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The Mister Gordo Podcast
Once More with RIP Nicky
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Into the Woods
ep 510
Aired December 19, 2000
IMDB Summary
After Buffy catches Riley in the clutches of a vampire-junkie, Riley makes an important decision regarding their relationship.
Directed by: Marti Noxon
Written By: Marti Noxon, Rebecca Kirshner
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Welcome to the Mr. Gordo podcast with your hosts Britt and Sarah. This is currently a buffy to Vampire Square. Rewatching podcasts we will rewatch each episode and give our thoughts and opinions on this night called class episode. And remember, leave the moment for tomorrow.
SPEAKER_02And we're here for Um Into the Woods, which is a great first half of a good musical. I like the first half of Into the Woods.
SPEAKER_03Of the movie? Yeah, the musical. I tried watching and I was like, I can't get into it.
SPEAKER_02To be completely honest, the latter half I don't care about. Like the first half of that of Into the Woods is fantastic. And then the rest of it just makes like whatever. I don't care.
SPEAKER_03I'll have to give it a little bit more. I kind of watch.
SPEAKER_02I watch half of it and then I'm I legit just turn it. When it gets to a point, there's there's like a turn at one point, and you're like, you'll you'll know when you get there. We're like, well, then none of the rest of this matters. I got all the good stuff I needed out of this stuff.
SPEAKER_03I think I got 10 minutes in. I was like, eh.
SPEAKER_02It's a fun dark Grimms Brother. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Maybe I just wasn't in the mood at the time. But I'll try it out again.
SPEAKER_02It's quite possible. I mean, I will say, Mom put on Wicked, and I like wasn't really paying attention because I was reading at the time, but I did look up a couple times and I was like, yeah, this is not for me. I'm sorry. I was just like, yeah, this is even worse than I thought of it.
SPEAKER_03I don't trust people that don't like Wicked the movies, Sarah.
SPEAKER_02I watched and enjoyed Wicked the Raw Way play.
SPEAKER_03Doesn't count. It doesn't count. No, it's not. So much better.
SPEAKER_02No, it's not, especially since you haven't watched the play.
SPEAKER_03This is so much better.
SPEAKER_02Um, I just I I don't know, maybe because you know how some things work in a player musical, like the over-exaggeration or the over, like some of the ways they do things in plays, it works because of what it is, and it doesn't translate well to movie. And sometimes I don't know. If you do it right, I think it does well, but I just don't think they did it right.
SPEAKER_03Well, we will agree to disagree strongly.
SPEAKER_02There is like a way you act in plays, and there's a way you act in movies, and there's a reason because it just doesn't work the opposite way in those mediums.
SPEAKER_03I got the point of the whole Wicked story just by the movie.
SPEAKER_02I'm just saying it just was like, oh, I didn't like the acting. Oh my god, so I just didn't like it.
SPEAKER_03Oh my god, the music is so catchy. What did your mom say about it?
SPEAKER_02Um, I when I w came down here uh before it finished, I don't know what she said.
SPEAKER_03One day we are going to sit and we're gonna watch it.
SPEAKER_02I mean, she she's okay with music, but she's not a musical person, so I don't know. She probably was like, alright. Um we had just watched Greece though, which you know I'm sorry. Greece is fantastic, and you know what I mean. I mean, that's a topic. I know. Wicked is very I'm sorry, Wicked, which is extremely disappointing after watching Greece.
SPEAKER_03Again, we will strongly agree to disagree, and we're gonna move on to this episode now. Sorry. Oh, I do want to bring up that Nicholas Brendan uh what died yesterday. I know.
SPEAKER_02This is such sad news between the Buffy reboot being cancelled and with Nicholas Brendan passing. Yeah. Which is a very bad week for Buffy fans everywhere.
SPEAKER_03I mean, the the Buffy like show, I still feel like it's gonna come back, but in like a different way. Like there's something I just don't think this is the end of it.
SPEAKER_02They're gonna screw it up. Like they do. Um, Disney has the rights to it, and in order to keep the rights at one point, I'm not sure how long they have it right now. Uh like when it expires the rights for them, but they'll in order to keep them, renew them essentially, they'll have to do something with Buffy. Otherwise, eventually at one point it can get snacked by anyone. That's why like Sony still keeps Spider-Man and all that. They do something Spider-Man-y, and that keeps him and their entire loop.
SPEAKER_03Well, I think uh even if it expires or whatever, I think I think they're gonna bring the show back in some capacity.
SPEAKER_02Well, I'm hoping somebody does, but at the same time, it really depends on when and who is gonna be part of the project. Um we know it's not gonna be Nicholas Brendan. But well, I don't think he was either.
SPEAKER_03I mean, they could use his twin brother if they really wanted to.
SPEAKER_02If they wanted to. And if he if the actor wanted to as well. He I don't even know if he's really an actor. I I don't think he is. I think he just played in that one episode. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03But he um I mean I don't know. I don't know his backstory. I think Nicholas Brendan, because I would watch his lives as you knew, because I was like showing you one of his lives the other mor the other day, actually. And he did say like his brother was supposed to be a part of Buffy, like originally, but like, and then that fell through.
