Above The Whistle
Welcome to Above The Whistle. The podcast that takes you beyond the X's and O's and into the mindset of greatness as we sit down with coaches/athletic directors/former players across the country.
Above The Whistle
World Champion Greco-Roman Wrestling Ben Kjar: Born to Stand Out
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Ben Kjar was born with Crouzons syndrome (a craniofacial anomaly), and as a young boy the doctors told him that he would live a different life.....and that’s exactly what he’s done!! Ben has risen above any of life’s challenges and become a Victor not a victim. He believes in being disobedient to average and in a world where most people try to fit in, Ben tries to teach us to STAND OUT!
Ben was Utah Valley University’s first-ever NCAA Division 1 Wrestling All-American. This year, at 40 yrs old Ben represented the USA at the World Championships in Greece and became a World Champion in Greco-Roman Wrestling and won a silver medal in Freestyle Wrestling. Ben's ignited passion serves as a beacon for his adopted children, a living example that actions echo louder than words. We traverse through this inspirational landscape, discussing the fine line between personal passions and familial commitments, pondering over the sacrifices made and the legacies etched along the way.
Wrapping up, we peek into the anticipation surrounding Ben's documentary project, a testament to the legacies we carve through our stories and actions. With the potential to reach millions, the documentary stands as a living journal, a legacy in motion. Through the lens of this upcoming project, we consider how platforms like Netflix could catapult such personal narratives into a global phenomenon, inspiring countless others to embrace their unique paths and leave indelible marks on the world. Join us for this episode full of motivation, celebration of individuality, and the transformative power of legacy.
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Inspiring Champions
Speaker 1You know , one of the most important kids you'll ever coach is the one that needs the program more than the program needs that kid . Welcome to Above the Whistle with your host , devin McCann . Alright man , hey , welcome to another edition of Above the Whistle . Today we go beyond the X's and O's , we go beyond gold medals . So today we go beyond the X's and O's , we go beyond gold medals and today we sit down to look into the heart and mind of a true champion , ben Kerr . Ben , thanks for jumping on the podcast . A gold medal and and you know I mean you've been away from wrestling for what 10 , 11 years . What made you get back into wrestling and decide to go for the national championships ? And you know what . What inspired that ?
Speaker 2Yeah , I uh , I was literally sitting in Florida at , uh , my buddy Russell Brunson's event . I was literally sitting in Florida at my buddy Russell Brunson's event and as I'm sitting in the seat , a guy named Ed Milet stands up . Yeah , and he's speaking Saturday morning . He's a powerful speaker . He is a powerful speaker and Saturday morning in I believe it was September 2022 . Okay , I just recently adopted in the past three , four years before that three kids , and so I became a dad . Very quickly .
Speaker 1I mean , I would receive a call 15 hours before I would go pick up my first child , my first boy . I mean you didn't have , you know , nine months to kind of prepare for that . It's instantaneous . That was so quick .
Speaker 2It's crazy and we'd just gone through at this point . They're like four years old .
Speaker 1Yeah .
Speaker 2Four , four and three .
Speaker 1Three kids under the age of three ?
Speaker 2Yeah , and then I would adopt a girl that would be five days younger . On that same trip to adopt my oldest boy . Adopt a girl that would be five days younger . On that same trip to adopt my oldest boy , adopt a girl that would be five days younger than him . And then , a year later , literally 13 months later , I would adopt my oldest boy's full blood brother .
Speaker 1Oh , that's awesome .
Speaker 2Okay , yeah , so it was man , such a God gift given to me and my wife . Yeah , absolutely With that being said , it was a lot , and we had put them into everything that we could to keep their energy going and try to just allow them a life that we would want them to have , and one of those things is getting them involved in sports . One sport that I love is wrestling .
Speaker 1Yeah .
Speaker 2So , as I'm sitting at this event fall of 2022 , we just got done with wrestling season and um , so are you wrestling again at that time ?
Speaker 1No , I'm not . No , you're not .
Speaker 2Absolutely not . I haven't wrestled in 10 years at this point .
Speaker 1Okay , I haven't wrestled in 10 years at this point , but you're still involved , like coaching and things Kind of like from the stands . Okay .
Speaker 2And that relates to what I'm about to say , is that I'm sitting in the stands yelling to my kids what to do . You know what moves whatever . I've been in the sport for almost 40 years . At this point , I know the ropes . Yeah yeah , and my kids don't know the ropes , anything about the ropes .
Speaker 1They don't even know how to tie their shoes Right exactly .
Speaker 2High-level technique and so I'm there telling them , and it was frustrating a lot of times . Ed Milet is on stage in this moment . On stage in this moment , he says one of the biggest forms of child neglect is parents not living their dreams . Immediately I sat in that chair and I realized that I was talking and talking and talking to my kids , yeah , and I wasn't showing them . Right , right and yeah , they can go watch film from 10 , 20 years ago , or I could get my butt out of that seat . I could shut my mouth .
Speaker 1Yeah .
Speaker 2And I could show them . And it changed my life because , you know , a handful of months later I'd find myself in Las Vegas losing weight , making weight that I hadn't made in a decade . Yeah yeah , that's hard .
Speaker 1Yeah . Especially as you get older , right , it is Like you know , as a high school kid it's challenging . As a college kid it's challenging . As a 40-year-old , it's a whole new hill that you got to climb .
Speaker 2You recover different . Your training is different . You bounce back different . Yeah , your priorities and responsibilities are massively different .
Speaker 1Absolutely .
Speaker 2And at this age I was getting paid to compete , right Right . I had the support of Utah Valley University and , believe it or not , this is kind of a full circle moment Russell Brunson , whose event that I was sitting at , helped fund Utah Valley University's wrestling program , which is why I went to college and I wrestled under Russell Brunson's name .
Speaker 1Oh , interesting . Yeah , that is full circle .
Speaker 2It was totally full circle . So it was the Brunson Utah Valley Regional Training Center .
Speaker 1Okay .
Speaker 2And my kids would show up , watch me compete and cheer daddy on .
Speaker 1Yeah .
Speaker 2And I would win nationals . I'd outscore my opponents 64 points to two points .
Speaker 1Oh dang .
Speaker 2And I gave up at one takedown and it's just funny how ironic maybe is a better word how when I was done , I realized then and there that they were seeing dad's words .
Speaker 1But like in action , yeah , come to life , come to life , yeah .
Speaker 2And after they would grab my legs and toss me down , they were even doing moves that they would never taught . Just because they've seen you , they're watching me , they do yeah , and they've done it since . Yeah .
Speaker 2Oh absolutely and cause . After that we'd go to the World Championships in Greece and then I just competed , man a week and a half ago in Vegas , again at Nationals , and they were there as well , and they were there the entire time and it was so difficult and so hard in so many ways , but I would never , ever , like regret that .
