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The Midlife Mentors: Hello and welcome to our episode of Midlife Mentors with me, James, me, Claire. I'm not allowed to mention the weather. Please don't

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The Midlife Mentors: I'm sweating. It's hot. It is hot. We're here in London. I'm going to pretend that it's not hot and I'm not sweating, even though I'm fat myself. In another heat wave. But, you know, let's not complain, because it's two weeks of sunny weather out of…

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The Midlife Mentors: 52. I am getting a reputation for talking about the weather every single time, so… and I just have again, because it is hot, it's hot. It's hot. We have to put the windows down, because we've got kind of, like, as you do in London, we've got building work happening everywhere, and trucks moving around, so we've had to shut the windows, so it's a little bit hot in this lap right now. I think, yeah, we'll see how many pounds we'll lose during this podcast. It's like Bikram hot yoga, or whatever it's called.

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Alexandra Theis: Oh, that's good! Bikram pod yoga!

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The Midlife Mentors: Wow.

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Alexandra Theis: Exactly.

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The Midlife Mentors: Exactly. What have we been up to? Well, I'm struggling to remember with this heat. I was lucky enough to go paddle boarding up the River Tame around the Oxford countryside. That was very lovely. Yeah, nice for you. It was nice. Yeah. Oh, it was nice for me as well because I like my own space. So I had a whole evening, well, afternoon and evening and a morning to myself. Yeah. That was good. Yeah. Love that.

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The Midlife Mentors: Yeah, we've just been bimpling. And busy, of course, finalising the book. By the time you're hearing this podcast, listeners, we should have

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The Midlife Mentors: the final draft almost ready with our editor, we hope, but we'll keep you posted. Yes!

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The Midlife Mentors: Okay, without further ado, we're so excited about this. This is a subject I know always picks up a lot of traction. We're going to be talking finances, career. We are thrilled to be joined by Alex Theis, who is a former investment banker turned financial coach, and she especially…

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The Midlife Mentors: Works with women in midlife, helping them really take control of their finances, understand the financial landscape.

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The Midlife Mentors: and generally be financial rock stars. So, hey, Alex, welcome. Hi, Alex.

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Alexandra Theis: Hi. Thank you so much for having me. And I completely agree with Claire. It is boiling at the moment, which makes your brain go all fuzzy. But yes, thank you so much for inviting me to the podcast. I'm very excited.

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The Midlife Mentors: Not at all. It's great to have you here. Can you just tell us a little bit about your journey? How did you segue from investment banking into coaching, especially financial coaching?

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Alexandra Theis: Yeah, no, no, 100%. And I also do offer Alex Tate's coaching as well, which is personal development career coaching, but to men and women. But the Women Can Finance is really sort of my passion and my push project at the moment. So how did I transition? It's actually COVID, you know, the sort of dreaded words, COVID.

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Alexandra Theis: And, I spent, basically my commute is about an hour to and from work.

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Alexandra Theis: So if you take that away, you've got two free hours, a day where I was twiddling my thumbs, and I'm one of those people that's not very good at relaxing, I always have to be doing something. And so I think my friend sort of was like, you're an alpha female, Alex, which I'm not so sure I like that term, but, you know

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Alexandra Theis: So I was like, okay, what could I learn in this time? And I looked into psychology, but that's a five year course and I don't have the patience for five years to get qualified. So coaching and I trained with the Coaching Academy kind of made sense and it took about six or seven months. You trained with the Coaching Academy?

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The Midlife Mentors: Yeah, yeah, back in…

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Alexandra Theis: Good.

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The Midlife Mentors: Oh my goodness, actually, 2002, when they're just…

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Alexandra Theis: Out.

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The Midlife Mentors: You're one of.

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Alexandra Theis: The Guinness then, right at the start.

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The Midlife Mentors: One of the first lot to go through, so they're.

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Alexandra Theis: Good.

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The Midlife Mentors: They were amazing then, and yeah, I know they're still going strong, so I love to hear that people are still qualifying with them.

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Alexandra Theis: Yeah, they were really, really impressive, and there was a lot of, I mean, I think back in the day, they did a lot of, in-person meetings, but obviously since COVID and during COVID, it was all over Zoom, etc, which worked really well, because you were, you know, at that point, you were very enclosed in your

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Alexandra Theis: Household, which were just 2 of us at the time, so it was actually lovely to go into Zooms at night and be away from my husband for a bit and meet other people, so that was a breath of fresh air.

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Alexandra Theis: And that's how I became a personal development career coach. And then, by default, I ended up coaching a lot of women. So I've got about 2,000 hours under my belt in that area. And then I realized that a lot of women were stuck in careers because they didn't have the financial freedom to leave.

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Alexandra Theis: I have a couple of wonderful examples that we can use during the podcast to go through how the coaching helped help them escape their current burden, how they moved into something that was a lot more.

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Alexandra Theis: in tune with what they're doing, and how their whole life then changed around that. Because I believe in, like, negative energy, and I think at the time, they were so negative that nothing positive came towards them. And I think once they sorted out their finances, and they better understood they had control over it.

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Alexandra Theis: the world just changed. It was amazing. So we'll go through those stories, over the next hour or so. So that's when, probably, it was about two and a half, three years ago, I realized that actually financial coaching was very important, and obviously to focus on women.

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Alexandra Theis: And I come from, I did my accounting qualifications like 15, 16 years ago when I was actually also in investment banking. So that was a bit of a headache.