SPEAKER_02Well maybe the when they found like when they were like, Oh, well, he has a uh identical twin, like maybe we can use this in some way. And they definitely did a different episode, but maybe they meant to use it m in more than one way and they just never did.
SPEAKER_03Well, he also said like the show won't be good unless Jos Whedon is like a part of it in some capacity, even if he's like a ghostwriter or something, like one of those, like well, I mean, yeah, even if you don't like what Joss Whedon did, I mean he was um like uh his tone, like his tone and everything is what made Buffy the way Buffy was.
SPEAKER_02Like you don't have to like him to appreciate that he did a good job and he knew what he was doing with it, so I don't know. Yeah, so I honestly I'm taking Joss Wheaton out of this. I'm not sure how good the new reboot would be, to be honest, but I still was excited in a way because I wanted to see everyone again. Yeah, like I wasn't giving myself high expectations for the plot line um or even the new characters at all, but I was uh I was excited to see some of the old characters come back, and I was excited to see in some capacity just to have a little bit of fun. There's still a chance.
SPEAKER_03There is still a chance out there. There's always a chance when there's money involved. Like the Buffy fandom is so big that they are quite dumb to like Yeah, it's like a actually fairly large like group of us.
SPEAKER_02Well, like I mean, they were saying it was a an executive producer who made this decision who doesn't even like Buffy, who never watched it. Which why would he even be like in the exactly why would he be involved if he had no see it?
SPEAKER_03Is this just a ploy of some part? Is this like I know it's a bad thought and it's probably too extreme, but like Sarah Michelle Geller has a new movie out, and like maybe they wanted all the hubbub of like, oh, it was canceled for like more ticket sales for her movie and to like broadcast it more or something, and then they'll be like, We found like someone and they're gonna like bring the show on after all.
SPEAKER_02I mean, who else is gonna see ready or not to?
SPEAKER_03Um we did watch the first one last night, and I was like, oh, I want to see the second one, so we we'll probably go see it.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I don't I don't know. I don't it could be a ploy for all I know, it could be some kind of gimmick. I don't know. I don't think that would happen because I can't see at the very least Sarah Michelle Gelly, her geller herself making this announcement if she didn't fully believe it was done. Like I can see other like executives making like doing a public announcement. Well, what and without her being involved really, and then she kind of just is like whatever at that point, but I can't really see them all, at least with her agreeing, like you have to go and you have to tell all the fans that we're not doing this just so that we can boost your sales for this. I can't see her doing it.
SPEAKER_03I don't know.
SPEAKER_02Well, maybe I'm putting too much crime in the Sarah Michigan. I don't know the I don't know the woman at all. I'm just saying I don't I think that this is something that if she wasn't the one who announced it, uh and some other exec or whatever they posted it online, they made it like that. I feel like that is more plausible.
SPEAKER_03Well, like I know I saw one podcast that she was on her interview or something that they said, well, like what can the fans do? And she was like, There's really nothing you can do except go see my movie and stream the show. And I'm like, that's because put money in your pocket.
SPEAKER_02Well, I think it's like it's not just to put money in her pocket, it's just to give um the more hype for her as an actor and her content will help producers and other people to like be like, we need more Sarah Mitchell Geller. Like she's just coming back from like a huge hiatus of not acting. And um, I mean she had that one show on um was it Paramount? I can't remember.
SPEAKER_03Yes, she's gonna be a little bit more than a lot of people.
SPEAKER_02But it was a very low like no one it wasn't talked about a lot. And um, so she's I think she just uh it's one of those things like you uh you need everyone to be hyped up for her.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And less to do with the ticket sales as much, but I guess for producers, whatever, if there's more ticket sales for that, that means more money. That means maybe they'll be like, okay, well uh she's bringing in all this m revenue for this movie, so maybe she'll bring in more revenue for this. I don't know. So I don't know. I think well it's like a it you know, whatever.
SPEAKER_03Time will tell. That's what it is at this point. Time will tell.
SPEAKER_02We're very sad about the reboot, and we're very sad about Nicholas Brendan. Rest in peace. He was amazing. I was watching some episodes and doing notes today, and I was just like very sad because I was just like, Yeah, um, I love Xander, he was such a great character, and I mean I didn't know too much about Nicholas Brendan, an actor outside of it, but I and don't do drugs, kids. No.
SPEAKER_03It's can it's no, I mean, unfortunately, he did bring that on to himself. But you know, I also think Hollywood does that to everybody eventually, or most of the unfortunately drugs just are not good. But in California, guys. I think he was living in Ohio. I thought he said the East Coast, but I kept reading that he's like has an Ohio house. So but um is Ohio no, Ohio is not considered East Coast. What are they doing?
SPEAKER_02No, Ohio is like Central America, like maybe closer to the East Coast, like center East? I don't know. It's more center-ish.
SPEAKER_03All right, well, let's jump into this episode. Yeah, I'm not even gonna try.