Speaker 1Like you said . I mean it's one thing to pull up dad's highlights right and watch it on YouTube or you know whatever , but to see him actually doing it and to go to the matches and hear the crowd and see your dad on the mat taking someone down , I mean those memories are going to last forever . That impact is going to just change who they are . And I love that , you know , because I had a similar moment with my kids and just me . You know I grew up playing more baseball and football . So you know those days are done but I've really got into doing endurance sports . So it's like last year I ran a half marathon . Never in a million years did I think I'd actually go run half marathon .
Speaker 1Or I just did a triathlon down at Lake Mead two weeks ago and my daughter she's two years old , she'll just be like daddy run and you know she knows my , my running shoes and she'll actually kind of mimic the running and you know my bike and all that , and it's amazing to see them just what , how much they watch us , you know , and and it's it's truly powerful to to show them , as opposed to just it's truly powerful to to show them as opposed to just , hey , do this .
Speaker 1You know , absolutely yeah . So I mean I , I love that you . You picked up your wrestling shoes after 10 years and got back on that mat and I just I think there's so many lessons to be learned from that . Um , for all the listeners out there that you know , go out there and I mean it might be a different sport than what you did when you were younger , but continue to compete , continue to go out there and just show your kids what standard you have for yourself , whether it's getting up and going to the gym or , you know , getting just being active and living a healthy lifestyle . Words only go so far , but actions they're going to watch you . So I love that .
Speaker 2I love that . Let me say something real quick . I have a . I have a what I call my victory chant and it's my I am statement , and you just said they're going to watch you . Two phrases in my I am statement is now watch me .
Speaker 1Okay .
Speaker 2The next phrase is defy the odds .
Speaker 1I love that .
Speaker 2And they literally see that . Yeah , they watch us defy the
The Importance of Commitment and Balance
Speaker 2odds . You had mentioned something and I'm going to give a comment on it . You had said the days of football and baseball are in the past for you . You said that right . Yeah , but if you read some people that have been extremely successful totally outside the sports , you would see what kind of drove them as well . Like , let's mention one of the most financially successful people in utah , the larry h miller family .
Speaker 2well , gail miller is the one that's living now yeah but larry h , if you've read his book , uh , driven , yep , it talks about his psychotic like obsession with softball . Yeah , and his kids would go to his games and just watch him . Oh yeah , because he'd go to these tournaments . So , though , we may need to adjust the sport where you're probably not going to be pitching 100-mile-hour fastballs .
Speaker 2Right right it doesn't mean you can't . No , because there's some guys potentially in the Major League Baseball at our age , 40-ish years old , that may be doing that . Can't is a word that's easily thrown around , by guys also who haven't dedicated time towards that .
Speaker 1Yeah , does that make sense ? Yeah , no , absolutely .
Speaker 2We get old as we don't move . Yeah , the less we move , the older we get period , Right , Right ? So , even though people because people told me oh , you can't wrestle , You're 40 years old and , by the way , you haven't wrestled in 10 years yeah , you can't do that , you are too old for that . I'm like you're too old for that . What are you talking about ? I'll go and like pummel you to the ground , dude , Like I'll throw you on your head . Too old is a statement number one , it's a mentality number two and it's the ability to be able to commit to something . Now , here's the warning I give to the listeners If you go and read the book Larry H Miller , I would make it an understanding , or at least go into it with an understanding that it's a commitment , it's a lifestyle . If you're going to do it at a high level and Larry Miller did it at a high level in softball they traveled around In his book his kids , because he was so dedicated to building his empire and then he was so dedicated to , in any of his free time , probably for stress relief , to dedicate it towards something that he could be competitive .
Speaker 2In any of his free time , probably for stress relief , to dedicate it towards something that he could be competitive in outside of work . His kids didn't see him much at home . They saw him when they were watching him . So there has to be some type of commitment and realize are you willing to do that and is that the best thing for your family ? Though he was able to leave other things that other people can't say they can leave financially , he was in his present . So if the love language of your kids is quality time , and of your wife or your loved one , and you don't appease to that , I mean in their book he literally says I don't feel like I'm stepping on toes here by saying it it's publicly written that Gail and him were lucky that they never wanted to get divorces at the same time .
Speaker 1Does that make sense ? Otherwise that marriage would have . If you're married , that totally makes sense . You know what I'm saying ? Oh , absolutely .
Speaker 2And so I think it's super important , as we commit to doing something that checks the box of I'm going to do that . It means you cannot check the box of something else .
Speaker 1As soon as you say yes to something , you're saying no to something else , right ? Absolutely With Larry H Miller . I think his obsession with softball , like you said , is well documented , to the point where it was a legacy of his . You hear Larry H Miller immediately , immediately . You think you know the dealerships and the Utah Jazz and things like that . But I mean there's real talks right now , right , that Utah might get a Major League Baseball team .
Speaker 1Gail Miller is the one leading that charge and that's because of the legacy and the love that Larry H Miller had for softball slash baseball and that she wants to bring baseball to Utah she knows how much that meant to her husband that she is working , you know , day and night with a coalition to try to bring Major League Baseball to Utah . So I think , once again , that just his actions just spoke so much louder than words , you know , saying , yeah , I love baseball , but his dedication to the sport of softball , which you know led to his kids watching him and really seeing his passion for that sport and for baseball . I mean that's why we're close to actually getting a Major League Baseball team here in Utah now and I think it's awesome .
Speaker 2Yeah , I really do . Yep , I think it's amazing too . I think what they've done and what they've sacrificed away from being normal has been huge , because what's easy , what's easy is I've got to be careful how I say this , because what's easy , what's easy is I gotta be careful how I say this , because it's beautiful to go home to your family and that's actually so pure . Yeah , it's also easy not to put yourself out there , and I think we need to plan our lives . This goes , man , we could have a .
Speaker 1We could talk about this for days , because it is a fine line , right , it's a fine line , very fine because you even plan your your children around it .
Speaker 2You do . For an example , my wife and I have come together and we're done having kids at three .
Speaker 1It's a good number to have . It's a great number to have .
Speaker 2It's a great number to have , you get four it becomes yeah , well , I was raised in a family of seven kids , my wife in a family of nine . We wanted to have more kids . Yeah , there's some reasons why we haven't had kids , naturally , because I mean , we just couldn't .
Speaker 1Yeah .
Speaker 2IVF cycles . Four IVF cycles , two miscarriages , two failed adoptions . We've adopted three kids , but we can adopt another kid too and there's other ways , but we've decided that , until God tells us differently , that we will have our three kids . Because of this , we feel and this is the point I'm trying to make I think that you feel a calling and I'm not going to say maybe it's a bigger calling , because having more kids is one of the best callings you can have .
