TALK IT OUT
Welcome to Talk It Out, the thought-provoking podcast that brings engaging discussions, insightful interviews, and interactive segments right to your screen. Our dynamic hosts dive deep into a wide range of topics, exploring the complexities of life, relationships, current events, and much more. With expert guests, lively debates, and a belief in creating an inclusive space, Talk It Out challenges conventional wisdom, encourages critical thinking, and fosters understanding and empathy. Through interactive segments and viewer participation, we ensure that your voice is heard and valued. Join us on this exhilarating journey of discovery, where every episode is a gateway to enlightenment and connection.
TALK IT OUT
S1 E1 Part 2 - Fostering Authenticity and Breaking Cycles in Our Lives
https://shop.theskindeep.com - Link for "The And"
Have you ever considered how the first few years of life etch a blueprint on your soul, influencing every choice you make? Join us, Jason and Alyiah, as we unravel the intertwining threads of genetics and childhood in shaping human behavior. Our personal battles with addiction and the victory over nicotine underscore our conversation, revealing how compassionate communication and the strength of family ties can fortify our resilience and direct our life's trajectory.
We're flipping the pages of "The Four Agreements," a compass on our journey towards self-awareness and authenticity. It's not just a discussion; it's an invitation to join us in reflecting on the pillars of vulnerability and deliberate speech that can transform relationships and bolster self-esteem. As we share anecdotes and insights, we dismantle the false narratives we construct about others, fostering a culture of transparent dialogue and collective understanding.
Finally, we chart the course through the realm of neuroplasticity, marveling at the brain's capacity to evolve and adapt as we do. This concept not only mirrors our mental and physical endurance but also signifies the breaking of generational cycles that impact our descendants. We cap off with a glance at the world of sports, dreaming up roles we'd love to play and encouraging you to envision your own. So tune in, connect, and grow with us as we prepare to explore the cosmic energy that binds us in our next episode's grand adventure.
Welcome to Talk it Out. We're your hosts. I'm Jason.
Speaker 2:And I'm Aaliyah. Let's get into it. Okay, so the first topic that we really wanted to talk about was the importance of understanding human behavior and our inner ecosystems. It is crucial because it allows us to comprehend why individuals which is all of us why we think, feel and act certain ways Like those are the things that describe humans. It's what makes us different in the animal species, and if we can understand human behavior, then we can understand or gain insight into how individuals interact with their environment, how they make decisions, form relationships and navigate through life. And when you can understand that, you can begin to build a foundation based off of science, based off of love, based off of humility, off of grace All of the things that we always say are like the best qualities in people Kindness. That's where you begin those bottom foundation things that we all should have had the opportunity to learn the first seven years of our lives. The first seven years of our lives, we are receiving and absorbing and comprehending the most that we ever can in our lifetimes.
Speaker 1:Well, and it's the first time that we're taking any information in at all. Yeah. It's not like we have anything there before that. Exactly, it's just like setting the tone.
Speaker 2:So, of course it's going to be it's going to be the first chapter of your book that's going to set the tone for everything, the things that you like, not only the things that your first seven years of life that you are on earth, but it is including your genetics, your DNA, the fiber of your like, your meat suit.
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, and I think genetics is a is is a big thing for me. Obviously, I've shared with with you guys already about my parents being addicts, both of them having mental health disorders that weren't treated. Um, I know for a fact they've had those issues. I know for a fact their parents have had those issues. Yes, and honestly, who knows really how far back in generations that has gone Right. But one thing that I do know is that the DNA that I have right now was part of what was handed down was the proneness to addiction.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:The mental health disorders.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:And because my parents weren't in a place or didn't have the knowledge to take care of those things themselves. I mean, truly, I inherited a lot of that Right, and so many of us do. Yes, and that's one of the points of understanding human behavior that is just so crucial is knowing what we're up against.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's like your, your predisposition positions, right, the things that like you go to the doctor and you and you say we have a history of cancer in my family, the doctor is automatically like, okay, well, we're going to have to watch these things.
Speaker 1:Right, right. And, like you, take two people one person who has a history of addiction within their family, one person who doesn't. The person who doesn't. They try a cigarette, they don't like it, they throw it away. They never touch it again. The person who does, who does have those predispositions to proneness or not even never touch it again.
Speaker 2:Honestly, it could be like people who just but I'm saying they may have whatever- right.
Speaker 1:They may have the ability to to stop, to stop it whenever they want. Yes, and and somebody like me, you might touch the stuff once and 20 years later, you're trying to figure out how to quit right, well, and, and not only 20 years later, but seven right I mean, you've recently quit nicotine and you're using it through a vape and um, it's been five weeks now five, six weeks, five weeks, five, um, and those first three weeks were hell.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was rough on, it was rough on me and it was rough on alia having to deal with my irritation and all the withdrawal symptoms right. But I will say, because we have set this foundation of our relationship where we have been able to, in the middle of arguments, stop ourselves and say you're right, You're right, I am doing that, but let's talk about let's talk about both of these problems that we've just brought up, Because you and I both are very much like yeah, but you do this.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean, that's the yeah, we yeah.
Speaker 2:We just need to defend we.
Speaker 1:We feel like we have to defend ourselves because nobody else is on our side and it like hold on pause, we are on each other's team, what like and I think it's just the negative experiences that we've both had in our lives and our perception being, oh my gosh, like people are trying to come at my throat, yeah, and I need to be ready to attack my character or whatever.
