0:00:01 - Temple
Okay, welcome everybody to I Married Bipolar.  Davina, can you un-mic? Absolutely Okay, wow. 

0:00:10 - Davina
That came through like loud and clear. I'm so used to yelling because my other headphones didn't make my voice up, so now I'm like trying to moderate my volume, and anybody who knows me is gonna know that's a struggle. 

0:00:21 - Temple
I know it's been a struggle, I know. So I was like whoa, okay, you're all the way here. I love it. Tomoko, are you here? You're up on the stage, you want to unmute yourself and say hello. 

0:00:49 - Tomoko
Hi, hi everybody, I'm Tomoko. I'm Japanese and I can't speak English very well, but I enjoy this program. So I just wanted to say hi and thank you for your effort. Oh, you're welcome, tomoko. You live in Japan right now. Yeah, yeah, I'm Japanese. Wow, well, look at that. 

0:00:57 - Temple
We made it to Japan. Let's celebrate that. Welcome and I'm glad you came, thank you, thank you. Well, thank you for coming up and saying hello to us. Here's my title and here's glad you came, thank you, thank you. Well, thank you for coming up and saying hello to us. Here's my title and here's where it came from. 

Untoxic positivity is when people feel good about whatever. The vibe is right. It just feels positive. It's natural. Somebody comes in and says, gosh, you look really beautiful and it's authentic and it feels good. That's that's authentic positivity, right? Or you're going through a hard time and you feel you know. Your girlfriend says man, I know you're going through something really hard right now, but what I can say to you is that I know you're a really strong person and that you've gone through a lot of things in life already, so I'm here for you, but I really believe that you're going to find your way through this. I do believe that that's authentic positivity. I've already seen you go through things hard, so I believe that you can get through this as well. But I'm here for you if you need to cry or you need to yell. And then there's a toxic positivity which go ahead, davina, let me, let me volley over to you. Can you give us an example of toxic positivity? 

0:02:18 -Davina
It's not that bad, it'll get better One day. You know, like the discounting of the reality of you feeling these emotions right now and instead being like you know, just shake it off. You know, some people have had it bad and it's like OK, thank you for totally invalidating me. Now I know where not to go when I need support or encouragement, because you just dismissed everything I'm going through and I would never do that to you. 

0:02:47 - Temple
Oh, okay, so the shake it off. Does anybody have parents like that? I have a dad who is hyper positive. He's uncomfortable with a lot of negativity. He's a wonderful person. I love him. He's an amazing man. 

He managed hundreds of people at once, okay. So he's the kind of guy that can hold space for a lot of people. So his desire is to lift things up. You don't want to let 200 people going down the drain right At once as a manager. His management styles also carried over to his parenting style, which it wasn't necessarily shake it off. 

I won't say that, not like, uh, you know, somebody falls down, like your kid falls down. You're like, just shake it off, just shake it. Not like that. He's definitely a good daughter's dad because you know we, we cry, I cried a lot and he would leave, leave space for tears and, you know, fits, and then he would. He would kind of go, hey, come on, come on, it's not that bad, try to guide us out of going down the rabbit hole. 

So now, you know, as an adult woman, I still have reasons to cry and have fits and I go to my dad and he can take, oh, maybe 10 minutes of it, 10 or 15 at the most, and then he's like man, that's really crappy. I'm sorry to hear you going through that, but is there anything good in your life? So I don't want to. I don't want to label that a toxic positivity for him. I label it as his personal boundary of how much he can stay with me before he starts feeling shitty. And that's what he says. He's like I can't, I can't hear anymore. This is messing me up. 

0:04:45 - Davina
Can I ask you a question about your dad? Yeah, did he have somebody who held space for him to be able to do those things? And maybe he's just doing the best his you know empathy has, like he's just trying to lift you up, but he didn't have somebody to kind of walk him through the like. 

0:05:02 - Temple
this gets to be a messy part have somebody to kind of walk him through the like. This gets to be a messy part. 

0:05:08 - Davina
Well, that's a good question, and let's, let's reroute it that he also married bipolar, oh so he's gotta shake it off or he'd be depressed and sitting in a corner rocking back and forth for sure yes, ma'am, now, yes, nailed it because there's only one person that could have all the attention. 

