Catch up on life, health, boundaries and nearly being 40

We are back! It's been a minute since our last episode, so we catch up with each other on what's been happening, from holidays to surgery and friendships, and reflect on nearly hitting 40, midlife milestones and what we want out of our lives as we head into the next chapter; we explore how hard it can be and the empowerment of setting boundaries and embracing personal growth. We navigate the ups and downs of relationships, body positivity, and the societal pressures of aging, and we celebrate the joy of living authentically. We chat about Christmas traditions, writing for self-expression, and dreams of leaving the silly season behind to hit the beautiful Bali.

Connect with Rose and Chrystal on Instagram for more stories and fun mini-weekly catch-ups.
DM the girls, get involved with the conversations, and feel free to ask questions!
@baringitall_thepodcast
Rose Oates
@roseoates_
Chrystal Russell
@chrystalrussell_

And remember to take care of yourself and each other!

With Love Rose & Chrystal x

Transcript

Rose Oates 0:05

Welcome to Bearing it All with Rose and Crystal.

Chrystal 0:08

Where the conversations get real emotions run raw and nothing is filtered.

Rose Oates 0:13

Buckle up because we're Bearing it All deep, diving into everything from motherhood to mental health and everything in between. We want to get to know you, each other and our bodies and things are going to get spicy. Are you ready for it? Let's do it. Each other and our bodies and things are gonna get spicy.

Chrystal 0:25

Raspassy, are you ready for it? Let's do it. Welcome back to another episode of Bearing it.

Rose Oates 0:35

All with. Rose and Crystal. Do you like my little intro? I know we haven't been back for a while now.

Chrystal 0:42

I'm feeling a bit of dopamine hit from this.

Rose Oates 0:45

I know I came in the studio and it has that certain musty smell and I was a bit like aw. It smells like an old lady's shoe box it does. But I felt like it was like nostalgic. I felt happy, I was like I can't wait to sit down and record and just unwind. And we do most of our like chats pre like potty and we just like download with each other and then we get into the potty. But today we're just downloading with you guys, we're just letting it.

Chrystal 1:07

It's like keeping up with the Kardashians, but like keeping up with Rose and Crystal. Yeah.

Rose Oates 1:11

What have we been doing? Except our life isn't as glamorous, or I?

Chrystal 1:16

don't know about that, I don't have.

Rose Oates 1:17

Well, it's exciting.

Chrystal 1:18

I don't have a private jet, we've all got. Well, you've got 100 kids like Kim, so, yeah, but I actually look after her. That is true, that is true. Well, how long did we actually have off? Because I was trying to think about it and I was like was it four weeks? Maybe it was six weeks.

Rose Oates 1:34

It could have been six weeks now. Yeah, it would have absolutely been six weeks. My surgery was. I think I'm eight weeks out now. No, it might be eight weeks. Seven is longer. Two months, that went so fast.

Chrystal 1:48

It did, so you went away to Bali for two weeks yeah.

Rose Oates 1:50

When did I go?

Chrystal 1:50

I can't remember September, but oh my God, we had a good break.

Rose Oates 1:54

We had a good break. It was good. How was Bali anyway?

Chrystal 2:01

Bali was fun but also exhausting.

Rose Oates 2:05

You took the kids. It was two weeks.

Chrystal 2:07

Yeah, took the kids and you know what, like you would think traveling with kids that are 10 and 13, life would be a breeze, you would think it'd be a bit easier. No way, fuckers.

Rose Oates 2:18

Why.

Chrystal 2:19

Because Natalia whinged the entire time that her feet hurt, she was sweating, she was hot, the flies just in general I don't even know if it was flies, but just bugs in general. Lizard oh my God, there's a lizard. I'm like, yes, babe, they live here. There's so many lizards. She just was annoying, like constantly Bored. You think she just wanted to be on FaceTime with her friends 24-7. I was like we have come to an international country for a holiday and you just want to.

Rose Oates 2:47

FaceTime your friends. Yeah, actually I found like when my girls were there in January, we just had to let them be. They'd go back into the room and they'd get on it like I don't know what their socials are, snapchat, all of that, and they just want to be chatting to their friends and having a real big chill moment on the phones.

Chrystal 3:02

Don't judge me as a parent, though Like there was a few nights where, like we went to dinner just outside the hotel yeah, not far. I left her behind. I was like lock the bedroom lock the hotel door. No, he came, she was by herself and I was like fuck, I better not have a Maddie McCann on my situation happening here. But then I was like fuck, if anyone does steal her, they'll give her back within like less than 24 minutes.

Rose Oates 3:27

You just really needed a break.

Chrystal 3:29

No, and she just wanted to eat room service and be on her phone. So I was like you know what, lock the door and I'll FaceTime you just to double check that you're all good, yeah, but it's like going downstairs. What do I do? I can't drag her.

Rose Oates 3:40

No, they don't want to, and you don't want to eat room service, so stuff that. But it's kind of like hard rock, like you can go downstairs to Jamie's and just eat downstairs.

Chrystal 3:49

So you're not really leaving the vicinity? Yeah, that's right, I wasn't too far away. I was literally like just outside.

Rose Oates 3:54

Yeah. Anyway, haters come at me. I know you know what People judge for everything. I saw some lady like having a go at parents for you know giving their kids cereal, and so I was showing everyone what I got from Costco today.

Chrystal 4:09

And I felt the ginormous box of Cheetos and Milo.

Rose Oates 4:13

I got the huge, two double huge boxes of fucking Milo cereal and then the Cheerios.

Chrystal 4:19

Let's be honest in your household that's going to be gone in like three days.

Rose Oates 4:23

That's my point and I was like you know, they're wanting it for breakfast and they're wanting it for afternoon snacks and sometimes after dinner, and I'm just like, just give the give mamas a break, it's not the worst thing they could eat. No, it's not like they're eating shit 24, seven. Like yes, they have a bit of sugar in their cereal, but they're not eating like crap all fucking day in their cereal. But they're not eating like crap all fucking day.

Chrystal 4:43

Yeah, man, my kids eat Froot Loops Also, come at me.

Rose Oates 4:46

I just I am sick of the judgment. I'm like give us a break, christmas is coming up, let me just give my kids a cereal. As soon as I picked up that box, I feared that when I was showing it on Instagram, someone's going to be like oh my God, look at the shit you give your kids.

Chrystal 5:01

I'm sure it's going to happen, like I'm sure 100%. But who gives a? You know I was like stop judging. But also, like my dear friend over here, both of us are actually celiacs. Like what are the chances, I know, and we're both dickheads because we just like love bread, we love dabbling with a little bit of wheat. But our guts do not like us and, unfortunately for you, you got little bit of wheat. Our guts do not like us and unfortunately for you, you've got a bit of ulcerative colitis.

Rose Oates 5:27

Yeah, so mine is. So I'm celiac. It doesn't mean you have ulcerative colitis. So I've recently found out that I've got ulcerative colitis and I also had a bowel resection.

Chrystal 5:39

But ulcerative colitis can come from eating wheat, right? I'm pretty sure. Don't know, I think you can irritate from eating things that you're not supposed to eat.

Rose Oates 5:49

Yeah, so it's no more dabbling in the wheat area for me, because I've had parts of my bowels cut out. So you went to Bali and we were originally going to go together as families. I was pissed off at you.

