Work Besties Who Podcast

Balance & Wellness with Athena Desai

• Work Besties Who Podcast • Season 2 • Episode 57

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In this episode of Work Besties Who Podcast, Jess and Claude sit down with Athena Desai—a holistic trauma specialist, spiritual coach, and former NPR journalist—who shares her transformational journey from acupuncture and Eastern medicine to soulful, whole-person healing.

Together, they explore the power of embracing your true self, the role of emotional wellness at work, and how navigating difficult conversations with compassion can transform professional and personal relationships.

What You’ll Learn:

  • How embracing authenticity leads to personal growth
  • Athena’s shift from traditional medicine to holistic healing
  • Why self-awareness is essential for work-life balance
  • The role of acupuncture in emotional and energetic health
  • The power of connection, spirituality, and support systems
  • Tips for navigating difficult work conversations with grace

Whether you’re seeking clarity, calm, or deeper connection, this episode offers a warm, real conversation on what it means to live—and lead—with intention.

🔑 Keywords: authenticity, holistic healing, self-discovery, emotional wellness, coaching, acupuncture, self-care, work relationships, spiritual growth

Learn more about Athena Desai here:

Website - https://www.soulfulhealingandcouncil.com/

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/soulfulhealingandcouncil/

LinkedIn = https://www.linkedin.com/in/athena-desai-2b0b789/


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Work Besties! Theme Song Written by Ralph Lentini @therallyband

Jess:

Have you ever wondered how embracing your true self can lead to profound healing and personal growth? Today we have the privilege of speaking with Athena Desai, a woman whose life journey embodies resilience, authenticity and transformation. From her early experiences as a first-generation Asian American to her diverse roles in journalism holistic healing. Diverse roles in journalism holistic healing music Her story is a true testament of the power of Embracing's one multifaceted identity.

Claude:

Hi, I'm Claude and I'm Jess. We are corporate employees by day, entrepreneurs by night and work besties for life.

Jess:

Join us as we explore how work besties lift each other up, laugh through the chaos and thrive together in every industry Work besties. So welcome Athena.

Athena Desai:

Thank you so much to both of you.

Athena Desai:

If you wouldn't mind kicking off by giving a little bit about who you are, yeah, I ask myself that almost every day what are you doing and how did you get it? It's been a very serpentine path, as you know a little bit about. I think it started with not really knowing and I love to say that because there's a lot of people out there who are like I know, or I have to know, that I'm going to do this thing and it's going to turn out that way, and that really was never what happened for me. My parents wanted me to be a doctor. They're both doctors, they come from families of doctors.

Athena Desai:

It's an Asian American thing in many, many communities but I always loved music and writing those were my pretty core passions and trying to figure out why people did what they did, and that was a constant question. So in college I chose anthropology because it sort of allowed me to do all of those things. Yeah, and in the vein of sort of checking out what I didn't feel we were telling the right stories about, I ended up working in a prison my senior year. I went to Cuba my junior year and all of that sort of pointed me in this direction of authentic stories and there were a lot of stories in the news about crime and prisons. But I knew we were missing something and there were other narratives that needed to come into play, and so I ended up getting an internship at NPR, which is not what they wanted at first, but I just kept banging on the door until they let me in and absolutely fell in love with radio. My first official job after my internship was the editorial assistant for the 2000 elections unit, which I just devoured. I mean, what an exciting, exciting time to be in Washington and working in news politics.

Athena Desai:

But along the way with news, I ended up getting really, really unwell. I'm very mission driven and so I was so used to throwing myself at everything 100,000%, and my health had always been really good up until a certain point. But when I moved to Boston particularly, I could not ignore what my body was telling me. It was really profoundly unhappy. I had to take a pretty big mental, emotional pause in the middle of one of the biggest news years in Boston ever and say am I doing the right thing here? What's my chance of a sustainable career? To maintain my health during all of that I was getting acupuncture and taking Chinese herbs. I didn't realize it at first, but just slowly over time it really started to influence my thinking about balance and being rooted in something that was actually healthy for me, so that's what I turned towards. I became an acupuncturist and an herbalist acupuncturist and an herbalist.

Jess:

For those that have never had acupuncture, I think it'd be good for them to understand what it is the process. And how did you then go from being a patient to this is now your life.

