Is This a Season or a Sign?

Jess and Claude tackle one of the biggest career questions many of us quietly carry: How do you know whether to stay, shift, or go? This conversation is not just about work. It is about confidence, energy, identity, relationships, and the ways work can start following you home. Together, they unpack why awareness comes before any big career decision and why the real question is often not just “How do I feel at work?” but “Who am I becoming because of what is happening at work?” 

Throughout the episode, they explore what patterns show up when stress takes over, how high-capacity people often default to doing more instead of facing what is actually true, and why some career pivots are not dramatic exits but smaller shifts in communication, boundaries, or how you advocate for yourself. Jess and Claude also reflect on the difference between a difficult season that stretches you and a harmful pattern that starts to reshape you.

They close with practical questions to help you check in with yourself:
 -Where has work started affecting how you see yourself?
 -What patterns have you been normalizing that deserve closer attention?
 -And what truth do you already know, but have been afraid to say out loud? 

This episode is a reminder that not every hard moment means it is time to leave, but every hard moment is worth noticing. Sometimes clarity does not arrive as a lightning bolt. Sometimes it begins as a pattern you finally stop ignoring.

You can watch the full episode on Youtube
Follow us on IG ,  TikTok, Threads and LinkedIn
Please rate, comment and provide suggestions for upcoming episodes

Work Besties! Theme Song Written by Ralph Lentini @therallyband

Transcript

Why Work Feels So Personal

Jess K 0:00

You know how in every great TV show you get pulled in because something about it feels very familiar? Not because your life looks exactly like the story, but because you understand the tension. You recognize the emotion, and you think, yeah, I know that feeling. The conversations we bring to work besties are not random. They are topics we have gone through or are going through, or honestly wish we had more guidance ourselves to be able to understand. And today's episode is no different. We had a guest scheduled for this week, and we decided that we're going to keep the topic even though she couldn't make it, because the conversation is one of the biggest questions many of us have in our careers. How do you know whether to stay, shift, or go?

Claude F 0:44

And what makes that question so big is that it's never just about work.

Jess K 0:49

It's about your confidence, your energy, your identity, your relationships. It's about whether work is challenging you in that healthy way or whether it started following you home in ways that are just not so healthy. If you're listening today and quietly wrestling with any version of this question yourself, then this episode's for you.

Claude F 1:09

Hi, I'm Claude. And I'm Jess. We are corporate employees by day, entrepreneurs by night, and work besties for life.

The Stay Shift Or Go Question

Jess K 1:18

Join us as we explore how work besties lift each other up, laugh through the chaos, and thrive together in every industry. Work besties. Welcome back to Work Besties. And today is a post-led reflection, a little bit of a real-time career conversation, and a whole lot of the Jessica Claude honesty. Because this builds perfectly on last week's episode with Shelly. Shelly talked about communication, awareness, and the importance of understanding what is really happening beneath the surface before you rush to fix, perform, or react. And that is exactly where we want to go with the conversation today. Because before there is a stay or go decision, there's awareness.

Claude F 2:04

And ONS sounds simple until it's actually gets personal. Exactly.

Jess K 2:10

It's easy to tell someone else, hey, pay attention to those signs, Claude. It's much harder when you say it to yourself. Because that question gets really messy when you have to ask it of yourself. And it's not just about figuring out if it's a hard season or if it's are you overreacting. Sometimes it's what do I need to do to communicate better? What do I need to keep proving myself? Or am I seeing something clearly that I just haven't wanted to admit to myself? And that's the place that we want to sit in today.

Claude F 2:47

And who do I become of because of what's happening at work? If you're stressed, you're going to be very short with other people, right? It's in the nature. So those are really the distinctions that needs to be done.

Jess K 2:59

Yeah, that's a huge question. And honestly, it's a topic that really lands close to home for me. Reflecting where I thought I would be versus where I am. I'd am thinking about what do I want for my long-term game. I don't want to look back and think I was stuck or that I stayed in this pattern because of a certain reason and start asking myself those hard questions. So I'm going to leverage Claude to do it. Oh boy. Watch out. You're a good rounding board. But some of those things that we were recommended to think about is do I stay and keep trying? Do I feel like I have to keep proving myself? Or do I really feel like that I still have it in me to pivot? Do I have to be honest that some situations are shaped by dynamics bigger than my effort alone? Sometimes it's about how much influence you have. And sometimes it's about who has the ear in the room. So if you're in roles like we are in corporate, where you are the one providing direction, strategy, and are in rooms of situations where maybe you're not getting those people to listen, you do want to take that stock to say, is it me? Is it how I'm coming at it? Is it what I'm framing it up on? Is the person even listening? And then sometimes you have to take the step back to say, okay, I've lived through these things before. How can I overcome it? Or do I even want to because I'm seeing patterns that are not going to help me? So yeah, Claude, I don't know.

