TALK IT OUT
Welcome to Talk It Out, the thought-provoking podcast that brings engaging discussions, insightful interviews, and interactive segments right to your screen. Our dynamic hosts dive deep into a wide range of topics, exploring the complexities of life, relationships, current events, and much more. With expert guests, lively debates, and a belief in creating an inclusive space, Talk It Out challenges conventional wisdom, encourages critical thinking, and fosters understanding and empathy. Through interactive segments and viewer participation, we ensure that your voice is heard and valued. Join us on this exhilarating journey of discovery, where every episode is a gateway to enlightenment and connection.
TALK IT OUT
S1 E7 - Balancing Mental Health with Nature's Wisdom
Imagine finding solace in simple routines like daily walks and intentional self-reflection. We explore how these practices have helped us combat depression and anxiety, making a significant difference in our mental and physical well-being. From middle school struggles to living with blood cancer, we open up about our personal journeys and how movement and nature have not only reduced conflicts in our relationship but also provided a much-needed escape from societal disconnection.
Dive into the misunderstood world of emotions and the unique challenges men face in expressing vulnerability. We tackle slow progress in therapy, the weight of confronting past traumas, and the male struggle against societal expectations. Additionally, we delve into the female menstrual cycle, protective instincts, and the significance of family dynamics in shaping who we are. To lighten the mood, we end with a playful debate on the feminine & masculine appearance of time and share heartwarming bedtime routines with our beloved pet. This episode offers a comprehensive look at emotional and relational well-being, with a mix of serious discussions and light-hearted moments.
Welcome to Talk it Out. We're your hosts. I'm Jason.
Speaker 2:And I'm Aaliyah. Let's get into it. Hey guys, welcome back to the podcast. Thank you for listening and to those who have been listening to other past podcast episodes and messaging us and interacting with us. We really appreciate it. So thank you so much. Messaging us and interacting with us, we really appreciate it. So thank you so much.
Speaker 2:Yesterday we were talking at the river and we were trying to figure out exactly what we wanted to talk about this week and we thought that it would be important to talk about how to manage stress and that's such like a broad term. But really manage stress with between work and home life, home life, work life like everything compounded together always gets so complicated and stressful in today's world. There's always so much going on and even if there's not so much going on in your personal life between work and home and kids and animals and whatnot the access to so much information through social media I feel like it's just very easy to get overwhelmed and stressed out. Very easy to get overwhelmed and stressed out. I had a hair scan done just a couple months ago now and basically it's like a 90-day comprehensive scan of what's going on in your body and my top two categories that needed to be worked on were stress and hormone imbalance. So the last couple of months we've really been trying to focus on how to control stress so that I can function.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I mean your hormone imbalance just kind of comes with the territory. Yeah, to an extent.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:There are things, obviously, that you can do to combat whatever it is that your body's dealing with.
Speaker 2:And I do have PCOS. So that's why he says that Luckily my levels aren't too crazy, but it's not uncommon for me to have hormonal imbalances. I just got off of hormonal birth control in December, so my body is adjusting for sure. I've been on hormonal birth control since I was in eighth grade and I actually think that it has been a huge hit on my mental health, my physical health, I mean. I think it's screwed me up kind of a lot. So getting off of it has been a freaking ride and a journey.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean, how long were you on it?
Speaker 2:Since eighth grade. How long ago was that?
Speaker 1:I don't know. So you've been on it for what Like 11 years, yeah probably. Yeah, and then it's recently. Like you said, it's just been a process trying to figure out how to get your body regulated yeah, well and without it right.
Speaker 2:And even then, when it was like regulated on it I say that in quotations because it wasn't like it basically stops your cycles altogether and pumping in so many like artificial hormones and stuff like that it just messes with your body. Um, so that's kind of why it's been. It's been a journey and it's not uncommon for me to have hormonal imbalances and whatnot. But I knew when I got my hair scan, I mean I was hitting a point where I was like something, I need something to help me. Like I feel like I was going through some personal realizations and therapy and that were just like really hard for me to kind of take on. I also tried getting off of my prescription antidepressant and anti-anxiety Is it both? I don't know.
Speaker 2:Whatever I'm on and it's just was not the right time to do it and I was like going a little cuckoo kazoo. Like going a little cuckoo kazoo but just realizing how important combining, like, your mental health and your physical health are in managing your stress, and not even managing your stress, but being able to enjoy the moments that you're out doing fun things or decompressing. Like it was hard for me to even enjoy doing those things, cause I was just sitting there thinking about what needed to be done All the shit.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like thinking about everything. And so I was at this point where I was like I like something has has to change. And so the last couple of months I've really taken a step back from work and tried just taking a lot of time off, which has been good. I think it's been good for me to kind of reset like my values and exactly what I want and it's not necessarily that what I want has changed, but I've just been able to hone in, I guess, and like realize exactly how I might get there or whatever, because I don't have this like cloud of stress over me all the time of stress over me all the time.
Speaker 1:Yeah Well, and I think a huge factor that led us into wanting to discuss managing stress and anxiety this week is last week's meeting with our therapist, where I'm not completely sure on you but for me I was very surprised when he told us that the summer season is a time where depression and the suicide rates skyrocket.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:For me maybe it's just because I grew up in Arizona and I'm more used to the heat or whatever. Winter time for me is the time where I'm like, oh man, I just want to stay inside, I want to be under a blanket, I want to get warm. I don't want to go out there and deal with that. I don't want to go out there and deal with that. But then come to find out there's so many people who do the exact same thing during the summer months, where it's just too hot outside. They don't want to go out and sweat and risk a stroke or whatever the case might be, and so they stay inside the house where it's cool, got the air conditioning and, regardless of the season, it sounds nice, when you're just thinking about it in your head, to stay inside the house, not have to deal with the elements. I don't think, as humans, being cooped up indoors anywhere is natural for us.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:We need to have connection with nature, we need to breathe fresh air, and if we don't do those things for an extended period of time I can say this with 100% certainty because I have experienced it many times that it just makes you more depressed, more anxious spirals that I had, which started in other places but were so combined with staying indoors that it just got too much for me to handle.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And that's why we have been doing, or at least trying to get outside more. We just went on a camping trip Today. We just went to a reservoir with some friends, got some sun, went out on the kayak and we've been trying to take the dogs up the canyon to get some time in the river, let them get their energy out, allow us to do our cold plunges and breathe the fresh air, get a little bit away from society and the hustle and bustle of the city. For me, that's something that also stresses me out is just being constantly in the concrete jungle stresses me out, is just being constantly in the concrete jungle, surrounded by other people, cop sirens, ambulances, helicopters going over.
