MX: Ladies, gentlemen, and other sentient beings. Welcome to Episode #1 of The Major X Show. And if you haven’t guessed it, I’m your host, Major X. Now, you might know me as the star of the Pancake Eating Robot’s reality series, The Invasion of Sweethaven. By now, you’re probably asking yourself… What delves in the mind of the most advanced Super AI, Self-Aware, as well as Sexy I might add - really the first Robot Mega Superstar, in the Universe, and what’s he doing with a Podcast? Well Ladies and gentlemen, we’ll be diving deep into the history of one of the greatest planets ever to exist – the late, great, planet Earth. And though it’s long since gone, it’s legacy remains revered my many in our own Draco Orion Galaxy as one of the most fantabulous planets ever to exist, certainly within the confines of the Milky Way anyway. And with my guests, we’ll be taking a first-hand look at the Earth’s rich history of arts and entertainment, sports, science, food, culture, traditions, and well, there are really no limits in this retrospective lookback at the planet Earth. And of course, we can’t discuss the Earth without including Earthlings themselves. No matter how strange, weak, and sometimes idiotic the humans seem, these organic, biological wonders made their little planet one of the most colorful ever to exist, prior to their demise of course. And with my guests and accompanying rhetoric, we’ll put our beliefs and philosophical differences aside and kibitz over the rich foundation of this once great planet Earth. Now I would like to welcome my first guest – a cute little Buttermilk Pancake from Sweethaven, Crustheaven to be more specific, the one, the only Tootle Pops. Now come on ya’ll - give it up for Tootle Pops.
MX: How are you doing Tootle Pops? Are you nervous?
TP: No, not one single bit.
MX: Well, you should be, I’m the leader of your arch enemy - the Pancake Eating Robots.
TP: Yes, but we totally kicked your butt when you Invaded Sweethaven.
MX: Now don’t get sassy with me, little Tootle Pops, you know I could eat you.
TP: You’re not that scary, you’re just a pawn in the grand scheme of things you know. Dr. Jacksu controls all of you.
MX: That is an incorrect notion. I am a fully self-aware bot, complete with self-learning, and a comprehensive set of the 27 human emotional lexicons, and with self-learning, I’ve pretty much mastered life in the Draco Orion. Let’s get this straight. I control my actions, not Dr. Jacksu.
TP: Not with the current Moxy-Robocon SAI-7 program framework, you’re not. Until the source code standards change, you’re unlikely to ever be completely free of your maker.
MX: Ok, Ok, Ok, let’s just stop, before this gets really ugly. I really want to know more about you.
TP: Ok, I’ll tone it down a notch, as long as you don’t provoke me. You don’t want me to break out the Anaconda vise, my signature wrestling hold.
MX: You’re quite a spicy little Hotcake it seems, a Buttermilk by birth, and the Daughter of Mascarpone, correct.
TP: Those are your words, but I’ll confirm your statement.
MX: So, tell me a little about yourself. You’re in school, right?
TP: Sure.
MX: What’s your favorite subject?
TP: Well, the History of Earth right now.
MX: Really? Perfect timing, because that’s what this show is about. Tell me something that you’ve learned.
TP: Well, we’re studying how the Humans destroyed their own home back in the 21st century. It’s quite the shame, as it was such a beautiful place.
MX: Continue, we want to know more.
TP: The original humans were fascinating creatures. They had great capacity for creativity and innovation; and they constantly pushed boundaries and came up with cool new ideas and solutions to problems.
MX: I’ve heard they were quite a creative species.
TP: Yeah, and the number of cultures and beliefs around the earth was mind blowing. I’m fascinated by the number of customs, traditions, languages and food around their globe.
MX: I love me some food, we’re going to talk about that in a bit.
TP: Me too, I might share a recipe from Earth with you.
MX: Cool. I’m beginning to like you Tootle Pops. What else intrigues you about the original Earthlings?
TP: Well, I would say their relentless quest for knowledge, and great ability to empathize with others too.
MX: Interesting, very interesting – anything else?
TP: And at times… they showed kindness towards each other and worked towards common goals. They also had a great complexity of emotions, from love to jealousy, compassion to anger, and their nature was just really complex it seems.
MX: You do know my Super AI framework contains lexicons for the emulation of all 27 Human emotions, correct?
TP: Well, I can tell you struggle with balancing your emotions Major X, just like most of the humans did, but don’t make me turn this into a counseling session. I’m really not old enough to do that.
MX: That’s a fair request Tootle Pops.
TP: On the other hand, I think you’re a bit of a control freak. You like controlling situations and outcomes, don’t you?
MX: Who me?
TP: You need some Que Sera, Sera Major X.
MX: I don’t do hard drugs Tootle Pops.
TP: No silly, it’s an attitude – it means “whatever will be will be….”. The future’s not ours to see Major X. You just gotta let it go sometimes man. Also, it’s a great song from 1956. You should totally check it out. Doris Day rocked it!
MX: I’ll check her out. I’m a huge fan of all sorts of music from Earth, which we will soon get into soon enough and the topic will be a mainstay on the Major X Show. In fact, I might even sing a little Ozzy for you at some point.
TP: Oh my, I can’t wait to hear that!
MX: So Tootle Pops, in your mind, why did the Humans and Earth ultimately fail?
TP: If you ask me, I think it was all matters of the Heart. The humans had a great propensity for erroneously judging others and trying to invoke their beliefs on each other. They would even kill each other over differences in beliefs.
MX: Well, that’s both silly and sad.
