Style Is a Skill: Evolving with Intention with Mili Velikova

What if personal style isn’t something you’re born with but something you can learn, refine, and evolve? In this episode of Style POV, I’m joined by Mili Velikova, a style educator and YouTube creator known for her grounded, analytical, and deeply creative approach to dressing well.

Mili breaks down why “effortless style” is a myth and shows how small tweaks, intentional choices, and curiosity can completely transform the way you show up. We talk about closing the style knowledge gap, editing your closet with purpose, and learning to view style as a reflection of who you’re becoming- not just what you wear.

If you’ve ever felt like your wardrobe doesn’t quite match your identity or you’re craving a more thoughtful approach to fashion, this conversation will inspire you to see getting dressed as both a skill and a form of self-expression.

Where to Find Mili Velikova

Mili's Styling Services

YouTube Channel: @MiliVelikova

Instagram: @milivelikova

Mili's 

Timestamps

01:01 – Style is a skill that can be honed
03:40 – Bridging the style knowledge gap
07:20 – Personalizing your style
12:17 – “Effortless Style” is a lie
15:19 – Habits stacking with style systems
18:36 – Editing your closet
21:13 – The gap between online advice and real life
27:20 – Why your style is always evolving
35:54 – Where to ‘debut’ your style experiments
42:46 – Style as a powerful tool
49:34 – Thrifting as a way to experiment with trends
53:20 – Mili’s style strategy sessions
1:03:00 – Being a multidimensional person

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Disclaimer: The Style POV Podcast content is for general informational purposes only and should not be considered professional advice. The views expressed by hosts and guests are their own. Gabrielle Arruda is not liable for any errors or omissions, and listeners use the information at their own risk.

Transcript

Transcript

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Gabrielle: [00:00:00] Welcome back to Style POV. Today, I'm joined by Mili Velikova, a style educator and YouTube creator whose work I love for the way it challenges one of fashion's biggest myths: that style is something you're born with. Through her style strategy sessions and her deeply thoughtful videos, Mili shows how personal style is learnable and an evolving skill. One that reflects who we are and who we're becoming.

She breaks down the unrealistic advice we often see online and offers a gentler, more analytical, smarter, and creative way to dress well by paying attention, trying new things, and allowing our style to evolve as we do. In this conversation, we'll talk about how small tweaks can transform an outfit, why thrifting teaches taste, and how embracing evolution in your wardrobe and in yourself might be the most stylish thing of all.

Let's get into it.

Thank you so much and welcome back to the Style POV. Thank you so much, Mili, for coming on. I am so excited to be talking fashion and style evolution and what it means to have good style with you today.

[00:01:00] One of my favorite things that you talk about on your channel is that style is a skill and not an innate talent. It's like a very freeing idea. Do you want to talk about that a little bit?

Mili Velikova: Absolutely. First of all, thank you so much for having me here, because it's absolutely a dream come true that a year ago when the channel didn't exist, I couldn't imagine myself being here, but I'm really glad that I am.

Style is a skill

In terms of the whole idea around style is a skill, I've been kind of more consciously dressing myself, I would say for about 15 years. I'm 30 now, so that's literally half my life. I realized when I started, a lot of my outfits were pretty bad. If you look at some photos, they were either quite basic or didn't fit me properly, or I liked it on the day and then I didn't end up loving it.

I would say kind of most of the year I'll be quite unhappy with my outfits. Then when I was reflecting maybe about two years [00:02:00] ago, I realized that a lot has changed. I actually like probably 80, 90% of my outfits now, and most of the time if something doesn't work, let's say putting an outfit and something's a bit off, I figured out ways to fix it so that I actually love my outfits.

So, I started to think about like what happened between that Mili and this Mili right now? Obviously it's not something that I was born with. Because I have so much proof that this is not something that, you know how some kids are really stylish. Like I wasn't that kid, so how did I get to this point?

This is when I realized that like, actually I've been applying a lot of tools and systems and methods that I had learned over the years and also a lot of experimentation and reflection. And so that's why right now, when I started my YouTube channel. I just wanted to share those bits that I've realized, let's say, experimenting with the three-word method and what I [00:03:00] realized from that, how it works for me and how I've actually applied it, how I've learned this tool and used it.

So, because I've taught myself, I fully believe that anyone who wants to be more stylish, to dress in a more confident way and kind of express themselves, I fully believe they can do that as well. Even if someone says, 'oh, like I'm not born stylish, or I don't know what I'm doing' I fully believe you can learn to create your own style that actually expresses you.

Gabrielle: I love that. I absolutely love it. Let's talk about that because I think that style can be really intimidating for people, right? Especially like there's a knowledge gap. You start here and you look at people who have great outfits online or in magazines or wherever or just around you, and you're like, ‘how do they look so put together? How does it work when I copy that same outfit and it doesn't quite work?’ And you have this lovely philosophy, like the kind of 70% philosophy of an outfit's almost [00:04:00] there, and all those little shifts can help make the difference.

Is that something you applied to your own style? How did you come up with that? What's the meaning behind that or the inspiration?

Mili Velikova: Yeah, so I actually filmed a video maybe about a year ago where I took Pinterest outfits. I realized that just copy pasting the outfit doesn't actually work for me, because that's a bit sad to kind of see. But there isn't that much body diversity on Pinterest.

A lot of the outfits that they see are from very tall and usually quite slim people. I am not that tall and I have curves. Through kind of trial and error, I realized that even if I had the exact same pieces, so you know, like five years ago, I would buy things from bloggers and influencers and I'll buy the exact same pieces. It still wasn't working, like the outfit didn't look correct.

That's where it kind of got me thinking that there must be more [00:05:00] than just the clothes. That's kind of when I got into the Kibbe rabbit hole. Body types, essences, color analysis, all of that. Right now, I kind of feel like when it comes to your outfit, maybe about 70 to 80% of that can be inspiration that you see from other people.

Let's say the color combination and even what I'm wearing today is actually, I posted a shirt the other day that was about how I took a Pinterest outfit and recreated it. But all of those things are my own and they're slightly different from what was on that image.

You almost have to take the idea and ask yourself, what do you actually like about it? Is it the way that the pieces are combined? Is it maybe the color combination? Is it the styling kind of method? Maybe the sleeves are pushed or they're wearing really big earrings. I often realized, like when I did the sort of trying to write down everything that was on that image, there was [00:06:00] maybe about 15 items, but you only spot like two or three, maybe like the top to bottom and the shoes.

But actually there's so many little things like accessories or styling tools the people are using that make their outfit really good. This is when I realized it's not just about the clothes. It's about figuring out what other things you can do to make the outfit better.

Also, how can you take maybe a straight pair of jeans that maybe doesn't look very good on me and it's not very comfortable the way that it's cut? How can I take the idea but maybe do that with borrow like jeans, which I find, let's say for curves a bit more comfortable? It's about kind of trial and error a little bit and figuring out over time what styles of pants and tops and stuff work for you. And then taking the inspiration using what you already have that is working for you to recreate the outfit. That's kind of my philosophy of the 70, 80% comes from.

