The Spiritual Parent: Mindful Tools for Raising Spiritual and Conscious Kids

Healing Ancestral Patterns Through Conscious Parenting with Kanika Vasudeva

• Carrie Lingenfelter, CCC-SLP and Kanika Vasudeva • Season 1 • Episode 83

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What if your child's greatest challenges are actually their most profound spiritual gifts? 

Every parent has felt that moment of worry when comparing their child to others or receiving a discouraging evaluation from a teacher or therapist. We're conditioned to focus on what our children lack rather than the extraordinary qualities they bring. But what if there's a profound spiritual purpose behind your child's unique traits and challenges?

Akashic Records reader and energy coach Kanika Vasudeva transforms our understanding of neurodiversity and sensitivity in children by revealing the deeper spiritual framework at play. Each child arrives precisely as they're meant to be—not randomly, but deliberately chosen to heal ancestral patterns and bring specific gifts to their lineage. Those very qualities that might be labeled as deficits in conventional settings often mask extraordinary spiritual connections and capabilities.

"These kids are hitting the ground running," Kanika explains, revealing how souls actually compete for bodies that will experience challenges because they offer accelerated spiritual growth. A child who struggles with traditional academics may be developing profound empathy; a child with speech delays might be preparing to become an extraordinary communicator who speaks deeply to people's hearts.

For overwhelmed parents, Kanika offers practical energy management techniques, from simple one-minute breathing breaks to playful visualization exercises you can teach your children. These grounding practices help sensitive kids discharge overwhelming energy much like electrical appliances use earthing wires to release excess charge.

Perhaps most healing is the invitation to shift your questions from "What's wrong with my child?" to "What is my child bringing for me?" and "What part of myself needs healing when I focus on my child's perceived deficiencies?" As we break free from society's rigid expectations, we create space for both ourselves and our children to embody authenticity and purpose.

Connect with Kanika Vasudeva:
*Website: https://artoflifecenter.com/
*Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kanikaenergycoach/
*YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@kanikaenergycoach

*Download my free 3-part audio series: Soul Contracts in Parent

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**Please remember that the information shared on this podcast is educational in nature and does not constitute licensed mental health advice. If you need such advice, you should speak with a licensed professional about your unique situation. Thanks so much happy listeners.

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Kanika Vasudeva:

and they knew very well what we're going to be, how we are going to be, what we're going to be supposedly lacking in or what things we'll have. But they wanted to bring that because they wanted the lineage to understand. So each of us is chosen to heal our lineages like it's really every single one of us, including our kids. Kids is a blessing. So when we see them as anything less, we are not seeing the full picture. If they're seeing the odd one out, we needed that odd one out, and what you need to ask instead is what is my child bringing for me? Why do I have this?

Kanika Vasudeva:

And especially wherever you feel like really the big lack, like you feel like, oh, my child's not, you know, getting this. My child's perhaps not able to do academics really well, or my child's not able to sit down really well, I want you to start thinking what part of you really wants that as in. Is it your ego part? Do you want to be like the cool parent who has got the perfect child? What part is it that's wanting that Like? Heal that within yourself.

Carrie Lingenfelter:

Hi Conscious Parents. It's Keri here and I am here with a little info about raising our mindful kids. I've got some tips and tricks about breaking free of the box and becoming who you are and teaching your kids how to do that along the way, Join us Hi there and welcome back, you guys. I have an amazing guest here today, Kanika Vasudeva, and she is an Akasic Records reader and an energy coach and a parent as well. I'm so excited to connect with you, Kanika. Thank you so much for being here today.

Kanika Vasudeva:

Thanks a lot. I am so glad to be here.

Carrie Lingenfelter:

Yes, and I'm so excited to finally hit record because you and I were having such a wonderful chat this morning. So this morning for me, but I know it's later for you, and so actually can we jump right in. I would love to ask you, I think, as a parent and I'm switching gears I'm going to ask you how best do we regulate our own energy as a parent? I feel like my husband would love this question. He's, he's very, he works really hard at work and has a very intense job, and so then coming home and if we're having intense energy in our house, it's a lot. So what would you say for these?

