The Spiritual Parent: Mindful Tools for Raising Spiritual and Conscious Kids

Unconditional Love, Intuitive Kids, and Breaking the Box: A Spiritual Guide for Conscious Parents with Kara Anaya

• Carrie Lingenfelter, CCC-SLP • Season 1 • Episode 93

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Kara Anaya, Children's Advocate and Druidic Shaman, takes us on a transformative journey exploring the delicate dance between ego and echo in our psyches. She reveals how these seemingly opposing forces can be paired to create internal harmony rather than conflict. "When I go too high, echo brings me back. When I go too low, ego lifts me up," she explains, offering a practical framework for self-regulation that parents can both use and teach.

The conversation shifts to a revolutionary perspective on raising today's unique children. Kara challenges conventional thinking about neurodiversity, suggesting that nonverbal children aren't broken but are instead allocating their energy differently—often developing extraordinary telepathic abilities while verbal communication may emerge later. "They're saying we will not be boxed anymore," she observes about the new generation's refusal to conform to outdated expectations.

We explore how authenticity trumps perfection in parent-child relationships. When children express wanting to be "normal," Kara offers a compassionate approach: ask them what normal means to them, then help them navigate toward authentic self-expression. She suggests that our belief systems combined with our emotional states create our reality—children naturally mirror the energy we project, whether frustration or love.

The most empowering message emerges in Kara's passionate reminder to parents: "You are the expert." While methodologies and expert opinions flood the parenting space, no one knows your unique child better than you do. Even in our darkest moments as parents, we remain redeemable, capable of growth, and worthy of self-compassion—a message that extends to our children as well.

Ready to break free from conventional parenting boxes? Listen now to discover how unconditional love and celebrating diversity might transform your family's journey. Have questions or thoughts to share? 

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*Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kara.anaya.2025/?rdid=qPpjZchTbNSjZfIr

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**Please remember that the information shared on this podcast is educational in nature and does not constitute licensed mental health advice. If you need such advice, you should speak with a licensed professional about your unique situation. Thanks so much happy listeners.

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Kara Anaya:

believe that these energies that are coming in now are really about bringing in this type of unconditional love and and getting beyond, getting to the point that we have unity with diversity instead of duality, because we have to change it. Duality what does duality even mean? Think of the word. It means to fight to dual duality. We want unity in diversity. Diversity is good. We like that, and that's what they're bringing in and they're making us really. One of the things that we had talked about is that we're we all kind of have a certain amount of time allotted in the day. This is the box that we've created. We have time allotted within the day. We have energy allotted within the day. When our soul comes in, we kind of do the same thing. We allot our energy into the body in similar ways.

Carrie Lingenfelter:

Hi Conscious Parents. It's Keri here and I am here with a little info about raising our mindful kids. I've got some tips and tricks about breaking free of the box and becoming who you are and teaching your kids how to do that along the way, join us Hi there and welcome back. I'm so excited you guys. I have Kara Anaya of Children's Advocate, druidic Shaman, anamorphic High Priestess here today and I'm so excited to connect with you. I feel like we have parallels in our lives that we're going through, living through challenges that have taught us to connect deeper within ourselves and really find ourselves. Thanks so much for being here, kara.

Kara Anaya:

Oh, you are so welcome. I'm so glad to be here today.

Carrie Lingenfelter:

Yes, and I wanted to jump right in. You were talking about echoes and ego.

Kara Anaya:

Part of my path getting to this part, like the one within the spiral path, this journey that we're all in right, I realized that I was fighting between ego and what a lot of people call imposter syndrome. But I've renamed it to echo because it's either an echo of my own doubt within me or something that happened in the past, or an echo from somebody else saying something to me. One of the echoes I used to have all the time was from my mom. I love her to death, but she would say, if you eat that, it will make you fat. So that was a belief system I was creating, and I'm going to talk to you about creation, because this is a huge one. But we're going to finish ego and echo first. So I renamed it echo, right? So I realized I was kind of fighting between ego and echo. Ego was like telling me oh, you're amazing, wonderful and taking me too high. And echo was literally saying you need to just go die right now. You're the worst parent in the world. There's nothing that you will ever be able to do to save yourself from this one, you know.

Kara Anaya:

And when I realized I was fighting between these two kind of forces, I said, okay, we got to pair these babies up. So now, anytime I go too high, echo comes back and goes. Really, remember your friend that did that, because it doesn't even need to be my Echo, right? Remember your friend walked down that path. Or remember the last time we did that, do you want to go there? And then, when I go too low and my echo saying you might as well just end it, you're, you're no good Ego comes in and goes uh-uh, nope, uh-uh. We fought through all of these times and it reminds me of how amazing I am and I paired them up. They're just two sides to the same coin. So I paired those babies up and now I have, like this, balance within.