Gabrielle: I love that. So when you copy and paste, I totally agree. I think [00:07:00] people get really lost. They're like, 'well, I don't look like that celebrity in this outfit and that's discouraging to me.' So that's why I love that you frame it as a skillset, right? It's something that you can learn from. Like, I'm interested in this outfit. I would love to take it from A and bring it to something that's personalized for me as C.

But how do you get from A to C or the starting inspo image to something that speaks to you? How do you like hone that skill down?

Mili Velikova: That's a great question actually. The process that I usually do is I take the image and ask myself literally, why do I like it? And I try to write down maybe 3, 4, 5 things that I like.

For example, in the image that I saw, I like the layering. So it was a top and then a long dress. So that's the first thing. Second thing I like higher contrast, it was black and white with red socks. So for example, if I didn't have a black dress, but I had, I don’t know, like a cream dress. The contrast wouldn't be there, and I would put the outfit [00:08:00] on. I would be like, actually the contrast is missing.

So maybe I wouldn't do a cream dress. I would do a black tank top and black pants, because what I actually like is the contrast. It's not necessarily that it's a dress, right? So you have to write things down. You have to break it down into the elements you actually are drawn to in that outfit.

Sometimes, it's the contrast. Sometimes it's the way things are put together. Sometimes it might be like they push the sleeves really cool, so you can do that with any blouse, like you don't need to do it with a white blouse. It's kind of writing down those things and then asking yourself, how can I translate that for me?

For example, I always give this example like with a strapless top, like a bandeau top. I love the look of that. Okay, I love bandeau tops. It looks so cool on other people. Like that was with a blazer, it looked amazing. But then I know through trial and error that I've tried to ring bandeau tops and I [00:09:00] always let them go because they slip.

For my lifestyle, if someone actually moves around, I don’t know, like lift things up, I carry bags. I can't always be adjusting my top. That's just not practical. So rather than copy pasting and having a bandeau top, my version of a bandeau top is a cami, like a normal cami with straps, right?

It's pretty much the same look. The effect is pretty much the same, but it is tailored to me and my lifestyle. And the only way to actually know that is to try things out.

Also I feel like something that is often missed when people declutter, is that piece of reflection. Because if you're getting rid of something because you haven't worn it, there's usually a reason why. And so it might be the color, might be the fit, might be the practicality of it, might be the fabric or something. Let's say with bandeau tops, for me it was that they just don't work for me right now. Like my lifestyle right now, like maybe when I was 20 and I [00:10:00] was just going to uni and that's it, that's fine. But right now as a working professional, that's not something that works for me.

So, noting down kind of what is your version of something like if you don't like jeans. Do you wear pants? Do you wear leggings? What's your version of something will make it much easier to recreate the outfits. You break it down into elements, and then let's say if it's a top and bottom. You take the top. What's my version of that top? What's that version of the bottom? And then does it have the elements, the contrast, the styling, the layering, or whatever that they really liked? That's how I recreate outfit and that's why they always feel authentic to me.

Some of them are very close copies. Some of them are completely different from the inspiration, but it's always kind of filtered through my own lens, if that makes sense.

Gabrielle: Yeah. I think that's like the goal, right? Is to be inspired by the world and then filter through your own lens so that you take up that space with your outfit so that you communicate something that's innate to you.

I love that you're talking about trial and error. Because I think that so many [00:11:00] people start a style journey and they get really frustrated and they're like, 'none of these outfits are working. I've watched all the YouTube videos, I've done all the things like, why can't I just have this like effortless outfit working for me?' like, what's going on?

A lot of it is learning your nose, right? Like you said, bandeau tops just don't work for me. I can appreciate them for someone else, but then when I always wear them, they're not right for me. We all have those things. But the only way you figure that out right, is by trying the bandeau top living in it for a day and being like, that really didn't work.

What are people's expectations? Where they're going wrong with that? Do you think that they think the trial and error process should just be really quick? Do you think that people need to be more patient with it? Do you think that learning any new skill it's hard, right? You don't know what you don't know and that can be really challenging.

Do you think style systems are the answer? What do you say to someone who's just like, ' I don't know how to start because every outfit I'm making is failing and [00:12:00] I'm trying all the things'?

Mili Velikova: Yes. So another great question.

The Truth Behind ‘Effortless’ Style

First of all, let me get like, don't get me started too much on the word effortless. Because I have very strong opinions on that because

Gabrielle: Okay. We can, we can swap in. I don't know.

Mili Velikova: No, no, no.

Gabrielle: Chic. Chic.

Mili Velikova: Yeah, because being effortless, I think, is such a lie because I've had people, like friends, that look effortless and I've seen behind the scenes how much time it actually takes to look effortless.

Gabrielle: Yes. It's a faux effortless.

Mili Velikova: Exactly. And also I think we have this obsession that we should look effortless because that kind of brings the value of the outfit up I think a little bit. Oh no. Like this thing, I just took like two minutes and I put it together and it looks amazing.

People feel like there's something wrong with putting outfits and taking 10, 15 minutes to come up with a good outfit. And so when there is that expectation on yourself that no, it should be quick. It should be effortless. You feel [00:13:00] almost bad that you've put effort into putting your outfit together.

I think the first thing we need to get rid of is that idea that it'll be quick. Now I have to say it is quick for me now on, I don’t know, like at least half of my days. I can get ready in about five minutes. But it's effortless now because I've spent years trial and erroring things so that I know right now very quickly how to fix things.

Gabrielle: You’re building that skill.

Mili Velikova: Yeah. But in the past it took time. I feel like what people don't see, because maybe I don't show it enough in my videos, in my shorts, and so on. Even today, you know, I would put on the outfit and I like the base of it, right? But then I would try three or four pairs of shoes because I still don't have this very intuitive, effortless vision of which pair of shoes is going to work.

I still have to try it on to see, and then I'll decide, okay, the flats I thought are going to work. I don't like it, so maybe I'll try with boots. Oh no. Like, I don't actually like it with boots. So [00:14:00] let me try different pair maybe with socks and that's what works or I have three different coats. One is shorter and one is a bit bigger.

I have to try it. So even for me, you know, someone that teaches the stuff, it still takes me time. We have to remove that expectation that it'll be always quick. It should be quick, and we should know how to do it. Like, kind of super intuitively, it takes time.

The second thing, I feel like if someone is just looking kind of where to start from, I feel like it can be so tempting to go into the style systems and try to learn everything and figure out, keep your body type and body matrix and essences and color analysis, all of those things, right?

All of those systems, I talk about them on my channel because they're really useful, they're tools. But I also know that if you try to do everything at the same time, it's a little bit like trying to change all of your habits on January 1st. [00:15:00] I don't know about you, but I know that in the past I've tried to like 10 goals, 10 new habits.

Gabrielle: Yeah.

Mili Velikova: Then by week two, I've pretty much given up on everything and so I changed my approach. This called like habits stacking, one of my favorite books is Atomic Habits and James Clear, the author, he talks about habits stacking and so. I kind of look at style systems the same way. It's almost like you try one system, you make sure that you feel very comfortable with using that system, and then you layer things up on top.

