6 - The Cover of a Book

A book has many chapters, and so does everybody you meet.  Don't judge them based on their appearance alone, you may be surprised by the stories you’ll hear.

Transcript

  Marcus Aurelius once said everything we hear. Is an opinion. Not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective. Not the truth. Today, we're going to talk about judging a book by its cover. 

   Hey everyone. Welcome back to the Eye-ler perspective. This is episode six. We're really excited to talk with you all today. We're going to share some funny stories and hopefully something that can change your perspective.   Yeah, like Tyler said, we're going to get into this topic and it's something that I'm excited about. Cause we got a lot of fun stories to say about it. And I think it's a, I think it's going to be good for this week. So.  Yeah. So I'll kick it off. Basically, as we mentioned in the intro, we're talking about. Judging a book by its cover. And wanted to start with something funny, at least in my opinion was funny. So in south America. In Chile, particularly where I was, it's not common to find people who are American. And speaking in English to everybody, depending on the part. 

Right. And especially in the part where I was, it wasn't common for the locals to see Americans aside from missionaries. But one day there was a group of four missionaries of us. We were on a, a bus. Going wherever we were going. And we're just talking to each other in English. We'd been speaking to Spanish all day and you know, sometimes it's nice to be able to relax. 

And I believe there was a new missionary with us. Who didn't know a ton of Spanish. And so just to keep him in the loop and not out of things, we were all speaking in English together. Right. And.  

As we're talking this, these two girls get on to the bus. And it's kind of weird because we're standing there and in a small circle, a us missionaries in a sense, and these girls kept peeking on over into our circle.  And nobody else notices because they were in their conversation. But being raised by a police officer, I was always aware of what was happening around me. 

And so I noticed these girls like looking over us and then I also was hearing their conversation. And they were trying, talking to each other, trying to figure out what our names were. They were looking at our name tags. And the one says to the other, oh, there. Their name's elder. Wait, they're all named elder. 

What? The they're all named builder. And I'm just laughing because this is just funny to me, but then their conversation progressed, Kylie. 

Their conversation. Progress's. Talking about how they liked white boys. Oh, really?  

And as this conversation progresses. It doesn't just go from how they liked white boys. It went into what they wanted to do sexually to white boys. And that conversation got so. Dirty. Oh boy. As a missionary, I'm like, oh my gosh, I. I feel violated right now. Just having heard this conversation. And I need to stop the conversation. And the only way.  The only way I knew how to stop it. Was to talk to.  

Both poor girls. So. They're like looking again and trying to read my last name. Right. And they couldn't pronounce it. And so I just turned it, I said,  In Spanish, it's elder Zeman. And like what. I'm like, yeah. My name is elders Lehman. Neiman  and they pause and look at each other. And then the fear in their eyes was just palpable. 

It was hilarious. And then they said back to me,  Do you speak Spanish? And as like, yes.  I speak perfect Spanish. In fact, all of us do. And they immediately start saying, oh my gosh, I am so sorry. I'm so sorry for what we said about you guys. So, sorry. I'm so sorry. And I said, no worries. You want to learn about Jesus Christ? 

Oh my gosh. What a crazy story. Yeah. You know, I've never thought about that in other con. I have thought about that in other countries, but you know, it's one of those jokes that we make here. That if you live in Utah, most likely every white guy, you see probably know some other foreign language. So never, just like. Completely dismiss it. 

I mean, there's a lot of guys that I work at have worked with or do work with. That have very.  Unique cultural names from different cultures, but don't know any of those languages. But then you see the guys that, you know, get sunburned by the moon. That speak perfect Spanish. So that's, that's a really good story about judging a book by its cover.  I really enjoy this topic because as a police officer, and like you said, growing up with a police officer, dad, You become very astute to your surroundings. 

You're very attentive and. I really enjoy reading people. I there's a job that I work on the side. Where I do criminal extraditions and I get to travel all over the nation. I'm in a lot of airports. And I just love people watching. Like there's only so much scrolling you can do on your phone. There's so much reading of a book that you can do, but I just love watching people. And trying to see if I can. Guess things that maybe they do in their lives and I might be right and I might be totally wrong. 

Yeah. But I really enjoy it. And I had this experience once where I was the cop thing, people watching, because my dad would always, when we'd go to Walmart or anywhere he would stay in the car, but make sure we parked in the front so he could watch the door, just watch people. Oh, I wouldn't necessarily just call it a cop thing, but I'd say it's just, it's just like a psychological thing. 

Like you would, I think  at the base of human nature, Especially men were suited to be more like the hunter type. And so they have like this psychological response of like sizing people up. And seeing if they're a threat or not a threat, if they're going to be a part of your tribe or not, and things like that. 

