How I Became a Warrior Poem

FIRST EPISODE!!
Join me next week as we break down this poem and explore the complexities of self-acceptance and the significance of acknowledging our struggles. Discover how embracing our shadows can lead to profound personal growth and empowerment. Tune in for an inspiring conversation about becoming a warrior through love and acceptance.

Transcript

Intro

Welcome to the podcast where I share my Journal Gemsss full of life, lessons and laughs. Today, I got some gems for you baby. Now let’s get into the episode.

Main Content

I was once told that I wasn’t a good speaker, a great performer but not a great speaker. And part of me was too stunned to speak, they casually mentioned my freshest wound wrapped in my greatest joy. I wonder if I told them that I was recovering from a stroke would the blow be softer? Would they excuse my stutter, brain fog, and puzzle-piece sentences and stop the bleeding because now they know my suffering?

 If you must know my struggle to appreciate the fight, then I’ll tell you how I became a warrior. 

I was 20, it was my 2nd year in college mid-pandemic. I was doing what I always do, surviving. Some of the ways I survived were by binge-watching and eating. As if, eating was feeling a void, calories bringing me a joy I hadn’t recognized in years. Watching shows and movies made it easier for me to forget my own drama. Leaving my insecurities in suspense and laughing the pain away. 

I was stuck in a hole that I never fought to get out of, finding comfort at the bottom, safe from the unknown things that exist outside of my hole of home. 

I became friends with creepy creatures of the dark. And if you know anything about monsters. You know they thrive on hate, fueled by anger, and are attached to the ego. The problem is that at some point, I started to become one. I didn’t recognize myself, and some days it was tough for me to look in the mirror. I became deformed and delusional like I wasn’t draped in darkness. Most days, it was hard for me to cleanse my scaly skin. Brush my sharp teeth, Change my dirty clothes. I became so used to the bottom, familiar with filth.  My body couldn’t take it anymore. There were too many chains, too many locked doors, and covered windows. I was suffocated by my struggles. Darkness and I became inseparable. There wasn’t a ray of hope. 

But this isn’t a story about how I claimed victory over the shadows. This isn’t a story of resilience either, how I kept going on even though it was hard, and it was. It’s a story of acceptance. Accepting what I had become, knowing that I was capable of it, and much more. Accepting that no one made me that way.  Accepting that we all have monsters. You know the darkest parts of you, things that you hate, that you are ashamed of, but knowing that they are deserving of love and attention too. So, when I tell you, I became friends with my monsters. I mean I paid attention to the cracks, respected the process, and loved them into transformation. 

Outro

Alright, thank you for joining me as I explore my what, why, and how. Hopefully, you can relate, learn a thing or two, and get to know a different experience. Come back every Saturday for a new episode. Connect with me on Instagram, TikTok, and Youtube @Gemtree_25. I love you; have a good one.