For me personally, I think I started with color analysis. That's maybe about two and a half years ago now. I figured out what my colors were. I paid for an actual professional analysis. That was super useful for me because when I had clothes that were in, let's say, the correct colors for me. So I knew that the problem isn't the color, it was so much easier to isolate that maybe it was the shape, right?

Then I was like, [00:16:00] okay, how can I figure out what shapes work for me? Go down Kibbe and Body Matrix and all of that. Okay. I figured out the shapes and the colors. My style feels a bit meh. Okay, enter style roots and now let's talk about my preferences.

Okay, maybe this blue fitted blouse works great. It fits my curves. It's the perfect blue. I feel really basic in it. Why? So we go to like style roots and figuring out that, and then it's maybe the three-word method for like putting things together and then read the style key system for like how you actually approach it.

Over the past two and a half years I've layered systems. But if you start with everything, you don't know where the problem is. Is it the shape? Is it the color? Is it how you're putting it together? And so pick one system. You don't have to start with color analysis, you can start with just the body shapes.

Try and kind of almost isolate, okay, is this the right shape for me? Does this look good on [00:17:00] me as a shape, not as texture, color, and all of that. Does the shape work for me and my body? Do I feel comfortable? Do I like what I'm seeing in the mirror? If the answer is yes, great, we can continue building.

If the answer is no, let's fix the shape. Let's not focus on fixing the color and everything else. I feel like this approach takes time. It's not easy. You can't do this in a week. I'm sorry if someone like expects miraculous changes, but you can't do that in a week.

That's why like I kind of feel you have to start with one thing, one tool, and build upon it. With time, it doesn't take that much time. You'll be so much more confident in your style. You'll also know why something works and something doesn't and you have that explanation, that muscle.

Style Systems: Rigid Rules or Creative Channels

Gabrielle: Yeah, I think of it kind of like a pyramid. You have all this knowledge that you're gathering at the base, but ultimately you want to refine it when you get to the top or this circle that you're kind of honing in on, on like, here's the big picture. Here's all the information that [00:18:00] I have. Here's the color, here's the body type, but how do I filter it through and bring it into this like core person of how I interpret them? That's what a lot of people miss with style systems is they treat them too rigidly.

Do you have any opinions on how people use these style frameworks and anything that they typically miss when starting that journey?

Mili Velikova: Oh yeah, I always have opinions and those this is the one thing that maybe makes my channel a bit different. That’s also why I like your channel is that you reflect a lot on why something works or doesn't. I'm also very kind of naturally, I think quite reflective person. I used to be an engineer like you can see in there. I'm very analytical and I like to think about different things, different systems. The biggest thing that people miss when it comes to style systems, actually two things.

The first of all is that a system is not the Bible. You can take what works and what doesn't. Then the second thing is that reflective process of [00:19:00] figuring out, okay, this technically is supposed to work, but do I actually like it? Do I not, do I want to adjust it? And so on. I see often online. That makes me a bit sad because I also hear it like when I go in a shop and I see, let's say like two ladies and they're shopping and this one is like, oh, I really like, this is not my color. I can never wear this or this type of pant, just like I can never wear that.

They're so certain. And the other one is, yeah. Yeah. And they just kind of, it feels so limiting because who says like if you really like something who says that you can't wear it, that's the first thing. Like treating systems so rigidly. They know and they're all knowing and I feel like we are all kind of obsessed maybe with that idea of looking in the best way.

But I know for myself at least, that when I like my outfit, when I'm feeling confident in the outfit. It trumps everything. You know, I might not be wearing my best colors. [00:20:00] I might not be wearing the best shapes and everything for my body, but if my energy is there, if I like what I'm wearing, it comes through so much more powerfully than if I'm technically in an outfit that is in the right color and the right shape and everything and I hate it. It always shows up in your posture, in your voice, in everything.

Use systems as tools, but don't take them as absolute gospel and a rule book and that's it.

Gabrielle: Yeah.

Mili Velikova: Right?

Gabrielle: People go in with systems imagining them like as absolute truths. Like they're a math equation, like one plus one equals two, and they're absolutely not. They're created by artists who are freethinking and creative and are made to break the rules. And I think that if we talk, and I have talked to a lot of these people.

Do they have some like general shape of a framework that they believe intrinsically is very helpful for people? Absolutely. But are they rigid about their system as rigid as like the online communities have made them seem? I don't think they are at all.

I think they really want [00:21:00] us to be artists just like they are. And I think most of them would identify more with the artist side than the absolute truth. This is a scientific with a proof, you know, that's just not how they do it.

Let's talk a little bit about the gap between online advice and real life. Because I think that's another place people get lost, right? They watch videos, they think they understand it, but then their budget or their body or personal context. So all those things pop up and they're like, I don't know how to translate it.

Mili Velikova: So one thing that just came to mind when you were talking is that I studied maths in engineering and even in maths, one plus one is not always two.

Gabrielle: Okay, fair, fair.

Mili Velikova: So, even maths can be kind of more flexible, if you look it from a different point of view.

Even the most rigid thing isn't actually that rigid. So why are we making style systems to be exactly this like absolute truth? So I feel like there is so much difference between advice online and what actually happens in real life. One of [00:22:00] the videos that has been quite successful in my channel recently that I really enjoyed making was basically around wardrobe basics that you don't actually need.

Because one, you know, like I always see those videos as like ‘10 autumn must haves, 10 summer must haves,’ right? I always look at those videos and they're very similar, like people recommend the same things, which kind of annoys me because I'm like, a lot of those wouldn't work for me in my lifestyle.

But also it makes people look exactly the same. If they buy exactly the same things, people spend money on things that don't work for them, don't work for their coloring or their lifestyle or fabrics, kind of the weather that they have and all of that.

So I made that video and it was around kind of like you have to again, ask yourself, what is my life like? What's my climate? What's the weather? What do I do on a daily basis? Do I have the practical constraints of being able to wear this? Because let's say, yes, like you might need a pair of black heels or black ballet [00:23:00] flats. But if you're constantly in the mud or you're running after your kids, neither of those shoes probably will work.

So you have to filter things. And that's why whenever I'm building a capsule wardrobe, whether it's for myself or someone else, first thing we start, what's your lifestyle? What's the weather like and what's your lifestyle? Because the clothes need to be in fabrics that make sense? And, and that's where, you know, like I see online.

For example, people talk about suede. Suede is a huge trend. And you know, suede jacket is such an amazing thing. I love suede as a fabric, but it's so fussy. It requires you to like spray it, protect it. It rains in the UK like almost every day. So this is a purchase that I have to make knowingly that A, it might get ruined. So I don't want to spend too much money on the item. B, I have to protect it. And C, I have to check the weather because even if there is a possibility it might train, I'm not going to wear it because I like this bag and I don't want it to get ruined.

But that's something, that nuance, [00:24:00] people don't talk about it. They say you must have a suede jacket, or a suede jacket is such a classic or a blazer. That's the other thing, like blazers. I love blazers. Amazing. So don't get me wrong, I love a blazer, but so many people around me. They're like, ‘I can't. My lifestyle,’ you know. They work from home or they're having a small child, it doesn't work for them. Or maybe they have curves and they feel very constrained by the probably kind of stiffness of most blazers at least.

