Finding the Balance in Life with Les Alfred

Les Alfred from the Balanced Black Girl podcast joins us to share how she's creating waves in the wellness space for black women. Navigating the intricate dance between love, money, and personal expression, we unravel the misconceptions tying them together, and celebrate the individual journeys that lead us to where we're meant to be.

When the road to living authentically gets rocky, how can we trust that internal compass and steer through the fears of instability and past failures? Les and I dive into the importance of small, consistent actions that edge us closer to our dreams, while also reflecting on the beauty of staying true to yourself.

In this episode, we discuss:

• Following your passions
• Staying true to yourself
• Spirituality and Wellness
• Balanced Black Girl Podcast

Guest Bio

Les Alfred is an award-winning podcast host, speaker, and content creator. For nearly a decade Les has created inspiring, approachable wellness content leveraging her expertise as a personal trainer, nutrition coach, and certified yoga instructor.

As the host of Balanced Black Girl, a chart-topping weekly podcast, Les facilitates thoughtful interviews and insightful solo episodes exploring the various aspects of life that contribute to wellness. Balanced Black Girl covers everything from wellness, to productivity, to personal finance, to self-care. Her mission is to help others create nourishing habits that help them create necessary space to live their best lives.

Les’s Website: https://www.balancedblackgirl.com
Les’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/balancedles
Les’s X: https://www.twitter.com/balancedblkgrl

Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/balancedblackgirlpodcast
Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/balanced-black-girl/id1438982040
Spotify Podcasts: https://open.spotify.com/show/46muBfvOgp

This episode was produced by: Six-Two Studio
___

Mari Roberts is an Energy Healer, Psychic Guide, and Lifestyle Mentor with over 15 years of experience in the corporate and non-profit world. She helps high-achieving women rise above the grind, find deeper meaning, and live into their most fulfilling life possible. Through energy healing, coaching and private mentorship, Mari places focus on healthy activations that welcome more balance and joy.

Resources:
Life Activated Course
Radiant Life Program
Community Energy Healing

Find Mari:
Website - marirobertslife.com
Instagram - @marirobertslife
Linked In - @mariroberts

Transcript

Mari Roberts:

0:02

You deserve to have the life that you desire. Your passions are a part of you for a reason, and when you don't follow your passions or listen to your call, things can get rough. You don't have to take some massive, intimidating leap. One small step each day leads to lasting change, so let's get started by accepting our passions are here in the first place, because this is life activated. I'm your host and guide, Mari, here to help you recenter life on your passions and purpose, so you can feel good inside because you deserve it. Hello everyone, welcome back to the Life Activated Podcast. Today is the most epic day. We have the best guests. First of all, I should say I do really think everyone is the best guest.

Mari Roberts:

1:00

This person, though, is like someone that I connected with gosh I can't remember, it's been a couple of years A couple of years yeah, I think 2021 was when you were on my show and she is the goat of podcast, in my humble Mari opinion, and to be able to have her on this show to share more about her journey and her passions is like not only is a dream come true, but I really do know that she is going to truly inspire you to think about how you can bring your passions to life and also take action. And you'll hear more of her story. But I just want to. I'm planting the seeds. Planting the seeds, so, without further ado, I'm going to have you introduce yourself and then we'll go from there.

Les Alfred:

1:53

Perfect. Well, thank you so much for having me, Mari. So my name is Les. I am a Seattle native currently based in Los Angeles, and I am a fellow podcast host. I host a podcast called balance black girl. That is all about wellness and personal development, specifically highlighting the experiences of black women.

Mari Roberts:

2:15

Yes, Les is being like slightly modest, less has. What do you have? Like a million downloads now, seven million, seven million. God, what did I say? The million? From what did I? What was the million? I don't remember I don't know.

Les Alfred:

2:32

It's probably still listed somewhere, because I don't update my stuff as often as I should okay okay, it's probably it's not, I got it from your website.

Mari Roberts:

2:38

So, yeah you, seven million downloads. See, this is what I'm saying. She is Amazing and I think you're just being so modest about it because you have also inspired me to you know, see the possibilities of building community through podcasts and sharing your voice, and you always show up really true, true, I believe, to who you are and that's something that we just don't see enough of. So I really love it and appreciate it, and I love that you're also in LA and I'm in your home area, which is also so funny. I know we switched and we still have not met in person during pandemic, so can you share also some other ways that people can connect with you or identify with you, being through the little bit of, I call it the woo, the mystical?

Les Alfred:

3:32

Yeah, so from an astrology standpoint, I mean I can go through my whole chart, but my big three are Leo, sun, taurus, moon, libra rising. This is why I like you so much. Oh, thank you. What are yours?