Speaker 1Yeah , I mean being a father or mother . I mean that's probably the highest calling we can have right 100% , 100% , as you feel .
Speaker 2I feel that let's call that an internal calling to where it's like an internal to your family calling . Sometimes some people feel like they have an external calling to more than just their family . Agreed , I felt that and I believe the people listening to this hopefully understand that there's a heavy weight on either calling yeah , and it's not less important , but I believe that as we check the box of yes to having more kids , you have to be able to understand that that gets to be your responsibility . It doesn't have to be . It deserves to be .
Speaker 1So how do you find the balance between those two ? How do you make sure you're giving quality time to your kids ? Because I do think there's a difference between quality time and just quantity right Totally . You can come home from work at 5 o'clock , sit on the couch and be with your kids for the next four or five hours .
Speaker 2Well , be with your kids , meaning you're under the same roof .
Speaker 1You're under the same roof , in the same room , but you're presently somewhere else . Totally , you're so aloof , right ? So I mean , quality time is extremely important with kids . I mean a lot
Intense Moments With Kids
Speaker 1of times . I mean my daughter , I mean she's great at this , two years old , like I said , she'll grab my phone and be like no phone and she'll go hide it because she just wants me to be on the ground with her playing Barbies or whatever it is .
Speaker 2It's awesome , that's powerful .
Speaker 1I mean , if that doesn't wake you up , right when your daughter will remove your devices from your presence just to be with her . I don't know what does .
Speaker 2And we've all had that . Yeah , we've all had kids say , daddy , look at me . Yeah , look at me , daddy .
Speaker 1Look at me .
Speaker 2Look at me , don't look at your phone .
Speaker 1Right and you're glancing . You know doing a side glance and go back to your phone and no , they want your attention . No , they want your attention .
Speaker 2But I mean 15 , 20 minutes of quality time , and truly being present with them is so much more powerful than , yeah , you're in the same room or under the same roof as them for the next five or six hours about us . But would be given one question that said either what controls these humans' lives , or who do they worship the alien would often say whatever those devices are in their hands , which is their phones , tablets , whatever it is and isn't that so true ? I see it in my own life . About that draw I do all my . I'm an entrepreneur , I do all my business on my phone usually .
Speaker 2But that is such a draw and where we focus . I'll answer another question . There's a not another question . I'll make another comment . Two of the most powerful people , warren Buffett and Bill Gates , were in a conversation one time and and they were asked a question give me one word that allows you to be who you are today . And almost simultaneously they answered focus .
Speaker 2And if an alien sees the focus , this outer person not knowing our human race , sees a focus of us , or even our kids , who are so ignorant to what life is at such a young age . Go towards that . What will they expect in their own life ? I believe , as parents , they see us and our standards and our habits and they believe , by default , those are their standards . And if that doesn't wake us up , like you said , if that doesn't point us in a direction of warning or congratulations right , saying hey , good on you , you're doing the right things , you're doing the gym , you're doing the fitness , you're doing your deity or your religious , spiritual realm , you're doing your community work , whatever it is that's important .
Speaker 2You asked a question a couple of minutes ago saying how do you balance that ? I had a mentor . His name is Felipe Kordoffer . He's actually a mission president of mine and we've gotten really close . We went on a trip to Africa together and when I started speaking more and more I was on stage 60 , 70 times a year before I adopted these kids and my wife and I started getting concerned about how that would affect our newly brought to us kids so quickly . Three kids in 13 months it's like Irish triplets right .
Speaker 2And so we sat down to get some counsel with Felipe and his beautiful wife , and he said , ben , if you feel like that's a calling and a God gift I believe we all have God gifts and if you feel like that's a God gift that you've been given , don't hide it under a bushel Shine . So here's how you can find quality time with your kids , ben . You may be homeless . If that's what God wants you to do , you may be homeless , take that calling and run with it . But when you're home and this is the moment that changed he said when you're home , have intense times with your kids . I'd never heard anybody say that . I've always heard have quality time , but intense . He said intense . And when he said intense , it totally changed my perspective of what that would look like feel like .
Speaker 1Did it take you time to kind of wrap your head around that ?
Speaker 2Yeah , because you hear that you try to define that .
Speaker 1Yeah , you're like okay , what does that mean ? Right ?
Speaker 2So here's what it meant for me . I'll just give you a live example so the listeners can kind of get what I went towards . So when I come home my kids are super active . They do a sports school two days a week and then they do a nature school , outdoor school , like we get them , like they roll around in mud . We love that and they're not going to get that their whole lives right .
Speaker 2That's only for a certain amount of years , that that's given to us as an opportunity Without being said . Structured , I should say we can create whatever we want . But with that being said , what that means is I come home , my kids do exactly what I dreamt about my whole life Daddy , daddy , daddy which is like mind shifting , by the way , at what that still does for me . I come home some days with an empty battery , just like holy cow , it was a long day and then my battery wham recharge , just by that , daddy , daddy , by just literally be calling dad number one .
Speaker 1I mean I don't know about you , but my daughters , for example . I mean I came home last night , been gone for a couple of days for work , 9.30 at night . I come in the door , you know , and it's arms wide open running full speed at you , daddy , daddy , I mean there's nothing that just warms your heart and , yeah , like you said , charges your battery faster than that sight and those words , that feel that welcoming home right .
Speaker 2It's like you're going to the pearly gates of heaven right here on earth . And so , for me , what it was is hearing that , literally with a few seconds of me stepping in under my roof and my front door , me ripping my shirt off , and at the same moment , simultaneously , my two boys and my little girl all rip their shirts off , and we're like , ah , viking music gets played . Oh that's awesome . We always play the song Valhalla Calling . Okay , yeah .
Speaker 2Check it out on Alexa or whatever you use , and then it's like dun , dun , dun , and it's this Viking music that happens , and then we immediately start wrestling , playing soccer . I grab them , throwing halfway across the room on the beanbag or couch and we're getting sweaty within five minutes . That's intense , and that is intense . That's intense moments . It's intense times . It's fort building and that is not easy . Every day I'm going to tell you . I come home and I'm like I'm done before I walk in the door . But there's a book called the atomic habits .
Speaker 1I love that book yeah .
Speaker 2And it talks about habit stacking and when you walk in or when you get up or whatever your goal is . My goal was to be more present and to be intense in those moments . I made a goal that the moment I took my shoes off because I take my shoes off every time we put them in a closet and we walk in the door the moment I put my shoes off and into that closet , that was my check-in period of intensity for my kids .
Speaker 1It's interesting you say that because I mean , ed Milet will talk about things like that . Like you know , signaling , I believe , is what he calls it . It's an action of some sort that brings you into the emotions and energies that you want to feel , right . Yeah , so you know , you take your shoes off and put it in the closets . It's that action and all of a sudden , that energy , those emotions , those feelings , you know , physiologically come and alter your state , whatever that state was as you walked in the door . Now it's been altered and you're ready to go and be truly present with your kids . So I love that there's an actual like action item , you know , kind of behind that . Yeah , because there is power to it .