Chrystal 6:01

I was like, why do you have to have like a serious surgery?

Rose Oates 6:05

I was pissed off at you. I was like, why do you have to have like a serious surgery? Yeah, I was like. And then I was like getting FOMO because I was like, why do I have to have a serious surgery right now? So I found out probably two months before we were due to like book yeah or leave, and that was it. It was all on because some people were like, oh, why don't you? Because you can go on medication to manage ulcerative colitis. But my bow bowels were damaged like really bad. I was bleeding down there. There was all sorts of stuff going on. And they also found endo, like endometriosis While they were doing surgery, while they were doing surgery. So I was like that's a fucking problem for another day.

Navigating Medical Challenges With Advocacy

Chrystal 6:40

So that's something I'm going to have to do. Did that make you be like oh yeah, that makes sense, or not, really?

Rose Oates 6:46

Well, the thing is because I was already getting so much pain and discomfort with my stomach and my gut issues for so long. I've been suffering with this like on and off for like years, but this last past year like has been intense. You've been struggling. I've been going to the doctor and saying like I'm so tired, I'm not feeling well, my guts is like constantly irritated. Every time I eat I get burning, and it was constantly put down to oh, like you're probably eating wheat or you know you do have four kids, you've got a big family, you work full-time hours, your husband works away, so you know, of course you're tired, babe. So like fobbed off, you know, typical thing. As, like a female and a woman, I think you really do have to advocate for yourself.

Chrystal 7:31

The only issue with this I get annoyed about is like if you had have left this any longer, you could literally have a stoma bag. Yes, yep, that is the scary thing. Like, imagine if you had have left this another year. I don't think I could have.

Rose Oates 7:49

No, if you had left this another year, then what I don't think I could have. No, my surgeon was like if you he goes, I can guarantee you that at least by the end of the year you would have ended up in emergency surgery and you would have ended up in hospital for a month. Shit, that's how bad it could have got, and definitely I could have ended up with an ostomy bag.

Rose Oates 8:00

So even during that surgery, I could have ended up with a temporary stoma and ostomy bag. And the first thing I did when I woke up was stress out because he said look, I'm just letting you know that if I have to, we're going to do it, because we're not, you know, we're going to do it properly. And I was like so I wake up out of like in recovery and I'm like, oh, do I have a poo bag? Do I have a poo bag? And everyone's like the nurses come running over, I think, because I'm like in and out, and they were like no, roseanne, you haven't soiled yourself. And I was like, no, do I have a poo bag? And they're like, oh, a poo bag, oh, an ostomy bag, no, no, we didn't have to do a stoma because you've also got to mark your stoma.

Rose Oates 8:40

Oh right, so you're going for surgery, like because everybody where they see.

Chrystal 8:50

Did they do that? Yeah, I had to, so I'm allowed to mark my own, where you would want.

Rose Oates 8:51

So they're like this is the vicinity, where do you want to stop it? I did not know. You mark it yourself often because if I sit down, like there's certain places that it would be uncomfortable so I put it here because then it would sit flat when I'm sitting like.

Chrystal 9:00

Also, you know how high your pants. Yes, you wear your pants and stuff.

Rose Oates 9:03

I wear my pants, and if I do it any lower I've got like another roll. So I don't want it to tuck into my roll. You know my big I did not know that, that was an option. I didn't know. You got to choose your own stoma. I need to ask my cousin about this, because he's got a stoma bag. Yeah, like did they remove all these?

Chrystal 9:26

I can't remember. I think so. Yeah, I don't know how it works, but anyways, similar situation Severe ulcerative colitis. Like sorry Matt for saying this, but do you know that when you have a stoma bag they sew up your bum hole? I didn't know that.

Rose Oates 9:40

That's when you've got it permanently Permanent.

Chrystal 9:43

Yeah, you have no bum hole.

Rose Oates 9:44

Well, you've got a bum hole.

Chrystal 9:46

There's no hole.

Rose Oates 9:47

But there's no actual hole.

Chrystal 9:48

They stitch it up Like if you moon somebody, imagine that. It's just a perfect little tight. It's just a white nothing.

Rose Oates 9:54

Oh Well, you don't need it.

Chrystal 9:56

I know, but I was like imagine never farting again.

Rose Oates 9:59

Yeah, but you do fart. Your stoma can fart involuntarily, that's the thing he did, say this.

Chrystal 10:03

He said that like the bag farts, like he'll be out on a job site and his bag will just go like imagine.

Rose Oates 10:10

You can't even hold it in. I mean these days, I don't anyway, I know she farts on me, the dirty bitch, but you came up to my leg and you just like.

Chrystal 10:20

You're like my comfort space, Like I could fart on you and not worry yeah.

Rose Oates 10:24

I know you don't worry, I could tell Like it was out. I was like it was wet, but yeah, no, I was not okay with the thought of getting a stoma bag.

Chrystal 10:33

Like I'm quite body positive and like you know, but I was like come on, I've gone through enough. No, like I feel like you know, having that it's a massive life change. Nah, it's a massive life change.

Rose Oates 10:42

Yeah, I wasn't ready for that and also I was just like it's just another fucking thing to worry about and I just don't have time for it Instead of taking nappies out with you, you've got to take one of them.

Chrystal 10:50

little pouches. No, if you soil yourself, you've got to change it, you've got to tip it out. Can't be bothered.

Rose Oates 10:56

But in saying that, I just think you know, push yourself, advocate for yourself. If you're not feeling well, just keep going to the doctors. And if you have to change doctors like I did do it Because everybody it's not that one doctor's stupid. It just means that he might actually think that that's what the problem is, and you just might need a second opinion for someone that's willing to investigate further. And I just think to myself thank fuck that I have come to the bottom of it, because I actually feel so much better. I'm not bleeding anymore. I haven't needed to run to the toilet quite as often now, so you've not shit yourself. I'm not Okay. Let's be honest.

Chrystal 11:39

Did you see that post I sent you yesterday? It was like you know, it's a good day when you haven't shit yourself, I was like something like that. I don't know what it was, I loved it.

Rose Oates 11:46

It was actually pretty good, you're like when you're having a bad day. It was something like when you're having a bad day but you haven't shit yourself, so like it's not that bad, not that bad. So, yeah, no, I haven't shat myself, which on my puppy pads in the back seat.

Chrystal 12:01

Just in case I had to rush home today, I had my Christmas shopping in the boot and I thought do I put all the bags on my arms to go inside just to get the car emptied?

Rose Oates 12:13

or just go inside because it was coming.

Chrystal 12:16

I had the full-blown cramps. I was like, oh, this is going to be power chucking from my arsehole.

Rose Oates 12:19

What did you do? I would have just run in. Yeah, I ran in.

Chrystal 12:22

Yeah, I was going to say leave the bags, leave the bags, I know, but there's something about me that's like oh, just do the one trip, yeah, yeah.

Rose Oates 12:27

I'm lazy, yeah, and you have to take everything in on the one trip? Yeah, I'm a bit like that.

Chrystal 12:31

But I left it.

Rose Oates 12:32

I was like oh, yeah, but that's my like period bloating, like if you've eaten too much, if you've eaten wheat and uracilia, blah, blah, blah, but um, bloating every day and painful bloating. Get it checked out, bitches. Get it checked out, do you know what too, though?