Athena Desai:

Yeah, I'll work backwards here. Ultimately, what felt the worst about how things were going was how out of balance I was and my life was. All I did was work essentially, and I knew that I needed more, even though I loved my work. I was super passionate about my work. My first acupuncture has taught me so much about the medicine and what happens.

Athena Desai:

There are many different styles, but typically you're going in with some issues, problems, complaints, I have found over the years I've been doing it for 12, 13 years now and they can be very amorphous. People show up often at the end of a road where Western medicine really hasn't helped, or they have a thing that they can't put a name to. They don't have a diagnosis for you. Sit with your practitioner and they'll take your pulse and look at your tongue, maybe palpate your belly all of these diagnostic tools. They're trying to figure out what's happening in the universe of you and why this is happening to you in this moment.

Athena Desai:

So you get to show up just as you are every session, but it also works cumulatively. So you're getting better every session, but it also works cumulatively. So you're getting better. Your systems are adjusting and you're gaining a sense of calibration the whole time, which is pretty phenomenal, because you end up being your own practitioner in some ways. Once you get to a stable point where your issue has either resolved completely, you're able to function with it going on in a totally different way, then you can ask yourself what do I need to eat for this to be in balance, for me to feel good? How do I need to think? What does my movement during my day look like? How am I steering this ship?

Jess:

You learn a lot about yourself through the process, does that organically come up in the meetings, or is that something that was more? You coming with? That kind of linking of understanding of things in your body were now becoming more balanced and you're now trying to figure out what are those other next steps.

Athena Desai:

It sort of depends on the patient and the practitioner. Some practitioners don't talk a lot about what's happening and it is a whole different sort of language and way of thinking, opening. I mean, it's all about readjusting your own energy and your own authentic sources of health and the way that those sources connect with the ultimate source of energy and spirit. Then you start opening to things, you start noticing more and over time it does become a little bit harder to be like. Every time I eat all of my plate of dessert, I know that it doesn't feel that good. Maybe I need half of it, or maybe it's once a week, right. You start to kind of feel into what works best for you.

Claude:

My understanding, in acupuncture you have the needles and you put it in a certain specific place in your body, depending on what you're hurting. I mean, I did this back in France. Walk us through. What are those particular pressure points that make everything go and get better?

Athena Desai:

There are many points on the body which are actually sort of doorways along meridians or paths of energy, and those paths are sort of governed by the organs in Chinese medicine. In Chinese medicine everything has layers, so the organs all have their own roles and responsibilities in terms of what they govern and help us to learn in our lives. Take the liver, and in some ways it can match up with a Western allopathic definition of liver functions. But also liver has to do with anger, frustration, bitter resentment on one end of the spectrum of the emotions and your lessons, and then on the other end there's creativity, vision, leadership, compassion. So we talk about virtues and vices, but just sort of the other end of the spectrum of what the liver is in charge of. So you can come in. Sometimes you will feel like physical pain or discomfort where the liver actually is. Other times you come in and you have TMJ, your jaw is super tight, grinding your teeth at night, or your tendons and your ligaments are really tight and you keep injuring yourself as you're exercising.

Athena Desai:

We start to assess what's the primary set of factors here and then we put together the combination of points along those pathways that tip the scales. It's a very empowering medicine because ultimately I'm not putting anything in you or taking anything out right that's material. Out right, that's material. It's all energy that your body has a lot of wisdom about how to balance. I'm a bit of a minimalist. I do the least amount possible and I'm not currently practicing acupuncture. I'm pivoting the principles of the medicine to work in my coaching, which I can do from anywhere, and it does work. There's so much wisdom in the medicine. It's so incredibly elegant and profound, so I'm trying to translate.

Jess:

The acupuncture itself is helpful. So help us understand how you got from the more medical of the acupuncture for the needles to now the discussions and the relationship aspect of it.

Athena Desai:

I think it's my connection to spirit and spirituality that's always driven it. I like the tenet of teaching someone to fish versus just giving them a fish. So I've always practiced in that way. The cosmology, the philosophy, the principles, those translate very well into our emotional lives, our psycho-spiritual lives. So, even though there's no corporeal body necessarily, even the most basic principles are really super helpful Balance, flow, authenticity. There is a saying if you're not yourself, you're sick. In Chinese medicine, if you're not well, there's a place in your life where you're not being you. That's a tough one to take on, but it's definitely interesting.

Jess:

Now that you've shifted into more of the relationship portion of it. Let's say, your work bestie is having challenges. What are some things? Maybe you would be working with the person who maybe is chatting to you about a work bestie.