Kanika Vasudeva:

parents. I love your question, first of all because I think, as parents, a lot of us do pull on multiple hats. You know, we have our work going on, we might have other stresses going on related to family life, there might be something else happening with our friends, with our family, and then we've got our kids and it's almost like another full-time job having your kids, because you want to be present for them, you want to have the energy for them. But there's also you in the background who's getting sometimes just overwhelmed, who's actually sometimes getting a lot overworked. Especially when your kids are asking you for attention and you've given a full day or you've had a tough thing, it's very hard. So well, I think, first of all, just recognizing that that is amazing by itself, like knowing that you've got to look after your energy and typically when I am like that, I'll take a minute or I'll take, you know, just just a few little breaths, if I can, if just to collect myself before I can step into that moment. So even just a one minute. Or if you're doing a pickup drop off, just taking two minutes listening to something on the car, that just helps you relax, that is really good If it's really, really stressful. Even just going to the toilet, taking a little break and just taking that one minute just to sit down, just to breathe, like breathe, take the breath in, really let it come into you and then exhale out. Imagine the stress is coming out. If that's all you can do, that's still good enough. It's okay.

Kanika Vasudeva:

Now there are times like with my son as well, and perhaps for other kids as well they might feel like well, you've just come in and you're not listening to us. You know you're not present for us. Like you still want this moment and I have just met you and I want to tell you all my troubles or all my things you know. And what I've learned to say and tell my kids and I hope other parents can do as well is just tell them that hey, you know I'm overwhelmed right now and I need to calm myself down. There's nothing that you have done wrong. I love you, but I just need to really calm myself now and just give me one minute. I'll be back, but giving them a time frame, like one minute minutes, I just need to be quiet for one minute and then usually, even if they don't understand it like they start understanding in some time. But just setting that little boundary and taking that little moment for yourself, that can be a big, big shift, I find.

Carrie Lingenfelter:

Yeah, I love that example. I think when we're telling our kids how we're monitoring our own energy or taking our own breaks for ourselves, that's such a good example for our kids. How do we teach, how do we help our gifted and sensitive kids protect their own energy and navigate overwhelm in their lives? They overwhelm in their lives.

Kanika Vasudeva:

Yeah. So I think that's the first step, where that's we do it, like they notice that we are doing this. Then I usually like to walk the kids with a little bit meditation as well, like usually if we are raising such kids. We have got lots of tools from other therapists, their other techniques that we've learned ourselves. My favorite one is grounding, where I really teach my son also to ground, which is just imagining that where you're sitting, you just imagine that your legs get longer and longer and they go right into the center of the earth and you can make it funny because you know you can make it interesting for them. It doesn't have to be serious. So I just say oh well, you've got a monkey tail. There's a monkey tail and that goes from your back. It's going all the way to the center of the earth and now I'm imagining these colors flowing down. Just play, play with their imagination, whatever works with them, but teach them how to let go of stress. So sometimes it could be letting colors flow through them. It could be. Well, you've got lots of stones, you know, let's throw this person away. This person said something, let's just throw that into the ground. We don't like that. So just using imagery that they like and helping them throw that stuff away, because you're giving them agency. Well, we don't like this. Whatever that heaviness is, um, let's say wherever they felt that they couldn't do something, sometimes even the stress of that. Well, it's so difficult. Why don't we take all the difficulty and just throw it away and, um, so that's how you're helping them ground. Now, grounding is a beautiful technique, you know. Yes, it's a meditation technique, but the science behind grounding is that it's like a conductor that really helps us, an electric conductor that really helps us release our negative charges. An electric conductor that really helps us release our negative charges. You know, all the electrical appliances that we have in our houses, like a toaster, like an iron, even like the fridge, like all the electrical appliances, they have an earthing wire. The reason they have the earthing wire is because that is meant to connect to the earth if there's any fault. So the excess negative charge goes into the earth. So when you're teaching a child, or when we are doing this ourselves, and when we are grounding, we are walking ungrounded. Really, we're walking like with no discharge for our negative feelings, like whatever heaviness we feel over. That's all there, right? So when we ground, when we start teaching them that we help them with this. And so once you help them ground, a lot of the times I find that that starts shifting, like the body starts easing into it.