Recognizing Patterns Under Pressure

Claude F 4:50

I I threw a lot at you, but I know that's the kidney up at night, you'll know I do sleep. Well, unlike me. So unlike you sleep. But yeah, I think those are important distinctions, right? Because when you're a high capacity person, you know, you take a lot, your default can become what else can I do? instead of what is actually true here.

Jess K 5:15

We've been around for a bit of time. We're not newbies. You do recognize patterns. Sorry, just me. Clad's right out of college, everyone. Yep. You do start to recognize patterns. And sometimes the patterns are us, right? And how we go about things. But sometimes patterns are the way the company, uh, the ethos of the company, the management style, it could be from that approach too.

Claude F 5:43

And if I can talk about pattern, pattern, it's really scary, right? Because sometimes you know what happened in the past in your career and everything, and you tend to go back to the same pattern. And then when you're in the new position and you've been promoted, you switch. Sometimes you see the same pattern and you're like, oh, I have to be careful. I really have to change what I always do that will end up where I'm going. So if it makes sense. Yeah. Pattern is very good. You do want to learn. Hopefully you're learning from your Sometimes. I see the same pattern and it's scary.

Jess K 6:23

Yeah, well, I think we talked about that with one of our guests earlier this month where we said, you know, what do you c coach individuals around when they do switch companies and they find themselves in the same situation? And I believe they said like that happens a lot because most first think to go because of the surroundings around them, not what they were contributing or not contributing. And then when they get back in that situation again, that's when it finally, to your point, triggers, hopefully, that wait, I do have a role in this as well. And some of it is around am I able to overcome that and how do I get around it? And then some of it might be like, all right, maybe this this type of role or position isn't the right one for me if you can't.

Claude F 7:12

Yeah. And when you have those patterns, a lot of time you go back in those patterns when you are overwhelmed or stressed. Right. Yeah. I know myself. And you go back to the thing you feel co confident about when it's not always the right time to do those, you know? So it's really watching out.

Jess K 7:34

Yeah, because you you agree. And I think with the patterns and the what you're seeing, you don't want it to impact or affect yourself, or if you want to still have that um confidence in who you are and know where you want to go. But you do have to recognize you're a part of that journey too.

Claude F 7:54

Oh, totally.

Jess K 7:55

Yeah. And we do want to own up that we are not suggesting that this means resigning when you start seeing patterns. We we are really bringing. Yeah, yeah, we're bringing this to life to explain how pivots can be small or big, right? They could be, I I need to stop doing my meetings the same way because it's clearly what's causing the dynamic, or the way I'm presenting my facts is not compelling enough, or people are not linking the two together. So you do have to start thinking about some of that. And then some of it might be having a one-off conversation with those individuals around you that are causing you not to feel as confident in your role.

Claude F 8:38

I can tell you from experience, when I am overwhelmed, I go back to what operation and being very operational. Okay. Because that's where I'm confident. I know I'm good at it, right? Oh my god, and you know what I do, Claude? That's the offer. I do the I do the big picture, I do the strategy. Exactly, but that's why we were working well together at the end of the day, right? Right. You was you were helping me with the big picture, and I was helping you with the how do you get to the steps, the tactics, the cape, yeah, the capabilities. When I am overwhelmed, I tend to go to that operational one, the minutiae.

Jess K 9:17

Okay.

Claude F 9:18

And I see the pattern, so it's where I'm like, oh shoot, I'm doing that again. So I'm pivoting and not going to the same pattern.

Jess K 9:27

Okay. So if you recognize that, do you still take the step back to say, what caused me to do it? It's because I'm stressed or I'm overwhelmed. Right, but there's different elements that cause that stress. The point of this is to see if the patterns of what the stress are.

