Rewilding and Embracing Country Living with Hillarie Maddox

What would it take to leave the hustle and bustle and build the life of your dreams? Hillarie  Maddox, founder of Black Girl Country Living and the creative force behind Rewilding Experiences, joins me to share her transformative journey from the busy lifestyle of Seattle to the harmonious tranquility of Whidbey Island.

We discuss the intuitive grace of finding the right home, and the courage it takes to leap from corporate security into the embrace of entrepreneurship. Hillarie  and I explore what it looks like to tune out the clamour of expectations in order to find our own inner guidance that leads to our personal dreamland.

In this episode we discuss:

• What the rewilding experience means
• Leaving the corporate world for entrepreneurship
• Listening to your inner self
• Being present in nature
• Listening to your intuition

Guest Bio

Hillarie Maddox is a mother, homesteader, community builder, and the founder of Black Girl Country Living. In 2020, she left the city for a slow life in the country, fell in love with nature, and found deep healing in the process. Since then, Hillarie left her career at Amazon to design Rewilding Experiences, healing spaces to connect back to ourselves, community, and the living world.

Follow Hillarie on Substack
Follow Hillarie on Instagram

This episode was produced by: Six-Two Studio
___

Mari Roberts is an Energy Healer, Psychic Guide, and Lifestyle Mentor with over 15 years of experience in the corporate and non-profit world. She helps high-achieving women rise above the grind, find deeper meaning, and live into their most fulfilling life possible. Through energy healing, coaching and private mentorship, Mari places focus on healthy activations that welcome more balance and joy.

Resources:
Life Activated Course
Radiant Life Program
Community Energy Healing

Find Mari:
Website - marirobertslife.com
Instagram - @marirobertslife
Linked In - @mariroberts

Transcript

Mari Roberts:

0:02

You deserve to have the life that you desire. Your passions are a part of you for a reason, and when you don't follow your passions or listen to your call, things can get rough. You don't have to take some massive, intimidating leap. One small step each day leads to lasting change. So let's get started by accepting our passions are here in the first place, because this is life activated. I'm your host and guide, Mari, here to help you recenter life on your passions and purpose, so you can feel good inside, because you deserve it.

Mari Roberts:

0:57

Okay, I am so excited today. You have no idea. I have, I think, I'm pretty sure, one of the coolest human beings ever on the Life Activated Podcast. I think cool and you're going to hear from this person. But I'm just going to say immediately, immediately. When I met this amazing human being on Instagram, of course, because that's how I meet everybody I was like I love this woman. She's so cool, I would love to have her on the podcast. She's going to inspire so many people. And you said yes when I reached out to you like a weirdo, yes. So without further ado, I'm going to have you introduce yourself and then we'll dive in.

Hillarie Maddox:

1:39

Sure, sure. Thank you so much, so kind, so many kind words. My name is Hillarie Maddox. I am the founder of Black Girl Country Living creator of Rewilding Experiences. I live here in the Pacific Northwest, formerly in Seattle, now on Whidbey Island, and I hang out here with my husband. I have two young kiddos and a couple of ducks and just kind of living a life in nature. My signs you want me to share a few, a little bit about that.

Mari Roberts:

2:11

Yeah, I love it. I just gave it. If you're watching the video, you know I just made a little face. But I just made a face like yes, the signs go for it. You didn't have to prompt you.

Hillarie Maddox:

2:20

Okay, okay, so Sagittarius, I don't know more than that, but I would love to know. I'm an INFP and my energy? What are they called exactly 16 slash seven? I forget exactly what. Those are the energy numbers, numerology numbers Okay.

Mari Roberts:

2:44

Okay, life path. I think Life path, okay, yeah, all right, this is exciting. So maybe your life path is seven. Yeah, yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. This is so cool.

Mari Roberts:

2:56

I can't wait to get started on this conversation because, again, I met Hillarie through Instagram. I don't even remember how I stumbled on you, but I was just like I love this girl and she lives on like my favorite Island ever. I love would be Island. Would be Island was part of the journey for me to uncover my gifts and it was simply because I went on a vacation there and met this woman who owns an amazing floral shop who, basically, by a post she made, guided me to the first person that would become like my mentor and the space. So I just feel like would be Island, such a magical place. I always love going there and we'll talk a little bit more about how you got there and all the good stuff and I love that you're a Sagittarius and you'll hear other people talk about Sagittarius. What I'll say is I'll introduce you to a few people who can give you like a full reading and tell you all the good stuff about it, just because it's great. But I have two Sages in my life my mom and my older brother. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Mari Roberts:

4:11

All right, before we dive into all the questions, Hillarie, it's going to be time for your card reading. I use the same deck every season. It is Guide by Spirit, oracle deck, it's by Asia Deshore and I just think she's thebombcom, and I love the artwork. You'll see it in a second. This message is for you, but it's also for anyone else who's listening. It's for me. If you're listening, whether you're listening for the first time or you're listening in a year from now, this message is for you and resonant for you. So the card and I always pull a card beforehand, by the way, and I don't look at it or connect into the message until we're on on zooms live, but this card is flow. Oh, I love this one. It's going to be kind of hard to see, but you can see the ships Beautiful, yeah.