Chrystal 12:57

like this is the thing with me I am bunny hop doctors like a lot, but that's because I become known to doctors as like a hypochondriac. Yeah, because I always think I like you think you're dying. I always think I'm dying, um, so yeah, and that's also a thing, though like. I could actually be dying and then be like you're a hypochondriac yeah, this is why I get annoyed, because people go with lumps to doctors and then they're like no, nothing, it's nothing. That's my fear.

Rose Oates 13:25

Yeah.

Chrystal 13:26

So I remember one day I'm going off topic here, but I went and had a blood test done. I got a phone call and it was like my white or red blood cells were high or low, I can't remember which one. I went to Dr Google I had leukemia. I started calling my family. I've got leukemia. I started calling my family.

Rose Oates 13:46

I've got leukemia.

Chrystal 13:47

You did, I did. I'm going to die. You're convinced? I'm convinced. Dr Google told me that if my white or red blood cells I can't remember whatever it was, it was leading to leukemia. You were having a panic attack. Anyway, I rang my doctor and I was like I need to get in right now. Whatever Went in there and she's like, babe, you've just got an infection. I was like, oh, I don't have leukemia. Yeah, see what I mean? This is why they call me a hypochondriac.

Rose Oates 14:13

Okay fair, fair, fair. This is why Dr Google's not that safe.

Chrystal 14:17

No, and my doctor, who I saw as I started seeing the same doctor for my kids.

Rose Oates 14:22

Yep.

Chrystal 14:23

Every time I went in there, he'd be like why are you in here today, crystal? Did you find a lump or a bump or something? You scraped your leg? This is how he used to talk to me, and he used to just keep saying to me you didn't need to come in. Today, I'm like fuck you, you do need to keep coming in, I know. And so I got annoyed with him and I didn't want to see him anymore.

Rose Oates 14:43

You have to leave. You have to leave him.

Chrystal 14:45

He knows you too well, he knows me too well.

Rose Oates 14:47

Yeah, but you probably were coming in for a lump and a bump and a scratch. I think I was booked in every three days.

Chrystal 14:51

No, I'm joking, I'm joking, I'm joking. I'm not that bad, but I don't know that's come from something, probably my mum always telling me if you do this or do that.

Rose Oates 15:08

Oh my God, Italian mums yeah, 100% If you catch a bus you're going to get raped.

Chrystal 15:13

That's what it was to me. Jesus Christ, I wasn't allowed to catch a bus until I was 17 years old.

Rose Oates 15:18

Oh my God, yeah, I thought I was going to catch a cold. Catch a cold and like that, cold comes into your feet. And Vicks Vaporub apparently solves everything, though.

Chrystal 15:27

Also, oh my God, today's just a tangent. I had like a lump in my neck when I was little.

Rose Oates 15:32

Yes, like a little tiny lump.

Chrystal 15:34

Yes, the doctor told my mum that it was like a fatty cystic gland. Yes, right, don't worry Rose, it'll go away. Every day she felt that lump.

Rose Oates 15:42

Yes, Because she thought every day she felt that lump to see if it was getting bigger.

Chrystal 15:44

It's coming from your mum Every day, paranoia, and then she used to tell people I hope that lump isn't cancer, I hope that lump isn't cancer. So I think she's passed some sort of like genetic thing onto me where, like, I'm concerned all the time that I'm going to get cancer. But my fatty lump did go away.

Rose Oates 15:58

It did go away. It's probably somewhere else. Went away one day. Your mum was paranoid and then like that's where it's come from.

Chrystal 16:08

Yeah, and my nonna used to go stop touching it.

Rose Oates 16:10

You're going to move it around, you're going to pop it. Blah, blah, blah. Anyways, guys, I'm sure you're actually not the only one. But then there's your polar opposite. Me Never goes to the doctor. You're always like I'll be okay. I'll be like I'll be fine, I'll be fine, I'll be fine until I'm not fine. But this year I realised that for me to go to the doctor there's something wrong. Like I don't go, like my history shows me never going.

Chrystal 16:44

But you're also the kind that will be like the doctor will say, hey, you've got this wrong with you and you'll be like oh yeah, cool, I'll sort that out in like two years, yeah yeah, probably, Like I once had a broken toe.

Rose Oates 16:52

I broke my big toe and I think I walked on it for like I don't know months. Two months, Can you fix a broken toe? Yeah, you've got to actually like the big toe. You can. Oh right, because I've broken toes before, but I didn't. Oh, it was hurting, my whole foot was on fire, Like I could barely walk on it. But I just ignore it. But that's my point. Don't be, just be somewhere in the middle, I think.

Chrystal 17:25

I also was roller skating about two years ago and I was trying to show off in front of all my daughter's friends and I was like going backwards, like really cute, yeah, ooh, look at me, I'm Santa do, anyways, don't realise that this woman has fallen over and I go back, flip over the top of her and land on my knee and it's been sore ever since.

Recovery and Angel Numbers

Rose Oates 17:33

Oh no, that's never getting fixed.

Chrystal 17:34

Mate, You're too old now, I haven't gone to the doctor, though it doesn't matter, that's world record. I didn't go to get it checked. You didn't a stack, but it's still sore. If I lean on it, it still hurts Too bad.

Rose Oates 17:43

It's forever now. Knees don't get rid of it. We're too old for that shit, that's true. Speaking of too old, oh my god, I am going to be 40 in Feb. My birthday's coming up right up at my ass.

Chrystal 17:54

And you're actually pissing me right off. Angel numbers we were talking about this today, sorry, I just looked at my phone and yeah, it's 444.

Rose Oates 18:09

I always say that I see 444 and I've seen 222 today.

Chrystal 18:12

I love a good angel number. You do. Why don't you talk about the 222, because it's a new number for you.

Rose Oates 18:17

You normally see the 444. 444 is what? Is it like protection, I think, and isn't it like you're on the right path, or something?

Chrystal 18:25

But you were reading today what the 222 stands for. Oh, what did?

Rose Oates 18:27

222 stand for again. There's obviously someone on here that knows it way better than me, but I will just Google it. I am Googling it. Hold on 222, associated with balance, collaboration, love and harmony. Trust that everything is working out exactly as it's supposed to. Let go and have faith, so okay, that I'm on the right path. Is that what we're saying? So, partnership, balance, harmony all good things. When you see the two in an angel number, it could refer to relationships with another person or finding balance in your own life, for example, adjusting your work-life balance.

Chrystal 19:06

Okay, that's very interesting.

Rose Oates 19:08

Yes, this angel number emphasises the importance of careful consideration. Slow and steady wins the race. Keep working towards your goals and trust that the universe has your back.

Chrystal 19:19

I like that. You probably need a bit of that, because Rosie over here had to have, I'm going to say, life-changing surgery, because that's what it is Like you could have gotten severely ill and you made a decision to get yourself sorted, but in turn with that like any kind of bowel surgery, intestine surgery, whatever you have you have to go on this like diet right, because they don't want you to shit a brick, literally Like they want you to make sure that you're. You've got to go on this like diet right, yeah, because they don't want you to shit a brick, literally Like they want you to make sure that you're You've got to go to the toilet like, well and soft, offened and soft, yeah, you can't rupture any of the stitches down there or you can go septic.

