to little baby rats and.

00:18:48 SPK_1
Yes.

00:18:48 SPK_4
So anyway, and then you just.

00:18:50 SPK_4
Lovely.

00:18:51 SPK_4
Or the other thing he.

00:18:52 SPK_4
That snake liked to eat.

00:18:54 SPK_4
I'll tell you this story about my darling locky.

00:18:56 SPK_4
And so one day I'm down in my office and I'm writing a great scene.

00:19:00 SPK_4
So I'm working on my book, and Locky comes home from school.

00:19:03 SPK_4
And he goes, hi, mom.

00:19:04 SPK_4
And I go, hi, Locke.

00:19:05 SPK_4
And I'll be there in a minute.

00:19:07 SPK_4
And I'm typing away.

00:19:08 SPK_4
And then I suddenly hear this little plaintive voice from upstairs, going, Mum.

00:19:12 SPK_4
And I'm going, yeah, I'll be with you soon, Locke.

00:19:13 SPK_4
And I keep typing.

00:19:14 SPK_4
Quick, got to get this scene down.

00:19:15 SPK_4
And then I hear this, Mum.

00:19:17 SPK_4
And then, yeah, I'll be with you soon, Locke.

00:19:19 SPK_3
Keep typing.

00:19:20 SPK_4
And then I hear this, mom.

00:19:24 SPK_4
And I think, oh, I think Locky might actually need me.

00:19:27 SPK_1
You might need to step up and do some parenting.

00:19:30 SPK_4
I might need to parent here.

00:19:31 SPK_4
So I go upstairs to Locky's bedroom, and I see that Locky's got Sammy out of his cage to play with him.

00:19:37 SPK_4
And so Sammy the snake has just taken a little nip on Locky's finger.

00:19:42 SPK_4
And then he swallowed Lakie's finger to the knuckle.

00:19:48 SPK_1
And I'm there going, ah, ah.

00:19:50 SPK_4
And then Loki goes, Mum.

00:19:52 SPK_1
Mum, help.

00:19:54 SPK_1
Don't kill Sammy.

00:19:55 SPK_4
And I'm thinking, break the damn thing's neck.

00:19:59 SPK_4
Break his neck.

00:20:00 SPK_4
And because when a snake.

00:20:02 SPK_3
I love that you're the first person.

00:20:04 SPK_1
We'Re gonna have to bleep on this show.

00:20:06 SPK_3
I'm so sorry.

00:20:07 SPK_3
But that's how I felt.

00:20:08 SPK_1
And then.

00:20:09 SPK_4
So he's got his little fangs stuck in Locky's finger.

00:20:11 SPK_4
And the problem is, if Loki pulled back like that, he'd break the snake's fangs, and then the snake would die because he couldn't eat.

00:20:18 SPK_4
So Loki's being so brave, he's not pulling away and he's going, mum, do something about this.

00:20:24 SPK_4
So, luckily, because I'm an author, when.

00:20:26 SPK_1
You become a mother, everyone knows how.

00:20:28 SPK_3
To take bangles and fingers.

00:20:31 SPK_4
Authors know everything.

00:20:32 SPK_4
Of course they do, because we research everything.

00:20:34 SPK_4
So I knew that what I had to do is run downstairs to my wallet, get my credit cards, come running back upstairs and pull.

00:20:42 SPK_4
Push the snake's little fangs back with my credit card and gently push.

00:20:46 SPK_1
Where did you learn that?

00:20:47 SPK_4
I am just.

00:20:48 SPK_1
Don't you know that?

00:20:49 SPK_1
Seriously, did you just improvise that or.

00:20:51 SPK_4
No, we didn't.

00:20:52 SPK_4
We were parents of a snake owner.

00:20:54 SPK_3
We had to know what we had.

00:20:55 SPK_4
To do in emergencies.

00:20:56 SPK_4
So, anyway, pushed the little snake off Locky's finger.

00:21:00 SPK_3
He had all these little bites in.