So I think it's, I think it comes down to human nature, but not going to sound like Dexter. Oh boy.  You're talking about the TV show, right? Oh, geez.  Yeah, no, I'm not, I'm not a murderer. For a cycle path. So yeah.  Matty about that heavy, rubber aprons or, but bunch of No, nothing like that. But. It's fun because you get to see people and kind of like a lot of people. Dress on the outside the way they think and feel on the inside and especially traveling. 

It's something that I've noticed. It's really strange is a lot of people will wear things from where they're from. Hmm. So they'll wear like an LA Dodgers hat. Yeah. Or. Like a Florida t-shirt or something like that.  Salt lake city, Utah. Exactly. And so you're sitting there like, man, this is really like, this is telling, you're telling a lot about yourself just in the way you dress or the way you act or how you, how you walk around and. And that's, that's something you really, you can try to manipulate. But it's some hard to do. 

And so I was in this airport in North Carolina. This is probably like,  

Five or six years ago. And I was people watching. And when I, if you know me, if you know what I look like behind, just my voice, since our podcasters might not know yet. Is, I love my tattoos. I have a lot of tattoos, but when I work and I'm in uniform, you don't see any of them. I cover them all up. Mostly just to, to differentiate. My police personal look. And my off duty look because I don't like people to sit there and go all. 

Yeah, that guy's a cop. Yeah. Like, I don't want them to sit there and be like that. Dude's definitely a cop because all cops have the same look and that's that look. I really enjoy to try to manipulate my appearance so that people are like, there's no way that dudes a cop. Well, you told me that story where you were buying a disc at the discount shop and the guy was starting to batch cops and you were. Yeah. 

Yeah. Those guys.  That's exactly. Yeah. That's exactly it. And I'm glad you brought up disc golf because it's getting into disc golf weather. And you used to think that disc golf was for nerds, but now you've learned better than that. Yeah. I had a really gnarly person.  Of disc golfing and you guys listening might think it as well, but yeah, I used to think disc golf was just such a lame sport and it was only for stoners and, or like extreme nerds. And I gave it a shot because Kyler is my buddy and he wanted some.  I'm not a stoner.  Yeah, not a stoner. 

You can't be as a cop. No. So I went and it was actually a lot of fun. There is still a ton of stoners. But it is still a very fun, fun activity. I don't even know if I can call it a sport. I think it also helped well there's professionals. That's my sport, but I think it also helped that we both threw javelin too. 

So it's a lot of fun to just get into that, but yeah, you're right. That guy at the disc golf store.  Did not think I was a cop and he bashed cops pretty hard. And I was so glad that I didn't have my, you know, anything with me that made me look like a cop. And I was like, oh yeah, dude, they're the worst.  It's such a good story.  Going back to  my situation in the airport. When I travel, I like to wear shorts a lot of times, cause it shows off all my leg tattoos and I'm sitting in the airport. 

I'm not, I'm not really talking with anyone. I'm just by myself. I traveled to see my brother for his birthday.  And I'm sitting out there and I'm just watching people as they come by. And there's the sweetest Southern old lady comes and sits by me. And she in her great Southern hospitality and that awesome accent just strikes up a conversation with me. And she's just like, well, you know, w w what are you doing here? What's going on. 

I was like just people watching and she's like, I love that. Can I do that with you?  And I was like, yeah, yeah, sure. I mean, be my guest. And so then we sat there and we just had this really good banter where we would say like what we think people did, or like kind of different things that we got from just reading their body language as they walked by and she would laugh and she's like, oh, you're spot on. 

And then she would do the ones that I'm like, yeah, that's totally it. And then finally she got to the point where she was just like,  Hey, you know, I got to ask you like, What do you do? Like we do for work. And I looked at her straight face and I go. I'm a cop.  And she looked me up and down and she goes, I never would have guessed that. 

She's like, I thought you would have come out of prison.  She totally thought that I was like some convict or someone that had been on the wrong side of the law. And I know that she was a little bit older, so that might've been like the cultural thing back in her day. That the only people that had tattoos or prisoners or gangsters or something like that. Yeah.  It was just such a funny story, but I really, I really love. Giving off the perspective that people.  Almost don't want to be around me. 

Like that's one of the reasons I started getting tattoos other than they were very meaningful to me. Was the fact that I didn't want to attract inauthentic people or people that wanted to put masks on and be fake. I wanted the people that were going to come and get to know me who really wanted to know the person behind everything, like peel back the layers. 

And who's really there. And tattoos for me, it was like a quick way of differentiating who wanted to actually be my friend and who saw me and just wrote me off. And I was like, yeah, that guy is not, I got to talk to. Yeah.  Since we got into this, I wasn't gonna talk about this at all, but you, you talking about tattoos just really brought us the memory. 