0:05:24 - Temple
Right, or any negative attention I mean negative, like you know, throwing a fit Only bipolar could have had that attention. So my dad wasn't allowed to throw fits or get mad really off. Pull himself together to be the stability that my mom couldn't be. So that's how that happens. Ergo, that's how temple turns into the same person. But, difference being, I don't know, I can go. I can go down the rabbit hole with people. I do it all all the time. 

So something's different. There's a level of empathy. I think that, because my dad provided a safe space for me to fall apart when I needed to, it doesn't hurt me really to be in front of clients or be in front of the group when somebody is really hurting. As a matter of fact, I don't know what you would call this, maybe you guys can analyze me but it draws me in closer. When somebody's really going through something hard, like their parent died or they're going through a divorce, there's something that kicks in and like an adrenaline that kicks in, that I draw in closer to them and many, many, many times I've been like maybe the one or two people in somebody's life that they were telling what the worst thing was happening at home with it. Nobody was even advertising it, and I held those secrets for them, so I don't know what that is what is that? 

0:07:02 - Davina 
that's you being safe for us to fall apart. And what's great about you is you're not like oh, I'm so sorry that's happening to you, and like platitudes and pat me on the head. You're like you know what that really fucking sucks. But like you don't swear like that, but I do, but like what are three things we can do right now to try to change it and flip the narrative? Try to change it and flip the narrative. You are the queen of helping me flip the narrative and process in real time so that it becomes habit, so that that big shit doesn't get so overwhelming. 

0:07:33 - Temple
Ah, okay, oh yes, I like everything you just did right there. That was un-toxic positivity. Now, you just gave me that. You totally like. I have chills right now on my back. You just like sent me so much healing in like two seconds. I felt that throughout my whole body. That was so wonderful, you guys. That's what I'm talking about today is the untoxic positivity, because I I just set divina up. I don't know if you followed along there, but I asked her, I didn't even follow along. 

Yeah, add came to play. Thank you for playing along. But I asked Davina for help right there, and what did she do? She gave me a response of a clear view that she has about me, and then she loved on me. It was instantaneous for her to remember something about me, so she reflected that back, reminded me who I am and then praised me for it and, like, put me back together in a few seconds. So that's what I'm talking about today is we're going to un-toxic some positivity by flipping the narrative. Thank you, davina, for setting me up that I am the flip the narrative queen by saying that, okay, let me know if this triggers anybody. All things are working for our good. Does that make anybody mad when I say that All things are working for our good? That's a principle. It's a spiritual principle that I've grown up with over the last 30 years. It's a principle that you'll find in many traditional dogmatic teachings as well that God is in your favor and there's a song all things are working for my good. 

It's intentional in so many ways, like that song has been in my head for years. All things are working for my good, and what an insult. That is right when you see the things that you don't want to be living with. How dare you universe, tell me that that's working for my good? So we're're going past just the negative. I mean the toxic positivity of you know, your random Sally. But what about God? What about the universe trying to tell you that this is all for your good. Even the dumpster fires are for your good. 

Okay, take a breath on that, all right. So here's what. Here's how it's going to work. What I want to do is I'm going to over positivity. You, in a way, bridget and Davina, that's going to be so quick that it's going to flip it so fast. All right, now we're going to do it both ways. We're going to play along. Tell me something that has been a big challenge for you right now. Share with everybody something that just doesn't make sense. Why do you have to deal with this right now? Can you give me some of that? 

0:11:02 - Bridget
Yes, I've been dealing with my husband having some depressive symptoms while we're trying to plan a big move and, you know, just feeling very much alone and like making the decisions and even having his buy in. You know, something that should be positive for most people is a negative for me. Why me? 

0:11:26 - Temple
Yes, why you, bridget? Okay, so you're trying to move, but your husband's having breakthrough symptoms of Depression and he's not really cooperating with the all the events that come along with moving and the excitement that comes along with moving, planning where you're gonna go picking your new house, things like that. Is that correct? You got it okay. So here's my answer for that. Here's my response to that. 

0:11:54 - Bridget
Good, good, that's, that's the whole thing. 

0:12:05 - Temple
Good, good, I'm glad that's happening. I'm glad this is happening right now. You know why? Because there's something working for your good but we just haven't seen it. Just, oh, davina's like eyes on. 