Speaker 2:It's a big relief for me to be out in nature and to connect with the actual world yeah, yeah, well, and I mean we've been, we've been committed to taking our dogs on walks every day, or I mean, how long has it been?
Speaker 1:it's been a while now that we've been really good with it. I mean, we were always there. We'd never really like neglected. Yeah, we're. They get spoiled, but us taking them. You know, six out of the seven days of the week has probably been for at least a year, year and a half.
Speaker 2:Yeah Well, and if not, like it's seven out of seven days.
Speaker 1:Right, yeah, I mean there's. There'll be weeks in a row where they just don't miss.
Speaker 2:Right and like our walks include going up to the canyon and doing big walks or just going over to the local high school and playing in the field for a minute.
Speaker 2:Walking around the neighborhood, going to the park, just getting out, yeah, and honestly, I feel like it has been for a minute or walking around the neighborhood going to the park, just getting out, yeah, and honestly I feel like it has been. It has been really really good for us to get out, and not only get out, but get out together and have that time to just kind of like decompress together in a way that we don't have phones or computers or TVs or whatever, and it doesn't mean that we sit there and have like deep conversations every time we go outside, but we do just get that time to connect with each other, while connecting with nature, while also connecting with ourselves, because it is an act of love to show up for yourself in that way. And there are plenty of days when we're like I really don't want to do this.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:But I think that a big part of why I realized how big of a thing it is is because this last winter we were going out every single day and even when it was like snowing, a snowstorm, like our walk time would come around and it's like I want to go outside and we're like bundling up because it's just like we need to be out there and I realized how much I craved it and like needed to be out there just getting some of that fresh air and getting freaking snowed on or rained on or whatever.
Speaker 2:And then, when we've been watching all of our like nature documentaries and stuff and realizing how much we are nature and the fact that we have kind of secluded ourselves from nature just as a society, I think that it's a big part of why so many of us are dealing with depression and anxiety. And I mean I think most of us know people who have died by suicide and or attempted or whatever the case may be, or even, like ourselves, have contemplated or whatever. I mean I've been dealing with depression since I was in I would probably say middle school is when it really started to hit me. Anxiety has been like since I came out of the womb, yeah, but and I don't know if maybe it has something to do with like your freaking hormones going crazy when you're about that age, mixed with like our societal pressures and how, whatever. But like we, I think we were meant to be like connected with nature and not so disconnected from it all the time well, and I think a huge thing too is just the fact that we get our bodies moving.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we're not sitting on the couch, we're not laying down just watching movies or tv shows for hours on end yeah because I mean, I've had doctors tell me the importance of getting up and moving in general, but even more so after finding out about my blood cancer, which I don't know if we discussed on here but, my blood cancer.
Speaker 1:To make a long story short, essentially my body produces too many platelets right now and well, always, it will always yeah, it's, I will always have the blood cancer, but what I I'm saying is, right now, the only thing that it's doing is producing too many platelets in my body, which platelets are used to help you. When you get a cut or when you get some kind of external injury, the platelets will go and clog up that spot so that you don't continually bleed. And the issue with having too many of those I mean there's multiple issues, but for me it makes me prone to blood clots, and I have to get up and move every so often. I have to be aware of staying stagnant for too long, because if I am stagnant for too long and day after day, month after month, I'm that much more likely to form a blood clot.
Speaker 1:Yeah more likely to form a blood clot. Yeah, but even with that set aside again, just getting out and moving is something that helps to keep our bodies alert, helps to keep them functioning our organs to pump blood to where blood needs to be pumped.
Speaker 2:I saw something that actually said that, like going out and being in nature it does. What is it called? Like activate your parasympathetic, your nervous system, which is a like big part of your whole entire life, honestly is your nervous systems and we have been learning about how important our nervous systems are, and to be able to see the difference between our lives a year and a half ago compared to now, I mean it's like crazy to really even think about, at least for me. I know you feel like you haven't come like the farthest way and you have so much more to do, but I think you're just really hard on yourself because, honestly, like you look back a year and a half ago and it's like holy hell, we were having huge blow-up fights all the time. Yeah, they were ending like fine as in, like we didn't leave each other fine, it's fine, but they were big fights and happening every few days.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean I think I have. I can see the progress and the strides that I've made when it comes to my relationship with the people around me and how I handle conversations, handle experiences where I struggle, where I feel like I'm struggling now more so than more so than I did at any other point in my life is with that internal battle.
Speaker 1:Explain more. I mean, I just feel like I've had a lot of bouts with depression in the last two years. Depression has been a huge thing for me that I'm just constantly battling with, and it's not like I'm just depressed all the time and I'm, you know, sad, hate life. But yeah, growing up I felt like I had every reason to be depressed and to feel shitty about myself, and maybe I did. But thinking back on it now as an adult, I don't really feel like I felt that way. When I was younger, I don't feel like I dealt with depression as much. I don't feel like I dealt with anxiety as much, and when I say I don't feel like I dealt with it, I just don't feel like it was something that was a part of my everyday life as much as it has been the last couple years.
Speaker 2:So you feel like that's why you like haven't made progress.
Speaker 1:It's not why I feel like I haven't made progress, but it's why I am hard on myself. It's why you like haven't made progress. It's not why I feel like I haven't made progress, but it's why I am hard on myself. It's why because, when I think about it, I'm like okay, you know how I am. I I try to think about things in a manner that, to me, is realistic. Whether it is or isn't realistic, I am not 100 sure on that, but for me I'm like okay, let me look at this realistically.
Speaker 2:Yes, I have improved in this area, but I feel like I've devolved in this area I feel like they might just be like manifesting themselves in different ways or like gotten too debilitating, like I feel like those are probably things that you were dealing with when you were younger, but you just had enough distractions to like well, that's the thing.