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Alexandra Theis: And then, obviously, together with the coaching, and then my economics degree, and then, obviously, 20 years in finance, I thought it kind of made sense to then move the coaching into financial. But make it fun, educational, dynamic, you know, I…

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Alexandra Theis: You don't want sort of the boring investment banking spiel. It needs to be practical and everyday. So I've sort of moved it into that corner to hit the majority of people.

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The Midlife Mentors: I love that, and I do think it's really, really important, you know, some of the people that I've coached around changing careers, I mean, midlife is that time where we've got all these hormonal changes, there's a lot that goes on, our identity shifts, our roles shift.

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The Midlife Mentors: And, and for women, they, they do get stuck. That word stuck is, is such, is so key because they don't necessarily have.

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The Midlife Mentors: the knowledge and the skills around finances to really make a move and feel safe to make a move.

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Alexandra Theis: Correct.

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The Midlife Mentors: It's that that safety element, isn't it?

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Alexandra Theis: Yeah, that's exactly it. And I think the industry is very still very much made for male language and male education.

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Alexandra Theis: And I think, I was writing some stats down. So, for example, women stand to inherit $30 trillion over the next 3 to 5 years.

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Alexandra Theis: So the amount of money that's actually going to be in female hands, and this is ultra high net worth, I get it, but it just, it's a good example of how women are beginning to control assets, but not necessarily manage it. And I feel that the financial advisory industry especially is a little bit behind the curve on that.

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Alexandra Theis: So, and women are, you know, they are risk-averse, but it's a different type of risk-averse to men. I think women are more likely to take that jump once they have more knowledge and feel more comfortable around it. And the industry's vocabulary is still very male-orientated, so the goal of Women Can Finance is to help

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Alexandra Theis: Use language that is more female-friendly, so women can then make those educated decisions, and then make that jump into investing into private, public markets, whatever it might be.

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Alexandra Theis: But it's not… the industry at the moment is not catered for that. But it should be, because, obviously, assets are changing so quickly.

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The Midlife Mentors: And that'.

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Alexandra Theis: For women in finance fills the gap.

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The Midlife Mentors: Yeah, I'm really interested. When you're working with clients, do you find it's a gap in kind of the knowledge?

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The Midlife Mentors: Or is it more, like, stuck around beliefs around.

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Alexandra Theis: Yeah, very simple.

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The Midlife Mentors: Finances, both.

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Alexandra Theis: Both, both. I mean, I remember when I went on to the one of I'm not going to mention because one of the banks trading floors when I was like 21 or something at uni and the language that used is.

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Alexandra Theis: It's very intimidating, and you do find that you don't want to ask questions, because they're probably silly questions, and then as time evolves, you end up realizing that there is a lot of jargon, and you just need to dig into it, and actually asking questions is a good thing, but it doesn't cater for that.

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Alexandra Theis: And I think, where I'm hoping to come in with Women Can Finance is to create that gap where I can cater for women to be asked… to ask those kind of questions, which might be intimidating to ask to a man.

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Alexandra Theis: Because it can be quite an intimidating world, and it is… there is a lot of jargon, and there doesn't need to be jargon, honestly. I've done this private investing course, and I have made it as simple as possible, taking out all the jargon, and it still makes sense. So there doesn't need to be jargon.

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The Midlife Mentors: I love this. I love this because I'm one of these people that find it intimidating. I do. I get it. Yeah, I find it intimidating. I think that goes back for me from school years where you're like, oh, I'm not very good at math.

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Alexandra Theis: Yeah.

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The Midlife Mentors: where you're talking about beliefs there, James, you know, that belief gets ingrained in you, and a story and a narrative gets, like, ingrained in you very early on. So, you know, you avoid, obviously, the things that you don't feel like you're very good at.

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The Midlife Mentors: or that you've got a bit of a shame around, an embarrassment around, and I think that just kind of gets drilled into us as we get older, and the more we push it away, the more alien it gets to us, so then when we get to midlife, where it really does matter, like, let's be honest, this is a time when it really matters that we're planning for the future, we're still burying our heads in the sand and going, well, I'm not very good at finances.

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The Midlife Mentors: Okay.

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Alexandra Theis: A lot of it isn't math, you know, it doesn't. And I think that's the problem. A lot of people think finance equals maths, physics, you know, economics, all those sort of the scary words that involve like those, you know, do you remember those like blue and green textbooks we used to work from?

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The Midlife Mentors: Yes.

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Alexandra Theis: You know, now whenever anybody sees light blue and green, you, like, shudder because it reminds you of the schoolroom. But it's not like that. And actually, if you start sort of scratching away at the surface, you start to realize, actually, I really get this. This makes sense. It's everyday use. You know, you see Artemis at the side of taxis. You see Fidelity advertised on the tube station.

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Alexandra Theis: Everywhere, there's indications of the stock market. You know, the Artemis sign is the stock market.

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Alexandra Theis: So it's I think it's it's just that's exactly it's trying to get beyond the values and beliefs, you know, Coaching Academy and and helping women gain confidence.

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Alexandra Theis: and emotional support to be able to start understanding, A, their money habits.

