Turns Out Going Back Can Be Part of Moving Forward

Turns out going back can be part of moving forward.

We share about a recent church visit, including returning to a place Steph used to work and all the nostalgia and reflection that came with it. What we loved, what felt different, and what it showed us about how we have grown.

Then we talk about Easter and what the resurrection actually changes, and why we do not always live like it does.

Because maybe moving forward starts with seeing clearly where we have been
and choosing to live a little lighter because of what is already true

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:05

Hello and welcome to Kind of Preachie. I'm Steph Moore and I'm with I'm Casey Bryant. And we are laughing because we are starting over because we are unhinged. We are it we are unhinged. Feisty. Feisty.

SPEAKER_02 0:20

I good luck to us today. I know, but I do still want to mention your haircut because I do love it.

SPEAKER_00 0:26

Yeah. So we started off talking about the haircut and then we went into the colour. I appreciate that. It is very fun. Yeah. The bob is bobbing again, and I'm and I'm very happy. And yeah, I I'm you're meant to have long, luscious, beautiful, thick hair. And I am I'm happy to be living where it looks like it has some volume.

SPEAKER_02 0:46

I think that is so important when you find the right hairstyle for you. Because I think you go through these phases of like, okay, let's try it out. And when you find that perfect hairstyle, you're like, okay, this is this is my hair. I'm supposed to have this hair.

SPEAKER_00 0:58

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 0:58

I'm supposed to have long hair. You are you are meant for this cut.

SPEAKER_00 1:01

This is I just wish the hair that I had like came without me having to do anything to it.

unknown 1:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:07

That is the beautiful thing. I would I would like to have like where it just had like a slight wave, or you know, had something, you know. But anyway, pinch straight hair was what the lot I was given in my life genetically, and we're gonna go with it. Okay, so many of you tuned in last week. I feel like this should have its own like theme song.

SPEAKER_02 1:25

No, I don't know. I don't know. No, not dun dun. That's not the right one.

SPEAKER_00 1:28

But I feel like we should have came up with the jingle of Casey and stuff. Try out churches. Oh, yeah. Okay, that's good. I love it. Okay, because we tried out a new church. We did, we did try out a new church. And okay, I kind of spilled the beans a little bit that we were visiting a church that I used to work at. Yes. But it has been many years since I had worked or attended there. Yeah. Over a decade. Yeah. So I left when my youngest was a few months old. Mm-hmm. And she is 13 now. Oh, wow. Yeah. It's been a while. So it has been a while. So we pull in the parking lot, and it was so weird because my body like almost wanted to go to the other side of the parking lot, like where I work there. Oh, like the staff parking? The staff. I don't even yeah. I mean, I guess anybody could park there, but that is where I that's generally where I think every church has where you're encouraged. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 2:20

Official staff parking.

SPEAKER_00 2:21

And when I attended there, it was a much larger church. Yes, because when you were going there, there were three services. There were three services. We had a Saturday night and we had two on Sunday. And I think it ebbed and flowed somewhere between 1200, 1500, you know, larger, you know, like that was kind of the the weekly average. So not mega church, but not small. No, not small at all.

SPEAKER_02 2:52

And also this church was kind of well, for for my understanding, at least in this area, if not in the nation, of like the forefront of like the big non-denominational kind of more production type church. I don't know, more production, but definitely maybe more production, because in my mind that's what I only know. That's what I know.

SPEAKER_00 3:12

Well, yeah. So I this is kind of the fun thing about finding new things. Yes. It was a little bit taking a step back in time. For you, yes. Both production-wise and um emotionally for me.

SPEAKER_02 3:28

It was it was fascinating because it was the opposite of us. Yes. That first time that, you know, two weeks ago when we went to church, where I was very nervous. I can't believe I'm stepping into a church for the first time. And for you, it I was like, okay, I've done this now. Let's go. I'm ready. Yes, she was ready. I'm like, let's let's let's greet some people. I'm here.

SPEAKER_00 3:47

She was. She was shaking hands. I was shaking hands. I was all in. Right off the bat.

SPEAKER_02 3:52

Um I was kind of well, when we got there super early, not super early, but we were there kind of early. So when we walked in, we were just hanging out in the lobby by ourselves. Like it was.

SPEAKER_00 4:02

What did we do? It wasn't that I don't even know if it we were there that long. I just think I didn't know what to expect. True. So it may have been a minute. Yes. And I was like, oh gosh, I was having so much deja vu. You were. Of just what it looked like now, but I remember what it looked like then.

SPEAKER_02 4:21

I remember thinking, like, well, you we talked about maybe you should go, you know, just go see your old room where you used to. I did, I did. And then we we then thought that'd be very creepy if two were.

SPEAKER_00 4:32

I worked in children, so wouldn't walk them back. I did. So I was like, I said, so uh maybe I shouldn't go back there, although I was curious. And then I was spotted by a friend.

SPEAKER_02 4:42

And once you were once you were spotted by a friend, and it did not take long, it was then the red carpet was. I feel like the bat signal went out. It was it was amazing and how generous and nice everybody was. Super nice. So super nice. Lots of hugs. Like we received lots of hugs, lots of people, well, people who we who I knew who went to the church I used to work for, and which is always fun. I've now real like I've now realized that's always gonna happen. No matter where I go, I'm gonna run into people, no matter what church, I'm gonna run into people.

