The Daily Recharge Podcast Hosted By Jovie J. Sumner

July 15 Episode 21 The Importance Of Understanding Your Needs & Desires

• Jovie J. Sumner

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Breakthrough Boss host & coach Jovie comes fired up and alive with another insightful episode encouraging listeners to begin to discover and understand their deepest needs and desires. Learning about ourselves and our own needs and desires can give us not only tremendous pleasure and fulfillment, but it can also help us to know why we often do many of the things that we do or don't do. Knowing yourself at the deepest levels can also positively impact the quality of your life, relations, business, finances and every area of your life as well. But hey don't take my word for it, dive in, listen and learn from today's Daily Recharge now!


Recorded Live From BreakThrough Boss Studios:

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Title Track: Stomping Rock (Four Shots)
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Speaker 1:

What is the pleasure of understanding yourself and your needs? All right, all right, all right. I want to take the time to say thank you to everyone for tuning in to another great episode of the Daily Recharge Breakthrough Boss Podcast. I'm your host, joby J Sumner, and today's daily protocol is all about the pleasure of understanding yourself and prioritizing your needs and your desires, and so we'll go ahead and jump right in.

Speaker 1:

Throughout my life, I've realized that it is very important for us to one understand what our needs are and to prioritize how we can meet our needs and our desires. And what really brought this up for me was realizing how, in my relationship with my wife, I was expecting for her to meet my needs. And as I look back and think about my life, I've come to understand that this is one of the most important things that you can do for yourself is to one begin to understand how you tick, how you function and what your needs are. Now we understand, per Tony Robbins, that we all have six human needs as human beings. Those needs, in no particular order, are the need for uncertainty, the need for certainty, the need for significance or attention, the need for love, the need for growth and the need for contribution, with growth and contribution being needs of the spirit, and the other four human needs being needs of the personality. This is a fact, and every single human being has the same needs. What varies is how we meet these needs from one human being to another. In other words, we all can go about meeting them in different ways, meeting them in different ways, and, for me, one of the things that I have had to learn about myself is that how I meet my needs as a person who is single is a little bit different than how I meet my needs when I'm in a relationship and, obviously, as a married man.

Speaker 1:

There are certain ways that my wife does meet my needs. There are certain ways that I go about meeting her needs, and then I'm discovering there are ways that I think she should meet my needs, and really what I'm learning is that it's not so much that she has to meet my needs in that way as much as me understanding this is an expectation, because this is how I like for my needs to be met, which is a little bit different, because we never want to expect people to do things for us, because we can set ourselves up for failure, and anyone can do this, especially when you're in a relationship. But it could be business, it could be any area of your life, it can even be with your own self, which is again why it's so important to really understand, or begin to understand, how you meet your needs and what is the importance of that to you. For example, when I get up in the morning, there are certain things that I do to accomplish what I want. That makes me feel certain, it makes me feel significant. If I go out and I volunteer, it meets my need for contribution, it meets my need for growth and maybe some other needs as well. So you want to begin to really understand yourself and look at your life and figure out why you're doing what you're doing or why you're not doing what you're not doing, because, at the end of the day, the majority of the things we do or don't do, they revolve around these six human needs in some way or another, and you can meet those needs in more than one way.

Speaker 1:

So the first thing we have to do is gain an understanding about how we tick and which needs we are meeting, which needs we may feel are not being met, and by doing this, this allows us to understand ourselves better so that we don't project unexpected disappointments or needs going unmet onto the people who we are involved with and again, that could be business partners, it could be colleagues, it could be your spouse, your girlfriend, whoever but we have to begin with ourselves, the man or the woman in the mirror. The reason why we have to do that is because not to do so means that you're not taking care of yourself and your own needs and desires, and now you're showing up into other situations and you are expecting someone else to do that for you, for you, which you are unwilling to do for yourself, which is unreasonable. And this is one of those things where it's a process of your journey and understanding yourself at a deeper level, at a soul level, if you will, but it's so important because how can we really know others if we really don't even know ourselves? So, as we begin to understand our needs on a deeper level, we can communicate that not only with ourselves, but we can also communicate it with the people who we are involved with, so that they can show up how they need to show up for us and also saw how we can show up for how we need to show up to do the same thing and reciprocate for those others who we love and care for as well, or who we want to have great relationships as well.