00:21:01 SPK_4
His finger and then put him away in his cage.

00:21:04 SPK_4
So.

00:21:05 SPK_4
But Locky used to adore this snake, and Sammy always used to escape, and he'd come, mom, I can't find Sammy anywhere.

00:21:12 SPK_4
Like, I put him down and he's gone.

00:21:14 SPK_4
Cause they're camouflage for the snake.

00:21:17 SPK_4
It was terrifying.

00:21:18 SPK_3
So what happened to Sammy the snake?

00:21:21 SPK_3
Because when I first started coming to.

00:21:22 SPK_1
Your house, there is an aquarium on.

00:21:24 SPK_3
The kitchen, and there used to be Sammy the snake in the aquarium.

00:21:27 SPK_3
And I was, you know, he leaves having the snake in the aquarium.

00:21:30 SPK_3
Not that I'm.

00:21:30 SPK_3
Don't lock it.

00:21:31 SPK_3
Don't let it out, you know, scared of non venomous snakes.

00:21:35 SPK_3
But where is Sammy now?

00:21:36 SPK_4
Well, locky, when he was at uni, moved out, and I said, are you taking Sammy the snake with you?

00:21:41 SPK_4
And he said, oh, no.

00:21:41 SPK_4
I thought I'd just leave him here.

00:21:43 SPK_4
So we looked after Sammy for a little while, and then my very good friend, fellow author Chris Darrell, rang me and she said, my daughter loves Sammy the snake, and we're thinking about getting us and we're going to buy.

00:21:55 SPK_4
And where did you buy your snake from?

00:21:56 SPK_4
I'm going, Chris, come over here.

00:21:59 SPK_4
You can look after Sammy the snake while Locky's away.

00:22:03 SPK_4
So, yes.

00:22:03 SPK_4
So now, Sammy, how long did snakes live for?

00:22:06 SPK_4
Like, years and years.

00:22:07 SPK_4
So we had Sammy for about seven, eight years.

00:22:11 SPK_4
And then.

00:22:12 SPK_4
Yes.

00:22:13 SPK_4
And now he's happily living with Kristen, Darrell and her two beautiful daughters.

00:22:17 SPK_4
And they adore him.

00:22:18 SPK_1
So she'll be writing a book about him soon.

00:22:21 SPK_4
Well, Chris has told me that she's eaten.

00:22:24 SPK_4
He's eaten any of her children lately, you know, I'm not sure.

00:22:29 SPK_1
Oh, that's funny.

00:22:30 SPK_1
Like when you said about knowing what to do with the card, that reminded me, because, like, my kids are a bit older now and I have no.

00:22:35 SPK_1
I have no common sense at all.

00:22:37 SPK_1
And they save me more often than I save them now.

00:22:40 SPK_1
So, yeah, I was.

00:22:42 SPK_1
I was glueing the handle.

00:22:44 SPK_3
Like, I've got.

00:22:45 SPK_1
I love royal memorabilia, like the queen tins, and I love it, ironically, like, I've got the mug that we put our toothbrushes in is a Prince Harry and Meghan wedding souvenir mug.

00:22:59 SPK_1
Anyway, someone broke the handle of my Prince William and Catherine mug.

00:23:02 SPK_1
So I was in my office super glueing the handle back on and I managed to glue all my fingers together.

00:23:09 SPK_1
And my husband was away on tour, so unlike he would be no good.

00:23:13 SPK_1
Anyway, he's not good at anything practical.

00:23:15 SPK_3
So I come downstairs.

00:23:16 SPK_1
I'm like, girls, girls.

00:23:19 SPK_1
Mummy's glued her fingers together, so of course they have to roll around on the floor laughing at me and taking photos of me with all my fingers glued together.

00:23:26 SPK_1
I'm like, google what mummy should do, because Google's fantastic.

00:23:32 SPK_1
So the kids are on their phones, like, how do you get off super glued?

00:23:36 SPK_1
And so we were just trying all these things, things like you're supposed to try.