I'm always like, okay, so what do you like about it? Well, it's like a third piece. Okay, so how about you maybe make the cardigan? Or there is kind of the softer blazers or a cardigan that is a bit more stiff, but it still is a cardigan, it's not a blazer. How can you do that? Or maybe if you live in a really warm place, can you have a kimono or something that is maybe like made of silk or linen, something that's much like more lightweight rather than the wool blazer.

So, take your lifestyle, take your climate into account and translate that. So asking yourself, would [00:25:00] that actually work for me? Do I have anywhere to wear it? Is this comfortable for me? Does this make sense for my environment? That's the first filter before I buy anything. I have to ask myself, does it make sense for me? And I'm trying not to buy fantasy lifestyle kind of thing.

Gabrielle: Yeah.

Mili Velikova: I feel like that is something that probably I used to do quite a lot five years ago, 10 years ago. And I don't do that now. Like I wear, I'm on index and I have like a closet utilization of about like 90% and it's going to go to a hundred this year because I genuinely like, besides maybe four things that I have that they're too small for me and I'm keeping them because I like them, everything else I actually wear and use. And if I'm not, I sell it, donate it because it doesn't make sense for me for that thing to be in my wardrobe.

Gabrielle: Yeah, it's all about wardrobe balance because I have an inclination, I'm like, that dress is so cute, I love it and I do have somewhere to wear it. I'm going to buy it. And then I buy it and I wear it to the one thing that I thought I could wear it [00:26:00] to, and then it just sits lonely in my closet. And that's fine for a couple pieces, but you can't have 80% of your wardrobe be the cute dress that you just wear once and you're like, well, I can't wear it with my son because it's too short and I'm going to flash all the parents. And that's not good.

Style is Evolution

So there's all these things that we kind of need to think about as balance. But I want to bring up something that I think, everyone should start paying attention to, and you just brought this up. Style is evolution. Who we were five years ago does not necessarily mean that's the exact person where we are today. And that. You know, it's okay for our style to change. It doesn't mean we had bad style. It was reflective of the time.

Sometimes I look back at my outfits and I'm like, what was I thinking then? I think, no, for the time that was very popular, I was more trend focused. That's okay. I'm sure there will be tweaks that I look back on this outfit and I'm like, okay, that was a choice.

So how do we handle style as evolution? How do we be like kind with ourselves? [00:27:00] Is it about uniforms? Is it about maturity? Talk a little bit about that.

Mili Velikova: So again, I made a video sometime ago that was quite kind of just me talking out loud, and it was about what happens when you figure out the perfect things with all of the style systems.

It was kind of around this idea that style is ever evolving. But if we're trying to find our style, it feels very limiting because it basically means that at any point you feel like this is complete and that means that you stopped evolving. And so I know for myself, I'm not the same person that I was at 20 and 25 that I am now at 30 and probably at 35 I will be also very different person.

If I just look back and dress exactly the same when I was 20, 25, 30, 35, that actually means that my style is not reflective of the person that I am. And I feel like style in its kind of idea should be about [00:28:00] self-expression. Yes, it is about maybe dressing appropriately for where we are at and supporting our basic needs. Absolutely. But beyond that practicality, it's also about expressing ourselves.

We can't expect our style to stay exactly the same. And once we find it for nothing to change like ever again, because you as a person will change over time. And so for me, I think, how I realize that I have to be kind to myself is I ask myself like, what did I like about this piece? Let's say like I look at a photo and I'm like, why was I drawn to this? What did I like about it?

Because for me at least, I'm often just drawn to a piece, maybe like I have a vision of how I would wear it or what this piece represents, or maybe it's something that is on trend and maybe, I answer and I'm saying, okay. So I really wanted to fit in because I came from Bulgaria and I'm not from the UK, so I didn't fit in language-wise with the people that I [00:29:00] was studying with. Right?

The way for me to kind of fit in was to maybe dress a little bit more on trends. I could connect with some of the more trendy girls in my class, right? So that's fine. That is something that sort of the needs back then, or they wear that super trend led outfit now? Probably not, because I feel quite secure in who I am and what I have to offer. But back then it was a way for me to fulfill a certain need.

When I look at the outfit from the past, I just ask myself like, why did I like it? Like, well, how did that outfit support me or serve me? And sometimes I find, you know, like I was really drawn to that print and I liked it. And even though I wouldn't wear it, maybe now that's fine because my taste changed. Great. Yeah. Or that length of a skirt, maybe. I, I look back like I, I really don't like how this looked on me.

I don't want to use the word flattering, but let's say like, I didn't find it very nice on me. Like again, I wouldn't wear it today. But I didn't know better. [00:30:00] I have the saying curve 'you can only do as much with the information that you're given.' And maybe at that point, I didn't have all of the tools and the knowledge that I have right now.

I feel like we often judge ourselves with our present knowledge and lens. But back then, if you had that knowledge, you'll have made a different choice. Yeah. And so the fact that you didn't means that you didn't have that knowledge, right?

That's kind of how I try to think not just about style, but just even like past decisions that some people would label as mistakes. I just look at them as like lessons because yeah, like if I had known differently, I would have made a different choice, but I didn't. And I know different now, so I'm making different choices. And the same thing kind of applies to my outfits. Would I wear the same thing today? Probably not. But I can filter that through what I know now, maybe about my body, my coloring, how I like to put things together and I can put an outfit that feels authentic to me right now.

Gabrielle: Absolutely. [00:31:00] We have to learn what we're striving for too, right? Because if I look back on some of my chapters of fashion and style and when I was exploring different systems and trying things out and leaning heavily into them. Sometimes , I'd look at the daily outfit photos and I'd be like, wow, I obviously those like 20 outfits that I wore that month, a lot of them would be considered very good outfits.

I can see that they're like arguably like good proportions, nice colors, nothing is wrong with them. And then I see like kind of my post bright spring analysis and when I start to play with more color and where I lean more back into like playful stuff, which is like where I was like years and years ago.

I'm like, well, those outfits that were like more denim and more effortless girl. You know, like the more Pinterest cool, like casual, like I just threw this on and look at me, you know, I'm like, those are fine outfits. Like there's nothing wrong with them. But once I got that color analysis, I was like, I'm going to filter things through this.

The style, my style changed, my perspective changed. I [00:32:00] had new information and I had suddenly had a connection point that made sense for me. I know some people get color analysis and they're like, 'Nope, I'm never going to touch those colors.' And that's totally fine too. So you have to find the right framework for you too, right, and be like, this was super helpful. This was not, and what feels more innate? And, and that comes back to are you dressing for yourself, for your internal feelings? Are you dressing for other people to give you compliments? There's all these ways we can dress and we're all just trying to figure it out.

What do you think is the best advice you can give someone who is in an evolution stage? Like they've looked at their style and they're like, those were good outfits, but now I have this bit of information and I want to go here. How does someone manage that shift? Like how do they give themselves permission to evolve?