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Alexandra Theis: and B, how to save and invest better. Because, I mean, one example, I was speaking to a lady in PR who is on

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Alexandra Theis: you know, multiple seven-figure salary, and she said her husband just takes care of her whole salary. He just takes care of the bonus, the money, everything, and he invests it the way he wants to, which is fine, but I said, you know, if he gets hit by a bus tomorrow, how… where's your money?

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Alexandra Theis: And how do you know it's being invested the right way to suit what you need when you retire? And she was like, yeah, I suppose that's a good question.

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The Midlife Mentors: I didn't even consider it.

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Alexandra Theis: I did it.

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The Midlife Mentors: Wow. So it's, yeah.

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Alexandra Theis: Yeah, it's it's it's scary. And I think that's exactly it, Claire. I think it's the values and beliefs and that that inherited DNA from our school years that maybe puts I mean, now I suppose the focus on STEM has changed so much that I think Gen Z is a lot more confident.

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Alexandra Theis: But yeah, back in our day, obviously it was, yeah, it was, it was very different and education was very different.

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Alexandra Theis: I completely agree.

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The Midlife Mentors: I was going to ask actually that you've raised a good point there about Gen Z perhaps being more comfortable with investing. And I guess we've seen a bit of.

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The Midlife Mentors: a bit of democracy comes to the investment world. There's lots of apps now, you know, and there's things like Robinhood, so everyone can, like, have a little go on shares. Whereas I think, you know, in our day, midlifers, it was almost like a closed world, right? You either had an introduction to that world and someone that knew it, or you didn't.

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Alexandra Theis: Yeah, yeah.

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The Midlife Mentors: Do you think… That's a good thing now that there's much easier access to the world of investing.

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Alexandra Theis: Yeah, I think it's good. Yeah. Look, it is definitely positive. Yes, 100%. And everybody should have the freedom to understand the stock market. Yeah.

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Alexandra Theis: The only, the only downside is the risk that can be associated to it. I'm not sure whether everybody understands that. And, you know, whenever you, I'm not sure whether you've ever invested in crypto and Bitcoin, for example, but whenever you do try and do it, even if it's through Revolut, there'

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Alexandra Theis: You know, you might lose all of your investment, FYI. And I'm not sure whether the stock market do have these warning signs, but they're not as obvious. And I think there still needs to be a certain amount of education around it that's accessible for all.

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Alexandra Theis: You know, because to your point, actually, I think that's a very good point, James. People still think that in order to properly invest in the stock market, you need to have a certain high net worth, you need to be of a certain background or education, whatever it might be.

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Alexandra Theis: And I think, you know, making that education accessible to all is very important. But also, yeah, the risk awards, but also, yeah, the downside to investing is very important. I'm not sure that everybody gets the downside so much.

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Alexandra Theis: Because it's very volatile.

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The Midlife Mentors: But also, I think you've just kind of touched on a subject there between the two of you that I was thinking, that there is still… we are of that…

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The Midlife Mentors: age, I think, where it did feel like a closed society, like a secret closed society, where you still had that belief system, and I feel that this still might stand, I might be on my own with this, I can't speak for anyone else, but that you have to have a lot of money in order to invest and get the best from it. Like, there's a belief system

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The Midlife Mentors: that you have to have pots rather than just a tiny bit to invest. And that puts people off from even starting.

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Alexandra Theis: Yeah, true, true. And actually that's not the case, right? Because even in, you know, your stocks and shares ISA, it's 21,000 pounds up to 21,000 pounds. So you can put in 1000, you put in 500, you put in 2000. And the great things like, you know, things like Hargreaves Lansdowne or Interactive Brokers is they also have all the research reports there as well. So it's a

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Alexandra Theis: to get in that's, you know, tax-friendly, right, because it's nicer. You get all the research reports, which are simplified, actually. Hargreaves-Dansd

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Alexandra Theis: So you can start reading about it and then you can start actively investing. And it's a small pot of money, you know, and it's it's I think ISAs are just superb. I think it's the best way to do it. And the government is pushing us away from cash into stocks and shares because of, you know, UK Corp and what have you. So I think this is such a good opportunity for individuals who aren't of that kind of background.

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Alexandra Theis: to start investing. And it doesn't have to be 21,000, it could be 500, it could be 1,000, it doesn't matter. But places like Hargreaves, Lansdowne allow you to do it. And I work closely with another really good company called Net Wealth, which is, they invest for you, but it's pensions. They also do ISIS, etc.

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Alexandra Theis: They have a minimum threshold, but again, it's not… it's not huge, you know, you don't have to be an ultra-h

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Alexandra Theis: So and then they're very good at educating and simplifying the process. So I think it's just helping people understand that it is accessible and how to access it and where to.

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The Midlife Mentors: Love that. What do you think the biggest fear is when a woman first comes to you and she's like, Alex, I know I've buried my head in the sand for far too long and I know I need to look at this, but this is my greatest fear. What's the most common denominator?

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Alexandra Theis: I think losing it all, investing and then losing it, that's always really scary, and I don't know whether men always think of that, but women, it's, you know, we are… I hate using my risk averse, but we do tend to think worst-case scenario more, because we're inherently more protective, generally, generally. I'm gonna get into trouble.

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The Midlife Mentors: No, it makes sense. It makes sense. Totally.

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Alexandra Theis: So I, I think, I think that is the fear, and a lot of the time, actually, I'm just thinking of one woman who I've worked with, it was actually trying to figure out what the initial problem was.