Speaker 2Well , tony Robbins talks about his power move . Yeah , exactly , and on stage , if you've seen his documentary . On stage he does this clap and he pumps his arms and then he spins around . Yeah , and then he goes on stage . Yeah , power moves as fathers , as coaches , as athletes , dads , moms , in between , whatever you want to call it can literally be . I mean literally . If you think of the power move that's the most iconic , it's probably Mr Rogers . How many times did we see him take his jacket off and shoes on Right , or jacket off and on ? That was a moment for us . So in my , in my , I have my own power move , which is get my hand wet with water before I compete and I put it on my face and I slap my face and then I go , yeah , and bam , I'm ready to go . I flex my muscles and I go on the mat to take anybody out .
Speaker 1yeah , see , I have my daughter's name tattooed right here over my chest . Oh yeah , and it's two , you know fist , two paths over the tattoo man , and it's , it's go time , that's go time , that's go time , that's your signal .
Speaker 2That's it , that's your power move . Yep , I mean it . The power move can be as little as away from competition , away from that type of stuff . It could literally be as simple as taking your shoes off and putting them away after you check in .
Speaker 1Yeah , yeah , I love the Mr Rogers comparison with that . Yeah , I've never thought of that , but it truly was like that was an iconic moment . Yeah , yeah . So you talked about your victory chant . Let's go back to that . Let's just where did that come from ? And go ahead , and can you kind of walk us through the entire Victor Champ , because I think it's so powerful .
Speaker 1Because I did something similar with my football team this year , before every game .
Powerful Self-Affirmations and Chants
Speaker 1You know , we did these affirmations right , and they would repeat after me and I would , you know , go through this list and it would change , you know , week to week . But it was like I am tough , I am strong , I am , you know , go through this list and it would , it would change , you know , week to week . But it was like I am tough , I am strong , I am , and you know , and you go through this and then at the end of it , I am a champion , I am a champion , we are champions .
Speaker 2And it just .
Speaker 1I think it really . It gets you into a mindset . You know , words cast spells , so you , you put , put that out into the world right .
Speaker 2Yeah , you put those words out into the world right .
Speaker 1That's powerful , what you just said yeah , yeah , you put those words out into the world . There's power behind that .
Speaker 2So I love your victory chant so walk us through that .
Speaker 2I have this . I'm going to send this to you , okay , cool . So this is literally the victory chant For those of you guys who can't see . I'm showing it to them , every single thing that you see on here . I'm going to put this here because , as you see them , it means something , right , it means something when you're looking at it and you just don't hear it .
Speaker 2Now , the victory chant to me . You can call it man , you can call it an incantation , you can call it a positive self-talk , whatever it is , and some people , you don't have to do a victory chant . I call it a victory chant . I created my own . Yeah , you can start with something . I didn't have this for the longest time . I just created this in the last couple of years . Yeah , you can borrow somebody else's . I borrowed Tony Robbins , right , right , his was . He had a whole incantation . I borrowed his for a long time because it worked for me .
Speaker 2Some people do prayer as theirs , some people do poetry , some people do scripture . Song is something that moves people . Music moves people . It's all spoken word , right , like for me . My power chant for a while was Eye of the Tiger . That was my run out song . Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past , you must fight just to keep them alive , is one of the little verses there that was in the song , those things I had posted up everywhere .
Speaker 2Well , just over time , as I've been able to speak all over the world , I've put together my own , and mine starts with now I choose me . Well , why is it now ? I choose me ? Well , because when I was born with Caruzon syndrome , which is a craniofacial anomaly , and I'd have to have tons of reconstructive surgeries , a trach in my throat cut , my head open and mouth wired shut , I'd look different . My head would swell up . I wouldn't be able , they told me I wouldn't be able to do contact sports . I said , oh yeah , watch me , dude , I'm gonna find the odds , baby , I mean , I want to get into that in a minute . But , yeah , absolutely so . Um , now , um , now I choose me . I did that because for the longest time , I pretended to be everybody else . I'm billy bobby , you know , tommy version 2.0 .
Speaker 1Yeah , tall , dark and handsome , that's where I want to be I think we have , you know , for whatever reason , especially as kids , but even adults , right , we try so hard to just fit in and I think you actually have a saying . You know , I was born to stand out . Bam , that's part of the and I love that . I love that , yeah , so go ahead . Sorry , I love it , that's exactly right .
Speaker 2It doesn't stop it till the other dying day . Comparison and judgment will be a part of us , if it just depends on how much we play into it . So now I choose me , and then my next one is I make a difference . I make a difference , my mom told me when I was younger . In a moment of hard , hard times , when I was being made fun of , she said Ben , you look a little bit different .
Speaker 1Yeah .
Speaker 2And you always will Guess what that allows you to make a difference .
Speaker 1That's amazing .
Speaker 2So because you look different , let's make a difference . And the next thing I say is I fight for light . I think in life there's the dark side of us , the natural man that's selfish , a little bit of a prick .
Speaker 1And we all have that . Well , there's polarity in everything right , absolutely and so yeah , I mean we have that duality , we have the light and dark within us .
Speaker 2And we don't know the difference if we don't have the other right , right and dark within us , and we don't know the difference if we don't have the other right , right . And so in my life I've chosen you know , in the dark times in my life , I'm still going to show up and choose to fight for light . And we all know that . You know evil reigns when good men remain silent and aren't willing to raise a fist to just goodness .
Speaker 1Yeah , and so I'm going to choose to fight for life . And you mentioned earlier , you know we have these God God given you know , rights or talents or things like that , and hiding it under a bushel is contrary to that , to being the light . If you have that , that gift that God bestowed upon you , you better use it right . You know , hold that torch up high , don't don't hide it . So , yep , yeah , yeah , and we're .
Speaker 2I think the the father spider-man said it the best like with great responsibility or with power comes great responsibility absolutely . And so , as we're giving , and we all have this power , it's not like if you have it , it's like yo go find it . You're given an individuality , it's like snowflakes there's not one snowflake .
Speaker 2That's the same . You dissect those snowflakes and really look at them under a microscope . It's incredible what type of beauty there is . We just need to look at ourselves under that microscope . We do Find clarity and that's scary sometimes Find clarity in what you're called to , and I say that because there's people that will listen to this podcast across the world , that are sitting in something that they're not gifted in and they are dying inside .
Overcoming Fear and Embracing Individuality
Speaker 2It was oh , what's his name ? He played the mask .
Speaker 1Oh , jim Carrey , Jim .