Athena Desai:

Yeah, I've thought a lot about all the conversations I've had over the years with work besties, and I've cherished them. My goodness, we cannot survive without them.

Jess:

Right, we agree.

Athena Desai:

I do think there can be challenges, even in the listening. This is where some of those principles it'll be fun to kind of play with them and see if they make any sense in this space. So know thyself right that's a pretty widespread spiritual principle, and I think there is something about regularly cultivating and checking in with your authentic self, where you can really be getting what your authentic needs and desires are. Particularly in high stress mission driven environments, we can really get pulled off of our authentic needs and desires pretty quickly. A lot happens in the amorphous space where there are expectations of us that maybe haven't been made totally clear. There are places where we need to make agreements about what we do and don't do that aren't totally clear.

Athena Desai:

There are ways in which we've been carrying too heavy of a load or doing too much work than we can actually bear, which is kind of the definition of stress right. It's like more load than the system can handle. Often we don't communicate about that and we're sort of silently carrying it. One thing that acupuncture has really taught me, and the primary one, is our relationship with ourself right, and I think that's one that we tend to forget and I have seen with clients and patients. When you really start to ground in, that inevitably you'll have to be standing in full responsibility for yourself and your actions. I know it sounds like a big deal, but it is sort of the most empowering place that you can come from when we're in ecosystems. If we're not working from that place, we can really quickly slide into blame and making people wrong and doing this sort of indirect dance around the things that actually have to be dealt with, which are often going to come up in very difficult conversations. We don't have very forgiving cultural background for difficult conversations.

Claude:

I admire to go a bit more into the difficult conversation. So do you mean difficult conversation within work besties Like? What do you mean by that there?

Athena Desai:

could be difficult conversations amongst your intimates, people that you love, your actual besties. This happened a lot to me in news, where your besties are the people who will tell you what's happening right for them and in the workplace and you end up kind of doing a lot of listening and processing and supporting and suggesting.

Jess:

I think, when it comes to work besties, they leverage each other when they want to have those difficult conversations with other people. There is an element of you want to make sure your work bestie is helpful and supportive and providing that way to do it for you, not for them, which that can be a difficult conversation in and of itself. But then there's also times and I think Claude and I can test to it where we walk into a situation where we've had to have difficult conversations with each other and I know when I prepare for those difficult conversations I sometimes get anxiety or I get like a little stressed. Leveraging some of the holistic elements of what you do for the acupuncturist, I would think there's ways to help work besties when it's somebody more close, somebody that you really have a care and want to be upfront with the person, coach the person but at the same time be respectful.

Athena Desai:

I love this. Yeah, I think one really great place to start is naming the things. Sometimes we just launch into a conversation and we have like a verbal vomit or we really need to do this thing. We're venting, but then our friend thinks we might need a solution. There's a lot of power in pausing and asking or being the person to say you know what I need right now. I just need to vent for five minutes, that's all. Can you just listen to me? And that is opening up a chance for the other person to have agency too, because some five minutes you can't, you're actually not available for that.

Athena Desai:

I have a pretty big advocacy now for checking in again with your authentic needs, because that's really where we show up best and where we give the most. So of course, you love this person and you want to show up for them and listen to them. But this notion of balance and calibration is dynamic. Every moment is different, every day is different and you're really checking in with someone, sometimes again in pretty high stress situations, sometimes not, but that pause is pretty important and the check-in. I also have become a pretty big advocate for nervous system regulation.

Athena Desai:

Sometimes our friends help regulate our systems. Everything is energy. That's another thing that we learned from acupuncture. So, especially when you're intimate with someone, your fields are merging right and so you can pick up someone else's energy. Things that happened to them are still in their field. They can have strings to energy that you end up taking on. They can have strings to energy that you end up taking on. It doesn't have to happen that way, but it's enough for us to again, sort of like, turn towards our own calibration and make sure we're being responsible about what we're communicating and also how we're showing up.

Claude:

You said before you haven't calibrated your nervous system, how do people know what to do to go?

Athena Desai:

to that state. Great question, and how do you do those things in?

Claude:

the work environment.

Jess:

I know I need to. How do I do it?

Athena Desai:

Well, I'd love to hear a little bit more actually about how you know you need to and there are always somatic clues, right Like, our bodies are pretty wise and they're pretty much always telling us something. Sometimes, when you're in work mode, you're not really listening.