So. Yeah, I mean, we, we were raised in an environment you tower it's like, you don't get tattoos because that is a temple. And if you do, you're marking yourself. As Satan, like follower.  Well, I was sitting in a, in a church meeting. And again, I didn't want to talk about church to this episode, but it just, I feel like it's relevant. So we're sitting in church. 

I actually have one of my converts with me. This is in Utah, though. He had moved here with his wife. And we're in church and keep in mind, this convert had a ton of tattoos. And in fact, one of the things that he, when I baptized him, He, what he told to me is he's like,  Obviously after he gets dumped in all white, he comes up out of the water. 

You can see he's covered in tattoos. And so one of the thing is I dumped him and he come up. He's one of the things I didn't tell you is I have all these tattoos and I was like,  It doesn't matter. Yeah, like you're, you're forgiving. You're fine. It doesn't matter if you have tattoos. I don't care. That doesn't care. Yeah, he loves you unconditionally and, and whatever, right. So I'm in church with this guy here in Utah. And a stake presidency members giving a talk.  About when he was in Hawaii. And they asked a member to give a talk to the youth.  But he asked that member to cover up the hand tattoo that he had because he wanted him to be a better example for the youth.  



Well, it comes to, he says, no problem. 

He goes to the ceremony.  And when he shows up. He has a big bandage on his hand and he says, well, that's, that's a little bit like, you don't need to do it as like, well, they showed him. He had cut the tattoo off of his hand? No, because he was told by his leadership to cover it up, being a better example. 

And he said that he wanted to be a hundred percent obedient and follow Christ. Perfectly. And so he cut off. The tattoo from his hand. Oh, man.  That's such a powerful story. That's pure that's purity right there. That is somebody who wants to be faithful and obedient, but. Again, it goes down to you. Can't judge the. The book by its cover the tattoos. 

Right. Just because that man had tattooed didn't mean that he wasn't a good example. To the youth. In fact, he probably was one of the better examples, not because he cut his tattoo off. Right. Like, I don't condone that. In fact, that was one of the chips to my faith crisis. Especially sitting next to my conver member who was covered in tattoos. 

Like. All right, bro. You don't cut your body off yet.  

But you never know what the person really is like, just because they're covered in tattoos and looked like they might be coming out of prison. Like Tyler just said, he looks like. He's a giant Teddy bear and he cries all the time. All the time. He's a big boop. I'm so freaking emotional. It's funny. Yeah. It's because I it's. 

Cause I.  I take the whole saying like, you know, charity never fail it to heart. Like I really want to know people for who they are and get to know them on a, on the true, authentic level, because I feel like there's so much to be learned by talking to people of different perspectives and different faiths and different. Backgrounds cause it's, I mean, that's one of the things I really enjoy about my job is doing extraditions. 

Yeah. It's like, I love doing transports for people where I have no. Direct. Conflict with them. They'll probably never see me again in their entire life. And I get to spend X amount of hours taking them from one place to another place and they get to tell me their story. Right. That's cool. And there's something that's so, cause you're in the car with him sometimes for hours. 

Oh yeah. For hours driving around or on flights for hours. And it's so cool to be extraditing just to make sure we know it's, Tyler's going and picking up a, an inmate in one state who needs to be taken to another. And so he'll fly there, drive them wherever they need to go. And that, so that's what he's doing. 

Yeah. The way I like to explain it is I'm basically an adult Uber driver for jails. Yeah. Yeah. So I just take someone from one jail to another jail, but it's so fun because you just gotta be real and raw with them and you get a treat them like human beings and a lot of these people because of choices that they made or because of the way that they look or the way that they act. People judge them really harshly. And I love the opportunity to just open up and be real and be human with them. Food, buying them drinks, talking about their past, where, how they got to, where they were, what decisions that they made, that they felt like they could have done better. 

And you learn so much just getting to know that individual person.  And I've had so many experiences where. People that I've transported or even people that I've arrested. I will, I'll take them to the jail and they'll start. Complimenting me. To the jail deputies there there'll be like, this guy was the coolest cop. Ever had the experience to be with, like, he bought me drinks, he bought me food. 

He  chatted with me like a human being. I haven't had a human interaction in months because I've been in jail. And I've been afraid of talking with people. And so, I mean, For example, one guy that I arrested, this was probably almost a decade ago. I. He was, he was an older gentlemen. And he got into using illegal substances. 

I think his drugs of choice were like Adderall or Xanax, marijuana methamphetamine. So he ran the full gamut. But he didn't start using drugs until maybe in his fifties. He was a lot older. Like there was no recreational use before then.  And then all of a sudden, he just kind of fell off the deep end. 