SPEAKER_00 5:16

I well, and yes, yes. I and I don't think it's uncommon that people have tried different places for different seasons of their life. So yeah, I think that's totally I think that's really normal. And also, I mean, when you work at a church for any season of time, you know people from other churches because you you interact with them in certain ways. You team up to do certain things. So even if you haven't attended that church, you know who's on the staff at that church. You know what I mean? Like you just you you tend to run in similar circles, and people who are running after Jesus, you know, like tend to be at the same things. So it wasn't, yeah, it's not odd that we're gonna run into people. We're not gonna run into strangers.

SPEAKER_02 5:57

No, we're gonna run, yes, we are not. And I did get it, I did get a welcome bag. You did get a welcome bag. It was like the beacon, like I am new here.

unknown 6:05

Wah wah wah.

SPEAKER_00 6:06

You did. There was no there was no way to there was no way to stop it.

SPEAKER_02 6:08

No, because once once once you were spotted by your friend and you know introduced me, this is Casey's first time, it was then, oh my gosh, we're gonna, we're gonna Yeah, and I can't, yeah, I'm not gonna lie. Let's come over to this table and here is your which by the way, I am so excited about that mug that they gave you because it's giant.

SPEAKER_00 6:26

Like it's I'm not gonna lie. I when each when I saw the mug, I was like, I I feel like I maybe qualified it the first time. I don't think so. You used to work there. Uh yes, different pastors, different staff.

SPEAKER_02 6:42

And I didn't fully look inside of what they gifted me a gift card for for Starbucks. I know. I was very kind. I was like, oh, they gave me free coffee too. On top of, I love that. It was like very kind. I'm not a fan of the welcome guest or the welcome gift. I know it's important.

SPEAKER_00 7:01

I I do because it's something I'm not a fan, but I loved it. I loved it. She doesn't love being seen with that.

SPEAKER_02 7:08

That is the issue. I do not want, but no matter what, we were going to be noticed because it's a smaller church. It was smaller. It's a smaller church. Everybody, everybody knows everybody. So you were, I was gonna eventually I was going to be approached if you were with me.

SPEAKER_00 7:22

Well, and I guess we should go back to what we were saying. It had been a larger church at one point. Gradually it has become a small church. Yeah. Oh, absolutely. And you have to make it a small church. And you know what, you know what was so interesting after we left, and I was kind of processing all of my feelings. And some of it was, gosh, it felt nice to be hugged. It yes. And it just it felt so familial. Yes. The get up and greet, you know. I oh, I forgot about that.

SPEAKER_02 7:57

I have not done that in a long time.

SPEAKER_00 7:59

I know, and I kind of forgot about it. You know, it was like shake your neighbor's hand. That's kind of, you know, like give a high five, give a five.

SPEAKER_02 8:04

And when they say shake your neighbor's hand, they mean shake your neighbor's hand from across it was people like switching sides, coming up. Yeah, it was one of the things. And I have not experienced that since I attended like a Catholic Mass.

SPEAKER_00 8:16

And I didn't hate it. I didn't hate it. It was, it was I I think you would have hated it if you would have been alone. Yes. If you were new and you're just dipping your phone in your hand. I know it would have been hard. It would have been hard. But the same thing that might have made you on, I think could make a new person uncomfortable would be such a point of connection for somebody for their a just kind of a beacon in their week of like, wow, I needed that hug from that person. And in fact, not only did okay, I also got messages throughout the week of uh of people like, I didn't see you, I heard you were there, I missed this week. Please tell me you're coming back. And like I, you know, I tried to tell, you know, look what we've told everybody is, you know, we're dipping our toes in the water, please. And while I can say it was it was lovely and felt different, it felt very familial, very comfortable. And one of the things that I was processing as I left is when I left, we were so much larger. Yeah. And one of the things I was trying to do at that point in time was transition out of children's ministry into more family ministry and not even in a really paid position because I just had my third baby. I didn't really know what was going to happen. And I knew they didn't have budget to add new people on or just create a position for me. But what I wanted to do was I felt so strongly about this is not gonna shock you. I didn't want ministries to feel like silos. Yes. You know, like where there's children and there's youth, and then there's, you know, women's and men's and you know, even at our service.

SPEAKER_02 9:54

Even at the at the church you go to now, like that is your huge thing. Like, yeah, we have to stop siling off the things. I should be, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:02

I want things to feel like there's always like if you're doing a service event, well, how can the kids be involved? If how and you think, how can children's ministry, how can you mix that with like your 20s somethings and young adults? Well, no, we want them to volunteer, we want mentors, you know, we want kids to see growth, you know, intergenerational growth. Yeah. So there was, you know, things like that. There was one that was one of the things I really wanted. And what I realized when I came home was my prayer for that specific church, although it has gotten smaller, what I witnessed is there were kids in that room. Oh, yeah, there were. There was when they talked about the ministries that they were doing, the how they were feeding people, the families were involved.

SPEAKER_02 10:50

And when it was do have great outreach programs of clothing. Like if you if you're foster care, yes, yes, yes. Everything. Oh, it was you they have uh um their own little, I don't want to say soup kitchen, but their own little uh oh, they had like a thrift store for foster care.