Mili Velikova: It's a great question actually. I think it comes back to the idea of freedom, first of all. Because I feel like knowledge is power and knowledge is freedom. Like you said, like when you know more, like, you know your [00:33:00] color analysis for example, that's knowledge, right? And, that's freedom because you have the power to say, okay, I love those colors, I'm going to use that.

Or, like you said, maybe I'll make a choice not to use that to absolutely discard that analysis because I don't like it. I don't agree with it. And so just understanding that you still have freedom to make decisions regardless of the systems. I think that's kind of like the first thing that you can give yourself permission to.

Timing Your Style Experimentations

The next thing. I feel like you have to give yourself permission to experiment. And that's why I like maybe style challenges and I like to look at everything as, almost as an experiment of, let's see what happens. And I don’t know if you do that or anyone else does that, but I love just sitting aside sometime, I don’t know, half an hour or an hour and I just play with my clothes with no agenda.

Because I find when I have to go somewhere, let's say I have to go to work or I have to go for brunch with my friend, that's a really bad time to experiment with your style. Because you're [00:34:00] under time pressure. Either I would put an outfit that is boring and safe, like it works, but then I won't feel happy because I'm like, this is old to me. This is not who I am right now. Or I'll put an outfit that feels good in the mirror and then I'll go out and I realize actually, 'oh, I'm a bit uncomfortable and this wasn't right either.'

And so I find that like when you have time pressure, it doesn't work. Whether you take, I don’t know, half an hour in the evening, maybe after the kids have gone to bed, or maybe you go shopping alone and you just try on different clothes or sit on the transport when you're going to work and you try to maybe recreate the Pinterest outfit with the clothes you already have. Just having that time to be creative, to try things on to experiment is going to give you a little bit of that confidence that yes, there are outfits that you can build. Yes, that outfits you can build right now that you like, that you represent.

And I feel like most of the successful outfits that I [00:35:00] wear, that I genuinely like happen in that creative space. Like they don't happen when I follow, like sit down and follow a system of like, first I do this and then I do that and then Kibbe said this, and then my essence has said that like, this is extremely analytical and I feel like in the end, style is something that is a little bit of an art, a little bit of a kind of beauty kind of thing. And so yes, you can have the knowledge and da, da da. But you have to allow yourself that time to play with clothes without any agenda, like.

You don't have to take that outfit anywhere. When you give yourself that time, you'll come up with at least one, two things that you're like, oh. That's cool. I'm excited to try it. And then you make that little step. Maybe you wear that outfit to the grocery store again.

I feel like sometimes we debut those difficult pieces or new outfits. We debut them at very high pressure situations, like dinner with the in-laws or going to work [00:36:00] or meeting a new person and you're like, no, no, no. Like go to the grocery store, go to the post office, just run some half an hour errands with something new that maybe you are getting used to.

See how you feel. Get your comfort level a bit up. And the more you do that, the more you're like, okay, I feel more comfortable with my new style direction. Maybe this blouse that used to feel a bit on the edge of my comfort zone, maybe even my stretch zone, now it feels more comfortable.

Like this outfit I'm wearing today, two years ago would be completely outside of my comfort zone, but through wearing pieces and allowing myself to experiment with things and then wear them out and about a little bit. Even in the house, to be honest, I work from home most of the time. I get dressed every day because just being in my clothes for a few hours, no one sees me. It doesn't matter. I've been in those clothes, I've lived in them.

I can then judge, do I like this outfit? Do I not? Is it comfortable? Is it not? So it allows you to truly experience [00:37:00] clothes and give yourself that evolution, like that permission to evolve and change like in a more practical way.

Gabrielle: Yeah, I think creativity and like creative play is so important. Because you gather all this knowledge and then you think it's a rule book. And really it's a skillset, like you said, it's a skillset that allows you to look at a creative play exploration outfit and say, okay, I know what's working and I know what's not for me. Right?

Like, you can look at that and say, you know what? This sleeve is too much for me. This is what I don't like about it. Let me swap it out for a more slim, fitted sleeve. One that doesn't, attract too much attention here. That's not something I'm feeling comfortable with right now. So they're not rules. They're teaching you a skillset. And what I think is really interesting is I think that skillset gives us intention.

The intention to achieve the idea that we have in our heads, right? The idea that we're like, I want to communicate this and [00:38:00] this is my intention and I've now achieved that. It's funny when we think about it, like think about when you said those high pressure situations. I was a wedding designer, dress designer for a really long time, and I helped people make like their custom, like the dress of their dreams for the biggest day of their life, like quote unquote, and they always loved it.

We always landed on something that they were really happy with, that they were like, this is just so me. And think about how much work and intention went into understanding that. Like what fabric, what sleeve, what do I want to communicate? How do I want to feel, how do I want to be perceived? And I think that as we play and as we explore and as we gain knowledge, we understand our intention more so that we can distill that kind of ' I've crafted the perfect dress for my perfect day down' and be able to say, I can also create an outfit that I'm going to the grocery and look just as good and feel just as good in.

Style as a Confidence Tool

How do you think that style can be like a confidence tool or help us grow kind of as people, because it's like, it's a [00:39:00] big self-reflection and you ask yourself a lot of questions on this journey.

Mili Velikova: Yeah, yeah, absolutely. And I feel like growth is uncomfortable. And I feel like that is something that people get misunderstood maybe sometimes.

I used to be a coach, I still am a coach and I used to work a lot with clients around like personal development. And I feel like everyone had this idea that growing and developing and changing should be like so fun. Because it's personal development or in this case like style development, right? We feel discomfort because we're stretching ourselves, right?

And we have this expectation that it should be comfortable, that it should be pleasant, should be easy. And the thing is that when you are growing your style and you're evolving your style, you will probably feel uncomfortable or stretched quite a lot of the time. It might be the first 15 minutes in a day when you put on a new outfit, and I feel like this is where people sometimes, like they put on an outfit and then they take it off because oh, it doesn't feel comfortable. [00:40:00] Yeah, but if you only wear what is a hundred percent comfortable now, your style will never change.

If you do want to change because you don't like the style that you have right now, you have to be willing to experience a little bit of discomfort. Now we're not talking going in your bra to the grocery store, let's be honest, we have to be sensible. But if it's a new blazer, a new color, a new something that you are wearing, don't expect to feel confident from the get go.

So like when I used to teach confidence, it was like this whole idea that courage comes before confidence. And so all you need to have regardless of the situation is to have the courage to wear something and over time that's going to build your confidence. For me, I found that style has really helped me over the years.

And that was kind of a recent reflection really. Over the years, whenever I felt imposter syndrome, that idea that I'm not good enough, I don't belong in a certain place, I've always [00:41:00] felt like style helped me to feel prepared, to feel better, more competent. And an example that came to mind when I was thinking about this is I used to be an engineer, I was pretty good, but like I was definitely not intuitive when it comes to engineering, but I was a good student. And so I got asked to do some tutorials and even like a lecture once.

And I was absolutely like breaking game is so, so scary because I had the level of knowledge, but it wasn't deep, right? And so I thought always to myself that I might not be the smartest tutor. I might not be the most knowledgeable person in the room. And sometimes there'll be people older than me, you know, like I was teaching maybe second year, but it's a mature student.