Claude F 9:43

We spoke about it, right? It's my to-do list is like 500 pages, or there's this tech, I don't I'm not sure about it. What I will do, I'll procrastinate. Not really that's what I'm doing. You know, I will do other things until you yeah. Because I'm confident about that more than the other one.

Jess K 10:01

Right.

Claude F 10:02

So, and that's where I see the signs now, because even though I just came out of college, I've been around a bit.

Jess K 10:12

You're very well uh versed in all of these things for only working for a few years now.

Pivoting Without Rage Quitting

Claude F 10:17

I know, yeah, except it it took on me physically though, as you can see. Anyway, so that's where I I recognize my pattern going back, and that's when I can switch quickly. So the most important is that when you need to realize your pattern and then switch, pivot.

Jess K 10:38

Agreed, agreed. And and being okay with being uncomfortable. Oh, yeah. I think that's the other thing too. It's it's it's okay to feel uncomfortable. That is not a sign you have to pivot or you have to change.

Claude F 10:51

No, feeling uncomfortable in a way makes you stronger.

Jess K 10:56

Right. I agree, I totally agree.

Claude F 10:58

Stronger.

Jess K 11:00

So we'll close out this session by saying um, work besties out there. Think about what are those patterns you're seeing in your life, and let us know what you see that works or doesn't work, and what pivoting even means to you in a career. We would love to hear more from you guys on that.

Claude F 11:20

Yeah.

Jess K 11:20

Cloud, it's been three months already into season three.

Claude F 11:24

It went so fast.

Jess K 11:26

I know. It went so fast. We have shifted our journey um in season three. We've been more specific around our topics that we're covering, and they continue to build each month, and they're around skill setting growth goals for all of our work besties. And I I I personally feel that the shift has been fantastic. Uh, we love talking to work besties, but hearing from some of these individuals across the three different themes that we've had this past uh quarter has really, I think, elevated our game and in some ways not just helped our work besti community, but helped us. Us. Yeah.

Claude F 12:06

Which is great because a lot of times we decide asking for a friend, we actually like I know we're we're seeking out guests that we know will help us just as much as they'll help you.

Jess K 12:19

Uh, because there's no shame in admitting you can always grow and learn. Um, but Claudia, I did want to ask you. So with the show and how we've sit shifted these conversations, let's call them bigger conversations, um, where we've been more poignant, focused on work and identity. What do you feel the last three months have taught you about what actually fits or what your your positionings are?

Authenticity Honesty And Your Brand

Claude F 12:48

I think for me it was what fits you know, what fits is not always the easiest. And is also what I liked was about being very much more like authenticity at work. For me, authentic at work it was really the the most important, making sure not to overshare, attend to overshare, but still being accessible. So it's having uh the right balance, yeah, which ultimately become your brand. Also, so this authenticity at work, I think then there's a ripple effect also with uh the team or even the cross function. And also clarity, I really liked by the clarity guy.

Jess K 13:37

Such a great name, the clarity guy.

Claude F 13:39

Yeah, okay. So I'm not being rude and saying, oh, the guy, it's his name.

Jess K 13:44

Yeah, yeah, that's his name.

Claude F 13:45

So the clarity guy, where he say you have to go step by steps. Like I remember what he said, you're in Denver, you go to Florida, you're not going to start looking at the road in Florida. Yeah.

Jess K 13:58

What's the roads outside your house? Outside your house, and then go.

Claude F 14:02

That's a really that I like that. What about you?

Jess K 14:05

Yeah, I mean, I think those are all great. Um and you have a lot more than I was thinking. So that's a very impressive cloud. See that. I yeah, you did. I didn't. I was um for me, uh so I think this could be also where I am personally and professionally in life. Honesty is the the thematic that's like holding me tethered, let's say, out of everything we've heard from people. Like, yes, the authenticity. I love that. And I think personally you do that extremely well. So um it's interesting that you're always so focused on it because you definitely are very authentic to you and people know that. For me, it's I come back to honesty. I think at the beginning, you know, I always want to show up super polished and strong. And sometimes I do that to a fault. And I I don't know how to say it. I think it's something that, yes, maybe people appreciate getting the answers, but they want to feel seen at the same time. So I have to do more of that balance. Kind of what you were talking about. You overshare, maybe I undershare.