Mari Roberts:

5:06

And then it's like that gold leaf for the lettering so pretty, right. Love that. All right, let's connect and see what this is all about. All right, I just heard right away like flow with life. It's like a dance, it's like a dance it's like the tango or like the salsa.

Mari Roberts:

5:35

It's easy, it's fluid. That's interesting. So it's in a form of a question, but you don't have to answer this. It's where are you not in flow right now? Where are you not dancing and feeling the ease? And it's as simple as this is so funny. It's as simple as one, two, three.

Mari Roberts:

5:55

It's as simple as dancing and allowing yourself to be in flow, because when you're in flow is when you have the answers. It's when things become more easy. They don't feel as getting the sense of like heavy or like you feel like you have to push, and it's just about allowing yourself to flow so that it can come. I heard how do I say this to you she can push. I heard how do I say this to you she can push. So wherever you're feeling out of flow, check yourself to see if you're in the pushing mode and allow yourself to remember that it's just as easy as a dance. And if you even need to literally just like get up and dance in that moment, give yourself that freedom to do so so that you can just kind of remind yourself physically that it's the simplest flow. Does that make sense?

Hillarie Maddox:

6:49

Oh, my God, every bit of it, every bit of it, every bit of that. Yes, for so many reasons. Yeah, it's funny because I've had several mentors who've come into my life over this last year and words that they consistently use with me are like easeful, like I had a woman who I worked with a coach last year and she she introduced me to my she. I'm a mani gen. What is the? That's human design?

Mari Roberts:

7:18

Hello, you didn't mention human design in the intro.

Hillarie Maddox:

7:21

I'm sorry, I should have mentioned that it's okay, yes, and she's like. She's like Hillary. If you are, if you're pushing anything, if you're, if there's friction, you shouldn't be doing that. You, you create your own energy and you should be moving in the direction where it feels easeful. And I constantly have to remind myself of that, and there was just even this past weekend, the whole event we were just talking about, there was a lot of stuff that came up that I was like this doesn't feel easeful and I want it to feel easeful.

Hillarie Maddox:

7:52

So, yeah, there's. That resonates for so many reasons.

Mari Roberts:

7:56

That makes sense. And also, remembering being a man, I generate, you know managing, manifesting, generator. You can master something and move on, and that is perfectly fine. You can be into it and then totally out out of it and into something new, and that's totally fine. And so if you find yourself trying to push because you think you're supposed to keep doing it, it's okay to just let it go because you don't have to keep doing it. I think one of the biggest ahas and learnings is you can let it go to do the other thing that's coming in, and not feeling that because you're going to feel frustration when you're trying to push something. That's not for you to push anymore, not for you to master anymore. You can just move on to the next fun thing. Yeah.

Hillarie Maddox:

8:42

And there's so much just in my life in general where it's been like I'm getting a lot of direction and feedback from different people. So it's it's important, I think, for me to remember these things of like you know these, it's nice to have this sort of guidance, but like I can let go of these things, like this is also just you know, other people's sort of interpretation and I don't have to hold on to what other people always think and believe.

Mari Roberts:

9:06

Oh my God, 1000% so true. And it's always coming back to what's real for you and right for you. Do you know if you're an emotional generator or manifest generator? Do you know what your I don't know? That's okay. It's going to be important to kind of understand the authority behind it. You'll see it when you go look at your chart.

Mari Roberts:

9:27

But, for example, if you are an emotional generator, you need to ride the wave of your emotion whatever that looks like and I just learned that there's varying levels of what that could look like it could be very easeful to have it feeling moody. For me, I have like high highs and low lows, so I could be like yes, and then be disappointed and there's some different versions of that. And if you happen to be that kind of manifesting generator also knowing that you may have said yes to something or heard something, in that the high right Versus being able to ride the wave, to feel like what's yours to keep and what's not yours to keep what you can say no to.