Rose Oates 19:57

And yeah, it was intense. I was nervous about the surgery at first, but then I also didn't think that recovery was going to be that hard. Oh yeah, baby, I really like played it down. I was like I'm going to be fine. I'm literally going to be like, because they tell you you're going to be walking straight away, they get you up day one, yeah. And so I was like, give me a week or two. I even told my management like my instant management was like, look, I need a full week off, but I'll be sweet. I was dead, I think, for two weeks. I really really, I barely got out of bed First week. I don't even know where I was. And then week three, yeah, I was struggling. I was struggling and Craig works FIFO. So Craig left on week three and I was stuck at home with the kids. Don't get me wrong. I had family come over. I had friends come over and just spend a day with me. Excuse me.

Chrystal 20:50

Week three you returned back to the salon too, and I just remember you walking in the door and I almost bowled you over. Yeah, yeah, you did, because I hadn't seen you yet and like be careful, I'm still sore, and I was like, oh, I forgot you gave me the biggest hug you like, came in and like rugby, tacked me.

Rose Oates 21:05

I was like I know, I totally didn't even think I had no energy and I was sore and I was bloated and bleh.

Chrystal 21:11

I just remember you being at the back and you were like, oh my, I'm sore. And I was like, should you be here, right?

Rose Oates 21:16

now I know, but I was at the back, I was doing some, you know, I was on the computer. I felt like that was fine and I was getting very bored at home, like I was staring at four walls 24-7 and I was like I can't take this anymore.

Chrystal 21:27

And she didn't have the energy to rearrange her pantry.

Rose Oates 21:29

No, so I couldn't even take out a drawer Like I would do stuff. If I'm at home, I'll pull out a drawer and reorganise it or I'll find something.

Chrystal 21:40

Whatever to do.

Setting Boundaries

Rose Oates 21:46

Whatever, something, whatever, whatever, just it won't be important. But yeah, and then I think as well, though I think when you have like big things happen in your life, like whether that be, you know, a surgery or even someone passing uh work changes, new, something changes in your life and I think sometimes I don't know if you can agree with this like you see how people show up for you 100%.

Chrystal 22:07

We've already delved into this. Yes, remember like after my dad's death there was many people that I was like see ya.

Rose Oates 22:13

Yeah, for me. I think I'm turning 40 this year and I've gone on about it this year because it's a big milestone and I think I'm not the only one. I think I was the same at 30, but something about turning 40, I feel like it's that real midlife, we're tipping point. This whole year has been about building myself better, getting better within myself mind, body, spirit, sorting my life out, seeing where I wanted to go. I didn't make any big plans to change jobs, things like that but I made plans to be better and be in a good space and build my life up in a better way.

Chrystal 22:54

But even just like, I feel definitely for you, like you're starting to tolerate less shit.

Rose Oates 23:00

Yes, I am a recovering people pleaser very, very much. I was raised like that, though, too. Like don't stir the apple cart, be the good girl, don't cause trouble. Dad always used to say to me and he doesn't say it in a bad way and there's nothing wrong with it he's like be the peacemaker. That was his thing with me. Don't cause, like you know, when someone's fighting, be the peacemaker, be the peacemaker. And as much as it's great to create peace, it also created.

Chrystal 23:29

like Burnout, burnout. I feel like peacemakers get into burnout because they're so like on top of trying to smooth things all over all the time. Yeah, make things happy for everyone and you just get so tired and drained by it.

Rose Oates 23:41

I think the perfect like analogy for it is when you're trying to keep everybody else happy, you make like the only person that you leave out is yourself and the only person that ends up not happy is me.

Rose Oates 23:52

Yeah, and I'm not saying that I wasn't happy, but I was definitely feeling like I was just left out, leaving myself out of the equation. But what I was saying about the surgery, like for me, I felt like I noticed who showed up in my life, who was present, who made time for me and I'm not usually a needy person, but this time, for some reason, it hit different Like you know, who rang up and checked in and who dropped by my house without being asked, or people dropped groceries off or sent food for the kids, and I was like, so grateful, so touched. I cried so many times during the last eight weeks at the beauty of what people have done and like shown me, but also being shocked at the way that some people have acted in the sense of, like, their lack of presence and care factor. Yeah, and I'm like okay, this has made me put a lot of boundaries in place and I'm really proud of myself, but I hate it. I also hate it.

Chrystal 25:01

Yeah, it makes me feel like shit I think both of us like we are both people pleasers and I'm exactly the same boat as you now and I think we've had this discussion like most days yeah, we need to set boundaries.

Rose Oates 25:13

We absolutely do, but it feels shit to set boundaries it does.

Chrystal 25:17

Because not only like, also too, when you put your foot down and you stand strong, people don't like it, yeah.

Rose Oates 25:23

and some people are quite forward in telling you how they don't like it or make it very known that they are not happy with the fact that you're putting in a boundary, that they've never been used to you putting any boundaries in place.

Chrystal 25:38

They've never been used to you saying no or you know, or please don't talk to me like that, or you know I won't tolerate you doing this or whatever, or calling them out or just, you know, pulling yourself away from a situation.

Rose Oates 25:51

So I'm more of a person that when, like I've found myself, I'll just pull myself out. So I don't need to make a fuss, but if I feel like I'm, not, she hits reverse. Yeah, I hit reverse, I'm not, she hits reverse. Yeah, I hit reverse. I'm like no, no more for you. Then I'm not going to do anything else for you because I know that I'm not wanted or appreciated in this space. But that has been massive for me because it hurts me to do that more than people think 100%.

Chrystal 26:16

When you've been a people pleaser like your whole entire life, to then change how you do things, not only is it a shock for you, but it's a massive shock for them, for other people Humongous. I've seen it myself.

Rose Oates 26:28

You do it a lot. When I first owned the business.

Chrystal 26:31

I'm telling you now, I got trampled on. Yeah, I know, Trampled on like a fucking elephant stampede.

Rose Oates 26:37

Because you wanted to keep your staff so happy. You wanted to make it the most beautiful workplace. You wanted to give them everything and make them feel valued, but also still be a nice boss.

Chrystal 26:49

So you are a nice boss, I was getting like I just felt like I was at ultimate burnout 24-7. And now totally different. Like now I've set a lot of boundaries, I'm still trying, like there's still a part of me that's people pleased. I don't think we'll ever get rid of that. Like, I'm still trying, like they're still a part of me that's people pleased?

Rose Oates 27:07

I don't think we'll ever get rid of that like me, and you're still always going to have that, but we're only going to give it to people who deserve it. Yes, yeah, that's where it's at. I think you've like, like I said when the way I was trying to relate it to being 40 is that I don't want to put my energy in people or things that don't deserve my time anymore, because I might only have 40 years to live. If I'm lucky enough to live to 80, I don't want to fucking waste those years. I'm in my final. You know I'm on the other side. Is this midlife crisis? Yeah, I think so. Well, if you live to 80.

Rose Oates 27:34

Well, yeah, it would be 40, right. Well, I don't know how many people are living to 100.

Chrystal 27:37

I mean, that's amazing.

Midlife and Personal Growth

Rose Oates 27:38

So say you're living to an average of 80, 85,. This could be your midlife and I'm thinking what do I want for the next 40 years?

Chrystal 27:47

What do you want? Yeah, do you know I don't?