SPEAKER_00 11:08

And then they they they did and and I Oh but they also have the feeding uh yeah, a food bank. Well what I loved about that was yes, they and they've that's something they've always done. We'd always had a grocery giveaway. Which I I there's a huge warehouse in the kind of the back of that and what they used to. But what I love now is they took it one step further, is they come, the church prepares the meal together and eats with the people. Oh, that's amazing. And I I got a little teary because that was like that. I I miss that. Yes. I miss that intentioned intentioned work and serving locally that doesn't feel like a tick on the calendar, you know, like okay, annually, you know, or quarterly, you know, like it felt like a pat on the back, like look at us, is something that they it is I'm not saying that's what I have now. I'm just I'm just saying it felt very intentional, like local people. I don't know, it just felt very commute local community focused. And I think there's a place for all of these things. And but it felt my heart was glowing. Yeah, it was. I I loved that, and I left thinking, wow, the prayers I had for this place 15, 20 years ago that felt impossible with not impossible, but felt like a real challenge in a a growing place. Yeah. I realized those prayers had been answered and I didn't have to be there. It's interesting because both both churches, everything was amazing.

SPEAKER_02 12:47

Like walking in, feeling welcome, you know, hugs, all of that. I don't want to say I struggled. Well, 90 minute service. It was a 90-minute service. That that was I can't remember if that's what it was before. I truly don't remember. Which if that's what you know and you're used to, that's amazing. It was a lot. It for for for me, 90 minutes is like at 45 minutes, I I was and we haven't even gotten to the message yet. At 45 minutes.

SPEAKER_00 13:16

Well, okay. All right. There was some family business that they took care of in between worship and the message. But is that normal? I don't remember that being normal. That being said, it is an entirely different staff than when I was there.

SPEAKER_02 13:28

Well, of course. Of course. And and why would you know it's been it's been 13 years, so I'm sure it's all different, but it was Then I was working. You were working correct.

SPEAKER_00 13:36

She would ask me she goes as well. Like I didn't always get to attend service.

SPEAKER_02 13:40

I was usually I mean, we had we had communion, yeah. Yeah, like the full service. Yes. Um we talked giving, but then we talked above and beyond giving because yes, which I totally understand. It is not it is not fancy when you have to ask your community for additional money because buildings are old. They have a need. You have a need. Yes. I like this blinking. Is that normal? I don't know. Okay. Should I see?

unknown 14:14

What does it say?

SPEAKER_00 14:15

Oh okay. It says it's recording, I think. Okay, great. All right. I don't know if we're okay has it been blinking before? I don't know. Truly, I don't know. We're just gonna keep going. Great. So which so it would have been it would have been nice had maybe had they addressed it as, hey, this is out of the norm, this is family business. Yes. But that was also like 10 minutes of talking about that.

SPEAKER_02 14:40

And then he started into his message, and then we heard someone screaming. Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_00 14:46

I have a question. Yeah, somebody's like, I have a question.

SPEAKER_02 14:48

Like, that's how you know you're in a small church when when you're very you feel very comfortable to shout, I have a question.

SPEAKER_00 14:54

So that wouldn't have been the norm because that's not the size that we were. So yes, that caught me off guard too.

SPEAKER_02 15:01

I was like, oh, okay, love that.

SPEAKER_00 15:02

I didn't hate it.

SPEAKER_02 15:03

No, you very confident in asking a question. I I yes.

SPEAKER_00 15:08

Also, uh, I saw something, and I don't know if you clocked it, but when you kind of went to stations to do communion, there was a couple that went off to the side and gave communion to each other. Oh. And it was they just it wasn't for a show, it was intimate and it was beautiful, yes. And I didn't know if you clocked it. I did not see that.

SPEAKER_02 15:32

But we we we kind of gave each other communion because one thing that, you know, when for me, at least when I do communion, I always make sure that we say, This is the body of Christ broken for you, this is the blood of Christ shed for you, and that was not said. So I'm like, oh yes, and I get it. That that's they have their own way of doing communion. Also, I could not have the body of Christ because it was not gluten-free. I know. I had the body of Christ for you. You did. Most people skip the blood of Christ, but you you drank the blood of Christ. I I went straight for it.

SPEAKER_00 16:02

So, you know, in finding new churches, you know, in communion, like Yeah. I something I will probably in my brain of like, okay, like I gotta check and see if I can't interesting that the second week in a row, politics were brought up.

SPEAKER_02 16:18

Yes. At two different churches. Now, granted, not not as openly as here's my friend, I'm not telling you who to vote for. But also we had Bill Clinton. There was impressions. There was impressions. I did not have sexual relations, that was said, Epstein files were brought up.

SPEAKER_00 16:34

It was very, very It was all brought up. What but what I thought was interesting is I actually didn't think it had anything to do with the message. Yes. It was like, so that's where I'm like, okay. Yeah. Not my favorite message. Because but I will say it was because I was distracted by some of the extras. Yes, the the the impressions, everything.

SPEAKER_02 16:58

Yeah, everything I would say political or that is popular or in in culturally current, I should say that's the best way to say it, was somehow brought in. Just it in a one way, it may be a one-word phrase, it might have been a sentence.