Mari Roberts:

10:10

So just giving yourself that freedom and remembering that there are going to be a lot of experts, there are going to be a lot of people who have opinions. I think we all suffer from this, but what is true for your heart is the most important thing, and people may not like even what you are doing. People may even say, like I told you to do, that that's so stupid, blah, blah, blah, blah blah. But it doesn't matter. It's what's true for you is what's right. Yeah, my little preacher moment, sorry.

Hillarie Maddox:

10:42

All of that so so timely, so resonant.

Mari Roberts:

10:45

Thank you for, thank you for all of that, thanks for allowing me to go down that little rabbit with that. Okay, let's dive into the questions, cause we could chat like no one's here forever and I could not get to the questions. It would, yes, with like mother earth to kind of help guide those questions. And just so you know, it's not like I hear mother earth say like blah, blah, blah, do this or ask that. I just try to be connected into what's that energy would be to create a set of questions that are is going to be supportive of the conversation.

Hillarie Maddox:

11:41

Yeah.

Mari Roberts:

11:42

So the first question I actually have for you is how did your passion for I first wrote down country living emerged, but then I also wanted to say, like actually just rewilding how did that passion emerge in your life?

Hillarie Maddox:

12:00

Well, I think, first I should say that I grew up in the country. I grew up in a very rural area. I grew up in South Dakota and my grandparents owned farms, and so I think that it's kind of in my blood. And growing up in a place like that, though, you kind of always just want out and you think that there's more, there has to be more, kind of always just want out and you think that there's, there's more, there has to be more. And so I pursued a life and a career in the city and thought that that's like that's where happiness was and that's that's where success was and that's where life happened. And uh, I followed that for a long time and felt like you know, my life and happiness, joy was just like a promotion away. It was a you know just a company away. Like you know, I just had to find the right thing and it all just felt really hollow.

Hillarie Maddox:

12:57

And I think that that really really started to become apparent during the pandemic. And I mean, my husband had kind of had this like inkling, like we want to get out of the city, and it happened during the pandemic. It was kind of our window where we're like let's, let's try this and see if it works. And we made the leap and when we were out here, I was spending a lot of time outside and, by the way, like it's a, we live on a little bit over an acre of land. When we first moved here, I was pregnant with my second kiddo. I was like I don't know what we're going to do with all of this space around our house, Like I don't, I don't really want to be outside, Like I wasn't, like it wasn't a thing that I was really into, and we have the wooded area behind our house and it just felt like you know, the idea of like trees reaching out and like brushing my ankles freaked me out like ticks I don't know what's back there, and so I was not into this idea of like spending a lot of time outside.

Hillarie Maddox:

13:57

But I was also at a really low, low place in my life, just like coming through the anxiety of the pandemic, of this second civil rights uprising, like coming into who I am and try to figure out this new identity for myself.

Hillarie Maddox:

14:16

It just was a very difficult place in my life and I started stepping outside more and more and I just had this like.

Hillarie Maddox:

14:23

It was like as if somebody was speaking to me like you, like there was a calling and it felt very strong and I was just could feel myself shifting in a lot of ways, like emotionally, spiritually, in ways that, like, I'd never really been aware of, and I was just trying to figure out what the hell is going on, and so I was trying to find words for it and I was I'm a pretty voracious reader, I should say audio book listener and podcaster, and I was like somebody's got to have like language for this.

Hillarie Maddox:

15:01

And I kept coming across this term rewilding, and it was mostly in the context of, like ecology, of turning a space that was once inhabited into and letting it go back to its natural wild state, and I was like that is exactly what's happening inside of me right now, Like there's like this decompression happening, there's this realization and acknowledgement of who I am, without all of this external pressure. It felt like being outdoors, I was being witnessed as as a whole person and not having to show up as somebody who, like only a fraction of myself or somebody who this space expected me to be. It was transformative and I think that that was just the best way that I could describe what was happening.

Mari Roberts:

15:52

I love this. There's so much there. So there's two points I want to talk about One, the job thing and the corporate piece around. You'll be happy when you get the next promotion. You'll be happy when you get the next amazing job that pays blah, blah, blah and does blue, blue, blue.

Mari Roberts:

16:09

I think so many people listening will be able to relate to that. I know I literally just had a conversation with one of my clients today who is in that boat of you know, had been chasing these promotions and just today was just like it's not the promotion that I care about, it's the other values in her life that she thought was tied to the promotion, realizing that it's actually not. And again, our jobs are not the definer of our soul, you know. So I think that was like so many people are going to hear this and just be like OMG, are you in my mind right now how I feel about corporate? And then, as you were talking and you were talking about how you're not trying to be out in the nature but you kept feeling called I literally was imagined.

