Belonging Starts with Language feat. Lori Baker

In this episode of Taking Back Monday, Alyssa sits down with Lori Baker to talk about language, belonging, and the hidden barriers people face at work. Lori went from engineer to English teacher for international professionals, and her story shows how much language shapes confidence and inclusion.

This conversation is a reminder that work isn’t just about skills on paper. It’s about how we communicate, connect, and make space for people to bring their full selves into the workplace.

Why listen: If you’ve ever worked across cultures, led a team, or wanted to create a more welcoming workplace, this episode gives you practical insight into why language matters and how empathy changes everything.

3 key takeaways:
» Language shapes how people are seen at work… and it doesn’t always match their true expertise.
» Belonging requires more than translation… it’s about cultural awareness and empathy.
» Success looks different for everyone… the American dream is personal, not one-size-fits-all.

It's time to say "goodbye" to the Sunday Scaries.

Connect with Alyssa
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alyssanolte/
Subscribe to the Taking Back Monday Newsletter: https://www.linkedin.com/newsletters/7158635254474272768/
Follow the show on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TakingBackMondayPod
Follow the show on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@takingbackmondaypod

Transcript

0:01

Hey everyone. Welcome back to taking back Monday. I'm so glad that you decided to say goodbye to the Sunday Scaries and hello to a brand new future of work. My name is Alyssa Nolte I'm Lori Baker. And we are going to have a fantastic conversation today. So Lori, let's get right into it. What is your origin story? Um, my origin story is. First of all, I started out as an engineer and now I teach English as a second language. Never thought those two things would be together, but it just shows you how your journey can be different from what you plan. Um, right now I teach English to international professionals that relocate to the us and one day she told me that she was talking to some of her colleagues here in Spanish. Somebody actually came up to her and told her to stop speaking Spanish in the workplace, and I could not believe that they were so rude to tell somebody to not speak their native language to friends that also spoke that language. Um, and I realized how we as native speak, native English speakers. Need to reach out and be empathetic to that person's journey and help them along in their, in the changes that they've chosen to take, to move to a new culture, but also to help them, um, come to realize that they're part of our community now. So I love teaching. New international student or new international professionals, English, to help them settle in a little better, get more comfortable in their community because I see it like inviting a new friend over to my house, Love that. Let's go back a little bit and talk about that transition from engineer to ESL. Teacher supporter, like how, what is the pipeline that goes from someone who is in engineering, which I don't think of as, and this is maybe my stereotype, but like I don't think of it as a true like peopley role. No. No, not at all. It is not. Um, I grew up thinking I was going, going to work in a manufacturing plant, um, as an engineer, so very little interaction with people. But I became a mom, which I think changes a lot of people's viewpoint on things. Um, I realized that people do matter and our interaction with people need to be as positive as we can make it. Um, the, the actual shift was that I was volunteering for a ESL program, um, doing spreadsheets. Because they needed somebody to count books and money and things. And, um, I met a guy there from Venezuela that was in construction in high rise, um, concrete verification. And he and I just clicked and speaking that same engineering language. I realized that I approached it in a different way as an analytical person versus like a more linguistic, traditional English teacher. Yeah, I never would've thought engineer English teacher in the same person. It's funny that you say that that kind of changed when you became a mom.'cause I actually was just talking to someone about this a couple of weeks ago. Um, I teach dance and so. You are very critical because you have to be exactly perfect. Right. Just like engineering. If it's not exactly perfect, it's not right. And so you, I was very critical of my students basically, like when I became a mom and like the decisions that I made, you know, I, I, I got someone from a routine 'cause they weren't getting it even though they were. A senior student and like the things that I did, I was like, oh, you know, well we have to do this for the, for the betterment of the organization. And then something happened. I became a mom, and all of a sudden I, my mama heart got in the way of like, oh my God, I can't cut this girl because she's, you know, somebody's baby. And, and some of that was good, right? For me to chill out a little bit and like really think about the world with