Style Files: The Eccentric Old Lady in an English Manor

Another episode of Style Files, where I talk with real listeners about their real style journeys. This time I’m talking with Valerie about how fit changed everything for her, how she built a personal style persona she calls “an eccentric old lady in an English manor,” and why personal style is often more about storytelling than rules. We also get into tailoring, thrifting, style systems, and finding what actually feels like you.

Full Show Notes: https://gabriellearruda.com/style-files-the-eccentric-old-lady-in-an-english-manor

Countess Image: https://www.artnet.com/artists/bruce-weber/the-duchess-of-devonshire-feeding-her-chickens-at-zvjzSVgfWXvUq7CFDKD4ig2

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Disclaimer: The Style POV Podcast content is for general informational purposes only and should not be considered professional advice. The views expressed by hosts and guests are their own. Gabrielle Arruda is not liable for any errors or omissions, and listeners use the information at their own risk.

Transcript

Gabrielle: [00:00:00] Welcome back to Style Files, the part of the show where I talk to real listeners about their real style journeys, all about what worked for them, what doesn't, and the honest process of figuring it all out. 

Today I'm talking with Valerie. Her journey starts with a lot of discomfort around clothes and fit. Years of trying to make things work, an access problem to new stores and new styles, and then a slow shift into seeing style as an identity in storytelling. And her new point of view involves an old manor house, a touch of mischief, and maybe even a stable boy.

 Let's get into it. 

Hi, Valerie, thank you so much for coming on the Style Files. I'm so excited to talk all about your personal style today. Do you wanna start with where your personal style journey started? 

Valerie: Yes and thank you for having me. I'm so excited also because I mean, I am pretty much, a regular gal here. I will start from the beginning in the sense that I'm French Canadian, so that's the accent. Coming from Northern Ontario in the eighties, so very remote area [00:01:00] and everything. coming from blue collar, middle class, four sibling.

And We didn't have access in the sense that it was Sears catalog shopping. We didn't have a Walmart. So there was definitely like the hand me downs, the, it's too tight because obviously, my sister was two years older than me, but I soon catch up, right? and also during those times, you know, I was watching Fashion Television with Jeanne Beker. I was watching like those, Gone with the Wind, you know, fantasy Yeah thing. And like my princesses wasn't like Disney princesses, it was like Cici, empress of Australia. So there was a lot of fantasy and a lot of those teenage crisis, what I'm going to wear today for school because nothing fit me and my parents are pretty much like no nonsense people like.

Is it clean? Does it fit? No wear and tear. Yeah. Like you're good to go it girl. [00:02:00] Like, 

Gabrielle: So there's these two things, like this fantasy element, this like Gone with the Wind, your own version of your Disney princess and then the like, fashionist functional, you wear whatever's in your closet and you get to it. So there's two opposite ends, right? 

Valerie: Yes. That's it. And there's no reconciliation, right? Like Yeah. 

Gabrielle: Especially at like, what, 14. You're like, how do I merge these? 

Valerie: Yeah, that's it. And then I move to suburban Ontario, still remote, still Northern Ontario. 150,000 population.

I'm starting to have money. I study history. I have a master in history, like not in costume, but still prevalent, right? Because of all those movies that I was watching and everything. 

Gabrielle: Yeah. 

Valerie: But I have a little more access So what I really realize, looking back like and still today, it's all the fit, right?

I was 

Gabrielle: Oh yeah. 

Valerie: Kind of traumatized about like clothing not fitting me till like 15, and [00:03:00] now, I'm shopping and I have some disposable money, even when I was a student at university. It was like, is it fitting me well? Like, am I comfortable?

and fitting. It was also the silhouette, like proportion, like for me, fit is that include all those notion and also looking back, I was watching Fashion Television. I knew like Alexander McQueen. I was purchasing those magazine, you know, those Glimmer, Vogue and so on.

But it was still a fantasy self. It was still like, this is so pretty, I wish. I don't even know where to start to look for those things like, yeah. 

Gabrielle: Well it sounds like even though you had more money or slightly more access, you weren't, you know, exposed to the Alexander McQueen store, you weren't exposed to the tailoring that is involved in that level.

he's an amazing example because he got a start in tailoring. his tailoring is perfection. And if you wanna talk about good fit, he's a great example of [00:04:00] that. So it's clear like you are honing in on people who are like, I know how to tailor and I know how to make clothes be in perfect harmony with the body, no matter their silhouette, no matter their shape.

so fits really important. How were you feeling about clothes on your body at that time? was it getting better from when you were 14 or was it 

Valerie: Yes, definitely. When I look back, I still see what I'm doing today, right? Like person is not different.

Like, she's not elevated. Right? I didn't have a clear direction of where my style was going. I remember, Canadian people will know about Le Château. Le Château was the "it" store for like teenage young adult. And I remember , I made this purchase. It was a suede coat, and it was like, very fitted, everything.

I guess it was the reproduction of a Halston, you know, smoker. 

Gabrielle: Oh, beautiful. 

He also knew how to cut completely different Yeah. Approach than McQueen, boy does he know how to cut. 

Valerie: So it was like the beginning of 2000. Okay. [00:05:00] no. Online shopping don't exist. Like you have to go to a real store. 

Gabrielle: Yeah. And back then, right. It's like I forget about that. I'm like, oh yeah. I couldn't just like order it on Nordstrom.com.