Speaker 2:And that is where we're similar is we both have big defense, big walls of defense and, um, like I, I just think it's funny how similar we are but how different we are, and I love it because we challenge each other. But we also have such deep love for family and like commitment because it's what we've craved our whole lives that we finally come to like the no shit we have. We're on the same team, we have the same goal, we want the same things and we're both very passionate people. Yeah, and unfortunately, we've had to learn the hard way what.
Speaker 1:Yes, and fighting isn't bad, but you need to fight fair yeah, and I don't even know that I love the term fighting yeah, maybe arguing as much as debating talking talking. You know I mean it's just it's just communication it's just communicating in a way that is positive right well and not only positive, but also reinforcing each other's yes where we're saying like I hear you like.
Speaker 2:I hear you, I understand and also take the criticism, because I have narcissistic behavior in my family and I am very fortunate that my parent has worked through a lot of those things and I think that they also have. They have more to work through and I think that they also have. They have more to work through and I think that they are, um, and I feel like, because we have been able to connect with that parent in a vulnerable way and be able to stop ourselves myself, really, because I do get, I get mean, I get mean. Yeah, I'm kind of a bitch, like I just I am, and that's something I need to be aware of. And I know that you're a safe person who can check me in an appropriate way.
Speaker 2:My mom always says like you're the only one that like always says like you're the only one that, like, can talk me, like into seeing my behavior sometimes, and I need to get better at that. But also I appreciate that you can be that safe person for me and I deserve that safe person and you deserve to be that safe person for somebody. It's a shared responsibility and a shared weight that is carried between us because we have decided to be partners, right like we do life together. That should mean something, because it does mean something. We are deeper humans, we are deeper feeling animals and not even deeper feeling animals, but we can communicate that. That is what sets us apart from every single animal, not even animal. Every single living creature, yeah.
Speaker 1:The complexity of our brain.
Speaker 2:Yes, it's what went from. It went from ape to Neanderthal to human. Like we are the more evolved species. It is a scientific like understanding Right, and that is crazy to me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think for me, understanding human behavior is important because I think it allows us to increase our self-awareness and also to build these relationships that you're talking about, right, um, and I think with that, if I could just share an experience, um no the uh. The book theements is a book that Aaliyah and I are very well versed in. I guess it's a book that is important to us in our lives, and one of the four agreements is Can I explain a little bit? Of the background of.
Speaker 2:The Four Agreements. So it is the teachings of the ancient toltec um religion, culture, lifestyle. They were a people yeah, I would say lifestyle um belief system, and these are ancient teachings that the A fraction of their teachings at that, yeah. Of their shamans, and it is just beautiful. I think it is what propelled us into our accepting of realizing that we were living in our own worlds and not stepping outside of ourselves, so that we could have deeper relationships with the people around us and, in turn, like enjoy life.
Speaker 1:Yeah Well, and I'm not one to preach self-help books. Yeah, that is. I mean, I'm not much of a reader to begin with, but then you throw like self-help in there.
Speaker 2:You're really like, oh, now I have to read and be vulnerable but not only that, but also you are hard to talk into belief systems yeah, you want, you want scientific like backing, and we've been able to find explanations through other research and other I don't want to say interpretations, but other signs that point back to these things.
Speaker 1:They're like these overall themes that it's like yup Well, and it doesn't always have to be scientifically backed.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that is something a lot of the time that's important to me right but you also want to experience, yeah, it just comes down to if it, if it's something that connects with me, yeah, on any sort of a level, right right and so, anyways, just going to say how deep it, how, how cool we think the four agreements is and we really think you should read it. Um, highly highly recommend. It's an affordable book. You can get it on amazon prime. You can do it on. It's also on um. I believe it's at barnes and noble, like it's in store. Um, go pick it up because it is amazing. And not even go pick it up but reread it once through and then immediately started again with your highlighter and highlight things and then like if you feel like going back and writing some notes in a journal about your thoughts, like you'll read.
Speaker 1:You'll probably reread it a lot's nota it's not a lengthy book, no, but there's just so much in it. It's a quick read.
Speaker 2:But it's just juicy, you just want to eat it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, all up sometimes there's other times where you know it's gonna slap you in the face and you're gonna be like, oh man like you're gonna have to swallow your pride. Yeah, and I need to accept that. That's me, yep, because I mean, if you can't accept your flaws, you're never going to get over them.
Speaker 2:No, and you're never going to love yourself Honestly, you're never going to be confident in true confidence. You're never going to love yourself, you're never going to be happy with your situation, you're never going to change your situation until you can swallow your pride and look at your own behavior and take criticism from people who are coming from a good place who love you, or coming from scientific research that has credible sources.
Speaker 1:Like these things are here to better us yeah, yeah, and what I was getting at with the four agreements is that, um, I think, when it comes to human behavior, we build relationships with each other by not always necessarily focusing on other people's behavior but, more importantly, focusing on our own.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And one of the agreements within the Four Agreements book.
Speaker 2:Can I say something that just popped in my mind Just to make a relation to other belief systems. It's like the saying like don't cast a stone.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:How does it go?
Speaker 1:I don't know, but it's basically like Don't cast a stone until you've does it go?