Speaker 2Carrey . He's literally giving a speech and he's talking about his father . He's like little , do you guys know ? My father was probably funnier than me ? He's like he was such a comedian . Yeah , but he never , ever , because of fear , stepped away from his warehouse job .
Speaker 1I think and I don't know I mean I might be generalizing way too much , but I have so many friends and even you know , bringing it to my house and to my home and what I grew up with my dad was such a talented coach .
Speaker 1I mean he taught a lot of yeah , he just coached a lot of youth teams and things like that and it was always like , dude , you should be coaching at the high school level or even college level like super talented .
Speaker 1But because of the fear to like go on and do other things , or even with construction like he worked for a big construction company here in town but like if he had gone out on his own and , you know , had his own business , things like that he would have killed it . But due to that fear and you know , just , I mean I understand wanting to be able to have the comfort , to be able to know , hey , I'm going to be able to support my family and sometimes , when you go out on the edge , you don't know if that's going to happen Totally support my family and sometimes , when you go out on the edge , you don't know if that's going to happen Totally . But I think that that generation , there were so many of them that really refused . And maybe it's not that generation , maybe it's , you know , from one generation to the next , even our generation . I mean , there's a lot of individuals that are unwilling to put themselves out there and to you know .
Speaker 2So , yeah , I think you're right , though it's , it's , and I wouldn't call it a generational thing , I would call it a technology thing .
Speaker 1Okay , explain that .
Speaker 2People today don't have an excuse . True , they have no freaking excuse .
Speaker 1We have more knowledge than our finger . Kids .
Speaker 2Dude , if you don't have a knowledge , just jump on AI . Yeah . Yeah , ai can help you with it right , like it's stupid , like I speak in front of youth , right ? Yep , excuse me , I speak in front of youth . I'm like guys , you want to make an impact . You have no excuse not to Grab your camera , which you all have on your phone , yep , turn it towards yourself and start talking , yeah . Yeah , start being noticed , start standing out for something . Yeah , and anybody can do it .
Speaker 1Yep , yeah , I think personal brand is so important , your reputation is so important , but you have to put yourself out there If you're going to be recognized or be able to have this brand and to be able to create change in this world , and it's not even just in the world , like we talked about earlier . It's for your family , for your kids , for them to see you . Putting yourself out there and trying to make a difference is going to make a difference within them , right , and then that will continue to to you know , grow and to foster . And I mean you just gotta put yourself out there .
Speaker 2You're doing it with this podcast . Yeah , like this is not easy . Oh , like to schedule me and every other guys around everyone's schedule . You came here , they shut down the freeway . I mean that's insane what you're doing to get the word out there . I was on another podcast just recently and we talked about how these are living journals . Bro , I don't write in my journal . No , I don't Should .
Speaker 1I .
Speaker 2Yes , but or just do this . Yeah , Literally do this . This is you writing in your journal . That's why I call it a living journal . As long as this technology is around for years to come which it should be we'll be listening , we'll be watching , right , yeah ?
Speaker 1Your girls . You have two . How many girls ?
Speaker 2I have one girl and then three boys , one girl and three boys . Your three boys and your girl will be able to listen to this podcast . Yeah , and they'll be able to understand , wow .
Speaker 1I didn't know that about dad .
Speaker 2Oh , that's a great reminder , or whatever .
Speaker 1It's kind of cool when your oldest is like , hey , I listened to your podcast today and stuff like that . You're like , oh , that was awesome , right , 100% . Yeah , it's a good feeling .
Speaker 2Yeah , it's a great feeling , and so this is a way that you put yourself out there .
Speaker 2But , if I can just go over the rest of this just so the listeners are like wait , what about the rest of the victory chant ? I'll go through this fast . After I fight for light , I say I ignite extraordinary because I think a lot of people just want to fit in . I did and I'm like screw that , I ain't just going to be normal , I ain't just going to be ordinary , I'm going to ignite everything extraordinary . It's a powerful word .
Speaker 2Yeah , it is Now . Watch me Defy the odds . I am a victor In life . I believe we're all backed against a wall at some point and we get to choose victor or victim . Abundant victim mindset . What are we choosing ? Scarcity mindset , Selfish , or are we selfless ?
Speaker 1Yeah .
Speaker 2How do we live in that realm ? And then I say I was born to stand out , stand out , stand out . I believe we were all born to stand out . I believe we were all born to stand out . I believe we were all born to make a difference . Now , for the longest time I thought cruisant syndrome was such a curse , such a curse man . I would get made fun of it and stuff like that . But over time I realized that it's been one of the biggest blessings because it's allowed me to stand out without me even having to try .
Speaker 1Yeah . For real bro , yeah , yeah .
Speaker 2And I'm able to get on stages because and you're not just on stage , let me make this very clear You're not just on stage because you're born with a difference , whether you were burned or with one arm and no legs , or whatever , it's what you do with it .
Speaker 1That's the difference I was going to say . There's a lot of people that have a disability or something that puts them at odds to the norm , to societal norms right , but what they do with it is they allow society to tell them hey , you're different , you need to be in a corner . No one wants to hear from you , you don't want to be seen . It's very few , I think , that are able to take that difference and , like you said , use it as a platform to really stand out . You already stand out . You might as well make the best of it and and truly , let's stand out . Yeah , and that's I mean .
Speaker 1That's why I wanted to have you on the podcast . I mean you are just such a powerful individual and you know you ignite , you know this passion within other people just by your example and what you're doing . I mean you do it for your kids . I know that's your why . But I mean it's so much more than that and it's so far reaching . I mean you're on stage with 20 , 30,000 people and you know you do these podcasts and I mean there's just something about your presence and your message and just who you are . I mean it's completely authentic . I mean it's completely authentic . I mean , there's no , this isn't , you know , you trying to put on a show ?
Speaker 2This is just who you are right . I appreciate that .
Speaker 1Yeah , and it's just , it's so powerful and , like I said , that , the reach you have by just being you but not allowing society to tell you to , you know , go over and be in the corner . But you know , go over and be in the corner , but you know I'm going to get on stage Totally , yeah , it's amazing . Can you kind of explain to the listeners though , Like so cruzon you said , is an anomaly as far as a craniofacial type disorder , you were born with it Totally . I mean , let's go through that just a little bit and how that affected you as a child and things like that .
Speaker 2Yeah , totally so . Cranial facial anomaly , crouzon syndrome , affects the mid part of the face and the head . Yeah , and so what would happen is I would . In the times of growth or maturity where your face grows , the mid part of my face wouldn't grow . So it would affect a lot of times hearing . It would affect the way you breathe , obviously , yeah , and the way you look , the way you eat , the way you chew . I had a massive underbite for a lot of my life , like I couldn't eat and swallow steak and chew it and actually break it apart and swallow it until I was like 20-something years old .
