What People See And Miss In Autism

What if the hardest parts of autism and ADHD are the parts no one can see? We’re talking about the real gap between “behavior” and brain-based challenges and why that gap leads to so much misunderstanding at school and at home. From sensory sensitivity and rigid routines to shutting down mid-task, the visible signs are only one slice of the picture. 

We walk through common autism traits people notice, then dig into what often gets missed: reduced working memory, slow processing of new information, detail-first thinking, trouble reading nonverbal cues, and difficulty shifting thought patterns. We also share why visual schedules can be a game-changer for transitions and independence, and how a quick “brain break” can prevent overload before it turns into a meltdown. 

Then we shift to ADHD, including the classic signs like fidgeting, unfinished work, and distractibility, plus the invisible hurdles like impulse control, organization, and stress management. You’ll hear practical classroom strategies such as flexible movement, faster pacing for drills, and simple regulation tools. We also share a real story about calling a parent to build teamwork, celebrating a student who handled disappointment, and how small positive reinforcement can change the whole week. 

If you care about neurodiversity, special education, classroom management, or parenting support for autism and ADHD, this one will give you language and tools you can use right away. Subscribe, share with a teacher or parent who needs it, and leave a review with one “invisible” challenge you want more people to understand.

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Transcript

Weekend Check In And Purpose

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I hope you're having a great weekend. It's good summer here in Florida. Kind of nice. But we really need some rain in this area. So anyway, I'm going to talk to you today about what people see and what people don't see. And this will be kind of a short one. I am going to talk about some other things that not just this list and kind of explain a little bit about things that people don't understand or don't see or and maybe to be a little bit helpful. So I'm going to talk about autism first of all. And some of the things that people do see is communication limitations. Take things literally, sensitive to text, texture. I'm sorry, texture, and taste and light and coarse sound. Repeat for words or phrases, especially if they watch something on TV the night before, you usually know what they watched. Feeling exhaustion. Sometimes they need to lean, lay on a beanbag or something if they're in a classroom because they're just really, their body is just tired. Rigid meltdowns, which is a is a big one that a lot of people see and kind of remember, okay, this kid is going to have meltdowns or whatever. No eye contact, anxious, fixed in interest, maybe like trains or it could be whales, it could be a lot of different different stuff. Kind of aloof, not really paying attention, just kind of spacing out a little bit. Doesn't understand jokes, maybe be clumsy and prefer routines and likes alone time. And I think they almost need it every day, to be honest. And I know when we're busy and we're trying to get everything done, it's kind of hard to give them that little space, but it's really important that we we call it brain break in our in my room, where you just kind of have a break and do whatever you need to do for a few minutes. Here are some things that people don't see. A decrease of working memory, which is a lot of a lot of times you see that. Struggle to process new information, can see details rather than the big picture. So they see little things, but they can't, you know, vision what's gonna happen maybe next. Difficult in organizing thoughts, rigid thoughts that they're just stuck on this one thing and you can't get them through. And that reminds me of the boy that lost his phone. And he said, as soon as you find it, call me and let me know. And we kept trying, they kept trying to tell him, no, it we can't call you unless you have your phone with you. And he just couldn't get the he couldn't get the concept. He just couldn't, you know. And so that his brain would just say, no, that's my phone. If you find it, you can call me. He just couldn't make that connection. Poor guy. Brains can't process nonverbal cues, so they don't get those nonverbal cues, those expressions on your face, or things like that. They just a lot of times they don't understand that. Difficult developing language skills, and a lot of them are nonverbal, verbal, or just have some difficulties with that. Difficult making decisions, struggles to retake information or to relate information that they already know. Now, I want to talk about that a little bit. Sometimes you think, you know, you've taught a lesson or you're teaching something and you've taught it, and you taught it, and you feel like, oh, they didn't get it, you know. I keep doing it 150 times, it feels like they do sometimes get it, and you just have to kind of move on from that, and then and then later it'll show up, oh, you did get that. Sometimes they they shut down and just don't do it anymore because they say, Well, I got in their mind, they feel like I got this. Why am I doing this again? This is ridiculous. So they may not partic participate in that and just kind of shut down on you. So it's not that they didn't get it, it's just that you just need to move on. Sensory input is hard to process. Okay. Predicting and planning is hard. So they have to have that visual schedule because they're not gonna predict what I necessarily need to do. The the visual schedule also gives them a little bit of control over their lives, and that's sometimes what they're trying to gain. They want a little bit of control, especially if they get older, like 10, 11, 12, they want that control in their lives. And as they don't have it, if everybody's always, you know, do do do for them, and that's not good either. So uh we need to help them be able to be a little more independent and be able to, anyway. So visual schedules are very important, difficult to understand social and emotional information. If they've done something, they may not understand that they hurt that person's feelings or that they hurt them at all. So it's just difficult for them to kind of figure that out. Uh, difficult and changing their thought patterns. That's why the routine is very important because now you're telling them, no, we're not gonna do it this way. This is the way we're gonna do it. Now, if they're starting out a new year, of course, you're gonna have different, different schedules and do different things than they maybe they did last year, but that's where the visual comes