Speaker 1:

The next thing is we have to understand what our desires are, because I think so often in life it is easy to have desires, but we can't be vague about it, because if we're vague about it and then we don't have our expectations met, or if we're vague about it and we're not getting what we want really, we can only take ownership and take responsibility for that part of it ourselves, because we don't have clarity specifically about hey, here's what I desire to have. This is how much. This is by when. This is why we have to understand those parts of the equation what do I want? Why do I want it? How can I get it? Why is this important to me?

Speaker 1:

We have to understand those parts of ourselves for a lot of different reasons, the most important reason being because you have to have clarity. If you don't know what you want, how can anyone else know what you want? And this is what we all do sometimes, myself included. Sometimes it's almost like we want other people, or the universe or others, or just whoever, to read our minds and make things happen for us. And in reality, if we don't know what we want, we can't even make it happen for ourselves because we haven't taken the time to define it. And if we haven't taken the time to define what we really want, and why is that important to us? In some ways we are suggesting that is really not that important to us. Which brings me to my next point.

Speaker 1:

My friend, mike Pepler, always says to me people only do what's important to them, and if you listen to this podcast, I'm sure you've heard me say that before. And I'm so grateful for that statement that he shared with me throughout my life because as I have gotten to know myself better, I've realized there's a great truth to this. Oftentimes, consciously, we don't realize we do what's important. We don't do the things that are not important, because the things that are important we make time for, we find a way we get those things done. Those things are a must to us and they get done. And for the things that are not, or for the things that are kind of, you know, you kind of feel meh about it, it's like we approach it casually, we don't approach it with a sense of urgency, we don't approach it with A strong sense of belief or desire or commitment or dedication.

Speaker 1:

Oftentimes, this is why we come up empty handed in certain areas of our lives is because we don't have that clarity and, at the same time, it's not really that important to us, even though we may sometimes say that it's important to us. The proof is in the pudding, and that's one of those truth bombs where it's like, it's kind of like you know, you just got to eat that one. It's one of those things where it makes you want to cry, but we all got to. We got to be truthful with ourselves, first and foremost, and then, secondly, with others, and the beauty about that, though, is if you're willing to be truthful about you, about that, with yourself, if you're willing to say hey, look, this is something I desire to have, but I've been unwilling, in this area, to put in the time and the commitment, the energy, the effort or whatever it may be. You didn't have the opportunity to pivot and shift and change it and make it the way that you want it to be. However, until you're willing to do that, until you're willing to come to terms with hey, this is, this is something I've been. I've been given a lot of talk about, but I haven't been really walking the walk. I've just been talking to talk.

Speaker 1:

Until until you're willing to come to that moment of surrender, you really don't have the ability to change it. You always have the ability to change it, however, only from a place of truth, only from a place of coming to terms with the facts and the reality of what the current and present truth is for you in your life. Once you do that, you then have the ability and, I believe, the obligation to yourself to begin at once to go about changing it and making it the way that you want it to be, because, really, the first step to change is awareness. So I say that to tie it all in, because, as we become better about understanding how we can meet our own needs and desires, as we begin to take pleasure in learning about ourselves, discovering more about ourselves hey, this is what makes me tick and, again, this takes some time. This is not like a fly-by-night operation where you can just read a book once or twice or just do something a few times and then you got it. This is kind of an ongoing part of your journey because you have to remember, we are all evolving Every single day. You're evolving Every month. You have new cells, your skin replenishes itself. You are evolving in ways that sometimes you may not even be aware of, but you're always transforming. That's evolution by scientific research, that's evolution, it's the process of evolution. So we're always evolving.