Okay, it's good because you have short vision right now. You have short sighted vision about your move. Right, that's short term we got to. We have an agenda, we have a thing we have to get from A to Z and we have some steps in between. So your vision right now is short, but God's vision is long. 

This is where we have to get a little trust about why are things happening in our favor when it doesn't look good right now? Because you're short-sighted, you don't know yet. You don't know what your new place is going to look like. You don't know what your new neighborhood is going to look like. You don't know when you get there, if maybe your husband needs this depression feeling right now so that he can open up once he gets to the new space. 

I mean, just stick with me, bridget, you can laugh at me, but what if symptoms were coming no matter what? What if there was no way to avoid a bipolar cycle? So what if he's getting it out of the way while he's safely away from you. And what if you take the time, while you're by yourself, to strengthen up your personal voice on how to ask for what you want, how to tell him that you need to be close to him, how to tell him that you miss him and you want to be closer when we get to the new place, how to really be able to say it without him squashing it. You're doing that. You're practicing right now. You're practicing how to tell him what you want in this relationship, while you have time alone with the doggies and Marco Polo with Temple and Marco Polo with Temple, and then you're gonna be in a new space. A new space, all new, fresh that we don't have to bomb it with bipolar energy because he's already flipped it. He's already let it out of the bag for you what do you think? 

0:14:31 - Bridget
I mean, I think some of your points are good, right, but I think what you're missing Temple is the acknowledging my feelings. 

0:14:44 - Temple
Oh, you need him to acknowledge your feelings. 

0:14:46 - Bridget
No, you to acknowledge my feelings right Because you just were like good, Good. 

0:14:51 - Temple
Yeah. 

0:14:53 - Bridget
Yes. So what can you do that this is happening? Like I think the key to being positive and being solutions oriented or problem solving right, like like you gave a lot of good points, but you know, I think first of all, like when you're responding to someone, you do need to be like, yeah, you know it sucks that that's like a part of this disease, that big changes, even good ones, can bring out symptoms. But let's think about, like, what you can do. You know, like that's I get what you were doing right and I don't know if this was like a trick or a game. 

0:15:32 - Temple
I know they weren't prepped. They weren't prepped for this. Okay, of course. Of course we acknowledge each other's feelings. That's what we do, right? We're? We do that a lot, especially our moderators and me, and if you're my client, we acknowledge our feelings a lot. You guys are great about acknowledging me when I'm hurting. I'm not saying this is for every situation. I'm saying let's just try a new spin on things every once in a while, because we all know we're good at going down the rabbit hole. 

0:16:07 - Bridget
Oh, I see what you're saying. Yeah, no for sure. And I think, like I was just saying to my friend the other day on a hike she was saying something about her husband, who I think you know I've now diagnosed him with depression that sometimes it is your mindset, right? If your mindset is that your life is chaotic or there's nothing to do or everything's bad, then that's probably how things are going to feel and that's probably how you're going to live your day to day life going to feel and that's probably how you're going to live your day to day life. So you know a lot of it is up to you to at least keep a positive outlook, even while you have to be realistic or say, like, like you said, how can I make this an opportunity to strengthen myself, fortify myself, practice what I'm going to say like? You know all these things. So I get you now. 

0:16:56 - Temple
Okay, all right, bridget's in the game now? Okay, good, thank you, bridget, I knew you would. What I'm saying is that we're all very deep thinkers, okay, and very deep feelers. We're all empathic, we're all connected to all things at all times, and it's really hard on us as the emotional bearers of all things. So I'm just looking for some, some hacks, and this is one of the oldest hacks that I learned through going to the church of spiritual living. Was this teaching is? 

They would always circle me back to remind me that all things are working for my good, and it would drive me nuts when they said that. You know, I'm like. No, I want to manifest something different. I don't like this, let's move it. And they would say well, it'll move when it's time for it to move in your best and highest good, where are you in this experience that you're at right now? What is it doing for you? It's making me mad. Okay, what about making you mad? Is working for you? Well, it's forcing me to focus on what I don't like. Okay, temple, then what is it that you can do about it? Well, maybe I could ask for help. Absolutely, who's your people? Who do you call? You see what I'm saying, even when things are going crappy, it is forcing you to look for the good, because you might have forgotten, because you're too overwhelmed, trying to get the thing that you can't get. Trying to control the thing that you can't control is sucking all the energy out of the room, is sucking all the energy out of the room. But there's still other things that are there that are good for us, that we can't pay attention to right now because we're too distracted by the crappy thing. What if anytime? I saw a guy saying this on a video and this has been me many times. I'll have to admit to this I don't call it toxic positivity. I call it getting in alignment with your best good Cause. 