Mari Roberts:

3:47

I am a Taurus sun. I am a Leo rising and a Capricorn moon. Love it.

Les Alfred:

3:55

I love that I have a cap stellium, so I love Capricorn energy. Oh my gosh, that's so funny. I love that.

Mari Roberts:

4:00

So good.

Les Alfred:

4:01

What else? Human design manifesting generator.

Mari Roberts:

4:04

Oh. So that's a five, one manifesting generator to be specific, oh yeah.

Les Alfred:

4:16

Do you know your authority?

Mari Roberts:

4:21

I don't remember my authority. I could look it up, though. I have my chart somewhere, so five one. That means that you do if I. If I remember this right, it's like you do learn and then you like teach If I remember that correctly. Yeah.

Les Alfred:

4:32

Yeah, I'm going to open up. I have my. I have a copy of my soul map.

Mari Roberts:

4:38

Um, I got a soul map too.

Les Alfred:

4:40

Yes, the soul maps are the best.

Mari Roberts:

4:44

And I think I've mentioned this on more than one podcast. My husband shared his soul map with his therapist and I literally just got totally. I just got a new therapist and I'm like I need to share my soul map with her so she just knows a little bit more about me and can use that information to support our conversations. Yeah, Totally.

Les Alfred:

5:05

Yeah, it just helps you way better understand how to communicate and how to understand people, how to understand yourself. In mind, it says my strategy is wait to respond, my authority is emotional, so, alexis.

Mari Roberts:

5:17

Yeah, so solar plexus. So your authority is in the solar plexus, yeah, and then it gets even more complicated. I'm learning more about human design for myself, but also how to use it with my clients, and they're depending on what of those numbers, those gates those channels depending on which ones are open also affects the way that you experience the wave of emotion before you make a decision. So some people it's so light you almost don't really feel it, which is really crazy.

Les Alfred:

5:47

Human design is so wild. It's so complex. I have a decent understanding and I still feel like I'm barely scratching the surface.

Mari Roberts:

5:54

Oh, 100% and what I'm learning in my human design course is you know, they're not even going into the details around you know your six, two, 6251. It's really just learning about the centers and better understanding the centers and then how to use the understanding of open centers to define centers to support the work that we do. To wild it's really wild. Yeah, I love that. So fun, and I feel like knowing that you're a manifesting generator tells me also more about you and your path to and your interests and how they come to be. I think this is going to make a lot more sense as we talk. I want to. I shared this before we started recording because I can be the worst about getting to the Oracle card. So I want to share the Oracle card before we dive in because I know we're going to talk about all kinds of things. So every episode I pull an Oracle card to share a message with you. But the message is for me. It's also for anyone else who is listening in this moment. It doesn't matter if, as you're listening, if you're listening when the episode first comes out, if you're listening two months from now or a year from now, it's still relevant for you and I always use the Guided by Spirit deck from Asia Deshore. It's a beautiful deck and she created it with her husband, who's an artist, and it's just really awesome and one day maybe I'll stop using it, but I don't see it happening anytime soon. Yeah, so you love it, I love it. It's easy, it's beautiful and I don't know, asia's just kind of like the bomb, so I like to support her Anyhow. Your card if you can see that I know it's hard to see it, I can I can send you a picture later too, if you want. It says patience, yeah, and for anyone who's listening, um, and not watching on youtube or anything, it looks like hands, basically sort of almost like hanging down just waiting in patience. So let's connect into the message and see what that's all about right away.

Mari Roberts:

8:02

I just heard patience is a virtue. I just heard she's pushing for the finish line, but there is no finish line. So how can you allow? This is so funny. It feels like a creek. I'm seeing like a creek. How can you allow for the meandering of of like, like a Creek, meandering water, right? How can you allow for the meandering journey and realize that it's oh wow, it's like? Again, thinking about the Creek image keeps coming up. So, even if you can see yourself walking down a Creek and it's like every step of the way you see something new, something beautiful, something you didn't notice before, you hear new sounds. So, as you're going through this journey, versus pushing for that finish line, experiencing the beauty of what's coming up, what's happening throughout. So the patience piece is just knowing it's coming and actually it's like savoring the beauty of the moments that are being experienced.

Les Alfred:

9:14

Does that make sense? It does, yeah, I definitely needed that.

Mari Roberts:

9:19

Patience is hard. It's something I lack a lot of Same.

Les Alfred:

9:24

I'm in a constant practice to learn patience.