Valerie: No, that's it. And you're aware what you see. That's it. And again, limited access because it's Northern Ontario, it's still remote area. for people again, don't know, it's the second largest city in Canada, mostly francophone in the province of Quebec.

And it's kind of a little fashion hub, right? So before moving to Montreal to do my PhD that I never finished. and I went to this new store, it was American Eagle. 

Gabrielle: Okay. 

Valerie: You know, like, it was like, yeah, 

Gabrielle: I remember American Eagle. it was a big deal. So I get it. You were excited, I'm sure. Talk us through this experience. 

Valerie: And I purchased this blazer. It is my first blazer ever. Now I have a collection. Just, you know. 

Gabrielle: [00:06:00] Okay. it started the trend. 

Valerie: And I remember I paid $100 for that blazer, and it was like, yeah, I paid more for my coats, like the suede coat and so on.

But I mean, for a coat you usually spend more, right? I remember like, oh my God, can I spend a hundred dollars on a blazer? Yeah. And I remember I wear it and I was like, it just fit perfectly. And I remember I went back to my friend and I was like, I gotta wear that blazer like forever. And I still have that blazer, that blazer's 25 years old.

Gabrielle: Worth the a hundred bucks. Man, that's been a workhorse piece. I mean. 

Valerie: It's a little tired. I wear less these days, but , it's still in my wardrobe. Like it's my archives, 

Gabrielle: I love that. Okay. 

Valerie: it again, like it's not clear where I'm going with my style, but it's definitely like high moment and I wanna recreate that, right?

that garment can change the whole outfit. And then I [00:07:00] moved to Montreal and I meet a lot of people. I have two separate group. Mm-hmm. It's one of my friend and, she's still my best friend now and she was doing those trading clothing. We used to call it switch. 

Gabrielle: Clothing swaps. 

Valerie: Thank you. Yeah. We used to call it switch and bitch. I mean, that was in 2005, 2006. The whole like, recycling, thrifting is not a thing. Mm-hmm. She's 10 years older than me, like, so I was 25, she was 35.

She was elsewhere in her life. Mm-hmm. But because of her, I meet this group of people and all our friends are in the entertainment bus business. And they are in those at custom, you know, department. Some are h maker And some are starting their design line of clothing.

a couple of them were designers or worked for designers. those people have like way more knowledge of clothing than I have of the small clothing [00:08:00] business because in Montreal, there's a little hub of very local designer, mostly woman owned, small boutique.

 Those clothing brand are by definition like, 

Gabrielle: Like small community brands. 

Valerie: They don't have the stamp, but that's what they are, right? 

Gabrielle: They're probably all made in the same town and Yeah. The small runs, they're not producing a thousand of things and sending it all over. 

Valerie: It's very, that's right. Two collection a year, 15 to 20 pieces per collection, you know? Yeah. So with her and her group of friend who are pretty much all in their thirties. She told me like, you know what, for this year resolution, what I want is that my style project what I want people to see.

And she was like, I will declutter my wardrobe and my wardrobe will be exclusively of like thrifted, and local designer. And I was like, what? You can do that? 

Gabrielle: That's an option? 

Valerie: Yeah, that's it. you can ask more than fit from your [00:09:00] clothes. Like mm-hmm. I was like, kind of surprised but it still didn't click because she had a very particular style, like very, metal goth, adjacent witchy all black, and with her friends who look like designers and working in the clothing industry and the garment, you know, costume department and so on, like, it is part of your job, right? Mm-hmm. 

So that personal style can be also applied to me. Mm-hmm. I thought about it, but again, no real direction because for me, thought, that's their job. Like, you know. 

Gabrielle: But this, they're in industry. Yeah. So they get to use fashion this way. I'm just like a regular person. Yeah. So maybe I can't have a conceptual design behind my personal style. 

Valerie: That's it. So that's one group that really help me understand that business and the whole concept. When I drop out of PhD, 

Gabrielle: hey, it's a long [00:10:00] program. You got a lot out of it, I'm sure. 

Valerie: I didn't know what to do. It wasn't history. I start teaching, didn't really work out. So start working at a call center and I worked there for 12 years. It was fun. Even though like call center is difficult. It's a very difficult. 

Gabrielle: Yeah. 

Valerie: Hat off to anyone at a call center.

Gabrielle: I can imagine. 

Valerie: But it was fun and there was a lot of South American people American, a lot of North African immigrant are second generation, like Italians, Greek, and so on. And, it wasn't customer facing, so we didn't really have any dress code. So people were pretty much dressing whatever, but those people, of my age, they were dressing up.

Like they didn't care. We are french Canadian, but Canadian general. We're polite. We are really reserved, right? but those people were like, oh my God, Valerie, this is so cute. Like, what are you wearing? They weren't shy. They were very expressive. They were really taken care of. You know, [00:11:00] our parents 

Gabrielle: They're expressive. 

Valerie: Like their Yeah. sometimes it was like, are you going out? And they were like, no, you know, it's sunny. It's like, why not dress up? you, yeah.

Gabrielle: It's like a community that kind of opened up your eyes that anyone can have access to this. This doesn't have to be just for going out or special occasions or, that one event you have coming up. You can have personal style anytime.

Valerie: Yeah. There's no shame in overdressing. I hear people sometimes like, oh, I shouldn't wear that. It's not special enough. Like no. Wear it. Right. 

