Sampson & Delilah As You’ve Never Heard

What if the thing quietly destroying your life doesn’t look dangerous at all?

Samson was set apart by God before birth, supernaturally gifted, called to something extraordinary. But he had a pattern of drifting toward what felt good and assuming God’s strength would cover him no matter how far he wandered. It did, until it didn’t. 

In this episode, Tim Owen walks through one of the most sobering stories in Scripture and asks the question we all need to sit with: What is your Delilah?

 Not the woman, the thing. The habit, the attachment, the comfort, the craving you keep returning to even when you know it’s costing you. You’ll also be challenged to look in the mirror before you look at anyone else’s struggle. Because most of us are quicker to name someone else’s weakness than to honestly face our own.

Check out our YouTube Channel “You Finishing Well” and our website: www.youfinishingwell.com 

All you have to do is go to our website and sign up for updates - all free. 

Stay strong, pure, and like Christ - Thanks for taking the journey with me! 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Hey everybody and welcome back to You Finishing Well. This is Tim Owen. I want to ask, how much do you know about Samson and Delilah? And what does that have to do with your strengths and your weaknesses about life? I hope you might stay with me because I think you're going to recognize something in your own life. Let's talk about it. You know, I'm going to assume that maybe you have heard of Samson and Deliah. You know, he is the strong guy, he has long hair, he brought down a building. A lot of people don't know the end of his story, but I want to talk about that. But they really don't know the real story. It's kind of the story underneath the headline. And the headline, as you probably know, is Strong Man Meets Dangerous Woman and then he loses everything. But the actual story, it's really about a slow drift. And honestly, the story sounds a lot more familiar than we probably realize. I don't know if you know this, but before Samson was even born, God had a plan for him. He was supposed to be a Nazarite. Now you might not recognize that term, but that means he's set apart. He's consecrated. He's dedicated to God in a serious and specific way. He was not supposed to cut his hair, and that was sort of a daily symbol or a reminder of who he belonged to and what he was called to do. He also was not supposed to drink. Nazarites did not drink. So that was who Samson was supposed to be. But here's what actually happened. Samson, like many of us, had a pattern. And it wasn't like a giant fall in his life. It was a small, repeated pattern. He kept chasing what looked good. He kept ignoring wisdom. He kept playing near the edge where he was always called to avoid. And somewhere in the back of his mind, I think he even convinced himself that God's strength would just always be there. I cannot tell you how many times I assumed that in my past life. I can't tell you how many people I know that are doing things that they should not do, and they just think God is just always going to be there, and the strength of God will always support them. And it really isn't that way. Well, Samson obviously thought this, and then came Delilah. Now, here's something that if you're reading the text in the Bible, that a lot of people might skip over. Delilah was from the valley of Sorek, and that was a vineyard region. Now remember, he's not supposed to be drinking. And so Samson was forbidden for all of this, and he was walking again up to the border or the or the boundary that God had given him. And it was a boundary he was never supposed to cross. And not only was he not supposed to be drinking, he really was forbidden from having anything to do with the fruit of the vine, the grapes, the wine, anything connected to it. And Sorek wasn't just sort of a backdrop in the story, it was a boundary marker, a line that Samson was never supposed to cross. But if you know anything about Samson, he crossed it anyway. And here's how it seems to always go. First it's proximity, and then it's comfort, and then it's sort of an attachment. And then one day what started as a choice really becomes our chain. And that is sort of the architecture of addiction, isn't it? You know, the Bible says that Samson fell in love with Delilah, but what was very interesting is it never said once that she loved him. In fact, the Philistine rulers came to her and offered money, a significant sum of money, to discover Samson's strength, and so she began to nag him. She pressed him, she manipulated him, she weaponized him and his emotions. And then when he finally told her that the hair was where his he got his strength, what was very fascinating is that Samson kept coming back. He stayed. And that part of the story is really what kind of makes me pause a little bit because he saw, or he had to see, I guess, what was happening. Every time he would give her a false answer, she would try to hand him over, and he went back to her. So there must have been some draw about Delilah, some beauty, some sex. I I don't really know. The Bible really doesn't stay, but he he kept coming back. He kept returning to the thing that kept destroying him, or at least was trying to destroy him. Now, I don't I don't know about you, but I think we all understand that feeling of coming back more than we probably realize. Because people can become emotionally attached to what is slowly killing him. It's you know, you wake up in the morning and you say, I'm not going to do that again, and by dinner time at that night, you have. And then you've let yourself down and you're down about I mean, we cycle, right? It happens all the time. And what's interesting is our desire, I think, clouds our discernment. And loneliness, even, can override