Mari Roberts:

9:28

It's the hardest thing, especially when you're wanting things to happen, whether it's in for you with Balanced Black Girl, like stumbling Balanced Black Girl, or for me with the business of life activated, it's hard to not want it to be something that was in our lives yesterday, right?

Les Alfred:

9:51

Yeah, I mean, especially when you've been at it for a long time, which is how I feel, or something else that's really coming up for me is like patience around relationships, and I'm like I haven't been in a relationship in so long. What do you mean, patience? I have been patient it's been, however many years and so sometimes that's what gets me is like I can be patient to a point and then I reach a point where I feel like something should be, and if it's not there yet, it's like super frustrating, boy do.

Mari Roberts:

10:21

I understand what you're saying. Super frustrating, boy, do I understand what you're saying? Having been like late in the dating life personally, and late in having a really serious partner and witnessing my friends have all these boyfriends, some of them long lasting, some of them just douchebag, and then the next one and blah, blah, blah, but they have like no problem ever, and not having that come to my life felt so frustrating, so I completely understand that so much. Something that came up that I was just thinking that. When you said that, though, is I had someone ask me once you know where how do I say this? Like we really feel, like we want it or we're ready for it, but what potentially could be within us that is not ready for it, because they could actually be right in front of us, but we're not actually seeing them because we're not necessarily at the point of really being ready. Highly frustrating to hear at the point of really being ready.

Les Alfred:

11:25

highly frustrating to hear and something I have to remind myself too, because I tend to compare myself a lot, particularly when it comes to relationships is I also have to remember that may not come easy to me, but there are so many things that like do come easy to me something like money, not to say that I just have all of this money, but as a tool and as an energy I've just kind of figured it out, where I figured out how to work with it and when I need more of it I just kind of get it and it's like not super hard or like even with podcasting and having a platform, I am intentional about my work and I've been very consistent and I have been dedicated, but I wouldn't necessarily say that like building a following or growing my show has been hard.

Les Alfred:

12:07

I just kept doing it in the audience came versus other people. Maybe romantic relationships come super easily for them but like money is just something so hard that they have not been able to figure out. And so I remember like everybody has their own stuff and to be grateful for the things that I do get that come easily to me because it all matters.

Mari Roberts:

12:29

It so does. And what I love about what you just said, because I hear this so much and it pisses me off when people say that love and money are like tied, total BS. I'm just going to say it. I'm saying cuss words. Now Prepare yourself if you have children in the car Bullshit.

Mari Roberts:

12:48

I just don't buy that. It's the same energy, because of exactly what you just said. There are differences and it could be related to you understanding the energy. It could be more healing that needs to happen. It could be a myriad. It could just be simply that it's just not time yet. And as you continue to dive into other aspects of your life and feel this deeper level of joy and excitement about other aspects of your life, one day this person's just going to like show up out of the blue, you know. So I just had to say that because that drives me insane when I hear that. So I just had to say that because that drives me insane when I hear that. And so many people in the coaching and the spiritual world tie those things together and I think it does harm by making people think that there's one more thing that is really jacked up about them. It's just not true.

Les Alfred:

13:38

Right, I agree.

Mari Roberts:

13:40

Sorry, I got a little emotional about that.

Les Alfred:

13:42

No, it's welcome. It's welcome, it drives me crazy.

Mari Roberts:

13:45

It drives me crazy. It drives me crazy. But thank you for sharing that, because I do think that it's helpful to have the reminder that there can be so many things that we want to remember are happening in our lives and to, yeah, have the patience in the other areas and to keep working in these other spaces that may need a little more. I don't know why the word I want to say is excavating, you know, uncovering, opening to or toward. Yeah, I love that. So cool.

Mari Roberts:

14:18

All right, let's me start asking all these questions. So beforehand, just so others who might be new to listening I meditate to ask the questions and find out what sort of where we're going with this conversation, and I felt so much energy. I just want to share that with you. I felt so much energy as I was coming to these questions, so I feel really excited about, again, just what everyone's going to get out of this and how people are going to learn from you and be so inspired by you, thank you. So the first question I have for you is you know you have been doing this for a while. You have had your training business and then you moved into the podcast, right, and now that I also know that you are a manifesting generator. This also feels like so aligned. I'd like to know how have those passions changed over the years for you?

Les Alfred:

15:15

I think when I first started in wellness and creating content, I thought that I always had to be the teacher. What I've learned is that I actually don't like being a teacher, I like being a student. And so, instead of coming from a place of like I am all knowing, I am the trainer, I am the teacher, I have all the answers it's more like hey, I actually really like to learn and research and deep dive and let me share what I've found. And taking that approach has helped really take the pressure off of me in a lot of ways, because I think for a while when I had the pressure to be a teacher, I was kind of caving under it because it just wasn't the right fit for me, and it has made all the difference in how I show up and just feeling a lot more aligned in how I show up.