SPEAKER_02I feel like it's leaning towards the east, but it's not east coast. It's like it's not the coast, obviously. Central East is it's like right past the coast. Like, I don't know. Yeah. We suck. Sorry. We're not even looking at a map right now.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, we probably should have, but whatever. Alright, so I'm gonna start this episode. Um, we're fading in on a pair of shoes and pana cross, and Dawn's laying down on a like waiting room chairs. And then we see um Donna asleep with like her head in Buffy's lap as Buffy strokes her hair. Nice little massage. And Riley sits next to Buffy dozing off. Buffy sighs, and we see a shot of the hospital corridor with various personnel coming and going. Riley wakes up as Giles walks over to them, asking if they need anything. They decline his offer and he looks fidgety and walks off. We discover Willow and Xander sitting nearby, and Willow inquiring about the time. Cut back to Buffy and Riley. Buffy leans her head back and sighs loudly. Riley puts his hand on her knees. She's stressed about how long it's taking, but Riley reassures her that it doesn't mean anything, and he would worry more if her mom was out of surgery quickly. Might mean that they couldn't do much. Um then we see a shot of the hospital corridor, and we see the doctor walking towards us. Dawn wakes up as Buffy slides out from under her and everyone stands up. We zoom in on Buffy nervously waiting for the news with Riley and Dawn behind her, and then the opening credits happen.
SPEAKER_01Thank you.
SPEAKER_03Fade back in on the hospital scene. The doc lets them know Joyce is in recovery, and he was able to visualize the tumor completely, which means he was able to get all of it, and she should be okay. Um, smiles all around, everyone hugs each other. Jowels and Xander, they like start to go hot to hug and then settle for a handshake instead. And Buffy hugs the doc, but he like yells in pain as she forgets her slayer strength, and you can hear it like crunching. And then the doctor puts a hand on his back and gives Buffy like a funny look.
SPEAKER_01Alright. I'm sorry, I was reading this post by n um David Borianas about. Sorry.
SPEAKER_03Which also I was confused about because I thought Nicholas Brendan said like David Borianas wanted nothing to do with that.
SPEAKER_02Well, you can still respect somebody with not wanting to do anything with them. You know what I'm saying? Or like such kind words. You can also appreciate what your history with somebody you can appreciate things about um somebody you don't like.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, you know what I'm saying? I just know a lot of people in the Buffy fandom were like, how fake is this?
SPEAKER_02I was like, eh, well, you know. Well, he knew them. At the very least, he can say something. Um, anyway. Uh, we're cutting into the interior of Xander's basement. Xander, Anya, and Don are eating Chinese food around a low table. Um, they're having a conversation, and Xander asks what she wants to do for fun tonight. Anya suggests life, and Dawn shuts that idea down fast. She does not like life, apparently. It's a good game, okay? Um, Xander suggests a movie. Anya very excitedly wants to see the movie about a chimp playing ice hockey and tries to convince Dawn to pick that one. It's like chimp heat rivalry.
SPEAKER_03How did I know?
SPEAKER_02I shouldn't have even put that in the I was like, she's gonna say something about that show when I Okay, like I'm sorry, my entire personality has been heat rivalry since it came out, okay? Since probably a little bit before that, but um so uh they're talking about the movie. Dawn tells them they don't have to make a big deal about her being there and that she knows she's only there because Buffy and Riley are um boinking. Boink, boink, boinking. Um we pan over to Buffy and Riley dancing in a darkened summer's home. They're having a sweet moment, and Riley's trying to make it special, and then we can just cut to a scene of them having sex. Um outside the bedroom window, we see Spike standing there. Sorry, this is just a weird time for Spike. He's just standing there on the ground smoking a cigarette, looking up at the window, and he's sighing because I imagine with his hearing, he can hear things that are happening in that room. We get over to the bedroom, Buffy's asleep, Riley watches her for a moment, then gets out of bed, and um, we see this partially healed cut on his upper chest with a small bandage on his arm. Um, Spike outside is putting out his cigarette and turning to leave when he hears the front door open and sees Riley come out. Riley doesn't see him. Um, he walks off. Spike decides to follow. Um he goes into a dark alley and we see Spike still following, and he walks up to an old warehouse and um goes in with Spike watching, frowning. Um now we're at the outside the hospital and sorry, it cuts to like an exterior of the hospital, and then we go into the hospital into Joyce's room. Um Joyce has a hand uh mirror and is looking at her reflection. There is a large bandage on her head. We see Buffy holding um a wig. She says that she's gonna s uh stick with a scarf, but Buffy tries to convince her to use the wig. Joyce tells her that she should uh be enjoying her life instead of being there trying to style her hair. And Buffy reassures her that she's doing just fine with school and Riley.
SPEAKER_03Then we cut to what looks like a hotel room. The uh Commando is sitting on a sofa fiddling with some high-tech equipment and he has headphones on. Um Graham walks over to a table where Major Ellis has some maps spread out. They talk about a job and believe that they need to head to, and Graham tells them they need to bring Riley on board, but it would need some convincing. The Major asks, What is so special in Sunnydale? Cut to Buffy in bed asleep and alone. We hear the door open, and Buffy wakes up halfway and says, Riley, are you distracted today? What are you doing?
SPEAKER_02Sorry. Uh go ahead, continue.