Claude:

but pain, discomfort shortness of breath, difficulty breathing right.

Athena Desai:

One of my favorite parts of the calibration system is we start listening better. Let's say we do know. Oh, I feel so anxious. I have all this nervous energy. When you tune in enough, you might even sense I feel like I need to shake or I feel like I need to run for a mile or something.

Athena Desai:

I have very often counseled people to take a bathroom break. If that's like the best that you can do, Just sneak off for it, Like no one really bothers you in the bathroom, Just get into a stall and sit and breathe. Breathing is one of the fastest ways, if not the fastest, most effective way, to change your state of energy and regulate your nervous system. And if we're walking or alive, that's available to us. Right, and I do think we need private moments.

Athena Desai:

Sometimes we don't all have an office where we can shut the door, and that's my first emergency go-to is the bathroom. All movement moves energy, so if you need to step outside even for five minutes, take a quick walk around the block. As we're checking in with ourselves, let's say we regularly talk to a work bestie and we regularly dump things on them or have them co-regulate or help us to regulate. There may be some ways that your body isn't. It might be not exactly what you need, but it's a habit. I would kind of advocate for doing your best to slow down and ask yourself what do I really really need right now?

Jess:

Is it helping both of you right? Because to your point, like just dumping on somebody, I could just be now passing my negative energy over to Claude and being like you dig, that's not really nice.

Claude:

And it also becomes a codependency actually, that you cannot regulate yourself without the other person. So you don't learn, because that's what work besties do. Sometimes you just want to be the other person, but that's where, which is because that's why we are there. But you have to learn also how to do that.

Jess:

But I think even just like athena's little hack there on making it a little bit more established as to what you're doing. Like I am just venting, I I am not seeking confirmation, I'm not seeking guidance, coaching. Your response probably is a little bit better than just dumping, because the immediate reaction for you would be like what can I take away from you, what can I help, versus doing what is needed to the other person. And it might get to the point where at some point you turn around to your work breasty and say, hey, I can't take it anymore.

Claude:

Stop. We did that, if you remember, jess. We were in the three-way and at one point, you left because I couldn't anymore. Yeah, yeah.

Athena Desai:

Yeah, I mean, particularly with close relationships, there is an opportunity to actually set agreements about it that are sort of longer term right. You can always have the in the moment pause and conversation. Nothing is ever perfect, so we can all forgive ourselves for forgetting or not doing it, but when you do have an established relationship, you can actually lay out agreements. I realized that regularly at work, particularly at lunchtime. I need my own space, so I'm going to be a little less available in that time. If it's an emergency text, me right. It's all agreements essentially and it is a way to just create sustainable relationships. I should claim my own bias here, because I often end up being the person that listens a lot and I didn't know how to dispel that energy for a long time and I didn't know how to gracefully communicate to friends about it and I definitely ended up losing some friendships and being physically unwell and just carrying a lot more than I could, and that is part of why it's on my mind.

Jess:

That is something probably a lot of work besties are doing listening to each other and some, to your point, maybe listening to 10 work besties. What would be the recommendations to these work besties to check that right? Check your authenticity first, but then what would you do to help them stop?

Athena Desai:

that great question. I'm going to try and put myself in the shoes of someone who shares a lot um and has the best of intentions.

Jess:

Right, it's not like malicious in either end. Right, it's malicious on either end exactly.

Athena Desai:

um, we're not trying to hurt someone, but there is like an expanding of consciousness and awareness. That helps with that. And this is one of my hacks about authenticity is you kind of have to be radically honest with yourself to be able to really get to what is happening for you. It does sound a bit confronting, but even a check-in if you really love and trust your bestie and you have any inkling that this could be going on, it's very bold and brave. But you could ask right, Like hey, I've kind of been getting the feeling that I'm just dumping on you a lot lately. Is that accurate? Has that been happening for you?

Athena Desai:

Opening up the conversation and like maybe trying to pick up on some of the nonverbal communication, when people are listening with their whole body, when everyone in the room is on some par of some kind of regulation, If people are fidgeting or looking around or checking their watch or their phone, all of the nonverbal cues that again I was gonna say I'm laughing because I I that's one of the the ways I know I'm venting too much to claude is like while I'm talking to her she'll be like yeah, uh-huh, and I'm like, okay, you're just not listening, you're out of it, it's too much I'm sorry.

Claude:

Do I do that?

