External Obedience - Internal Rebellion - Which Are You

Are you doing the right things for the wrong reasons? 

In this episode, Tim Owen tackles one of the most uncomfortable questions a person can face — the gap between what you show the world and what’s actually going on inside. 

Using real stories from Scripture, Tim exposes the danger of external obedience with internal rebellion, and challenges you to ask the one question that changes everything: 

Why am I really doing this? Whether you’re a lifelong believer or just spiritually curious, this episode will cause you to stop, think, and get honest with yourself — and with God.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

Check out our YouTube Channel “You Finishing Well” and our website: www.youfinishingwell.com 

All you have to do is go to our website and sign up for updates - all free. 

Stay strong, pure, and like Christ - Thanks for taking the journey with me! 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Hey everybody, and welcome back to my podcast, You Finishing Well. This is Tim Owen. I wanted to ask a question today about how you look to other people. How did they how do you appear to them? But what do you think of yourself and are those things aligned? Let's talk about that. You know, it's really kind of an interesting question. When is it actually good to do the right thing externally, even when you don't feel it internally? I mean, you don't feel like eating right and working out, but if you do, you win, right? Or you don't feel like being kind, but when you are, it normally turns out pretty well, right? That's there's real value in doing the right thing, even though you don't really feel like doing it. But I want to go sort of beyond that today because I think there's a version of doing the right thing. I'm going to get a little religious with you, but stay with me, that God finds deeply, deeply troubling. In fact, I think the average person on the street might even say to you or me, if we're faking it, why don't you just be honest? Why, just don't fake it. And I'm talking about the times when your kind of your performance and your inside reality just don't line up. You, in other words, you might act loving while harboring anger, or you show up to church while you're maybe nursing a secret sin, or you look generous or faithful or devoted or whatever, while your heart is completely living in a completely different place. So here's the question that I think that really matters. Why are we doing things? Why are we faking it? I mean, is it the things that we do, are they really to serve other people? I mean, are they really designed to honor God? Or, and I'm just being candid, and I want you to be candid with yourself. Is it just self-gratification? Are we or you protecting your image? Or are you managing what people think of you? Because that's really important to you. There's a deep root tied to that. And to say it plainly, if it's where you are, honestly, you're kind of a poser. You just are. So, what does God actually say about this kind of lifestyle? And more personally, what areas in your life are not actually real? You're doing it for the wrong reason. So, again, let me say it. I think there is value in doing the right thing even when you don't feel like it. So I don't want to kind of lose that point, but motive, motive is the thing. The motive that lives in a place that nobody else can see. You possibly have the wrong motive for doing the right thing. You know, Proverbs 16, 2 says that people may think everything they do is right, but the Lord judges their reasons. So he's not looking at their actions, he's looking at their reasons that's motive. So are you serving because you genuinely love the person that's standing in front of you? Or are you really doing it because you want to be seen as a nice person? Are you giving because your heart is actually moved? Or because you just want a reputation of being a generous person? Are you obedient? Do you do the right things because you trust God, you love God, you love Christ, you love the Holy Spirit, you love other people, and you just want to do it because of a love action. Your love actually causes you to do certain good and godly things, or are you just managing what people think of you? You know, I think these are real questions. They're very simple. They're not, they're they're they're profound, I think, but they are very simple. And I think most of us, if we just slow down enough to really be honest, I don't think we stop and evaluate this thing enough. So let's look at a few times in the Bible that God actually documents the poser attitude, if you will. So I don't know how familiar you are with King Saul, but he's one of the oldest and the clearest examples of this. God gave him a direct command in the Bible. He said, Go destroy the Amicalites completely. Don't take anything with you. Completely destroy them. But Saul, when he got back, he actually kept the best livestock, and he brought back the enemy king alive, kind of as a trophy. And when Samuel the prophet came in to check things out and he confronted them, Saul the king said something that I think we all kind of recognize. He defended his disobedience with religious language. He these were his words. He said, I saved the best to sacrifice to the Lord. And Samuel the prophet, he just kind of cut right through it all. These were his words from Samuel 15, 22. He said, Saul, which pleases the Lord more? Burnt offerings and sacrifices or obeying the Lord? Is it better to obey than to sacrifice? That's what uh Samuel said to him. So Saul, he really did look like, quote, the warrior, and he sounded like a worshiper, but his why, why did he do it? Frankly, it was self-preservation dressed up as devotion. And his external performance, it was real, but his internal submission and honesty was not. So here's the truth about what should cause all of us to sort of pump the brakes and look at this. God is actually looking at our heart and our motivation, and he's not concerned about us managing our reputation. So let me ask you a quick question. Is there an area in your life, I want you to just pause with me for a moment, sit with us for a moment, that you're performing good obedience, could be in a marriage, could