Speaker 1:I wasn't conscious about them like I am now right.
Speaker 2:So then how does that mean that you be evolved though?
Speaker 1:it's just how it feels, because right but feelings can change right, sure, but when you're not conscious about it, it's not that, it's not that it's not there, but you're not thinking about it on a regular basis.
Speaker 2:Yeah, maybe I get what you're saying.
Speaker 1:Well then, I don't understand what you're asking. Why are you asking a question then? I want to say this, though, like I feel just from our last maybe no, not so much this week's meeting with our therapist, but one before that and maybe even the one before that, the conversations that we've had were kind of geared toward because this is something I brought up in therapy that I feel like I'm not progressing as much as I want to be. It's frustrating me. I feel like I take a step forward and I take two steps back. I feel like I take a step forward and I take two steps back. And, of course, we discussed the fact that I'm now engaged in working on myself, going to therapy, kind of uprooting the traumas, the bad experiences, whatever else is there that's holding me down, holding me back, has been brought to the surface yeah, when I was a kid, I think.
Speaker 1:It was in the process of like getting like rooted yeah, I think it was in the process maybe, but it was so slow going back then because I didn't feel like I had a real reason to work on myself, and that's what I mean when I'm saying I'm not conscious about it. As a kid, I wasn't thinking about oh, I do these things that I shouldn't be doing. I need to change in this way, this way and this way. I didn't think that as a kid, I didn't think that as a teenager, I didn't think that as a teenager, I didn't think that as a young adult.
Speaker 2:That's wild.
Speaker 1:That's how much I pushed all of that stuff down.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Because I didn't want to deal with it.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And now that I am and it's all dug up, it's all there at the surface, it's on my mind, it's something that I'm more conscious about thinking about on a daily basis. Yeah, and because of that, maybe it's. Maybe that's the reason why it's been so difficult in the last couple years, to been so difficult in the last couple years to get away from depression and anxiety and all those feelings.
Speaker 2:No, that would make complete sense to me. Well, and then it also goes to the fact of, like, if you're sitting there thinking about all of these things that are wrong all of the time, welcome to OCD baby.
Speaker 2:I know, but if you are thinking of those things all the time and repeat in a negative manner, that's what your nervous system is going to know is negative, negative, negative, bad, bad, bad, and you're not going to be able to see the good and you're not going to be able to change for the better because you're constantly dwelling on the past I understand obviously like it's not like you can just like you said, when you're sitting there like dealing with those things, you're gonna be like thinking about them all the time yeah, but you have to make like a I think it's like a conscious like remember when I said something about like I hate something and I was like, oh, never mind, I just don't like it.
Speaker 2:Like you literally have to like stop yourself from dwelling on things in like a negative condemnation or you're not going to be able to continue making your steps forward right?
Speaker 1:but that is also what makes it so difficult. Is my nervous system being used to reacting to situations, to phrases, in a certain manner? Is that that's my habit, right? When something happens, if I'm not immediately conscious about it, I'm going to do what I'm used to. I'm going to do what I've always done, and I'm not saying it's right. I'm not saying that you should just let it be that way.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but I feel like to change the system. You have to understand the system, right?
Speaker 1:Yeah, you have to understand it, but you also just have to prepare yourself to be conscious in those situations. And when I say that, I mean when we were discussing with our therapist my anger issues. Specifically, we talked about when exactly do you notice yourself getting angry? And it's not because when I before I had to really think about that question. If you were to ask me that question and say you have three seconds to respond, then I would say, oh, I start thinking about it when I'm losing my shit.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:But when I really took time to analyze different situations that I've been through every single time. 99% of the time when I'm angry about something, it's not a spur of the moment thing. It's very rare that something just happens at the snap of a finger that pisses me off it's usually something that I'm stirring about in my head beforehand, and that's when I start feeling angry.
Speaker 2:So your anger is sitting there, boiling and boiling.
Speaker 1:It's, yes, it's just waiting to come out.
Speaker 2:Yeah Well, and when you're not used to and you don't know how, and you've never learned how to express your emotions as you're feeling them. Emotions are meant to be felt as they come there. It's supposed to be like as they come, as they go.
Speaker 1:And but that's why I'm saying it's so, it's so good to be conscious about these things. It's because if we're not, then we just lying to ourselves in a sense. I mean, I was sitting there telling myself that there was no way for me to control my anger, because it would just come out right away and I had no time to battle it.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:When in all reality, like there's majority of very there are very few times where I don't have that opportunity to take a step back.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, Well, and like multiple times that you would say, like when I get to that point, I I cannot stop myself, Right, and like my anger will never be better.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I still struggle with that. To an extent it's like seeing red Right. When I get to that point of seeing red, I'm not going to say it's impossible to pull myself out of it, but it's really damn hard.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:But it's definitely a lot easier to pull myself out of it when I haven't just been sitting there waiting to explode. That's why it was so difficult to pull myself out of. It is because I, the top of the pot's been tricking, placking the lid off the sides, yeah, and then it blows up.
Speaker 2:Right. Well, and I think that, honestly, I feel like the last month especially, I've just tried to really understand not even month, it's been a few months, honestly where I've been trying to understand the male experience and I feel like I've been able to explore that because I have a male partner who is willing to listen to the female experience and to make me feel safe and listen to me when I say like hey, this is what it's like to be a female in this world, and instead of you being like me, you listen yeah, well, and vice versa.
Speaker 1:I learned a lot from you talking to me about your experiences.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I feel like I've I've kind of always known that it's been like that for men, um, but I feel like, because I've been able to really kind of put my defense walls down when it comes to being like a woman and listening to your experience, I've been able to learn so much and I think a lot of men have a similar story of they were never given the opportunity to learn how to feel their emotions or to express or emote or anything like that. And anger is one of those emotions that when you don't have a hold on it, it's probably going to explode easy, right In quotations easy more often, in a way, in an inappropriate way.