Jess:

there are, I'm sorry jess, it's like what athena's saying. You have to check yourself at times, like I didn't really need to tell you that same complaint. It's, in essence, was the same complaint that I have had for like three weeks, and like how many times you need to hear it, right? Hello, jess oh there's nothing to be sorry for. I think this is all good, Like how do I regulate myself and not rely on somebody else who's over listening to it?

Athena Desai:

Moment of healing.

Jess:

Look at that it's good for both right.

Athena Desai:

Yeah, and it can go both ways right. I mean, sometimes we don't share enough. There are people in our lives who are like I'd really love to know what's going on for you. You look like you're stressed out, but you haven't been saying anything Like what's going on. Finding that courage, that willingness.

Jess:

And even with your work capacity too, to your point, because there are times where you do see each other every day. You're in meetings every day, maybe you still have lunch every day, but you're like chit-chatting about all the work stuff that, like you sometimes even forget to check in and just say, hey, how are you like, what's going on?

Claude:

personally, what a great point.

Jess:

And sometimes we know each other so much that we know something is wrong yeah, like you usually wait for me to say something, you're like yeah, I knew something was off.

Athena Desai:

Yeah, right, and sometimes the lines are so blurry, right, we have these Venn diagrams, and in the middle of us is the work and the personal stuff and can be a lot to untangle, for sure.

Jess:

You talk a lot, too, about checking in with your authentic self. What do you mean, too, about checking?

Athena Desai:

in with your authentic self. What do you mean by that? What one's authentic self is? There's a couple of ways I like to think of it. One of it this is part of why I called in the sort of radical honesty, because it's sort of the no bullshit.

Athena Desai:

Ooh, can I swear, I didn't ask that I swear like a sailor when I'm left to my own devices. So the no bullshit part of you, something that comes up a lot I'll try to come up with an example where, like, someone is asking for coaching around a relationship let's say it's a romantic one and we're trying to get at how they actually feel and a lot of the language is like, well, he or she is just being a dick right now. They're just, they're so angry and they're so stressed. And if they could just blank, blank, blank, right. So maybe they've never reached that level of expression before where they said all those things and that's worth celebrating.

Athena Desai:

But if it still sounds like blaming and other people are wrong and there's not really a recognition of how they're showing up and how they're contributing to the situation, there's further to go. Authenticity isn't where we just get to call other people out. Authenticity is where we're even calling ourselves out, other people out. Authenticity is where we're even calling ourselves out and we're like, actually I haven't been telling him how I feel for quite some time. I've actually been sitting on this for a couple months, so that's on me. I mean, sure you could still be being a dick, but like no, maybe I'm the dick.

Athena Desai:

There's always that Venn diagram between us in any relationship. So, authenticity you're sort of getting past the bullshit. Even if it sounds good, usually it's pretty vulnerable and the process of getting there usually is pretty uncomfortable, right. Maybe not the whole thing, but if you're staying again, it's another good clue. If it's comfortable for you the whole way, then you have further to go, because when you get to that point where you're like, oh my God, I don't trust him with this and I don't trust myself with this, and that's because of this wound right, it is in the past, in my background Then you're starting to get somewhere right.

Athena Desai:

That is the place where you're actually uncovering what is there for you. And I like to think that, because we are beings of light in human bodies, having human experiences, authenticity does involve some equanimity and some grace. That's like the absolute innermost level, where we're all made up of the same stuff and then it gets sort of like more human all the way out and those expressions and aspects of ourselves are pretty unique, right. So we're really trying to get to this one lifetime and experience and how we show up in the world as these people.

Jess:

Is it safe to say, athena, that to be vulnerable and or feeling uncomfortable all the time? Doesn't that in essence mean that you're always kind of searching for your authenticity? I think it depends on the context. At some point, when you know who you are and maybe the obstacles that you are going to have to always, constantly deal with, you should be cognizant of them. But I guess there is that element of you'll kind of, even though you know them, you still slip back into I'm thinking right now.

Athena Desai:

I'm getting this image of like tuning a radio dial. So there is like a station of your authenticity that is sustainable, right. Maybe changes to some degree over time, but for the most part it's like that station. You know, when you dial a particular way, you're going to get that wavelength of energy. There are various things that can distort that signal, right.