When a when a girlfriend, when a friend calls me up and says I lost my job, or I'm about to lose my job, or they're laying people off, or I just lost my job, the first thing I say is good. It just comes out of my mouth Good, oh, good, okay, so you're done with that job. That's why you're done. We can go through the reasons why it hurts that you lost that job, but we've already been talking about that for a while. Why the job was shitty, what was going on. They were cutting back. You're scared finances, we know all that. It's all there, it's all there. 

And then the thing that you were afraid the most happened to happen happens. There's nothing you can do about it now. You cannot turn it back now. So you might as well say, good, okay, good, you know why? Because you were done with that, you've been done with that. You needed a change, but you were afraid to make a move. But your energy was telling the universe I need to change, I need to change, I need to change, I need to change until finally, boom change comes. And change doesn't always look pretty so good. I'm glad you lost your job because you're going to get a much better job. Or you're going to get a much better job, or you're going to get unemployment and take some time off, like something is working in your favor. How's that feeling? 

0:20:44 - Davina
Toxic positivity doesn't acknowledge them, which brings this dynamic in where it's like if it's somebody you know, like if you were to tell me that temple first of all I'd be like fuck you. But I'm going to listen. But were to tell me that temple first of all, I'd be like fuck you. 

But I'm gonna listen, but if this was, somebody on the street, a family member you already have conflict with, or something like that. You know that would. I'd be like, yeah, I'm done with this conversation with you now, because that's no well, all right. 

0:21:09 - Temple
Well, let's keep working. Let's try it again, okay, divina, let's you want to play? Of course, ma'am, you want to say fuck you now, or you want to hold it. 

0:21:20 - Davina
I'll hold that. 

0:21:21 - Temple
I'll table that for this moment you'll table that for later, okay, thank you I think, if you're ready to work on your shit, this conversation would go really well. 

0:21:29 -Davina
But if somebody's coming at you sideways and you don't want to hear it and you don't want to acknowledge their feelings or what's going on in reality, that's when you get to the fuck you part. You know. 

0:21:39 - Temple
Yes and most of my friends have been my friends for 20 plus years, right, so they already know that they can. They can call and they and cry and I will hold them and then they can call and tell me that they're going through a divorce and I will say, well, he's a fucking asshole and it's his lot, right, they know, but there's a, there's a place there that also you can rely on me to say good, I'm glad this finally happened. You know change was needed, so I that that might hurt you, but I think actually you're going to be relieved when you see the other side of it. It's an aerial view. So, ok, let's play. Let's play. Davina, what happened when your love one came out of rehab and then you thought, okay, this was a step forward, you guys were about to like reconnect, but something happened instead what happened, girlfriend? 

0:22:43 - Davina
more than that, oh, and then he relapsed with said girlfriend in oklahoma after he came here and I tried to make sure that the surgery he was going through and his life was safe. 

0:22:54 - Temple
And then what? 

0:22:56 - Davina
And then I started taking your class and he went and got married. Aha, good, you are correct, because it forced me and catapulted me into what the fuck are you doing? Land Like, why are you constantly compromising yourself? Your needs happiness because he's sick? Okay, cool. But if he's not going to do anything about it and he doesn't want to acknowledge the reality that his illness brings to this table, then I'm not sitting at the table with him. That's not fair. 

0:23:29 - Temple
No, wow look what happened right there. Oh my, didn't anybody else get firecrackers? I was waiting for my fuck you. But instead you got empowered and immediately told me why it was good that he did what he did. 

0:23:51 - Davina
because you needed to see the reality of the relationship, right Cause you already helped me go through the fuck you part, the sad part, the angry part, the bitter part. You helped me dig through that in a way that I didn't even know was possible and I still ended up okay and now I'm safe and I know what that looks like and I can build on that and I deserve that. And I'm not trying to be an infomercial for your program. Okay, but it fucking worked, oh please sell away. 