be in a relationship, maybe there's someone you haven't forgiven, uh, but you're being nice to them. Now, I applaud that to a point, but the better thing is to forgive them. And I am, again, not speaking of I don't feel like working out today, but I'm gonna go to the gym. That's not a poser, that's just doing what you don't feel like doing, and that's the right thing. But what in your life are you focusing more on managing your appearance more than having true obedience, your heart and your mind is actually aligned with what you're doing. So let me take you to one of the most well-known stories, and then I won't give you too many examples, but probably everyone has heard about the prodigal son. Most people focus on the younger brother, the one who took the inheritance. He burned through all the money, he ended up feeding pigs, and then one day he thought what the pigs were eating was better than what he was eating. So he came to his senses, he goes home, and I think that's just a stun, and his dad forgave him and welcomed him, and that is a stunning picture of grace. But Jesus really didn't end the story there. There's an older brother, you're probably very familiar with this if you're a church person, and when the party starts for the son who had left and come back home, the older brother, the one who stayed, he did the right thing, the one who worked, he did the right thing, the one who showed up every single day, he is standing outside of that party furious and refusing to go in. Well, his father came to him and the older brother and asked him about it, and the brother says, the older brother who would not go to the party, I have served you like a slave for many years, and I have always obeyed your commands. I mean, he served, he obeyed every single day, he checked off every box. But listen to what's underneath him. It's resentment, it's bitterness, it's bitterness. It's a secret ledger that he had been keeping for years. He didn't obey his father out of love. He obeyed him because he was trying to earn something. And when that something didn't come true, his real heart showed up at the party, standing outside, arms crossed, refusing to go in. It's you know, I there's a saying that I heard on the movie, it's not my own saying, but I I think I've coined it. Time brings all things to light. It does. If you give something enough time, like this older brother, sooner or later the real colors, the real you finally shows up. The why actually comes to the surface. And what kind of cuts through all of this to me is the younger brother who had left and squandered the inheritance, he, when he was looking at the pigs, he was lost and he knew it. But the older son was lost, but he didn't know it. So which one, when you approach those kind of people, which one is harder to reach? It's the poser. It's the one who's trying to look good rather than just being honest. And you know, God has been saying this for a long, long time. And uh in Isaiah, when the people went through the motions to pray and to fast and to offer sacrifices, Isaiah said in 29 13, these people, or this is God speaking through Isaiah, these people come near me with their mouth, and they honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. And then Jesus quoted that exact same verse to the Pharisees centuries later. So here's kind of analogy, and then I'll then I'll stop with the uh I think you get the point. But imagine having a storefront with beautiful windows. I mean, there's great displays, there's attractive signage, the lights make everything really look appealing. But when you go inside the store, the shelves are empty. And that's what religious performance, I think, looks like to God. He doesn't browse your storefront, he walks right past all of that and goes inside. Proverbs 21, 2 says, a person may think his own ways are right, but the Lord weighs the heart. He doesn't weigh your attendance, he doesn't weigh the vocabulary or what you post online or the photos. What that's not what he's looking at. So I want to tell you a story that I think is a powerful one, and it's simple, but it's about my marriage. And I remember my first marriage that I would come home and I would act as if I loved my wife. But something was brewing deep inside of me. I was it was a it all it was an anger. It was I'm not going to go into details, but I was not satisfied, but I acted satisfied. I mean, I was a time bomb waiting to go off, and one day I went off. I mean, you've met these kind of people. They they have a chip on their shoulder, but they're smiling and they're shaking your hand, and they're some of them are even telling you that they love you. So I just think that we erode and do damage to ourselves when we act like. Now, again, I want to say it a third time. There is a value in being nice when you don't feel like it. There is a value in showing love when you really don't feel love. I am asked the question in counseling all the time, which comes first? Should I feel good and then start doing good? Or should I just do good hoping later I will feel good? You answer the question, which comes first? The feelings and then you do good? Or should you just do good having faith and hope that the feelings will come? And the rock solid answer is do good, even if you don't feel like it. Because faith, as Hebrews 11:1 says, is having hope in the things that you cannot see. You can't see how it's going to play out, but love always works. It's the greatest gift of all. And if you show love, even if you don't have it, but your desire in your heart is to want to love. But if you truly are not nurturing the change of thoughts and the change in your heart, then you're just frankly going through the motions and and you're you're you're a ticking time bomb. You know, probably in closing, the best person, I think, in the Bible, uh, which is a positive example, is King David. If you know anything about the Bible, they call him a man after God's own heart. I mean, this guy failed in great ways. I mean, he he killed somebody, he covered it up. There was murder, adultery. But when he was confronted about what he had done, he stopped performing, he came clean, and he just confessed it. In Psalm 51, 10, he wrote, Create in me a pure heart and make my spirit right again. He