Speaker 1:Well, and I'm glad that you brought that up Sorry to cut you off, but I think it's just something that resonated with me when you were talking is it's not just anger, it's emotions in general that I didn't learn how to express. Yeah, not even forget about dealing with them.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:We're talking, that's like you know, a handful of steps ahead of, a step that I didn't even learn Right, and I think that is what factored so much into my recent experiences with feeling depressed, feeling negative emotions is that I wasn't expressing them before? Yeah, at all, I mean every once in a blue moon.
Speaker 2:Right. But, but it was usually after an explosion right when everything is so overwhelming and now I have this like guilt of exploding over me and I can't control it anymore. But are you done with that thought? Can I finish what I was?
Speaker 1:saying. I just wanted to say that because I feel like I'm I could be making working on yourself sound scary or like daunting. Right now it's like, oh well, why would I want to work on myself and feel like shit because of it? Right, I do think that working on yourself, it's just tough.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:It's not ever going to be easy for anybody.
Speaker 2:Right, it's just kind of the reality of it. Yeah, but it doesn't mean that it's not something that you should do right and that it's not worth it and that there's not something to look forward to on the other side right yeah, no, absolutely well.
Speaker 2:And just to finish my point about how I feel like this is kind of a a general theme with men in society is majority were not taught how to emote these things. Right, heard growing up that men don't cry. What do you mean? Men don't cry like we all come out of a womb and most of us were probably screaming, crying like we came into this world, crying and, oh, like it honestly gets me like I'm about to start crying because I'm like mad, but anyways, but anyways. I think that anger is one of those emotions that it's going to demand to be felt. That's why so many men especially deal with this like uncontrolled anger. And I mean because, seriously, I think feminine rage is definitely a thing. I think that's like almost women's superpower. To me is like emotions.
Speaker 1:Well, and I feel like for men and I don't want to speak for everybody, but for me at least, and I'm sure other men out there anger for those of us that were taught or not I don't want to say taught, but for those of us that weren't taught how to express emotion correctly, I think anger is one of those emotions that seem to be more accepted by society, by whoever Right.
Speaker 2:Well, and it also makes me think about this is one of the points I was going to make before you cut me off, but it's fine that you cut me off is that I think when you mix testosterone in the picture, pride and ego seem to be a lot harder to control. I mean, like females, we've got it, we've got got it for sure, but it's just something else when it comes. You know how much I talk about the male ego. It's a very specific like type of I swear, like testosterone freaking elixir. I don't know, that just is something else. And when you mix that and most most males that I know are passionate, and I mean most females I think it's a human. I think it's a human trait to be passionate.
Speaker 2:And when you mix that with a pride and an ego, that it might be out of control, and whether that's your family's doing, mixed with society's doing, mixed with friends, mixed with whatever Like, that is a problem that needs to be addressed, because I don't think it helps society when it's uncontrolled. It does not help the individuals, which then leads to depress, anxiety, suicidal humans. And, like we, we have to learn how to like, how to better ourselves so that we can like actually enjoy life. Actually enjoy life. Like if we're not going to be dead, then we're going to be alive, and if we're going to be alive, then like we should make it worth it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, and I definitely think well, and then also like to talk about sorry, just one quick thing is that male suicide rates are so high and that's something that should be talked about and it is a problem and I don't think a lot of men feel seen and whether it's because they don't see themselves and society doesn't see them, they deserve to be seen and, like females should be the loudest about that, because we haven't been like. It is so sad to see people in general. I don't care what gender you are, I don't care what you identify as like not see themselves for just being human.
Speaker 1:Like we're all trying our hardest, so go jump in a river yeah, and my experience with my depression and being a man is that I never felt like, and still kind of feel, this way. Okay, I feel like I don't have friends with whom I can have a conversation about feelings Not as much now, I guess, but growing up especially, it was like I'm not as men, as boys. We didn't just go to our buddies and say Are there any over there? But growing up I didn't feel like as boys or as men we had, we were able to really go to each other with conversations like that. Yeah it, we weren't taught to express our emotions. So going to another human being that wasn't taught how to express their emotions, yeah, it's like, okay, I can't really talk to the guys about it because they're probably just going to give me shit for feeling the way that I'm feeling. Yeah, because that was just what a lot of guys were taught, right, or a lot of us learned.
Speaker 2:Or even just like observed.
Speaker 1:And then, on the other side of that, okay, I can't talk to the guys, can I talk to a female about this? For me, my mind goes straight to either I don't want to burden them with this, or I can't talk to a female because that's almost like romantic, in a sense, because you get to this place where you're not sharing your feelings so much, you're hiding them from everyone and everything that, when you are willing to open up and be vulnerable the vulnerability I confuse for, like it, being romantic right's like if I'm being vulnerable with a woman, then I must be being romantic with her.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And so if I was a single dude, now I can't talk to the dudes or the women.
Speaker 2:Right, right, yeah, I mean that would make complete sense that, like your, your brain would make the connection like that. But that's why I think, like it's so important for men to be seeing other men being vulnerable and and to make those efforts with the people around you. And, like we've said from the very beginning, if it starts with you being vulnerable with just your own mind and writing yourself a note in your phone that doesn't get shared, that's where it starts. If that's where vulnerability starts for you, then that's where it starts and you should start and I just really, really hope that, like, we can get our shit together like I don't know, I'm such like a we can change the world type person, but you know, that's just me and my big dreams, um, but if not, we can change the world. We can change our worlds.
Speaker 2:Going back to the four agreements, right, we live in our own worlds, we're part of our own worlds and you can change your world. And depression and anxiety fucking suck man, they're not easy. Well, and I also I actually did have a thought while you were talking about, like when you were young is I feel like because of how many different hormones women have and our 28-day cycles and I think that we we are excused in society more for emoting.
Speaker 2:Being crazy and so, like it wasn't uncommon to like cry with like your girlfriends.
Speaker 1:Would you do it around guys, though? Did you not give a shit, or was it something that you were conscious about, like, oh, there's some cute boys over there. I better not be like over here crying with the girls.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, there's some cute boys over there. I better not be like over here crying with the girls. Oh yeah, it was just like and it wasn't really like deep, heartfelt conversations, crying, you know, but it's like, oh, watching this movie and like and and crying, and like also getting giggly, talking about having crushes or or whatever, like I think and I don't necessarily think that's the complete right way to go about it either, because we are still responsible for the way that we act- yeah every day of those 28 days.