0:24:21 - Temple
Please come to the next heart healers group. I mean any. Everybody should go to the heart healers group. I have no shame in selling that program. Go on my website and sign up for heart healers. Okay, you don't even have to know the date yet. 

0:24:34 - Davina
on my website and sign up for heart healers, okay, you don't even have to know the date yet, you just need to sign up for it. If you need healing with your partner, catherine told me on Marco Polo. She was like you know. I have been doing the work, doing the digging, trying to do the self-exploration, the therapy, the psychiatrist, the yada, yada, yada and nothing has moved like this. So I'm gonna keep doing this because it's working for me. Oh, like girl go. 

0:24:58 - Temple
I just love this group. You know what? I just love this group. Now you get to do me. You get to hit me with one who wants to be my person, bridget or Davina. You have one line to say it's gonna be good. Okay, so be. I need a volunteer. All right, what? 

0:25:15 - Davina
okay, I'm giving Bridget a chance because I feel like she's more gentle than I am. I'm just like what would you like? 

0:25:21 - Temple
okay, well ask me how. 

0:25:23 - Davina
I'm doing. What's one thing that lately has just been too much. 

0:25:28 - Temple
I'm frustrated that my mom needs so much help right now and I know that I'm really the only person available for her and I'm at a peak point that my career is going really good and the ball is rolling and I'm finally taking off and I want to put all my energy into my work and my clients all my energy into my work and my clients and instead I'm having to space things out and redirect my time to just be present with my mom, as you know selfish, as that sounds it's it's frustrating me that's not selfish, but I can tell you I don't want to say the word good, but you miss. 

0:26:14 - Davina
No, you have to say it. 

0:26:15 - Temple
That's the you have to say it. That's the game. You have to say it. That's how you play the game. 

0:26:19 - Davina
Good, because now you can't force yourself into a fucking burnout because you want to get all the things done. You have them all written down, you have everything laid out always, and it makes you suffer because you don't slow down to do the things that make you feel good too. Just you, your body, pay attention to it and you don't, and I love you okay, you templed me, so let's, let's go step further. 

0:26:47 - Temple
You know what else temple? Maybe your career is going to get really busy super busy in the way that you like it, and you need this time to get centered and to clear off some things that are taking energy away, to be ready for the next level that you've been writing down and praying for, like it's inevitable that it's going to happen. It's not a if it's a when. It's inevitable that it's going to happen, it's not a if it's a win. So maybe it's good that you're taking some time to be with your mom when she needs you most, so that you can turn it on when it's time instead of being in a hurry there. I templed myself. 

0:27:30 - Davina
What if this happens six months from now? And things were so much bigger, you wouldn't be able to take the time. You may not? I'm sure you try to cram that shit in, but you got to be good to you too, ma'am. 

0:27:42 -Temple
Yes, thank you, Davina. I received that. I received it. It didn't hurt me. 

0:27:50 - Temple
All things are working for my good. They are intentional in every way. 

0:27:58 - Temple
So that's a part of my faith that I do surrender to the unseen happen when you manifest it. You pray for it, you manifest it, it happens, feels so good. But the unseen part, that's really hard. But that's where the magic is. You know it's in the unseen, it's in the etheric, it's when you know what you know, but you just can't see it. Yet. That's when I feel closest to my source, is when I know what I know, but but I can't see it. All right, Catherine, come on up. 

0:28:36 - Catherine
Oh, I was gonna say go ahead. Hi Catherine. You know, you see people who do get stuck in their negativity too right? So if you can't solution your way out of it or kind of find, well, what does this mean, maybe for the bigger picture, like you said to me. Like, zone out a little bit. You know, you see how they get stuck for years just in the same talk track to themselves of I was wrong or this happened, or this is bad, and like I'm always like who wants to live like that? 

0:29:07 - Temple
Yeah. So, Bridget, when you see something that's happening with somebody and then it's falling apart, you're like good well. 

0:29:18 - Temple
I mean, I haven't tried that tech yet. Okay, it's more like relationship based, right, not with me. Other dynamics I see and I'm like, have you considered the other person's perspective? Like maybe what they did had nothing to do with you? You know, like I do try to get them to shift their thinking a little bit, but you know, some people just don't want to hear that and they just want to vent to you and I guess, like you just have to know when that person could receive it right so how do you good when your loved one takes off Right? 