Speaker 1Oh , really Wow .
Speaker 2I mean , I just I couldn't my mouth didn't function that way to grind it down and so . But it was not the physical part that would be the hardest , it would be the emotional part . Surprisingly right , I would heal you break an arm , you put a cast on . You heal it , it works right . Yeah , so it's the mental side that would be the hardest thing . And in life I talk about this all the time .
Speaker 2We it's easy not always easy , but it's an easy thing to check off saying I went to the gym , I did 100 reps . How often do we actually set the goals ? So at the beginning of the year , we're like like , yeah , I went to the gym , I did a . Y'all want to do a hundred reps every day . That's my New Year's resolution . But yet we don't say I want to go and do a hundred mental reps . Yeah , we don't talk about that .
Speaker 2And so it was hard for me to understand . Having Crohn's syndrome , how do I do the mental reps ? How do I understand that ? Is it therapy ? Is it psychologist ? I mean , what is it that's going to get me there ?
Speaker 2And for me it was understanding that we talked about this before we started the podcast , the disobedient to average theory that I have . And how do we choose to be disobedient to average ? And how did I start understanding to go against the norm , even though I wanted so bad to be normal . I cried to my parents saying I just want to be normal . And that's when my mom would say hey , you're different , let's make a difference , and not only that . You're going to get the attention , whether you like it or not . Under that attention , ben , let's shine .
Speaker 2And so what I would choose to do to give me some confidence and to give me those mental reps is do absolutely things that weren't average . So my coach would tell me to do 20 push-ups and I wouldn't do that . That was a minimum , yeah , yeah . And so I'd go above and beyond that . And oftentimes the physical reps can be , if done right , can be tied to the mental reps . Oh , 100% . And so when you choose to go above and beyond , it allows you to win before you ever have to win . Yeah , and I think this podcast being above the going beyond the whistle , or being above the whistle , Above the whistle you're way above what we choose .
Speaker 2You're way beyond the sport . I actually a few coaches out there , because I know you have a lot of coaches on the podcast and I've been a coach before . I used to rent a wrestling gym . We had a 7,500 square foot wrestling gym , 5,000 square feet of mat space . I'll throw dozens of hundreds of kids on this mat space . And along the way of being a coach , I realized something that we called the illusion , and I learned it from a coach up west on the West Coast and he said Ben , the moment that you coach and you realize it's not the sport , that's the illusion , and it's really that you're raising these kids or these athletes to be incredible humans . That's when you change lives .
Speaker 1You do .
Speaker 2And the moment little Tommy would come in the door and I knew he knew he was there for just wrestling , or he thought he was there for just wrestling .
Speaker 1That was the illusion .
Speaker 2There's a moment I had him in my hands and I could raise him to be an incredible dad , father , leader , community member , hero for other people . But you don't do that by just talking , you do it by showing , and so that was the fun thing .
Speaker 1How that was your former athletes like ? How many of these former kids did you coach have reached out now that you , you know , have gone on and started wrestling again ? And has anyone reached out to you ?
Speaker 2yeah , they have . As a matter of fact , just over the weekend we had a four-time state . He went on to be a four-time state champion in high school . He's literally been on the nation's best team at Penn State University , where they've had back-to-back-to-back national championships .
Speaker 1Yeah .
Speaker 2One and his name's Terrell Bearclough , and he's reached out and we've chatted . It's funny because you don't know what type of impact you made you don't . And they're just like hey , I just want you to know that I realized that I didn't just go to you for coaching of wrestling . Yeah , and they realized the illusion that they once didn't understand . Yeah .
Speaker 1I mean you asked me earlier , before the podcast started . You know why this topic , why this podcast ? Why did you name it Above the Whistle ? And it's for that . It's because the trajectory of a child's life can be impacted , especially in those formulative years , those young teenage years , by a really good coach . On the flip side of that , there's some bad coaches out there too .
Speaker 2That can have a negative impact right .
Speaker 1But these kids are going there thinking , hey , I'm going there to play football or I'm wrestling or playing baseball , but there's so many lessons to be learned through sport .
Speaker 1I think sport is a microcosm of society and , as a coach , we need to think much further and , you know , beyond the X's and O's of how can we truly impact these kids . The beginning of every practice at football I'll always start with , you know , some sort of you know story or a message of some sort of character building to focus on discipline or hard work or integrity or something , because those things are going to lead them to be , you know , great businessmen , great fathers , great husbands , great , just members of society , winning and all that . That's just a byproduct of what we're trying to do . Um , that , just that comes along , but I mean our , our focus is to really develop young men into , to really strong leaders for the
Overcoming Fear and Embracing Progression
Speaker 1next generation .
Speaker 2totally , you know so penn state does I mean they're ? They literally have one of the best wrestling rooms in the world , not just the country .
Speaker 1Yeah .
Speaker 2And they continually put out incredible athletes . Yeah , I was just listening to an interview of some of their athletes recently and it's interesting their perspective they approach it with . If you're an athlete , you understand the fear of failure and the fear of not being enough , the fear of losing , and that rings super true and so heavy on our hearts and our minds every day .
Speaker 1Yeah .
Speaker 2You just allow it to control you at a specific level . You just allow it to control you at a specific level . And it's interesting A lot of the Penn State athletes come to the mic . They say this . They say our goal in competition it's not about winning , it's about getting better and it's not about winning it's about getting better and it's about progressing . And if you go in and you're level 10 , which is the best level you can be at is scoring five points , but the other athletes score seven then you had a great match .
Speaker 2And instead of being disappointed because you got a loss on your record , you should be extremely happy because if you didn't achieve your potential at level 10 , dude , you would have got pinned , you know . And so I think there's a reason and there's an opportunity that we can always look at how to do that . I'll give you an example . Last fall 2023 , I found myself in Greece representing the USA at the World Championships . I would wrestle freestyle in Greco freestyle first , as I would get to the finals . I would go against a guy from Azerbaijan . He's very good . Wrestling is like a get to the finals . I would go against a guy from Azerbaijan .
Speaker 2He's very good . Wrestling is like a king sport out there . There's two periods . I go into the second period . I'm winning one to zero and the fear of failure hit me Crippled you Crippled me , bro . I stopped wrestling . Literally , my best move is what's called the front headlock . Okay , well , I well , I put their head in their arm , in my arms and like , basically , yeah , I put them in a spot where they don't feel comfortable bro okay and it's all legal , but they don't feel comfortable in this position .
Speaker 2I got in that position and I could have won and I literally didn't do anything . I froze . Fear of failure , fear of like not being there , haunted me . I lost silver medal , stood on the podium . American flag is in second position . Azerbaijan flag goes to the top . Azerbaijan national anthem gets played . It hit me so hard and I made the goal the next few days because I would have another opportunity , luckily to wrestle again in the sport of Greco-Roman wrestling . It's another Olympic style . I just made one decision I'm not going to stop . I don't care if it's wrestling crappy , I don't care if it's the best technique in the world . I'm going to choose not to stop . I'm going to choose to be progressive and advance .