Kanika Vasudeva:

Work with your child in terms of what really works for them, right, your child might be very sensory so you can tell them ah, you know. So now your shoulders are dropping or it feels soft, it feels like whatever they are used to. Bring those senses into them. If they like smells. Well, this is how it feels like. Well, let's see, you can imagine things that they would see. This is how it feels like. But bring those senses to them that they would see. This is how it feels like, but bring those senses to them whatever they would like.

Kanika Vasudeva:

If they're very much into, let's say, unicorns, you can bring those unicorns in, because once we've discharged, we want to fill the space and we want to fill it with something that they would find interesting. So I always connect them to the sun. We always imagine the sunlight pouring with gold sparkles coming in, and you can bring in that. Well, you know, what do we want the sun to bring for us? Oh, let's bring us some adventure. You know we would like to play with cars, like my son loves cars, loves anything but speed, and so on.

Kanika Vasudeva:

But bring that imagery in. If it's nighttime, you could tell them well, now there's some unicorn coming in or there's fairies who want to come and who want to sleep with you. What would you like to dream about? But do it per the day, do it per what your child really likes. But bring these two elements, bring the earth, bring the sun and just let them do the work for you. Bring imagery and bring story into it, so that they're meditating without even knowing it. But it will really help them relax because you have given them a space to ground, let go of the heaviness that they're feeling, and then you're bringing in, filling in with the vibration that they would like to have.

Carrie Lingenfelter:

Yes, we love to do that every night at bedtime. It's great, I love that and I love the way that you're describing grounding. I think is wonderful to define it in that way and we can do that for our kids. I love what you're saying. We can bring it to their the children's level, so it's wonderful.

Kanika Vasudeva:

Okay, not making making it complicated, like just working with them. In fact, I think this is what we can learn as parents. Often we are more serious kids have a lot more fun and play to them yes, yes, bringing it into their world and whatever they're into.

Carrie Lingenfelter:

My son was into orcas for a long time, so I would do meditations with orcas, like, like you're saying, you're bringing in whatever spirit animal they're drawn to at the time, whatever's in their universe right now that they're connected to, I love that. Okay, so, as I'm thinking about energy in my house, I've been talking about this a lot with my family, so it's really interesting. You and I were actually speaking about names before I hit record today and we were talking about how it's interesting because our parents are choosing our names for us, right? And it was interesting because when I was pregnant, I was telling you, when I was pregnant with my kids, I went to a psychic or a medium and I asked do my kids like these names? And it was really interesting because they were like, yes, they love this name and this is a name that they probably won't ever change to like a more formal version, cause I have little nicknames for my kids while they're little and they said my son will probably keep his nickname his whole time. Well, that's really cool, but I am not sure my name has a meaning. That's connected to my father's side of the family and I never really took to that connection.

Carrie Lingenfelter:

So when we give a name, it's interesting and I was very thoughtful when I named my daughter. She has the same middle name as me and I thought is it okay to do this? Because then I'm bringing in pieces of myself to her, but I want her to be her own. What are your thoughts on names? And then also like general generational emotional patterns that can pass down to or how we can work on those? That's two separate questions, but you can choose where you want to start no, no, I love that.

Kanika Vasudeva:

I love that. I think it's a beautiful thing and, like we were talking about that as well, I have a moon meditation class that I did some time ago and that one was on owning your name, and all the participants in my class none of them really liked their name fully Wow, I believe that a lot of us on this planet, too, sort of have our names, but there's something that we don't like about it and that could be different things. It may or may not even be the surname. Usually, even as a first name like, if I give my example right my name is Kanika. It comes from the Hindi word kanak.

Kanika Vasudeva:

Kanak is a small wheat grain, like one grain of wheat in Hindi, and that wheat grain. That name was given because wheat is like the staple diet in North India and that's like the gold, so to speak, because when you have wheat you have enough to feed and so on, and so it was that small grain that I was named after. So my name literally is a small part of something big, and I hated that you're the tiny part that's hard, that's hard to take in when you're a kid.

Kanika Vasudeva:

Yeah, you want to expand the tiny part of something big, and I'm like what the what does that mean? Right, like you know like, give me a name.

Carrie Lingenfelter:

It just means so small when you're wanting to expand, right. So many children are wanting to expand into their own and grow. Yeah yeah.