Carrie Lingenfelter:

I love that so much. I feel like almost I've been talking to my son about Harry Potter. He's reading Harry Potter right now and I feel like there's the two sides that Harry has within him, like he has the Voldemort kind of the evil and then he has like the pieces from his parents, like the unconditional love from his parents. I guess that's a little different, but it just makes me think of that piece.

Kara Anaya:

Yeah, well, and it's something we can take it and that's what we're doing within ourselves too, and then even smaller. You know, it's there. There's the micro and the macro of everything, and it's the beautiful part, because when we share our stories, like she shared these amazing stories with us, it helped us remember so much of ourself within. So these books and these sharings are really what we should be doing, instead of teaching and learning. As far as I'm concerned, it should be sharing and remembering, because we have the building blocks within us. We've just forgotten, we've made ourselves so small. So many people just believe that the body is all that they have, this physical vessel is all that they have, and they don't recognize the unseen, which is everything else, and it's so much bigger, it's huge. I mean, think of the feelings, the emotions, the thoughts. These are all unseen things. These are all unseen things, and when we can pair those two up together too, it gets magical. It gets Harry Potter magical, it really does.

Carrie Lingenfelter:

It does, and it's interesting. My son is so drawn to that he's like what if?

Carrie Lingenfelter:

we have that. I'm like we can have it, we do, we have it. Let's talk about it, dude. So I'm thinking you had mentioned to me earlier when somebody put something out there, like I do with the podcast, and I'm like this is what works for us. It may not be the exact thing that somebody is doing in their journey. Aiki has been a modality that has really opened everything up for me. It helped me to heal pieces of my past inner child pieces, the echoes, pieces that really would come up. Now I have this modality that helps me to connect with myself and to heal these pieces of myself, and that's what worked for me, and at first I was like that's what everybody needs, like you had mentioned.

Carrie Lingenfelter:

So, we all have our own path and our own journey through how we connect with ourselves.

Kara Anaya:

I just did a post about this today, keri. Literally I just did a post about this today. No, I'm not kidding. I'm not surprised that this energy is coming back, because I did a post about unconditional love and why I send unconditional love. Even in prayers I don't send. I hope that you feel better soon. I hope that you are healed. I have no idea what you need right now. If I put any expectations onto it, then I send you energy that is blocked and waiting for parameters to be kept that you don't even know about because I haven't expressed those to you. I've just sent you energy and it's just hovering now around you in your field. So, yes, it has to be each person's path. They're sharing and remembering, because what I'm going to remember, that will help me. You're thinking, oh, I'm going to share this story Because this is the lesson that I think they need. It could be totally something bass-ackwards and it helps me tremendously, but not for the reason that you were aware and that's it ignites something new right it ignites something within you.

Kara Anaya:

Yes, the sharing and remembering, the teaching, the whole I'm going to teach you something is. I'm going to put it into a box and if you only do it this way, it will only work this way. I don't, I don't want, I'm tired of boxes. I want to share and remember together. Yes, we, we create the boxes so that we can share together. Look what I have. It's a, it's a pretty pair of glasses. You know, here's my box, do you like it? But we don't have to be so rigid that we say, oh, it must only be done this way, because the way that this box was created can be many different ways, you know. So I, I'm loving this.

Carrie Lingenfelter:

I love.

Kara Anaya:

I would love to hear your thoughts on these kids coming in we believe that these energies that are coming in now are really about bringing in this type of unconditional love and getting to the point that we have unity with diversity instead of duality, because we have to change it. Duality what does duality even mean? Think of the word. It means to fight to dual duality. We want unity in diversity. Diversity is good. We like that and that's what they're bringing in and they're making us really.

Kara Anaya:

One of the things that we had talked about is that we're we all kind of have a certain amount of time allotted in the day. This is the box that we've created. We have time allotted within the day. We have energy allotted within the day when our soul comes in, we kind of do the same thing. We allot our energy into the body in in similar ways. So a lot of the kids that are nonverbal, that are stepping in, are opening up their telepathic abilities. See the duality. We have duality right, so they're choosing to go telepathically instead of verbal Doesn't mean that communication isn't happening, and any parent of these nonverbal kids knows it's occurring because they have stepped into it one way or another themselves one way or another.

Kara Anaya:

Either they're noticing the way that they're sitting, like with my son Evan, if he would sit next to me, even if he had his hands crossed and he had this you know attitude of whatever he was next to me. He wanted that. You know this is the child that did not like touch, did not like you know. So a lot of parameters I was dealing with. I was trying to figure out his box. It was very crazy. He was the one that was nonverbal until he was about six. I didn't hear I love you until he was seven. But then when he said I love you, I knew he meant it to the core. That boy will love me forever. You know he does not throw words like that around. He's mad at me right now, by the way, but he loves me.