Mari Roberts:

16:03

And you know what's so cool about this too is like the way that you now do your episodes in the themed based. It's so fits with as a. You know and I'm really honestly trying to ensure that I'm not doing any stereotyping, but I know I mean my husband's a manifesting generator, so I with this person but the deep dive to learn and then move on, and so the way that you have your episodes now it's like so fits you and your personality, because you can go deep and yourself learn and then you master it and then you can move on to the next theme or contents buckets that you want to dive into. So that's so cool to actually see it in real life.

Mari Roberts:

16:51

For anyone who sort of wonders like how can you do it in a, how can you engage in your type as a manifesting generator? And it not necessarily be about your career, but it's about aspects of you doing the thing that lights you up learning deeply, moving on. Next thing that sparks joy and interest and moving on. So it's such a really cool way to see it and experience it?

Les Alfred:

17:17

Yeah, it definitely is. Thank you for that Cause. I don't know if I'd realized that, but it makes sense.

Mari Roberts:

17:23

So cool. I'm curious, if you have, if you can even like tap back into when you started doing the new format, did you notice how your energy shifted?

Les Alfred:

17:33

and changed. Yeah, you know what's interesting is, for when I first started the podcast, I was doing weekly episodes for about the first year and I got really burned out of that and I then, for a year after that, went bi-weekly and did every other week because I think just moving on from topic to topic and having it be random stuff felt really chaotic and really draining. But what's interesting is when I went to the themed model, I was able to sustain coming out with an episode every week, which I've been able to do since then. That was about two years ago and so it was really interesting because I feel like I was able to manage my energy a little bit better. And when I implemented that model, that was when my show really started growing. I mean, it was like a light switch. Immediately it started growing.

Mari Roberts:

18:22

I think also just personally, like from that witnessing side, is that you were in, you're like really listening to, like your authority of doing the things that light you up, and then you like move on to the next thing.

Mari Roberts:

18:34

So I feel like it only makes sense. It is natural that that would happen because your energy state is at a higher place, so you're not feeling even energetically drained. Yeah, yeah, it's so cool. This is like you're like such a great case study moment right now and for anyone who, like I said, is a manifesting generator, this is such a tangible manifesting generator. This is such a tangible way to almost experience and understand how you can use the way you are made up in sort of a smaller bucket and not feeling like it has to again be tied to oh my gosh my profession. I have to like dive deep into my profession and then tap out and then go do something else. Yeah, yeah, definitely. So with that, I also know you and I have something in common that we still have our corporate jobs. So how do you balance doing what you're passionate about that's not necessarily always connected to your job with having a job?

Les Alfred:

19:42

Sometimes it's a little chaotic and I think, probably because of the name of my platform, people may be under the impression that I just, like, magically, do everything perfectly and it all feels good and it's all at equilibrium, and that's not true. I go through phases where I feel like, yeah, I'm rocking it at both, and then I go through phases where I feel like I'm sucking at everything and it's really hard. Honestly, right now I feel like I'm probably feeling a little bit more of like the ladder, like I just am not really getting ahead at anything and it's all just kind of staying afloat. But I refuse to give up something that I want to do for something that I feel like I have to do. I would rather be overstimulated but get to do what I love, than be spacious but only do things out of obligation, and so I think that is what kind of motivates me to continue moving forward.

Mari Roberts:

20:42

I love that you said that, because what I hear also is that and I feel this personally, so maybe I'm like projecting, but I think this happens for a lot of people If you are truly passionate about it and it is like part of your soul's calling, you can't give it up. Right, yeah and yes. That means sometimes that you feel pulled in a lot of different directions and you know I don't know if you're like me in this regard one day I want to quit my corporate job one day I want to just be doing what I want to be doing.

Les Alfred:

21:17

Yeah, that's always been my goal and sometimes I struggle with that because that, since day one, has always been my measure of success. And so I still really struggle. And I think it's interesting, even earlier, when you said that I was like being modest, I'm like because my the one thing that I that I feel is my measure of success, I haven't done yet. So the other stuff I'm like that's great, but I haven't done the thing that I want to do for me.