Speaker 2:I don't know, but it's basically like don't cast a stone until you've looked at your own behavior yeah, you know don't.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you're not supposed to. It's like looking through a dirty window and like, yeah, saying talking crap about somebody, but you don't realize that the window you're looking through is dirty yeah, like you're looking that you're at your own window.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like you are saying mike, can you help me? I am, where's my thing? What's going on? Oh, dork, nothing. Um, sorry, shout out to everybody that just saw me hyper fixate on my necklace on YouTube. Anyways, thought is gone.
Speaker 1:Thought's gone.
Speaker 2:What were you saying?
Speaker 1:So with the four agreements, one of the agreements that I think is important is to not make assumptions. Kind of what Aaliyah was just talking about, more or less, is that we. Kind of what alia was just talking about more or less, is that we kind of create these, these false narratives oftentimes in our heads, um these realities that really aren't so real it's literally the it's realities right, it's realities, but it's not true reality.
Speaker 1:Because we'll go through in our heads and maybe we have a bad experience with so-and-so it's delusion. And then the next time we have a similar experience with someone, we assume that they're acting the way they are because the last person that we hadn't experienced with acted the same way.
Speaker 2:Yep.
Speaker 1:And then we're just poisoning our minds with these negative thoughts that aren't even rooted in truth, right, and then come to find out if you actually sat down and had a conversation with the person, they say, oh my gosh, that was not my intention at all.
Speaker 2:I can't believe that I made you feel that way.
Speaker 1:I was just this is what I meant when I said that. And then we're there. Oh, when you said that, I took it this way, and then I spun this whole narrative of crazy spider webs in my head and I was basically just torturing myself and living in my negative emotion over something that didn't even happen.
Speaker 2:Well, and then that's an opportunity for me to also let's just say we're saying this is about you and me, right? That's an opportunity for me to say, oh, I never even thought about if I said it that way, somebody would take it that way. Right and so like your words matter.
Speaker 1:The way you say things matter right well that's an opportunity for everybody to grow when you can be vulnerable right and I think that's what it comes down to is being vulnerable, because it's not always the way that you say things needs to change. Maybe that's the case sometimes, but other times it's just having a conversation. It's just having a conversation, it's just being vulnerable with each other. You said something that I didn't like. Immediately I should say well, what did you mean by that? Because this is what I think you meant by it, and if that's what you mean, then it makes me feel this way yeah, and that gives you the opportunity to say, oh no, that's not what I meant.
Speaker 2:Well, and not only that is, I would never make. I would never want to make you feel that way. I'm so sorry, like, like I. I don't want.
Speaker 1:I don't want to be somebody who is making people feel bad, because I know what feeling bad feels like Right, and that's why I believe that the importance of human behavior, first and foremost, it lies in analyzing our own behaviors, not what other people are doing. Yeah, of the day, what's going on in other people's lives? It doesn't. It's about that. We shouldn't make a difference in our personal lives.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it only will if we let it right and and that's, that's a really great power. And with great power comes great responsibility, um, because not only does it come down to the power, it's like, literally scientifically proven through quantum physics and the study of the brain right and the study of the nervous system and all of that. So, with that being said, should we do a quick connection question before we move on to the next topic?
Speaker 2:let's do it okay, so we wanted to use our um little decks that we have. This is the and game um.
Speaker 1:It is a connection game the box might show up pretty weird on youtube.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's the same color as the green screen, but it is the healing edition. They have other editions, um, we also have the couples edition, but today we're going to do the healing because why not? Um, which is going to be a vulnerability edition for our connection questions. We have different editions of our connection connect, connection questions to help you guys deepen your relationships, but we wanted to shout out this company because I think that, like, being able to consume good things is like part of the best things about consumerism and we should be consuming things that fill us up right.
Speaker 1:So affect us positively yeah.
Speaker 2:So shout out to this company, definitely go check them out. I will link them somewhere, so probably everywhere. So how you actually play the game is you pick like 12 cards and then they're supposed to just be random. But the catch is everybody that's playing the game has to agree that if somebody doesn't want to answer a question, you guys have to look at each other for 10 seconds and if that doesn't change their mind on answering the question, because they still don't feel comfortable enough to answer it, then you just have to say no, I don't want to answer. And that's that, um, jason and I, the fun thing about this game for us is.
Speaker 2:I bet those 10 seconds feel like 10 minutes yeah, the fun thing about this is I have had this for years and I could not get jason to play with me because he was a little shelled little turd up until we've really hit the ground running with therapy and I've been able to work on my vulnerability.
Speaker 1:Like I said, those 10 seconds feeling like 10 minutes, that would have truly been how it was for me, because that much vulnerability is just not something that even came close to exciting.
Speaker 2:But for me, like I could do it a little bit easier, and so I was like, let's try it together, like we can trust each other. And you were like bitch Like. You were like what, because you were going through some hard changes, kind of like what I'm going through right now personally and you, like, were in the thick of it right?
Speaker 1:well, and it's that's not to say that I'm out no like because, you know, surprise, surprise, it was not my idea to use these cards on the show. Yeah, but I am to a point and to a place where I'm more comfortable. Yeah, and I'm willing to give it a try.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah. So, with that being said, jason and I are not going to be able to pass on the questions, but if you play this game with your loved ones, please treat each other with respect and love and grace and understanding, and love them enough to know that maybe right now is just not the time to talk about that specific thing, but understand that you still love each other. Don't get upset, don't turn it into a fight that never got us anywhere.