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Alexandra Theis: So a lot of women just come to me being like, look, I'm really unhappy, I don't know why, and so we go through… I think the difference is, women, it's more of a journey, and men, it's… they've kind of figured it out and they want to go straight into it. Whilst a lot of the women that I coach, it tends to start with personal development and end with financial coaching.

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Alexandra Theis: Because they think they need personal development coaching, but actually, the fundamentals are the financial, and they haven't even thought about it. It's that removed from them that they haven't even thought about it.

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The Midlife Mentors: Wow. I love that because actually that's what gives them freedom.

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Alexandra Theis: Correct, which goes back to the freedom point. Yes, exactly that, which I love, because then you, you sort of see them fly. And then it's amazing, like this, this another lady I was working with was working in this amazing financial institution, earning a ridiculous amount of money, but she used to spend it all every month. And she was like, I can't get out of it. I just can't, can't leave the firm, because.

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Alexandra Theis: I'm on really good money, but my lifestyle's really expensive, but I really need to leave because I've got this other interest that I'm passion

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Alexandra Theis: So we started to sort of dig into it, and she also, you know, she was like, ugh, I can't fall in love because I don't have time, you know, I don't get to see my friends, I've lost all my hobbies, I've forgotten who I am. So there's this whole journey of unwrapping like a… like a candy paper. So we had to sort of unwrap it slowly but surely, and then

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Alexandra Theis: core of it, it was the finances. So once we got out of the bad habits and the psychology of money, we started to realize that actually, if she did this and she did that, if she changed her money habits.

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Alexandra Theis: She could then start saving to create this business. She's now in Singapore, which is obviously more tax friendly. So she sort of earns more by default from her business. You know, she's now got a long term boyfriend. It all just materialized once we got that core problem sorted.

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Alexandra Theis: Which was wonderful, it was a beautiful picture.

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The Midlife Mentors: Amazing! Because that's safety, you know, we said at the beginning, like, if you, if you give that kind of grounding and that safety.

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Alexandra Theis: Yeah, I.

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The Midlife Mentors: anyone, but to a woman, because we're talking about women, if you give that, then there's that sense of, yeah, that sense of, like, okay, I'm safe.

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Alexandra Theis: Yeah. So.

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The Midlife Mentors: That basic need, it's a basic need, isn't it? To be financially secure. So once that financial… that need is met, then I can go out and look at the other pieces of my life.

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Alexandra Theis: Correct, and then we guided her through that as well, so that's exactly it. And then, and then she sort of flew, she just, she went, you know, and we follow each other on Instagram, you know, and obviously if I go to Singapore, I'll meet up with her. But it was a beautiful story, and it took, I mean, it takes time, right? You have to be committed to it, doesn't it? It's not overnight, and I think

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Alexandra Theis: Women by default tend to be quite busy, you know, there's a lot of the mental load that we haven't talked about, so it's, it's trying to, I try and work around everybody's diary, so if it means doing a call at 9 o'clock at night or over the weekend to fit around everybody's diaries, then you know, so be it.

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Alexandra Theis: And there is a certain amount of online stuff as well that I'm now doing that people can access their own time. But you need people to be motivated to do that. And right at the beginning, people don't tend to be.

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Alexandra Theis: So it's, it's, yeah, it's a bit of a catch-22. You need, you need to be mentally prepared to

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Alexandra Theis: And once you're in it, you need to maintain that momentum, and obviously life throws things at you that might distract you. So, that's why the one-on-one, in-person coaching tends to help.

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Alexandra Theis: Like over a glass of wine is wonderful.

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The Midlife Mentors: Yeah, I agree. It's like an accountability piece, isn't it? When you know.

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Alexandra Theis: Yeah.

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The Midlife Mentors: Bring up for your coach.

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Alexandra Theis: Yes.

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The Midlife Mentors: I had one of my coaching clients this morning, and she was like… she knew that she had to get stuff, kind of, in her head, and a pattern paper, and she had to have, kind of, thinking about the session.

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Alexandra Theis: Yep.

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The Midlife Mentors: And that's the accountability piece.

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Alexandra Theis: Correct. Exactly. Exactly. And if you pay, yeah.

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The Midlife Mentors: Yeah.

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Alexandra Theis: down some money. You kind of have to. That's exactly it. So that does help. And it's finding that sort of income threshold that makes people more accountable.

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The Midlife Mentors: Hmm.

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Alexandra Theis: Right? But also makes you so attractive. Yeah.

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The Midlife Mentors: Alex, I'm really interested in, like, I guess the psychology side of finances and investing. What are some of the most common limiting beliefs you come across when you speak to people, and then how do you go about changing those?

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Alexandra Theis: With regards to money habits, for example.

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The Midlife Mentors: Yeah, money, yeah.

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Alexandra Theis: Yeah, so I think what I have noticed that a lot of people use their credit card.

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Alexandra Theis: Because it's easy financing and then they sort of pay it off when they need to over time. And that's dangerous, obviously, with rates where they are. So that seems to be the case. People tend to pay a lot more on their credit than they should do. Klarna has been lethal. I mean, it's a great firm and it's done very well, but it's been really dangerous because.

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The Midlife Mentors: Okay.

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Alexandra Theis: You know, you can sort of pay something off in the future and we can worry about it then, kind of mindset.

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Alexandra Theis: So, I think, I think there's a lot of… well, I'll just… there's a lot of spontaneity in the system, right? And there just is in modern day. I'll worry about it in the future. And I think that's been the dilemma of a lot of people that I've spoken to.