Gabrielle: Wear the clothes. Yes. Yeah. Enjoy them. They don't get enjoyment by living in your closet. They get enjoyment by being out in the world and being appreciated. That's what designers want. Yeah. They don't want you to be precious with your things and archive them in perfectly room temperature controlled closets. 

Valerie: That's it. 

Gabrielle: How did that affect your style at that time? How were you approaching style at that time? cause you're getting some influences that are helping you see style as something more than just clothes on a body that need to [00:12:00] function for the day. How was your style right then? 

Valerie: Like I don't own any sneaker, it's not in my wardrobe. I don't own any sweatshirt or jugging pants.

Like I don't own legging, I really enjoy La Roche interpretation of like style They say it's a structure, right? He's an architect. 

Gabrielle: Yeah. 

Valerie: So what is the base? the, foundation of your style? Mm-hmm. If I look back even during those times, my base is structured garment. I don't like sweatshirt. I think I look like a marshmallow, like big cloud. So, structured clothing, pleated trousers, you know?

I am mostly a straight jeans person and shoes are usually like laced up. It can be flat. I'm not a high heel person, but you know, square toe. 

Gabrielle: You like a lot of angles it sounds like, and you like those straight structured pieces and now I see why you probably had fit problems because those are the hardest to find to fit you perfectly.

[00:13:00] You know, if you're a stretch jersey person, you can find a lot of options that fit you. They're made to conform to anybody. But if you want a really nice tailored pant or a really nice tailored blouse or shirt, it's hard to find those off the rack. So I'm sure there was a journey to kind of experience, okay, clothes as function, I'm appreciating fit, but now I'm seeing what clothes can really do. And is this kind of the moment where you're starting to merge fit and expression? 

Valerie: Well, I always, like expression in the sense that mm-hmm. I was in the school band. I play classical flute and then trumpet, and I always love makeup. I always love perfume. and then I got pregnant.

And, as strange as sound like, yes, you cannot dress yourself like you used to. Not that you cannot, but like you wear in perfume, you're taking your baby and it's like smelling perfume. So you're just like, I don't wanna do that.

And again. 

And [00:14:00] makeup is the same. Like you putting it. 

Gabrielle: You're getting on the baby. Yeah. 

Valerie: It's kind of disgusting. 

Gabrielle: You simplify a little bit 'cause you're like, I just have to take care of this little baby. 

Valerie: Yeah. Yes. But, in Canada we have the chance to have like a year maternity leave paid by the government.

Gabrielle: That's amazing. 

Valerie: Right. But as soon as I could fit in, regular clothes, I did because again, like I was, I couldn't wear my makeup, I couldn't wear my perfume. So for me, suddenly getting dressed was I important. It was like starting my day. And I hear people, like, for one year I stayed in my PJs and leggings and it's like, no, no.

Two months afterwards, I had my jeans on and my husband like was walking, coming back from work, and he was like, you went out. And I was like, no. Like, you're going out. No, no. personal time. you know, it's like getting back, reclaiming my body So that also mm-hmm. Was a factor in the sense that now dressing up was more [00:15:00] important. 

But again, like mm-hmm. I couldn't find what I wanted. Right. So my style really, like, come full and became, what I wanted was with, strangely enough, 2020 with pandemic.

Gabrielle: I, I think 2020 was a precipice for a lot of people's style journeys. It was like the style systems were coming in. We had time to kind of just like mull things over. Everyone was wearing sweats and we were all getting a little sick of it. We were looking for answers. I think everyone was looking for answers. 

Valerie: But not only that, it was access because nobody could go shopping. Right? 

Gabrielle: Oh yeah. 

Valerie: So yeah. So, and in Canada, it's a big country, but with 38 million people, so it costs a lot. It's not a great, there's no reason why you wanna tap in that market in the sense that it's small, it costs a lot. But again, with 2020, well, might as well ship everywhere, right? That's where I [00:16:00] discovered those new but vintage inspired clothing, and very like German, polished and like Lena Hoschek and so on. And that was like, oh, now I can buy what I want.

Gabrielle: What what I want. 

Valerie: Yeah. also I start painting. so there's that music factor, but there's also that painting. I paint with acrylic. Mm-hmm. And it's all about the layer, So I have the base, right?

So if we go back to the style architecture, it's like you have the base, but now you can actually like, dress up your house, right? Mm-hmm. Now you can add to it. When people are talking about style and, you know, obviously I am a maximalist, like I'm not a minimalist.

And people are like, oh, yeah, but you know, during summer or during winter, layering can be more difficult. For me, layering, it's not necessarily like putting a blazer on and you know, a button down or a waistcoat and so on. Mm-hmm. It can be like [00:17:00] print, colors, textures and everything.

I like to, of course think about my style persona, my eccentric old lady in her English countryside manor, and could only keep her stable boy, because, you know. 

Gabrielle: She's running outta money. 

Valerie: Are gone money. Yeah.

Gabrielle: Yeah. I love this. I love this. 

Valerie: The glorious days are gone and she doesn't really like, horses, but you know, she, yeah. Yeah. 

Gabrielle: But it, she keeps the stable boy around. You know? 

Valerie: Yeah. That's it. Like, 

Gabrielle: okay, wait, I wanna back up because for people who are not familiar with La Roche's style architect, from what I understand and from my research, he kind of is all about like the world building.