Claude F 15:16

You know, I'm sorry, boys. They all know about my son. You know, he would be so upset. Oh, that's fine. I think when you say overshare, it's like overshare.

Jess K 15:25

Yeah, oversharing from your family is fine. I think it's more like if you're oversharing about what your person like I'm frustrated with so-and-so at work. Um yeah, no, that's that that's a little different. And I I think for me, what I um I'm finding is teams, or at least the the ability to move a team helps when you're honest and stating like this is hard right now. And I recognize that it's hard and it's real and you can figure it out together, or you can figure it out on your own. Like I, but you need to know that I'm here for you and be more of that support system versus like always just waiting for them.

Claude F 16:05

Oh, and also it's putting yourself in the thing. Also, look, it's hard for everybody, it's hard for you, it's hard for me as well. It's it's really hard, but we are going to come out of it and being stronger because we are a team.

Hard Season Versus Harmful Pattern

Jess K 16:22

The second part of that is the kind of routinely checking back in on that. Because I've I've recognized to the team, like where we're in struggles and having difficult times, but then going back and saying, okay, so what do you guys think now? Where are you at now? How are you becoming X, Y, and Z, the routine consistency and the willingness to name it, you know? Yeah. I I I find that for me, those were the parts that I found yes, I knew about them, but I feel like that was an area that doesn't always get talked about as much, let's say. Okay, I have another question for you, Claude. Um, all right, I I'm sure a lot of people are wondering from your perspective, Claude, how do you start to tell the difference between a hard season and a harmful pattern?

Claude F 17:08

I liked what we said before when you become someone that you're not, usually, and it affects you, your team, but also your family, right? Yeah. Uh you become like not sleeping. I know that there was one point in my professional life where it was not a hot season, it was after a year, I'm like, I cannot do that anymore. I know it's not going to change. So I'm out. And that was the best thing I could have done. Now seasoned, it's like at work, or it's like you're with your partner, right? You're going to have some up and down. It's normal that uh, and it's the same thing with the relationship with even at work where you're going to have those patterns, up and down, up and down. But you can notice is it the work I'm doing right now? And do I know that later on it's going when it's done, it's finished. I know that it's going to get better. Or if you don't see the end, then that's how I see.

Jess K 18:20

You know, I think it's if I can reframe for you a little. It sounds like a hard season, a hard season can stretch you. So it may feel uncomfortable at the time, but you will advance or move and shift around. But a harmful pattern reshapes you. So that's really where you do have to shift who you are. Oh, yeah, or what you are. You become, yeah, one that to stretch versus reshape.

Three Questions To Find Clarity

Claude F 18:47

Exactly. And people can see when I'm done. Yeah. Because it reflects on your work and you're like, you become, you know what? Damn if I do, damn if I don't. It's going to go nowhere. So you're not as much into it anymore, right? So let's get practical. If someone listening is sitting in that tension right now, where do they start?

Jess K 19:10

Oh, I like that. The first one to me would be is this situation difficult or is it distorting how I see myself? Right? Because difficulty is one thing. We've all been in situations where, ooh, and this is kind of my card. Yes.

Claude F 19:29

Yes, that's true. We bonded on that. We had quite no clue.

Jess K 19:33

We had to quite the learning curve, let's say. Um, and we both became stronger from it. And you hit on a really important part, which is the difference between the difficult situation as harmful or like a season versus a pattern. A difficult versus the distorting yourself is something along. Are you able to learn from this? Is it something that it's only difficult for a short period or a longer time? Such as if you are dealing with a mismatch for your role, right? Like let's say it's not just I can't get it this one time and I'm never gonna get it. That's a longer conversation, a longer opportunity. Yeah. Or you have a challenging boss who you know is going to stay for quite some time. That's another one. So you I think you want to sit there and ultimately and say, why am I questioning my value in this company? And if I don't feel like I myself can overcome this or learn from this, that's I think the quick answer. Number two is is there room to repair that, right? So like now I can figure out is it me, is it someone else? Um, can you realize that where your next step is? Can you actually change what has happening? Is that awareness going to lead to some type of action? If you provide feedback to others, will it be heard? And honestly, can you trust to rebuild in and around the company? Because if the answer is still yes there, then yeah, that matters. And if the answer is no, I think you've kind of locked in on your some elements of your decision making. Those are all, again, good questions to ask yourself because at the end of it, you want to think about how do I win this? And more importantly, what am I being asked to protect in myself to stay? So the third question: what is this costing me outside of work? And this is what you kind of owned up to before when you were talking about a situation that was definitely more than a season. How is it impacting the ripple effects of your whole life? Are you becoming more irritable? Are you more withdrawn? Those at your home will be able to quickly tell you what's changed and what's different about you. And you personally may feel even at work, or you might feel like your confidence is deteriorating and more exhausted, right? You might feel like because you're constantly stressed, which just erodes your nervous system and doesn't let you ever have full, true rest. So if you do feel like you're in that That constant mode, that is definitely a sign.