00:23:40 SPK_1
I remember they got like the cold power, the liquid, but it ended up.

00:23:46 SPK_1
I had like 17 different chemicals on my fingers and.

00:23:49 SPK_1
Yeah, but they did no skin afterwards.

00:23:52 SPK_1
But it's just nice that now with the Internet, they can save me from myself.

00:23:58 SPK_4
It is amazing.

00:23:59 SPK_4
In fact, that's probably where I got the credit card trick from in the first place, was googling what to do.

00:24:03 SPK_4
Snake decides to eat your child.

00:24:06 SPK_3
You know, they're also good for if you get stung by bee, so.

00:24:10 SPK_3
Credit cards?

00:24:11 SPK_3
Oh, yeah.

00:24:11 SPK_3
So I was stung by a bumblebee one day when I was out riding.

00:24:15 SPK_3
I was riding my bike, and I'm highly allergic to regular bees.

00:24:19 SPK_3
Bumblebees, fortunately, don't have a poison sack, but they do have a stinger.

00:24:22 SPK_3
And I had.

00:24:24 SPK_3
I felt this thing hit the side of my face and then crawl under my glasses and I'm like.

00:24:32 SPK_3
And I was out riding with two of my, two of my girlfriends.

00:24:35 SPK_3
Anyway, stopped.

00:24:36 SPK_3
Somehow I managed not to crash my bike.

00:24:38 SPK_3
Stop.

00:24:39 SPK_3
Ripped my sunglasses off, and I'm like, whip the bee away.

00:24:42 SPK_3
But of course, it had stunted just under my eye.

00:24:46 SPK_3
And because I'm so allergic to regular bees, I'm like, slightly panicked.

00:24:50 SPK_3
My epipen is at my house, which is across the way.

00:24:53 SPK_3
I could see my house, but it was quite far.

00:24:56 SPK_3
Anyway, my friend Kathy, who, a nurse, she yells at me, have you got a credit card?

00:25:00 SPK_3
I was like, well, now's not the time to be shopping.

00:25:03 SPK_3
She said, not for that.

00:25:05 SPK_3
Anyway.

00:25:05 SPK_3
She quickly whipped the credit card out and then, like, she got the sting out by just using the credit card to scrape it out.

00:25:11 SPK_3
Yeah.

00:25:11 SPK_1
Wow.

00:25:12 SPK_3
So fortunately, it was all fine.

00:25:14 SPK_1
Oh, that's pretty awesome.

00:25:15 SPK_1
It's funny, they've had all the swimming carnivals in barrel at the pool this week.

00:25:20 SPK_1
And there's a guy who set up a bee farmer apiary, just like, across the creek from this.

00:25:26 SPK_1
So many people are getting stung at this point.

00:25:29 SPK_2
Yeah.

00:25:29 SPK_1
Because, you know, swimming pools, they get in the water.

00:25:31 SPK_1
Yeah.

00:25:31 SPK_3
They can't get in the water.

00:25:32 SPK_1
And then, you know, you're thrashing about.

00:25:33 SPK_2
But there's such love for bees, isn't there, at the moment.

00:25:36 SPK_2
It's almost like, you know, don't mind if you sting once.

00:25:39 SPK_1
Some kids gonna be allergic.

00:25:42 SPK_3
It's gonna go horrible.

00:25:43 SPK_3
I stepped on one.

00:25:45 SPK_3
I've only stepped on one once, and my foot swelled to the size of a rope rugby ball and the skin all went white and all my skin peeled off.

00:25:53 SPK_3
It was absolutely disgusting.

00:25:55 SPK_1
Yeah, you got to post photos of.

00:25:56 SPK_3
That with your credit card before.

00:26:01 SPK_3
We took a lot of photos.

00:26:02 SPK_1
Yeah, that's awesome.

00:26:03 SPK_1
But as a writer, when something like that happens, when, you know, you've got the swimming pool and the carnivals and the apiary that's just set up and then the kids, you just know this is like drama waiting to happen and.