0:29:54 - Bridget
Oh yes. 

0:29:56 - Temple
We've. We've, a lot of us have heard that one. We felt that one. What is good about someone running away sick? What is good about that? The short view is oh my God, what a fucking shit show. My loved one ran. I'm terrified. My rent is due. He spent the money, he took the money, took the car, all the things that come along with a really scary, manic episode. Okay, now, first of all, let me qualify here. If you are my client and you call me up with that story, I'm not going to go good, of course not. I'm going to love you first. But what is the good in that? And I mean I can just speak for myself, okay, because I've had two runaways. Well, one runaway and one. 

I sent him away because he was killing me. Bipolar was. Bipolar was literally eating my energy like a cancer. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't see, I was in a panic every day my life was falling apart. I couldn't hold him together, I couldn't hold us together. I had no idea how to fix this and I tried every trick in my book, every trick, and he ran. 

And that six months that he was gone was the most rejuvenating time I had had in years. It forced me to get quiet. It forced me to hold still. It forced me to call my friends again, and I took really good care of myself during that time. I didn't drink, I didn't take extra drugs besides the ones that were prescribed to me. I sat with myself and I really thought about what I wanted. 

And when the time came, what I said was I will do whatever I have to do to help my husband, to keep him safe, and I also want to be safe. So if you're going to use me to take care of him, god, so if you're going to use me to take care of him, god, you're going to have to take care of me. And then my husband texted me just like that. And I've been taken care of every step of the way. If I needed to be home, I've been home. If I needed money, I've had money. I've had a house, I've had food. I've had cars I've had everything has been taken care of while my husband's been sick. So sometimes they're gone so that you can clean up what's going on inside of you, to be ready, to be ready. All right, are we feeling untoxified? Yet Catherine did come up. I wanted to make sure that she came up for a reason. Did you want to say hi to us, Catherine? 

0:32:57 - Catherine
Hello, yeah, I guess because I was trying to respond to what you were saying about how you're feeling and having to take care of your mom in a time when you're busy you're busy with work, you're busy trying to grow your business and probably felt quite overwhelmed and whatever. This was the script of saying good. So I would say good to you. And why would I say that is because two things came to mind. Is because two things came to mind. One, from your business perspective, it's allowed you to delegate and I can speak from experience because I'm a client and Davina's there, hey girl. 

And I have had some packages in place with Temple and our first one-on-one was to go through our safety plan. I have had some packages in place with Temple and our first one-on-one was to go through our safety plan and I really was excited about everything and getting on the Temple train and I could feel that Temple was very preoccupied with her mom rightfully. So we were trying to tie down a one-on-one and you know she was going to doctor appointments and trying to keep it all together. That's how life works, right If you're a business woman, you know you still got your personal shit right and she basically said you know I have Davina who's my assistant and would be able to do the safety plan with you. I said okay, and then Davina and I got together and had a wonderful exchange and now we have a relationship. 

So I would say good, because you can now delegate further and you can spread your wings and develop your business, probably in ways you may not have accelerated if your mom wasn't sick, if you know what I'm saying. So that would be number one, and number two is you got your hubby to move in to help you out. Now I'm sure that's come with a few challenges, as you've shared with us. But you're living together, apart. And he said to you, his wife I'm going to come and help. Maybe that opened up a little window for your relationship to. I don't know if it has thrived, perhaps not, but it was maybe a stepping stone in your relationship. That's why I would have said good there you go. 

0:35:42 - Temple
Catherine, that was an applause for you. That was an amazing temple you just did on me. 

0:35:50 - Bridget
That was so good, oh my God, I templed you, you templed me so hard. 

0:35:58 - Temple
I love it. No, I love it. You couldn't have done a better job. You are exactly right that I was nervous about handing over any control about anything to anyone, but I trust Bridget and Davina. I've been wanting to expand for quite a while. You know how am I going to. I'm trying to duplicate myself. I don't want to be the only person that has this information. This needs to spread right. So I already know that, bridget and Davina, they know. They know what these safety plans are about. They know what the bipolar symptoms are about. I can eat with confidence. Ask them to talk to any of my clients and go through the symptoms list or the safety plan, and I was right. And you, you got to be the person to validate that for me. Catherine, thank you. 