SPEAKER_03Oh my god. Anyway, we're rudely interrupted. We see Spike standing by the door. Buffy wakes up fully, sits up holding the sheet to her chest. She throws him a threat for being there, but he tells her he wouldn't be there if he didn't have a good reason. Yeah, right. He also asks if she's naked under the sheet. She tells him to get out, and he tells her he has something to show her. Buffy raises her eyebrows to indicate that she can't get dressed with Spike watching. He scoffs and says he doesn't have or he doesn't give a bloody damn. He turns his back and then makes like an agonized face, forcing himself not to look as uh she gets dressed. Then we cut to Spike leading Buffy through the alley up the stairs to the warehouse. She looks confused, and uh Spike opens the door for her. They go in, there's like a bunch of people being sucked on by vampires. And there's like trash and old bathtubs. It's dirty. Um Buffy stares at it all in dismay, and we see two large male vampires overseeing things. One of them is putting some money into his vest, and Buffy looks around with a frown, um, and then looks at Spike and he nods towards some rickety-looking stairs. They uh go towards the stairs and go up them, and but then uh like one vampire grabs Spike and asks what he's doing there, and Spike is telling him we're just having a look. Um, but the vamp tries stopping him, and Spike grabs him by the throat and shoves him to the floor and tells him to keep it down. Buffy watches all this from halfway up the stairs, and then Spike turns, adjusts his jacket, and they go up. The second level is just as messy as the first. Spike leads Buffy through the mess to a slightly open door, and she looks suspicious suspiciously at him, and then goes through the door and discovers Riley sitting bare chested on a mattress on the floor with a female vamp sitting on his lap, drinking from his arm. He doesn't see Buffy yet, and he tells the vamp harder. It's so weird. Just this all of this is weird to me. The vamp continues sucking and Buffy gasps, and Riley looks up and sees her, and then we just see a close-up of her looking in horror. And then it cuts to commercial, and then we fade back in on the same scene. The vamp continues to feed from him, and Riley looks at Buffy and gulps, and Buffy stares at him, backs away and runs out while he calls out to her. Spike smirks and sarcastically tells him they are only there because they care about him. And then we cut to Buffy hurrying down the stairs, and Vamp number two hands something to Vamp number one and moves to intercept Buffy. He steps in front of her, but she gives him a shove and he flies backward, hitting the wall as she runs out. Spike comes down the stairs a few steps behind, and Vamp Two growls as Spike passes him. Cuts a Buffy exiting the warehouse, pausing at the bottom of the stairs looking shell-shocked. Spike bursts out, passes her and ta turns back and tells her, I thought you should know. And Buffy lifts her head and gives him a fierce look, and he just looks startled, and then she runs past him and away down the alley, and he just looks disappointed.
SPEAKER_02Uh we cut inside the warehouse. Riley comes rushing down, buttoning up his shirt. Um, another vampire intercepts him, grabbing his shirt, asking why he would bring the slayer there. He told him he didn't know and to back off. Uh the vampire punches Riley in the stomach, and vampi and Riley punches him in the face when he goes down. Um Riley runs out as the another vampire helps that one up. Uh in Buffy's room, she enters, closes the door, and leans against it, frowning, still shocked. With Riley, he's entering his own apartment, which is dark. Um, because I guess he didn't want to actually pay the electricity bill. Well, no, well to go to Buffy.
SPEAKER_03I'm like, why wouldn't he go to Buffy at this point? Like, what's he I I guess he had to think about like, what am I gonna say now? 'Cause like that looked really bad.
SPEAKER_02He had plenty of time to to think about it the entire time he was doing this more than once. I guess it's it's
SPEAKER_03Definitely like very close to like sticking a needle in your arm.
SPEAKER_02And I think that was like supposed to be like the metaphor or something like that for it. I don't know. Um I the I think the only thing I don't like about this episode is that how rushed it is from this moment to when he leaves. Um because like Buffy has, I mean, like Buffy should be mad and she should be angry with him. But because of the timing, she has to be the one who has to run after him. Yeah, well we'll cover that at the end. Well I know, but I'm just saying, I'm just like, this is like a weird Yeah. Like this is kind of all rushed in one. I kind of wish not that I wanted more episodes of Riley, but I kinda wish it was more fleshed out into a couple episodes. So that it would like emotionally it would be better. And kind of like, I don't know. I feel it would have been better if if they I'm fine with a clean break. If they well if they wanted if they wanted fans to not absolutely hate Riley by the end of this, which I maybe their whole point was to hate Riley. I don't know. They should have flushed it out a little bit more, I seem to say um, but he's in his apartment, um, he moves inside, turns the lamp on, and we see Graham and Major Ellis, because apparently Graham's just everywhere. Um Riley doesn't turn around but does tell them to get out. Uh Graham convinces Riley to listen to what the Major has to say. Um there's a demon tribe that is taking apart missionaries and a rainforest and Belize, and they want Riley to join them. Uh Riley tells him to quit the government. Or he quit the government. Or he quit the government, but the major tells him that they aren't the government, they are the army. Which is the same thing, whatever. Uh they do they don't do experiments, they just um want to stop monsters. They leave tomorrow night, and if he wants to join, um he can come. We cut over to the magic shop. Uh it's daytime now. Giles is hanging up a large banner that reads, Don't forget, winter solstice, Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanzaa, and something is cured by Giles' arm. Are coming. We see Xander, Anya, Willow, uh behind the counter unpacking merch. Um he steps down from his footstool, and we see that the last holiday listed is um Grnathar's Grunathar's Ascendants. Never heard of it. I'm guessing maybe it's a demons thing.