It's a very Yeah. Encompassing look. There's no formulas. It's all tailored to the person. It's very much about like, what event are you going to? Yep. What's your psychology? Build up from structure, and then we're gonna add all these nuanced details that make it fit for you. Yeah. Did you create this, eccentric lady in the [00:18:00] English manner based on that? Or where did that kind of come from? Or you were just always connected to that? 

Valerie: I was always connected to that and, um, 

Gabrielle: okay. 

Valerie: weird thing is because I had my old lady eccentrically. I think it's a little of a great expectation, you know? 

Gabrielle: Okay. 

Valerie: I always love a blazer. Another anecdote I remember at my old job, at the call center. It was like women's month and this communication specialist, coordinator, whatever, she was like, okay, we need to put something on our website which woman really affect us or, that we really look up to.

and I laugh at her and I was like, I won't put my mother, because most of people were putting their mother and I love my mother, but like, put whatever her, Valerie, yeah. Just put something. 

Gabrielle: She want everyone to participate. 

Valerie: Yeah. Everyone to participate in everything.

and no one wanted. So, and it was like, the woman that I look up to is the queen. And she was like, oh, really? Like Queen Elizabeth too. And I was like, yeah. And she was like, [00:19:00] what? well, she's living in castles. Yeah. That, that, yeah. she have servant.

I read that somewhere, like, she drank one glass of red wine per day. Like Yeah, I, 

Gabrielle: I mean, sounds like she has a pretty good life. 

Valerie: Yeah, that's right. She had jewelry, she have a horse and I always remember like those pictures of the queen in her Balmoral, Scottish. I love imagery like that, you know, and the queen always had a personal touch, right? if she's going to a country, like she's having this little brooch and that represent that country, and she will always wear a color. for me, that's interesting in the sense that there's purpose, there's a story, so again, like all those things build that story. The queen can be very formal. 

Gabrielle: When she needs to be. Yeah. 

Valerie: When she needs to be, right? You can see her with her rubbers boots at not cottage, but country houses and have like very lived in clothes [00:20:00] and everything. I remember when you talk about volume, Like you can have different volume with your style. it's not because you have a very distinctive style that you cannot bring it to different occasion. 

Like, it's not like, yeah, it totally disappear if you're going hiking or you're going to the city or, you know, special event and so on, but it's just that. 

Gabrielle: That through line of like, you have it, that's right. When you're hiking or you have it when you're at a gala, whatever you need to do, there's something about you that connects back to that home base, back to that eccentric lady or back to your architecture of, this is my world.

Mm-hmm. And this is how I wanna express it. And it doesn't matter if I'm, you know, picking up my kids from daycare or if I'm going to a work event, I'm still finding those pieces of me to express myself. 

Valerie: Yeah. Okay.

Gabrielle: So I wanna ask you a question. here we have fit, we have a great style system. We have this kind of overarching concept that you're working with. You said you like blazers, and I know there's a [00:21:00] lot of advice about like, here's what we wear with a blazer. This is the outfit formula you need to do. Here's the top 10 ways to wear a blazer. This is the blazer that's in for this season. 

Did you ever have a phase where you tried that? How was your experience with that type of content? Because I know if you search blazers, you're gonna get a lot of it. 

Valerie: I don't own any white t-shirt also. 

Gabrielle: Okay, good. I don't own like, so not your vibe. Good. 

Valerie: Not my vibe. But I did consume and I did research because 

Gabrielle: everyone does, right? 

Valerie: you also need to know, before this, the construction, right? Like you still need to be aware of and try it and to see that it doesn't apply to you. So for me, I never had like that oversized blazer. This is not happening. I'm five three. Like, I just feel lost and everything. 

Gabrielle: You knew it was not your fit match? 

Valerie: No. And I discovered before 2020, Smythe Blazer, which is very fitted, [00:22:00] very close to the body. They usually run smaller than usual. And I remember, I think my first Smythe blazer was like purchased in 2017 and I was just like, this is it. This is,

Gabrielle: this is my moment. I found it. Holy grail.

Valerie: Yeah. So I have a couple of a J.Crew blazer because they're also good for petite people. Like mm-hmm. I have a short torso and everything. But it's my blazer, like if I can spend all my money on them, if money wasn't an object, I would. 

Gabrielle: Yeah, I get it. Good tailoring is like, once you experience it and you look inside and you see the lining and all the little details, and then if you ever take it apart, you're like, oh my gosh, I understand why this costs so much, because there are so many steps to make a blazer. So many. 

Valerie: Yeah and you could look like crap and put a blazer on and everything sings. It is like that big final, the orchestra, right? Like, 

Gabrielle: oh yes. It's the [00:23:00] moment. 

Valerie: It's the moment. Sometimes that's it, right? Mm-hmm. When I'm going out and about I have my eccentric lady. And yes, I'm more like thirties, forties inspired. Like I'm not vintage, like seventies or sixties. Nothing wrong, but Okay. That's not where I fall. 

Gabrielle: So what attracted you to the thirties and forties? 

Valerie: The structure. 

Gabrielle: What words would you use? The structure. Yeah. 