Rose Oates 27:50

Yeah, I do. I want to live large, larger, larger than life. I want to be myself, I want to be more of myself, I want to travel, I want to enjoy my family, I want to just, I don't know, live authentically has always been my thing, and I do do that quite well, but I think I'm just going to say yes to more of the things that light me up because what I was saying yes, I was saying yes to things and people that were draining me so much, and we've all got those people in our lives that either fill our cup up or drain us, and it's okay.

Rose Oates 28:25

You need a balance of both, but you can't have too many people that are constantly draining you. It's toxic.

Chrystal 28:30

I literally shared something on my story this morning. It said one thing I made peace with in 2024 is that I don't that. I don't have to, I don't have to go beyond. I don't have to go above and beyond for others, I don't always have to be the bigger person, I don't have to fix what I didn't break, I don't have to show up for those who don't show up for me and I definitely don't have to sacrifice my own happiness to please anyone else. It resonated so hard with me.

Rose Oates 29:02

Powerful Mate wow.

Chrystal 29:05

I've just been sharing all the shit on Instagram lately and people are messaging me going you all right, hun. I'm like I'm better than ever.

Rose Oates 29:10

Sometimes it's not about you being not all right, it's the fact that it's those moments where you really like.

Chrystal 29:17

it resonates with me when you read that out.

Rose Oates 29:19

I was like I don't have to fix things that I didn't break. And how often do we do that? Fuck that. I feel like, okay, my girlfriend, Renee, if you're listening, said to me yesterday Rose, I'll say she is not your project to fix. So this person she was talking about was Renee, said to me she is not your project to fix. So true, Like, because obviously your project to fix. So true, Like, because obviously I want to heal, I want to make them feel better. But it's not always my job or anyone's job. Sometimes you can't make someone heal, you can't make someone feel better if they don't want it for themselves.

Chrystal 29:57

But also why is it your problem that she has seen something from the exterior and then feels a certain way about it? That's her problem.

Rose Oates 30:05

Oh I know, I feel like we're talking cryptic moments.

Chrystal 30:08

We are. Yes, but basically I obviously I'm going to read you another one I shared. I was on a sharing stream this morning. Okay, please, this is another one. I think we all need to hear it. I was extremely sad for how someone treated me, but then I remembered how kind I am to people. That's a reflection of me. How people treat me is a projection of their own character and not a reflection of my value. May I always remember that.

Rose Oates 30:36

Sounds like.

Chrystal 30:36

Bible Oof.

Rose Oates 30:38

Oof Bible. But it is so true because the way that people often treat you, or if they say something and spill something nasty at you, it is a projection of how they're feeling and it's not always about you. So I also read something that says take nothing personally, because often if someone's really upset and they're lashing out, it's actually not often about you at all. You're just the person they're taking it out on and it doesn't mean something.

Chrystal 31:09

You've triggered something within them that's like, oh, that hurt a nerve, or yeah.

Rose Oates 31:13

I trigger people every day online because you know people don't like to see me wiggling and jiggling my body. I get it told every day like how, how disgusting it is.

Chrystal 31:22

I still don't get that. I know Like I'm like well, don't watch my stories, then Like, if you don't like, you know.

Rose Oates 31:27

I think it's because we are all we were all brought up in that era like that. You shouldn't if you're big or you've got cellulite.

Chrystal 31:35

Unless you're Cindy Crawford, you shouldn't be showing your body.

Rose Oates 31:44

Yeah, you shouldn't be changed. The world has changed and I think someone messaged me, sent me a beautiful DM yesterday and she was like I'm going through perimenopause and this is how I'm feeling and the weight's really hard to lose and I'm feeling like shit and like my mood's all over the place and I'm trying to get it sorted out. And I was like that's because no one talks about it, we ain't dead after 40. We're just beginning.

Chrystal 32:03

I've changed my Instagram bio to exactly that, Did you not? We're really getting into like our Insta? No for sure. Listen, this is what I wrote on my Insta bio. I put almost 40 and only just getting started. Oh, that's exactly right. Living fiercely, manifesting 1111.

Rose Oates 32:23

Yeah, oh, my God, one day we're going to look back at this shit and cringe like we did for like our Facebook statuses. Yeah, I love it, though it's so good.

Embracing Personal Growth Through Writing

Chrystal 32:32

I just get annoyed that I can only put 150 characters in there Me. I'm like how can I shorten this word so people can still understand what I'm saying?

Rose Oates 32:40

Well, it was me last night because I used to love to write captions, and I only. I haven't written anymore because everything's about reels and photos.

Chrystal 32:48

Who reads captions these days? I?

Rose Oates 32:50

know, but I just had the urge to write and I can never fit a caption in. You know what Is that a caption? That's a caption. That's a whole novel. I love to write.

Chrystal 32:59

I was about to say what series is that a part of? Because that is humongous, I know.

Rose Oates 33:04

But I used to love to write and you can't. I think it's 2,000 characters, but I was like Shit in a caption, in a caption, 2,200. And I had to even shorten this to fit.

Chrystal 33:13

Whoa. Because sometimes Can I have a snippet of that, a snippet of this. What do not an attack? No, what do we want to call this? Not an attack at something?

Rose Oates 33:22

No, no, it's not, absolutely not, it's like a it was me getting For me when, I write, I just get things off my chest. Yeah, that's how I, because that's just me. For me, I have to get it out in words on paper, because sometimes I'm actually better on paper than I am in speaking.

Chrystal 33:40

Except for I can't read your fucking handwriting.

Rose Oates 33:41

Yeah, my handwriting is like a doctor, but I know what it means, if that makes sense, sometimes, sometimes, sometimes, but, like I think, in this post that I wrote yesterday, it was about thanking the woman that I am and who I was.

Chrystal 33:55

Oh God, don't make me cry.

Rose Oates 33:56

I know I was like. To the woman that I was, thank you for learning the hard lessons and pushing through even when it felt impossible. To the woman that I am now, I'm proud of you and how you've shown up, even when it was messy, uncomfortable or full of doubt. And to the woman I'm becoming, I'm excited for everything ahead, because it's never too late to add new chapters to our story or dream up adventures that reshape our lives. So the last few years have changed me in so many ways.

Finding Authenticity Through Self-Acceptance

Rose Oates 34:22

So motherhood, body changes, growth and pain, learning to embrace my beautiful, goofy, messy self, even when it felt like everybody had an opinion Don't get me wrong, they still do. I get told I wish I had your confidence and quietly, I always wish that. I always felt that too. But I realised that confidence doesn't come before the leap. It's built with every step forward, even when you're unsure. So, trust me, I'm unsure a lot, but I always take the leap anyway.

Rose Oates 34:50

I found comfort in discomfort, because staying small and letting fear seep into everything actually feels so much worse. So I'm saying yes to showing up, especially after life changes, and it is hard. But saying no and living with the what-ifs, that's even harder. So I choose to stop being hard on myself and to show up anyway and find a little bit more peace with every day. This small corner of the internet has brought me so much joy but also opened me up to judgment about my life, my body and my decisions.

Rose Oates 35:22

But hate is going to hate, and many people project their own insecurities onto you, and that's on them, not us. So I'll keep showing up with my lumps, my bumps, my messiness, navigating as life as a woman, sharing everyday shit, laughing at myself along the way and maybe helping you see that you are always worthy and that you are normal as fuck along the way too. So here's to embracing change, even when it's daunting, and knowing that being fully yourself is the most courageous thing that you can do. And, as Jewel once said, the best part of being authentic is that there is no image to maintain. You will delight some and disturb others, and none of it will concern the truth of your being. So let's heal for the girl that you were, protect the woman that you are now and fight for the queen that you were created to be Stop.