Speaker 1:Right, yeah's, that's a good point. Yeah, just because you see a card doesn't mean like, oh, it has to be answered.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like like maybe it's just not there yet each other's boundaries, because boundaries are important we all.
Speaker 1:We all heal and we all learn and grow at different rates. Yep.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and that's beautiful, because then you shouldn't rush through it but you also shouldn't be stuck. So we need kind of a balance of people being like come on, you know, like let's go.
Speaker 1:Well, and maybe you come across a question and you and your partner are looking at it and you're like, wow, that wasn't even something I didn't, that I expected to feel uncomfortable about. Yeah, kind of opened your eyes to it and at least can get the ball rolling on some of these things.
Speaker 2:Well, and guess what, Like we should be with people that we are compatible with If we're living with them every single day. Like I want to know how you're going to respond to X, Y and Z, and if I would respond in X, Y and Z compatible. Oh my gosh, that's hilarious.
Speaker 1:Sorry, we're appreciating Nola's cute sleeping habits.
Speaker 2:She's adorable, she's crazy, but what were we talking about? I don't remember. Anyways, let's get into the question. If you want to ask your partner or loved ones, friends, family these questions, please do it. I think it would just be an awesome way for all of us to get a deeper appreciation. And, yeah, and also we will have a spot on Instagram for you guys to be able to talk about it this next week. So make sure you go follow if you're interested in connecting with people outside of your current circle. Okay, I think I'm just going to go like this and you're just going to pick one.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 1:Okay, just one, three of them, okay. What's one experience you wish we can share together in the next year? Um, I think, with where we are currently in our relationship and in life, that this question is pretty tough because we just have been working through so much recently. And so for me, when I see this question, what's one experience that I wish we could share together in the next year, in a place where we can understand each other and have love for each other, and have love for each other more often than not and when I mean more often than not, I mean way more often than not Because Aaliyah and I we still butt heads.
Speaker 1:you know, we're human beings just like everyone else, and all of us have our struggles. But I do personally feel like you and I we still tend to argue about things and butt heads more often than I would like. Yeah, not that I want us to ever do that.
Speaker 1:But, I do think that we have still a lot of room to grow in that area. Yeah, and so for me, I would like, in the next year, to feel like, when we maybe start heading in a negative direction, within a conversation, that we're able to. Pivot a lot easier. Yeah, to pivot a lot easier and be able to feel and see that love for each other.
Speaker 2:Yeah, right away, instead of when it's boiling over when it's boiling over yeah, right, no, I totally agree with that. Actually, um, which is actually hilarious, because mine is almost the opposite. Okay, um, but not really. It's very much in like the yin yang way, where we just kind of like we flow with each other. Like this mine is that we can be content in everyday life more often, like I don't really want to be on these like high highs all the time, like hitting every single one of our goals, like things take time, but I want to be content in just every day, like our daily routine is so important and impactful to us because we get alone time. We get time that we need to be working and focusing, we get time where we are connecting, we get time out in nature, we get time with our dogs, we get time with our friends, we get time with our neighbors and obviously, friends and neighbors isn't even as often as every single day. We don't see our friends and neighbors every single day.
Speaker 1:Right. I mean that's, we only have a certain amount of energy, right? So we've got to deviate out here and there, and I don't know that it's entirely realistic to hang out with friends every single day.
Speaker 2:No, because, because life just isn't like that.
Speaker 1:For anyone.
Speaker 2:No, like as the human species, we need responsibilities. It helps keep us humble, it helps keep us on our toes, it helps us learn every single day. It helps us grow Helps. Keep us centered on something yeah, and something outside of yourself, and like the only way that you can really experience love fully is by understanding that you have to love yourself in a healthy way. Before You're stressed about the time, huh.
Speaker 1:No, I was stressed about the camera battery.
Speaker 2:Oh. But you have to love yourself in a true, healed way before you can love anybody else. And the only way like if you want somebody to love you, like it's the nf song. You're gonna have to feel the hard things, you're gonna have to do the hard things if you want love. You're gonna have to learn how to change. You're gonna have to learn how to grow.
Speaker 2:That's sorry, like that's just part of life yeah it's everybody's story yeah it's one of the goals that, like every human is like I want to be loved right, and it's not easy for any of us no, like the, the world that we have been brought into because of our ancestors choices, this is what we have like.
Speaker 2:All we can do is be better every generation. So you have to put in the work, you have to be the one to face the hard shit and say, like it ends, this pattern ends. It doesn't mean it's going to be completely stopped, but you're putting a dent in the road that maybe the next generation is going to be able to not have to learn this in their 20s and maybe they'll learn it when they're seven right we've seen it in our nieces and nephews already, like their emotional maturity because our siblings have tried breaking these little things is making a difference?
Speaker 2:It is, we've seen it. Yeah.
Speaker 1:And that doesn't mean that, like You're not going to break all of them.
Speaker 2:No, but the only.
Speaker 1:Thing.
Speaker 2:No, the only thing we can do is try, though. If you're not trying, you're failing, and if it was easy, then everybody would do it. It's not supposed to be easy.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I think the fear of not trying has gotten in my way a lot in life.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:But also when I have tried, there's times that you're going to surprise yourself, yeah, and when you succeed, it's an amazing feeling. Yeah, you're like how did I?
Speaker 2:just stop myself in that thought process. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Well, and if you don't even try, then you're just robbing yourself of the feeling that you will get when you succeed.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I've been stuck on that for a while.