Mari Roberts:

17:07

I could like almost see I shouldn't say imagine I could see like the trees almost putting their arms out to pull you out and even right now, when I'm talking about it, I'm getting emotional, and so when I get this feeling of emotion in my eyes, it's actually like the sense of deep love and I'm again getting super emotional. But it's like the trees were calling you so that you could one, they could hold you in love, but so that you could experience your own love for yourself. And that is so beautiful and so powerful, and it was like they are still your biggest support. You know, when you're feeling ungrounded, just being out with them will help you to really settle in and to see the beauty of yourself as you are. So, yeah, just as you were talking about it, it was just like I could. I could literally like see them, feel them in that way and how they support you, even to this day.

Mari Roberts:

18:04

Absolutely in that way, and how they support you even to this day, and that's such a beautiful.

Mari Roberts:

18:08

It's such a beautiful thing and it's such a powerful thing when you realize how a space and how nature can, or whatever the circumstance it may not be, it may not be trees, it may be the ocean, whatever it is can call you to help you, because so often and this happens with clients too, like I will get these images like this thing whatever it is tree, ocean, pond wants to help you and support you and it's just realizing that we are so much more connected to the nature, to the nature, to nature. Then we realize if we could just slow down, we could hear it and feel it. Yeah, so beautiful. Oh, my gosh, as I blow my nose, it's so beautiful. And what I love to know is, on that same path now, and maybe even before, you know, as if you think back to even being a kid, you know what is your connection to the earth, and maybe it's not even the whole, the full earth, maybe it's like your property actually, and the earth on your property.

Hillarie Maddox:

19:22

I mean, I think it's a very like what you described about the trees holding me. I think of this tree I had in my front yard growing up, where I would like literally sit in it every evening and wait for my mom to come home and it, like it, held me. And you know, you grow up and you're just like, ah, it's just a tree, like it's no big deal. Grow up and you're just like, ah, it's just a tree, like it's no big deal. But you know, I think that I've realized that this space, and particularly like the trees on this property, they do give their wise and they, they give so much, they give so much love and add so much to the space.

Hillarie Maddox:

20:01

I think my connection is very spiritual and I think it is also this connection of like, realizing that my ancestors also, like, can speak to me through the land and that there's so many ways that I see people who and hear people and feel people who are not around just out in this space. And it's an act of like, it's an active sort of giving and taking to receive that. You know, being out in the garden and like, actively working and learning something about myself and being like, oh, that was a lesson that so-and-so was trying to teach me, so there's so many ways. I think that this land also keeps me connected to people who have passed.

Mari Roberts:

20:59

That's amazing and so beautiful, and it's also kind of interesting how it doesn't have to be in your hometown, right Like it could be somewhere completely different, and your ancestors can find you in the land that you need to be in. I have a question about the house. Did you like, did the house call to you? Do you remember that piece, or was it just like the only house and it happened to be available? I'm just curious because the way you have that connection with the land, I'm I'm wondering if it started even before you, even you know, sort of knew that. Oh, no wonder this worked out the way it works for us getting in that house.

Hillarie Maddox:

21:39

I mean, it's kind of a crazy story, Like we bought the house before things went like crazy during the pandemic in the housing market. So this was like July we are still fairly early in the pandemic and we had looked at one other house and my husband and I were being very intentional about where we wanted to buy the house outside of the city and like in the Seattle area, you can go north, south on I-5. And we had just gone on like day trips going both directions just to see how does it feel leaving the city in these different directions. And we definitely felt a call to go north and we originally started looking just off of I-5 and we had looked at one of the house with a real estate agent and then this house came on the market and I was like I think that this is the house. It's a single level, it has these big windows and my husband and I deeply believe in vision boards and it looked like a house on our vision board and I was like I think this is the house.

Hillarie Maddox:

22:46

And I went up with my mother-in-law the next day. We didn't have like a viewing or anything, the house was locked, we just wandered around the property and I was like this is it. We're going to put an offer on this house. And that night I wrote a letter to the owners of the house and just said how much we love this property. My husband had gone to like a summer camp in the town nearby here, and I think Whidbey is just a special place. It's a magical place and there's history about that I wanted to share with you too, because you shared about your connection to Whidbey. But it just felt so right and we got. We got the house.

Mari Roberts:

23:24

That's really cool, though, that you got the house so easily really, and that you all you did really was see it. You didn't even go inside and you knew it was a house. So I really do feel like in those moments, that is that sort of if you don't even need to see what's inside the house, you know that the house is the house, it's, it's, it was easy, that easy, you know, that's amazing. Okay, what were you going to say about Whidbey Island?