SPEAKER_00 17:14

I think it was an effort to feel inclusive and not in a politically correct way. It was just I what just want to make sure I'm not missing any marks.

SPEAKER_02 17:21

Yeah, and the and the and the theme of it was Jesus is better than all of these, which is Yes. 100% yes. I think we got it without having to like tally it all. I mean, I wanted to do my Bill Clinton.

SPEAKER_00 17:35

So there was there was a moment where Casey was like, my ADHD, it's it's and I was like, I'm not sure. And I think I t I knew it was bad when you started texting me. Uh yeah, and I said I don't have ADHD, but mine is also yes, if I had it, it would be. But I listen, I there's nothing wrong with it. I I I I don't I don't have complaints. It was lovely. Once again, if you're if you are used to a 90-minute service, then the it's amazing. Church. And also, uh, and here's the other thing about trying new churches that I would probably also say. When you come in the middle of a series, oh yeah, that's it's hard. It's really hard. And which both weeks we have come in the middle of where they are working towards something, building towards Easter. So there's that. And so I will, I won't, I'm not I don't want to say like, oh, something's not for me just because of that. Because honestly, like I I'm not saying I won't go back for more hugs.

SPEAKER_02 18:35

I know the because it was it was the community was was amazing, and it was okay.

SPEAKER_00 18:40

So so then I'll say this. Also, I came back after really thinking about things, and it was like the familial community part was like wow, and that's what you're craving. I I miss this, but I also have to say I thought about what I currently have, yeah, and there's production value, and there is there's not a lot of dilly-dallying, it's well rehearsed.

SPEAKER_02 19:14

Yes. If we're comparing from if we're doing the production value of of where we came from is everything like every slide or every anything that has gone on to a projector is meticulous. And they all match. So meaning that they're all branded, whatever series that is in the same way.

SPEAKER_00 19:35

And it looks very seamless, and it's easy for my brain to just stay on track.

SPEAKER_02 19:43

But you're saying from what but you lack the the the community aspect of it. She's if for all those why she just held her. I got quiet.

SPEAKER_00 19:58

Hold on. She got very quiet. We're pausing for technical difficulties. And we're back.

SPEAKER_02 20:07

That was an oh amazing transition. Oh crazy. So from what I'm hearing you say, and I might have repeated myself from what I said last time is because we can't remember. Because I can't remember. Their production value might be I don't want to say better because it's it's all subjective, but you know, it I'm gonna say I had an appreciation for what I have. Yes, but at the same time, the community aspect of it I you know seems more tight. It it was at at the other church. And so So I think that's I think that's what you have to go into when you're church shopping is what do you want?

SPEAKER_00 20:50

What do you want? Yeah. And it also triggered me to think because I don't think you're gonna get it. I don't think that you want at every church. You're absolutely right. So one of the things I thought about this week was if my intention is to stay where I am, yeah, how do I foster some of the community with some of that feel good? How do I bring that to where I am? And also am I in a place where I can communicate with this the staff at my current church? Can I bring these concerns? You should be able to. I I should. I should. And we've we've talked about this, you know. So this is this is not knocks on anything. It's a how I visited a completely different staff this week. Yeah. Also, the current staff of where I currently go has mostly new. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 21:52

There's definitely been a changeover. So I don't have the same but changeover, but still with majority of it, people who use Known or knew some of them, may okay, maybe.

SPEAKER_00 22:05

Yeah, no, no, I'm not saying I don't know them, it's just yeah, how do I how do I bring up concerns? And I think anytime you say you have concerns, because it's not a concern, it's not complaints, yeah, it's desires for more. Oh, yeah. So, and if I bring that up, what does it look like? And if I you know, sometimes when you bring things up in larger places, and this is not this is not just where we are. I was talking to a friend this week and she was talking about in her church too, and it is in a totally different state. Oh, yeah. And she and it's kind of like, okay, yeah, I love that idea for you. You should start that. That that is a very popular thing.

SPEAKER_02 22:46

I I I have said that to people.

SPEAKER_00 22:47

Yes, it's like I if that is on your heart, oh, we just want to give that blessing.

SPEAKER_02 22:52

And because what people don't always understand is with churches, everyone has their own thing that they're that that they're going after, their own mission statement. And everything that they do is based upon that that mission statement. Yes. So that's where the money's going. So, you know, if you're if your church is very like their mission statement has to deal with bringing people to Christ in their community, then everything is going to foster around, okay, how do how do we how do we do that? And if it's outside of that, it makes it really easy to say that's amazing, but that doesn't fit with our. But there's other churches who probably do foster that. Who probably do go after that.

SPEAKER_00 23:37

Yeah. So yes. Does that make sense? Oh, I think yes, it 100% makes sense. But what's funny is I know in my head, I'm like, I just don't want people to feel left out. Yeah. I don't, you know. So in my mind, I'm like, well, this is not just my personal mission statement. This should be for everybody. Yeah. But I can see where when people bring concerns, petitions, like whatever they're bringing, it's I can understand. I don't this is not like not defensiveness of them, but I mean where like you have to hold the request of people kind of at arm's length because like they're still the mission that they have. Yes. So I don't think I'll be would knock. I don't think if I brought this to them that they would be like, no. And some of it's more, how can I be more personable? How can I create and foster more community?

