Africa: Society & Culture - Aging/Ageing … Why do some embrace it gracefully, while others loathe it?

Africa: Society & Culture - Aging/Ageing … Why do some embrace it gracefully, while others loathe it?

Ndisco's Village Meeting Podcast: Series 3 Episode 28

Hosted by Dr. Marcellina Ndidi Oparaoji

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:05

Hello everyone. Welcome. I welcome you warmly to this episode of Disco's Village Meeting Podcast. This is uh series three, episode twenty-eight. How are you all doing? How on a day? Welcome. Good morning, good afternoon, good evening, wherever you may be. I hope you uh beginning to get ready for the summer. Um in the next few weeks, actually, in an about about another week or so, we get into the hard hard mid-summer. So I'm hope you're ready for the fun and uh to protect your skin out there um while you're having fun. So today we're going into um a different topic altogether. I know um for a few uh weeks I have been working hard trying to put stuff together, and um I wanted to present on some other topics, but this one came to be because I had discussions with some people, actually, um some fellow women. And um and this type of discussion I I have listened to men also talk about. And um again, I've been accused of uh not uh caring about anybody else but the young ones, but today I thought, oh, anyway, um I don't it's not that I don't care for everybody, including the old. It's just that there are so many things to be talked about. And um we gotta start somewhere. And believe me, we'll get to all the topics old, young, um, small, big. Um, it's just that the ton of events um are making us move our compasses um um from where one area to the other. So start, you know, I do apologize about the confusion, but it's not really a confusion. It's just as things come up, we talk about them. So today we're going to talk about a topic that is uh it's not a concern, but it's um uh becoming a little bit um something that some people are beginning to be uh either concerned about or they are looking forward to um that period in our life. So, what are we talking about? We are talking about uh aging. Uh you can you can see the two types of spelling there, aging with an E and regular aging, it depends on where you are in the world. Um, and um it's part of our culture, it's part of our African outlook, it's part of the world outlook to talk about growing up. So um this is a there's gonna be three series to this part, but we start today by asking the question why do some embrace this period of our lives um gracefully? They welcome that, while others really don't look forward to it, they don't they don't like it. Um, as each birthday come uh comes um um close, they start to panic and do whatever else in their lives to turn this around or move things back. Ah, each. What about it? So let's delve in. I always believe in starting with um defining, I think by definition, we just then have an idea of what we are talking about, what others, how others look at it, what we have in our minds as the the the the meaning of what we are talking about, and most especially learn from others, or others learn from us what our thoughts are. So when I looked into aging to know what exactly it is, I have an idea, but I don't want it to be my thoughts only. But what does the world think aging is? So I combined it. This is what I found, um, many schools of thought on this. And it came down to being the progressive accumulation of physical, psychological, and social changes in an organism, meaning humans and non-human, I mean, like um, or animals and all that. The biological changes results from molecular and cellular damage over decades, leading to gradual decline of tissue function and regenerative capacity. I know these are big words, but it just means that whatever God has put in us or heavens are put in us or whatever, whoever put that in us, get old gradually. They change. Aging is change. We were born little, we grow up. We now have aged or are aging, depending on where you are along the spectrum. Remember when we were small, we were craving to be really grown up. Those of you who in secondary school you want to go to um high school and get it over with, then senior high, and then you want to get into the university and get a job, maybe get married in that order, or you know, retire and all that. And as you get into each step, you start looking back and like, wow, what how did I get here? Should I you wish back? So I always tell the young ones when they say, Oh, I I I can't wait to that. I'm like, no, no, no, no, no. Take your time and wait. Um, enjoy wherever you are, whatever level you are, and all that. It's something given to us, it's not step-by-step for everybody. Um, that those stages could be taken away from you anytime. So, this is what aging is all about. If you look at this definition, we're talking about biological changes. So, as we go on, you're going to find the difference between biological changes or aging and what they call chronological aging. Hang on. So, what are the common physical and cognitive when it's like the knowledge? How do you know or how do you observe changes that occur if you're aging? First of all, you have the skin and the hair. Some of you see um there is something called collagen or collagen, like some people call it on our body that makes us like looking fresh and elastic and you know, tight skinned and all that, looking good all the time. Well, as