00:26:13 SPK_3
You'Re just like, oh, I can't.

00:26:15 SPK_1
I mean, you don't want something bad to happen to a kid, but you just know that something dramatic is going to happen before the situation resolves itself.

00:26:21 SPK_1
Anyway, so we haven't got to your story yet.

00:26:24 SPK_1
What's your animal story?

00:26:26 SPK_3
I have a lot of animal stories, but I'm going to tell you the story of my cat.

00:26:30 SPK_1
Oh, my gosh.

00:26:32 SPK_1
This could be a whole episode.

00:26:33 SPK_3
I just want to say, I've met.

00:26:34 SPK_1
This cat and it's one of those hard to get cats where it won't admit that it loves you for at.

00:26:39 SPK_3
Least two days, and then he sort of warms up.

00:26:44 SPK_3
So my husband and I, we both love animals, but we didn't want any pets because we were travelling a lot and we were at the time, because.

00:26:52 SPK_1
You'Re dead inside and you don't have joy.

00:26:55 SPK_3
Possibly.

00:26:56 SPK_3
But we were not that keen to have our own pets, so we were quite pleased when quite a few years ago now, about.

00:27:03 SPK_1
Can we just pause for a minute?

00:27:05 SPK_1
Laura is singing to us and it's absolutely fantastic.

00:27:07 SPK_1
But maybe Laura would like a lollipop.

00:27:09 SPK_1
No.

00:27:09 SPK_2
No.

00:27:10 SPK_3
Do you think.

00:27:10 SPK_2
Because we've almost finished.

00:27:12 SPK_2
Do you think you could not sing?

00:27:13 SPK_2
But you can sing to me in the car.

00:27:15 SPK_2
Is that okay?

00:27:16 SPK_1
Would you like a.

00:27:16 SPK_2
Thank you?

00:27:17 SPK_2
Because, see these microphones, Lulu?

00:27:20 SPK_1
You'll get a lollipop if you can.

00:27:22 SPK_2
We've planned a little stop to IJ on the way home because she's been.

00:27:25 SPK_1
Such a chilling, amazing.

00:27:26 SPK_1
They have all the jelly belly stuff there.

00:27:28 SPK_1
You are a lucky duck.

00:27:30 SPK_1
All right, Jackie, you may resume a story.

00:27:33 SPK_3
So, yeah, so about, gosh, it was probably about 2013.

00:27:37 SPK_3
2014, when I'd not long been writing full time.

00:27:41 SPK_3
And so I was home a lot more, obviously, than when I was, you know, going off to work at the school every day.

00:27:46 SPK_3
And one day, this.

00:27:47 SPK_1
What I'm hearing is you did something, you got home detention.

00:27:50 SPK_1
Make it sound good.

00:27:52 SPK_3
Yes.

00:27:52 SPK_3
And this one day, I'm in the kitchen sink and I see this little tabby cat pop over the back wall into our courtyard out the back.

00:28:00 SPK_3
And, you know, to set the seen our apartment was on the second floor out the back, and it was on the ground floor at the front.

00:28:06 SPK_3
So, you know, one of those sloping blocks.

00:28:09 SPK_3
So this cat had.

00:28:10 SPK_3
Had to get up, you know, one floor, essentially, to get where it was.

00:28:14 SPK_3
So this cat pads up the.

00:28:17 SPK_3
The courtyard, and I say to my husband, oh, there's a little cat in the backyard.

00:28:20 SPK_3
And I go outside and give him a little pat, and he has a bit of a purr, and I think nothing of it.

00:28:25 SPK_3
Anyway, the next day he comes back again.

00:28:27 SPK_3
Again.

00:28:27 SPK_3
And, you know, the next day and the next day.

00:28:29 SPK_3
And after a while, I'd leave the doors open to our house because it was, you know, it was summer and warm, and I'd find this cat inside the house and I'd find him, you know, curled up on our bed, or he'd come into the.

00:28:42 SPK_3
Into the study and he would be under my desk when I'd be writing a story.