Speaker 2:I know I think let's get into topic number two. So topic two is we wanted to start talking about the, the power and the science behind like literally changing our neural pathways and changing our like down to our dna structure. I want to talk about the power that that holds on like a lot of different levels.
Speaker 1:Right, and just to kind of give you a sort of a definition on neuroplasticity, because I know, when I first heard that word, I was like oh, that's kind of like that's a big word that I've never heard before. Yeah, Like that's a science word.
Speaker 2:It's one thing to be a big word, but yeah, heard before. Yeah, like that's a science word.
Speaker 1:It's one thing to be a big word, but yeah, to be so scientific. I was like, Ooh, that seems a little bit difficult to understand.
Speaker 2:But only that, because you understand the power that that holds, because it is a scientific definition.
Speaker 1:Right, but like I said, before we dive into this, I just want to give y'all a little bit of something to go off of for those of you that aren't familiar with neuroplasticity, so that you can have a little bit of an understanding.
Speaker 2:And those who do know about it. Sometimes it is nice to kind of take it down to the literal sense again.
Speaker 1:Right, and so neuroplasticity. Our brains have the ability to change and reorganize themselves throughout our lives. This process is known as neuroplasticity. It means that our brains create new neural connections, strengthen existing ones and even rewire themselves based on our experiences, thoughts and behaviors.
Speaker 2:Literally changing the way that your brain works.
Speaker 1:Right or establishing the way that it works.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we get to decide what the rules are. We can change. Change is real, change is good. This is coming from somebody I know my mom is listening to me say that right now and she's going to roll her eyes because this is coming from the girl who got upset at her because she covered up a fireplace in our house, took down the brick fireplace and I loved the brick fireplace, mom change and who was so mad that she got rid of these like old vintagey covered in dust, like window banner thingies just what you knew.
Speaker 2:I hate change, I hated change. There you go and see how I literally corrected myself. I put it in the past. If I say I hate change, that means it's real and that's what I'm feeling right now and I have to stop myself and say I hated change. Let me correct myself.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and for me that's where.
Speaker 2:I'm practicing changing my neuropaths.
Speaker 1:Right, and for me, it discussed how, with neuroplasticity, our brains rewire themselves based on our experiences, our thoughts and our behaviors. When I think about this, I think about okay, my brain rewires itself based on my experiences. Does that make sense?
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Behaviors, how I act. That makes sense to me too. Yeah, thoughts, that's where I was a little bit hung up, Not that it doesn't make sense, but for me, where I was a little bit hung up not that it doesn't make sense, but for me it was just it seemed so minuscule but it's like kind of earth shattering well, it really is, because once you sit there and truly ponder on that thought of can my thoughts really have that much of an effect on me?
Speaker 1:Um, for me, I I eventually was able to answer that question for myself, and it does make a big difference for me, yeah, um like through.
Speaker 2:Through your experience, you have seen the change when you didn't think that it could happen, because you started applying these things well and for me.
Speaker 1:I am very susceptible still to stirring in my negative emotions, stirring in my negative thoughts. Um, for example, all and I'm sure a lot of people do this as well but I I have the tendency to run through fake scenarios in my head that I'm just creating in my imagination, conversations with somebody that I may have had a negative experience with. I will continue that conversation in my head when I'm alone and have this banter, this argument back and forth with the person that is no longer there, and I'll just throw words in their mouths. This is what they would say to me and this is what I would say to them, and oftentimes it's rooted in anger and it's rooted in a way of like, when I see this person next, this is the conversation we're going to have. This is how I'm going to get revenge.
Speaker 1:This is how I'm going to win the argument or the conversation next time I see them Right. And then I'm thinking about that for two, three hours throughout the course of a whole day, right by the evening. I'm just pissed off.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I'm angry with you. I'm being a dickhead to people for no reason whatsoever and I'm like wondering like, oh my gosh, why am I so pissed off today, yeah. And then it's like, oh well, no shit, I'm pissed off all day long because I've done nothing but think about all of these negative things that that didn't even happen. Right and just literally. I'm just creating a space for my anger to thrive, and by doing that, it affects my whole entire day, it affects my weeks, it affects my months.
Speaker 2:If I let it Well, and that's the thing is. I usually am a little bit better at coming home in a better mood, and that is the one thing about my job that I actually really love is, I'm not going to, I'm not going to have my clients have a bad day because they walk into my space and I'm upset. So you know what? I'm going to remember that.
Speaker 1:I love Jason. That's all you need.
Speaker 2:And no, literally. Sometimes we have arguments when I just have to remember I love Jason. I am choosing to love Jason right now, not even choosing, but I'm choosing to like you, like you right now because I love you. And so when my clients ask me how it's going, I'm going to say it's been going really like. Or, you know, I say what have you guys been up to lately? And then they tell me, and then they say what have you been up to? I'm like, oh, we've just been working, hanging out outside, like I think about the things that I enjoy and like the little dates that we've been on together, and like I love to talk about those things because those things remind me that I do love you but if we weren't putting in the work, yeah, then you wouldn't want to talk about those things.
Speaker 1:And I think that's an important note to make. We're not saying go out there and lie about how your life is.
Speaker 2:Oh no, because trust me.