in. And maybe after a while they don't need it as much, but that routine, it also gives them some control over their lives. I know what I need to do, this is what I need to happen, and then lack of self-control. So sometimes they just can't help what they're doing. If they're having a meltdown, they they just can't help it, is all. Now there are some kids that can help it and do it and don't and get out of control, but they are able to control themselves, but choose it's a behavior. There's difference between having a behavior that is due to your uh disability and having a behavior where I'm gonna get out of work and I'm not, I don't want to do this. There's there is a huge difference in that. So, anyway, that's with autism. Now, some of our kids have ADHD, which um means that they're very active people, our kids, and this is what people do see in that. They don't finish task, they're squirmish, has trouble waiting for a turn, has trouble listening, exceed energy fidges, is not organized, careless mistake, impulse decision making, interrupted conversations, they can't wait, they can be loud, they get distracted, difficulty focusing instructions, following instructions too, and restless things that people can't see, they can't focus, they lack self-control, short attention span, directions can be confusing, difficult in organizing thoughts or stress management, and that's something that we really need to teach them, and then maybe that's where a psychologist can come in and stuff where we need to teach those stress management, like breathing and things like that. But there's a lot of different things, maybe just getting up and wiggle around, you know. I've had kids just stand up and do their work, you know, that they just can't sit there, and that's fine. I don't care, you know, if you want to stand, stand. Lack of impulse control gets excited easily. And that can also be with autism, too, that both of them they get excited, like if you're gonna have a fire drill or some type of uh classroom drill, or you're or there's something exciting happening at home, they get real excited and they're like literally bouncing off the walls or bouncing up and down, easily irritable. So it doesn't take much to make them upset, get bored easily because they want to be able to move on. Their brain is moving 90 miles an hour, and that's a lot of times with autism kids. Like if you're doing vocabulary and you're doing flashcards, you gotta be fast. Doom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. You're not gonna say, This is cat, this is dog, no, cat, dog, you know, and so on and so on, and just flash that card, okay? Because that's how fast their brain is working. So you need to be fast with those with those uh cards to get that vocabulary in. Because if you're slowly, you know, looking at the card, having them look at the card and seeing it, then they're they're they're you're gonna lose them by probably the third card, they're done. So you gotta be quick. A low frustration tolerance, forgetfulness, get forgetful, poor time management, and daydream. Which all people do daydream and stuff, but they may do it a little bit more, kind of zone out. They I think if they do it to be honest with you, and I'm not a medical doctor or anything, but just maybe their brain is like on overload and they just have to zone out for a little bit and get some peace and stuff. So those are some things that people see and people don't see with our kids that are on the spectrum or maybe have ADHD and on the spectrum. So uh those are some things that you can, you know, maybe help educate other people to make them understand other things that they don't see, you know, and not the things that they do see. So, because there's still a lot to one person, it's just not their behavior, or they they can't control themselves or they don't finish their work. There's other things that go into affect. I'm I'm a teacher that sometimes people don't like this, but I I let parents know what's going on. I don't like to not call them and and you know if they had a meltdown or a bad day or anything because not because I am I just want them to punish the the kids. I had to explain to a dad, just because I call you doesn't mean you have to run up here. And I said, but we need to work together. You he had a bad day, I'm letting you know he had a bad day. That's uh, you know, but I also called and I think he was a little shocked, and he it was like, because they hear my voice and they oh no, I know they do. And I said, I'm here to tell you he he was very disappointed today, and because he lost all his tickets, reward tickets, and wasn't able to get the reward. But I said he handled it really, really well. So I let him have uh choose a reward because the fact that he handled that so well. I mean, he was hurt and sat and pine interiorite and stuff like that, but he did not, you know, throw desks or chairs or rip up stuff. He did not do any of that, he was in control of himself, and to me that was important to show him, hey, you know, you did well. And then the next day I brought him an orange, and because he loves oranges, so just so he knows that hey, I I noticed the good things too, and I I want you to know that I noticed it, and that that you know, you did good in that whole week. I had no problems with him at all that whole week, just by calling a parent and giving him an orange, you know. And so some things are, you know, in our control that we can do, but I know that there's things that are not in our control, and I know that we get frustrated too. We're human, you know. And sometimes, you know, it just you feel like you're walking on eggshells and it can be stressful for the teacher. And you're trying to, your mind is other places, you're trying to teach, you know, you got deadlines to meet, paperwork to do, grades to do, other kids that need your attention. It's just it's a lot, it really, really is. And then this time of year, a lot of the people that are working and you know, get burned out. What I'm doing right now is to help me not get that way, because I I I feel you teach to the very end, is I'm trying to spend my weekends with some rest and enjoy a movie, you know, play with my dog, read, do some breeding, just something that's that's good for me that helps me to kind of rejuvenate myself to get feeling better. So I have another week to face. And we only have five more left, and then I'm gonna be doing some tutoring. I have a a parent that had contacted me that her she wants some uh help with him for this summer, just two hours, three days a week. So I'm gonna do that. But other than that, I'm just staying home this year and doing some more podcasts. So, anyway, that's all I have for today. I hope you guys have a blessed week and I will talk to you real soon. Bye bye.