Hillarie Maddox:

23:53

Yeah, so just like historically this island has been sort of a gathering place from the time where indigenous tribes were across the region, whidbey Island was kind of the central place where a lot of the different bands would come during the summer and do like different kinds of games and just exchange information. It was kind of a central point and you know, to this day it's still sort of like this magical vacation spot for a lot of people and there's several islands in this area. But there's something I think unique and interesting about Whidbey Island in particular A hundred percent agree.

Mari Roberts:

24:35

I think Whidbey Island is like heaven, magic heaven. It's truly like one of my favorite places to visit and just spend time. Okay, so for you, now we're going to talk a little about intuition. What has helped you connect with your intuition?

Hillarie Maddox:

24:53

You know I was thinking about this the other day that I think I've always had a strong sort of sense, an intuition, strong sense of it. But I have also found a lot of ways to kind of turn it off and not listen to it. But I think in recent years, tuning into it has been a lot of me spending time in quiet and silence. We don't have a TV, we do, my husband and I do like a journaling practice. Every evening we just spend a lot of time sort of reflecting and introspecting. I really am interested in philosophy and just spirituality and not sort of sticking to any one religion or perspective and I think all of that has kind of informed my sense of intuition. And I've been doing a lot of work in therapy too. That I think has helped me trust that intuition.

Mari Roberts:

25:55

Yeah.

Hillarie Maddox:

25:56

And because I think it's one thing to hear it, I think it's another thing to like trust that you can follow your intuition and things will turn out okay. You can follow your intuition and things will turn out okay. I think that there's a lot of a lot of ways that we're taught that we can't trust ourselves and that we need to listen to somebody else. We have to, we should believe experts over our own selves and our own bodies, and so I think I'm I'm still sort of stepping into a place of I really want to be able to trust my intuition when I hear it, and I'm learning to do stepping into a place of I really want to be able to trust my intuition when I hear it, and I'm learning to do that more and more.

Mari Roberts:

26:30

Yeah, it's a practice too, Like I think that's the other thing that people forget, that it is a practice.

Mari Roberts:

26:36

So as you start to trust yourself and your intuition more, then it gets stronger and stronger. But sometimes we have to start small, especially when we've turned it off for so long. And guess what? I am a psychic, an energy healer, and I have areas in my life where trusting my intuition is still challenging, and that's like with my business, because it's so new to me still that I know I can trust my intuition in so many other spaces. But in my business it feels hard and I do find that I have to push myself to listen to myself versus feel like I have to listen to somebody else who knows better, because they have a successful business or they know how to you know, mentor, somebody you know because somebody else's way. Again, like even what we talked about earlier, everyone's going to have all these opinions, have all these thoughts, and they may be right for them and it may be expert opinion, but your heart, your inner knowing, may be guiding you in a different direction for a reason.

Hillarie Maddox:

27:41

Yeah, 1000%. I think this journey I've taken into entrepreneurship in this last year or so like really diving in. That is like a lesson. I keep relearning and keep relearning. Like you just want an easy answer and I think for so many parts of life it's like it's Googleable, it's just look it up on YouTube. But I think when you're creating a business that's really guided by something like a calling, like you cannot just look it up on YouTube. It really has to be something that is guided by your intuition.

Mari Roberts:

28:19

You have to tune in yeah, and I definitely have made some missteps, spent probably, probably more money than I'd like to admit on, you know, support and realizing that still I have the answers.

Hillarie Maddox:

28:32

Yeah.

Mari Roberts:

28:33

You have the answers and there is so much outside noise and you know it's wanting to not freak out your husband. For me it's like not wanting to freak my husband out on something that you know. Intuition is saying one thing, you know, yeah, or even my mom, you know, and because I'm the rational, reasonable one, right, and you know, having a background in corporate I think sometimes puts that in our brain too right. You know, yeah, like well, we have to do the rational, reasonable thing. Where sometimes our intuition isn't rational and reasonable, air quote to what our corporate life might have said would be rational and reasonable.

Hillarie Maddox:

29:16

Yeah, I think what you said too, about that we, we have the answer. And to me, this is like this is something that I, I've I've come back to so many times, because I find that I have an answer, but I'm like unsatisfied with that answer, or it's like the answers is this is just going to take a while, and that feels really effing. Can I swear, oh god, yeah, yeah, frustrating.

Mari Roberts:

29:44

The tagline says on the bottom there could be cussing sometimes, so it's all good, yeah, yeah.

Hillarie Maddox:

29:49

It's like, yeah, there's just like it's fucking frustrating because you want a shortcut and it's like, well, I've already done this or you know, I I don't want to do this and sit with this and I think it's so easy to just reach for somebody, somebody else's answer when you had the answer, and nobody else's answer is going to get you there any faster.