Kanika Vasudeva:

So when I looked at my name and it's a common name, by the way like nothing against, you know my parents who named me I don't think that they were thinking like that Very opposite, but this is what I was taking away, and I did not like feeling small at all. As I've grown up, though, I've started understanding that the name also means I'm a small part of something big, means I'm creating something big. It means that, yes, it starts with a very small, humble beginning, but there are big shifts happening, and I love that, because the work that I'm doing I really want to expand out more and more, touch as many people as I can. So I'm so happy to be a ripple, to cause that ripple effect, like just that little small stone that causes those ripples. I just love that now. But it's taken me time to grow into it, and what's really shifted in between is, I guess, understanding. Um, also, I suppose you know when I say ego, it was more how I wanted to feel. How should I explain that? How I wanted to feel like I am important, and it's taken understanding my importance with a lot more fullness. It's not that I am not important, but it is that we all have this vast consciousness around us and we're all little threads connecting into that same thing. You know that piece of oneness. So we are all like a little part of that. And one analogy that I love there is that if I am the human and I just imagine myself and I imagine myself on this big, massive earth, so I'm like just really tiny in comparison with the earth. If I extrapolate that and start doing that for the solar system, for the universe, like I'm really really tiny, it's okay. But it's taken time to understand that perspective.

Kanika Vasudeva:

I do think that whoever names us names us in some sense because there is something that they've tuned into, there's some purpose, there's some bigger thing that they're bringing on there. What we do need to do is we just need to get okay, first of all, with that name, or even if you're wanting to rename ourselves at some point in time, we need to think, like you know, I guess you were very smart. You looked at your kids and you asked their spirits what is the name you want to have? And then choose something of your liking, like otherwise, just changing a name is not changing things for you, the people who go and add some letters to it or change the name, but you need to like it. You need to know the essence and whatever that is and do that um. So that's one thing that if you want to change your name, by all means okay, but but get happy, accept your new name first, really resonate with that energy, know what you're going for and then do that. You'll find it a lot easier.

Kanika Vasudeva:

There's also karma that we can carry from our lineages. Whatever side we get that from, I usually find that every soul comes in from you. Know, soul wise. They're either coming in from their dad's side or from their mom's side, in terms of the ancient um. Well, both mom and dad. So when we're all born, we're taking earth energy, we're taking energy as a soul to incarnate, we take for the body energy. We're also taking a part of our mom or a part of our dad, both. But there's usually one side that's going to be stronger, this one side which says well, you know you should be born here because we want to have the shift in our um line, so to speak. This is what you want to bring in. So they're, they're really rooting, they want us there. Both of these lines will usually have one leader, one senior person, so to speak, who's handling, sort of like the torchbearer, you know, carrying that part. So we carry that, and usually the souls will come from one side, which is why it doesn't matter how you are physically close to one parent or so on.

Kanika Vasudeva:

But you would find that when you are dreaming, like there's one part of the family which sort of comes more in your dreams again and again that could be with your name as well that there's one place that you're bringing that from, especially if you have that, then there is those generational patterns that you also need to work with you. Um, I've had these two, uh, two sides. Like I know, sometimes people just hate their ancestors. They're like, you know, they're just giving me, like my family had to go through, let's say, some wars, or they have a lot of survival stuff in them. I guess a lot of our families would have those survival things, because that's how humans have evolved to this stage, right, and there's a viewpoint where people are like, well, I don't want to have, like I just want to be as away from my ancestors as possible so that they cannot come into my energy at all.

Kanika Vasudeva:

But what I really find is that, well, you're trying to sort of push away part of yourself. When you're trying to really not just push them away and we've also got energy from them, we really come from them. You're almost, um, like this is how you were born, this is how you come. I often find, on the other hand, like when you start working with that, you start working with those scars, you start healing that there's a lot of the ancestral gifts, blessings, that start coming through and once you become conscious, it's not super hard to clean the ancestral bits that that made you. But once you've cleaned that, there's just so much power boost that you get from that because you tap into a lot more. Um, you tap into the gifts, you tap into the healing. You've also brought them forward, so you get their blessings as well okay, wow, that's interesting to think about the blessings too.

Carrie Lingenfelter:

Yeah, because I think we always talk about the trauma piece, but what are the gifts or the blessings that come with it too?