And so there'll be people with like 20 years of practical experience. And I'm there like in my twenties trying to teach them stuff, right? Huge imposter syndrome. That's when I said, you know what, I'm just going to wear that blazer because to me, a blazer symbolizes authority. It's something that gave me [00:42:00] that structure, that power, that almost like confidence that, hey, I know what I'm doing.

And I didn't feel confident the first 2, 3, 4 tutorials that I gave. And it was my clothes and the fact that I liked my outfit and I wore something that's gave me that confidence almost. It helped me to be myself, to show up in that situation, to have the courage to actually do something quite uncomfortable.

There is this whole like recognition, right? That our clothes shape how we feel. And so for me putting on a blazer was almost like putting on a cape of confidence. And that helped me. And I know sometimes when people start a new job, right? And maybe you don't know the environment, you don’t know the colleagues, maybe you're feeling a bit of impostor syndrome because the role is stretching you, right?

And that's where style can be such a powerful tool. You can wear pieces that give you that confidence. So like it might be like your favorite things, your favorite accessory, something that gives you a sense of comfort and familiarity. That's one way of doing it. Or you can [00:43:00] wear something like maybe a slightly bigger blazer or a pair of tailored pants.

I like loafers. Maybe a structured bag, like something that gives you that feeling of competence and structure. And then see how you feel. Because the more you get to know the environment, maybe you'll feel like actually. I don't need that structured bag. I feel very comfortable now with my colleagues. I'm just going to wear the bag that I like.

In the beginning you almost like need that extra boost of confidence. And so I feel like clothes are really powerful in that way. Same things with colors. Something that I say right now, like I love color analysis. I'm so happy that they got it and in moments that matter, I really pay attention to the colors that I'm wearing.

So, for example, for things like podcasts, interviews, I do a lot of like in-person virtual delivery. I would always wear my best colors because I'm on camera and I want to look my best. But if I'm just hanging out with my [00:44:00] friends and I have, I always like say like, I have this like, very soft yellow kind of fuzzy jumper.

It is one of my worst colors. Like I'm a cool winter and this is a warm and muted color, but I love it. The yellow just makes me happy, right? And so I would wear it in a situation there, and it's going to give me the energy and the confidence and the feeling that I need in that moment, that softness maybe. Right?

It's really important to ask yourself, like, what do you want from your clothes? And you can absolutely use them as a tool to give you that extra boost of confidence in an unfamiliar situation, whatever that is.

Gabrielle: I love asking like, what do I want from this? Because I love color analysis. I found so much, clarity through it. But I also, sometimes I'm like, no, I like that black turtleneck. Is it my best color? No. Do I look a little pale? Sure. But it works, you know, and it's like bending the rules to fit your own personal lens, your own goals or what you might need.

Like I just want to look put together. I want an easy outfit. This is an [00:45:00] easy yes for me. You also talk a lot about, on your channel, all about like thrifting and secondhand and kind of the bridge between sustainability and modern shopping. Do you want to talk a little bit about that? Because I'd love to.

Mili Velikova: Yeah, so something that I am really happy about is that secondhand kind of preloved fashion is now a trending thing. Yes. It does mean that there is a little bit less choice in stores, but it's something that I've been waiting to happen for maybe about 15 years. Because like actually started thrifting very, very early on.

Two Kinds of  “Thrifters”

Probably again about that age of 14, 15 when I started having a bit of like pocket money. I would go to like secondhand stores in Bulgaria, but like at that point it was the least cool thing you can do. Like it was almost shameful to buy things preloved because there was that perception that, ‘Oh, you are too poor to buy new things. That's why you're buying secondhand.’ And for me, I just love the fact that in a secondhand store you could find [00:46:00] so many more interesting things that were just not available or I couldn't afford. Let's say I would like a jacket and it would cost like £200, and I'm like, there's no way in hell I could have ever like afford this.

But maybe in the thrift store it costs like £10 and I'll be like, okay, actually this is doable. And so I could afford the clothes that I liked and I could find slightly more interesting things. Maybe, I don’t know, like a cool top or a pair of jeans that just weren't available. So I started doing this when I was very young and I am really happy that it's become kind of more popular right now.

Thrifting for me was almost as like this idea that the two kinds of people, like when I saw people online talking about thrifting, they were the people that were only doing it for sustainability and they would just buy like the most maybe like basic stuff, you know? Like I would buy like my pair of jeans and t-shirt and that's it. Like very minimalist thrifting.

There was this idea like, oh, the super eclectic vintage person, right? [00:47:00] So it was like the modern thrifter and the very vintage thrifter. Yeah. And I'm like, okay, but like what happens if you're someone that maybe still wants to look on trend, still wants to dress with personality.

So my personality is very much not vintage, but it's also not this like super minimalist, clean girl basic kind of outfit, right? Like nothing wrong with either of those. No, it's just not me. And I didn't see myself represented at all when it comes to thrifters, like to what people were showing kind of the secondhand stuff.

And so I really want to show on my channel that you can still dress in a modern way, you can still find trends, you can still have your own personal style and buy things preloved because it's better for the environment, it's better for your wallet. Like it's just better for everyone.

But I feel like there is this whole like stigma still a little bit around like why would I buy preloved when I can buy new? And also that maybe there isn't cool enough stuff in the thrift stores. I [00:48:00] get that everyone's context is very different. I know that in some places there really isn't much choice secondhand, but I feel like with the new, like vintage for example, in the UK and in Europe is such a huge platform. I know in the US like Poshmark is really huge.

You have access to so many clothes secondhand that like you can find pretty much anything you want preloved and so. I would sometimes like buy stuff new. Like, it's not like I'm against that, but I really want to show people that you can have a really modern, really fun, really personalized wardrobe. And buy that secondhand and just be more sustainable.

Gabrielle: Yeah. I think it adds so much more uniqueness to your wardrobe, too. And what's interesting is as we develop, like go through these frameworks and color and Kibbe and Kitchener and all these different elements, body matrix, whatever it is, we learn things about ourselves, right?

We're like, okay, I know I'm a bright spring, but oh my gosh, everything is muted in every store right now. Like, there's like two pieces that are bright and I don't like either of them. So when we think about it, like [00:49:00] thrifting really opens up those doors for us, right? We can say, Hey, I know that like two years ago, this company did great brights, so I'm going to go look for it.

So, thrifting isn't as constrained as it used to be. It wasn't like I go to my thrift store every weekend and I check what they have and I come out with like almost nothing all the time. Now you have so much more, you have all the same access. But it opens the doors. You're not saying, okay, this is on trend, so I have to shop the muted. So that's all I get. Yeah.

Mili Velikova: A hundred percent. And something that kind of came to mind just now is that it's such a great way to experiment with trends or with new colors or with anything. When you start experimenting with a system, let's say, right? Let's say color analysis, it can be really expensive as well.