you get into teenage years and all that, you see those, and people see you glowing and all that. It's a lot of you know, collagen going on. But as you get older in age, as you get added years, um, you find that those reduce. And then you start seeing wrinkles. And from also the pigment of the melanin on your skin, whether you are white, yellow, or red or black, they the the loss of this pigment called melanin um will start causing your hair to turn gray. So, and sometimes no matter how much you color it, and the women will tell you that, or even men, um, you can't stop the gray. It will come again and again, or even faster. So that's one aspect. The other aspect is the musculoskeletal changes, the muscle mass loss. You know, when we were young, we were running around everywhere and doing everything, and you have all these muscles to show, and you know, um, that's part of you, that's part of growing up. Okay, but then as you age, as you get up in years, you see those muscle, the mass start getting lost. Okay, um, the bone, your bone density starts decreasing. Um, you you have joint pain because you're lubricating fluid that are in those, um, you know, those some of them, of course, I know your fluid and all that. They they start drying up in your joints, and you have those aches, and those affect your mobility to walk along distances, to sit, uh, you know, to get up and all that, those are affected, and you know, falls can occur from that. We have this sensory perception. Sensory means that the eyes, the touch, and everything, that your senses are no longer what they used to be from the youth uh era. You're now getting old to the elder, to the to the age that your eyes begin to lose the focus to close uh objects, you know, prior pre pres biopia um start occurring. And for those of you, you know, for us who started wearing glasses when we are little, little, um, we may not, you know, uh know the changes to that, but really when you take off those glasses, you'll find that what you used to be able to focus on before are no longer that way if you're getting older. Um the hearing is no longer what it used to be. And you see the young ones telling the old, I think, I can't hear you. What did you say? What did I mean? The old ones are telling you how it is, they're not playing, they can hear well, they can't smell well, you know. So um the taste body's gone. That is some of them can't even eat three square bits because they don't really have that appetite or um the taste of what you give them. They ask you for certain foods and the others, those parts of growing old. Cognitive processing also is going on. Um, but this is the aspect where people get it wrong that when you're somebody's getting old, their general knowledge or wisdom um decreases. There is no literature out there that has said that. Um, it really either, you know, in this case, uh, actually increases. So, but the only difference is that the processes before it used to be quick, and they can hear you, they can do all that, they can, you know, uh uh tell you stuff, um, because you take what they have in their brain, also quite quick, uh, quicker than before. But now, as they get older, those knowledge are not lost. The wisdom is not lost. The only thing is that there is a slower processing speed. The reaction to what they used to be able to give you quickly may be lost. So there is that those signals that travel along the nerves are being slower. So it doesn't mean that they are now stupid, the older not stupid, they just they need more time to process and uh give you what you need. So the question then is when do people start aging? Remember when um the four-year-old and five-year-old, you will tell them you are 10 years old, they're like, Oh, you are old. And the 16 or 17-year-old, we hear about it, 30-something year old, and say, Oh, those are old. And then when we are in your 30s, you see somebody who is 60 or when they say, Oh, that's old. So it all depends on what you really know, and we are beginning to find out that the word old um is not really uh what we we you know, um, we haven't defined it in the way that others have defined that. So biologically, humans start aging as soon as development ends. And this is typically around 20 to 25 years of age, believe it or not. In our teenage years, to you know, mid to late teens, the body is still growing, it's at its peak, actually, physical growth. That's where you have those uh growth spores and all that. Um, your cells in your body are really uh so efficient and effective that they produce everything and that. But when you get to those that that uh uh 10 years, these things start stopping. They start functioning in the way they used to before. And as you approach 20 years of age, the tissues and the cellular um aspects, they uh they they beginning to they begin to experience wear and tear. So, and and that's when it starts, your aging starts. Okay, so your chronological age, like I said before, is considered the number of years you have lived on earth, believe you've been alive. But that is your biological age. It refers to how old the cells and your organs truly are, and these are based on um again, it's the lifestyle they use, how they function. And you find out that sometimes chronic stress, poor sleep, nutrition, some protection, lack of their that uh exercise and all that, those habits that really affect your your uh uh your your aspects or mitational, all that, um, the tracking of all