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Alexandra Theis: Everything from, you know, getting beauty treatments and paying it off over the next six months to, you know, buying school books for your kids.

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Alexandra Theis: To Hermes and Chanel handbags, and I think that's a big concern, and I think people are like, well, you know, I earn a certain amount and I spend a certain amount of months, but they don't always account for the credit card and all these extra bits that they've signed up for, and I think that's the dangerous addendum that people ignore.

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Alexandra Theis: And it's just easy to do in the moment, but then you forget about it when it actually comes to the day of paying, you know, and you're down £4,000. That's scary. And I'm seeing that over and over again.

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Alexandra Theis: So I think it's trying to bring people to the present a lot more, A, and making them figure out why they need to spend this money. Kids school books I get, but, you know, XYZ beauty treatment, okay, they're great salespeople, but do you really need it? You know, that extra Chanel handbag, do you really need it?

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Alexandra Theis: Why do you need it, you know, and I think it's getting to the bottom of it, why, and a lot of the time with, with women in particular, it tends to be.

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Alexandra Theis: It's the endorphin hit, right? When you buy something beautiful, and then you tend to forget about it in a week's time. It's that. So, a lot of the time, and it's the usual things, there's an amazing lady called Mia McGrath on Instagram. She's very young, but she's doing a really good job around helping Gen Z realize their spending habits.

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Alexandra Theis: And, you know, one of her things was, like, leave it in the basket, and then…

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Alexandra Theis: If you forget about it in three days, don't buy it. But if it's bugging you and you really love it, buy it. So it's almost, it's almost like that mindset of don't be spontaneous, don't buy it.

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The Midlife Mentors: it.

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Alexandra Theis: And get into the habit of it. So leave post-it notes all over the house in the, you know, bathroom window, sorry, mirror or in, you know, on the cupboard mirrors, post-it notes saying don't spend now, spend when you really, really need it. Just remind yourself of post-it notes, reminders on your phone or whatever it might be.

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The Midlife Mentors: Yeah, yeah. It's, that instant gratification world that we live in now.

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Alexandra Theis: Yeah, it's dangerous.

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The Midlife Mentors: It's a gamification kind of world. It's so easy to buy, right? And it's become.

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Alexandra Theis: Yep.

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The Midlife Mentors: I think it's become another form of distraction, so it's almost like, oh, I'll scroll my phone and buy some stuff.

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Alexandra Theis: Yeah.

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The Midlife Mentors: And it's not because you really need it or want it, it's just like I'm distracting myself.

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Alexandra Theis: Correct.

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The Midlife Mentors: Like you said.

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Alexandra Theis: Yeah, exactly. That's exactly and I think, you know, and then a lot of people moan of, oh, I'm just not getting my jobs done.

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Alexandra Theis: You know, which then goes into personal development. I'm, you know, I'm, I'm procrastinating. I'm not motivated enough. I'm and it's, you know, the simple solution is move your phone into another room, lock it in a box and swallow the key. Isn't it great?

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The Midlife Mentors: Crazy that we…

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Alexandra Theis: Thank you.

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The Midlife Mentors: Into a world where we have, where we're, it's, it's such an addiction, and it's been built that way, that we have to go to these insane measures of, of, there are actually boxes now.

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Alexandra Theis: Yeah, I know.

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The Midlife Mentors: You have to lock your phone away and it won't open until a certain time.

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Alexandra Theis: Excellent.

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The Midlife Mentors: What a crazy… but I'm… I'm not sitting here on my high horse. I… I have, like, an app that restricts,

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The Midlife Mentors: times of which I'm allowed to go on certain things, because I found that my willpower, which is finite and just not a decent measure of how much I can kind of withhold myself from picking up my phone. So actually, you have to take these crazy measures.

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Alexandra Theis: Yeah, yeah. To be disciplined, right? Which I think, you know, in our parents' generation, it was just inherent.

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The Midlife Mentors: Yes, yeah.

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Alexandra Theis: Okay.

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The Midlife Mentors: Say.

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Alexandra Theis: And I do wonder whether all these, you know, and we're sort of digressing a bit, but, you know, these, a lot of issues that modern day brings is, you know, obviously things to do with attention and not being able to focus. I want… there is obviously a pure correlation with phones and screens and everything else with that, and I'm sure we've always had that problem.

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Alexandra Theis: But I think it's amplified on the back of having a screen constantly available to scroll through. It relaxes you.

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The Midlife Mentors: Yeah, totally.

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Alexandra Theis: I do find that is the problem 100% with a lot of my clients now. It's that instant gratification. And I think, yeah, and they get that dopamine hit by spending 20 quid on a cream and then 40 quid on this and 50 quid on that. And all of a sudden, you know, you spend 250 pounds in a day, and you've kind of forgotten what you bought.

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The Midlife Mentors: I've got a question for you. This is quite interesting, I think, from a cultural perspective. Do you think we're living in a kind of…

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The Midlife Mentors: obviously, we're living in a very consumerist society, but you think there's, like, this illusion of affluence now, and let me… let me explain this. Like, I remember in my parents' time, you know, you'd see one car on the drive of a house. That's because people had to buy their car outright.

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Alexandra Theis: Yep.