Kanika Vasudeva:

so that's interesting because you know we have our own blessings, like as as a soul, with the life that we've incarnated. There might be lies where you've done some similar work before you've been a priestess, or you've had some spiritual gifts, or you've led big places and so on. But imagine if you could also tap into the ancestral gifts that you had. Then life becomes a lot easier. It's always good to have this big team with you. The bigger the better. Right, so you could fight them and you could go.

Kanika Vasudeva:

Okay, I don't want to see them at all, but hang on, they've also helped you come into the world. So if you could just do that little work because often for them they're just waiting that there's certain things that they wanted to learn and that's why they've got you, because they wanted you to be here so that they could see an example. They actually want to support you, but they're just feeling hurt somewhere. They just need that hurt to be tended to. Once you can do that, then you can start tapping into their gifts as well. Like some of your ancestors might be very good with money, some of your ancestors might have very ancient plant wisdom that you will suddenly start unlocking. Some of them might be very good with animals, you know, and you'll start feeling like those downloads start coming into you just because you've healed that part and now you have access to that pool of knowledge.

Carrie Lingenfelter:

Wow, that's beautiful. I love that. I'm thinking in my minds, as we're talking, about the idea of them bringing in the spirit into this life. What are your thoughts on the kids being born today that are coming either, so connected? Sometimes they have labels. In the US we like to label them a lot with, you know, neurodiverse labels. What are your thoughts on this?

Kanika Vasudeva:

that's going on, yeah yeah, thanks for asking the question as well, because I think it would really help a lot of the parents too as well, because I think it would really help a lot of the parents to parents of sensitive kids, parents of kids with any sort of special needs. Um, so, you know, in our lives on on earth, we all will gather karma and karma. So before I go into this question, I really need to talk about karma. So karma and that explanation might be a little bit different to what you've been taught before, what you've learned before, so just bear with me while I'm sharing this. So karma to me is a lot around learning. It's not around, like you, tit for tat. It's not like one person murdered someone in one lifetime, so then this lifetime they should get murdered. Because if that was the case, if this, if just absolute, that equality was the case, then you know the murdering would never stop. Because one person's murdered, then you know they, then someone else has to murder them and life on earth would not evolve, right? So in my opinion, karma is more this concept, so that we all understand we all evolve as human beings. Um, the other thing we would hear is oh, earth is on the 3d dimension. Right now we want to go to 5d, which is more harmonious, which is more connected. So we have this concept of karma.

Kanika Vasudeva:

Now, um, how does karma really happen? Like, when do I get the bad points? When do I get the right points? For the soul, there's nothing is good or bad, but again, I still need to learn. Let's say, I've taken something from someone, I've snatched a lot of money from someone. I need to be, you know, learning how to not do that and how to have more harmony. I need to see the effects of it, right. So it's all based on when was I able to make those decisions? When was I able to make those decisions? When was I able to understand that this is what I'm doing? And then this is the output of that. So, so to say, like you know, like, let's say, if a kid is two years old and the two year old is, like you know, maybe sometimes even pulling their mom's hair or so on, you know, would you give that child karma for that? Like you know their mom's hair, or so on, you know, would you give that child karma for that? Like you know, that child doesn't know, like it's just a normal, they're just growing up right.

Kanika Vasudeva:

So the karmic points, or how it works, is in the sense of, well, when you understanding what is really happening and then how are you doing things correct? So now, if we look at these kids and we look at, well, what's happening for them, if you, it's actually a far more easier experience for the soul because there are these lives where they can come in, you know, a life where they can actually understand for a lot more, they can do things for a lot more, but it's more or less. They don't get the bad karma points because they're taking longer to understand, because they don't have that agency. The truth is that there is a lot of competition for bodies, for souls, to incarnate on earth. There's a lot of competition. There's higher competition for bodies that are going to be handicapped or so-called special and so on, because when the souls incarnate in those, just because a anyways, because life is going to be hard, you're going to work out a lot of karma. You're going to learn a lot of things too. You're not karmically, you're not going to have as many bad points anyway, whereas you get to clean a lot of the karma.

Kanika Vasudeva:

So a lot of times when souls are incarnating in this. They tend to be the karmic souls, like there is a lot that they want to work through and then there's a lot that they're carrying with them, and typically their caregivers will also have some sort of thing to learn from them. But it's not like, hey, everything is just karmic and everything is like you know, now you're just doomed because this is this life. It's not that you're learning in the process as well.