our wisdom. And frankly, pleasure and comfort or approval or whatever it is, it can kind of mute every warning sign that frankly God is sending. So we kind of tell ourselves, I can handle it, I can recover again, I'm still strong, I'll start tomorrow, right? This has got to sound familiar to you. But Samson told himself probably those same things right up until the moment he told her the truth. And then he told her that his hair was where his strength came. He said, No razor has ever been used on my head. And then, listen, this is important. One of the saddest verses in Scripture, it said in Judges 16, 20, and when he told Delilah this, but he did not know that the Lord had left him. See, he always thought God was going to be around. He woke up, he thought he was still the same guy. He flexed, but this time, when he flexed, nothing was there. And here's what I want you to hear, because this is kind of the part that matters for your life and my life, not just Samson's life. People don't usually wake up one morning and say to themselves, I think I'm gonna destroy my marriage or my faith or my integrity or my future. All of this, I mean, think about where you are in the thing that you hate. It grew gradually, right? It was little compromises that felt like nothing at first, and then it's kind of tolerated into a habit and probably a hidden one. And then an emotional attachment kind of creeps in, and then finally, before you know it, you are addicted. You are hooked. Something has happened that you thought would never happen. And then, like Samson, all the strength is gone. I mean, it's kind of like if you think about it, carbon monoxide. You can't see it, you can't smell it, you don't feel it, not at first, but while the room is filling up with it every day, you know, molecule by molecule, no dramatic moment, no warning label, just a slow, invisible thing, and taking away the very thing that you need to live. And that is what an unmanaged Delilah looks like. Proverbs 423 says, Be careful what you think, because your thoughts run your life. And another proverb, Proverbs 14, 12 says, There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death. So Samson's way probably seemed okay to him. It didn't probably seem reckless or dangerous. So I want to kind of speak to you directly for a moment about all of this. You know, Delilah is not just some woman in an ancient story. I think she represents anything, listen, anything you love more than obedience to God. And man, I know that's kind of sounds churchy, but anything that slowly drains your calling, anything that takes away or compromises your integrity or your clarity or your marriage or your spiritual strength, even your purpose. And it might not look that dangerous, but that's just the point. I think the most destructive Delilas in our life rarely look destructive, not at first. But for some people, Delilah is also an addiction. For others, I mean, we already know the list. It's pornography, it could be money, it could be the pursuit of it, it could be things that you quietly do for others, like giving love so that you can get love. It could be an emotional attachment that started innocent, but it went somewhere that you never thought that it would go. And the list goes on and on. The danger isn't just the temptation. The danger, listen, is emotionally being connected to the thing that is weakening you. Because once you are emotionally attached, your discernment, listen, your discernment is the first thing to go. Listen, I have lived this, I have done this. You stop hearing the warnings, you stop seeing the pattern, you start defending the very thing that's draining you dry. And strength, and listen, strength in one area does not necessarily protect weakness in another. A gifted person can still be deeply vulnerable. And a person who loves God, even, can still be slowly losing ground in a corner of their life that they really have never invited God into. So I want to say one more thing that I think is very important before we go any further. And I and I'm saying this to myself, and I'm saying this to anyone who's listening. Before you judge, listen to me, before you judge someone who is struggling with their Delilah, before you shake your head at the addict or the person that can't leave the long or the wrong relationship, the one who keeps falling into the same sin over and over, I would like to ask that you stop for a second and just think about yourself. What is that thing you keep trying to overcome? But you just keep returning to it. And you know exactly what I'm talking about. It's that thing that you promised yourself, maybe you promised God a hundred times that you were done with it, and yet here you are again. Or maybe it's the weight that you keep dealing with, or the drink that you keep saying you'll cut back on, or the laziness that's stealing your best hours, or the lust that you managed for a while, but now you don't manage it. Or it maybe it's the relationship that you know isn't right, but you just can't seem to walk away from it. Maybe it's a critical spirit that comes out before you even realize it. The people maybe that you need to call, but somehow you never do. And the list, that list, it goes on and on. And if we're honest, every single one of us, me included, has something on this list. And you know, Jesus really spoke, you're gonna know this verse if you're a church person, to this situation about judging others. He said, Why do you notice the little piece of dust in your friend's eye, but you don't notice the big piece of wood in your own eye? You are a hypocrite. First, take the wood out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the dust out of your friend's eye. That's Matthew 7, 3, and 5. And this verse, I think, has a way of kind of making the room quiet, doesn't it? Because it's so much easier