the inner innermost systems will dictate how these uh elongated or shortened. So you may have a chronological age of 30, and because of how you are handling those other cells and organs in your body by the way of your lifestyle, you may have a biological age that is actually older or younger than your chronological age. Okay, let that sink a little bit. Okay, so there's a reason why they ask you, do you smoke, do you drink, and all that? Because all those are factors according to the literature out there that really might shorten your biological age, no matter what your chronological age is. And I think the most important thing to live in a life uh fully is if you have both functioning well at the same time. So I I took the liberty of putting the thoughts of um schools of thoughts out there, uh some highlights on um your timeline of aging, and is according to Harvard Health, Dr. Togerson, uh National Institute, Institute of Aging, uh ARP, and many more, they are saying to us that age 20 is the hidden start of aging. Uh, between ages 25 and 30, the organs start to change. And again, this is where your lifestyle comes in. Um, if you endanger your lifestyle, um, sorry, if you endanger your biological age, that's where it's affected. So your your your that it really counts a lot. The mid-30s, uh, you know, you will start seeing the visible signs, the gray hair, the wrinkles, maybe. Um, if you don't alter anything. And the age 34 is what they call the first crest. Fully, it starts showing. H60 is the second uh crest, more of the aging of um chronology and biology, and by 78, the third crest sets in. So um, again, um it depends on what we do or whether what we what we have on our life out there, okay. Um when we talk about this aging, and this is shows us how how much we we owe or we can do to our life to help or hurt um our being. So um, how do we age? Um, I looked up that in order to answer ourselves when we say we love to get old or we hate to get old, what does it really mean? Okay, is it all um out of our control or is it something that we could help? And in what way can we do that? So, what I found was that everybody who talks says age aging or aging with an E is natural, it is a natural phenomenon which we may not be able to stop, um, but we can help. Um, however, the effects of aging can be somewhat controlled by a lot of what we are going to talk about. Um, in the next episodes, I will share with us how we can help ourselves in that direction. The rate of decline in aging are strongly influenced by certain factors. And those we may be able to help, and some we may not be able to help. But it's the onus is on us to understand the differences, um, things we can control and things we cannot control in order to enhance not only the chronological age, which are there counting, but the biological age, because the biological age actually will be the one that makes everything better or worse. One is the lifestyle. How do we live? What do we eat? How do we really function day to day? That's the big question. Your lifestyle has to count. The environment we live in, how do they do it? Um it doesn't matter where you are in the world, it doesn't matter what you do, it doesn't matter how rich or poor you are, your environment might really um impact how you age, but then is it part that part of it is there or are they a part of that environment that you can control or that you can not? That's the question you ask. The genetics, we were all born from somewhere, from someone from a lineage. What is the genetic story of your lineage? So if you find out, and that's why now in the uh realm of medicine, we are going into our genes, the genetic makeup, and the theory of okay, if in in the past someone in your family had X, Y, Z disease state, it might manifest in your life now. So they're asking you questions. So those forms that you complete in your doctor's offices, they are not there for fancy. Yeah, seriously. You know, people now are being traced back to if a mother, father, or someone in your past, in your family, in your genes, in your direct DNA synthesis, um died of cancer or one of those diseases, or they trace it by something could be done upfront to help you prolong your life instead of succumbing to uh what they went through because they never they didn't know. So a whole lot is going by um, you know, the genetics and our aging. So that run away from those questions when they come. So let's look at this now. This is the um I I had to dig in to ask again why do some embrace aging, look forward to it, love it, and why do some loathe it? They are afraid of it, that you don't even mention that they are going to be one year old. Birthdays really make them shrink. If you go to one of the episodes in the past that I put up there, why people don't um you be careful how you give a surprise birthday to somebody, is because some people, for whatever reasons, especially this fear of aging, um cannot stand birthdays. Believe it or not, uh it's it's is it's out there. So, but the questions come why is it that A will enjoy the next birthday being older? And some B will say, oh no, no, God forbid, what do I do to stop it? So for those who enjoy it, we have this um idea of uh that it's because they find deep freedom. Remember, as people age, again, look back to the age 20 where aging starts, to 78 and above, there is freedom along the way. The 20-year-old cannot wait to get away from parental control. And the the the one who