Athena Desai:

Trauma is one of them, and trauma is all the things you just described, like when you're in a state where something big has just happened and you're still processing it and it's a wound, can be uncomfortable and vulnerable and all of those things. Opening, falling in love can be one of those things. Right, various forms of opening and expansion can often be like that too. This is where, like knowing yourself and figuring out like, ah, what, okay, so when I'm in my station, my like authentic wavelength, I tend to know this and feel like this and if it's like, if the dial is just like a little bit off, I'm hearing some static, what do I need to do to like that's the calibration right? What do I need to do to turn it to the right or left to be able to get into that clearer wavelength, that clear signal?

Jess:

I guess that's fair. Even if you do fully know who you are, you're always going to still have the minor tweakments.

Athena Desai:

let's say yeah, Because, again, in acupuncture, Chinese medicine, shamanism, magic, Buddhism they've all taught me about this sort of inherent nature that we have, which is light, I believe. Right, it is love, and that doesn't stop us from being human. Right, it doesn't discount the human experience which has so many different layers and textures and flavors and colors, and I actually think that all adds to our authenticity. And when you have processed it and when your nervous system can actually be at peace with it, you can really really talk about it right, you can really be choosing different actions and thoughts and words around it.

Jess:

So question for you on we talked about when you're having, maybe a challenging conversation with a coworker or your bestie what would you coach? And or is kind of different when it's with a boss or a superior.

Athena Desai:

That can be so tricky, right, but you know what I actually feel like the rules of authentic communication help you in both instances, so that's convenient.

Claude:

Yeah.

Athena Desai:

It's humbling, and it's bold and a little bit risky.

Claude:

Let me think of an.

Athena Desai:

Toss me an example and I'll toss you like an authentic communication around it and an inauthentic communication.

Jess:

Okay, let's see. I think one that I always feel challenged with is when I have a superior boss that is a micromanager, so constantly checking in and wants to know to the most granular level of detail of what's going on. That to me is like a quick stress to my system.

Claude:

Sure, sure. Well, more or less it's how to say nice, like, nicely back off.

Jess:

Yeah, or how do I find a better way to regulate it Like? Okay that's the approach. Which is kind of what I normally do. I usually try and test with, like you know, I know this is your style, this is my style, and if that doesn't work, then it's kind of more like okay, I just have to learn how to deal with it.

Athena Desai:

Yeah, yeah, well, I mean, I hear some layers here, right, like styles is actually a very diplomatic, kind, real way to say we're pretty different. I don't work this way, right? The inauthentic or less authentic example I was thinking of was being like well, I sent you this email that said that I did the thing. I texted you to say to do that, right, which is like a sort of passive aggressive back off. I've already done it, yeah, yeah, I'm on top of it, right. I've already done it. Yeah, I'm on top of it Right. Here's a more authentic version of that conversation. So with oh, I kind of want to ask I'll make up a name. Is it female or male?

Jess:

Let's say Claude.

Athena Desai:

All right. So, claude, can I get real for a second here? Here? I've been noticing for a while that you like to check in quite a bit on what I'm doing, and I'm realizing that it makes me feel like you really fundamentally don't trust me to do what is in front of me. There's a lot that might be my shit around that. I am a perfectionist and I am terrified to disappoint people in my life and I actually really admire you and this relationship is really important to me, so I don't want to let you down. But I find that I'm getting pretty frustrated around all the communication and I'm just wondering what? What can we do about that?

Claude:

Well, I need to know everything, because then I'm being asked questions by my superior.

Athena Desai:

Okay, and what does everything mean to you? What are you doing? Where are the projects at? Yeah, do you want to keep going? I'm so happy to do this.

Jess:

I'm eating it up, ladies.

Athena Desai:

Yeah, listen, I mean, I get you have your responsibilities. Maybe I don't know, maybe there's some pressure coming from people above you and, to be clear, I want to do this work well and I care about you and I want you to succeed. Right now it's not working for me. The impact that it has on me and my work is that I'm going back over and checking on things that I've actually already done and I feel good about, and then I sit on it. I don't talk to you about it because I'm afraid to. I'm afraid that you'll get upset.

Jess:

I like where you're going with this. I'm guessing this is what you must do with your clients. How do you frame it up in the way that the person who's coming to you with this challenge would really feel more comfortable doing Because you're still positioning it as I, but in servitude of the them? I mean, it's really hard. I feel comfortable for me and I don't know if you did that purposely because you don't know me that well.

Athena Desai:

Yeah, oh, I'm trying, I'm trying to channel, but when we use you, you're doing this, this you're making me blah, blah, blah, blah blah. We're stepping way out of our zone of empowerment.