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The Midlife Mentors: It wasn't financed. I remember my parents would be like, okay, let's go through the cash flow. Can we afford this? Can we afford that? Whereas now, like you were just flexing there, you can buy something. It's like, oh, I don't have to worry about paying for it for six months down the line.

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Alexandra Theis: Yes.

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The Midlife Mentors: So it's a lot of what we're seeing. You see, you go past houses now, even in like low income or no income areas, there's like four new cars on the drive and you're like, what's going on here?

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Alexandra Theis: And a massive TV in the front room, and yeah, yeah, yeah.

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The Midlife Mentors: So it's got easier to get this stuff. And I guess that is probably one of the drivers of the economy. But I guess my big question is like, is there a danger to that and that we're storing something up down the line that there's a lot of unsecured debt floating around out there?

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Alexandra Theis: Huge. And I think that is one of the problems with the economy at the moment and could be the next bubble. I mean, everybody's talking about AI, right? But that's for a certain type of person, you know, and pensions, et cetera, might be affected, which is why, again, you need to be on top of where your money's going because you've got 75 % of your pension AI

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Alexandra Theis: But I do think the other bubble is, 100% that. It's consumer finance and consumer debt. It's huge. Huge, huge, huge. And I think if rates carry on going, I mean, obviously a lot depends on the state of Hormuz and Iran, et cetera, but, you know, we are going through an inflationary

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Alexandra Theis: Point in our lives and I think going back to 0% interest rates that that was in the past, right, with quantitative easing, etc. That's not going to happen anymore. We have to get accustomed to a 4 or 5% interest rate. You know, hopefully if it goes down 3% for my mortgage next year, that'd be great. But you know, I think we have to get accustomed to that and we need to save according to that and we need to get into the mindset of that. You're 100% right and I don't think we're there.

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Alexandra Theis: especially our generation that, you know, we lived through the 2008 financial crisis and QE and, you know, debt was easy, and so now we have to get used to suddenly being prepared to account for that. I remember you mentioned, obviously, our parents having to account for every penny.

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Alexandra Theis: you know, I remember my dad had a spreadsheet, like, a physical spreadsheet at the end of every month, where he'd sort of, you know, go through sort of the P&L of the household. Sort of proper, like, you know, discounted cash flow analysis. He was an accountant, but not.

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Alexandra Theis: But I think, you know, in order to keep the household functioning, he had to do this, and we've kind of lost that a little bit, and we just hope for the best at the end of every month.

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The Midlife Mentors: Yeah. I'm going to ask a question. If someone's listening to this and they're thinking, this all sounds great, but right now I'm recognizing my finances are in a bad way and I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed, what advice would you give them?

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Alexandra Theis: So, I would say, start looking at all your subscriptions. Go through all your subscriptions on your Apple phone. I think there's… oh, this is me going back to technology, but I know how to do it. But you basically go into the main menu, and there's, like, an Apple subscriptions bit right at the top. Go through that and figure out where all your subscriptions are, and whether you actually need them.

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Alexandra Theis: A prime example, I was watching Apple TV, there was a show that we were watching 6 months ago, and I forgot that we'd subscribed to Apple TV to watch the show.

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Alexandra Theis: You know, that's like 10 pounds a month. So, and I had a reminder on my phone and then I got distracted and then I just looked again yesterday and I was like, Oh my God, we're still paying for it. I actually haven't been on Apple TV now for three months. So go through your subscriptions and just make sure whether you 100% need them.

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Alexandra Theis: And then look at your credit cards. Look at where you have your credit cards, look at the rates, look at how much that's costing you, and start paying off your debt first.

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Alexandra Theis: And if you want help to pay off your debt, then we can start… I can… I've got a spreadsheet that I work through where it's a bit boring to start with, but you start putting in, you know, all your expenses, your incomings, and we can start figuring out which expenses are necessary and which ones aren't, and start working through cutting them out.

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The Midlife Mentors: Brilliant. And if a woman has, is, well, is listening to this, and she's just, she's also recognized some of the psychological

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The Midlife Mentors: barriers that are holding her back. Some of those belief systems are becoming aware. You might want to push them away, but they're kind of bubbling up on the surface as you're listening to this podcast.

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The Midlife Mentors: And…

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The Midlife Mentors: What would you say to that woman that was… maybe, like, the word is a bit of shame, a bit of embarrassment. Like, what would you say to her, about those emotional sides of looking at her finances?

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Alexandra Theis: I don't, I mean, I don't think, and there's definitely nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about whatsoever, you know, 100%, this is A, normal, you know, and I think, and, and B,

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Alexandra Theis: why not start now, right? I mean, there's nothing… I think the great thing with having a female coach, and then I also have IFAs that I work with that tend to be female, but there are men in there as well, because it's whoever offers the best rate.

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Alexandra Theis: But, you know, I think there is… there's no time like now. Depending… it doesn't matter what your age is, doesn't matter what your experience is, doesn't matter what your background is, we can work through it together.

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Alexandra Theis: And you should take away all those limiting beliefs and we'll show you how to do it because honestly it's not rocket science, it's easy to do, it can be a bit dull, it can be a bit boring, but once we're through that boring bit, we can start working on you.

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Alexandra Theis: and why these money habits are in place, and start getting rid of those money habits. And a lot of them are to do with your personal development, your insecurities, and everything else, and we work through that together. And trust me, everybody has insecurities, you know, even… even Donald Trump has insecurities, which is why he is Donald Trump, by the way. Yeah, yes!