is always in the house, if you're a girl that is restricted, cannot wait to get older to really enjoy your life, whichever way you were thinking about it. And as it goes on and on, um, you find that you have freedom under this every stop as you age. Um, whether everybody likes that freedom or not, that's you know, another topic, another day. But you know, this deep freedom of doing whatever you want to do is what some people count on. Greater emotional stability. You know, people think as they get older, they get wiser. They know what is coming down the line, been there, done that kind of thing. They've made their mistakes. Now you fool them once, but you can't fool them twice, kind of thinking. And um, so they are looking forward to getting older and getting their, you know, fortifying their emotional stability at that point. Self-acceptance rather than fighting the natural passage of time uh or passage of time. You know, you see, um, when we were younger, think about it when you were younger, you know, um sometimes some people who don't have their self-um control or self-um acceptance actually they want to be like A or B. Jane is taller, Jane is prettier, Jane is blonde, uh Jane is uh dark, um, this person uh has um muscles, this other person has the ability, this person can smile, this person. So many things that people are fighting, you know. Um people are saying, oh, this person is skinny, this person is fat. We have heard stories of people who get into nonsense to get slimmer or get smaller, and people who are smaller who get into something to get bigger. So go figure. And you've seen people who um the color of their skins are really uh buttons to them and they want to change. And some have thought about okay, I don't function like a boy, I want to be a girl, and vice versa. So many things are going on. But when people get to that age of accepting themselves how they are, you say I'm ugly, uh, you just it's on you because I am the image God has created me. You said I am, you know, short. Ha! That means I can reach everything on the floor instead of you before you bend down from your height. You say I'm too tall. Well, I can reach the attic or it's everywhere up there that you cannot, you know, you you have now accepted that you are the image created on you know for a purpose. You've accepted who you are, and that's part of aging that brings that to some people. Okay. You've heard some women say, I don't care what you tell me now, I love what I am or who I am and all that. Um, they don't care. Some men are the same, also. Well, if you say I don't have this or that, that's fine. I'm okay the way I am. And so everybody now is finding those who enjoy aging are finding that you know what? I whatever I do, I cannot change myself from where or who I am, but to make myself comfortable in my own skin. They now have time on purpose. Those of them that are retiring or have retired now have more time than rushing up and down, going to this place and that place and walk, you know, every morning and coming back at God knows when. And this did now form there's another purpose to life than just the eight to five or nine to five. And and so that's so how they embrace that. They have gratitude now and joy and saying, I am living every day. Some of them that are in their 70s, 80s, 90s, like thanking Almighty for giving them another day when some of their colleagues are gone. So whether they are productive or not, it's another day to see the sun, to enjoy people around them. And with that, it's also stronger um relationships that one can enjoy with family members, with um friends, well-wishers, and with even strangers that someone doesn't know very well, but meeting for the first time, just because you are alive. Okay, so that's that aspect. The other aspect are those who hate or load aging. They are wondering what happened along the line. Now they see wrinkles, they they see all those things we talked about, they can taste, they can smell, and they can see, they have breath biopia. And um, they there's so many things they can't do anymore. Yeah, their concerns are genuine as well, because they think aging is now forcing them to confront that profound loss of control across many things. Movement, um, having a say in most uh aspects of their life. You see, those people who are aged now, um, who cannot do anything by themselves are relying on the uh you know um grace of their own children or people who um they don't even know who are helping them either in their homes or outside of their homes. That's the fear of it on a lot of people, and it's a genuine fear. Don't get me wrong. The physical decline. Because when you age, those organs and the cells age, and that means things are no longer as functional as they used to be. And some people take that really slightly harder than the others because they want to jump around like they used to do when they were 30s, 40s, or more. But that's the aspect of aging, it's natural. Physical aspect has to decline, or it's used to decline at that moment, but that's their problem, that's that's what their concerns are, and it's genuine for them. Loss of independence, okay. Everybody is into your into your case. Where are you going? Where are you sitting? Where are you? You know, our children are concerned, they call you every minute or two minutes like, stop, I'm alive, I'm here, I don't know. You can still take care of yourself. But it's it's genuine, but you don't you don't rule