Kara Anaya:

So I get it, I've been there, yeah, but so I think what they're really doing right now is establishing that, that unity in diversity, and they're bringing it in their own unique form, and each one is so, so different that we can't even try to box them. They're saying we will not be boxed anymore, we will no longer be your sheep. There are no sheep here none, and that's the energy that I'm getting from these kids. They are so unique we have to stop and look at them separately, and that's what we need to be doing with each other too, by the way. We're each sovereign, you're amazing, you're beautiful. If no one told you that today, Same to you, Kara.

Kara Anaya:

I love it.

Carrie Lingenfelter:

I think that's beautiful. Yes, sharing this unconditional love.

Kara Anaya:

That seems to be the theme right now, today again, the best way to connect with anybody is just to be authentically yourself. But we've forgotten who we even are. I took a long hot minute to even figure out what I like. Remember Ego echo, ego echo. So it was like was I choosing this because this ego aspect of you know? Whatever, because that's what society said I should do.

Carrie Lingenfelter:

Connection, I think is a piece.

Kara Anaya:

Authenticity is the best way to do it. Even if you are being not pretty and not beautiful, even if you're crying, even if you're just not okay, being authentic about it but not being being, I need you to save me, I need you to fix me, I need you to do something in order for this to be okay. Being authentic within your true rawness, even at your worst, is better any day of the week. Then, ego or echo you know, you know the way we talk to each other, the way we interact with each other. I'm constantly, every single day, going what belief system do I need to step into? Do I need to shift? Do I need to change or do I need to adapt in order for this what I want to happen to come to fruition? Okay, our belief system is, in many ways, our identity. It is the ego and the echo. So, when we have belief and then we add an emotion now think of that how often are the emotions that we're adding that are frustration? Even when we're helping our kids or each other, we're frustrated from it. So what are we gonna get back from the situation? Okay, we're gonna get frustration from the kid. They're frustrated from it. So what are we going to get back from the situation? Okay, we're going to get frustration from the kid. They're going to reflect it back. They're the best little mirrors in the world. We reflect love and light to them. They will pick it up and start reflecting it back. Okay, so the emotion that we add into it and then the action that we do. What action is it that we're doing to get the creation moving? Okay?

Kara Anaya:

So the best way to find this unity within is to give yourself a whole lot of grace. Give yourself a whole lot of gratitude and every time you have any thought that comes to you that you dislike because it'll start with dislikes, okay, those are the ones that we are most apparently aware of okay, any thought or even situation that comes to you with dislike, step into gratitude for it and step into unconditional love and step into the highest love that you can possibly see. You know I have all these other duetic amazing short, but I have the balances to all of it too, and I am constantly balancing it within me. You know choosing to be, because we're not just one person, you're not just Carrie, I'm not just Kara. You know your mom, your wife, your doctor. You know when the kids come in, we become. We become everything to everybody in some way, shape or form.

Kara Anaya:

Or we can choose to who do we choose to be? I'm choosing love period. I choose the unconditional love. It's balanced, it's no parameters, it's not saying I'm going to show up if you do X, y and Z. So that's where, if I can give one piece of advice to help people connect to be authentically true, a, the kiddos know, when you're not, kids can feel it within them. Still, when you come out of the bathroom and you've just been crying and you're trying to smile and be okay, your kids feel your energy. We are literally teaching our children to deaden the feeling of their energy by not acknowledging it.

Carrie Lingenfelter:

Yeah, Yep, I let my kids see me cry. Yeah, there's moms that don't, but oh, yeah, they see me. Mom, why are you crying? Now Tell me, is it grandma? Do you miss abuela still? So sometimes I use that as an example, as I can if I can't, but yes, they see the cry. I I will say some of the kids coming in and I I don't know if this often is the kids with, like the PDA, I don't know if you know the pathological demand avoidance, you know really avoiding those demands on our system. And so I'm trying to say so the the perfect person, the normal quote, unquote person is not my words. That's what my 10 year old is picking up.

Carrie Lingenfelter:

I want to be the normal person and my seven year old, I want to be the normal person. That's how I receive love, Even though mom has always given unconditional love, dad has always given. Both of us are very, very connected with them unconditional love Dad has always given. Both of us are very, very connected with them, and it's just the world, it's our personality. I don't know.

Kara Anaya:

This is the key that they're trying to give you. I want to be normal. No-transcript. Tell me what normal looks like and then let's step into it. What does normal feel like to you, buddy, you know? And let's, let's step into that, because it may be something as small as I don't want to do this one thing anymore, or to to whatever, and and, and. We can help them shift that, because a lot of times what they are considering normal is like way outside the box of what we are, you know.