Speaker 2Isn't it interesting , as I chose to do that , I wrestled Italy in the finals . Isn't it interesting is I chose to do that ? I wrestled Italy in the finals and um going to the second round ahead , and I wrestled to the point to where I didn't , so tenaciously I didn't stop that with 10 seconds left , he literally gave up .
Speaker 2Really he just he just he went to go shake my hand and I literally turned around and my family raised my hands , knowing I just won . And then my coaches are like no , no , no , no , no . I looked down on the clock .
Speaker 1There's now eight seconds on the clock , I'm like oh my gosh , and I turned around and knowing that he was like he could have still got , could have still .
Speaker 2Yeah , Because the way he gave up , I literally thought he was looking at the clock because I wasn't and he thought the match was over . It just goes to show that , as we shoot not to win , but to do our very best and show up , win , lose or draw , and have this goal . I tell my athletes this goal who cares , Win , lose or draw , whatever the outcome is , Make it to where they never , ever want to compete against you ever again .
Speaker 1I love that yeah .
Speaker 2And I did that in my second match , in my second finals . He literally gave up .
Speaker 1Yeah , with time left on the clock , with time left on the clock With time left on the clock , he gave up .
Speaker 2He literally stopped , he quit . He quit he quit and as we go in life with that type of mentality , tenaciously wanting to improve , I think that's a different perspective .
Speaker 1I think I mean you bring up failure and the fear of failure . It's a real thing , oh yeah , I think I mean you bring up failure and the fear of failure . It's a real thing , oh yeah . But I heard , and I think you've heard this as well look at failure as feedback . And I think , having that paradigm shift as opposed to failure as this devastating , just you know humbling experience that just levels .
Speaker 1You Look at it as a way to look yourself in the mirror and what can I do better ? What didn't I do in this match that I need to do in the next match ? Or , you know , in this game , what do I need to improve on ? Because I think that's a different way of looking at it , where it allows you to continue to , like you said , progress and to improve and to move forward , as opposed to I just lost , I'm the worst person ever . You know , I suck at this sport , I'm going to quit . That destroys you Totally , but to look at it just as a teaching lesson and it's a moment that allows you to see what hey , these are my weaknesses . Let's turn these weaknesses into strengths and get better .
Speaker 1Like you have , that just small , minor , just shift in thinking can make such a crucial like I mean a gigantic difference in the way you perform in your next match and over your career . I think it's powerful . Yeah , I love that . Yeah , so we're coming up on an hour . I think I just want to ask you a little bit more in regards to you know , you've done all this right . You got off the couch a couple years ago . You went , won the gold medal . You just competed again last what ? Two weeks ago ?
Speaker 2Yeah , less than that yeah .
Speaker 1What's next ? What are you going to do now ? To continue to show your kids hey , I'm getting out there , I'm still competing , I'm living my dreams ?
Speaker 2Totally
Overcoming Fear and Setting New Goals
Speaker 2. I think that's a hard thing sometimes because when you achieve a goal , let's say national championship , right , yeah , so last year I won both national titles , outscored my opponents , both national titles . When I say that for you listeners , there's two styles in the Olympic style and it's for my age group , I can wrestle both . I can wrestle freestyle and greco , which I chose to do .
Speaker 1Yeah .
Speaker 2And outscored my opponent 64-2 . I went back this year . I'm like , okay , what can I continue to do ? Because I think in the loss of a goal you start getting fear .
Speaker 1Yeah .
Speaker 2Let me say that again . In the dismissal or a dismissal is an interesting word Let me say this In achieving a goal , oftentimes you check off that box and you're like okay , now , what do I do ? Yeah , right , yeah , not that it's easy to do that again , but if you got a target on your back now and then you're just going back to defend the title , it's easier , when you've already won , to get fear because you're just like oh freak , now everyone's filming me , now they're watching me , now they're scouting me , and now it's not a surprise anymore . Now I'm expected , which is some pressure .
Speaker 2I just talked with a cheerleading team . They're the best in the country . They just won nationals and they won grand champion nationals last year in Florida and I just spoke to them the other day and they were going back out to nationals and I'm going to tie this to my story . They were going to go back out to nationals this year , but they were afraid . They're like we won it all last year . We won grand champion , which means that over all the categories of the thousands of teams , we scored the highest point 99.6 , or something which is almost perfect .
Speaker 1It's crazy . And how do you top that what you know ?
Speaker 2Yeah , it's nuts , it's nuts , and so well , you top it by getting a 99.7 . You top it by getting a 99.8 . That's how you do it . And so for me to go back to nationalsals how do I keep doing ? It is your question . You set new goals meaning okay , well , I'm not just going to go out in one weight , I'm going to wrestle two weights . And so I went down a weight and made weight and I was going to go up with two weights , and then USA Wrestling wouldn't allow me to do it , for liability , for whatever it was , for scheduling , interesting , okay . And I was so upset they didn't let me know officially until like the day before , and I had already lost the weight . I would have just went up to the normal weight I was at .
Speaker 1Right , yeah , like you said , it's not easy to lose weight at that point . No , it's not easy to lose weight at that point , no , it sucks and then so I changed my goal .
Speaker 2I shifted , instead of being a victim . Be like , oh man , I'm just going to come back and win this again . I'm like , I'm not going to let anybody score on me .
Speaker 1Okay .
Speaker 2So this year someone did score on me in a penalty point , but nobody scored an offensive point on me , where last year they scored a takedown which was two points . Yeah , I gave away one point this year which was a penalty point . Nobody took me down , wow , and I outscored my opponents a lot to one .
Speaker 1Yeah .
Speaker 2To the point that I set that goal that I set a couple minutes ago . Make it what I would tell my opponents or my athletes make it to where win my opponents or my athletes make it to where win , lose or draw . When they show up , they will never want to wrestle you again . And if you have your first guy under that mentality , everyone's watching you in the brackets the whole way and they're like oh no , I'm going against this .
Speaker 2Ben Carrick next I had it to a two grown men said they didn't want to wrestle me and literally wouldn't wrestle me .
Speaker 1Wow .
Speaker 2I think they wanted to keep their bones intact . Yeah , because when I get out there , man , and especially with my three kids in my corner , and then all my family . That came out . I don't care , man , I may lose , but you better freaking believe I'm going out swinging , yeah , like I'm a fighter . I'm not the most technical , I'm not the most skilled , probably not the strongest in the world , not the fastest , but , bro , I'll fight .
Speaker 1You'll bring it .