Mari Roberts:

21:47

It's like this invitation to step back and reflect on how far you've come and to see how truly amazeballs you are and realizing that you know, leaving the job and I feel like I'm saying this for myself, too right, leaving the job and I'm I feel like I'm saying this for myself too right Like leaving the job is not the end, all be all to the amazing impact that you already have. You know, on all of the people who have downloaded your episodes, who you know connect with you on Instagram or who are listening you know, I'm listening, I don't know what my problem is who are like reading your, your emails. Right, like you are still having this impact that is so great that the job is like yes, it is our big destination, it is the big destination, but it's it. It could stay in the shadow, almost, because everything else that's been accomplished is far greater.

Mari Roberts:

22:46

Yeah, I love that perspective and it is going to happen. It's just it's going to happen when it's the right time, right, yeah, and I also love that you are normalizing having a job and doing this big stuff right, because again, we see so much in the world you're not doing it if you don't quit your job, or you got to quit your job to prove that you're really serious and that again is a whole lot of malarkey you don't have to quit your job, right?

Les Alfred:

23:19

And it comes from, I think, people who just have a whole lot of privilege, where it's a lot easier for them to do that and they don't have to consider other things that other people have to consider. It's a very privileged take.

Mari Roberts:

23:30

For anyone who's listening.

Les Alfred:

23:31

I literally did a high five Air high five yeah.

Mari Roberts:

23:34

Yeah, air high five. Yeah, it is true, it is coming from privilege and also, you know, some people are bigger risk takers and that is also okay. But there are many reasons why people may not be able to quit their jobs right away. Yep, they may be the sole provider. You may have other big bills. What is my problem today? I can't speak Bills. There are so many things that could keep you from taking that leap. I know personally. I got over the whole fact that insurance. I used to think like, oh my gosh, I can't leave because of insurance and that's my biggest hang up. I got over that. Actually, I have some friends who do work they've been for years doing their own thing and my one friend, she's a private chef and she's like my insurance is like $270 a month.

Mari Roberts:

24:26

I'm like oh what, okay, you know, and and so for me I'm like once I heard that that really did help me realize that I can find insurance that is suitable for my needs. But there are other big things that get in the way. And exercise just sharing this and exercise that was given to me by one of my mentors was to basically write out sort of a journaling exercise around your fears of leaving the job and just like acknowledging them and putting them out. Pretty surprising some of the things that came up when I did this, like you know, the reasons why I don't leave, the reasons why I don't leave my job and the fears behind it you know, again I've done something similar where it was like I'm not going to be a good kid that came up.

Mari Roberts:

25:14

I'm not rational, you know. So it really just kind of helps me put in front of me what's. What are some of the other thinkings and thoughts and blockings behind that, knowing that there's still other practical reasons why it's not happening?

Les Alfred:

25:32

Right yeah.

Mari Roberts:

25:33

But if you can remove some of those other blocks, it can help sometimes take off the weight of. Okay, these are practical reasons, and then these are reasons that are just like wackadoodly made up in my mind.

Les Alfred:

25:51

It has nothing to do with being a good kid or that I'm a rational person.

Mari Roberts:

25:54

Yeah, I'll have to try that. Yeah, yeah, just sharing one full-time worker person living their passions to another. Yes, yes, and anyone else listening, take that, do all those things. So I have another question, and it's funny that this is what's come up. But for you, what's been the biggest beyond, you know, leaving corporate and the insurance piece, what's the other sort of biggest mind drama that you are faced with when it comes to staying on your path of living your passions?

Les Alfred:

26:31

Yeah, I mean, I think it's along similar lines. I have tried in the past to go full-time with this and did not make it very long without having to get a job again. So another story that replays is like yeah, you tried that, Remember, and you failed. So that's another big one that like plays in a loop of like well, remember last time, remember what happened. And then the other thing, not just oh, you tried and you failed, but I ended up taking a job that ended up being really traumatic and, honestly, a very abusive workplace, and so it was like so if you quit and then that's the only kind of job you can get again, then what are you going to do? So that's something that you know, I'm reminded of.

Mari Roberts:

27:20

And that makes a lot of sense. And that makes a lot of sense and no one wants to like relive any kind of traumatic work experience and how much it sticks with us and in our psyche. And then you know, to that it's like what are those proofs that, yeah, the only thing that I can continue to say is like having to remind ourselves of the proof that all the things that have gone well and where we've been super successful, yeah, something that I like to tell myself too.

Les Alfred:

27:57

I have a little saying which is like you are the blueprint, because there are a lot of things that I want where it's like I haven't seen it done before, or I haven't seen it done before by somebody like me or a lot of other people who are doing things similar to what I want to do. They have a partner who is like their co-founder or whose insurance they can hop on or who can cover the bills while they're kind of figuring things out, and so I had these stories of like, well, that's not for single people, that's not for people who don't have rich parents, that's not for first gen, this or whatever. And so my way of getting out of that is saying well, you are the blueprint, then somebody has to be the first one, and maybe it's you.