Speaker 1:Make your life be surrounded by positive things first, so that you want to share those things. It's not to say, oh man, my life has been real shitty lately, and then someone asks you about it and you're like it's been going great. It's not to say, oh man, my life has been real shitty lately, and then someone asked you about it and you're like it's been going great and you know, a fake smile. That's not real. That's not helping you.
Speaker 2:It's not real and and hopefully, like I mean, I don't expect my clients to confide in me if I don't confide in them. So sometimes I do say like, sometimes I will say, like you know, freaking men, if you are married to a man and I'm talking biology, like I need your hormones, like hormonally a man, you got that testosterone in you I am sorry that you are dealing with that partner sometimes, just like I feel the opposite way if you're dealing with a like hormonal, biological female, because the hormonal aspect is insane, because the hormonal aspect is insane, it really is. We go through a lot, our bodies go through a lot, our minds go through a lot, we're tired, we're tired, but when we literally train our muscle to grow, it doesn't get as tired as quickly and we have more endurance.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I think for me, neuroplasticity and rewiring, or even creating these pathways it plays a vital role in learning and personal growth plays a vital role in learning and personal growth Even when we're children, like we've talked about and like you discussed more heavily earlier. We are creating these neural pathways for the very first time. Yeah. And we're in the Pee.
Speaker 2:Wee League.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and that might come with a lot of pros. It may come with a lot of cons. For me personally, I felt like I created a ton, a ton of negative neural pathways, yeah, and it's been a year and a half of therapy that has helped me to rewire just some of them. I know that it's going to take years and years and years for me to continue to rewire these things. You have to start though, right, and I'm not saying this to make it seem daunting or anything like that, but just to be real.
Speaker 2:Like you're looking forward Well, and you're looking forward to it.
Speaker 1:Well and.
Speaker 2:I need to be real about the situation.
Speaker 1:Changing these neural pathways, it's going to suck sometimes.
Speaker 2:And it's hard.
Speaker 1:It's going to be not enjoyable. Yeah. But it's the times that, for me, everything I've accomplished in life, if it comes easy and I just do it and I'm successful right away, yeah, it makes me feel good.
Speaker 2:But you don't love it.
Speaker 1:But when things suck and when I have to work at it, it just makes it so much more Sweeter, important yeah, it just makes it so much more sweeter, important yeah, it makes it. It makes it that much better and that much more enjoyable when I do get to the goal that I have set for myself.
Speaker 1:You had to freaking like like tooth and claw fight for this right, and I just think, as humans, we tend to appreciate those things more when we truly have to work for them. Yeah, no, it's like, as humans, we tend to appreciate those things more when we truly have to work for them. Yeah.
Speaker 2:You know it's like Because we're complex.
Speaker 1:It's like paying for our own car. There's, I drive my car around half the time like a grandpa, but man growing up in my parents' car, fast and the Furious around corners, you know, 100 miles an hour down the highway. Because I didn't pay for it, I didn't have that appreciation of you know. Yeah, way, because I didn't pay for it, I didn't have that appreciation of you know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, this is something that that I've put a lot of work into Shout out to brother in law who just told me that hopefully his monster truck is done by the time we get down there to see them. So hope that is done. You better, you better have finished.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but for me, yeah, it's not always enjoyable, but it's going to be worth it if you put in the time and the effort to do so, to change those narrow pathways, and if you feel pretty lost or confused on what we're talking about right now. I was pretty lost and confused on what we're talking about until very, very, very recently, and so don't feel discouraged or don't feel like this is something that you're just not able to understand. I would suggest that you go out and you do some research on the subject of neuroplasticity.
Speaker 2:With credible sources, please. It's really important and you put in that work.
Speaker 1:It's important that you put it in. I wouldn't suggest, of course, like a Wikipedia or a lot of the, I guess, the personal domains that you might visit. If it is a personal domain I would suggest you look for something that is supported or yeah, supported, or has a license to it, because without that it's probably just somebody's opinion which can be nice to read people's.
Speaker 2:I mean some of what we say is our opinion most of it yeah, like, yeah, like we don't.
Speaker 1:But we don't want you to take our word for it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, go do research.
Speaker 1:We want you to do research, put the work into it, and we want you to create your own experience.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because this is intimate, and with intimacy comes like you need to start being vulnerable and put in the work.
Speaker 2:It doesn't come easy, it just doesn't yeah okay, let's just do our last connection question real quick. Okay, we have a sports edition because sports is one of the things that we connect on. I didn't mention it as one of my hobbies in our introduction but I actually love sports and Jason has just helped intensified my love for sports because he helps me understand that it's like a whole complex, scientific, entertaining, like juicy, and I love the pop culture more than you do, but you've come to, you've come to appreciate it a little, excuse me, a little bit more yeah because, I brought Aaliyah into.
Speaker 1:She likes to help me root for a lot of my Arizona sports teams, so that is one thing. I apologize to Aaliyah for getting her into.
Speaker 2:Okay, but to be fair, I also brought you into appreciating sports from a different view and not fixating on one team, appreciating it as a whole a little bit more.
Speaker 1:But you still have that very competitive Arizona, but you still have that very competitive Arizona, yeah, but I've come to a more of a place where winning isn't everything, yeah, and I do get caught up in that still frequently, but you can let go of it a lot faster than you used to. Right, yeah, but I am hoping to get to that point of, you know, not letting it affect me in a negative way in the first place.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but it's going to take. Gonna take time, yeah, and that's okay, okay. So are you ready for the question? Yeah, okay. So I want to know, if you were in the sports world not including an athletic position what job would you want to have and what? What would be your dream? Like it probably wouldn't happen, but like big wig position because, like you haven't been, like you haven't put those steps in life to ever happen, right, yeah, or like it's just not realistic, yeah, not at the moment moment.