And when I first caught him,  He.  Even though it was an embarrassing thing as getting caught in troubling times. Are he just straight up? Gave me everything was super honest with me. And I, I appreciate authenticity. I really appreciate honesty. And so when I, when I took him to the jail, he had some pomegranate seeds with them. And a lot of times when people go to jail and they've been really good with me. I, I have no reason not to be human with them. And so a lot of times I'll offer them a cigarette before they go into the jail, because who knows how long they'll be in there. 

And some people have those vices. And I feel like it's a good thing to just kind of calm their nerves and, and help them set to go into this experience that maybe they've done before. Maybe they never have. Yeah.  And I get to the part where I normally say, Hey, do you want a cigarette? And he goes, actually, you know, it'd be really nice if I could just eat my Palm and guidance. 

And I was like, well, I can't handcuff you, but I'm happy to feed them to you. And he's like, what? And I remember this guy on the side of the road. Me helping him dump his baggy upon granites into his mouth. And he ate them. And that was, that was huge for him because then he started telling everyone, and I heard this from different drug users on the streets really that he told a story about me. 

They're like, Hey, so started passing after you got out of the jail. Oh yeah. Sharon everybody. Oh, yeah, they knew your name. Oh yeah. And when he'd see me on the street, he'd say that's the cop that fed me pomegranate seeds when I was arrested. Wow. And so I've had a lot of good experiences where, you know, just because I wear a badge, just because I have a gun. That persona, that look that I give off, doesn't have to be the one that's purveyed by the people. 

Like they can, I can give them a totally different experience. And I've noticed from my career that when I can help people not see the badge and see me as a human doing my job, and if they've done something wrong, then I just, we just have to take care of it. Yeah. Then there are a lot more understanding and I've loved being able to have those experiences. Because I'm not really afraid of when I see people, I rest out on the street. 

Right. Most of the time they'll run up to me and tell me how good they're doing. They'll introduce me to girlfriends and other things like that. And there'll be like, this guy is the coolest cop I've ever met. And I love those stories. That's awesome. It's awesome because I mean,  So when you think about it,  

These people who are on the streets, whether they be homeless, whether they be drug addicts.  

Even if they're not in the streets, right. No matter where you're at, you're walking around the store. These are all somebody's family. Yeah. And some of them have lost their family. They've lost, you know, we've talked about relationships, they've lost those core relationships and they feel lost. In the world. And they will make some poor choices. And you said, you know, some of them haven't had a human interaction or human conversation. Because people don't want to talk to them. 

Oh, this guy is on the street asking for money. I don't want to talk to him. Avoid looking into his eyes. Yeah. And not talk to him where. If you just have a conversation, you'll learn some really, really cool things. Yeah. In fact, they might not even be homeless. They might be on like a. Come to self journey. Right. 

I had a young men's leader who hitchhiked from Utah. All the way to Alaska. Wow. Yeah. And they would go, they hitchhiked with their friends. They would say let's meet at McDonald's because in every city there's always, McDonald's, let's meet at McDonald's in Buffalo or wherever it was. Right. Let's meet at McDonald's in Portland. And they would hitchhike from place to place to have McDonald's and.  People probably thought they were homeless until they started talking to them like, oh, you guys are just going on this cool journey. 

And these are things that you'll never find out. Unless you give somebody a chance.  I think the hardest part is the fact that people just don't allow to see their value.  When I was taking someone to a jail we're driving through Las Vegas. And as we are, as we are coming up to the jail right outside Fremont street, you have a lot of. Transients or curbside community or homeless or whatever you want to call them. 

Yeah. And. I saw one guy that was just like huddled over in a dark green jacket. And I audibly expressed to the guy that I was transporting. I go. I bet that guy's story is incredible. Like I like, he's got a story to tell because. From talking with everyone and to not limiting yourself, to who you surround yourself with. You really,  you really give them grace and allow them to really make a difference in your life. 

And it's. It's cool. I hear those stories. Yeah. I was watching a real, and I know some people will say, Hey, like this might not be a true story, but. I was watching a real, where this guy goes and he basically offers people who are homeless or asking for money, a job. Oh yeah. And he went up to this kid who was asking for money. And, you know, you you'd see him like, oh, there's this Katie. 

He probably is trying to get money for drugs or alcohol or whatever it might be. We'll come to find out that the reason this kid is homeless is because his home is unsafe and his parents are drug addicts, but he doesn't want anything to do with it. And so he left and he felt safer living on the streets than at home, but he didn't have a job where we have transportation. 