SPEAKER_02 24:35

And I we've always said that. Like when you go to a larger church, you it's you can make it small, but you have to be willing to put in the work and make it small.

SPEAKER_00 24:49

Yes. And I think what I'm realizing is not necessarily that the church isn't doing that anymore. It's it's just transitioned in its different people. So the people I was doing it with are not there. Yeah. Sorry. It's okay. It's not, it's not just you. It's not just you. But but that the way we mentioned earlier, like communities ebb and flow. They do, yes.

SPEAKER_02 25:18

Except for that community and the other church, it felt like it's very much the same community. But they brought in they brought in new people.

SPEAKER_00 25:25

There's new people. I I would say of the people that I rec, I probably hugged 20% of the church. Yeah. Which is a lot. Which is pretty good. And the other 80% I had no idea who they were. Which is amazing. So but that that does speak to my heart of how important community is. Yes. And I felt very welcomed. I felt very welcomed back. I yeah.

SPEAKER_02 25:53

Which is lovely, which is going to be an interesting transition. Welcome back. As we for the next two weeks, we will not be church shopping because one, it is Palm Sunday and then also Easter.

unknown 26:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 26:05

So I was like, you you need to be with your family.

SPEAKER_00 26:07

Yes. I will just be. I'll be, yeah, we'll be hanging with our families the next two weeks, and we're both going on vacation.

SPEAKER_02 26:14

We are going on vacation. So we definitely will have a week off. Yes. Where we will not have, sorry, no, no new episode. What will you guys ever do with an hour of your week?

unknown 26:23

I know.

SPEAKER_02 26:24

But for Easter, I'm trying to find, okay, where, because my family's asking me, where are we going to go for Easter? I'm like, I don't know yet.

SPEAKER_00 26:34

I have an idea, but we'll say it off. Oh, I love that. I think we're mentioned it. We've mentioned it.

SPEAKER_02 26:39

I think I know we're going to go for Good Friday. I know. Do you want to? Are you willing to say it doesn't bother me any because I do.

SPEAKER_00 26:48

But you're not, you're no you're saying you're you're gonna go on your own.

SPEAKER_02 26:51

I I'm gonna go on my own.

SPEAKER_00 26:52

And I would go with you had had I been in town, but I'm not gonna be in town.

SPEAKER_02 26:56

No, I and I I honestly think that I need to do this on my own. And you know, is there fear that all of a sudden everything's gonna, you know, security's gonna come and then kick me out? I'm talking about going but not to to to to the main campus of the church I used to go to. Yeah. Which I didn't, that's not the one I I worked at. So, but I think for for healing for me, I just need and I love I love Good Friday service there. Yeah, it is one of my is probably my my favorite service besides Thanksgiving Eve. So I I think I'm gonna I'm gonna I'm gonna go and see what happens. And I'm thrilled. Will I be walking in the corner in the dark and sitting in the back by myself? 100%. Will I cry? Probably.

SPEAKER_00 27:48

We'll see. You know, I I just I just want to do a small callback to, you know, I in previous weeks, it was funny because I said, you know, like we're not always called to go backwards. No.

SPEAKER_02 28:02

However, I think this I honestly think this is more of This is not backwards. I think this is more of a of a step forward for me. Yes. And not saying that I, you know, well, I think I just yeah, I just need to, I need to go.

SPEAKER_00 28:17

I think there's healing in in the same way, me walking back into the church that I hadn't attended in 13 years, I wasn't look I didn't was not looking for healing, stepping back in there. Yeah. But there was something that happened that I realized an answer to prayer that I'd had for many, many years, and I hadn't prayed it in a long time because I haven't been there. Yeah. But when I realized that there was an answer there, I thought, God, you're so good.

SPEAKER_02 28:48

Because I love the message. I so for you, community is was so big, a feeling that for me, like I love the message at our old church.

SPEAKER_00 28:59

Yes. And and there's nothing. Your current church, my former church. Yeah, I haven't abandoned yet. Yeah, you have not. It's just interesting, you know, like there's never gonna be a perfect place. There's never gonna be a perfect church.

SPEAKER_02 29:12

You know, there's things on like because I can have the mashup of every church is run by humans, and humans are so imperfect and flawed, and we make mistakes, and and and it comes down to you know, what you agree with. Do you agree with 90% of of what is said? And you know, when there are mistakes made, you know, are you able to when you're human? Anyway, when people start screaming in the middle of service, they have a question.

SPEAKER_00 29:42

I not the weirdest thing I saw at that church, but you know.

SPEAKER_02 29:48

But you're not used to people be very, very comfortably being able able to do that.

SPEAKER_00 29:52

I was like, okay. However, I came from a really go ahead. Oh, prior to that, I came from a Lutheran church, very tiny, of honestly, all I mean, I'd gone to several Lutheran churches. That's the denomination I grew up in multiple states as I moved as a child. Like it was the liturgical, like stand-up, sit-down hymns. Oh you know, it was the call and response. So anything out of the norm of that was, you know, an adjustment for me that many years ago. But it was even surprising to come back to.