Kara Anaya:

So I would really step in and be like okay, let's put this down on paper, let's see what normal looks like and let's start walking this and let's make sure it feels authentic to you. You know every step of the way. It's not my authenticity, because they come down here in many ways as a vibrational blank slate. They have the unconditional love that we all have. But guess what? It starts, the duality starts coming on right and it could be that they have huge sensory issues. So sounds really bother them, or touch really bothers them, or these things really bother them. And when we step into recognizing, maybe that's the one thing that they want to be normal. Not all of me. Like what's his name from that movie. That just was. That just came out, the real live action how to train your dragon, right? He's, like you just pointed to, all of me Cute.

Kara Anaya:

So I would, I would step in and go what does normal look like for you? And then try to break it down, because sometimes, even if they are verbal I know for me I'm verbal I had a hard time expressing what that looked like to somebody else. And, as parents, most of the parents I've worked with okay, 99.9% of the parents I've worked with have been I am game to do whatever I need to do to help my kids, right. So it's like, with that kind of commitment, that is a huge commitment. It's a huge commitment. Anything is possible. They told me my kid would be nonverbal forever. They told me they wanted to put him in day programs. They wanted to, you know. And now he owns two. Does he own two houses? I can't remember, but he's married, he's a foreman with his own truck. He's amazing, beautiful. So this possibility is only there if we believe it.

Carrie Lingenfelter:

Okay, I love it. So okay, I was going to say I think my last question for you is what would you tell parents raising kids today? What's your favorite thing to share?

Kara Anaya:

You are the expert period. Yeah, you're going to read a lot of things. What I found? I have a book that's coming out called the Many Faces of Autism and I'm still working with it because I have a whole new chapter. I have a couple new chapters, so it's kind of amazing.

Kara Anaya:

But the books that I found that helped me the most were the ones that just shared. This is what we did. They weren't trying to push an agenda, don't push me. You're Jenny McCarthy, bs. Okay, I'm glad it worked for you.

Kara Anaya:

Share your story to me. I'm sorry. I'm sorry but it is. It really is, and I've frigging ran those circles and I don't mean to call her out. It was an amazing pathway she did and she's an amazing woman. But when you get stuck on, this is the only way to do it, then the parents, like me, where it didn't friggin work, feel horrible. Ok, so you are the expert. I don't know you and I friggin trust you. I know what you've been through. You are amazing, you are beautiful. If I had one word keep being you, keep shining, keep going strong. You are doing absolutely amazing. Go find those books that resonate with you. Keep shining, keep going strong. You are doing absolutely amazing. Go find those books that resonate with you and follow those. And when your friend tells you do X, Y and Z, walk away because they don't know They've not walked your path. You're amazing, right.

Carrie Lingenfelter:

Yes, Beautiful. So many parents need to hear like to follow themselves and that they're not alone. Everybody there's so many of us. And if they're saying that that they haven't gone through struggles as a parent, they're not being authentic, because we've all had our moments in our own journeys.

Kara Anaya:

One more thing, I don't care the thoughts you've had or how bad it's gotten on your journey. Okay, people, because we've all been there, one of the things I did I want to share this quick story. I went and I talked at a college level and these were, these were kids becoming teachers, you know, in this wonderful land of no child left behind, where they just threw all of our kids together and gave them no supports, and they said well, we had a parent say one time that they had a thought that it would just be easier to drive their car into that semi than it would be to continue living the life that they've led. And I said you're doggone, right, we've had those thoughts, but we're stronger because we're still here. So every one of you is stronger. You're here, we've had those thoughts, but we're stronger because we're still here. So every one of you is stronger. You're here. We've had those thoughts.

Kara Anaya:

Okay, whatever they are, and sometimes we've done things that we're not even proud of, but you're still here. That doesn't make you into a beast. Only, if you continue to walk down that line, you are amazing. People, I love you. Sorry, I'm sorry. I felt that because so many times people think I'm unredeemable. Well, guess what? Our kids are feeling that too. They feel unredeemable, and it doesn't matter. Everyone. Everyone can step back and make different choices. It is possible, yeah.

Carrie Lingenfelter:

Yeah, beautiful. Thank you so much, kara. We appreciate your journey and sharing your journey with us.

Kara Anaya:

Absolutely.

Carrie Lingenfelter:

Well, that's a wrap. Thanks so much for tuning in. Changemakers. This is Kari, and if you haven't done a review for us five stars and a little few words about what you've enjoyed in our podcast episodes, we would really appreciate it. If you guys would like to ever message me, I would love any questions you have or any feedback. At info at heart to heart lifecom, we also have a brand new website which we're super excited to share. It's heart to heart lifecom. Thanks so much for tuning in and happy life. Happy times. Change maker families. Bye.