Like even if you can find the correct colors in stores, right? Like I had pretty much an autumn wardrobe in terms of colors when I found that I'm a cool winter. So yes, I had some reds and pinks that's I wore despite the fact that I [00:50:00] was typed as an autumn before. But 80% of my wardrobe wasn't actually in the correct colors.

And so for me, let's say I didn't have anything blue. And so going out and buying even two or three new things in blue would have been hundreds of pounds versus in the charity shops that we have in here, which is like our thrift stores. I went and I bought, you know, like a top in a cobalt blue for like £4 and something else, like a pair of trousers or something for like £5, £6.

So I spent very little money and it allowed me to experiment with the color and figure out to actually like it. Do I wear it? And the same thing with some shapes. Maybe, you know, like a blazer, it can be a huge investment for like, it's hundreds of dollars and pounds sometimes, right? So many blazers. Like try it.

Buy something for £10, try it, see if you like it. It's such a great way to experiment and if something doesn't work, that's fine. It kind of lessens that feeling of guilt that they used to have when I would buy something new and [00:51:00] then it wouldn't work and then I wouldn't know what to do with it because I wasn't wearing it, but I spent the money so I felt like I should wear it.

With thrifting, it just gives you a bit of that permission slip, especially if you're evolving, if you're trying new tools and systems to play a bit more, try new things. Very recently I bought the rugby shirt, you know, like that's a trend right now. And I was like, I'm actually quite intrigued by that because I like stripes, I like color, I like those little colors. So as elements, it's actually something that is cool. I have nothing like that in my wardrobe. I found one for £2, which is like $3 maybe in my charity shop. I bought it and I've made an outfit I'm going to wear like in a couple of days and I'm excited.

But I also know that if it's something that maybe I realize after six months that it is not actually a core part of my style, that's fine. But I wouldn't go and buy that new just to be on trend. That kind of availability in the thrift stores, like [00:52:00] pretty much everything that we see is available there and I feel like it just gives you so much more ability to play and try things.

Gabrielle: Yeah. It's like creativity and it's low stakes and it's a much more sustainable way to do that instead of kind of just like the fast fashion halls.

Mili Velikova: Oh yeah.

Gabrielle: Because at the end of the day, if you find out, okay, that rugby shirt isn't for me, it's still a nice quality rugby shirt. You can either rehome it, you can do clothing swaps with your friends, you can, you know, donate it back into the charity shop.

There's a cycle there that allows a good quality piece of clothing to have life with you and then maybe move on to other people. Whereas the fast fashion halls, you're like, investing in exploration only, but you're not considering the impact it's having on your budget, on your style and kind of the thought process behind building those outfits.

Mili Velikova: Oh, yeah.

Gabrielle: It's kind of a bad habit because then you just get into it. When you find your perfect t-shirt, you don't want to spend the $60 on it because, well, you can just get the [00:53:00] disposable one for like $4. You know, and it's kind of like, how do you balance out your budget and your style goals? And I think thrifting is a great way to do that.

I want to talk about your style strategy sessions, because first of all, I love that name. Style Strategy is amazing. It's something that you offer. Do you want to talk a little bit about that?

Analytical Approach to Styling

Mili Velikova: Yeah, so I came up with the name because people kept telling me that my videos are different because I'm very analytical. That's something that I've known about myself, but it's not something that I reflected on that made me maybe different than a lot of other style channels that were more about, well just put this in this together and that's it. It works. Like my channel's a bit different, so.

I wanted the name of what I offered to be reflective of the fact that this is very strategic and we are going to actually do some practical work and you're going to walk out with something very actionable.

So, in my style strategy sessions, I keep them quite open based on the client. So [00:54:00] sometimes people come to me and they want to figure out their style roots and style words. So let's say they'll send me outfits and then I would reflect on that myself. I would ask them some questions in the form that we do, and then in the actual session, and by the end of it, they will know what their style roots and style words are, right? And that's kind of one way of doing this.

I've had people that already have done quite a lot of analysis, so let's say they're quite advanced. So they knew, for example, the color analysis, they knew their style roots, style words, and they just wanted to figure out, okay, why aren't my outfits working? Some are working, some are not. What's the difference?

And I love doing that with one of my clients, we did a body analysis, and I figured out, you know, like their small things. Let's say the shape of the pants is correct, but maybe how it's sitting on you like the rise, the ankle, the length or something like that isn't.

So, it allows us to really go deep into analyzing what your style challenge is [00:55:00] and then create a strategy for how we're going to work through that. Sometimes it's about shopping. People keep buying the wrong buys and they don't know why they're not working, and so we go through reasons why maybe they're not wearing this or why something isn't working.

I purposefully kind of ask the client, what do you want to work on so then we can work on it's always very much, I spent hours on the backend kind of like analyzing and preparing for it to allow us to really like maximize our time together. It's such a collaborative process and I know it sound like a corporate person, but it truly is a collaboration.

Like I'm not some guru that's going to come and tell you, these are your colors, this is your shape. That's it. I can tell you what I'm seeing from my perspective in terms of what's working, what's not working, what you've told me you like or you don't like. I often spot patterns. I feel like that's the thing that makes those sessions different, maybe from asking chatGPT or doing it yourself.

I'm really good at spotting patterns and kind of [00:56:00] analyzing what I'm seeing in front of me. I have no attachment to anyone's wardrobe, anyone's outfit. So I can look at 20 photos and spot what's working, what's not working, what are the trends in that wardrobe like, what sort of links you prefer, what sort of things you reach for.

So, that is kind of what we do together. I'm sharing my observations, I'm asking questions, and then together we work on a plan of like next steps for that specific person. So whether that is to experiment with something, whether that is to buy something that's a gap in their wardrobe, whether it's declutter, whether it is to try a new outfit formula and see how they feel.

I often find that like people then like rebook for another one because they've solved one challenge. Fantastic. And they want to take it the next level, right? Then we work on something else because they want to maybe develop their signature style or something else, right? And so it's very much that process that I find super rewarding for me as kind of a guide doing it.

[00:57:00] I've had some really amazing reviews as well from people. And it's always a pleasure when someone decides to book that with me.

Gabrielle: Yeah, it sounds like you really customize it to each person's goals and there's not a one size fits all. Like, we're going to do this, we're going to do that. It's all about the individual.

On top of that, it sounds like you're really good at like mining the data. They give you all their rough, you know, the outfits, their wardrobe, and you're kind of like, okay, I know you don't see this but your closet is the problem or I know you don't see this, but we're seeing a trend in pants and maybe we need to shift from here to here.

So, you're strategizing on just kind of how to help them in that e evolution phase or that 70% phase where 70% is good and we're hitting on so many things. But if you did this, you'd hit a hundred, you know?

Mili Velikova: Yeah.

Gabrielle: Wonderful.

Mili Velikova: A hundred percent.

Gabrielle: Yeah. And like something that happens. Well, I mean, that's the goal, right?

Maybe. Maybe.

Mili Velikova: Yeah. And I find that so many times, which is a great thing, I hope that someone watching might feel good about it. But like so many times what they [00:58:00] tell people is something that either they've known deep inside, but they've never allowed themselves.