Mari Roberts:

30:12

Mm-hmm, patience is one of the hardest things that I deal with in terms of this business. Patience is not a strong suit of mine that I think we need so much of, and I think I've said this before, but I was in meditation once and the message was you know, slow is fast. It just depends on what dimension you're in. And that is, I think, the most important lesson I have with business is just because it feels slow to us, because we're being guided in a direction that might not be as fast as we want, it doesn't mean that it's actually slow. Yeah, it could to the outside person looking in, it's very fast. Person looking in it's very fast. We're doing exceptionally well, right.

Mari Roberts:

31:13

And so it's just reminding ourselves of that sometimes, but it ain't easy.

Hillarie Maddox:

31:17

And comparison.

Mari Roberts:

31:18

Comparison is a killer, total killer. I've been on a journey of unfollowing most people on Instagram, and not because I think I'm cool, but to help me not be influenced by anyone else or feel you know, grass is greener comparison, so I can just hear my own voice and share the message that I need to share A hundred percent. Yeah.

Hillarie Maddox:

31:42

I've gone on those. I've gone through a couple of those rounds. It is important and it's so easy to feel like your voice is drowned out. It's so easy to feel that way In your own head. It's easy to feel like you know I should be doing all these other things.

Mari Roberts:

31:59

Yeah, and you just have to remind ourselves that we're actually right where we need to be, doing it just beautifully. And as long as we are listening to that inner voice, we will continue to be successful and grow and grow and grow. And you said something earlier around that calling that we can't deny. That calling doesn't go away. So we're going to be successful no matter what, because that calling was given to us for a reason. Yeah, yeah, that's like the one big one I'm always like just remember, this shit isn't gonna like end tomorrow. You can't end it, you're not, you're not able to.

Hillarie Maddox:

32:41

I think that's that's important. I think for me as well, because, like one coming out of a corporate space, it's like you're always on these random timelines that are like we got to have this done by Q2. And like when you're the only one running a business, you're just like, oh, I, I, arbitrary deadline, I got to have it done by this time, and and for what. But also kind of the in the opposite direction, I think, as a on my creative side and as a writer, I find that there's these moments where I'm just like, oh, but if I write this down now or if I tell this this story, like it's going to run out, like I'm not going to have anything else to write about. But I think a true calling is one of those things that it continues to pull you back in and you keep seeing it from new directions and you keep moving through seasons of your life and you see things in a new way. And yeah, it just it never does go away.

Mari Roberts:

33:38

I love it. I love it and I feel like it's so funny because I have a different question that I wanted to ask you, but I'm going to ask you this other question before I get to this other question, because you said the writer part. So how has living in a small farming community supported your work, your creativity?

Hillarie Maddox:

34:01

I find that there this is a very creative community and there's a lot of small business owners, a lot of young women running very interesting businesses, a lot of like fun markets that are popping up, and I think getting to be around that sort of creative spirit has given me a lot of energy to just go for it. I think that starting sort of sharing my story on Instagram, that you can kind of get be surrounded by this illusion that it's so easy that like that, like these businesses just happen and like that life just flows. So you know, effortlessly and like all of these things just happen. And I think getting to actually in the real physical world, get to meet up with some of these women who are running businesses, see the kind of effort and labor and the ups and downs that go into their different creative pursuits and downs that go into their different creative pursuits, it's energizing for me because, number one, it's like this real, tangible community that I have here.

Hillarie Maddox:

35:13

None of us are putting on a production for one another, we farm together and it just is a reminder that, like, creativity matters. I think that I didn't appreciate that and never saw it in myself when I was in a corporate space. I was just like I, just I just build training Like it's, it's nothing. And now I think, because I've slowed down, because I'm seeing how other people are channeling their creativity, I'm recognizing, oh, I am a creative person. I just didn't give myself the time and space to recognize it.

Mari Roberts:

35:49

Yeah, I would also bet that other people saw your creativity. You just were blinded to it, probably. Yeah.

Hillarie Maddox:

35:59

Took it for granted yeah.

Mari Roberts:

36:01

Yeah, yeah. I think so many people doubt or don't see their creativity because they're not an I'm not an artist or I'm not a blah, blah, blah. You forget that you have all this creativity and I guarantee you, in corporate you were doing creative things and you just maybe weren't able to harness it in the way that you can now or have the freedom to um. The word that's coming to me is like unleash it the way that you can now. Yeah.