empathy. And then some of it, I look back and I'm like, Hmm, but it, you know what? Was that really the right choice? Should I have just let my mama heart get in the way of that professional decision? So I can totally see how becoming a mom has has changed your perspective on that. And I actually do kind of see the parallel between the engineering analytical mind and the adult learner who is trying to learn a new language or something that I just feel like is so much harder for people once they've kind of entered that like post puberty. Life stage, whereas like my kids soak things up, but if I have to learn something new, I have to work twice as hard at it. So I can see the analytical breakdown of helping adult learners see the parallels and the formulas and the process that has to happen in terms of learning something new. Right, and I help them more. I present myself more as a problem solver, and they're solving their problems in English. If they need to get a job in construction, a, a very technical construction atmosphere, I can help with that because I know what they need. They don't need trained schedules or to know what a preposition does. They want, they need the vocabulary and the confidence to speak about what they know. It's almost like teaching fit for task language rather than just like general, like, where's the bathroom? How to say please and thank you. right. And actually, you know, I, um, I focus on adults. I have other people in my company that focus on, um, elementary, younger learners because it is a different way to learn. Um, elementary learners need to learn to read. Sound outwards in a traditional phonics way. Um, adult learners don't learn that way. They learn vocabulary and match words and objects and don't spend a lot of time sounding things out. No, uh, the, the way our brains work we're, and, and like, I gotta be honest, I don't have time to go to the fundamentals all the time. And especially if I'm trying to get a job, if I'm trying to achieve some kind of outcome, my motivation's gonna be a lot more wrapped around the thing that gets me to that outcome rather than necessarily the entire breadth and depth of knowledge around this entire topic. Right, right. And I do tell my students, I was talking to someone this morning about jar's. I'm like, you won't need to know what this word is because native speakers don't know what this word I will say, I don't even know what that word is, and I'm a native speaker. but I'm like, this is how you use it and this is why you need it. Um, it's actually a verb with the ING ending. That sounds like a noun. Mm-hmm. you say, I like swimming. Swimming acts like a noun. And it's, it's those things though that as we think about the importance of language, and especially as our. As our world gets more and more global, right. I, I consulted for a company where, uh, the team I was working with, I was based in the us The, the person who ran the team was based in London, but most of his team was based in the US and we were delivering, uh, training and enablement content for people all over the world, uh, uh, Singapore and Japan and Australia. And thinking about all of these time zones. And when you're thinking about like that cultural training and, and empathy, it's more than just putting it in their language. It's, it's making sure that your messaging fits the cultural relevance and is correct in their language.'cause you can have, uh, French, French or French Canadian, and those are both French, but they are different. And I'm sure there's a lot of that too as you're transitioning professionals. Probably very intelligent, highly, highly sought after people who are trying to figure out how do I come across in English in the same level of expertise and confidence that I would come across in my native tongue. Exactly, exactly. I had a student who was married to an attorney and she was, um, very used to socializing with her husband and his colleagues in Arabic. Um, but she moved to the US and she's like. I talk like a kindergartner. Right. I was like, yeah. So let's get your, um, English level up to match the personality that you have. Right, and, and the personnel that you would have in your native culture and in your native tongue, right? Because unfortunately. People make snap decisions and snap, snap impressions about the people that they meet. And so I could meet her and I could know inherently that like she is married to an attorney, she is highly educated, right? But if she's speaking to me like a kindergartner, that's gonna be pretty hard to get over. Whether or not I have that like understanding of she's not from my culture. Right, right. And just, um, a lot of times when people are learning English, they, um, speak very. Direct. They only know a few words that show feeling from one place to another. And so you may say, I need that. Instead of say, can I please have the paper? right. They're not being rude, And it's not necessarily, but that's how it's gonna be taken. Right. And that's the hard part is that there's so much inflection and nuance and I'm sure that that part of that is just like the culture that we have here. And I'm from the