Valerie: The structure. I really love knickerbockers. I love the Oxford. I love the small paperboy hat. I like those messengers bag, like everything's square. Everything is like close to the body because of course, you know, depression and then 

Gabrielle: Yeah. Actually women's structure had a lot more structure visually, and they say that it's subconsciously tied to the women needed to be able to carry more weight.

They go from these very delicate like flouncy dresses and like straight, 1920s vibes to having more structure in their clothes and visually to like be able to carry the weight that was going on. More was [00:24:00] expected of them. They had to show up. 

Valerie: Yeah. And they needed to go to work. and not like a secretary or teachers. 

Gabrielle: No. 

Valerie: They needed to go to like the factory making bombs and so on. It's also that the female now wear a lot of male clothing, right? Mm-hmm. Like we do male clothing for the female.

And like I do wear dress, skirts. I like, You know, fifties shape. 

Gabrielle: But I wouldn't say you go delicate. Maybe you don't like the delicate, no. Yeah. That, that was not a word that was on your radar. Delicate or flouncy. You like structure and shape and something that holds itself up, right? 

Valerie: But it's also like bringing both the female and the male, Like, have a very tailored blazer with a waistcoat and that flowy skirt. For me it's like having that dandy style, Those are more Victorian, but I find also like some Victorian inspiring thing trickle to the thirties and forties.

Gabrielle: Like, and the dandy [00:25:00] was also the male version, so they were having The same thing. It was male and female kind of influencing that. Yeah. If you went Victorian female, that would be a completely different thing. So it's like, This dandyism has that same kind of structure with some interest quirkiness to it, if you will. 

Valerie: Um, yeah. They weren't shy of showing all the colors and, you know mm-hmm. It was like a peacock moment for boys. 

Gabrielle: Yeah. 

Valerie: So I'm also, of course, with my history background, like those mm-hmm are elements that speak to me, right. Like I can, without being too on the nose, I like to take element and sometimes, most of the people won't pick on it like they won't. Mm-hmm. But I know. 

Gabrielle: You know, that's the same thing with the designer. When a designer designs a collection, you include all these little details from your inspiration and no one knows they exist, but you're like, I know that thread was chosen for this reason, or, I know it's cut like this to reference this. So it doesn't have to be, the other person understands that it's dandyism and thirties in [00:26:00] silhouettes.

So let's go back. It's 2020. Now a lot of style systems are also popping up at that time. Did you ever try the style systems? What did you think of them? 

Valerie: When I purchased La Ro che book mm-hmm. I watched your interview with Kibbe. And of course, I stumble upon Kibbe system, interpretation on YouTube. Yeah. and I was like, okay, I might as well also buy Kibbe's new book, right? 

And there's also the whole core thing, right? I'm not on TikTok. 

Gabrielle: Oh, yeah, yeah. 

Valerie: Yeah. 

Gabrielle: Ballerina Core, Dark Academia Core. Boy. 

Valerie: It all starts with Cutter. 

Gabrielle: I know there's a lot of cores out there, and it's hard to keep up with the newest one Sometimes I'm like, I missed that core. I didn't even see it. that's how niche they get. 

Valerie: But I'm not on TikTok, so I'm watching YouTubers like talking about what's popping up in TikTok. So you have that resume, right? I also think it's interesting, Even though I'm not into it at all.

Because again, it's creating a persona. [00:27:00] It might be fake it might be all one note and But it's still interesting because it's like, oh, I can be that person without any, link to it. Like when I never took any ballet class, 

Gabrielle: It's, yeah.

Valerie: fantasy. 

Gabrielle: It's, I was just about to say building right. It reaches for the fantasy. It tells you you have permission to do this. People aren't gonna judge you if you wanna dress like a ballet dancer for today, ballet core is in. So it's that little permission of like, reach for the fantasy.

Valerie: Yeah. That's it. And living in a big city in Montreal is very casual, mm-hmm. We're not business If we can compare Montreal to a big city in the United States will probably be Boston. 

Gabrielle: Okay. 

Valerie: Like you have New York where it's very like the hustling and the dark colors.

 I went to both cities for a long weekend. It's like, it's more student, it's more parks, it's more like mm-hmm. leisure, you don't feel the hustle and bustle as much as New York. you don't need to be like [00:28:00] business, at your work There's a lot of liberty. I work in the entertainment business, so it's pretty much everything goes. So suddenly those core Those ballet core and cottage core. It gives you permission to be, oh, I can be, as academic or light academic and dark academia, even though I'm not at university anymore, like mm-hmm.

Oh, wow. What a concept, you know? Mm-hmm. But, and it still has, here we go. Let's pretend I'm still at university at Ivy League College. So that inspired me. Like those cottage core, suddenly on Pinterest you have the links, right?

 So again, access saying, oh, there's people, there's stores, there's business, selling those garment you mm-hmm. No longer need to go flea market, thifting. Let's face it, sometimes those garments are small, extra small, not the greatest quality or whatever, so.

having still access to some [00:29:00] new thing in your size helps, right? 

Gabrielle: did you feel a little bit like a kid in a candy store then? Because it's like, you go from 

Valerie: Oh yes. 

Gabrielle: You know, like there's so much stuff being presented to you. You can be maximalist, you can be dark academia, you can be ballet core, and not only that, you can also buy all these things. Did you have kind of a shopping overflow at one point or exploration phase? 

Valerie: yes. and no because, 

Gabrielle: okay. 