Kanika Vasudeva:

There's a lot that these kids, special kids, are teaching us. Sometimes we need to slow down, we need to have the patience we need. They teach us so much unconditional love. There's so much tapped into consciousness. They're actually teaching us all of those things like just being connected to the consciousness. I guess a lot of us become the more conscious parents, awakened parents because of our kids, because they force us to see that. Oh yeah, they force us to see that, whereas otherwise we could have continued the same rat race. So it's like a win-win on both sides and often, as we're working out all of that, as we are learning, you know, the kids shape up as well. The parents. Their lives have been changed, but it's a much faster growth in terms of evolution.

Carrie Lingenfelter:

Yeah, wow, yeah. That's a lot to think about and I don't know when you're raising these kids. I don't know how you do it without becoming conscious, because I feel like the more if you turn away from the conscious pieces, if you turn away and you try to continue down that same path, the louder and more resistant the kids become.

Kanika Vasudeva:

Oh yeah.

Kanika Vasudeva:

From my experience that too, and I think just the whole system is. So you know, like it puts you down so much. Like when you have kids like that, whatever you go to the therapist, you go to the school you go to, so on, like you just never get good news. It's just one thing after the other, after the other, the other, and you're like, okay, I get it, but like you know, somebody tell me like something's better here, something's going to be okay, that I'm doing fine. So it's almost like we hit into that wall and it's just such a different journey. I guess even a lot parent groups, everybody has their own journey with their kid and often there's still a sense of isolation, because what you're experiencing with your child in your family dynamic, that can be very different to what other parents are feeling, maybe a little bit similar, but it can be a lot more different. So we have to tune in to other things, we have to ask for help. But I think that is the beautiful thing, that is the beauty. These kids are the ones as they're so special because they're going to show us so much light.

Kanika Vasudeva:

I often think of other dyslexic kids or other special kids in the world. You know, um, like steve jobs. Thank god he was dyslexic. Thank God for that, because if he wasn't, our world would be so different. And yet, when he was growing up, I'm sure his parents were told all the time that there was a problem with him and he doesn't know how to write and how that is so problematic, and so on. You look at the world's geniuses and look at how, when they were growing up, they were somehow out of character. But it's out of character because they don't fit into the mold that we understand on earth. It's a very simple 3d plane in general. You know we have a few labels like this is normal. You're outside it. We don't really understand what to do with you. So we will give you a special label and we will say that you know there's something lacking with you, because I cannot understand what you've got to offer really you know it's.

Carrie Lingenfelter:

It's so beautiful to have these messages for these parents because, like you said, when we go to the therapist and I I used to be a speech therapist I used to see how we would list off the pain points for parents here's where they're lacking, here's where they should be, here's where they're not. Here's the other problem. Let me list 85 problems. And then the parent walks out with that piece of paper listing 85 problems about their precious, perfect born child that you know, you're so connected to. And it's beautiful that we're now seeing these spiritual connections and having that to tune into as parents, because it gives us that hope that we need and it gives us that connection with ourselves and that connection with our kids that we need in raising these kids right now.

Kanika Vasudeva:

Yeah, and here's this message that I've got to give to all the parents here that if you've got these kids, you know the world labels it, let's say, as a weakness or labels it in whatever form it wants to, because it does not understand. If the whole world was made of the same people, we would not have anyone looking at things differently like these, the very points that right now are weaknesses, they're going to be blessings in some sense. These kids come to work off something really special and the other way to think of it is that they hit the ground running, like they come in charged with well, this is what I've got to do. This is what I've got to learn. You know, I've got to learn empathy. I want to understand lack myself, I want to lack certain things so that I can really understand empathy, that I can really get along and understand what is someone else's pain, like. Think of the big hearts that these kids have. Think of the resilience these kids have because they've got to do a couple of things again and again, like compared to other kids who can probably go out, play, like, do the normal things, and they don't have to struggle as much. These kids grow up having a lot of challenges and that makes them very resilient, that makes them far more sensitive beyond what words or teachers could teach or books could teach. But they just end up with a lot more depth and we need that. We need that to shift the world into a space where there's a lot more unity, where there's a lot more harmony. Also, these kids are tremendously gifted in the sense that they are more tuned into their consciousness. I guess, as parents, you know, if we could probably not worry about it too much and we could just trust, we could trust in their fullness more, then we'll start seeing that they're actually more amazing.