Speaker 1:

So, with that being said, we have to realize that the more we understand and discover about ourselves and how we are showing up and what it takes for us to feel fulfilled or happy or to accomplish what we want or to have what we desire to have, we really have to understand what meets our needs and desires, what makes us happy, what makes us sad, what makes us excited, what makes us energized, what makes us want to avoid certain things. And you don't have to know it all. However, you do have to come from a place of a solid foundation of understanding at least the fundamentals about yourself. You know, some people are people like if you read that book, the Five Love Languages. Some people, they get their need for love met by gifts. Some people words of affirmation. Some people quality time. Some people, it's like, by taking action, and everyone's a little bit different. You can have more than one. I just use that that's a great book, but, by the way, if you're in a relationship or you want to be in a relationship, I highly recommend that book the Five Love Languages if you haven't read it yet.

Speaker 1:

However, my point being that you want to come from that space of understanding and knowing about yourself, and sometimes we're showing up in our relationships and we want other people to do for us what really we're not willing to do for ourselves. So if you're not willing to learn about yourself or discover what makes you happy and what makes you tick, how can you expect someone else to do that? Because most people, again, don't even know this about themselves. They may know some things, and that's a great beginning, but the more you know about yourself and the more you know about your partner or the people who you're in relationships with, the more you can not only meet your own needs and desires, the more you can also meet their needs and desires. And the one thing that is for certain is that if you can meet someone's needs and desires and turn them into a raven fan, that person will never want to be without you. And that is the goal. You want to be outstanding. You want to be so great at how you show up for yourself and for those who you love, that you create Raven fans, that you create people who would rather die than to be without you.

Speaker 1:

Almost I mean that's a bit extreme, but I'm just saying this is how we want to approach learning to take care of ourselves. First and foremost, you need to be your own number one client and Raven fan, and then you can begin to convert others into your number one client and Raven fan as well. And that's in all aspects of life, that's in your relationships, that's in business, work, whatever. This is how we want to approach it. And again, this came to me from just understanding that if someone doesn't do something, I expect them to do there again, that's an expectation, and we know we want to trade our expectations for appreciation. If we just appreciate people, everything will change. Change. However, sometimes we have an expectation, then it doesn't get met and it's like we're looking at someone else like you failed me, you didn't meet my fucking need, or you disappointed me, and it's like no, we kind of set ourselves up for that because we were expecting them to do things for us or understand us in ways that maybe we haven't even begun to learn to understand ourselves. So that's my final message for you for the day before we close out today's daily protocol is that you want to really do some deep diving with yourself. Again.

Speaker 1:

Your six human needs certainty, uncertainty, significance, love, growth, contribution. Take some time to understand how you're going about meeting these needs. What do you get out of it? And once you begin to do that, understand what do you find pleasure in these needs? What gives you pleasure about these needs? What are the things you want to avoid when you meet your needs? Now you can show up and you can meet your own needs and desires. You can take care of yourself, and there's such great pleasure in that. And now we won't be expecting other people to meet our needs, because we know how to meet our needs for ourselves For one, we know what our desires are.

Speaker 1:

We can take care of our own needs and desires. And now we come from a place of self-reliance. We come from a place of sufficiency and we feel that we're able to contribute and give more to those who we are involved with. We feel that we're able to contribute and give more to those who we are involved with instead of coming with empty hands like we're begging for them to do for us what really sometimes we can only do for ourselves. So take some time to think about that and just carve out some time to do some self-discovery on this and I promise you you will find such great pleasure and the rewards that you will reap if you take the time to do this and learn and understand what your needs and desires are and the pleasure that you can gain from it. That's all I got for you, guys, today. As always, I want to remind you to stay focused, stay disciplined, stay dedicated and stay hungry, because lines are always hungry for more. Sending you love, light, peace and prosperity. God bless, guys. You Thank you.