SPEAKER_02 30:26

So I will say, like, their call to prayer after service and the amount of people who stayed and prayed was amazing. Loved it. So many people stayed after to receive prayer. And there's that was one thing that I and they have a prayer. Did you I they have a prayer room off of the I saw time. Yeah. And I don't know what that was for. I really wanted to, I was curious, but I'm like, ooh, it says like there's a door, it says prayer room. I'm like, is that for like what is that for? Do you know?

SPEAKER_00 31:03

I think that's okay. So that that prayer room has been there before. Okay. Um I think it's anybody who's needing, you know. Like I keep thinking, like, if you have a you needed media privacy.

SPEAKER_02 31:17

Yes, that's what I thought. Can I tell a prayer story from that church? Of course.

SPEAKER_00 31:23

We love stories. Okay. So when I had my third baby, it was a really hard pregnancy, and I was on bed rest the majority of that pregnancy. Uh-huh. And there was 12 weeks during that pregnancy that not only was I but I was also trying to work. Yes. So my mom would get me for church, stick me in a wheelchair, and she would wheel me around because TM, my my placenta was tearing. Oh, yeah. Detaching, is that right? Detaching. Yes. It was, it was, it was not so there's a certain point in pregnancy where it can totally reattach, but if it detaches, you're having that baby. Yes. And so at this point, I am uh under 20 weeks. And uh obviously there would not have been a chance of survival. So I was allowed to be in a wheelchair. Okay. And so I was being wheeled around constantly. And I we were approaching the Easter season, much as we are now. Mm-hmm. And I knew I had this really big thing planned for Easter, and I was like, I don't know how I'm gonna do this if I can't walk. I just I don't, I don't know how I'm going to be able to do all this. And my mom was just so lovely, you know, volunteers were zipping me around church. I love that, yes. And so I said, I gotta take me up for prayer. Wheel me up for prayer, mama.

SPEAKER_02 33:01

I love that.

SPEAKER_00 33:03

And so in between services, I had my next volunteer come in and I was like, Okay, I'm gonna go get prayer. And they're like, Yeah, go do it. It was that was just so much of the culture there. Yeah. And so I I get wheeled up for prayer, and part of healing prayer is that they'll say, Okay, what needs healing? And this was our senior pastor who was, and he was like, Okay, stuff, you know, tell me exact, I want to speak exactly to what needs to be healed. Yes. And I said, I need the placenta to reattach. And this is a man who has his own children, so he knows what a placenta is. But also his like, I need to pray, and he was like, you know, hand out, and I was and he had this moment of like, oh, I I think she's asking for you could just see everything processing of where do I put my hands? Where did he put his hand? He put his hand, one on my shoulder and one just kind of hovering over my body, you know, perfect as I'm I'm seated. I'm in a wheelchair as well. Yes. It was the correct way, but I watched him train and process of what do I do here? And it was in a healing prayer, you want to speak specifically to what the issue is if you can. And so, you know, he is praying for that placenta. And it was, I I got the giggles as as I do because I'm I'm laughing. I'm like, my pastor is praying for my placentas, blind blind placenta and my cervix to stay closed and all of these. And it was so specific and so wonderful. And he did it without skipping a beat. Uh, there was no embarrassment. And that I, to me, honestly, like when I was watching like the crowds come up, not crowds, but I mean like just it was not abnormal at that church, and I'm so thankful that's still their culture that 25%, 50% of the church is gonna go up and get prayer. Yeah. There was no stigma to whatever you were going through. If you still needed healing prayer, you know what? If your shoulder's still acting up, well, we're just gonna keep praying for it.

SPEAKER_02 35:20

Well, he actually caught up before prayer, like, hey, I feel like there's somebody here who is struggling with I think it's autoimmune. Yes. And if that's you, you know, please come up and receive prayer. Like, yes.

SPEAKER_00 35:32

I'm like, oh, okay, I love that. So yeah, I I was the fact that that is still the culture of that. I was like, I love that because that's what I came from. That's that church changed how I viewed so much. Oh, that's amazing. It changed how I viewed prayer because I think not to say that in the Lutheran church, when like we didn't pray with expectancy, but it was it was a rehearsed prayer. It was a memorized prayer. It was a read prayer because that's what you prayed on the third Sunday of Epiphany. Yeah. Not because it was the feeling of the room. You know, we talked about the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost. Yes. And this church was the first one that really started, and it was my first non-denam church where it was really focused more on the Holy Spirit, not Holy Ghost, Holy Spirit, same thing, but the way that it was explained to me was different. I started praying with expectancy. Yeah. And I started praying in a much different, bolder way, which is what's interesting. Is a few weeks ago I told you I went to a healing prayer service at my current service, it was a training. And one of the things that God called, you know, my name on was like, you've been passive at your praying. Yes. And to step back into this and see like these are your roots. This is how I taught you to pray for people. This is how I taught you to go up for prayer. Whether you like think someone's going to be, if you're praying, if you go up and you're like, dude, I'm just having a bad, I'm not, I'm I'm in a funk and I'm having a bad day. You should feel free to go up and receive prayer. No matter what. No matter what. And that culture is not present at every church. No, in that way. No. It definitely was there. And it was there, and I was so happy to see it. In fact, one of the people who sent me a message was like, I heard you were there. I was there. Why I why didn't I see you? And I said, Because you had a line for prayer. For prayer. Yeah. And as much as I would have loved a hug, that was way more important. So so much more important. And I and it f it was as warm to me as a hug to see that still happening. Yeah. And yeah, that was lovely. And yeah, I just I loved it. So yeah, moving. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 37:51

All that to say, we are still gonna continue to shop. But we are taking two weeks off.