just didn't dress it up. There was no explaining it. I mean, it was true brokenness, and it was exposed and laid before God. And that's what God is looking for. So let me ask you and me very directly, are you going through the motions? They could be good motions or religious motions. Is there anger or unforgiveness or secret sin? And are you living behind public performance? Or are you living behind faith? Just do well having hope that God will bless what you're doing. You may not see the outcome, but you you are trusting that God will bless it. You want to do good, you want to think good, you want to feel it in your heart. You know, Jesus said that the Father is seeking the people who truly want to worship in spirit, but in truth. Not performance, but in truth. You know, at the end of the day, you can fool your spouse, you can fool your pastor, your small group, your coworkers, you can even fool yourself, but you cannot fool God. He sees it all, and deep down, I think you and I really do know that. But we just try to not think about it. So, what does this actually look like on a day-to-day basis? Here's the practical advice: just be honest. Confess where you struggle and confess it to God and possibly listen, possibly to a close friend, but only a friend who I think can walk beside you. And I say a wise friend because confessing to someone who really can't help you probably is not a good idea. And then just evaluate, really be slow down right now and evaluate your heart. You know, are you real? Does your actions really line up with who you really are? And I know it can sound religious, but I'm going to say this anyway. Just live like Christ. I mean, if you have not given your life to Christ, we all love the saving part of Jesus. He came, died for our sins, lived the perfect life that we would not live, and he saved our souls, so when we die, we will go to heaven. Well, that's a beautiful thing. It's kind of like a ticket to heaven and you got out of hell. But the Lord part, is he your Lord and Savior? We love the saving part. But do we really want to live like him? I mean, Jesus Christ lived for other people. He died for other people. He had completely pure motives. And here's what I think is so profound. When you serve and serve with a clean and pure heart, you become free. And when you give, I mean, truly give from your heart, there's a sense of purpose that I think that grows. And I think when you sacrifice time and you put forth effort for others, I mean, truly because you want to, your confidence grows, your self-worth actually increases. It's just how it happens. Or you can just keep faking it like everything is fine. But you, but you know that it isn't. So if you really want to be free, and I think you do, and don't you want to carry a lighter load, then just be honest. Confess it. Quit dragging it around because there is nothing quite like living with freedom. There's nothing like it. So I want to ask you to be honest, just don't turn this off and say, hey, that was a pretty good podcast, pretty good word. What in your life really needs attention? What in your life where you've self-confidence problems? You have a self-esteem issue, maybe you have anger, maybe you haven't forgiven someone, maybe there's someone that you did wrong and you've never gone back and you made it right, and now you're just kind of acting like it never happened. Or what if there is something inside of you that you're really struggling? I mean, I know people who have severe addictions, but in the eyes of everybody else, they want to look like they have it together. And frankly, they're eroding, they're deteriorating on the inside. You don't want to live that way. Wouldn't it be great, just like King David did, just come clean and pray, God, give me a pure heart. If there's something you need to confess and come clean on, find a counselor, a therapist, a close friend, and share it with them. Actually do something with this word. I hope you will. So let me just pray for you right now, but I'm gonna pray as if I am you, okay? So, Lord, I just come to you right now, and I'm not coming to you with a cleaned up version of myself. I'm not coming with I'm kind of a performance-ready kind of person. I'm coming as if it's just me. I'm talking about the real me. And honestly, some of it inside of me, it's just not real. It's not pretty. But you, you already know what is inside of me. So I just pray that the sin or the addiction or the thing that I've never really dealt with, I pray that you will give me a pure and clean heart. One that really chases after you for the right reasons. I just I don't I don't just want accolades. I want to do the right thing because I love you. I want to do the good thing because I want to follow in love, not just duty, but in love, Jesus Christ. I want to listen to the Holy Spirit, not because I should. That is a good reason, but I really want to do it out of love. I want to serve other people out of love. And if I Have anybody that I've not forgiven, maybe they they can't forget it. Maybe the pain and the distance has actually grown in their heart. But for me, I've forgotten about it. If there's someone like that in my life, I pray that you would bring them to my mind and to my heart. So I want to come home. I want to quit dragging anything that's undone around in my life. I don't want to just come partway, halfway. I want to come all the way. I really do want to walk free. I want to put the weight of things that are not real. I just want to put those weights down. I want to stop faking it. And I want to start living from the inside with a new way of thinking and a new way of feeling it in my heart. Because you designed me to live, not to hide in the shadows. So in the name of Jesus Christ, I want him to be my Lord and follow him out of love, not just duty. And I thank him for being my Savior. He paid for my sins. That's what it's all about. And I want to live as if Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior. Please help me do this. In the name of Jesus Christ. Amen. Okay, my good people. I hope this has been helpful. If it is, pass my podcast around to somebody else that you think might help them. I hope you will do something. And until the next time we connect, have a beautiful day.