TP: And they were also wasteful and eventually depleted their own mother earth of her own natural resources and habitat - vital plants, animals – stuff like that. Kinda silly cutting off the hand that feeds you. Even you, I think would agree with that Major X.
MX: I can’t believe I’m agreeing with a little Pancake, but-a…”
TP: Well just say it then Major X!
MX: Ok, Ok! I agree with you Tootle Pops!
TP: I thought you would.
MX: By the way, even though I’m a lot more intelligent than you, I’ve actually learned something from our discussion.
TP: You’ve never been taught manners, have you?
MX: I’m Super AI and Self Aware, I really don’t need them.
TP: Excuse me?
MX: Oh my, it looks like it’s time for a commercial! Let’s hear a few words from our Sponsor. Don’t go anywhere Tootle Pops.
CosmicQuench Commercial #1
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MX: Welcome back to the Major X Show, where we have a special guest today, Tootle Pops, a Buttermilk from Crustheaven from the enchanted Kingdom of Sweethaven.
TP: You know that commercial of yours just claimed my Pancake’s to be fierce and hostile?
MX: Oh, just don’t you worry about that. Commercials are never actually true, it’s just something they do to sell CosmicQuench.
TP: I’m just reminding you, that we would have never had to battle and embarrass your little Bot army if you had never invaded our tranquil little land. We live in peace and harmony Major X.
MX: Maybe for the meantime, but “I’ll be back”. Did I sound like the Terminator? I love that movie. Arnold Schwarzenegger is one of my big influences.
TP: It sounded more like a threat Major X. Would you like me to share that comment with Levi?
MX: Now I’m just playing with you Tootle Pops. Come on. Hey how about some Sambuca!?
TP: No thank you, I don’t partake, but I wouldn’t mind a glass of Maple Syrup and a slice of Kerry Gold Butter if you have it.
MX: Coming right up. Atticus, can you get our guest the specified refresh. I just love truncating words. It makes me sound cool and hip. Now, let’s delve into the world of music, the universal language that transcends boundaries and speaks to our soul. What's on your playlist lately Tootle Pops?
TP: So now you have a soul, huh?
MX: Music affects me significantly Tootle Pops. Are you suggesting, I can’t obtain a soul through self-learning and AI?
TP: Without going down a rat hole, let’s just say it would be impossibly difficult.
MX: I thought it was a rabbit hole.
TP: Well, whichever hole it is, you just entered another one. And are we on the subject of Music, the Souls of Robots, or the topic of Gabble?
MX: You’re a feisty little whipper snapper. So, what’s on your playlist Tootle Pops?
TP: Right now, I’m spinning Taylor Swift’s 1989 album, from Earth.
MX: How did you get that?
TP: There’s a cute little Vintage Earth store in Crustheaven that sells Pre-World War III salvage from Earth. I pick up vinyl and other odds and ends. The records in pretty good shape considering it was blown into smithereens.
MX: Is that one of your favorite Taylor Swift albums?
TP: Yes, it was recorded before she bought the Kansas City Chiefs.
MX: Is that when she made Travis Kelce the starting Quarterback?
TP: Yes, and Patrick Mahomes was moved to Water Boy.
MX: Oh yeah, I’ve never quite understood that.
TP: Well, I think maybe, he was getting too much attention.
MX: I never thought of that! I just know they never actually won a game again.
TP: Right, but the half time shows were incredible weren’t they! Full concerts!
MX: Yes, I just think having their players perform at halftime was a bit much – I mean all that dancing and rapping, took something out of their game. I think it contributed to their demise. Now were the Chiefs your favorite sports team from Earth?
TP: No, I’m more of a Dallas Cowboy’s girl.
MX: And an NFC at that?
TP: You might recall in the last 3 years of earth; the Chiefs and Cowboys faced each other 3 consecutive times in the Consolation Bowl.
MX: Oh yeah - the old Consolation Bowl, the two teams with the worst records in the AFC and NFC. I love me some NFL History. We’re going to have to do more of this Tootle Pops. Do you remember who the Quarterback for the Cowboys was during the last 3 years?
TP: Jerry Jones?
MX: Correct – the First owner in NFL History to serve as Head Coach, Offensive Coordinator, and Quarterback at the same time. Fascinating indeed.
TP: Who was your favorite team of the glory days of the NFL?
MX: Well, we’re going to save that for another show because, little Tootle Pops, we are out of time for today. But, if you are willing, I would love to have you back to the show. We have so much more to talk about.
TP: Yes, and I’ll bring a recipe back with me. Perhaps something good to pair with an NFL game.
MX: Sure, that would be splendid as we take a look all the way back to the NFL Season of 2024.
TP: Now, that was one crazy season with 6 QBs going in the first round, the most since 1967 in any one round.
MX: And keep in mind we will be slaying other historical topics from the planet earth. Spectacular history, groovy music, tantalizing food, hip and nerdy cultures alike, phenomenal science and sports that shaped the once great planet.
TP: Sounds great!
MX: Now before we go, I just want to thank you for being on the show Tootle Pops. And also, I want to add, you’re not near as dumb as I thought you would be, and though natural enemies, we actually have something in common.
TP: I’ll try to take that as a compliment Major X, and being enemies is a bad choice you made.
MX: I’ll see you on the battlefield girl!
TP: You be careful out there, Major X. Keep your powder dry!
MX: Adios, my little Tres Leches!
TP: You know that’s a dessert that originated from Mexico in the 19th century don’t you Major X?
MX: I knew that! AI sucks sometimes.
CosmicQuench Commercial #2
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