Midwest, right? So our, the way you would talk to someone from the Midwest is highly different than the way you talk to someone who lives in New York City. I make a joke. That when I go to, um, big cities, I have to turn off my resting Midwest face because I have a face that every person who's trying to sell something on the street, like they approach me every time. And I've learned that it's just that I have like an open face and I smile at people and I say thank you, and I like react to the world around me. And when I go to big cities as a, as a woman alone, I have to not, I have to like actively turn off my face, but it's the way I was raised in the Midwest. Yeah. And not be as open, and it's hard to change from just different cultures in the us. Um, Let alone coming into the country. Right, right. Yeah. Um, my husband just started a job at a Japanese com company here in the US and I was like, do not make jokes. I'm like, they're not gonna respond, you know, right. and they may or may not understand, but they're not going to respond. He was like, oh, why? I'm like, it's just the difference. Just, just live with it and accept it as part of who they are, you Yeah, it's almost like, um. I'm sure there is actually a real scientific background. This, you know, we have like emotional intelligence and, and, and IQ and EQ and all of those things. Is there any element of that when you're working with your students to not only help them understand how to speak the language with confidence and, and proficiently, but like the social EQ experience that we all kind of grow up learning in our culture when they're trying to, you know, be taken seriously in this new place they're trying to be. Um, yes, there is, and I, uh, with professionals, I work a lot on talking about deadlines and negotiation that as Americans we're very passive in not saying, no, we can't do that. We, you know, have all of these other sayings, and I'm like, all of these sayings mean no. Yeah, it is. Uh. wait, why don't you just use No? I'm like, uh, It's just not the way it's done. Yeah. Uh, being from Texas, I'm like, we just, we just don't do that. Again, Texas, Midwest, we're Right. Right. You're like, we're gonna be polite about this. I finally realized one time when I was talking to someone and they said something and I said I wanted to say no. I was like, yeah, no. But I said, yeah, first I'm going, okay, wait, I sent the wrong message there. Or if I say no, yeah. And then like all of these things that don't make sense, but they're almost like, um, like cultural ticks that we have in our little, uh, different subgroups even inside of our singular culture. Um. And so how do you help people navigate? Like not only are you trying to learn a new, new language, but I don't know. I don't know about you, but a lot of my coworkers and the people that I work with are all over the country, and that can't be, that's pretty common in some of these bigger organizations. So how do they learn to go from simply speaking the language with confidence to understanding how that language adapts regionally? um, we do talk about how the language adapts regionally and you know. Um, not being just linguistics person, I really teach them about the history of the United States and kind of how different parts of the country respond. React in different ways. Like the Midwest, I'm like they are the farmers, the heart of the country, and um, will. Do anything to help their neighbor, but also very, um, flat, emotionally in general. And they're like, oh, you know, but I'm like, okay. The West coast is more adventurous. The east coast, more traditional, and I think most, a, a lot of them are from larger countries and realize. How the different regions are so diverse, but I also tell them there's miscommunication between regions, even in native speakers. Yeah. Yeah. It's not, it's not uncommon for for me to misread something that you. Know the intentions of someone else. And as a born and raised American, I've, I've had to learn the hard way sometimes when I accidentally stepped in someone's territory or, or said the wrong thing. Um, one thing I tell my students, and I would be interested to find out your opinion on it. Do you think, um, if people know you're learning English, that you're, you're working towards improving your English, um, do they get offended if you use the wrong word? That is a good question. Um, I think if you know ahead of time, no. Okay. And so like being upfront and honest about like, Hey, this is a new language for me and, uh, I, I can't wait to have conversations with you so that I can improve and just if I say something dumb or stupid, you know, it's, uh, it's not me. I'm just, I'm just learning. It's different. Um, and I think that if I have that pre-con, that definitely helps. Yeah. I tell my students, I'm like, be upfront that you're, that you're a learner and people are more likely to help out or be, um, patient with what you're trying to say. Yep. I would definitely agree with that. Um, what brought you to start Lori's Language Lab and what are you working on now? Oh, um, I started Lori's Language Lab because. Um, my daughters were getting