And so he was trying to get money for that, but everybody was just bypassing him, like nobody was talking to talk to him, but he was just trying to live in a non. That environment, which is really fascinating to me. Growing up. It was always, Hey.  We don't judge. The reason these people are asking for money. Because you don't know.  What their actual situation is. 

If you can give, give, if you can't, that's fine. Often my dad would say, Hey, why don't we just try and get them food? Instead of money in case they are trying to go ahead and, and use it for drugs and what's, you know, do something like that. That's gonna be more valuable and sometimes they'll go no barter for somebody else with, for Southern drugs. 

That's, that's not on me. Sure. Right. But helping these people out. Can have a great impact and literally turn somebody's life completely around. Yeah, I've got you just reminded me of this really good story. I was going to the university of Utah and I was in this.  



I can't remember exactly what class it was. 

I think it had, I think it was ethics. I think I was in an ethics course. And at this time in my life I had, I was traveling on the front runner train. To go up to Utah up to the university of Utah from Utah county and back and forth. And so it was a lot of time just in public transit. Which is great because it gave me a lot of time for homework, but which it was bad because there's also a ton of people that use public transit that don't. No that can't afford it. Right. Like their own cars or things like that. And I'm sitting in this ethics class. And well, just to back up to give a little pre-story when you go to the salt lake front runner station, I know they've done a really good job of eradicating people asking for money. 

Yeah. But it still happens here and there. And there was this one particular person that I was aware of that would come up to me every time I was out of that front runner station asked me for money. And I would always just say now, sorry. Yeah, I'm a poor college student. I can't even afford food for myself. 

I'm sorry. I got nothing. Yeah.  And I'm sitting in, sitting in his ethics class and my backpack that I had, I used to put all my spare change into just one pocket. So I had a whole pocket full of spare change. Yeah.  And I'm sitting in this ethics class and they're talking about it and they go. You know, who are we to judge? When people ask for money. Like, why are we going to be hard on them? If they've got nothing else, the very least we could do for the human experiences to help out. 

Yeah. And who knows what they could use, the money for drugs. They could use it for, you know, whatever it may be. Well, that's not our choice to make our choices, to be giving and to be charitable and those things. And I. And that like really ate at me because I was not, I was never the person just give away my money because I worked so hard for it. 

Yeah. And it's not like I'm overflowing with it.  And so I was like, man, that's it, it was impactful for me enough that day, that when I went down to their front runner station,  The person comes up, gives me the exact same story as they do every week. Hey. I need a Greyhound bus ticket. Because, you know, I got stuck here and my family's here and what, and I got, and I got to get there and I was like, dude, I know your whole story. 

You tell me every single week. It's fine. I'll give you my change. So I zipped open my backpack. I hand them all the change in my change pocket.  As soon as I'm dropping the money in his hands, his outstretched cup hands.  Boom out of nowhere. Comes like 10 undercover. UTA officers. It was a steam. And I was like, what is going on? 

And they immediately put that person to handcuffs. Pulled them off to the side. And then they started questioning me.  And I'm just sitting there. I wasn't a cop at this point.  I'll just call a student. I have no idea. And I'm just like, what's going on? And they're going, we've been setting up the steam to catch people that are asking for money on the, on the platforms because it's illegal. They're not supposed to do that. And this guy particularly always gets in and gets out before anyone can get anything. And I'm like, well, I can tell you all about a story. 

Cause he's told me like four weeks in a row. Yeah. Because this guy has been here. This is what his story is, blah, blah, blah. I never got my change back and I really didn't care. Yeah. But it was just wild that the one day I opened my heart after this ethics course to just get this guy changed, to try to help him out, whatever it may be. Bam. 

He gets hooked up by, by police officers and I'm like, oh,  Or did this come from? Right? I. I thought it was just us two on the platform. I didn't see where those other 10 guys were even at. Yeah. So that's wild. That was a crazy story. I 

So. 

It was yesterday.  

Read and I. We're driving. We'd picked up like two poles or something, and we were driving through the parking lots kind of passing by  pets, Martin.  Walmart right. Are there and Spanish work? Yeah. And as we were going, there was a lady with a sign next to the stop sign and it says, what is, what does she want? And I said, oh, she's just asking for money. 

She needs help. And Reed says, well, are we going to help her daddy?  And I said, buddy, we don't have any, any money in the car. T to give her, he was like, well, can't we go to the house and grabbed money and then come back. And I was like, buddy, we don't, we don't have cash. Like we don't, we don't have cash. 

He was like, that's fine. We can go to the bank. I was like, buddy. It's. We can't go to the bank today. I'm sorry, like we don't have any money. But then I promise we'll start having money in the car so we can get it what people need. He's like, okay, daddy, because they need help. Yeah. And.  Oh, it just, if we could all have the eyes of a child. And just be.