Chrystal 36:18

I want to cry. Stop. My lip is quivering. I just looked up at that.

Rose Oates 36:25

I'm so proud of you. I love crying. She's dying. My lip is quivering. I just looked up at that. I'm so proud of you. I love you. Actually, it felt nice to read that. I saw your post and I was like yeah, girl, you get it.

Chrystal 36:35

But I didn't actually read the caption because I'm blind and I didn't have my glasses. Do you know why? What I'm so glad I didn't read it? Because that was way more powerful coming from your mouth.

Rose Oates 36:44

Actually, I didn't think I was going to read the whole lot and as I started to read it, it felt really good.

Rose Oates 36:52

That is like a such a, it felt it felt powerful to read it out loud, actually, because the last few years have been some of the hardest years of my life and, yes, I love creating on Instagram and I love sharing what I do and the beautiful community that I've created, because they're just awesome women with dirty fucking gutter minds, beautiful senses of humour but they're also going through the same shit every single day, and it's good. We don't have to show up as anything but ourselves, and we don't all have these glamorous, beautiful lives. We have shit every day. We go to the shops, we deal with our life, we've got family members that we do and don't talk to, and friends and fucking shit that we all go through. So I just that's all I want. Actually, that's what I want moving forward into my life. I just want to fight for the person that I want to be Like. I want to be better every day.

Chrystal 37:47

Do you know how important that is, like as a mom, like everything that you're standing for is actually such like an important role model for you, for your daughters. Like I can't even talk right now. I'm getting really emotional, but like I get so proud of you because, like, imagine having a mom that is doing all of these things that you're doing. Like you're not even my mom and I'm so proud of you.

Rose Oates 38:12

But you know what I mean.

Chrystal 38:13

Like like that's so important, like your girls are going to grow up and be so fierce, like they're going to be, like my mum did this and I can do it yeah.

Rose Oates 38:20

I hope so. They're fierce already.

Chrystal 38:22

Oh, for sure they are.

Rose Oates 38:24

It's hard. It's hard raising teenagers right now, to be honest, and it is hard raising the two little ones together.

Chrystal 38:32

But I don't know, I know I just feel, I feel you're calling to me like. I feel like this is your calling, like. I feel strong right now yeah even though like you've just been well.

Rose Oates 38:41

You were crying yesterday, I was literally crying my eyes out and I have to give a bit of content to what happened. Like so yesterday, um, basically, like I've in my friendship group, like I just found out something that just really upset me and it's hard for me to talk about. You know that someone, something was said behind my back and I feel like you know, and they it had been said in regards to like something that they'd seen on Instagram, so they watched a few stories and made assumptions about my life and my health based on you know the tiny snippets that I might have shared on stories, and I open myself up for that.

Rose Oates 39:22

When you're going to be on Instagram or social media or TikTok, whatever it is, you open yourself up for that and I'm usually quite okay with it. I'm okay with it coming from strangers, yeah, but I think when it comes from friends and people that should know you better, it hurts a lot more. And, yeah, it gutted me. What I like, for example, like I haven't drank for eight weeks and I'm not a big drinker in general hey, I love a tequila.

Chrystal 39:54

Don't get me wrong, but you don't drink on a weekly basis.

Rose Oates 39:56

No.

Chrystal 39:56

You drink like every few months, maybe, maybe, and I might have had like.

Rose Oates 40:00

What have I had like in total over?

Chrystal 40:01

the last couple of times. A few sips of things, not really.

Rose Oates 40:03

I probably had half a glass of champagne at Melbourne Cup.

Chrystal 40:05

Yeah, like you haven't really drunk anything At all.

Rose Oates 40:15

And I could barely eat over. Wasn't drunk at all. That's just me.

Chrystal 40:18

I'm wild when you're yeah, when you live like without caring about what people think of you. Sometimes people think that you're drunk because we're dancing silly, or just having fun like literally just having fun. Yeah, that does not mean that we're high on cocaine and have been drinking alcohol. Oh my God Like why straight away?

Rose Oates 40:38

But that's true.

Chrystal 40:44

Like I'm just saying lately, like me and Rose have gone out and like we weren't aware that Tom, dick and Harry are all on cocaine. I didn't, I didn't realise, I think I'm am I old? It comes out like a fucking jack-in-the-box. Where from, who knows Where'd that?

Rose Oates 40:55

come from and I have look to be honest with you. Both of us we're not, we don't care. Well, you, do whatever you want to do with your body and your life, but I will never touch that.

Chrystal 41:03

No Ever.

Rose Oates 41:03

Me. I'm just. I'm happy having a few drinks, and I'm not really even a drinker for that matter, but that's what I'm saying.

Chrystal 41:11

So you know, fuck, if we dance on a table, we're not high, we're not drunk.

Rose Oates 41:17

Like we're just having fun. It's just us letting ourselves be who we want to be, and just you know.

Chrystal 41:23

I love that about us. But also, on the other side of it, like I laugh, because how many times have we received messages saying like last week I showed you a message from somebody going I want to be friends with you guys and like you guys have the best time together or like just anything like that. It's like you guys can do that with your friends too, you know, yeah, but also this comes back to like you talking about as well. Like your whole life you felt like you dull yourself down for people I have. Yep.

Rose Oates 41:50

Yep, it's awful. I've definitely, I think, being like having created and that's not even my full-time job, by the way, just to put it that way I have come out of. It's been a space where I felt very safe to actually show the real me, which is exactly what you see, pretty much what you get, but I definitely have, I've dulled myself down, so in certain spaces I have dressed differently or not acted completely myself, because I haven't wanted to make other people feel uncomfortable, because I'm a people pleaser.

Chrystal 42:28

But also I don't know about. I'm not speaking for you, but I've also done the same where I'm like, oh, I don't really want to stand out in this crowd, because they look like a crowd that won't feel me.

Rose Oates 42:38

Yeah, yeah, to be honest with you, I agree with reading the room.

Chrystal 42:42

Don't get me wrong. You've got to read the room in every situation. I mean, if everyone's wearing corporate suits, you're not going to dance on a table.

Rose Oates 42:47

Yeah, that's exactly right.

Chrystal 42:49

Maybe not.

Rose Oates 42:50

Maybe Depends Depends if you Get them out of their shell. But yeah, you've got to read the room. But then I think as well you shouldn't always feel like you are dulling yourself down or not being yourself and it's so unhealthy, because I feel like you definitely attract the wrong sort yes, what you put out. So if you're not being yourself, you're going to attract the wrong sort of people in your life.

Chrystal 43:17

That's 100% true. I was just going to read out, like I think, when I put a post up on our thing saying that we were returning, yes, you had shared like a previous clip of us talking about. Like I think it was like don't ever think that you're a burden on anyone, and one of our good friends, lani, sent a message saying I'm forever making myself smaller, not to burden anybody oh.

Chrystal 43:42

I haven't replied to it yet, but like the amount of people that feel that way, yes, so we had a post um, it was after we were talking about your dad's suicides.