0:36:51 - Catherine
Yes, I was the guinea pig but, with that said, it was successful and you probably now feel a sense of security to do that with your growing business. And as a client, I kind of feel that was beneficial because I like Davina's style, I like Temple's style, but I kind of like both of you combined. So that kind of you know, just as a feedback, is it? That's what I got from that. So good, you're growing your business, you have a team, there's just one, temple- You've got to get. 

Maybe you've got to clone the temples, not literally, but you need. You need to have a little temple team. 

0:37:38 - Temple
I do. I do Absolutely. It's been a vision for a while. I do feel it happening. You know that there's more advocates, more people spouses and partners that know how to show up for other people going through the same challenges. You know, I know that this needs to happen for bipolar awareness to become something that we can face instead of freeze. 

And Catherine, we just had an appointment yesterday, right, and she goes, temple, moves fast, Temple, you move fast, and it is like bipolar bootcamp, because you're in the heart healers, and then you're doing one-on-ones with me and you're doing Marco poles every day and there's a lot of energy that happens really fast and it's it's by design, because bipolar energy is so powerful, right, and it moves so fast, like they can literally disappear on you in an instant. You're like what the hell just happened? Or they get, you know, turn on a dime and there's a manic episode or a psychotic break or a hospital visit. Like you have to be ready to hold space for something that could turn on you and you'd be able to react appropriately. Right, stop, drop and roll. We just taught Catherine that yesterday. Stop it, drop it, roll out and get ready to handle what comes along with bipolar, which is the mental health system, which is a brain illness, which is a long list of mood symptoms that we have to learn to not take personal. So, yeah, catherine, thank you for saying that. No, not only am I ready to see us all expand, I want a team. But the other part of that was this is this is my time to do this with my mom too. And oh no, you said that my husband got to come help me. Yeah, and that is good. That is good, catherine. 

I'll tell you everybody right now that Chris is really stepping up because and I'm putting the squeeze on him how do your bipolar loved ones feel when you're falling apart? How well do they do? Right, you don't need to even need to answer that. I already know that you're real squeamish, right? My husband too. Very difficult time when I'm crying or I'm getting pissed, I'm falling apart. I'm like no, don't like this. And he's standing still for it, holding space for me, asking what can I do, or he already is saying this is what I'm going to do. 

It's definitely a challenge, catherine. I'm like where are you? I'm trying to call you from upstairs and you're outside and I can't find you. There's still bipolar stuff happening, but his will to show up for me is bypassing bipolar. It's really mind blowing, but he's fighting for it. He knows that we need to be a family right now. He knows my mom needs us and he said this is my new full-time job, is just being here for you and mom, and I thought that was the sweetest thing. All right, how's everybody feeling about this untoxic positivity? Uh, hi, kimberly, are you up on the stage to say hello? 

0:41:00 - Kimberly
I? Um, it's just kind of funny because when you said toxic positivity and everything in the beginning, I was just like, oh this, but the way you presented it's like yeah, yeah, no, you're, you're more speaking my language and not the language of here's a quote that says good vibes, only it's more the here is the reality of the situation, but there is something you can do moving forward about it. That's gonna make it okay, and I just really appreciate that because I've been, obviously, as you know from last week, doing a lot of soul searching and stuff. 

0:41:38 - Temple
How are you? 

0:41:38 - Kimberly
feeling. I mean, honestly, I'm physically exhausted, but that's more probably because I'm in the middle of a giant move and also in the middle of trying to get diagnosed, potentially, with a chronic physical illness. So that's, I mean I've been exhausted my entire adult life. 

0:41:58 - Temple
So so did your spouse. Were you guys married? I forgot, I'm sorry yeah, we're married. 

0:42:05 - Kimberly
Um, he's still fully in the mania. I did get the restraining order served that I needed to to push through towards services in the state of Oregon, so that's at least a positive there. But I mean his family fully believes that he is actually aware of his actions right now and is not fully manic. 

0:42:30 - Temple
I just want to say something to you, of course, good, yeah, good. You know what? I'm glad you have some time to yourself, because what you just told me is that you're exhausted, you're sick, you're up to your eyeballs and you need some time to regroup. 