 Loving and wanting to help people like he doesn't fully understand what money is and how it helps or what it does, but. Anyways, today. We had money in the car and that was a different lady and I was able to give her a buck and it's like, what is a buck to me? I probably wasted it to lose it anyways. But it made me feel a bit better and I can't wait till Reed's in the car with me again. 

And we can do that again.  Just to show him that everybody's a person and sometimes people just need a pick me up. Sometimes people need a little bit of help. And I often find that it's the people who have the least that are willing to give the most. Oh, yeah. And it's crazy how that works. So.  I'm gonna share another story. Another mission story. Before you do. Like to say, I think that's really admirable for not only read to recognize that and try to get past all of your objections. 

Cause that's like,  Professional salesmen right there. Yeah. But also the fact that like, At what point in a child's life do they obtain those judgments where they're like, no, I can't, I'm not going to do that because I'm going to judge you because you want to, like you said, see through a child's eyes and just have that. That love and like desire to help people. 

Well, it comes from what they see, right. It comes from. What their parents did growing up. It comes from what happens when they're walking through the streets of salt lake or New York, wherever they are and what they see other adults and grownups doing, right. Children are malleable and they emulate what they see. 

And so if you put them in an environment where they see positive interactions there, they're going to do the same thing.  Very interesting. Yeah. If they see people just walking over people or avoiding eye contact or other stuff like that, then they'll just do the same thing. Yeah. That makes sense. But to, to. The story in Chile, right? 

So this family. The husband there, it's like an old, an older couple their daughter lives there with their kids, but the, the dad or the grandpa. Was like an extra rug Lord down there. Like he was big time. He was big time. He told us stories about like shooting people and killing people and like all the crazy things. 

Right. And like really that's you? And he's like, yes, that was me. I swear. And I'm like, holy freak. Like, yeah. You're wild. And he was just like, laughing about it, telling these stories and his wife's like, it's true. It was hard times, but we've made it through it. Right. But they were very, very poor. But they were the most generous and loving. 

And one thing that they love to do is once a month, they always wanted to feed the missionaries once a month. And so they were on repeat schedule. Sometimes people would just do every once in a while, but they were wa. They wanted their blessings.  And.  

 One day, we. 

I think they put it in respect of these people had no money. K like. 

 They probably have two bedrooms. There's like seven of them. I write. I had no money. They had a house, which is great, but. Anyways. So we go there one day as. Furniture. Like they actually have a bed or was it like, I don't know. I just looked like living on the floor. They had couch. They had a table. I don't know where their bedrooms were. 

Like when you came and visited, where you sitting on the couch and they would all sit on the floor.  They would sit at the table. They'd sit on the table, like at the chairs around the table. So it's oh, I see. I see.  Africa.  

What, what kind of poor are we talking about? So people could like understand. The destitution to put it. Yeah. So we'll, we'll kind of get there. 



Like to the point where kids are getting sick and in wheelchairs, because of the lack of quality of food and nutrition that they can have. And they're having to borrow wheelchairs for this particular family. 

Yeah. Wow. They had more than one kid in a wheelchair. One and then the other one was get close. Wow. But we get there one day and we're so excited cause she always made amazing food. And so we're stoked. We get there. There's this table full of food. And they're like, you guys eat first. Like we want to wait until you guys eat and work. 

No, no, eat all the other. No, you guys eat. And we have more in the back. Like we just have this out here for you guys. Not in a chair. And so we're just pounding it, eating this food and. We love it, but we, we stop and like, oh yeah, we're totally for like, you're showing like, yeah, we're good. They'll start eating. And then 



She starts telling us how.  Two hours.  Before we were supposed to be there to eat.  But she was crying. 

Because.  She had no money.  Like not like they weren't going to eat. They had $0. And they weren't going to have money for awhile. Like they had nothing to eat for them and they were going to be feeding the missionaries and she didn't want to call us and tell us that we weren't going to have food.

And she went for a walk outside to cry.  

And she found money on the ground.  Like equivalent to like 20 bucks.  

And she immediately went and spent all 20 bucks to prepare us dinner.  

No question in her mind, she gave up everything that they had.  To feed us.  

 But then on the other hand,  We have people here who make.  A shit load of money.  Who won't help anybody.  

And you're right. I mean, that's, that's you telling that story? Or reminds me of so many times I experienced the same thing. Africa isn't really known for being a very industrious, at least in the part of Africa I was in.  And so I had similar stories where, what, , you had to eat on your plate. 

What was all that there was, and there was nothing for them, but.  Yeah, it's so wild to think. And that was one of the hard. Things I had to try to.  Come to grip with when I came back. So the United States was.  Having carpet. Yeah. Having a door, a front door, having food going bad in a refrigerator or in a pantry. That's never touched, whereas all the cupboards they had, if they had cupboards. We're bare and the things that were in them or things that were eating the next day or the next meal.  Or they were sending their kids to the market. 