00:28:46 SPK_3
So we started calling this cat VC visitor cat.

00:28:50 SPK_3
So VC turns up at our place pretty much every day for years and years.

00:28:56 SPK_3
And, you know, we were travelling a lot.

00:28:57 SPK_3
We'd go away for three months.

00:28:58 SPK_3
We'd get back.

00:28:59 SPK_3
I would jokingly say, I wonder if BC will turn up.

00:29:01 SPK_3
He'd be on the doorstep the next day.

00:29:03 SPK_3
So we had no idea who owned him.

00:29:05 SPK_3
We knew that he didn't live in any of the apartments in our complex, so we thought that he must have lived just around, you know, quite close, around the corner or wherever.

00:29:12 SPK_3
So, anyway, in November 2017, after he's got this habit of coming, visiting, and he would always go home if he hadn't left by 06:00.

00:29:21 SPK_3
Come 06:00 it was like the news theme would be the signal, gotta go now.

00:29:26 SPK_3
And he'd pad out to the back, and if the doors were closed, he'd literally tap on the back door to, you know, time to go.

00:29:32 SPK_1
I'm off.

00:29:32 SPK_3
See you later.

00:29:33 SPK_3
See you tomorrow.

00:29:34 SPK_3
And in 2017, in November, he turns up on the doorstep one night, which is really unusual, and he's got a giant rat.

00:29:43 SPK_3
And he had brought me presents before, which were just, you know, like the odd little Tiffany Joyce odd mouse or.

00:29:50 SPK_1
The odd bird or whatever.

00:29:51 SPK_3
And, you know, it was just like a, here, have a bird.

00:29:53 SPK_3
I love you.

00:29:54 SPK_3
But this one was different because he proceeded to eat the rat.

00:29:59 SPK_3
And I got up in the morning and there's a rat tail and there's a little bit of rat guts, because there's something they don't like to eat, and there's a rat head, and I'm like, oh, something's gone wrong.

00:30:07 SPK_3
This cat's really hungry.

00:30:08 SPK_2
My rat bag's character's the same.

00:30:10 SPK_3
SORRY, Tim.

00:30:11 SPK_1
SORRY.

00:30:12 SPK_3
So, anyway, this happens one night and we're a bit concerned, but, you know, think, not too much of it.

00:30:17 SPK_3
It happens again the next night.

00:30:19 SPK_3
And then I said to my husband, I've got to feed him, because, you know, we hadn't been feeding him up to this point because he's not our cat.

00:30:24 SPK_3
Which is my husband's other name for the cat was knock.

00:30:26 SPK_3
Not our cat.

00:30:28 SPK_3
Anyway, so after a few days and I've fed him, and ian says to me, you've got to find out who owns THIS Cat.

00:30:34 SPK_3
You can't steal somebody else's cat.

00:30:36 SPK_3
I said, no, no, I don't want to steal him.

00:30:38 SPK_3
So I took a photograph of him and I made a little flyer and I wrote, you know, is this your cat?

00:30:43 SPK_3
He visits us frequently, but he needs to go home.

00:30:46 SPK_3
The very next morning, a lady rings me and she said, I'm pretty sure I know who owns that cat.

00:30:51 SPK_3
I said, great, I'll bring him home.

00:30:52 SPK_3
Thank you so much for calling.

00:30:54 SPK_3
And she said, well, I'm afraid you can't, because she went to hospital and she died.

00:30:59 SPK_3
And I thought, oh, no.

00:31:00 SPK_3
So, these poor cats.

00:31:01 SPK_3
Now, you know, he's an awful cat.

00:31:04 SPK_3
Mom's died, his human mum's died.

00:31:07 SPK_3
So I thought, what do I do next?

00:31:09 SPK_3
I better take him to the vets and see.

00:31:10 SPK_3
Has he got a microchip.

00:31:11 SPK_3
Is it really this lady's cat?

00:31:13 SPK_2
That's a good idea.