Mari Roberts:

28:37

And again back to human design. I swear your design type, the five one, I'm swear you have to do it first and then, like you, teach it. And again it doesn't have to be officially teaching, right, you could just like you're leading by example. I see that as a like as teaching too. So that's just a really interesting like piece to being in the blueprint, to leading the way and acknowledging how being the blueprint can sometimes suck. It's not always easy. It's like can't we have somebody to?

Les Alfred:

29:09

follow. Right, I know my content gets copied a lot as well. The podcast, specifically, has very heavily inspired some other podcasts and sometimes when I get frustrated, um, when I can tell that someone has been heavily inspired by my content, I also remind myself well, you are the blueprint, yeah you are the blueprint and that's so.

Mari Roberts:

29:36

it's so frustrating. You want to like call everyone out, but it's also that compliment of you are really trailblazing and people are inspired by what you're trailblazing and they see your success, so they feel that that is the way to do it. But just ain't nobody going to be you, Okay.

Les Alfred:

29:57

Right, it's like no one can mimic your delivery and your heart and what you bring to it.

Mari Roberts:

30:03

Nobody can, nobody can, nobody can do what you do legitimately Like. You're such an amazing interviewer. Again, having been on your podcast, I can say this You're an amazing interviewer. You make people feel so instantly like welcome to open up and you have such amazing questions that there's nobody can mimic you.

Les Alfred:

30:31

Thank you, I appreciate that. Thank you.

Mari Roberts:

30:38

I appreciate that, yeah, appreciate that, yeah, and also your voice, right like you, have this beautiful tone to your voice that like no one can, no one can take it. Thank you, mari. You know I only speak truth it is very much appreciated. I only speak truth, okay. So my next question, obviously, obviously, since you know I'm psychic and all that stuff, I always like to kind of connect to these things. How do you trust and hear your own inner knowing?

Les Alfred:

31:08

That's a good question, you know. I'll be honest and this is something I've thought about a lot is I've had a hard time with trusting. I consider myself spiritual, but even lately I've felt not even that. I mean, I just have felt so very literal and almost kind of stuck in the 3D lately that I feel really out of touch with my inner knowing and it's something that I want to reconnect with, because I don't like that feeling, but I do. I'm feeling very Squidward right now. Yeah.

Mari Roberts:

31:41

I think it's just the invitation would be starting small little things you know like get back to, like a shower, shower ritual if you don't have that, and like connecting into just the basics you know, releasing the energy, calling back your energy. And then, you know, the one thing I like to do in the showers is like, especially when it was early days of also me learning my gifts, but also just things everything sucking is asking like what's one thing I need to know today for my highest good, and see what pops in your brain.

Les Alfred:

32:12

Yeah.

Mari Roberts:

32:13

Whatever it is, it could be literally nothing, it could just be an idea, it could be like the thing. It could be a thing for your job, it could be a thing for the podcast, you know, and just see what happens and there's just trust that thing, and then like, slowly build into the rest. Yeah, I like that. Sometimes we put so much pressure on ourselves that it's got to be something bigger than just the little things that pop in our heads, you know.

Mari Roberts:

32:41

Or if you get the call like I shouldn't say the call, but like the ping, like you're, maybe you're driving to work and you get a ping to like turn left, just turn left. Or you know you're shopping at, you know your supermarket and just turn. This was something just the other day. This is random, but like an example. I've been looking for this stupid journal forever and it's like sold out. And I was running errands one day and I was like I'm going to go to Target and then I was like I'm not going to Target, I'm too tired, I'm going straight home. And I was getting close to the turn it was like go to Target. Do you know? I went to Target and there was one, the last one of the journal I was looking for.

Mari Roberts:

33:21

I love that and it was such a good reminder of, like, just trust that inner, like pull you know. And this was a simple little thing, like I did not want to go into Target, okay, I just wanted to go home, I was tired, but it like re-enlivened in me, just like that. Okay, continue to trust those little nudges, go ahead, turn or go ahead, walk or go say hi or whatever you know, yeah, I love that Almost thinking of it as like a muscle that we strengthen.

Mari Roberts:

33:53

It is a muscle, it literally is a muscle, like trusting our inner. Knowing is a practice.