Right. Then. You have to buy something to prepare for you. So.  Oh, The story hits hard. Yeah. Well, so hearing your story. So  I was in New York for work a business trip. And I was in the Uber going to the airport. And as I got in the Uber it was very clear. The sky was not from the United States. 

He was, had a very thick accent. I, he was from somewhere in Africa. Like.  Like jungle, like Africa, like he was deep. So my part of Africa. Like you're part of that. Exactly. Like he was deep in their jungle. And I just start talking to them, trying to learn a story. And you know, where did you come from? 

Like how long have you been here? And having an awesome chat and, you know, he said, I just always wanted to make something for myself. And I decided to come here.  And come to New York. He's like I tried somewhere else, but it was freezing. And then. You know, coming to New York, it's not that much warmer, but it's a little bit better. And I'm like, well, how do you survive here? It's really expensive in New York. 

How much do you pay for rent? How much do you pay for your car? What do you do out of yada yada.  Well, he does Uber drive.  And he pays for a single room. And it's extremely expensive. Basically his Ubering pays for just enough for him to pay for his rent, his car. And food. And he'll save up for a long time to be able to fly back home every once in a while. 

But that night. Where that morning when he picked me up to go to the airport, I was talking to him. I could tell that he was tired. And I was talking to him and he said that he actually never went to bed, that he did a whole shift. Yes. The day before. And then he never went to bed that night because in New York parking is extremely expensive. And if you don't get a spot that's permitted in your area that you just have more parks. 

So he went home. And there was nowhere for him to park after his shift.  He had nowhere to park to go, they'll go home and sleep. And he just kept driving. Kept working though.  Because he had nothing else to do. So he just kept working because he couldn't afford to pay for the gas. If he wasn't. No. So he just drove around, kept working and the work ethic that they have to. You know that these people have. Who I've started from the bottom and are trying to work their way up is amazing, but all they need is a little bit of help. 

And I was I gave him a great tip because it was on the company. Yeah, we didn't care. I wanted to help him. But then I also had a bunch of stuff I got for the conference and I said, Hey, I have this insulated bottle. Do you want this? I have a million of them at home. Are you serious? Yeah, I would love that. 

And he was so excited. Right. And.  Again, I think it comes down to judging a book by a cover. Like this is my Uber driver and I'm going to let him drive. I'm going to sit back here and be quiet and get from point a to point B.  But I learned this whole cool story. Have an amazing conversation with the guy. And what he wants to do. 

And. Just simply giving him a bottle that I got for free was worth so much to him. Yeah. And.  He later wrote me like a personal message. Thank you. In off of the tip, like it wasn't just a vague. Thank you. He was, he was buried. Yeah.  But I think the point in that again is just, you know, don't judge a book by its cover. 

Now you don't know the background and story, and there might be situations where you don't want to tip. But sometimes your tip.  Is life-changing tip. Sometimes you were donation to a nonprofit is a life-changing donation. Sometimes you giving a buck. To somebody asking for money on the streets is a life-changing book. You really don't know the effect you have on people and the ripple that will ripple through generations like these, these are, these are things that people, it could be a pivotal part of their life. 

It changes everything. And now your, the reason for that, because you didn't allow yourself to fall into the rut of just like. Autonomy. Yeah. It'd be like, no, you know, I'm not gonna worry about, I don't know. I got to talk to this person. I'm not gonna do that. That's too much work. I don't want to get to know people. 

I don't want to this. Person's just an Uber driver and I'm going to put them in that category. And I'm not going to let them out like. The one thing that I love seeing, especially with people that I arrest and take the jail. Is opening that proverbial jail cell. Even though they're sitting in the back of my car with handcuffs on.  And saying, you know, as a person who are you. Yeah. 

Like what are you about right. And I, and I really enjoy getting to that. To the core, the essence of somebody and getting to know them, it reminds me. Of something that I've been meditating on lately from something that I read that was really neat, but it brought me to this idea.  Because everyone is created from God or from a higher power. And from the thoughts of God, there is divinity in all beings, all conscious creation that comes from. God or, you know, a grand architect or whatever you want to call it, that deity.  

That.  Everyone's perspective really matters. And as we learn more from other people's perspectives, We gain a better perspective for ourself. And we understand God better, more clearly. We learn from everyone. And so something that was very important to me is as I would have been meditating on that and just thinking about it is that.  Everyone has a very specific, special. Life that's given just for them. 