Kanika Vasudeva:

I used to get really, really worried with my son a lot of times because I would get, like you know, this is lacking, this is lacking, like you said, lists and so on. Right, I would get a lot of that and for a while, every time I would get that, I would look at my so-called perfect child and suddenly he would seem very imperfect because I would notice, I would look through the same labels and go, yep, that is not like other kids. No, that's not like other kids. You know, that is not like other kids. No, that's not like other kids, you know, and you do that. And then what I have actually done in that moment is that the world was seeing him through his lack and I'm also seeing him through his lack, and so after a while I said you know what, I'm not doing this anymore.

Carrie Lingenfelter:

Put it away. Yes, put it away, put it in a drawer.

Kanika Vasudeva:

Yeah, yeah, like I'm not going to do that torture for him. I'm not going to do that torture for him because there's brilliance that he brings and I'm just going to notice the brilliance instead. But it's different once you start noticing the brilliance it's really different.

Kanika Vasudeva:

Um, because you start seeing that, the amazing senses they have, you start seeing. If I go back to our birth story and if I go back to you know we all came from our mother's line or our father's line, like the line that really wanted us to grow and evolve and develop. We were chosen. Every single one of us was chosen both sides. As we chose our parents, we chose the body where we will come, in the same way that we were also chosen on the other side, like our lineages chose us as well, and they knew very well what we're going to be, how we are going to be, what we're going to be supposedly lacking in or what things we'll have. But they wanted to bring that because they wanted the lineage to understand. So each of us is chosen to heal our lineages, like it's really every single one of us, including our kids, is a blessing. So when we see them as anything less we are, they're not seeing the full picture. If they're seeing the odd one out, we needed that odd one out, and what you need to to ask instead is what is my child bringing for me? What? Why did I? Why do I have this? And especially wherever you feel like really the big lack, like you feel like, oh, my child's not, you know, getting this, my child's perhaps not able to do academics really well, or my child's not able to sit down really well. I want you to start thinking what part of you really wants that as in. Is it your ego part? Do you want to be like the cool parent who has got the perfect child? What part is it that's wanting that like? Heal that within yourself. Yes, why are you wanting that? You know, like, really understand that.

Kanika Vasudeva:

Um, is there some part of you that wants to feel you know, seen, understood because you fit in with everyone? Are you fighting that? What is it? Accept that bit. You'll already start seeing the things shift. It's not even your child. The first step is you. You'll start feeling the shift when you start healing yourself. Then look at your child and then go okay, why? And a lot of our, these parents, would be very intuitive as well. So start tuning into why is your child this way? Why is he or she? Why do they have this challenge from a learning perspective? You know, as a soul, what is it that they want to learn? And then understand that a little bit more.

Kanika Vasudeva:

Once you understand that it'll give you a lot more peace, because for my son, for example, I understood that he just wanted to experience good amount of lack so that he could be a lot more empathetic. He wants funny enough like he had a speech delay and whenever I look at him he's always giving a big speech like to a big audience, which you know, if I was to look at it I would go like my bet would not be on that side ever. Yeah, just because of how I'm seeing him grow up in the physical world. Right, but he wants to do that. He really wants to touch as many people as he can, but in a very sensitive way, like understanding everyone and really speaking to their hearts. And to be able to do that he needs to understand the lack, he needs to feel that himself so that he's really able to serve his purpose as best as he can. Once you start doing that, once you get that picture, a lot of the stress, worry that we can carry as parents that gets dissolved.

Carrie Lingenfelter:

It's so spot on. Thank you so much for sharing the story of what you're seeing and visualizing for your son. I think it's so magical to think about the shift that he is possibly going through and going to evolve into in this life. And you know, it's interesting what you were talking about reflecting back on ourselves as parents. My husband and I recently were reflecting. Our son is turning 10 and we feel like he has this piece of trying to be perfect to fit in, because he's very sensitive and very aware of everybody else's energy and everybody else's ideas of him.