SPEAKER_00 37:59

Two weeks off, but we're gonna try. Yeah, we're not taking two weeks off the podcast. We're taking two weeks off of the church shopping. But also we're church shopping together. We are church shopping together. But you are going to try and find someplace.

SPEAKER_02 38:13

I'm gonna try to find someplace for I think I know we're gonna go for Good Friday. Yeah. So now apparently all the few hundred people who listen to this will know where I'm going for Good Friday.

SPEAKER_00 38:22

She didn't say what location. I did I said the main camera. Oh shoot, you did. I didn't say it. And I just said it didn't.

SPEAKER_02 38:27

She might change her mind. I might change my mind. I might not go. No, I I I I'm pretty positive I will I will attend. Oh, depending on my mood. And when I get home from work also. I will I yeah, I will be praying. Thank you. And then uh we gotta figure out where we're gonna go for Easter.

unknown 38:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 38:45

Because where will you be for Easter?

SPEAKER_00 38:48

I will be at the Magic Kingdom in Disney World.

SPEAKER_02 38:52

Nothing says Jesus more like Mickey Mouse.

SPEAKER_00 38:56

To be fair, when we booked it, I had no idea it was Easter. I will be truly I did I was not looking.

SPEAKER_02 39:02

Well, we were looking at spring break dates. When you look at spring break dates, and most people who go on spring break for you know who have kids in high school who go on spring break, you book so far and about out that you don't even pay attention to the to like the the e the calendar for was not looking and my husband works for a school district and my kids attend a school district in their different districts and then we have different spring breaks.

SPEAKER_00 39:24

So we're he is we are going half on his spring spring break and half on our kids' spring break. So the week when it was inevitable, like there was no other, yeah. So this year felt Doug, who works for a school different than our than Faith goes to.

SPEAKER_02 39:42

It actually worked out that we're on the same same week.

SPEAKER_00 39:44

It's it's never been a different week. So this is this is odd for us. And but one of the really sweet things is my sister and brother-in-law decided to join us. Oh yay! And they are fostering the sweet, sweet baby girl that we just love to pieces. She's two and a half. Oh, and we'll be going to Disney for the first time. And so Abby is like, who's always been the youngest cousin, is like has been just so thrilled to love on her and just she's like, I get to take her to meet the princesses.

SPEAKER_02 40:18

And one of one of my nephew's girlfriends is one of the princesses. Are you serious? That's so cool. I'll show you, I'll show you a video. Okay, because I I I she's a stunning, stunning young lady, and I said we better put a ring on that.

SPEAKER_00 40:33

Oh, that's so fun. So, anyways, yes, while we will not be attending church and the regular thing, we will be with family and they they love Jesus. We will be Jesus has risen. I will see in the magic kingdom. I am gonna see if there's anything happening, any services. Maybe there might be something. A lot of hotels have.

SPEAKER_02 40:57

I bet they will definitely have Easter bunnies or eggs around. Maybe nothing to do with the actual resurrection of Christ, but listen, he is risen.

SPEAKER_00 41:09

I will see who texts my mom or I. My mom and dad both text me he has risen every single Easter. Oh, do they really? To which I respond, he is risen indeed. Oh. Because old habits, you know, because you know what? It doesn't matter what denomination you are, like that is like that call and response does not get old because he him rising does change everything. Easter is also a service that I always cry at. It's a service. It's you know, Easter is like it's not something that's happened in the it's yes, it happened in the past, but celebrating it is a renewal. Yeah. And what he has done is a very present thing. It is not something of the past. Our forgiveness is not like because I continue to screw up. So forgiveness is clearly still always in the work. So it's one of those things you have to I try and remember about Easter, is it's not just something that we believe, it's something that it's it's it's it's a part of, you know, it's it's constant.

SPEAKER_02 42:12

It's yeah the even in our in our reading today, if if you are following along, we're in Joshua, and they're you know, all of the land has now been divvied out, everything is at rest, all their enemies, God has handed over to them, and it says, you know, they're at rest and everything is is great. And then I thought about it, I'm like, well, it's not at rest for very long.

SPEAKER_00 42:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 42:37

Because we keep screwing up.

SPEAKER_00 42:40

Well, yeah. But you know, I think just kind of the reminder of Easter is that, you know.

SPEAKER_02 42:45

Which guess my point is like that's the whole point of Easter, is like it's not at rest long because we keep screwing up because we're waiting for the Messiah to come. And even with the Messiah, we keep screwing up, but but because of his grace, because he is willing to go to the cross for us, which that scene, if they show that scene from whatever movie brings me to tears every single time. It's graphic, and it's it's it's graphic for a reason because that is the reality of what Jesus did for us. And that is so hard to understand sometimes. That why would somebody go through so much pain because of me, because I am so screwed up and I deserve it.

SPEAKER_00 43:28

And we have to remember the gravity. Yes. We have to remember the gravity of what he did, what he does. Because not only does it not change, it's just, you know, how easy it is for us to be like, okay, what are we having, you know, what are the outfits are we wearing? You know, what is the meal we're having? And I'm like, wait a minute. That's not the point. No. We have to, you know, what he hit what he's done, what he continues to do, the gravity of And sometimes we're like, I'm really stressed about Tuesday.