Jess:

And you're also like making it a controversial verse and they become defensive.

Athena Desai:

They become defensive. I mean, of course, don't we all right? I mean you feel wrong, you feel blamed, you feel like you hurt this person, and it's okay to express that you might be hurt. But when you're standing in responsibility for yourself, you can say I know that I'm taking this in in a very particular way because of who I am. I actually am a super recovering people pleaser. I really want to get the A plus and check off the box and all those things and what's happening for me. My experience is that when I hear from you 20 times in an hour, I'm more focused on worrying about what's happening between us than I am on the work. Whatever it is. It's all valid. That person is going to have a different perspective, their own needs, their own desires.

Athena Desai:

We're trying to find the space in the middle of us and when you cut to the real stuff, which does take time, right, I mean it's hard to do on day one or maybe even in the first few months or year, but I actually think it does go a lot better when you establish that that's how you're going to communicate and that can happen at any point.

Jess:

And I think, going back to the beginning of the holistic healing and what your kind of specialty is, in addition to feeling authentic, it felt comfortable in my body. Sometimes you go into a conversation you get a little tense. Like even the way you were saying it I was like, oh, I could do that. I wouldn't feel awkward saying it that way. So I see what you mean by your mind and body need to be in sync to really help you get past some of these things too.

Athena Desai:

What a great, great thing to flag is that when you're really rooted in your own body and your own truth and you have some regulation happening, it does feel good. At the very least it doesn't feel bad, right. And when it does feel bad and tense and we're trying to say the right thing and I mean 10 times out of 10, 10 times out of 10, I cannot tell you the amount of times I've had a client be like, you know, I want to say this to the person and they'll just tell me because it's a safe space. I'm not judging them, they trust me, you know X, y, z. And then we might spend 20, 30, 40 minutes, sort of like pulling back the layers, while like I don't know, I can't really say that why? Because this always happens and dah, dah, dah, dah, dah. When we get back to like what is going to be said, it's the original thing, it's the thing that they said to me when they felt safe and confident and right every time.

Jess:

That totally tracks because, to your point, they felt confident in that.

Athena Desai:

Yeah, and you can feel that in your body. You can also feel like you're about to throw up, and that doesn't make it less authentic Sometimes, that's, you know that it's happening, but again, your own calibration.

Jess:

Yeah.

Athena Desai:

Right. You know that when you show up to conversations like this, you might have your heart in your throat.

Jess:

It doesn't mean to stop necessarily, and it's a bad thing because once you get past it, your body will then go back to the comfortable balance.

Athena Desai:

Yeah.

Jess:

You know, this has been amazing. Your hacks, your understanding of light within you has been really enlightening. I have one last question for you. What advice would you offer to our WorkBestie community for those that are striving to embrace their authentic selves amongst all of the life challenges they have? What would be that one bit of advice?

Athena Desai:

Develop a practice where you are connecting with the vibration of unconditional love and when you can speak to yourself and all your different parts from that place. Game has changed. Everything is open and available to you. You will figure it out. And if you can't do that, get some support. There's so much support out there to help you do that.

Jess:

Athena. How can people find or look for you if they're interested in learning more about this?

Athena Desai:

I'm on LinkedIn. I'm super happy to connect that way. On Instagram, I'm soulfulhealingandcouncil C-O-U-N-C-I-L is my handle. Happy to connect that way. Those are probably the best ways, and my phone number and email are in both of those places so you can always reach out. We'll link them in our show notes as well, for all those who are listening on their commutes.

Jess:

You'll be able to find it there and connect with Athena.

Athena Desai:

Wonderful. Thank you both so much Great work. You do Appreciate it.

Claude:

Athena, thank you so much. Really, your journey is really a testament to the power of embracing all the aspects of oneself. Besties, if you really enjoyed this episode, like we did, do not forget to share, like and subscribe and, in the meantime, see you next week.

Jess:

Remember whether you're swapping snacks in the break room, rescuing each other from endless meetings or just sending that perfectly timed meme. Having a work bestie is like having your own personal hype squad.

Claude:

So keep lifting each other, laughing through the chaos and, of course, thriving. Until next time, stay positive, stay productive and don't forget to keep supporting each other. Work besties.

People on this episode

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Claude F

Co-host
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Jess K

Co-host
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Athena Desai

Guest