No two are the same. And I feel like the more we compare and contrast everyone's story. We kind of are able to draw this better picture of what a DED could be or could look like for us. And the fun part for me specifically. Is just being able to do that on my own spiritual journey. And have the picture become clearer and I love. Providing space for anyone in the everyone. So that I am truly welcome for any, any type of person, any type of a background.  Because I gained something from it that might sound sad. 

Selfish. And I hope in some aspect I'm able to leave something good for them to, to dwell on as well. Yeah. Leave them a better person than I found him. And in turn. They're going to help lift me as well. Yeah. I, I love that. I think that. You know, we had previous conversation about. Vibration. Right. 

And interacting with other people is kind of like a vibration. What you do vibrates the next person. It passes the next to the next. I mentioned the Kyler. You only have three guitars on my wall. If I pluck an Eastern on one of the guitars, the E's on all the guitars are going to start vibrating. And I think it just goes to that rippling effect. Of your influence on other people. One action that you make one donation, one smile. It's going to have a rippling effect that you don't know how many generations that impact is going to go, because that smile could have saved somebody from, from, you know, Taking care of their own life. You know, And now they have generations that continue because you smiled right. Absolutely. And so I love that. Something. 

I wanted to also mention how we've talked about perspectives or, you know, judging a book by its cover for people who maybe have done drugs or gone to jail or homeless or very poor. But it's also the same for people who are very well done up. Right. Oh yeah. If you look at. You know, what state or population. Users prescription drugs the most.  You're going to see a lot of Utah moms, all. Right. 

Or if you look at. A lot of serial killers.  That's terrifying to talk about, but when you look at serial killers, they're not always. Going to be that guy that looks sketchy, like Texas chainsaw massacre. Sure. Right. You're going to have people who are affable. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. They're going to be very well dressed up. 

They're going to have a certain tie. They're going to be a member of your church and you might trust, trust them. Who's that guy years ago here in Utah. I don't know. I was trying to think of who you're referring to, man. Man there's a whole. There's a whole Netflix show on him. Oh, really? Yeah. I don't know if I've seen that man. You listening, who are like 40 years, plus you'll know who I'm talking about. And it might come to me later, but there's that right? 

Like, or family members or people that are, are right there. And so when it comes to judging people,  

You need to be wise, right? Like it's not smart to just trust everybody blindly because of the way they look either. Right? You don't want to trust or judge somebody to say, oh, they're a horrible person because of the way they look, you also don't want to say, Hey, this is a great person. Because of the way they look. 

I think that's a really good aspect that you brought into perspective. Cause we definitely were talking about looking down, but I think you're also right. And looking up, not to blindly accept someone just because they have that professional appearance or they. Appear to be.  Someone of stature. Like it's, it's good to take a very scrutable. 

Look at everyone. But to also provide space. So I guess, I guess, like, not necessarily trust them. To where you're giving away your freedom or your prosperity, but also to be able to look critically at all aspects. Right. So, yeah, there's, there's good things about judging a book by its cover. For safety purposes. But at the same time, like what we're talking about mostly today is just being able to open up and allow for people to be people, even in times when they might not have that opportunity. 

Yeah. A hundred percent. And, and the serial killer was Ted Bundy by the way. Oh, yeah. Who was very active in his work church. Convert congregation. Really? Yeah. I didn't know that. Anyways, but yeah, I agree. And I think that.  

Making sure that you are wise in your judgments, but.  If you're in a place where to safe setting. And you can help somebody. By just simply having a conversation.  Do it. You might learn something really cool. And you might find out that that person was a veteran and might have amazing stories. You might find out that a kid has left a horrible environment to try and set a better life for himself. You might find somebody who is looking for their next hit.  Yeah, but it all comes down to small life choices, something that maybe happened to them. 

And another small choice. Can also send them in another trajectory. And people's possibilities are endless. Yeah. That's definitely going to have to be an episode too. Yeah. I've already heard of two episodes that we're going to have to do in the future. One about vibrations. And then what about a trajectory? Yeah. 

And how decisions can really make a huge impact.  Wow. Cool. Well, you guys were really grateful that you listened. I hope this is a springboard for those who are listening. To share with your friends, that we actually would love to start interviewing people to hear their perspective and to give them a voice. 

 In this podcast. We really want to be able to allow all people to have an opportunity to tell their story. And to also hear their perspective. And help us learn more about them and maybe their story can help our audience as well. So if you know of anyone who would love to be interviewed just about their perspective  and let their story fly. 

We'd love to hear that you can email us at theeyelerperspective@gmail.com. If you liked this episode, like it, follow it on any of the media platforms, you're listening to it on and you can find us on Facebook or Instagram at the Eyeler Perspective. Thank you so much for listening. 

We'll catch you next time.