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The Midlife Mentors: Thanks.

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Alexandra Theis: Good, I'll miss that.

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The Midlife Mentors: Yeah, and I think it's that childhood thing. I think also, like some of the stuff I've seen, you know, a lot of those beliefs are forms when we're young.

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Alexandra Theis: Yeah.

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The Midlife Mentors: So around money, particularly when we've seen our parents or caregivers have a certain, reaction to money or certain belief systems around money, a lot of the time we take that on as our own. Yeah.

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Alexandra Theis: Yeah, yeah.

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The Midlife Mentors: Don't really mean we need to carry that through the rest of our life.

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Alexandra Theis: That's actually, that is spot on. That is spot on because a lot of the time when I speak to my clients, they'd say my parents are really hard up, you know, and they've done it. The parents were really hard up and paid for the kids education for them to get to a certain place. So again, personal development with financial coaching. So we've got to a certain place and now we're not happy, but we're making the income that our parents could only dream of.

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Alexandra Theis: So there's a lot of that happening, right? Because parents argue when we were younger, parents would tell me over and over again that we're working so hard. We've got five jobs.

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The Midlife Mentors: Yes.

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Alexandra Theis: university to get you to do medicine or whatever it might be, we're now doing it, we're now making money that's, like, unbelievable, but I'm still not happy. So then you're having to unwind all those beliefs that were created during childhood, and who you actually are is really difficult after 40 years worth of it, right?

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Alexandra Theis: You're living a life that actually isn't yours, so how do we get you back onto that path?

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The Midlife Mentors: Yes, I realise what is true.

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Alexandra Theis: Yeah, he used.

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The Midlife Mentors: Yes.

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Alexandra Theis: Correct. Correct. Exactly that. So that's… that's really important. I mean, like, yeah, I mean, I think one of the reasons why I'm doing this is 100% that. Like, I… my parents are very happily married, but, you know, the one thing they used to always argue about was money. You know, always. Dad used to jump from, like.

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Alexandra Theis: Yeah, he used to, he used to try and sort of awe the credit card companies, you know, to try and, you know, pay for this or pay for that for the children. It was always for the kids.

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Alexandra Theis: But it was, yeah, it was always about money, always. So, I think, you know, I don't… and I do think now that, you know, the world is where it is, where everything's so much more accessible, I don't think there's a need to argue about money anymore. There's so much you can do to make money, and to protect yourself with it.

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Alexandra Theis: So much more to them when we were younger, right? I mean, the options were a lot more limited back then. There are a lot more options now, which cause their own problems.

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Alexandra Theis: But again, we all have a heritage as to why we are doing what we're doing now.

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The Midlife Mentors: Yes, I love that. I'm loving this. Sharing that. Yeah.

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Alexandra Theis: Yeah, it's all right.

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The Midlife Mentors: So let's say that we're not overwhelmed anymore. So we've done everything you've said, and we've looked at our beliefs, and now we're ready. We're ready to start investing. Where's a good place to start? If.

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Alexandra Theis: Oh.

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The Midlife Mentors: Oh, you've been paying attention. I've been paying attention.

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Alexandra Theis: Definitely not crypto.

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The Midlife Mentors: Yet.

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Alexandra Theis: Can you see me? Am I still.

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The Midlife Mentors: Yeah, it's all good.

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Alexandra Theis: I got, yeah, random call. Sorry, it's probably one of those 0800 numbers.

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The Midlife Mentors: Yeah, it's probably someone trying to scam you.

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Alexandra Theis: Yeah, no.

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The Midlife Mentors: Exactly.

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Alexandra Theis: Car finance!

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The Midlife Mentors: I can tell we're talking about finance and they want to sell some crypto.

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Alexandra Theis: Zoom, it's the algorithm again, it's the Zoom algorithm that's linked to Instagram somehow. Beyond me, because I'm of a certain generation, but I'm sure it's all connected.

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Alexandra Theis: But, so yeah, so questions. So, if you want to start small, I'd probably say, again, in your ISA, I'd probably say work with someone like a Hargreaves Lansdowne, work on stocks and shares. ETFs are an easy one, because they're super liquid, so if you need to access the money, which I'd say probably

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Alexandra Theis: not to in an ISA, because you have to wait longer to get those returns in, but if you have to, you can do it overnight. And make it diversified, so focus on stocks and shares, try a little bit of bonds, try a little bit in the FX if needs be, and then obviously commodities, because we're going through a commodity supercycle at the moment.

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Alexandra Theis: So diversify it. And I'm not a financial advisor. They're more qualified to say, you know, which fund structures to go into and which funds, like I mentioned, RTMS earlier, if that's one versus BlackRock versus Fidelity.

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Alexandra Theis: But diversification is key, and then I think, you know, through ETF structures makes more sense, because it's a structure that's already been built with a number of blocks inside it, so it's already by default diversified, as opposed to just buying Vodafone, for example.

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Alexandra Theis: But if you believe in, you know, silver's going to have a super cycle, for example, then I'd recommend buying, like, an ETF silver, or a silver and ETF, for example, or ETF and silver. ETF and silver, through a wisdom tree or someone like that. But, you know, Hargreaves Lansdowne, again, has all this information available.

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Alexandra Theis: And they also have IFAs on hand that can say, right, you know, you're a beginner.