Valerie: Again, because of my friends who are in local businesses, designer and so on. And I still don't shop from Amazon. I don't shop from Shein. I really am careful of where I'm shopping. 

Gabrielle: That's also appreciation of fit, you know? 

Valerie: Yeah. 

Gabrielle: Because you cannot get a well-tailored blazer from any of those places, and I'm sure you recognize that

Valerie: Yes. 

Gabrielle: You have your American Eagle blazer, and that's your benchmark. You're not gonna find anything. 

Valerie: No. And it's been years since I've set foot in an American Eagle [00:30:00] store. 

Gabrielle: That's okay. That's where it started. Now we're at the next level blazer. 

Valerie: And the worst is that you can find gems pretty much everywhere. 

Gabrielle: Yeah. 

Valerie: There's gems hiding. But yeah, it's more easier to just go to a store that will fit you and have what you want without mm-hmm trial and error and, you know. But to go back to your question, is that yes, but those do cost costs a lot of money. Mm-hmm. 

Gabrielle: Yeah. 

Valerie: If we talk about Smite Blazer, they can easily go to $800. So yeah. I mean, I have a limited budget. 

Gabrielle: Don't we all, I mean, you would like to just buy all of their blazers, but, you know, then you have to get creative too. It's like, how can I get this at a discount? How can I, make sure that this one is going to do a lot of work in my wardrobe. 

Valerie: That's it. You know, when people say let's declutter everything and let's create a capsule wardrobe. for me, I, just have palpitations. It's like, no, don't do that because, 

Gabrielle: explain why. 

Valerie: Well, when I, tried to teach one year, it was a [00:31:00] Jewish Orthodox school. Okay. So I had to, follow some dress code. Very strict dress code. So it was only skirt, no pants. It was like, tops that goes longer than your elbow, You didn't need to go to the wrist. But it has to fall like in the middle. Again, I went to Le Chateau to go purchase some skirt.

And I had my Jackie Kennedy skirt, and it was like those little trumpet pink, skirt. And I had like a gray skirt, a black skirt and plaid skirt and mm-hmm. I only have four or five skirts, and the rest was pretty much already in my wardrobe. And I loved it.

Like I might not love the job, but I love getting dressed for that job. and people were like, oh my God, don't you think it's a drag to dress totally different to go to work. And I was like, no, it's fun. so I had this capsule wardrobe for working only, Because those were the requirement for only that [00:32:00] job and even today, those five, skirt, I still own three of them. The Jacqueline Kennedy unfortunately was kind of tight and became tighter.

So I had to declutter. I was like, yeah, I don't think I am gonna go back to that size. So it was add-on, for a specific purpose, but mm-hmm. But suddenly those really create new outfit, like new vision. Oh, I can wear it elsewhere. So it's always my philosophy, like, let's add one piece.

It's a new piece and you think you're stretching your style, like start with one. And it might fail. It might not be, the piece to add to your wardrobe. But if it's a good fit, oh my God, it just opened, so much. It really like, helped create, a lot of different style and again.

Gabrielle: It teaches you something. It shows you what's possible. It kind of shows you what about this structure. Maybe you realize, hey, I really like structure in my shoulders, but I need a little bit more loose around my waist. It's all about [00:33:00] collecting those nuanced details. It's not just structure. It's structure plus. 

Valerie: Yeah and elevated a simple outfit that Before it was, a five or a six. And now, just by adding one other item, it's now a nine, right? And afterwards, , if that specific brand is good for you in the sense that mm-hmm does it fit you well, proportionally? Mm-hmm. And everything, like if you're short torso. 

And two, if I add another color or another different style, will it do the same thing? And if it don't mm-hmm. Well, then, it's okay. You can stop there or, try something else because sometimes you need to evaluate it, it brought my style this far. If I add another one, does it plateau? 

Gabrielle: Does it level off my style? Yeah. 

Valerie: Yeah. That's it. Like if it's costly, or you're limited in your space, sometimes adding like 2, 3, 4, it's not worth it because they will like mm-hmm do the same thing for your style. 

Gabrielle: Find that one A+ piece, you [00:34:00] know? Yeah. Instead of buying the four or five. I think that's a misconception with capsule wardrobes too. Because as they're presented online, capsule wardrobes are kind of presented as you overhaul your closet each season, but that's not really the goal of it.

The goal is to find those like 10 items that really make your styles sing all year round and then add in that one piece that you need for winter. Add in that, you know, rain appropriate gear for spring but it really should be a very intentional small look at what you need and what people mistake it for is, I need a blazer, I need a white t-shirt, I need a pair of loafers.

Like, that's fine. If that works for you, then that may be a place people start. But most people shouldn't do a prescriptive capsule wardrobe. They should look at their eccentric lady in an English manor with the only a stable boy and say, what would she wear every day? And how can I find 10 pieces or 12 pieces that sing to that [00:35:00] concept?

Valerie: Not only that, , I do understand people who think it's the easy way out, right? Mm-hmm. Like take the checklist, take the shopping list, and here we go. And yeah. And when I read a law book versus Kibbe's I was like, oh my God. Now, I know who's gonna sell more books. Mm-hmm. And even though it really resonate with me with law was teaching.

Yeah. Writing in his book. Like, it wasn't as like, here your silhouette pick one. Yeah. Like Kibbe's way more visual: here's how romantic will dress herself and here's a gamine will do it. As for the law, it's like, just, look at. 