Speaker 2I'll bring it every time at the top of my level , assuming I don't allow that fear to get in the way . You know who the most dangerous people are , the people who have a careless attitude to fear . I think oftentimes I've said this before . We allow fear to be undefeated because we never step up and say , hey , where are you going ?
Speaker 1Yeah .
Speaker 2You're not welcome here . Confront it , door's locked , get out of here . Look it in both eyes , spit in both eyes and say , hey , you ain't welcome bro . Yeah , now you're either going to get real friendly in this room and you better change your mentality so we're going to get familiar with each other , or you ain't welcome and so change into not being a fear . Change your name tag or go next door , because you're more welcome next door .
Speaker 1Yeah , yeah . People ask me . You know , I did this triathlon just a couple of weeks ago .
Speaker 2Which is big time . By the way , it's awesome . It was fun .
Speaker 1But I've never done an open water swim and man with a bunch of talk about a bunch of people . Yeah , kicking you and you know you're just throwing elbows and trying to clear space . And you know , yeah , the water's murky and it's cold and and , yeah , beer , you know it'll grab you . And people are like oh , you must love swimming , no , I hate swimming I hate it .
Speaker 1But because I have a fear of it and because I hate it , I want to confront it and I wanted to go and show that I could overcome that and I could beat that right . Like you talked about it earlier , there's the physical aspect of sport and as you get older that amplifies . But it's the mental aspect , the mental challenges that come through the physical , that really get my juices going and make me want to go out and prove to myself that I can do it . It's those challenges , it's the mental game myself that I can do it . Yeah , it's those challenges . It's the mental game . Like before that triathlon it was raining and I'm like okay , so I'm going to go do an open water swim in this , you know , 60 degree water , 59 degree water with rain .
Speaker 1Yeah , with hundreds of people around me and I've never like , yeah , that fear . I mean it's real , but the mental challenge of it to try to overcome that and say no . Like you said , we're going to get real friendly here , so let's buckle up right and get after it . It's awesome . I mean that's yeah .
Speaker 2And that's the rare breed , brother . The rare breed is the people who are willing to confront it . That's the difference . It's it's grit and the ability to um , the ability to also just publicly be seen as a failure and be seen as like putting it out there and not achieving . Yeah , those are the most dangerous people in the world . Yeah , the moment you have that mentality of like all right , take off your shirt , give me the gloves . I'm throwing haymakers and I ain't stopping , and I know you're better than me . I'm throwing haymakers and I ain't stopping , and I know you're better than me . I know the water's scary , I know I can drown , I know now the conditions are completely different than being inside a gym or inside a pool where there's no waves , there's no rain , your body has a temperature that's function , not in 50 degree water where your muscles seize way easier , seize up and your lungs are gasping for air .
Speaker 1Completely it's totally different .
Speaker 2And you still say give me the wetsuit , yeah , let's roll , let's go , let's go , that's beautiful .
Speaker 1Yeah . So I know you've been working on a documentary right . You have this passion project you've been doing for the last year or so . Can you kind of speak to that ? I know it's kind of a . We talked about the living legacy , the living journal earlier , you know ? Yeah , Talk to us a little bit about this documentary .
Speaker 2I appreciate it , man . So , as you're doing this podcast , that you're leaving behind for everybody but your kids god you know god willing I'm knocking on wood now that that we don't go leave here and get hit in a car accident and who knows you ? Never know , your kids will be able to have this . I had the opportunity . I'm hiking on kilimanjaro okay hike down .
Speaker 2It didn't have phone service . I have this little tech or this little message , voice message from a guy who does a bunch of documentaries and movies and he just recently was a huge part of a documentary for um the american gladiators , if you remember them it's called muscles and mayhem .
Speaker 1It's on netflix .
Speaker 2I think I've seen it actually , yeah , yeah so he just did , he just was a part of that .
Speaker 1Okay .
Speaker 2And he said Ben , we've been watching you from afar for years and we feel like now's the time . Are you open to doing a story about your life , and it'll be a documentary ?
Speaker 1Yeah .
Speaker 2And I had to think about it because it's something you put out there . You see your failures , you see your losses , your wins , everything in between . And then you put attention on your family and then we came to an understanding of what that would look like and we started filming about a year ago and we're going to finish it , I think , this year . We're going to launch that documentary which is called Stand Out , which is called Stand Out and it's basically exactly what I have in my victory chant that in life , we have the opportunity to stand out and not fit in .
Speaker 2And though the majority of my life , I wanted to fit in at some point . You're going to choose that living life is best lived while standing out . I love that , and so that's going to be followed up with a book as well . Oh , awesome , okay , and , and that's going to be .
Speaker 1I've always heard , writing a book is one of the most difficult undertakings that someone can do . Has that been the case with you ? Do you have a pseudo writer that's helping you out ?
Speaker 2I'm looking for one .
Speaker 2Literally . I'm looking at it like I'm eating a massive . Well , I've never written a book . I've only had a bunch of friends that have done it and I'm like , what am I doing ? And yes , it's tough , but what better things to leave to my kids than something that can be written ?
Documentary Project Collaboration and Distribution
Speaker 2Obviously , we'll do an audible version , something that can be heard and listened to and something that can be watched in a documentary for years and years to come . So , as people have questions , they can check it out on my website . They'll have the opportunity to go on my social media .
Speaker 1What's your website again ?
Speaker 2It's bencarecom B-E-N . My last name is K-J-A-R , so ben K-J-A-Rcom , K-J-A-Rcom . And social media on Instagram , Facebook . They'll be able to see that on YouTube and we'll give little clips as time comes closer . Yeah , and man , it would mean the world if you would help me with my living journal and my legacy as we get it ready .
Speaker 1Absolutely , man , like I said before , you inspire those around you , so doing this project , I mean it's going to touch millions , I have no doubt . So I'm excited to see the documentary and do you know , I mean I'm assuming they'll try to sell it to Netflix or , you know , get distribution rights or something .
Speaker 2Yeah , and once we get to that point we'll do the review . Not the review , but we'll watch it and we'll find out what the best avenues are . Film festivals we just recently presented at the Zions Film Festival here . Oh , cool About the movie . We'll be in film festivals . We did another presentation up in idaho to the premiere .
Speaker 1Heck , yeah , yeah , heck yeah .
Speaker 2We'd love that we'd absolutely love that , and so there'll be the film festivals , maybe a theater , a theater release yeah in some areas , and then also I mean places like netflix and other subscription models . Uh , make sense yeah and uh man , it's a huge undertaking . It's intimidating in many factors but , it's super exciting too .
Speaker 1Oh , I can only imagine , man , like I said , it's it's going to touch millions of people's lives . So , dude , I can't wait , I'm stoked for you . I appreciate you , man , awesome , thanks , guys .