Let's say like I would tell them about the shape of a pant. I would explain why it's not working. They're like, I always felt like something's wrong with this specific pair of pants. And I just put it into words so then I can prevent them from buying the same thing over and over again. But like we often have this intuition, this kind of inner feeling of what's working, what's not, colors, styles.

And often we are very close. So let's say like maybe a lot of the outfits that aren't working. Have two of your three style roots or three style words, and then you just need little tweaks. Like it's not completely overhauling, and sometimes people come and say, 'oh, I hate my wardrobe. I need to start from scratch.' and it's never the case.

Gabrielle: No.

Mili Velikova: Most of the time a lot of the things are already working. It's just small things and tweaks that we can kind of adjust and fix that make the biggest difference in actually going from hating your wardrobe to loving your outfits and your wardrobe as well. [00:59:00]

Gabrielle: Yeah. I think as a stylist sometimes it really is about giving the client permission and validation. Not that they need it in any way. We as individuals do not actually need those to exist, but sometimes it helps us. It helps us have that confidence to say, I always thought there was something about those colors that worked for me, but I never could get the balance right. And you're like, no, you absolutely are those colors, but you just need to try it this way.

It's like the light bulb goes off and they can see themselves in that new light. And it's just that freedom to say like, let me try this. Let me embrace this. I've been given the courage to kind of play, and I don't have to look perfect every single day.

It's low stakes. If an outfit stinks, move on to the next day. There's no one that doesn't have a bad outfit every once in a while.

Mili Velikova: Oh, yeah. Everyone has that.

Gabrielle: Exactly.

Mili Velikova: Some people don't show it. And I know as a creator, I would rarely show my really bad outfits. I try to be more honest. I would make a video sometimes about, here is why those five outfits [01:00:00] didn't work, let's fix them together.

But like, yeah, you don't show that in real time. And that's why sometimes there is this misconception that style creators and bloggers and whatever they always get it right. It's not the case. No one has a hundred percent success.

Gabrielle: And you know, like we're presenting as professionals. You see us on sometimes in the best light, you know. So, you don't see the ones where like, I wore an outfit and I was like, what was I thinking?

I didn't like that when I had it on. I didn't like it. At the end of the day, I would never wear it again. Like, okay, avoid that, that combination. And it takes a little personal reflection too, right? I need to reflect on why I didn't like it. I'm like, well, it was in my colors.

It was this. What about it was not hitting for me? What was the missing link that just made it a complete fail in my eyes? And you know, it takes a little time usually even as a professional. Nothing is, as we say, effortless.

Mili Velikova: Absolutely. Like it does take me time sometimes even days, weeks, to figure it out. And oftentimes I would make a different outfit with that same piece and realize, okay, it's actually not the piece that [01:01:00] is wrong, it's just how I styled it was a bit off, and then figure out kind of what happened and what's changed and why it's working better now. So it's okay as well if sometimes it's just a bad outfit that you don't have to always know why and you don't always have to like figure it out.

But having given that folder of your bad outfits or storing it somewhere like on index. It can be such a helpful tool to just figure out, okay, this wasn't working, let's figure it out. And sometimes it's even your mood, you know? Women, especially, I feel we go to those different stages in our period and stuff.

I know sometimes like there's some days when I would wear an and I hate it and then two weeks later I'll wear the same thing and I love it and it's just horrible.

Gabrielle: It's just sometimes I'm just like, I feel really ugly and I'm going to hate every outfit I put on. So I'm not even going to try to get a cute outfit.

I'm just going to try to get like that outfit that feels like a warm hug. Like that's what I'm going for today. A percent.

Mili Velikova: Some days, I just have the bar extremely low, so I just want to be cozy and that's it. I accept that this outfit might not be my best [01:02:00] and it doesn't have to be my best. It's just an outfit. But there are certain days when I put a bit more effort and I have a higher expectation. And so that's when it matters.

Gabrielle: Well it goes back to that permission, like giving yourself permission to be like, ah, it's just not it today. Like it's not going to be a like a 10 outta 10 outfit. And that's okay.

Well we will make sure that all your style strategy links are below and all your wonderful videos and channel because you have such an interesting perspective and I think you make fashion really accessible and you teach people how to build that skill, which is really missing in the online community.

We've talked about all the frameworks, all the things, but at the end of the day, if you don't understand how to hone that skill, how to like handle trial and error, how to like evolve it from, here are the rules, how do I build it into a skill, a habit that I can use day to day. And I think you just do that so well.

What Your Closet Say About You

I would love to end on a fun question if you'll indulge me.

Mili Velikova: Yeah, of course.

Gabrielle: Okay. So if your wardrobe could [01:03:00] talk today, what do you think it would say about you and who you are right now?

Mili Velikova: That's a really good question actually. So I think it would say that I am multidimensional, perhaps. I'm not sure if that's the right word, but that I have a lot of different sides.

I feel like for the longest time I've tried to put myself in a box and I never felt like I fit in anywhere, like all the way from high school when I was doing maths, but I was also interested in style and I found that really hard to kind of reconcile. And now I feel like my wardrobe has given me that permission to just have multiple sides.

So, I have really sporty pieces. I have really, sharp tailored pieces. I have very feminine. I have more structured masculine pieces, like harder, you know, edgier stuff. And I feel like my wardrobe would just say like, you are a multidimensional person. You have different sides to yourself. And just let yourself be who you are without trying to fit in [01:04:00] anyone's expectation of you.

Gabrielle: I absolutely love that. Because I think so much of the online advice is like streamline wardrobe. It should all connect, it should all intermingle. It should all be this one thing. It should all fit this one thing. And we get so hung up on like, but I really like this red dress and it doesn't go with my classic minimalism, rest of my wardrobe.

Can I still have the fun red dress? And you're like, yes, yes. You can have the fun red dress or yes, you can have the sporty side or yes, you can have your, you know, gothic fun fairy style core in the background of your closet. And you can be all of these people. Right. It's wonderful.

Mili Velikova: Yeah.

Gabrielle: Well, thank you so much, Mili.

Mili Velikova: I just wanted to say like, we should allow ourselves to have more than one side and more than one personality. And I feel like yes, it can be confusing sometimes, but at the same time, trying to streamline yourself to just one characteristic is never productive. And so I feel like we're already being limited in so many ways.

I feel like style should be about freedom and being who you are. And if who you are is [01:05:00] multidimensional, just let yourself be that.

Gabrielle: Yeah, and when we think about it, like when we try to distill our style down into this like tight, tight little nugget of like one word, like I am minimalist, you're like, but think about your personality.

Sure, you may be very classic and refined and like literature, but you know, you also like reality TV or something, you know, it's like these dualities can exist within the same person. Our style should reflect those dualities, those elements and like the essence of you. So I think it's just a liberating approach and I love that your wardrobe is like, this is just all the different things that I'm all about.

Thank you so much for coming on Mili. It's been lovely chatting with you and I am anxiously awaiting your next videos.

Mili Velikova: Oh, thank you so much for having me as well. It's been such a thought provoking conversation for me as well and I appreciate you being here and I'm really glad that I could share like my thoughts.

Gabrielle: I know it's been wonderful. Okay, guys, until next time.