Speaker 2:That doesn't mean like when I'm on my period I literally say like go do this for me because I'm on my period and you can't say no, so go do it. Like being a female and having menstruation and like a cycle and that shit sucks.
Speaker 1:So like give me a fucking break sometimes well it's different too, because it's physical pain on top of emotional and hormonal yeah, but also like that doesn't mean I get to be a complete bitch to you.
Speaker 2:I still need to treat you with kindness, but if I am a little bit short or a little extra moody or a little bit extra like whiny or whatever, like you understand it so if you're struggling with an emotion, like you're having a day where you're just pissed off, yeah or you're having a day where you're super depressed.
Speaker 1:When you go to sleep and wake up, it's still like that with your cycle depending on where you're at, kind of so like. Because, like for me I mean, you've heard me say so many times and you've even seen me do so many times, where I'm feeling some sort of negative emotion it's the end of the day, but definitely not bedtime end of the day.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's like five o'clock.
Speaker 1:And I'm like I don't want to deal with this emotion anymore. I don't want to feel it, so I'm going to bed.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Because I know if I go to bed, I'm going to wake up tomorrow and slate's going to be clean. Yeah, I'm going to be happy. Yeah, I'm going to be like forget about that shit, right, which, by the way, don't just go to bed. That's just not a healthy coping mechanism. To just completely shut it down like that Because it took you a while to see that it wasn't. Do you feel like with your cycle is what I was getting at, that it's easier to address things because you don't just like go to bed, wake up and feel completely different about it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so I mean honestly, it's almost as if a day to you is a week for us, so like so you're old as fuck. Yeah, and I'm wise as fuck, don't forget it. You heard? Yeah so like you heard. Yeah, so like, as I look at your freaking impaled palm from falling on a stick, it's because you weren't there to catch me.
Speaker 1:You weren't there to catch me so wise I still need you.
Speaker 2:What is a man if he's not needed? I'm just kidding, that's fucked up to say you have worth.
Speaker 2:You have worth on your own, but I am a princess and I will be treated by fun. What were we talking about? Oh, yeah, like a week versus a day. So like yeah, yeah, that shit's whack. And like when you have longer cycles which is a thing with ucos and stuff like that, and even just normal, I mean it's like a 28 day to a 35 day cycle, it's like normal and the same day over and over again, sometimes, like you kind of have like this overall mood and like theme and like okay, I have energy this week. I, um, losing a little bit of energy. I fucking hate life. And then I hate life and I'm bleeding, like the one where I get super pissy, like pms. Why it's called premenstrual cycle. That's your freaking.
Speaker 2:well, that's the phase that, just like I want to rip feminine rage, I would rip your freaking neck off of your body with my teeth you can't say that oh, like I, it's just that like shut the fuck up, but then, like, when I'm like that, the way that you respond to me, I like could also definitely be like into it, definitely be like into it. What do you mean by that? Like lose control? No, like into it as in, like it's go time oh because so before that week is like ovulation.
Speaker 2:So that's when it's like freaking men, go get your hair cut for your lady, bring her flowers. If you know she likes a certain outfit, wear it, impress her that week as in, like you look good, you you're confident, like you want to look good for her type of a mood, and then it goes into that, like I think it's your luteal. Luteal is before. There's two that I can never remember the order. That's one of them, it's your spring, and then it's ovulation summer, and then the other one which is fall, and then it's ovulation summer, and then the other one which is fall, and then winter is period, because when you're menstruating, your menstrual cycle, when you're menstruating, is when you should be resting the most. Women need more sleep during that, which they need at least nine hours normally.
Speaker 1:I'm only taking in like a third of this, but what do you mean? It's a lot. I'm not just going to remember all this.
Speaker 2:Well, it's fine because it's being recorded.
Speaker 1:I've never heard about this stuff before.
Speaker 2:Maybe it's being recorded. You can listen to it over and over again until you remember. Just kidding, we can keep talking about it more so that you understand more.
Speaker 1:Because I've been researching this a lot, because I need to be like well, and it's hard for me to understand just based off of hearing. I like to witness, I like to.
Speaker 2:I'll be very loud okay, I'll be very loud about my next, like my phases from now on, in what phase I'm in and honestly I think that, like females thrive in that routine and I think that males do too being in that cycle and like understanding what's going to happen and like how life is going to be, it kind of adds this like structure and flow of life yeah, I think we all need structure to an extent, to different extents yeah, no, I've, I felt, I feel like, I have felt like, especially since getting off birth control, hormonal birth control is that like understanding what is happening to your body and being in touch and in tune with like what you need and being present and feeling in tune with like what you need and being present and feeling things as they come, like that's what peace feels like and what love feels like.
Speaker 1:I wouldn't know, I'm just kidding You're crazy, that's hilarious.
Speaker 2:That's hilarious, but I do want to say. I do want to say last year we were introduced to cold plunging by our friends Cece and Thomas, and I In the middle of the winter. It wasn't the middle of the winter, it was cold as shit.
Speaker 1:There was like almost ice on top of the river, a river Moving water.
Speaker 2:So the first time we did it I was kind of feeling like I needed a push in the mental health department, I guess, or like overcoming my brain, I think I needed a breakthrough like that. And so the first time we went I went like up to my chest and loved it.
Speaker 1:I was in there, for I went all the way in went.
Speaker 2:Okay, but let's talk about how you went all the way in.
Speaker 1:Jason was sitting there at the edge like so scared to go, and because we had, like, our cat up to our calves in or something up to our knees maybe no, it was like calves.
Speaker 2:You didn't go like past. Your like freaking, like where your calves starts yeah and then you just jump in out of nowhere, just full, like almost cannonball because in my head I was.
Speaker 1:I wasn't thinking about the fact that I have organs and, like that, those are going to be colder underneath yeah. I just got used to my like up to my calf being that way and I was like, okay, this is like pins and needles kind of burns, but it doesn't completely suck, so I should be fine to just like send it yeah, but I had understood the situation of doing cold, pledging on a deeper like neurological level at that point than you did, I think.