Gabrielle: Build your world. 

Valerie: Closet. Yeah. Take your star, you know, pieces, staple and piece and just dress. Have fun. and that's so 

Gabrielle: creative and expressive 

Valerie: and Yeah. But for people it's not concrete enough. Like for people just starting like, yeah, but [00:36:00] how do I know? Right? 

Gabrielle: I think you had an advantage because you knew from the get go that structure was super important to you and fit, and you needed those straight lines. You already had that base, so you weren't saying, oh, well maybe I'll try an organza gown and maybe I'll try a wool skirt. And you were like, no, this is what I need. So I can see why that base you were able to build so much around it. 

Valerie: Yeah, and not only that, like those, clothing, trade, sessions. 

Gabrielle: Yeah. Swaps. 

Valerie: Swaps, and I've been doing those like four times a year for the last 15 years, 20 years. 

Gabrielle: Wow. So yeah. That's amazing. You get to play. 

Valerie: But not only that, because, the way we work, there's not a lot of rules, right? You bring what you need to bring, take what you want. We're friends, we're drinking, we're eating, we're sharing, you know, we take four hours of our Sunday, and if there's only one person who is interested in the piece, you get it right away. Mm-hmm. 

But if we're several of us mm-hmm who is interested in a certain piece, we just put it [00:37:00] in the middle and at the end we're all trying the shirt or the dress or whatever. Yeah. And we're all different shape, different size. And suddenly you will have that piece of clothing from H&M. I remember that top was like the traveling pants, jeans, you know?

Gabrielle: Yeah. Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. It was going everywhere. Everyone was trying it. 

Valerie: Yeah. people were just trying that shirt and everybody was like, oh my,

Gabrielle: it looks good on you too. 

Valerie: Like it's good and fit differently. Those are some piece, where it's just well made, well constructed, and you can see it live on different people.

Gabrielle: They're like mini fashion educations in a way, because you're seeing all how that fits on everyone. You're taking note, oh, that works on you. That doesn't work on me. Mm-hmm. So you're really getting to know yourself and the pieces. 

Valerie: Yeah and again, there's dress, like, it fits you well, but then you see it on another person and you're like, oh yeah, okay. Like you can keep it like this is made for you. So those are [00:38:00] live, free retroaction on your style, on how things fit on you. You don't need a personal coach at this point. We're all like doing the work together for hours. 

Gabrielle: A style community. Yeah. 

Valerie: I think people don't have that in real life. it's not live. It's like, oh look, I'm taking a picture on, you know, and sharing on the website. Like, girl, so you think it's fitting well. And then you have all like 20%. 

Gabrielle: And they don't know you too. It's hard when it's online. they don't know your personality, they don't know how you move, how you joke, how your body interacts with the world.

There's all these little nuance details that when you know someone and you're seeing your best friend or your good friend wear this piece, you're like, I see you in that. I see you. Yeah. Not just the piece, there's this connection. 

Valerie: So it's all personal experience that I brought to my personal style. And I have a lot of chance, and mm-hmm. I'm outgoing and everything. Like of course I can see shy people having a more problem with [00:39:00] that. But I think, the personal style is yes, your construction of you, of your identity, but it's also the respond of others to your personal style. They don't need to like it. I don't look for validation in elsewhere, but at the same time, when you're deciding on a style and you're like, oh, for me, this is, I don't know. A confident woman in her thirties and you walk out and people are like, oh, They don't see it. 

So that's where the discrepancy is, right? And that's where people are like, maybe I didn't get it, or, you know, maybe I have to work more. But then again, it's hard because you don't know that person background either, Like, you might not have the same reference. So I think that's where it's harder for people maybe, or because there's too much, or not enough retroaction on their style that they're like scared or they're not confident enough of their voice or, Mm-hmm [00:40:00] the way to project what they wanna project.

Gabrielle: You're testing the waters for a while. Yeah. You know, and that's hard for people to do. It's hard to put yourself out there. It's hard to try on kind of different ideas.

Like, you landed on English, woman in the countryside with her stable boy. Let's talk a little bit more about that. 'cause that's where you're at today, right? Was there anything about that, that you tried beforehand that didn't work? How did you land on that? And is there anything currently unresolved about your style?

Valerie: I, I always love academia. 

Gabrielle: Like the structure, the tailoring. Seeds were all there for you, you know. 

Valerie: I remember, it was my last year, doing my master degree and I met Dr. Banting. And who is Dr. Banting? The family name might say something to people. His dad create insulin, right? 

Gabrielle: Okay. Wow. Yeah. 

Valerie: So he's Canadian. You can watch the movie. There's a movie about how he create insulin for 

Gabrielle: It's incredible. Yeah. And gave it away.

Valerie: Yeah and he was a history teacher. So his son [00:41:00] was 6' 3", 6' 4", with his cane. He was a big man and with his sweater vest and his shirt and the blazer and, he looked the part, like Oxford teacher. And everybody was like looking at him in awe because he was important to our history department at my university.

And he was retiring, it was in his honor that event. And I was like, oh my God. He looked the role, like he has all the details, you know, and the cane. I remember the cane. It was just like, this is it. This is a chef kiss. You know, you don't need more.