0:42:52 - Kimberly
This is pushing me forward, because he and I had been talking about me making a career change. Anyways, it's given me the clarity to see that I think he's been having hypomanic episodes since after his mom died in 2015, and it's really giving me the clarity to when the mania comes crashing down. I am going to be a motherfucking expert at navigating the system. 

0:43:18 - Temple
Yes, ma'am please, please, please. Become a motherfucking expert of helping the mental health system to get woke and then you'll be on temple's team as one of our consultants. 

0:43:30 - Kimberly
Okay, I would love that. 

0:43:35 -Temple
Well, we need you take all the time you need to figure this out, because bipolar will is like a rubber band it just snaps right back. It'll snap right back. You'll be like well, thank you for the update and I'm glad you checked in again. Keep us yeah. Well, thank you for the update and I'm glad you checked in again. Keep us updated, okay. 

0:43:57 - Bridget
Will do, thank you. 

0:43:59 - Temple
We're going to start wrapping it up here. Is there anybody else that wanted to tell me something, before I start wrapping it up, about un-toxic positivity? Do y'all feel that we can go into an aerial view, maybe a little easier next time, while we're looking through the pinhole view of what's happening? It's hard, I'm not saying it's easy. I'm not saying it's easy. I'm just saying it's a technique, it's a tactic we can use. I'm doing it right now. 

I had to say to myself I can't change it. If I can't change it, I can't control it, then I better embrace it, because I've already done all the fighting. I fight God all the time. Change it, change it, change it. And if it doesn't change, then that means it's not in my best good. Yet All things are working for my good. It is intentional in so many ways. All things are working for my good. Say it to yourself. See, if you can say it a few times until it doesn't make you cringe, if you can say it a few times until it doesn't make you cringe, okay, all right. 

I want to read something to you from one of my favorite authors, neil Donald Walsh. He wrote several books called Conversations with God, and this book is called Happier Than God, and I just happened to open it to this page right before, right before we got on the call. So tell me, things aren't intentional. This says, staying positive when surrounded by, even when submerged in what others might call negativity, is easier than you think. The trick is to bring an end to judgment, to judge not by appearances. Isn't that just what we were just saying? I'm going to keep going. When you bring an end to judgment, you bring an end to the entire way of living. This is no small thing. This is a life-changing shift in attitude and behavior. This is a miracle. But shift in attitude and behavior? This is a miracle. But how does one perform this miracle? That is the question to which everyone wants an answer. Please, then, pay very close attention to what I'm about to tell you. 

The way to move out of judgment is to move into gratitude. Did anybody see that coming, rich aunt? Is to move into gratitude. Did anybody see that coming? This is such an important collary that it should be plastered all over your house and everywhere in your world on your bathroom mirror, on your refrigerator door, on your car rearview mirror, above your computer screen. You might even tattoo it on your wrist, or at least engrave it on your bracelet that you wear it, to say the way to move out of judgment is to move into gratitude. 

This means remaining grateful for every outcome, every outcome. This is about saying thank you. Thank you, god, for even those things that you are sure you did not consciously choose and that you are very clear you do not want it. Somebody once said happiness is not getting what you want, it is wanting what you get, and that somebody was profoundly right. He states Gratitude is the miracle cure for every moment of dis-ease. It's the fastest way to dissolve anxiety, to heal disappointment, to replace negativity with positivity, and it's the shortest route from a dead end path to the path. It is the connecting energy to source. Try it sometime. 

The next time you're confronted with an undesired outcome, result or experience, just stop, stop right in the middle of what's going on. Just close your eyes for the smallest moment and say inside your head thank you. Take one deep breath and say it again Thank you. Thank you for this gift and the treasure that it holds for me. Be assured that it does hold a treasure. Even if you're not seeing it right now, life will prove to you if you give it a chance. Ah, and so it is. 

Wow. Thank you so much for coming today, everybody. Thank you so much for coming today, everybody. I'm so glad that I have this space. I'm so glad that I have this space every single week to help find my source again and bring me back to center, and that all of you show up and bring your energy. I'm so grateful for all of you. I love you and that's genuine. I'm so thankful that everything that's happening in all of our lives has been working for our good, and I really want to hear about it as we go forward, about the miracles that you find every day, every week, even if it's a tiny, tiny, tiny thing. So, everybody, with me in your mind, wherever you're at, I just want you to say thank you.