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Alexandra Theis: you know, do this, this, and this, and then they can say, oh, I speak to Alex, who recommend diversified portfolio. So just… because some of these IFAs do need to be kept in check as well.

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Alexandra Theis: Because if, you know, they go with what's easy, and if the S&P 500's easy, they'll put 100% of your ISO into that. But if you actually look into the S&P 500, a lot of that is AI, and we're about to go into an AI bubble.

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Alexandra Theis: So, do you really want all of your eyes in AI? You know, again, diversification is key. So, I just… I just help maintain around the edges where I can, and where it's legally advisable, given I'm not a financial advisor. But it's worth keeping check on them, because sometimes they don't always… yeah, do what's best, I think.

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The Midlife Mentors: Yeah. Amazing. Alex, honestly, this has been really fascinating, insightful. Is there anything that you feel we haven't covered that you would like to say to our audience listening to this podcast? Anything that we haven't covered or anything that you'd like?

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Alexandra Theis: Okay.

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The Midlife Mentors: them to think about.

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Alexandra Theis: That's a very good point.

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Alexandra Theis: I mean, I also, one of the big, one of the big examples that I have is, it's so important to keep track, whether you control them or not, but keep track of your finances.

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Alexandra Theis: So one of my clients I've been speaking to, she's a little bit older, I think, than us, but her husband died tragically in an accident, and he was controlling all the finances, and they have.

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Alexandra Theis: Kids, school fees, one's at university, and it's taken her about a year to dig into all of the different locations of that money.

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Alexandra Theis: So, even if you don't feel confident enough to invest, at least make sure that there is a

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Alexandra Theis: trail of where the money is going, because you don't know where life's going to lead you. So if you don't feel comfortable investing, he's investing for you, or she's investing for you, just make sure that there's something on file for you to refer to, to make your life easier if something awful happens, because you're going to be in an emotional roller coaster ride. And the last thing you want to think about is, where are the finances?

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Alexandra Theis: So, just make sure the will, if trusts are set up, that all of that, just really be on top of your finances and all the inheritance tax and tax efficiencies around that.

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Alexandra Theis: So speak to an IFA, speak to a pension provider, and again, I can make links and introduce where possible, but really be on top of it, because you don't know what's going to happen tomorrow. And it is awful when you're in that horrible state of losing somebody just overnight, to then have to start thinking about cash straight away, right? It's not fair.

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Alexandra Theis: But because they just weren't prepared for it, they the will didn't it was they didn't even have a will in place.

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Alexandra Theis: It's, it's just, it's very, very messy process. So, you know, I think only something like 56% of people actually have wills in place. So just be on top of all of it. You know, just, I know it's a headache, and I know it's costly, and it is, it doesn't have to be costly. Again, we've got people who are fairly reasonable, but, you know, just be on top of it. It is so important.

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Alexandra Theis: So I think that would probably be my key message.

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The Midlife Mentors: really important one to leave. I'm glad that I asked you that question, because that.

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Alexandra Theis: Hit.

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The Midlife Mentors: It sounds simple, right?

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Alexandra Theis: It is, yeah.

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The Midlife Mentors: where your money's going, but actually… And how to access it. And how to access it. How to access it. And it is very simple.

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The Midlife Mentors: Yeah, and it's bitty, exactly, and it's like, oh, it's gonna take too long, it's a bit of a hassle, but you're right, you know, you don't want to end up in that scenario.

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Alexandra Theis: Yep.

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The Midlife Mentors: Where you're grieving and having to worry about money straight away.

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Alexandra Theis: you're looking after the children, and then you're suddenly thinking, well, how am I going to pay the mortgage? What bank account was.

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The Midlife Mentors: And.

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Alexandra Theis: You know, all of that, right?

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The Midlife Mentors: Okay.

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Alexandra Theis: So I think that's key. And I think actually one of my plans in the future is to create some kind of app that can.

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Alexandra Theis: help a family figure out where everything is. So, you know, the will feeds into this app, and then the trust feeds into the will, which feeds into the app, which, you know, so it's all in one.

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The Midlife Mentors: Do it! If there are any investors out there listening to this and they want to invest in the app.

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Alexandra Theis: We have.

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The Midlife Mentors: Right.

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Alexandra Theis: I know, that would be great. That's exactly it. I need to save now to do this idea.

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The Midlife Mentors: Yeah, bless you.

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Alexandra Theis: The next step.

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The Midlife Mentors: Alex, this has been amazing. If people want to find out more about you, where can they learn more about you and your coaching?

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Alexandra Theis: So the website, Alex Hayes Coaching, and obviously Instagram, Women Can Finance.

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The Midlife Mentors: Brilliant. We'll put that in the show notes. We'll put that in the show notes. Thank you. And you're, an amazing force in the world. Like, honestly, your city's really amazing, and what you're doing.

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Alexandra Theis: Cute.

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The Midlife Mentors: Very, very important. So I really appreciate you coming on our podcast.

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Alexandra Theis: Thank you. Well, thank you for inviting me. Honestly, I really appreciate it. And it's a pleasure meeting you both. And hopefully we can have a glass of rose when the weather calms down.

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The Midlife Mentors: Yeah, that'll be.

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Alexandra Theis: On the weather.

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The Midlife Mentors: Lots of love, Alex, thank you.

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Alexandra Theis: Good to meet you both. Take care. Bye. Bye.