SPEAKER_03Maybe.
SPEAKER_02Anya takes the jar out of the box. Willow uh moves out from behind the counter, and Anya shouts out that there's something about um who ordered more chicken feet. They have so many as it is, uh, but thinks they can do a holiday promotion. Giles is like, oh yeah. Dear holiday memories. Uh Mary uh Tikes by the fire are enjoying their new Christmas chicken feet. Willow comes up besides Giles and um on the opposite side of the counter from Anya. And is like, oh, holding them tight as they fall asleep, painting their little toenails. Willow and Giles laugh. Xander grins. Anya grins too, uh, but she's not amused. She makes a remark about Willow disliking her. And this is the start of the Willow Anya banter. I mean, that they haven't had it before, but they really push it up this episode to really promote next episode. Yeah. Um, Willow reassures her that's not the case, and Anya says there's nothing wrong with her idea, and she had um that she's been good for the store. And if it wasn't for her, Giles would have be a terrified old man starting uh staring at a quarterly tax statement and wedding himself. There's some more back and forth bakering, and um Xander gets put in the middle of it.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, poor Xander again.
SPEAKER_02This is like the whole plot line of the next episode. Yeah. Um, but it's funny. They all look and you want to watch it rather than this episode. Um They all look up as uh the door opens, uh Buffy enters, and um she has a bag over her shoulder. She strides purposely over to the counter and insists on finding out about a nest a vamp nest downtown. She says there are people paying vamps to bite them, and Anya mentions that that's been going on for centuries for humans to get a rush. Giles mentions it can be dangerous as some end up dying accidentally. Buffy angrily asks him if he knew about this and didn't tell her, but he tells her that he hasn't um since his Ripper days.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, like I'm curious, does that mean Giles was like into it?
SPEAKER_02And like he was into some weird shit back then, I guess.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I want to know more about that. That's why I wanted the Ripper show.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, we wanted the Ripper show. Um, I would still do a ripper show right now. If they cast it.
SPEAKER_03Seriously, they need to tap more into the buffy more.
SPEAKER_02There is there's like an entire realm they could be doing right now. Yeah, for real. Instead, they're picking Star Trek. Like, no, who cares about Star Trek? I would love a Ripper episode, a ripper show. And there's one episode where a young Joyce has just visited England for like a day.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. I also, while we're putting requests out, I want an animated Buffy show as well.
SPEAKER_02That was really like that. It depends on how it's animated.
SPEAKER_03How they had it designed before, like that would be fine. I'd be into that.
SPEAKER_02I I'm very like picky when it comes to animated stuff. I don't like everything animated. So I'm like, I don't know. It depends. I could get into it. I'm not an anime person.
SPEAKER_03If it's anime, I'll just like I could get into like a Bob's burger look too. Like a total with they just have like round eyeballs and like no lips. Simpsons where everyone's yellow except for the. But definitely Bob's burgers. Like you could make it happen. I could definitely see them all. I could probably make it an AI.
SPEAKER_02Um, I want a bluey rendition of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, um, but maybe that's just me. Um, they're all dogs, but they fight vampires. I would watch that so hard. And then like the the theme song would be Buffy. Oh my god. Xander Willow. I don't know. Uh and Giles. Shh. Okay. So Buffy tells him it's happening in Sunnydale and she's gonna stop it. She turns towards a large trunk, opens it, and reveals her stash of weapons. She's very determined and won't let anyone stop her. She tells him that they can back her up or not, but she's going. She stalks out. Giles looks conflicted, but he and Xander begin to collect their things. Anya is overjoyed by having the storage herself.
SPEAKER_03Oh, so sorry. I was making a Bob's burger. Were you distracted? I hope. Were you distracted? I was trying to make an AI Bob's burger buffer. Now I don't know. Alright. So we cut inside the warehouse. No, we can put it on our Instagram.
SPEAKER_02Oh my god.
SPEAKER_03Um cut to inside the warehouse. Buffy and Giles are coming down the interior stairs. The place is empty. Willow and Xander are on the main floor, and there's like a small grill with a fire burning in it, um, for some reason. And Buffy inquires if they will set up somewhere else, but Giles isn't sure. Buffy does her angry expression again. She grabs the grill and throws it against a wall. The fire begins to spread, and Buffy stalks out as the others stare at her. Willow follows in her footsteps, and Xander and Giles follow more closely, looking concerned. Cuts Spike sitting in his armchair in his crypt, holding a bottle of alcohol. He pulls out the cork and lifts the bottle to take a swig. The door bursts open and Riley enters. You know, a Spike's door gets burst open a lot. Like all the time. They just kick into his door.
SPEAKER_02Shouldn't be much of a door. He can redo it every time, like Xander does in season seven in the entire Buffy house and it gets destroyed in two days.