Rose Oates 43:52

So we just ended that episode with sort of saying you, you know, don't ever feel like you are a burden on anyone, don't feel like you can't reach out and talk to somebody or just tell even just one person about how you're feeling and I know, sometimes even telling one person is very fucking hard. Oh, yeah, so you know, just find that trusted person, whoever it may be and sometimes it doesn't have to be who you think it is. You might find that your work colleague is the person that you feel like safest talking to, because they don't know everything about you and they're not involved in your personal life. Yeah, so, yeah, we shared that and we were just saying reach out, you're not a burden on anyone and you're definitely not alone, because so many people struggle with mental health in all different spectrums. Like, just because you're suffering with mental health doesn't mean that you're like at the level where you think that you want to maybe end your own life.

Chrystal 44:43

Yeah, that's right.

Rose Oates 44:44

You could be at the side where you're just getting like quite depressed and you're constantly falling in and out of these like really sad moments.

Chrystal 44:52

Like it's a spectrum. I feel like that's me every second week. Yeah, honestly, like one week I'm like, oh my God, doom and gloom.

Rose Oates 44:58

And then next week I'm like butterflies and rainbows, yeah, and I think this is why it is really important to share the fact that even Lani shared that with you or with us from that post. That's actually very powerful for her, even just sharing that. So I don't know like. I think everybody using their voices in some way shape or form in their family, with their friends, whether that be online or wherever, it's really important.

Chrystal 45:27

Too many people stay quiet. That's the issue here. Yeah, but even me too, like sometimes I feel like you know I'll have a shitty day and you know I'll have a conversation with people about how I'm feeling, and it is taken like by them a bit weird, you reckon, yeah, I've had a few conversations recently. I feel like with you always I can be like oh hey, I'm feeling like this, blah, blah, blah. I don't ever feel like I can't talk to you, but there's been a few conversations lately where I've said you know, I feel like I'm in a dark place or whatever, and they get really awkward, like they actually don't really know what to say but the thing is like, all you need to do is just be like that's okay, Like I'm listening to you.

Rose Oates 46:08

It's about listening, I think, more than responding. Yeah, I think they get awkward because they feel like they have to respond with a solution. Yeah, you don't actually need to have a solution when you're listening to somebody going through something.

Chrystal 46:19

Yeah, like it doesn't mean they're asking you professional advice. No, do you know what I mean? They just need somebody to listen to.

Rose Oates 46:23

Yeah, they just need to get it off their chest sometimes. Yeah, yeah, a lot of people are like that, that's what I'm saying.

Chrystal 46:40

So like if somebody scary to you, I think, definitely just be there and not judge at all, and literally just be like you know I'm hearing you. Yeah, that's important.

Rose Oates 46:44

I think that is important. I think there's give and take and I think you know everybody needs to be heard. Just remember, like when was that you?

Chrystal 46:52

Yeah.

Rose Oates 46:53

You know, just two seconds out of your day.

Chrystal 46:55

Yeah.

Christmas Traditions and Travel Dreams

Rose Oates 46:55

And then even just a checkup, Just even a week's time, Just like how have you been feeling since last week? You been okay, you been feeling better, and sometimes they're going to be like actually, yeah, I felt so much better just talking about it, or no, I mean I'm not feeling great, but I am feeling better. Like you know, just check in, Just extra check-in. It doesn't take two seconds In saying that fucking Christmas is coming and the goose is getting fat.

Chrystal 47:21

Oh my god, your Christmas Insta stories have been driving me wild. I love Christmas. You're so damn creative man. I love Christmas, you're creative, yeah, but I'm not building bloody presents, towers and lollipop candy cane things. What the hell?

Rose Oates 47:36

I've never had. My parents weren't big on Christmas, so I became, were they not?

Chrystal 47:41

No.

Rose Oates 47:41

As Italians, no Like Christmas dinner.

Chrystal 47:44

What is Italian Christmas? What's the word again, wogfest or what. No, there's a name. It's like Buon Natale, oh, Buon Natale yeah, buon Natale.

Rose Oates 47:53

Yeah, like Christmas Day was a big deal, like the food, the festivities getting together, but like barely putting up a Christmas tree and presents. We didn't really get many presents at all. So I live out my childhood. My inner childhood is like.

Chrystal 48:06

My inner childhood dreams yes, your front door is your inner childhood dreams. Oh my God.

Rose Oates 48:10

My mum and dad. I still laugh. We once got a helmet for Christmas, each Like a bike helmet. A bike helmet. Did you have a bike? We didn't have a bike.

Chrystal 48:23

That's in case you run into a brick wall.

Rose Oates 48:25

And there's a photo of me. Why, why, and we were so excited.

Chrystal 48:30

So, me and Carl, Was it like a hold on a minute? We were like this I'm so confused. Was it? Here's your helmet this year? I'm so confused. Was it? Here's your helmet this year?

Rose Oates 48:36

I'm getting you a bike next year. I don't know if they couldn't afford the bike or if they were planning on getting the bike and didn't get it. We had a trike like a three-wheel tricycle that was four, seven meters on the floor. Well, you don't really need a helmet for that. Wearing a Christmas photo as happy as pigs in shit, like we were like, with a helmet. With a helmet, we were so excited. What are those old school?

Chrystal 48:57

80 helmets. Yes, the stack hat thing.

Rose Oates 48:58

So I have now wanted to give my kids like this magical experience ever since, and I just love every single thing about it. I receive so much shit for putting my Christmas decorations up and my tree in November, but fuck you all.

Chrystal 49:15

But also I just unpacked my Christmas tree from last year, two days ago, so that's how it feels. Yeah, literally. I pulled the box out and I was like I swear to God, I just taped this bitch up like two days ago.

Rose Oates 49:25

It's come around really quick and I also think what a waste Everyone's like it's not even December. What a waste of my Christmas tree and my fucking time. You know how much time it takes to put that thing up, and also money. How?

Chrystal 49:37

much have you spent on decorations? Because, I tell you, now I spent $74 just today on four baubles, four, I don't know, jesus Christ. Literally it was bed, bath and table. I think it was five, five baubles.

Rose Oates 49:48

No, I've collected mine over the years, so I've collected pieces, collect them, but then stuff breaks and shit disintegrates.

Chrystal 49:56

I can't help myself. I go into the shops and I'm like they're so pretty, they're so beautiful. I'm just going to add that. And then today I'm adding those four things on. I'm like I've got no space on this tree.

Rose Oates 50:04

But like okay, but I put my tree up early, I take it down, fucking like 27th of December. I'm like bye.

Chrystal 50:11

Everything goes back in that box Some.

Rose Oates 50:12

Some people leave it up till January.

Chrystal 50:14

I think that's just as bad. I'm pretty sure I took mine down 26 last year. I could happily do it. I just want my house clean again.

Rose Oates 50:21

Clean free of clutter and before the new year. Some people leave it well into January and I'm like hold on, that's worse. I'd prefer to be festive in November than leave my tree up till.

Chrystal 50:30

January. My mum always used to say you can't start a new year with your trees still on, I agree.

Rose Oates 50:35

My mum always said that, rose, you're 100% on point.

Chrystal 50:37

Yeah, she's like. You can't stand a fresh year still living back in the past, kind of thing. Oh, that was, that's a mum sticker.

Rose Oates 50:43

I like that, like we've been full of quotes and full of deepness today. Yeah, we're feeling ourselves.

Chrystal 50:49

I've gone through all the emotions.