00:31:13 SPK_3
Anyway, so I go up to Kmart, buy myself a $20 cat carrier, bring the cat carrier home, and I put it down and he sniffs around it and he seems okay with it.

00:31:22 SPK_3
And I put him inside and he's fine.

00:31:23 SPK_3
And I take him down to the car and he's all happy as Larry.

00:31:26 SPK_3
And I put him in the car.

00:31:27 SPK_3
That's fine.

00:31:28 SPK_3
And I start the car up.

00:31:31 SPK_3
This is what happens.

00:31:36 SPK_1
I'm thinking, what's going on?

00:31:37 SPK_2
Settle down, Ian.

00:31:38 SPK_1
Settle down.

00:31:39 SPK_1
Settle down.

00:31:41 SPK_3
I drive to the vet, thankfully only a few kilometres away, and he makes that horrible noise the whole way to the vets.

00:31:47 SPK_3
I get to the vets, stop the car, I look at him, and he stops making the horrible noise.

00:31:52 SPK_3
I take him inside and I say to the vet, look, I don't know what he's going to be like.

00:31:55 SPK_3
You might want to put on some beautiful welding gloves, make sure that he's not going to attack you.

00:31:59 SPK_3
As he leaps from the.

00:32:00 SPK_3
From the cage.

00:32:01 SPK_3
We put him into the consulting room, unzip the.

00:32:04 SPK_3
The bag, he pokes his little head up and has a look around and he jumps straight out of the bag onto the scales, which is what the vet expects them to do, to get weighed.

00:32:14 SPK_3
And he just sits there.

00:32:15 SPK_3
I've done this before.

00:32:18 SPK_1
Good to be here.

00:32:19 SPK_3
So anyway, I, you know, eventually she cheques him over and I said, well, you know, he's got.

00:32:24 SPK_3
Has he got a microchip?

00:32:25 SPK_3
Yes.

00:32:25 SPK_3
She scans the microchip.

00:32:27 SPK_3
Okay, what's his name?

00:32:28 SPK_3
We've called him VC for, you know, the best part of five years, I think.

00:32:31 SPK_3
And she chuckled to herself and I said, what are you laughing about?

00:32:33 SPK_3
She said, it's a fancy name.

00:32:35 SPK_3
I said, how fancy can the cat's name be?

00:32:37 SPK_3
She said, it's Balthazar.

00:32:40 SPK_1
Balthazar.

00:32:41 SPK_3
Who calls a cat Balthazar?

00:32:43 SPK_3
How do you do that?

00:32:43 SPK_3
Is that like here?

00:32:44 SPK_3
Balthazar.

00:32:44 SPK_3
Balthazar.

00:32:45 SPK_3
You trip over your tongue trying to say.

00:32:47 SPK_3
So anyway, we laughed and about that.

00:32:49 SPK_3
And, you know, Balthazar is apparently one of the three wise men.

00:32:52 SPK_3
Or a gigantic bottle of champagne, which fits quite well into my husband's world, so he likes his wine collection.

00:32:59 SPK_3
So anyway, I also said to her, well, how old is he?

00:33:01 SPK_3
Because, you know, we're actually building a house somewhere quite far away at the moment.

00:33:06 SPK_3
It's not going to be easy to take him to and from.

00:33:08 SPK_3
And she's.

00:33:09 SPK_3
I wanted to know how old he was for how long we might have him.

00:33:13 SPK_3
And she looked at the.

00:33:15 SPK_3
All the information from the microchip and she said, well, he was born on the 13 march in 2010.

00:33:20 SPK_3
And I looked at her and I said, you cannot be serious.

00:33:23 SPK_3
And she said, why?

00:33:24 SPK_3
And I said, because my birthday is the 13 March.

00:33:27 SPK_3
So anyway, not 2010, but this cat, honestly, for my husband, he used to call him knock, not our cat.

00:33:34 SPK_3
He is the light of Ian's life.

00:33:35 SPK_3
He adores him.