And so it was academia, but again, in the sense that I don't wanna look like a school girl, like I'm not a sexy person. So there's always reference of the school girl that I was just like, not it. That brought me more to my old lady because I'm an old lady at heart and I'm not going elsewhere. [00:42:00] But as a woman, we hit puberty and we hit menopause. So I can see my style changing. I'm 45, I don't wanna be stuck and I'm fully aware that my body will change and I will need to accept it. I think it's hard sometimes for people. 

Gabrielle: Yeah. 

Valerie: And that will probably influence like the next phase. But again, I love Iris Apfel. 

Gabrielle: Oh yeah. 

Valerie: Yeah, it's not because you're a certain age that you need to be less than you are, right? Like to 

Gabrielle: No. 

Valerie: Dress differently like an old lady or whatever. No. So, that's where I see going my personal style, that's where I see it will. 

Gabrielle: It's a next evolution phase. 

Valerie: That's it and that's normal. Some people might disagree, but I don't think you should have a personal style at 20. Like you should have the base.

Gabrielle: No. 

Valerie: You should have the core. 

Gabrielle: There's always exploratory phases, right? And 20 is a big one. Like 20 is throw things at the wall and see what sticks, throw things at what [00:43:00] feels right. Who are you, you're becoming who you're gonna be, you know? And like. 

Valerie: That's it. And there's also the herd, think like your friend. You wanna be part of a group. And that group is no longer the family, it's now friends. 

Gabrielle: Yeah. 

Valerie: And so for me, fashion will always be something that is in movement. Your life by definition is changing, so your clothing need to adapt to your surrounding and everything.

Obviously the core, like the aesthetic, I don't think that's it. I love color. Color will still be there. Like, I don't see myself turning in Black widow soon, right? No, no. So, I am pretty happy where I am. I don't feel that I need to change anything, but I'm always like, something happened, it will happen. I'm flexible, I'm pragmatic, and I will probably discover something else. Who knows, right? Like I pick up violin. 40 I pick up. 

Gabrielle: Painting. Yeah. You're a creative person. 

Valerie: So maybe something else will happen and that will [00:44:00] inspire me so who knows? 

Gabrielle: I love that. Okay, one last question. I think we're all curious about what is the English countryside woman with her stable boy? Give us like 10 adjectives or pieces in your wardrobe. Just paint us the picture of that so we can really see her. 'cause I think she's so fascinating and for people who can't see your lovely outfit, like describe her a little bit. 

Valerie: With Alison Bernstein, like three words, I resume it with like, tailored, quirky and old world slash vintage. Okay. For me, my old lady it's the trousers, it's the blazer. But once in a while, she wanna go out and about because she still wanna preserve a certain image. Mm-hmm. Like we're close from great garden. But I mean. 

Gabrielle: Yeah. There's some structure, there's a little bit of twist. 

Valerie: There's a raccoon. 

Gabrielle: Yes. Yeah. Fair. 

Valerie: There's no raccoon in the den, right? 

Gabrielle: That's good. Yeah. 

Valerie: of course that lady has traveled the world in her youth and she has a Italian flare, I [00:45:00] have to say. 

Gabrielle: Okay. 

Valerie: Yeah. So sometimes she will wipe out, you know, an Italian silk blouse with print. For me it's with flare and with nostalgia also, like she's remembering prime days. Mm-hmm. And, she's not stuck in her manor, in the sense that she's going out and about, she will go to the tea, she will go pet her horse once in a while. Ask the stable boy if he's okay. yeah, it's nostalgia, it's daydream.

Sometimes she's Eccentric. Eccentric, yeah. So sometimes she wanna, you know, spice in her life. And also the picture that I love the most is that, I think it's a Countess. Mm-hmm. She's in her ball gown and she's feeding the chicken. those kind of duality.

Yeah. You never seen. Yeah. it's a real Countess 

Gabrielle: Okay, we'll get this photo so people can reference it. 

Valerie: Yeah. And she's feeding the chicken. And I think it should be fun, right? You don't need to be scared to wear your clothes. It's on the whim [00:46:00] and it's like how I feel today. 

Do I feel like, gonna be, all colored up or Yeah. Or, you know, I'm gonna be in brown and, with my boots. My Countess, my lady, she still wanna look good, still want to present a good image and there's no limit really. Mm-hmm. Like why she's alone. 

Gabrielle: My, she does it because it's, it's hers. 

Valerie: Yeah. That's it. 

Gabrielle: And you know, I love that you described that image, and I'll make sure it's in the show notes, but the Countess with the chicken, because in a weird way that ties all the way back to your youthful, inspiration of, I have these fantasy elements, but I have this function.

Right. And clothes are only for function. And this weird photo of her in a, you know, gown or whatever she's wearing, feeding chickens. It's kind of the merging of the both like her everyday tasks with this lovely style that she is. So I think that's a kind of like a weird little full circle moment.

And it sounds like you have this like layered approach, that there's meaning behind all these pieces. And even if you are the only person who knows that [00:47:00] meaning, it's important and it speaks to you and it helps you find your style architecture. I have loved hearing all about your eccentric lady in her cottage with her stable boy.

and I think everyone will resonate in a different approach to fashion and how you kind of, you know, didn't lean into those frameworks and you found your own way to world build your own style, so. Mm-hmm. Thank you so much for coming on. It's been a joy to speak to you. 

Valerie: Well, thank you very much. And, we'll keep watching you and your, 

Gabrielle: until next time.