Rose Oates 50:51

But yes, I'm so excited about Christmas this year. I Christmas this year. I really want to go away. I've only just told Crystal today, literally, I was like book, that shit for me.

Chrystal 50:58

I'm coming.

Rose Oates 50:59

I was like I want to leave. So Craig flies in on the 25th of December at lunchtime. I want to be going. I want to be on a plane to Bali by Christmas night for a week.

Chrystal 51:10

That sounds like heaven to me. And this is just Will you pack your tree down that night then? Because? Can you pack your tree down that night then? Because you're going to be taken. Yeah, see, if you're not coming back in Jan, I might have to pack it down.

Rose Oates 51:19

You're going to pack it down, or I'll pack most of the decoration, I'll put all the other house decorations away and maybe the tree I'll just leave. That's fine, but I do not want to be here. Someone said something about Bali today and for me, bali does something to my soul. I know there's plenty of Bali haters out there, but I'm not one of them. No, I go there and I'm like island time. My soul feels soothed. I do the yoga, I do the meditation, I do the cocktails, I do the sun, I do the non-terrorist-y shit. Like I will go on hikes and bushwalk or not bushwalks, but tropical walks and get on a bike. And I just do not want to be here. And I've just decided this today because my big kid said Indy and Scarlett was like if we go away, we don't want anything for Christmas, and I was like done.

Rose Oates 52:06

Oh, wow, that's good. They don't want anything, they would like just get us some travel.

Chrystal 52:10

you know bits and pieces cool soaps and makeup like you know like hip-flossy, All the fun stuff that you get when you're a teenager.

Rose Oates 52:17

So who knows, by the end of the week or the day Can?

Chrystal 52:19

you let me know by tonight what's happening, because I think I'm coming.

Rose Oates 52:23

I don't want to do it. I just can't do a week here. Yeah, I want to be there for New Year's but Craig will fly back early. But I'll stay if I do it.

Chrystal 52:30

How long is between Christmas and New Is? That a week and a half or something, or is it a week?

Rose Oates 52:35

I don't know. Let's have a quick look. I know.

Chrystal 52:37

I was like I'm just going to have a squizzy.

Rose Oates 52:38

Oh my God, I've gotten 50. Yeah, it's literally a week. Yeah, it's a week, so Craig will have to leave earlier.

Chrystal 52:45

That excites me. But look, listen here. Remember we go to Bali in Jan too.

Rose Oates 52:52

That's just another exciting thing that just keeps me going.

Chrystal 52:55

Yeah, and then I'll probably go somewhere for my birthday in March.

Rose Oates 52:58

I have to go on March. Well, why? Because Craig has two and two, so he's FIFO. He goes from two weeks on one week off to two weeks on two weeks off Okay.

Chrystal 53:09

So that might work when he goes in March, do you?

Rose Oates 53:11

know the dates that he's going to, I think. Well, he's like March is two days after your birthday, so he's like calm down. This is what he was telling me today. Okay, I've told him what I want. I already knew that. I've had an inkling of what he was going to get me, anyway, what I think. I think I don't want to say it, but he doesn't do it, I think he's Is he going to listen to this?

Chrystal 53:33

He does listen. No, Does he? Yeah, I think so Sometimes.

Rose Oates 53:35

I think he listens sometimes yeah, he's a beautiful little supporter. I think he's going to get me a ring. Oh, because remember, like what Like an English country ring.

Chrystal 53:45

I hope he doesn't listen, I'm just going to tell him not.

Rose Oates 53:47

Yeah, I think he's going to like.

Chrystal 53:49

Propose again, propose again.

Rose Oates 53:51

I have a feeling, oh my God, I've said it now, I've said it out.

Chrystal 53:56

No, we'll laugh about that, if it doesn't happen.

Rose Oates 53:58

It doesn't, because ever since I was 20, I never got the wedding of my dreams. I'm not saying I didn't have a great wedding. Well, you were up the daft weren't you. No, I already had it. Oh, that's right. And he was a year old at our wedding. All I was elope. I wanted to go to Vegas, elope and get married by a fat Elvis.

Rose Oates 54:19

Like not a skinny Elvis, like the old school fat, big sideburns, sweaty Elvis and just have a little Vegas wedding, have like a little trip around the States and then go home and just be like we're married. But we had a big Italian wedding and it was completely not me. And so ever since then I said when I turn 40, I'm going to get remarried to Craig by Elvis. I'm not saying that that's going to happen, but we are going to get married this year.

Chrystal 54:42

Well, look, you did look at flights and it was ridiculous.

Rose Oates 54:45

The flights to America in next year in September is like 18,000 to take the whole family.

Chrystal 54:49

So we could try and sell your kidney on the black market.

Rose Oates 54:53

I don't think I need both the kidneys, no, just need one, I'll sell mine, you sell yours oh one each, and then we'll go, we'll do, something Done.

Chrystal 55:00

Surely we'd get 18 grand each for each kidney Guys, I'm joking. No, we are Maybe not Maybe not I don't even know where to sell it. Do you put it on Marketplace? Hey guys, kidney for sale.

Rose Oates 55:16

Who bloody knows who bloody knows.

Chrystal 55:18

Yeah, but can you imagine going under?

Rose Oates 55:20

They'd just steal your whole. You wouldn't even wake up.

Chrystal 55:22

Yeah, they'd take your whole intestine. They won't want your intestines. Half of it's missing.

Rose Oates 55:28

That's no good. That's no good. Anyway, we digress, but yeah, I hope you enjoyed catching up with us. We certainly enjoyed catching up with each other.

Chrystal 55:37

We've talked for 55 minutes, pretty much. I know what did we even talk about, guys? I don't know, but I feel like you would have got something from this. Yes, there was a few good bits in there that you could take, but you know, you've got to shift through some of the shit. But you know there's a few good bits in there.

Rose Oates 55:58

Us catching up, but look if there's anyone that you want to hear from in the future. On the potty we have some beautiful guests lined up that will be in the next couple of weeks as well, and there's going to be more of us just chatting as well about life, about topics that you want to hear from, because that's actually the feedback that we've been getting the most.

Chrystal 56:13

You want to hear about two mates just doing life, and we're happy to do that to be honest, and I think too, like with having guests on, it's not enough, because we'd love a long podcast. We'd love a long one.

Rose Oates 56:25

I feel like the guests we get on they've got so much to offer that like we want to have a three hour podcast and obviously that is a lot. We can't do it yes.

Chrystal 56:33

Yeah, so I think we are going to do more of just, you know, the chats with us, but, like Roy said, if there's anybody that you really want to hear from, like we will reach out to them.

Rose Oates 56:43

Yeah, I'm excited for where this. You know the potty will be nearly a year old In March. Shit that went fast God. I know, I just registered again for Actually when you said that I was like it's nearly going to be a year old.

Chrystal 56:56

The registration just came up to register the name again and I was like I only did it for one year because I was like are we going to keep doing this? I don't know.

Rose Oates 57:03

We'll just do one year. And then I was like bitch, please.

Chrystal 57:07

I'm putting this for three years now. Yeah.

Rose Oates 57:11

It's a lot, you never know. You never know where life will bring us. But yeah, honestly, well, other than that, we will see you next week or talk to you next week, so I don't know what I was going to say. Take care of yourselves and take care of each other.

Chrystal 57:27

Peace out guys. Bye.