7. PEP Talk for when others think you have it easy

This episode was inspired by a conversation I had with a client today. She shared how others often perceive her success as effortless, even though it took significant struggle to get where she is! And sometimes, she STILL struggles. This led her to feeling very misunderstood and not seen. If you’ve ever felt similarly, this episode is for you.

We’ll dive into why people only see the highlight reel, how to own your journey without guilt, and why your struggles don’t diminish your success. Let this be a reminder that even when others don’t understand, your hard work MATTERS.

Transcript

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Welcome to Success Through Scars. The podcast where we turn our most painful struggles into our greatest success stories. I'm Annie Calvineso, a multi passionate entrepreneur, business mentor, and professional singer who's overcome anorexia, CPTSD, depression, and anxiety. Each week, you'll hear powerful stories of resilience from people who have transformed their deepest pains into testimonies of strength. If you're feeling lost or broken, but have big goals, you're in the right place. Whether your scar comes from a traumatic past, a break up, A near death experience or a mental health struggle, remember this, your scars are proof that you survived, and scar tissue rebuilds and repairs itself, and you come out stronger on the other side. I hope this podcast can bring you the hope you need to keep going. Let's walk this journey of finding success through scars together. Hello, hello, and welcome back to another episode of Success Through Scars. I am recording this episode today because I just had a coaching call with a client and she was talking about how she felt a little bit guilty sharing some of her wins. She is very successful and I think to the outside world, her success Might look effortless and might look easy. I think that is true for a lot of those of us who are successful and for myself included. When I started openly talking about my mental health, I think it was a big shock for a lot of people because people didn't realize how much I was struggling. And I think that this is kind of twofold. One part has to do with being the strong one, right? Being the person that people go to when they are struggling, and you are always the one holding space for people. And you might feel like you can't share with other people when you're struggling. You might struggle to be vulnerable because You don't want people to maybe think less than of you. Maybe you've built up a reputation being successful, being empowered, being confident, and you don't want anything to tarnish that reputation. Raise your hand if you relate. I do. I'm raising my hand. I know you can't see. But anyways. That's kind of part one of it. Part two of it is people who are just maybe naturally good at things. And this is definitely true for my client. She's naturally good at a lot of things. She's so good at things that she makes it look easy. And I gave her this analogy of a duck swimming, right? When a duck is swimming, They look like they're just kind of gliding across the water effortlessly. But the duck is kicking its feet frantically underwater and is actually working really, really hard to make it look effortless on the surface. So, if you find yourself in a situation where you're maybe seen by other people as always having it together, and oh, things just come so easily for her, or she's strong, she's tough, she's got it, what people don't realize is that One, you're not always tough. You just don't show those parts because maybe you had a childhood experience where you didn't feel safe to be vulnerable, which, let's be honest, most of us don't. Like, vulnerability should be reserved for those closest to us. But then the other part of this is maybe you make it look easy and you don't want to victimize yourself when you're going through something difficult. And that's okay. So it might look easy to other people, but you know the truth. You know that you are working really hard towards something, and just because other people are only seeing the highlight reel doesn't mean that you're not working hard at it, or that you didn't have your struggles I hope that this is helpful as you continue on the path towards success to know that some people just might not get it. But those that get it will get it, trust me. That's why I can relate to my clients struggles because I've been through very similar things. I've been through. Not feeling like I have people who understand just how much work I've put into things when they're only seeing the highlight reel, and they're maybe putting me on a pedestal and viewing me as this super successful person without seeing the struggles. And don't get me wrong, I am a super successful person, but I've also been through my fair share of struggles, and I've learned that being open and honest about them, really helps to relate to other people, but also that vulnerability in the moment should be reserved for my closest people in my life. And just because sometimes I make it look easy because you're not seeing everything doesn't mean that it's easy. It's just like the duck gliding along the surface of the water. So I hope this is helpful for you. This was a really quick episode today. Leave me a Review if you enjoyed this follow the podcast and I will see you next time on success through scars. Thanks