Speaker 2:I would have to do a lot to get there yeah, but like I want to know what big wig job you would want, based off of the qualities that you have, that you think could be nourished one day, who knows and then like a smaller team position not in athletic, though, so it can't be an athlete position, it has to be like a job in the industry, but it can be coaching staff, it can be support, it can be whatever.
Speaker 1:Um.
Speaker 2:But I want to know what position and why do you think you would be good at it? Okay, and then I'll answer for you, and then we'll do it for me.
Speaker 1:Okay, okay, um, I think I would like to be involved with coaching.
Speaker 1:Um we've discussed before a little, a little bit about this topic. Yeah, and what appeals to me the most is the head coaching job, because I just love the idea of feeling like I'm helping the whole entire team directly, directly, yeah, but I, I guess for me I would like to be a coach that is more of a supporting role, okay, somebody who coaches a specific position, because I think the head coach job there's just it's like being quarterback there's so much that you have to know and so much.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, there's a lot of pressure um, a lot of pressure, right, and so I think, coaching like growing up when I was playing sports, I was always playing wide receiver, that was okay that was my go-to position, um, and so I'd probably like to coach in like the wide receiver core and help those guys to. You know they're already great.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Focus more and hone in on perfecting their craft. Yeah.
Speaker 2:So is your big wig head coach, or is that just like? No, you know, that's not realistic.
Speaker 1:No, I think my big wig would be like coaching the wide receivers Okay, realistic. No, I think my big wig would be like coaching the wide receivers okay, um, and obviously I think I'd be good at that because I do have at least some experience doing it. Um, but also I am so competitive, yeah, that I think I would do very well in motivating players to get better, to get further in touch with who they are and really taking their talents and everything that they've worked for to an even greater level than they have. It seems like a lot of people in professional sports at least men's sports it's like they get there and they're just kind of content with it, yeah, and I think so many of them have a lot more to offer and so much more they haven't tapped into.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And I think it takes a very specific coach or individual to help them understand that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and kind of guide them to that conclusion where they have these experiences that helped them grow because you made it happen or you saw that they needed it and they were ready to grow Like that's an important part of being a coach and I totally think that you'd be really good at being a coach. What's your small Like? What's your? What's your like? What's your? What's your like not small? That's just like what you would want to be yeah, head coach, but no head coach, but realistically a receiver, receiving coach.
Speaker 1:Okay, receiver coach, yeah, yeah that makes sense.
Speaker 2:I totally think you could do the wide receiver coach, but I think there are two roles that I could see you doing. Um, I could see you being a defensive coordinator, yeah, or a defensive coach I love defense.
Speaker 1:Defense gets overlooked all the time.
Speaker 2:And because I think that you would understand. You love getting into the opponent's head and tapping into their insecurities, which is like insane, but I love it and it's like, if you can do that in the correct way, it's so powerful and I think you'd be really good at being a defensive coach. But I don't think that you could ever be a head coach because of your passion and ego and that's why I think it's not realistic okay, okay um, which we've talked about it before.
Speaker 2:That's why I'm laughing. Yeah, it's kind of like a running joke, um, but but then my second thing that I think you'd be good at is a like sports analyser, analysis-er, analysis-er.
Speaker 1:Analysis-er Sports analyser.
Speaker 2:Sports analyser yeah.
Speaker 1:Sports analysist.
Speaker 2:Analysis that's the word I was trying to say or like a broadcastercaster, I don't necessarily. I think I actually think that you'd be a fun announcer too. If you had like the right fit, like the right person with you, I think you'd be fun. Yeah, broadcasting, but those are mud I think you'd be good at okay okay, now do you want me to tell you what?
Speaker 2:do you want me to say what I think I'd be good at? Yeah, okay, so I my my big wig job would be a team owner, but like an involved, like actually cares about the team. Team owner, um, that like gets to pick, like an amazing support staff, like handpick people that I like could see working well together. Um, but I am too much of a control freak so I'm working on that, but I think it's like so interesting and I love it. I love that aspect of it and being like oh, I know that you see the game like this and you see the game like this, so you guys need to be working together as this coach and this coach puzzle together. Yes, please, yes, please.
Speaker 1:Um, and then also I could see myself being on like the sports medicine support staff or like the psychology team yeah, I was gonna say that because I think for your big wig like you could be good as a team owner because you have your business background and that's just kind of the way that your mind tends to lean toward things.
Speaker 2:I just like see it that way.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but you would definitely have to work on your willingness to let other people take charge.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm just a control freak.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but at the end of the day.
Speaker 2:I have to like hone it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, um, but then I was also going to say, with you mentioning the psychology, like I think you'd be good. It's like our therapist works for the university of Utah, the football team, and he kind of acts as like their therapist in a way for the players. Yeah, I could see you doing something like that for a sports team, where you help them to understand themselves more on like a personal and mental health level.
Speaker 2:See. But I would want to do it kind of in a way where I'm like I'm not necessarily like the licensed individual, like I say like hey, I think you need to go see this sort of specialist thing. I think you need to go see like but I also do think that you would.