Claude F 22:03

That is Yeah, it's time to go because at the end of the day it's almost abusive. Yeah. And it is not worth it. And leaving a position like that is not quitting. It's not that easy to get out. It's like again, a relationship, right? Because you're going to have the people that you like. And you're there for the people and everything. But at the end, you need to help yourself.

Jess K 22:29

A lot of people stay in a situation because they feel like they are aligned with everybody or they're trying to redeem something and it's not worth it. Your health is top priority. Your health, your family, your network of support system. Yes, work is there and it's important. But if you don't see that path forward, if this is more of a life sentence versus season, then that's your your answer. Right.

Claude F 22:58

And then you can see the answer also after how many people left. I have an example where we were in a department and 11, nine of us left.

One Next Step And Closing

Jess K 23:08

But the the important part there is you probably had those conversations with those people. Someone else is feeling it too. Oh. So if those in and around you are feeling the same, then you're right. That's not like a one-off problem with you not the right role fit. It's definitely a cultural situational element. Yeah. That's where really your work bestie is so much. Yeah, that's fair. I think leveraging, yeah, your work bestie za or bestie helps so much because you have that instant confidant who's not going to spill, but will be honest and say, here's what I'm seeing, or in and around it. Because if you're not in the same department, they they still hear and see and have interactions with these other people too, or situations too. So for this week, here's what we want our work besties to work on. We gave you a lot of tools and questions to ask yourself. So what we're asking is take 15 minutes of quiet time and ask yourself these three questions. Where has work started affecting how I see myself? What patterns have I been normalizing that actually deserve closer attention? And what is one truth I already know, but I have been afraid to say out loud. If you are just in a hard situation, whether it's the season or long term, you don't always think about it, but you should, right? So, like pivots for me, I'm not pivoting because I'm in a hard season or a hard pattern. I'm pivoting because I'm getting to a certain age and I want to I want to align what my end game is. So I think the focus is more around that. And it and it doesn't, yeah, it doesn't have to be a polished answer. I just we wanted them to have an awareness. Where are you at? And what does that mean?

Claude F 24:53

Exactly.

Jess K 24:54

And when you have the answers, you know, write it down. Yeah, perfect. So what's the action step? I you know, for me, it's um it's gonna be things like updating my resume and figuring out where to go, documenting what's happened and where I still feel like I haven't accomplished. Um, but for some of you, it might be having a hard conversation with somebody. It might be setting a boundary if somebody's sitting there thinking I don't have personal time. Some of us it might be asking for support. It doesn't have to be something big and dramatic.

Claude F 25:24

So we'd love that feedback from you all. Because at the end, clarity doesn't always arrive as a lightning bolt. Sometimes it just begins as a pattern, you finally stop ignoring.

Jess K 25:35

So, work besties, pay attention, find that awareness for you, find if it is a pattern or something you want to work on, name that truth for you and take the one step, or at least write down what you think that one step is for you to work on. As we kicked off, this is not us saying that when you think about your career, it's a it's a stay or go situation. It's not about that at all. It's really alignment around what you want to accomplish, where you're at, and where you want to grow. And sometimes that's just noticing what happens in your workday and work routine for now. And if there's something that you feel like is still missing. Thanks for being here with us. And remember, keep supporting each other. Work besties, see you next week. Remember, whether you're swapping snacks in the break room, rescuing each other from endless meetings, or just sending that perfectly timed meme. Having a work bestie is like having your own personal hype squad.

Claude F 26:34

So keep lifting each other up, laughing through the chaos, and of course, thriving. Until next time, stay positive, stay productive, and don't forget to keep supporting each other. Work besties!