Les Alfred:

33:59

I love that, I feel like I need that. I've always been very jealous of people who had, like, really strong faith or just these strong senses of belief, because I think I've always just been more of a questioner and more of like I'll believe it when I see it and I know that we have to believe it to see it but like my brain feels like it can't do that.

Mari Roberts:

34:22

Yeah, and that's also just part of the human experience, you know. So, even if it's little things like, even if you decide I'm going to just start noticing, like repeating numbers, that's been a big one.

Les Alfred:

34:36

I have seen a lot of that lately, probably more so over the past like month, than I have ever before.

Mari Roberts:

34:41

Okay, connect to that. That's a start, like a little start into like building the muscle. You know it could mean nothing, but it could be you can. It could be something where you're you actually go look up and see what the numbers mean. But it could also be like I'm going to put a meeting on this number. What does it mean for me? Yeah, and then see how it shows up for you, you know, and just continue to trust in that and also understand that, like it definitely wavers and falters, ebbs and flows, you know, I mean even me, I have been in situations where I have felt super disconnected from trusting myself. Yeah, it's a journey. Mm-hmm, all this crap is a journey.

Les Alfred:

35:27

Mm-hmm, it's true.

Mari Roberts:

35:29

So windy, windy road, yeah, but I mean, that's what we're here for. That's what we're here for being on the journey, truly listening to ourselves and our hearts, you know, listening to that truth and following it, and some days it's going to be great, some days it's going to be sucky. True that, oh, my goodness Okay. So my other question for you is when fear does show up, how do you continue? How do you not stop?

Les Alfred:

36:05

Yeah, I probably have like a really unhealthy, almost like borderline capitalistic view of this, which is not good. But like I have completely disassociated fear from my behavior and so I'm like, yeah, I this is, I'm afraid of that, but what does that have to do with what I set out to do today and do it anyway?

Mari Roberts:

36:25

That's ballsy. Yeah, yeah, I love that.

Les Alfred:

36:29

Yeah, that's how I felt in so many instances. I'm like, yeah, I'm scared and we're doing it anyway. How I felt in so many instances.

Mari Roberts:

36:34

I'm like, yeah, I'm scared and we're doing it anyway, but that's giving you opportunities too, right.

Les Alfred:

36:43

It has.

Mari Roberts:

36:44

Yeah, I think it's definitely served me in some ways, for sure, mm-hmm. And I know that you just started your YouTube channel. Was that at a? Was that a fear moment or was that a? You did it because you just feel like you have to do it to help grow the podcast too, like you know what I mean. Like was there? Was there some fear in that?

Les Alfred:

37:03

Um, I wouldn't say fear, I think it's more so. Just, I feel like my plate is already so full and it just feels like another thing. It's like I've spent all of this time building this skill set of being really good on audio and being frustrated that that's no longer enough. So it's more like frustration, which is my not self themed.

Mari Roberts:

37:23

It is, it is, it is it is. It is so not self thing, right? So it's either how do we change the perspective so that it's not in that way, or how do you say it's okay if you decide you're not going to do it and there are other ways for people to come through, which is not an easy thing. But that not self theme is there for definitely a reason.

Les Alfred:

37:49

And I've been feeling it a lot lately. I've definitely been very much feeling a lot of frustration and, just in my not self theme a lot both personally and professionally, and so, yeah, it's something that I'm interested in investigating more.

Mari Roberts:

38:05

Yeah, cause frustration is we're both emotional authority, so the frustration tells us something, you know, and it's yeah, what's the perspective shift or what do we decide? It's just not worth it if it's not bringing us joy and lighting us up. It's really good. Thank you for sharing that Because, again, I think it's such a good reminder of, like are we listening to ourselves? And the fact that, even that you notice and know that it feels frustrating, right, like, so what does that mean? What do you do with it? I think it's going to help whoever is listening also and you're listening to connect into, like, what is coming up for us when we're saying yes to something or committing to something or not committing to something even right, that's real.

Mari Roberts:

39:00

When you have boundaries in place, what does your life feel like?

Les Alfred:

39:07

Setting boundaries feels like creating space, so I don't even think of it as like building up a wall around something. It's more of just like almost like decluttering, like whatever feeling was there that made me feel like I need to put up a boundary, I'm like, and we are no longer doing this, it's got to go.

Mari Roberts:

39:32

Creating boundaries is creating space, and it's something that, going back to like fear, I feel like that's something that's not to be feared.

Les Alfred:

39:41

Yeah.

Mari Roberts:

39:42

So good You're like, so good, you're dropping nuggets left and right.