Speaker 1:So you didn't understand, like, how you, like wouldn't be able to breathe yeah, because I saw chris hemsworth do it and he's a fucking beast, but you didn't listen to the science behind it before, you just watched him do it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he's a fucking beast, but you didn't listen to the science behind it before, you just watched him do it yeah, maybe I don't really remember that much exactly okay.
Speaker 2:So you're like and I'm like, babe, just start, you have to take deep breaths because we did some breath work before. Our friend thomas led it and um, and he was teaching us like certain methods and whatnot. So I was like trying to get you to do it and you're like no, no, no, and just like got out. And then we were sitting in there for like another 15 minutes and I was just as content as could be. I got out and I was like wow, like I feel so accomplished and like I did something hard. That was so good. I was like on cloud nine and you were just like how the did you do that?
Speaker 1:that was crazy, like that was, that was nuts I don't even think you got that full sentence out before I was out of the water. You might have got two words in before I was yeah, I was trying to like. I was trying to be like breathe, and you're like before you even got that word out of your mouth, I was probably moving toward the shore.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was.
Speaker 1:As soon as I went in, I was like damn.
Speaker 2:I fucked up yeah you were like instant panic, so like there was panic in your eyes like for reals. So then we went with them again and I kind of went up to my knees. I kind of wasn't really into it. And then I realized like it's probably because this water is so fucking cold. We've never done this before. And also now I realize that my sensory disorder actually overwhelms me so much with something like that, because it's like I can feel every individual cell in my body reacting and like I think that's how everyone feels in that water no, but like I can, like I can like.
Speaker 1:Almost it's like an overload for me and I don't struggle with that stuff.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I have like, but that's what I'm trying to explain to you, is that it's like it's heightened for me? Oh yeah, I believe that like I can feel it, and then I can like feel like the nucleus, nucleus of that cell, like nucleus, the nucleus how do you say it?
Speaker 1:nucleus, nucleus, nucleus nucleus.
Speaker 2:Yes, that's way too hard of a word to say science remember how our therapist tried to explain the mitochondria test the powerhouse. It was so funny he definitely doesn't know what we were taught in school yeah, everyone our age knows the powerhouses yeah, everybody our age like, not even our age, because we're like we're we're four and a half years apart. It's a pretty good.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but they kind of reused the same type of shit in school for a while before they changed things.
Speaker 2:Right, but I was going to say that there's some things that, like you don't understand about my like something in my childhood. There's not a lot of things that I don't get from yours because I had older siblings, like my sister, like my sisters are 12, 10 years younger, older than me but we'll never have the lens of no where each other were born in the lineup.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like you'll never be able to understand what it was like to be the oldest sibling, I know and I'll never be able to understand what it was like to be the oldest sibling and I'll never understand what it's like to be the youngest.
Speaker 2:What's crazy about that, too, is to think about is if my mom would have had more kids, then I would have been the oldest when I was at my mom's house, and then I would have been the youngest at my dad's. And that would have been the craziest dynamic to live, and I'm so glad that I didn't live it. Yeah, the totem pole just gets flipped upside down literally like would I be the most like yin yang balanced human ever, or would I be a mess? Knowing me, I'd probably be a mess.
Speaker 1:I don't think so. I think if you, I think if you can handle it one way, I think you'd be fine the other. Maybe that's why, like you and I were, but I think if you can handle it one way, I think you'd be fine the other. Maybe that's why you and I work together well, but I do think that you would have different traits that have been developed depending on your experience.
Speaker 2:Right for sure. That's crazy to think about.
Speaker 1:Like how, I'm just how, I'm just so protective of so am I though. But it's like I'm protective. I just feel like I'm protective to an extent that you're not.
Speaker 2:I don't think you've ever had to see me be protective.
Speaker 2:But I feel the need to be protective way before you do See, but I wonder if it's just in a different way because you are coming from like like the male perspective and mine is more from like a female perspective maybe because I'm telling you one of the reasons that, like I'm kind of nervous to have kids and it doesn't necessarily make me not want to have them, but it's definitely something that I think about if somebody fucked with my kid, because I've already told you like I almost kicked a dog in the face because it- if somebody fucked with the dogs even.
Speaker 1:I know and like that's and a kid would be even that much more exactly I mean, I love these dogs but realistically speaking, I know if we had a human, yeah, like that would have to take priority right. Well, it would like biologically be like yeah not even biologically, but just like bonded drawn to it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, especially you yeah, but like I think about that and I'm like that terrifies me, that that scares me it should, because you would not have a husband for very much longer. They would be sending me to the big house no, and that's one of the reasons that I love you so much, honestly, is because I know that you would have to step in.
Speaker 1:I would be on some like Thanos shit. Just eviscerate them from the earth with the snap of a finger.
Speaker 2:I love how protective you are. It's like one of my favorite things about you, but like I also feel that, and you know how deep of like that motherly. That is an overall theme which actually to bring that up, because I did say that we would talk a little bit about Zodiac things- it is.
Speaker 2:Let me finish this. Your sun sign is like the Zodiac, that's like June 29th I'm a Cancer, december 22nd you're a Capricorn. So your overall theme can kind of go back to those cancer traits or those Capricorn traits. But then other traits come in and, depending on the house, it's a complicated concept. It really is. But cancers are very mothering, nurturing, and that is something that, like every single, like that, is an overall thing in my life. And then I think, also because of my experiences of wanting to feel more protected. I would be drawn to somebody that has that same, like deep passion for protecting.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Because I wouldn't be comfortable, like being married to somebody who wasn't protective. Quite honestly, I barely feel like I can like completely not pay attention to a situation, because I'm with you, around other people, I'm a lot more aware, like I trust you more than I trust anybody else, but I'm still going to be aware of our surroundings. I'm not just going to completely be like it's me, like I've seen videos like that and I'm like sorry, she has too much trauma. That ain't going to be me.
Speaker 1:No, that's.
Speaker 2:And that's like it's. I'm going to be aware.
Speaker 1:I think it's okay to be aware. Yeah, it's a different thing to be aware than to be like obsessing about something bad happening to you. Right, and I would hope that you're not just like ditzy, walking around like.
Speaker 2:Yeah, even if you were there.