Carrie Lingenfelter:

And we were my husband and I noticed we were watching a video of when our son and we were watching with both of our kids we like to watch these little year-long movies that we call them from different eras and we were watching when he was little and he was so fun and vibratious and just being his own spirit when he was four years old and my daughter said, buddy, like why? How come you don't act like that, like you're? You don't live like that as much now? You were so much fun before, you cared about being cool. And it was really interesting because my husband and I excuse me we were wondering why did he do that? Why did he shift? Why did he try to be like everybody else and not be himself when, at the same exact weekend, the same exact time, my husband and I are also going through our own shifts of not caring what people around us think about our family, about our parenting, about our spirituality, about being who we truly are? So it's so interesting to watch my husband and I breaking free of society's box of expectations, of neurotypical box of expectations of how we're supposed to work in a family or in society.

Carrie Lingenfelter:

So we're watching this shift in ourselves and then we're also encouraging our son to be himself and talking about true friendship, what true friendship looks like, and accepting people for who they are.

Kanika Vasudeva:

I'm so glad and so thankful that you shared this because this will resonate with a lot of parents and particularly when we are on this journey spiritual journey or awakening journey we'll often find that these paths mirror, because the world is a mirror. Our kids will reflect what we are going through, so a lot of what you want to teach to them actually evolve and do that yourself and talk as much as possible with your kids.

Kanika Vasudeva:

Oftentimes, I think also if we can hold space for them where they can come out and they can talk as much yeah that is the time when you know they can be really open and they can actually help us see the wounds exactly where we need to heal. But it's so spot on these kids. They're such a blessing because they come to heal us in so many ways.

Carrie Lingenfelter:

Yeah, it's so much there. They are our biggest teachers. Yeah, in so many ways so beautiful. Thank you so much, Kanika, for having this amazing spiritual parenting chat today. I really appreciate your connection today and I love the work you're doing. I love your podcast. I've been listening this week. I think you're sharing beautiful messages with parents. How can our listeners find you?

Kanika Vasudeva:

Thanks a lot, carrie. This has been absolutely amazing. We cover such good topics. It's really been fun. I can be found at Kaneka Energy Coach on Instagram, on LinkedIn and YouTube as well, so that's my favorite place. Come ask me questions and I have a freebie as well for parents who might be wondering around their parenting contracts or their karma with their kids. So that can be found at artoflifecentercom slash parent. So this is a three-part audio series and I tell the parents about their karmic contracts, about their soul contracts with their kids, and we also get to heal it as well. Each of the audio is about 10 minutes. It's not too much, but I'm getting some amazing feedback with that one.

Carrie Lingenfelter:

Oh my gosh, I can't wait to check that one out myself, and we'll include those in the show notes for everyone. I would love to share that. That's myself, and we'll include those in the show notes for everyone. I would love to share that. That's beautiful and what's the name of your podcast? Again for our listeners.

Kanika Vasudeva:

So the name of my podcast is Art of Life Podcast. I've actually got two podcasts. One of them is an Art of Life Podcast, where I have guests and where I do my own talks as well around parenting, around transformation, etc. Then there's another podcast I have which is art of life guided meditations, and there's smaller meditations that I do for parents but also for other audiences, and it's got some cool meditations, like. It's got meditations when you are really stressed out, you cannot sleep. It's got more spiritual meditations as well, like if you feel you've got a spiritual attack. It's got some meditations to heal the wounds with your mother, your father as well. So, yeah, so that's like my yeah, I think that's my special place that I would just want everyone to have access to these tools where they can release stress, they can feel better in the moment, and that's my service to the world.

Carrie Lingenfelter:

Beautiful, oh my goodness. I'm excited to share that with our listeners. I know so many parents always looking for more guided meditations and healing guided meditations. That's just two in one. Thank you so much, kanika, for sharing all of this with us.

Kanika Vasudeva:

Thank you so much, Keri. It's been amazing to be on the show.

Carrie Lingenfelter:

Well, that's a wrap. Thanks so much for tuning in. Changemakers. This is Keri, and if you haven't done a review for us five stars and a little few words about what you've enjoyed in our podcast episodes, we would really appreciate it. If you guys would like to ever message me, I would love any questions you have or any feedback. At info at heart to heart lifecom, we also have a brand new website which we're super excited to share. It's heart to heart lifecom. Thanks so much for tuning in and happy life. Happy times. Change maker families. Bye.