SPEAKER_03A uh one of those locks on his door like Jen has.
SPEAKER_02I guess.
SPEAKER_03So Riley uh grabs Spike by the shirt and pulls him up out of the chair. Spike tells him to be reasonable, but Riley slams him up against a pillar and punches him. He pulls back his arm and we see there's a stake in his hand, and he plunges it into Spike's chest. And Spike gasps. Commercial. And then we fade back in on Riley holding the stake in his chest. Spike is just yelling in pain and looks down at his chest as he realizes he hasn't been dusted yet. Riley yanks the stake out, and Spike grabs his chest in pain and stares at the steak. Riley tells him it's a plasti it's plastic wood grain and to stay away from Buffy or he will use a real one next time.
SPEAKER_02I'm surprised he just didn't use an actual steak.
SPEAKER_03I'm just I guess he can't really kill Spike.
SPEAKER_02This is a plot device because I feel like if there wasn't like writers writing this and this was real life, not that it is, but if it was real life, Riley would have just killed him. I'm surprised.
SPEAKER_03Maybe but also Spike is kind of like making his way in the group. They would probably be really like weirded out that Riley did that.
SPEAKER_02I but I don't think they would be that upset. At this time, they're still not friends or anything. They would be uh at most upset that he killed someone who can't hurt anybody. That's like at most.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02They would get over it really fast because again, Spike's not that close to the group. He's just kind of there and he's useful occasionally.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Well anyway.
SPEAKER_02I don't know. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03So where was I? Uh he pats him. He makes a steak out. No, yeah. It's fake. He tells him to stay away from Buffy. Um, he pats Spike on the cheek and walks away. Spike's leaning against the pillar, and and then he just like starts to chuckle, and Riley turns back. And Spike points out, it doesn't matter that he's hot for his honey. Riley is never going to be able to hold on to her either. Um, Riley puts his hand over Spike's hand that is covering the wound, and he pushes his hand deeper into it, and Spike screams. Ugh, Spike. He just keeps on going. He tells him he's not the long haul guy, or he wouldn't be getting suck jobs from the vamps. Ew. Riley looks annoyed, lets go of Spike, and then Spike continues panting and telling him Buffy needs some monster in her man. Mm-hmm. Spike sits back with an expression of pain and Riley paces around restlessly. Spike reaches for his bottle and begins to remove the cork again. And Riley asks him if he actually thinks Spike has a chance with her, but Spike says he doesn't, but he still has to try. Um just oh did I I must have I must have uh cut off some of stuff here, but they start drinking together essentially. I think I accidentally deleted that.
SPEAKER_02It's like a little moment.
SPEAKER_03It's a moment that they have.
SPEAKER_02Um the only moment they have.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. We cut to Buffy in her workout room, beating on a punching bag. She grunts angrily and scowls as she punches over and over, and we cut to the main room of the magic shop, and Anya is going over paperwork behind the counter. Xander stands on the other side of the counter looking toward the back room and asks how long she's been in there, and Anya tells him it's been a while. We see Riley come in and he like asks if she's back there, and Xander tells him she's training, and Riley asks if they can clear out for a bit as he needs a minute alone with her. Xander nods and gets his stuff, and Anya mentions some hanky panky in the training room and something about the vaulting horse, but Xander cuts her off and they start walking out, but Xander says he has some stuff he has to take care of and just walks off and leaving her there. I'm like, that's weird. Um, cut to Buffy, still punching. Riley walks in behind her and says they need to talk. She responds with she's not ready to talk yet, but Riley takes hold of the punching bag and Buffy stops punching. They have this big heated argument where she wants to know how long he's been lying to her. He says he wanted to get even after she let Dracula bite her, and she gets defensive about that. And he says the vampires made him feel she should, I'm sorry. Yeah. And then he says the vampires made him feel something, and she's disgusted by that and tries to leave, but he continues on that the basic level they needed his body, his blood, and essentially he doesn't get that craving or desire from Buffy, as in like she does not really desire him. Um, and he's like in complete love with her, and she just keeps a distance from him. And he wants more from her, but doesn't think she can give it. And he tells her the army wants him back and they are leaving tonight. He kind of gives her an ultimatum that if they can't work it out, he's leaving. And she's pissed about that and tries to leave, but he tries to keep her there, and for some reason he tells her to hit him multiple times, and he walks right up to her. She walks around him and takes her jacket off a hook, and he tells her he's leaving tonight unless she gives him a reason to stay. She opens the door and walks out, closing it behind her, and he looks upset.