Speaker 1:Like ever going to be able to happen. Yeah, even if I'm there, right? Because?
Speaker 2:like. It's not like. My eyes are just on you 24 7, when they're like also around everything else. I'm gonna glance over a lot and make sure things are okay, right but you're also gonna be like paying attention to the like yeah what's actually going on, see, and I let you pay attention to what's actually going on more when I'm with you, because I know that you're gonna do it in an appropriate manner yeah, but I was getting that is.
Speaker 1:I just feel you're going to do it in an appropriate manner. Yeah, but I was getting that is. I just feel like you have to be aware of those things at least a little bit, or else I believe you're just living dangerously.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and not in like trust issues. And so I think and that's also like after watching this freaking perfect match and I don't remember who said it, but somebody was like everybody has trust issues nowadays.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And I was like damn we nowadays, yeah. And I was like damn we really do.
Speaker 1:Huh, like we gotta figure this shit out yeah, but I also feel like with our different amounts of protectiveness, um, I just feel like mine is freaking through the roof yeah, yours is pretty high and I think that it has a lot to do with the fact of both of us going through childhood traumas and dealing with cptsd.
Speaker 2:Yeah, complex post-traumatic stress disorder.
Speaker 1:Well, I feel like being the oldest sibling.
Speaker 2:Maybe, it's in a parent way.
Speaker 1:Being the oldest sibling, I think, just shaped me so much in the way that I protect when I feel like I need to protect, because even with the dogs it's not just with you. Yeah, it could be me walking the dogs by myself. I'm still gonna flip around and do my little 360 every, every block, every half block. Make sure that there's no dogs out following us. Make sure there's no weirdos that look like they're trailing.
Speaker 1:See, and that's exactly how I'm walking, or people trying to freaking, come out of their house beefing with each other and I catch a stray or some shit. The dogs catch a stray. Yeah, I'm that way with you and with them, but if I was walking out by myself I probably wouldn't turn around. I, I'm that way with you and with them.
Speaker 2:But if I was walking out by myself, I probably wouldn't turn around.
Speaker 1:I would maybe turn around twice on a walk yeah, not me. So I feel so much more of a need to just like protect what I care about.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, and I almost feel like the oldest sibling kind of has this overall like parent type love but you don't know what you're doing exactly and like, and so when parents allow their oldest children to take that role on themselves, it's doing them such a disservice yeah, well, I mean, obviously the parent isn't getting, isn't parenting, yeah, and then for me, I thought to myself oh, let me absorb as much of this as I possibly can to protect so that my brothers don't have to deal with it.
Speaker 2:To protect.
Speaker 1:And even now, as an adult, like it's hard for me to say because half of me wants to say good job.
Speaker 2:Absolutely Like good job, what you have to do.
Speaker 1:But then the other half of me is like I shouldn't have had to take all that on, and not even from like like a parent standpoint, yeah, but like I shouldn't have taken all that on for them right because because it has harmed me for years and years, and so I was bubble wrapping my brothers through a situation that was not good, and you're not always going to be there to freaking, make the situation go exactly how you want.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:For their benefit.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:And then nine years old. I didn't live with them anymore and I'm sure that hit them like a ton of bricks yeah, well, and it's.
Speaker 2:It's something that you literally had nightmares about as a child.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Like that's sad.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like that's sad. Yeah, and what Aaliyah's talking about is with my youngest blood brother, his name's Bo. My middle brother his name is Colton was his grandma on his dad's side got custody of him when we were young. I don't even know what age, maybe like five.
Speaker 2:Colton got his yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and Colton left, but Bo and I were in the thick of it until my dad got custody of me at nine. Where was I going with that?
Speaker 2:Talking about that night.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah. And so it was mostly with Bo that I developed that relationship and went through all the experiences together, went through the shit, knew how much it sucked. I did as much as I could to protect him. I got us up in the morning and would get us ready for school, feed us as much of a breakfast as I could, and I just took my role as an older brother very seriously and I wanted nothing more than to protect my brother. And then, at nine years old, after having to move away from him having to move away from him I was in therapy because my grandmother had initiated it and I had to talk to my grandma about how I would have nightmares that I was on the top of a cliff ledge and my brother, bo, was further down the cliff on the side hanging on trying not to fall off, and that I would reach down to pick him up and pull him up to the top, and we couldn't reach each other.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I just couldn't. I literally there was nothing that I could do to reach down and help him. Yeah, and it would be a recurring nightmare, day after day, for a while.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Like that's so sad for a nine-year-old to be having a dream like that, having a dream like that and like also the guilt is so sad for a nine-year-old to deal with, and like it's just to show like how Well, and it sucks too, because my dad getting custody was the best thing for me. Yeah, and like because of that you.
Speaker 1:But I feel like I got out, yeah, and they didn't have. I got out.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And they didn't have their way out.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I wonder if that's like an experience that a lot of people who had similar situations happen to them through family adoption or foster care or just life circumstance where a sibling who did take that responsibility left high school.
Speaker 1:I mean, I'm thinking about how a handful of professional athletes, college athletes like people on scholarship for academics and like there's nothing that you did wrong, but you feel guilty and, like you, do deserve not even.
Speaker 2:There's nothing that you did wrong yeah but it's almost like there was no other decision that could even be made yeah because nine years old, I don't get that option right you get that at like 15 or something you can choose which parent you want to live with but also I do think that, um, it goes to show who you are at a, at the core right, like who jason really is is like a fierce protector and lover and brave and loving, like the only reason you felt that guilt is because you loved him and you do love him. But the guilt doesn't need to be there.
Speaker 1:I'm still working on that one.
Speaker 2:I know, but like you deserve good too, I love you. I love you, I love you too.
Speaker 1:Jesus, our therapist is gonna love me crying yeah we can talk about it for the next month, like the last time oh my god, I know and you're crying way more now.
Speaker 2:I know, quite honestly, I haven't cried in a minute. I know I honestly haven't cried in a minute. I haven't cried in a minute. I'm like it's gonna be like floodgates.
Speaker 1:I know at the beginning of the episode we kind of got started talking about dealing with anxiety.