Hillarie Maddox:

36:28

I recently read Questlove's book about creativity and he has such he like, just so beautiful the way he brings ideas together, and that's what he explains creativity as it's really just the bringing together of all of these different ideas in a new or unique, nuanced way. And when you put it that simply, I think it's so easy to be creative, as long as we're sort of like imagining how these different ideas can can create something different or new, yeah, without expectation.

Mari Roberts:

37:02

I think there's the other big thing because, again, especially if you are in the corporate world or have been in the corporate world, sometimes we put expectation even on our creativity, where it could just be. What if you just create something, to create it, and there's no expectation on it being great or amazing other than it made you feel good?

Hillarie Maddox:

37:23

Yeah absolutely. Yeah, we need more of that.

Mari Roberts:

37:27

Yeah, yeah, it's like the freedom, the no rules freedom, you know there's no rules to our creativity, truly just can embrace it.

Hillarie Maddox:

37:36

Yeah.

Mari Roberts:

37:37

Yeah, I love that. So my next question is about taking the leap. And you know, how did you get to that place where you had the courage to leap and say peace out, corporate. I'm going to really listen to my soul, to my heart, and take this risk to do this other thing.

Hillarie Maddox:

38:01

I mean I think it, it truly truly was a calling. I mean I think it truly truly was a calling. I mean the summer that I had my second kiddo. I just remember I was sitting out of my deck nursing him and I was like I just want to figure out a way to just live this way and not have to report to somebody any longer. And I made the commitment longer and I made the commitment and as soon as I made the commitment, it's it's like planting the seed and like all of the things that start to align around you. I found a couple of coaches. One coach was she specifically, very, very specifically helping helps uh, black, uh mothers who are in corporate jobs to leave their corporate jobs and start a service-based business.

Mari Roberts:

38:51

Amazing.

Hillarie Maddox:

38:53

And just gave me so much courage. I watched another woman who was an architect leave her job, who had just had her second kid as well, and it just emboldened me to be like I can do this, I can figure it out. And so I think that there was a lot of that happening. There was a lot of I had a lot of support at home. My husband he was like, yeah, do it. He came from an entrepreneurial background and saw both of his parents run businesses growing up.

Hillarie Maddox:

39:22

I did not come from that background, so this was like are you sure you can, are you sure it's okay? And like he had all the faith in me and I started doing these classes and like workshops at a local nursery. He showed up and was like watch the kids so that I could do them, and he was my biggest fan and just like testing the water in small ways. And then, I think more tactically, we hired a financial coach to help us figure out like how do we live smaller, how do we hold ourselves accountable to be on a budget, those sorts of things, and that has made a tremendous impact on. We still work with her and I think so much of being able to like allow ourselves myself this time, and space is, like you know, we've. We are making a very concerted effort to live smaller so that I can have time to get this thing off the ground.

Mari Roberts:

40:21

I love it.

Mari Roberts:

40:22

I love that, and the thing that stands out to me the most, I think, is having that partner who wholeheartedly believes in you, because sometimes, if you don't have that, it can make it harder for you to take a leap, and some people may not even take the leap because, even though their soul is like hello, I'm telling you this is what you are here to do and to give to the world.

Mari Roberts:

40:49

So to have a partner who was like go do the thing is really really important and amazing. And I would want to say to anyone who's listening who you feel like you don't have that partner, it doesn't mean that you don't take the leap. It just might mean that it can be a little more challenging, because sometimes it takes a while for the partner to get on board for what's happening in the life you know. So I think that's really amazing and just a lovely, lovely gift. I feel like your husband will get some gold stars major, yes, yes, major, major. So, talking about alignment, when you think about being in alignment, which to me, I see you and I feel like you're so in alignment right now. What has it felt like when you're not in alignment and how did you help bring yourself back into alignment, and I know that this can be something that happens like on a large scale, but it could also be even just smaller scale, small scale life things, you know, yeah.

Hillarie Maddox:

41:54

You know, I think a lot of this I'm recognizing for me shows up in my body in a lot of different ways and the longer I pay attention to this, the more I'm like how the hell did I move through life for so long not feeling this? Because it shows up in a lot of pain in my body and very specific parts of my body when I'm engaging with people who it just feels like I don't like this. This doesn't feel like a a meaningful engagement. It doesn't feel like it is something that is adding or like creating the right sort of energy I need in my life right now. I think a very specific example is that I'm I'm like I'm a very empathetic, very compassionate person and I've always felt this need to like hold on to relationships because I want you know it was something at one time. It was something that was important to me and I've had a really hard time acknowledging.