00:33:37 SPK_3
And Bailey has.

00:33:39 SPK_3
Yeah, he's now living offshore.

00:33:41 SPK_3
He lives in our house in New Zealand and he's currently in boarding.

00:33:47 SPK_3
And anyway, we got a report yesterday, an update, and the vet nurse said, oh, and he's so happy.

00:33:53 SPK_3
And I just looked at the photo and thought, no, he's not.

00:33:58 SPK_3
He's very annoyed.

00:34:00 SPK_1
Yeah.

00:34:00 SPK_1
When I went and visited Jackie, her cat, we're just like.

00:34:03 SPK_1
It would see me coming to a room.

00:34:04 SPK_1
It would run and hide behind the couch and then just stick its head.

00:34:06 SPK_1
Head out with one eye and just glare at me.

00:34:10 SPK_3
But he did let you pat him eventually, didn't he?

00:34:12 SPK_1
Oh, I wouldn't have patted him because I'm a little bit.

00:34:14 SPK_1
But I was allowed to stand near him.

00:34:16 SPK_3
And, well, I can tell you the, you know, the boss of the entire company that we write all of our books with, she's not renowned.

00:34:24 SPK_1
She's a giant penguin.

00:34:25 SPK_3
She's not renowned for her love of cats.

00:34:27 SPK_3
In fact, you know, quite the opposite.

00:34:29 SPK_3
Cats are not her thing.

00:34:30 SPK_3
And she came to our place in New Zealand and I have photographic evidence of her actually sitting and patting him and, yeah, I felt very triumphant that Bally had won her over.

00:34:42 SPK_1
Well, as someone with a severe allergy to cats, like, I love cats.

00:34:45 SPK_1
I had a cat as a child, but when my cat passed away, I developed a really, really severe allergy for cats.

00:34:51 SPK_1
As someone with a severe allergy, I know if you do not want a cat to come near you, they are magnetically attracted to you.

00:34:58 SPK_1
They're all over you all the time.

00:35:00 SPK_1
They can just sense that about you.

00:35:02 SPK_3
I'm quite allergic to animal fur and animal dandruff and cats and all the rest of it, but I just live on antihistamines.

00:35:10 SPK_1
You also vacuum your house a lot.

00:35:11 SPK_3
I do vacuum my house a lot.

00:35:14 SPK_3
That's true, yes.

00:35:15 SPK_3
I'm non affectionately in my family.

00:35:18 SPK_3
My dad calls me Dyson.

00:35:22 SPK_3
Dyson.

00:35:24 SPK_1
All right.

00:35:24 SPK_3
Did anybody have anything to add?

00:35:26 SPK_1
Should we wrap it up there and go and have lunch?

00:35:28 SPK_3
I think that sounds like a great idea.

00:35:29 SPK_1
Well, thank you so much.

00:35:31 SPK_1
Thank you, dame B for coming.

00:35:32 SPK_1
Oh, I should say why I call Dame Belinda Dame Belinda because I have writer friends in New Zealand who are dames and I think it's unfair that we're not dames.

00:35:42 SPK_1
So I think that when we get to a certain stage of our career, we should be just become dames.

00:35:47 SPK_1
Yeah.

00:35:47 SPK_1
So I've just started calling Belinda Dame Bee in the hopes that people will actually believe me and that we'll catch on.

00:35:54 SPK_2
So that's why.

00:35:54 SPK_1
So thank you, Dame B for being here today.

00:35:57 SPK_1
If you want to find out more about Belinda, you can go to her website, which is belindamorell.com, dot au and Tim, where can people find out about you?

00:36:05 SPK_2
Timharrisbooks.com and jacqueline.

00:36:07 SPK_3
Jacquelineharvey.com dot au dot.

00:36:09 SPK_1
And I'm at raspret.com.

00:36:11 SPK_1
So thank you very much and until next time.

00:36:13 SPK_1
Goodbye.

00:36:14 SPK_1
Goodbye.

00:36:15 SPK_1
Bye.