Speaker 1:You could be great at just helping them, point them in the right direction and helping them get in touch with themselves enough that they would even be willing to work on those aspects.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, I mean, that's what I did with you.
Speaker 1:Cause I'm sure like yeah.
Speaker 2:So I have a resume.
Speaker 1:People yeah, just kidding One person deep.
Speaker 2:Hey, one is better than none, yeah I guess, and what. Like you were the one baby, I didn't pick an easy target yeah, that's true I bit off a big piece that's true so I don't know why I went like this I know I thought you were doing a high five.
Speaker 1:I did too, but then I realized it was going to be loud and so, with this question of what job in sports would you be good at and why? That's something that we also want to hear from you, from our listeners and our viewers what position within the sports world do you think you would be good at, you would want to experience, and why?
Speaker 2:Yeah, and if? If you don't know, then what do you think we would be? Or answer both what do you think for yourself and what do you think for us? If you know us, or just listening to our vibe for this episode, let us know how or what you think we would be good at and what you think yourself would be good at, or your partner. And you don't have to necessarily share it with us, because we also encourage you to take these questions to your close ones, take them to your significant other, take them to your partners, take them to your friends, your family, your co-workers, your clients. Let's get to know each other, let's make connections, let's care about each other. That's what it really comes down to. Is these connections, these lasting, good, society-building practices. It starts with us. We have to start or freaking. Write it in your notes app and don't share it with anybody. If you are not ready to talk about it out loud, it's okay. Start having the conversation in your own brain.
Speaker 1:If that's where you need to start, then that's where you need to start yeah, and I know there's a certain amount of vulnerability that comes with um answering these questions. So, for those of you that are watching on YouTube, if you do want to leave a comment at what you would be good at or our question from earlier, our connection question, feel free to do that and, again, our comment section is going to be a safe space for you.
Speaker 2:Anything that we see on there that is hateful or derogatory toward anyone, it'll be something that gets deleted as soon as we see it and we would appreciate your vulnerability as we continue to make episodes, make episodes and hopefully rather quickly and even from the jump, we're able to see our comment section be something that is just loving and kind toward everyone that's participating yourself and everybody participating like I think this has the possibility to be something important in people's lives and if we can make a difference in literally like one person's life and I know that we already have made difference in people's lives around us because we've seen it so we already have people on the roster and it feels so good to make a difference in people's lives and you deserve it. You deserve to feel that way and we deserve to feel that way, so do it. And if it starts with writing yourself a note in your own phone that nobody sees, do it Start.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but for those that do comment on this video or any future ones, we really want to have that connection with you. I think a lot of people that are listening or watching this show are people who maybe Aaliyah is a lot closer with than I am, or maybe there's some people that I'm a lot closer to than Aaliyah is.
Speaker 1:So, as we are able to, connect and share experiences, or you don't know us at all personally and that will allow us to connect with you a little bit more. Like I said at the beginning of the show, this isn't a show that's meant to be just for Aaliyah and I to share our experiences with you yeah. We also want to hear your experiences and have you connect with us. That would be extremely important to us going forward.
Speaker 2:Well, and it can be in a fun way and it can be in a serious way. It doesn't have to just be in one or the other, because you're going to be vulnerable, no matter what. Showing emotion is vulnerable, no matter what. And joy is an emotion, anger is an emotion, sadness is an emotion. So we're vulnerable, whether we want to or not. It just depends on how you're going to control it, and that takes practice. Like benders don't become benders unless they practice. Yeah, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and please, if you are willing, and able, give us a follow on our Instagram account. Again, it is talk it out. Underscore show on Instagram.
Speaker 2:That's just the easiest place to connect with people, and so let's maximize it. We're in charge of our consumption, so yeah, let's make it count.
Speaker 1:I think that's where we're going to be putting out. A lot of our content is on our Instagram account For those of you that are listening, and then, of course, for those watching on YouTube. You'll have a little bit of an added effect, being able to see us, but still go give us a follow on Instagram.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we'll be able to connect with you to and that way you can see our face sometimes too, because, yeah, even if you are just listening it's.
Speaker 1:It's fun to be able to put a face to a voice right, and there's might be even things on instagram that don't get shown on our youtube videos or vice versa yeah, aren't on our podcasts that are listening.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but I really just wanted to give a little teaser for our next episode, because we talked about the human connection and the inner ecosystem and the power of our human experience, and so next week I want to talk a little bit more about the universal connection, the power with the universal truth, the little bit of stardust in us, which I know that's getting a little too like mystical for you, but you know that's how I am, I'm dramatic. So I'm really excited to talk about that next week and that will be dropping on Saturdays.
Speaker 1:Saturdays are going to be our podcast days, so hopefully you guys can tune in with us on Saturday or just whenever you get to watch listen about 10 am, mountain standard time, um, but with um, what alia was talking about, this week, we did discuss the importance of human connection, and that was kind of a bond that we have human to human. Um, and with what alia has teased a little bit, I think next week we are going to be talking more about how we connect with everything in the universe on an energetic level. Yeah, um, I think would be a good way to put it, and so, yeah, it'll be fun, that's. That's something, that it's a world that I'm getting more accustomed to as well. So, those of you that are tuning in, we'll be able to learn together and be able to probably hear Aaliyah drop some knowledge on all of us.
Speaker 2:You know what can I say? I love it. I love it. Alrighty, that's all for this week. See y'all next week. Peace out. Thanks for listening. Thank you, guys.