to diagnose somebody else's Delilah than it is to frankly name our own. It's much more comfortable to be concerned about what's weakening them than to rather sit with the question of what is weakening you and me. So I what I say with with respect, before you and I press other people to change, I say we do the harder work first. Let's take the log out of our own eye. Let's be kind to people who have earned the right to speak into someone else's, and and let's not judge them. And and I think being open about this isn't a weakness, it's integrity. So after everything, after the betrayal, after the humilation humiliation, after they gouged out Samson's eyes and they put him to work grinding grain like an animal in prison, something changed in Samson. In fact, if you read the story, uh it was kind of interesting. It said, and then his hair began to grow. I thought that was interesting. But when his physical eyes were gone, spiritually, I think, and the Bible makes it very clear in the story, that he saw things clearly. He cried out to God, Lord God, remember me. And God, as usual, in his mercy, answered. And I think that is one of the great stubborn, relentless themes of Scripture. God shows up. Romans eight one says, So now those who are in Jesus Christ are not judged guilty, and there is grace, and there is restoration. And again, there is God who meets us at our very lowest bottom. But I don't want to soften this. Samson's story is a warning because you can waste an enormous and irretrievable amount of your life playing around with what God has specifically warned all of us about. And his grace is not the absence of consequences. You may still have to play out the consequences. God's mercy is real, but so is the damage that we do while we're busy ignoring him. The Apostle Paul said, So do you think we should continue sinning so that God will give us even more grace? And he said, No, that's Romans 6, 1 and 2. The grace of God, listen, is not a safety net for a game that we were never supposed to be playing to begin with. God's grace, it is up to him. Sometimes you get it and sometimes you don't. So if we're going to talk about you before we talk about them, what is weakening you right now? Not what used to weaken you. What's weakening you weakening you right now? And here's a harder follow-up question. Are you emotionally attached to it? Why do I ask that? Because that is the real test. If the thought of letting it go produces a fear or grief or resistance or even defensiveness, that alone should tell you something. It's not just a habit, it's a Delilah. So what do you do? You name it. You just be honest about what it is before God and then do what Samson finally did. What it what it took for him was blindness and chains and humiliation. But what he did after all of that is he just came back. Because our biggest weakness is unmanaged desire. Listen, let me say that again. Our biggest weakness is unmanaged desire. So when you come back, you have to be accountable. I I think our greatest resource is God, who still restores people toward him. And even though you may have consequences, you must come clean and live a transparent life. And I say, why would you wait for as long as Samson did? Why would you waste so much life when you could come back now? And I think once we work on us, then, as Jesus' uh recommendation was, then we can see more clearly to what other people need and how we can help them. So that hopefully might be a Samson and Delilah story that you've never seen those angles before. And it's and you know, Delilah was not good, but but neither was Samson. So with all of that, I always like to close in prayer. Let me pray for us all. God, you really do see us all. I mean, every drift that we've tried to hide, every compromise we've told ourselves was manageable, you see it all. And somehow you still come after us. Somehow you still give us Jesus Christ to pay for our sins. Why would we keep sinning when you have paid for our sins? Jesus died for our sins. So today, would you do what only you can do? I pray that you would put the finger on me and a finger on whoever's listening this in their lives and protect them and let them no longer tolerate what is happening. I pray that you will give us the courage to call it what it is. Not a quirk, not fl I made a mistake or did something wrong, but really call it for what it is. Give us the honesty to say it. This is my Delilah. And I just frankly have given it too much time of my life. And God just forgive us for the times that we have been quicker to point out somebody else's struggle rather than facing our own. And forgive us for the log that we frankly have been carrying while critiquing other people's eyes. And I just pray that you will give us genuine humility. And for anyone who's listening that maybe has already lost ground, whose eyes are open now after a long drift, just remind them that you are the God of Samson. If you showed up for him after it was all, after all the wreckage that he left behind, you will, you will show up for us. You are the God who answers even from like Samson, a prison floor. And for those who are listening and they're just not sure whether they even believe any of this, the one who's been living by their own strength and they're starting to maybe, maybe feel it out a little bit, or maybe they're running out of energy. I just pray that you reveal who you really are. This is not a religion. This is a relationship. It is not rules, it is what we love and how we want to live. We do not want to finish life looking back at all that we've wasted. So help us, please, finish well. And we pray these things in Jesus' name. Amen. All right, guys. The goal is not to listen and go, hey, that was pretty good. What are you and I going to do? That's the key. Until next time, thanks for listening. And have a beautiful day.