SPEAKER_02We cut to um Buffy w uh walking through the dark alleys. Uh there's a vampire. There's a couple of vampires appearing behind her. Um Buffy slows and stops and turns to face him. The vampire tells her that the pyro act was a bad idea. More vampires appear surrounding her. Overhead shot of her looking um as they form a loose circle around her. There's about ten of them. Um Buffy um looks at them, tells them to walk away. Vampire uh it can say anyway, there's one of the vampires lunges at her and she shoves him. He flies backwards into some large tubes. Um tubs? Tubes? I don't You you worded it as tubes, but I feel like maybe it's tubes. I don't know. Some kind of construction thingy, I think. The other vampires attack. I already lost. There's a good fight scene here. Um actually really good. I actually at least I always think about this fight scene. Because I think that's um if you if you don't know how how much she's grown fighting wise, this is a good scene. I mean compared to like how she fought before. Oh yeah, for sure. She does a really good job in the scene. Um And then uh she turns and puts a staff to the throat of the last vampire after she dusts all the rest of them. It's the woman who was biting Viley. Um when she realizes who she is, um she lowers the staff. The vampire looks surprised and but then turns and look uh begins to run away. Buffy stands there looking thoughtful and after a moment lifts the staff and throws it like a javelin. It flies down the alley and dusts a vampire as she is running. Buffy stands there staring in the alley, someone comes up behind her, it's Anna, asking um how that worked out for her. She star she turns to see him and she doesn't look happy that he's there. Tells him to go home. She turns to start to stride away, but he calls out to her. She tells him angrily that she is serious. He tells her that he knows something is up, she's acting like a crazy person. And why is Brittany texting you? You have to open it right next to me? I okay. I'm like trying to do these notes, but okay. Sorry. Um It's Buffy Burker's Buffy. And it's all the characters. I mean, not gonna lie, I would watch this show.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, 100%, especially if it's like humorous.
SPEAKER_02If it's like adult humor, 100% I would watch this show.
SPEAKER_03We have to get on the phone with Hollywood. How do we make that happen? How do we make a buffy have an idea?
SPEAKER_02The eyes are getting me, man. I'm sorry. Oh my god, Angel's forehead.
unknownI'm sorry.
SPEAKER_02This is great. Okay. Um we'll save that for later. Um let's go ahead and continue this lovely episode. Um, but Xander's following Buffy. Um uh he she goes into this random building and he answers after her. Uh there's outside of the warehouse, we see boxes and metal cans are stacked neatly on shelf metal shelving. Buffy walks over to the set of shelves um and leans her face against it. Why are you sending me more things?
SPEAKER_03Don't worry about it.
SPEAKER_02Okay. Like, can I continue? Um, Buffy walks over to the shelves. Um, Xander walks in behind her. He talks to her about how how she's hiding what's going on, but he already knows it's about Riley. She bursts out about him and the vampires and how he lied to her. He asks if uh if she's gonna let him go because in 20 minutes he's gone forever. Xander gives her a speech about how Riley was just a convenience to her, a rebound guy after Angel. Um, but Riley is the one that came along once in a lifetime. Um he risked everything for her and she's about to let him go because she doesn't like ultimatums. I kinda like I'm very mixed about this point of view, because I'm like, on the one hand, I'm like I get where Xander's coming from, but at the same time, I'm like, I think Raleigh did something bad. I don't know. This is where I was like in the confusion. Like, if there wasn't a time limit, there would have been better resolved to this. I don't know. I don't know.
SPEAKER_03Because I'm like, it wasn't it was very adulty of him, this conversation. It was.
SPEAKER_02I mean, I didn't I didn't hate his speech. I was conflicted because I honestly don't think that she has a right to be angry with him. I don't know, it's just weird. Weird timing. Yeah. Though to be fair, if Riley is just gonna up and leave after this big fight, then maybe he should go. I know. It's kind of giving up too easily. I'm like, Riley doesn't even try to fight for Buffy in this instance. So I mean I kinda wish he also did the same speech to Riley. Yeah. Um, because technically, honestly, if he did this speech would be perfect if he was doing this to Riley and not to Buffy. And a lot of people I know don't like this scene because they're like, why like I I think because they don't like the fact that he's like trying to like support Riley in this situation, which I get, but I also think that he really truly thinks that Riley's good for her and she should not just give up on him.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, he's the white bred relationship. Yeah, he's a Alright, let's finish.
SPEAKER_02Hey, you're the one texting me every two seconds. Um so anyway, there's a speech. Buffy starts to tear up, and um his words get through to her. Um he says that he's not that guy, then let them uh if Riley is not the guy, to let him go and make it a clean break. But um if she can love him in the messy, scary way, then she needs to think about what she's about to lose. She looks up to him and then looks around anxiously. Um he tells her to run. Did we get to a scene where she knows that Riley's leaving? Did we even get that or I mean I thought Yeah. Uh maybe I just like missed that. Um I was like, didn't he like I don't know, I thought I missed the scene. Um she runs down the main street, Sunnydale. It's this whole running scene trying to get to uh Riley. There's cuts to Riley looking for uh like you know, longingly while he's standing outside this helicopter. Um and then he looks very disappointed when Buffy's not there. Uh the helicopter's running and Buffy runs through the through the streets and Buffy's. There's a lot of running. Yeah, it's basically Riley just staring off into space and Buffy running. Hoping she's gonna come. Yeah, exactly. Oh my god, I'm stop sending me text messages with these pictures. I can't look at them yet. Um Buffy runs uh it's a lot of running. Anyway, she finally gets there, but Riley has decided he's not waiting any longer and he gets on the helicopter. He is the helicopter is moving up and leaving just as Buffy gets there. And of course, the helicopter is so loud that he can't hear her yells and screams for him.