Hillarie Maddox:

42:57

Some relationships have a season and it's okay. Those relationships were there and they served me for a period of my life and now we've moved on and I think that I'm learning to listen to my body, tell me things like this relationship is no longer for you anymore when I'm out doing things in the world out, eating even simple things like that, like there's certain foods now that I can feel in my body Like this food just doesn't, it's not sitting well with you, and I think just learning to listen to my body and learning again to trust that what my body is telling me has some like truth to it, has been incredibly powerful and I think it continues to kind of keep me moving in alignment. Every single day I have these missteps and it's just this reminder of like this is a practice. This is an ongoing, you know, stepping moving towards that person who I want to be.

Mari Roberts:

44:03

Mm-hmm. Oh my gosh. Yes To everything that you said and just validating 100%. It's this journey always. It's a process, but I do love that you have started to connect to your body in all different forms. What foods don't feel good connecting to? Okay, this relationship actually is creating physical ailments in your body and deciding to do something about it, and I can totally relate with holding onto relationships that are ready to move on, and I think sometimes we can make it much bigger than it needs to be, other than just letting the person simply fall away. And yeah, some of these friendships, relationships do require conversation, but I do feel like there's some where you can just simply let it fall away and not feel guilty about texting or picking up the phone again or emailing again or inviting that person again, because I think energetically, that person knows too.

Mari Roberts:

45:10

Yeah, I agree, yeah, so it's just an interesting thing that we can go through in life and, as we get older, realizing that it's okay to release because it's also creating space for new people to come into your life. Who?

Hillarie Maddox:

45:25

are here to support you, absolutely. Yeah, that's.

Mari Roberts:

45:27

Absolutely. Yeah, that's so important, yeah, and it's so hard to remember that sometimes and I think we get stuck because of that. Yeah, that's so good, thank you. So, as we're wrapping up, I'd love to know if you have any advice for someone who is listening today, even in the future, who is thinking about rewilding or making a change to a slower pace of life. What advice would you have for them right now?

Hillarie Maddox:

46:02

You know, for me it was like, it was very drastic, like dropping everything, picking up a movie to the country, but it doesn't have to be that way for everyone, even though I think even this kind of life can be romanticized and it is a lot of work. And if it's truly like, if you just want to start moving towards, like, what does it mean to be more in touch with myself, more in touch with the world around me? I think it begins with everyday things of like, how do you connect with yourself? I think learning to recognize that I am nature, we're all a part of nature. You know, it's beautiful to be able to walk outside and be amongst the trees, but, like, being with yourself is also spending time in nature.

Hillarie Maddox:

46:50

And you know, I think creating that space whether it's through meditation, you know, journaling, sitting in the tub, like there's all these ways that we can like just be still and be with ourself and learn to trust ourself and love ourself I think that that's a big one and, like it's, the daily habits around, those things that sort of lead you to a place of rewilding. It's a journey. It's never going to be a destination. It's a matter of sort of unwinding and untangling ourselves from a lot of the systems, a lot of the ways of being and living, and the expectations and the, the unlearning. It's all of that stuff, and those things happen in just our day to day decisions and actions.

Mari Roberts:

47:42

That's like beautiful, Just if you are listening. My invitation is to rewind that part and listen to it one more time.

Hillarie Maddox:

47:50

Let that sink in.

Mari Roberts:

47:51

Let it sink in, oh my gosh. Seriously, I cannot even tell you, hillary, how amazing it was is to have this time with you. I just truly believe that you're such a thoughtful, truly believe that you're such a thoughtful, genuine, kind person, and I think that we are so lucky to be able to witness this, but to also be inspired and empowered by you, and I'm just so grateful that you were willing to come on this little show and share your story and answer questions for people, and I just want to open up the floor for you to share with anyone listening how they can find you and connect with you and become a part of your world.

Hillarie Maddox:

48:39

Thank you so much. This has been so lovely. Like, honestly, we could keep talking for a long time, totally, totally, for a long time. You can find me black girl country living on Instagram. I'm also on sub stack and I have my podcast, black girl country living available wherever you get your podcasts.

Mari Roberts:

49:00

It's amazing, and we'll link everything in the show notes too, so people can find you. Oh, my goodness, thank you so much for being here. I need to get out to what would be Island and visit you in human person form since we don't live that far from each other technically. We don't, yeah, yeah, and and I will wrap this. But it's so funny because we also both have like live in these sort of country towns, small towns.

Mari Roberts:

49:27

I live in a small town and I think that's a really interesting, cool thing that connects us. Yeah, anyway, anyway, everyone, this is really the goodbye If today's episode resonated with you. Share your thoughts and feelings in any review section, so let me know where you're at on your journey, sending you big love to bring those passions to life, because, remember, you deserve it.

This was a 6-2 Studio production. Find us at six-two.studio for all your creative sound needs.