ready to go to college and, you know, it's a hard thing these days to help pay for kids' education or providing education. Um, so I had a choice to go engineering or something else, and this really spoke to my heart about helping people who, um. Who needed, who had moved from their community and needed to find community and that I had skills that could help them. And how did you get into English as a second language in the first place? Like were you always a dual speaker? Did you just have interest in in understanding how to do multiple languages? Or did you decide, hey, I see a need so I'm gonna learn how to do this? Um, I am not, um. A bilingual person, I only speak English, which people are surprised about. Um, surprised by that. yeah. Yeah. So, uh, I counted up one time and at that point in time I was teaching people that had six different first languages. So there is really no way for me to, I guess I could be multilingual in all of those, but, um. I've taught students from 60 countries and there's just no way to be fluent in all of those. Um, so what was the original question? Well, like why? What was it about this particular language and like, if you're not multilingual, 'cause I feel like that's usually how it starts, right? Like you are, you teach, you speak Spanish, so you start teaching English as a second language. And since you're not a, you know, dual language speaker, like what was it about this particular thing that said to you like, I am the right person to start this particular business. Um, the, the thing that made the connection for me was I was wor uh, volunteering with our church and just. Trying to help the community out and, um, I met a person, that guy from Venezuela, and I think the personal relationship with people made the difference. Um, I have had so many amazing relationships that, uh, I cannot even, um. Explain what a change they have made in my life, um, and that I've made in theirs that, oh, it's just amazing they wouldn't be there. You know, I started teaching, um, not long after I started Lori's Language Lab. I started helping a family who were refugees from Syria. And, um, I had never taught straight beginners before. That came from a character based language instead of our alphabet, like Spanish or French or whatever. Um, and starting back at the beginning with the ABCs and things like that. Um, also when they were learning. To integrate into the US to send their kids to school, to learn, to drive the struggle of figuring out how to learn to drive in Arabic. They have to learn English, to learn to pass a driving test and, um, to go through the healthcare system. Um, the, the public system that I had not been a part of. Before just opened my eyes to the people in our community that are in need different than, um, than my experience previously. Since then, that family has all become citizens and they bought a farm, so they are raising animals like they did in Syria and they are so happy and a different, uh, learning that. Um, a different level of prosperity for different countries. Um, they don't have to be my idea. Successful. They have to be their idea Successful. I think that's an important point too, right? Because we talk about, you know, the American dream. People come to the US for different reasons and it's important to remember. For all of our listeners, whether you are a native born American or someone who came to this country in search of a better life, that the American dream can be whatever your dream is, and it doesn't have to necessarily be, you know, climbing the corporate ladder or becoming the big boss or starting your own business if that's not really what it looks like for you. Yeah, yeah. This family, all they wanted to do was to raise sheep and, you know, to have a life that simple, if that's, if that's what you want, they, um, they were successful in getting it, in, reaching their goals in the us. Yep. I love that. Thinking about all of the incredible people that you know, or that you aspire to know, who is leading the charge, who is taking back Monday? Um, you know, I thought about this a lot, uh, because people who work with internationals are not really well known out in the public sphere. And I met a lady in Chicago, her name is Lisa Mueller. Um. Her company is the expat partner coach and um, she has formed an organization called International Women of Chicago, and she is trying to reach out to expats that have, that are coming into the US and even US citizens that are repatriating to the US to help adjust, to help adjust. She's. Uh, I forget what she calls May, maybe like a multi expat person. She's been out and in in corporate America several times and realizes the different adjustments at different periods of your life. And if someone is really connecting with you, if they want to learn more, where can they find you online? ah, you can always find me at Lori's language lab.net. Okay. Um, my website, or you can also find me on Instagram at Loris Language Lab. Awesome. Well, thank you so much for joining me on taking back Monday. This was a really great conversation. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for having me.