SPEAKER_02 44:09

Really stressed about money. Yeah, I'm really stressed about my car not working or all these things.

SPEAKER_00 44:14

And no matter what is our thing, if if we can trust him with eternity, we can trust him with our vehicle.

SPEAKER_02 44:21

But you know, Easter should put it in make us fully understand the, you know, all of our first world problems are just exactly Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 44:31

If we believe it changed everything, we need to live in that reality. So and that really is that we are not earning anything. We're not no.

SPEAKER_02 44:41

And every time you try to earn your way to God's heart without Jesus, laughable.

SPEAKER_00 44:46

Yeah, it's not gonna work.

SPEAKER_02 44:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 44:48

So it means we're not stuck in what we've earned. Because what we have, I shouldn't say we're not earning what we have earned is garbage. Like we're not stuck in our past. We don't have to carry everything alone. His carrying the cross is is is carrying us. If I could tell one more quick story that deals with Easter with the church that I worked at was one of my very favorite things, is I taught all the baptism classes. Oh. And I taught the kids side, and then there was a couple that taught the adults, but we were always in the same room. Yeah. We would kind of break off and we would explain it, and then we would come back together. And so I'm explaining it to this one little boy, and he said something to me that will forever change the way that I view baptism and I view Easter. Yeah. And so he raises his hand and he says, Miss Stephanie, and I said, Yes. He goes, I'm ready to be baptized. Bathtized. Baptized. Okay. And so it was such a God moment that I didn't correct him. Yeah. I said, okay. I was please tell me why. You know, why do you feel like you're ready? And he said, because I believe in Jesus that He He died for my sins. And I said, Wonderful. Mm-hmm. Yes. And he said, and I, and when he did that, it's like he gave us all a bath. And I said, okay. Explain to me. He said, yeah. He goes, all the dirty stuff I've ever done will ever do when I go under that water, it all washes off and I come out clean. And I said, Chance, it would be my honor to baptize you. It would forever be bat called baptized. So every time I watch a baptism, I, which is why I cry every single time. Same, me too. I remember, you know, him calling it baptism. And it's a reminder to me every single time, every time somebody goes under that water, it's the same way that Jesus went down and he came back up. And he came back a new person. And because he came back up, we become new people. I shouldn't say he became a new person, he was the same person. Yes. But his rising made us new people. Yes. Clean people.

SPEAKER_02 47:28

I think we overcomplicate everything as adults. So to hear it's so simplistic from a child. You're like, oh yeah, we we we make it way too hard.

SPEAKER_00 47:39

We make it complicated. And Jesus didn't make it hard at all. And it doesn't need to be that way. And yeah. So our outcome's not uncertain. No. And I think that's hard. Part of the things that we do when making it complicated is, I don't know this. I don't know this. I don't feel and shoot, you're not oh, we've done that here.

SPEAKER_02 47:56

Yeah. If if you're waiting to get baptized, or if you're waiting for everything in your life to be perfect before you say, walk into a church or or any of that, it's never gonna happen. And it can't happen until you walk into a church because the only way that your life can become the way that it's supposed to meant to be is until you say yes to Jesus.

SPEAKER_00 48:20

Yeah. And when we're doing that, we're not fighting for the victory, we're living in it. Yep. And Easter is a reminder of that. So yeah, you know, we can't say thanks, Jesus, I'll take it from here. No, but we try. Yeah. So yeah, if we're gonna trust with an attorney, we can we can certainly trust him, you know, with our everyday life. So yeah. So, you know, I think Easter is a time when we can be rema reminded of those things. We can stop overcarrying the stuff that we feel like we have to carry on our own. Yeah. Just trust him instead of overthinking absolutely everything. If you feel like you need to step back in that church and go to that because you've loved it, don't overthink what it's gonna be like and who's gonna say hi or who's gonna see me, or how I'm gonna react. Am I gonna cry? You know, all those things just go.

SPEAKER_02 49:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 49:15

Don't overthink it. It's you were you're feeling that calling for a reason. So I hope that gives you some peace over feeling the pressure of walking back in.

SPEAKER_02 49:29

I I'm just making a face.

SPEAKER_00 49:31

I know.

SPEAKER_02 49:32

I yeah.

SPEAKER_00 49:34

So I I I think in all this is a lot of what I think our fears and things is we want to make things comfortable for people. We want to feel like we have passion and purpose and all of these things. I don't think everything needs to feel so intense all the time.

SPEAKER_02 49:49

No, nine times out of ten, we build up the fear into something that it should never have been.

SPEAKER_00 49:56

So while I feel like we oh, Easter is a time to to lean into the gravity of what he has done. Let's remember that he picked up the weights.

SPEAKER_01 50:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 50:06

So we don't have to feel as heavy as so sometimes we make it. We can trust him. So yeah. We don't have to stay stuck. No, we don't. We are clean in our baptisms, lady. Yes, we yes, we are. So I think we can take today and the next week to say, let's just live in that. We get to live in the victory of what he's done. Absolutely. And we will see you in two weeks. Have a great week.