SPEAKER_03And it's and he can't even be bothered to look out. He can't even look at it. Nobody who's like piloting his look around him.
SPEAKER_02He can't like you know, like glance down in his preferable vision at all. Yeah. Anyway, the helicopter leaves, taking Riley with him. Um, and I think a lot of people cheered at this point. I'm joking. Uh Buffy walking slowly down the residential streets, looking all sad and disappointed. In Anya's apartment, Anya's in her nightgown, sitting on the bed. Xander says that he has to say something. Anya stands up and Xander walks towards her and says he's in love with her, tells her um just tells her he loves her, and then they're up close now, looking at each other. Anya smiles, looking a little teary. It's a very cute moment, and they kiss. Essentially Xander's utilizing the fact that, you know basically you Using his own words, saying, like, you know, you should say what you need to say. And so he's doing it for himself and his own relationship, which I think is good. Good gross.
SPEAKER_03Grown-up moment with him.
SPEAKER_02Um, then we see Buffy entering the Dark Summer's house, uh Dark Summer's house. Um, she's part way up the stairs and sits down looking sad. Um, and we also see Riley in his helicopter looking down below finally. She finally looked down. Yeah. She finally looked down. Buffy's gone. Oh my gosh. End of Riley. Uh yeah. Um, so out of all the breakups, how do we rank this? Um which I mean to be fair, there's only like two big ones. It was a quick one. A weird Parker move there in the middle there. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03But um it I think it was a long time coming.
SPEAKER_02Though to be fair, she handled this so much better than with Parker, who I was really.
SPEAKER_03She really did. That's why I'm like, Alexandra has a point that she was treating him like the rebound guy, like the whole time.
SPEAKER_02I fully agree that Buffy was not fully invested in this relationship. You could tell, especially the latter half, maybe the latter half of season four to like beginning of season five. She's really checking out.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Um it doesn't excuse what he did at all.
SPEAKER_03No.
SPEAKER_02And it doesn't excuse the fact that he didn't even try to fight for her. He immediately was like, you know what, I'm just gonna leave. This is a typical 19-year-old relationship. This is like a weird, I don't know. This is like it's always an ultimatum. This is a very 90s move, I think. Leave using an ultimatum to make a decision, which is another reason why not to pick Riley, because I mean, why would you leave an ultimatum like that? It makes no sense.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. So but that was that was that. Yeah. Would you how cheesy would you rate this? Cheesy wise? I don't think it was super cheesy though. I guess it's six. I would say five. I'm okay with a five too. I it it's cheesy. I guess it's just kind of have some stupidity in it with like it's cringy. I think cringy is more if we could cringe level this, it would be like an 8.5 with the vampires and stuff.
SPEAKER_02So um, yeah. Um, goodbye, Riley. You will not be missed. Um, I I like I think several rewatches, I don't hate him as much as I used to. Um and you could definitely tell he was written in a way later on where they changed his character a bit. Because his personality in in like season four wouldn't have done what he did in season five. Yeah. And it it does remind me, I think I said this before, it reminds me of how the writers in Gilmar girls completely rewrote how Dean was written. Like his character was one way, and they changed his character in order to bring Jess in and to make that storyline fit and to make you want Jess over Dean. They completely changed Dean's character to fit this narrative. And I'm like, I kind of felt not as to an extent, but I kind of felt that way with Riley a bit, where they somewhat changed his motivations um from season four to season five, and that's probably what killed him the most, but probably not to say that he was exciting as a boyfriend in season four, but I thought he was nice.
SPEAKER_03He was the golden retriever boyfriend. He was, which isn't bad. It's not bad. Honestly, like if I, you know, was a normal person and like gonna date men, I probably would end up with someone like Riley because he probably would be a good dad and a good husband.
SPEAKER_02He's probably very stable.
SPEAKER_03I don't need a monster in my man or woman.
SPEAKER_02So he's stable until he finds out you had a very bad boy ex, and then he will start trying to be a bad boy.
SPEAKER_03Part of me thinks he just didn't like because it was a vampire, and that weirded him out. Like, if Amanda dated a vampire, I'd be like, that is super weird, and I don't like that.
SPEAKER_02This came out of like so left. I don't know. This is what weirded me out. I'm like, I don't know why he really latched on to the fact that her ex was a vampire so much.
SPEAKER_03Because she's a vampire slayer.
SPEAKER_02No, but I mean you can be confused, but he made it to the point where it was his weird person. I don't know, it was weird. Like it was a really weird fixation. It was it's one thing to be confused and a little startled when you hear about it, but he fixes Aedon, even though he knows that they're no longer together and they're not gonna get together. Well, he also knows his whole story about how they can't get together unless they want Angel to turn evil. So it's like, I'm not sure what he's worried about. I don't know, but we don't have to worry about it anymore because he's gone. He's low-key worried about Spike. That's what Spike's like coming up like I'm a creeper, but you'll soon like me.
SPEAKER_03All right. Well, I think we've said everything we need to on this one. Maybe more than we probably needed to. We need a clean break from Riley and this episode.
SPEAKER_02Um, we will all see you next time. All right. Bye. Bye.