Les Alfred:

39:47

Thank you. I mean, I think I've been feeling because I have been in my kind of not self theme. I feel like I've been a little like whiny lately and I've had to kind of check that a little bit, so I hope I don't sound too whiny.

Mari Roberts:

40:00

Oh God, no, you don't sound whiny, you sound real Okay.

Les Alfred:

40:04

And I think that's really important.

Mari Roberts:

40:06

Okay, I don't think that sounds whiny at all, like I think people want to know real, you know. And yeah Also, who cares if we whine? Sometimes we got to whine, sometimes we got to let it out and be okay with having that moment you know, yeah, it's true. Also I think that's how you figure out when you're we're feeling frustrated, right?

Les Alfred:

40:30

Or in that not self place. Yeah, that's true.

Mari Roberts:

40:32

Yeah, so talking about designing our lives and keeping passions, our passions, in there, how have you been able to design your life right now to fit all of your passions?

Les Alfred:

40:45

So what's really interesting and I recently worked on an episode for the podcast about this that's going to be coming out soon when I was in my early twenties I had this like vision for my life.

Les Alfred:

40:58

Now it was the life that I kind of wanted then, but what I realized is that my 23, 24 year old self, the life that she wanted, is very much the life that I have right now, like verbatim, which I am so grateful for and think is so cool.

Les Alfred:

41:18

And I've also recognized that, like, my 23 year old self didn't really know a lot, and so it's okay if the vision that she had for my life is not all that I want out of life. And I've allowed both things to be true, because sometimes I think when you share things like that, people are like see, you got to be grateful and I'm like I'm grateful and I can recognize that my 23 year old worldview was kind of limited. And now that I'm here a decade later, I'm like I love this and I've expanded and I have capacity for so much more and that's what I want to step into. And so now that I've created this version of my life that at a time was very much what I wanted. I'm really excited to start kind of dreaming and scheming of the next chapter now that I am older and wiser and more expanded, now that I know that more is possible for me.

Mari Roberts:

42:08

Mm-hmm, that's so good. I love that. I love that. What advice would you have for whoever's listening around, stepping deeper into or having the courage to live their passions?

Les Alfred:

42:27

That you can't do it if you're not willing to change some aspect of where you're at or what you're doing now, like we sometimes want to live these grandiose lives or have these dreams or have these aspirations, but then we don't want to make even the smallest change in what we're doing, and that just it can't be, it can't.

Les Alfred:

42:50

Those two things can't coexist. And for me, I noticed, when my life really started changing and became more of, you know, at least what I wanted at a time, it was because I was just making changes, not even like strategic changes, I was just stepping out and just doing things differently big things, small things, anything differently to try to get a different result, and that created momentum and that created movement. So, whether it's like driving home a different way from work or buying a different ingredient at the grocery store, like doing anything that's different, I think is just going to open you up, to getting closer to where you're going to be, because you're building that agility, you're building your capacity to be able to handle what it is that you want. But if you just keep doing the same things you've always done, you're not going to move away from that.

Mari Roberts:

43:44

So good.

Mari Roberts:

43:46

That would be what I'd call a mic drop Speaking truth really truth is so important and I love that, and I feel that this is going to be one of those pieces where I'm going to invite you, listener, to rewind and listen to that part again and really think about what. Are you willing to do a little bit differently every day? Willing to do a little bit differently every day, one thing to see how things can shift for you in your life so that you can really take the steps, have the courage to do what is yours to do. You know, living your passions is literally your purpose. It's something that you are here to do. So that's my invitation Rewind, listen, take some steps. This is so amazing. Thank you so much for being here. I just honestly, les, you're just. You know I love you so much and I am so inspired by you personally and I just am so grateful that you came today and you gave time to this little show here. Can you tell the listeners how they can find you and what's happening in your world?

Les Alfred:

45:07

Yes, well, first of all, mari, thank you so much for having me. Any chance I get to talk to you is always amazing, so I'm so glad we got to catch up today and I really appreciate you having me on. I'm so excited for you in this podcast so you can find me wherever you listen to podcasts. Balanced Black Girl is the name of my show. New episodes come out every Tuesday. I am on Instagram and TikTok at Balanced Less, and then we also have an Instagram account for the podcast, which is at balancedblackgirlpodcast.

Mari Roberts:

45:37

Amazing, amazing. If you haven't listened, go and listen. You will just be inspired every day, I promise you. Thank, you. Thank you for being here. I appreciate you so much and until next time, everyone, we will see you soon. If today's episode resonated with you, share your thoughts and feelings in any review section, so let me know where you're at on your journey, sending you big love to bring those passions to life, because, remember, you deserve it.