Speaker 2:I mean, this all goes into play with.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but I was just about to say I think it would be great to get feedback from the listeners, the viewers on YouTube as to maybe the way that the episode has been presented and talked about the last few weeks has kind of been, like you said at the beginning, different from how we started out, and I feel like I would just like to know if the listeners and viewers like it to be more structured, Kind of like oh, these are our topics, we're going to kind of stay on those things.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Or if like we come in with a general idea and just kind of see where it takes us.
Speaker 2:Yeah, just kind of go with the flow of how the conversation goes. Yeah, because I feel like it feels of see where it takes us. Yeah, just kind of go with the flow of how the conversation goes.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because I feel like it feels good yeah, it's like just sit down and just shoot the shit instead of feeling anxious about like oh, like, we've been talking about this for like 20 minutes, so like I still have things that I want to say about this, but we're out of time.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, I get that. I like it a lot more when we're just shooting the shit for sure, and that's why I've liked the last two episodes, I mean, and we've gotten a lot of feedback of liking the last couple, but also we had good feedback of liking the beginning ones too.
Speaker 1:No, I don't think there was anything wrong with them. I'm just wondering because I feel the same as you where it's like I would rather just kind of I think it's flow smoother like this.
Speaker 2:Yeah, cool, I agree, I would like to know. I would definitely like to know. I think I slowly sink more and more and more into this chair every like five minutes. I'm trying not to, because Pretty soon my butt's going to fall off.
Speaker 1:The mic's been covering my freaking mouth the last well, I shouldn't say the last few. I corrected a few times ago but there were a couple episodes where it was just covering my mouth the whole video because I had it up too high, like right in front of my mouth you should put it off to the side, like how I did it, so it's not even like next to your face.
Speaker 2:Is there anything else that you want to say?
Speaker 1:no all righty I don't think so well, you know the drill peace out hasta luego did I say that right hasta luego, hasta luego I don't think you need to put an a on that one.
Speaker 2:It's not like you're addressing something feminine maybe I am addressing everybody's feminine energy right now when I say that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but a day like an actual day is just.
Speaker 2:Wait, what does Austerlager even mean?
Speaker 1:See you later.
Speaker 2:Okay, that's my phone.
Speaker 1:But like later is a time, it's not like something tangible, so it can't be feminine.
Speaker 2:Would time be feminine or masculine, or is it both?
Speaker 1:Grammatically.
Speaker 2:Huh.
Speaker 1:Grammatically? Or are you just shooting the shit? No, I'm just shooting the shit Like if it was to be something.
Speaker 2:what would it be? Huh, Grammatically, or are you just shooting the shit? No, I'm just shooting the shit Like if it was to be something, what would it be?
Speaker 1:Time. Yeah, I just don't feel like I could assign it anything.
Speaker 2:It would just be like gender fluid.
Speaker 1:It's just like there.
Speaker 2:But that's not an answer either.
Speaker 1:It doesn't have like I don't know, there's nothing to it. You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:No, that's like way too scientific of a definition of time.
Speaker 1:What do you think then?
Speaker 2:Sucker. I feel like, I feel like I just the only thing that I can think of is, honestly, what it would, what it would present as Like and the theme of what that specific one would be. Does that make sense? Sense, like I'm thinking if it was feminine, it would be very like romantic beauty and the beast type, like style, right, and then like if it was masculine and the feminine could be even for, like males, does that make sense? Like I'm not just saying like girls and boys, I'm saying like the feminine presentation and the masculine presentation okay okay, and then for the masculine, I feel like it would be.
Speaker 2:It's almost giving like mad hatter how it doesn't do anything this is just like if I had to style time, if I was times like stylist. This is what their style would be if they were feminine presenting and masculine presenting it's giving like Mad Hatter, like Alice in Wonderland, kind of mixed, like the Tim Burton Alice in Wonderland a little bit. Ooh, the feminine presenting might be kind of like an Aliceice in wonderland, like og alice in wonderland type, like style when you say alice in wonderland, that's literally the only one.
Speaker 1:I think of all these other fucking things that they've made.
Speaker 2:It's like I know, but it doesn't even pop in my head I know. But I like those ones because like the style was like, it was like good, like costumes, and I like the timber and stuff you know how I am when they redo my childhood movies. I know I love Alice in Wonderland too.
Speaker 1:We've watched that. I say you can't do that.
Speaker 2:You always fucking like no. And they've started making the men in black again and you're just like no.
Speaker 1:It's over, it's over.
Speaker 2:They're good.
Speaker 1:It's a different take, it's a different version. It's not even the same actors. Come on man.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's a different version.
Speaker 1:That's why I didn't like it, because it wasn't like the same actors.
Speaker 2:It's like they came out with a different album with, like, different costumes.
Speaker 1:It's disrespectful?
Speaker 2:No, it's not it literally is not, it's disrespectful? No, it is not.
Speaker 1:It's disrespectful? No, it is not. I don't disrespect my childhood like that and remake it.
Speaker 2:What You're such drama Like, just enjoy it Live action Lion King. Babe, that's so drama. Just a pre-. It's art, it's theater.
Speaker 1:Didn't they remake Dumbo?
Speaker 2:don't know, I didn't dumbo. Scared me as a kid so I didn't watch it. It was my favorite movie oh, I thought that the character he gets ripped away from his mother it was my favorite movie probably because you were like before titanic, that was my favorite movie before titanic um the drag brunch that we went to when they, when the burlesque dancer did type the titanic song and I was like babe is this?
Speaker 2:is this your jam? Yeah to a burlesque dancer. That's pretty dope. I was going to ask you something. I was going to ask you something.
Speaker 1:Shoot.
Speaker 2:Has it been too long baby?
Speaker 1:Is this our bedtime? Call what?
Speaker 2:do you think Okay, what do you think? She's wagging her tail?
Speaker 1:You ready for your bedtime treat?
Speaker 2:You're so cute.
Speaker 1:Yeah, go to bed.
Speaker 2:I love you. You're so sweet. I know You're so pretty, oh gorgeous girl. Yes, oh, oh, oh God. You ready to go to sleep? Go to bed. Mommy's got to go. Take off her makeup, yeah, and wash her face. Daddy will get you some treats, I'm sure, mm-hmm, I love you.