them out, you don't, you know, that's their own thinking of maybe the way of helping you, um, of uh making sure you are okay. But some people don't like that, they just don't want to be bothered. But at this age, you will be bothered. Your cognitive changes are happening and you don't like that. It's bound to happen, okay? But don't think you've lost all your knowledge or ability to learn. The only thing is that it's slower and it's okay because there are certain things we'll talk about in uh the next episodes where you that will help you get over that aspect. Societal pressure. Oh my gosh, that's the biggest one. And again, it goes back to the other side of who those who enjoy um aging. They accept what has come, but then they twist it to what they like that will fit them. The society we live in, uh we live in, sorry, um they're doing their job of being a society. They are going to poke into your personal aspect and your private aspect and all that, especially they put you in the bucket where they think you belong. And that means there are certain things you can or cannot do. But then it's up to you to listen to them or not. So this is a genuine fear because everything you do is um interpreted otherwise by the society we live in, and the pressure is to put you in that bucket of you are old, and we're waiting for you to die. That's the next step. But some today are saying, No, you can't put me in that bucket. I'm not dead yet. So we'll talk more about those. The grief and isolation of at this age, you know, everybody now, the tent is now um um, you know, uh uh open because everybody, the children are gone, and some of the older people have lost relatives, so most of the time they are all alone. And uh the grandchildren, if you have one, it comes around once in the blue moon, but most of the time they are alone. Um, so some people hate that, they know that, while on the other hand, some people love that, those who are enjoying that. See, there is a contrast of those two, like what they like and what they like. You see, that's juxtaposition of um uh what works in these areas. The financial stress is a big one, and we're gonna mention that again. Um, it's real for a lot of people, because it used to be at a certain age in the past, people, you know, the lifespan is shorter. People, you know, don't have that much time in life to do more than to just go on alive. But nowadays, with technology and the other processes helping the aging process, people are living longer. And when you live longer, you need money to live longer. You need, you know, you can't work that much anymore. And you may not have uh you may have children who you have raised that may or may not be able to help you, and the savings are actually there, but the savings may have been depleted because of the elongated number of years on earth. And in some cases, like in some countries where their government have cheated them out of their what they're supposed to grow old with, it's sad. That's a real thing, and people load that. Um, and the last day is mortality. Yes, we all will die. And for the people who equate old age to dying, that is a reality for them. Um, but then on the other hand, people who enjoy it will say, ah, well, I'll live every day as it is the last. Um, let's enjoy it while we can, let's live where we're still living instead of dying where we're living. So it all depends on who you ask. So that's the contrast between those two groups. Um, with that, um, we just started scratching the surface of this topic. We're coming back to it uh because I want to share with us all the top concerns of this, how we ourselves, um, those of us in the world, those people who are aging, who consider themselves aging, and people actually who, like you said, uh we have just said aging starts at 20, um, to have people who are at a certain level or stage of this aging process to start thinking about the end of it all. And people who are already there, what do you do to help yourself go the day-to-day aspect till it ends? And um as well as looking at what the world thinks about aging. So come with me. Let's explore this topic. And maybe along the line, if you are aging, you may find a perspective to turn things around, especially if you're one of those who loathe it. If you are some of those who enjoy it, we say, hey, more grace to your elbow, and maybe enhance what you already have. If you are young, you think you are not going to get old, think again. We hope you we hope you get old is better than dying early. And so, as you have your tomorrows, we think you should start early to think about that stage in life. And um, for those of you already in this arena who are not loving it at all, then we we may help turn your perspective around and help you find a peaceful place in between to you may not enjoy it or love it, but not hate it, but go with the ride. Okay. And um that's all that's it for today. I thank you for joining me, and um, I hope you subscribe to this. Uh, like I said, I am everywhere. This podcast is now everywhere, um, especially on YouTube where you can go and stop. And please share with everybody else. Prescription, uh sorry, subscription is is free, so please circulate and um share. Again, this is um discourse village uh meeting podcast, and we are in our third year. Thank you so much for listening. This is your host, hostess, Dr. Maslena Didia Paroji, and um saying to you good morning, good afternoon, good evening, wherever you are.