Ep126: Toni Everard - What I Learned Speaking in Bali About Visibility & Leadership

Standing on a stage in Bali wasn’t the breakthrough.

The breakthrough was the identity behind it.

In this episode, business and mindset coach Toni Everard shares what speaking at a women’s symposium in Ubud revealed about visibility, belonging and leadership. Toni explores the shift from feeling “in the room but not in the club” to fully owning her space, and why permission is never granted externally, it is claimed internally.

This conversation goes beyond travel and speaking. It unpacks a common pattern Toni sees in the coaching and wellbeing space: highly skilled practitioners hiding behind their modality instead of leading with their lived experience, thinking and embodied results. Toni explains why putting the framework first makes you comparable, and why becoming the message makes you magnetic.

This episode is for coaches, practitioners and service-based leaders who know they have depth, wisdom and experience but are ready to stop waiting, stop shrinking and step into bigger rooms.

In this episode, you will learn:

• Why there is no “club” deciding who gets to lead
• How visibility is a decision, not a personality trait
• The difference between leading with a modality and leading with embodied authority
• Why comparison thrives when you position yourself as interchangeable
• How long-term investment in yourself becomes real, lived authority
•  Why you cannot change the world by being the world’s best kept secret
• What shifts when you decide who you are becoming
  
  

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If you found it valuable, share it with a coach or practitioner who needs to hear that their story is enough, or leave a review to help more people discover The Coaching Circle.

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If you’d love to dive deeper into Toni’s emotional freedom work, you can pre-order your copy here: The Turning Point Book Pre-Release

Links and Resources:

🔹 The Turning Point Book Pre-Release

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📺 YouTube

Transcript

0:00

You are listening to the Coaching Circle with Tony Everard, business and Mindset coach and your strategic thinking partner. This podcast is for those who want to step out of the hustle and glow in the flow. We'll talk about all things mindset, energy, and structure so you can evolve from the inside out and build a business that supports the life you want to live. Let's dive in. Today's the episode of The Coaching Circle. I'm talking about what I learned from speaking at a women's symposium in Ubud Bali about visibility, belonging, and leadership. And this is something that I really want you to listening to because if you're a coach or wellbeing practitioner or in some kind of service-based industry, then this is definitely something that's going to land for you. So last week I was in Ood Bali. I was speaking at an a women's symposium. I was invited to be a speaker there through my networks that I have through business, and there were, it was a global room. So there were women from all around the world, people from the uk, us, Ireland, um, New Zealand, Australia. There were women that live in Bali who come from different parts of the world. And there was a lot of big conversations and real leadership in the room. And it, it was fascinating because there were such a broad range of ages as well. There were, uh, women who were 23, 25 right through to, there were women that were 84, 86, so huge, broad, uh, I guess group of women with different levels of experience and knowledge and things that they had to share. And all extremely, extremely valuable. Now, I wasn't in that room thinking, oh my God, how did I get here? Because I've been in rooms in global communities for over 10 years now, since back in 2015. But what I was thinking when I was there is this is what happens when you decide who you are. And this is the lesson. So yes, it's fabulous that I get to travel in my business, that I get to stay in Bali and speak at events and that, you know, uh, I, I have all of these things that happen that's brilliant, but it's not the most important thing. I identity is the most important thing. And this is one I wanna delve into more in this episode because. Like I said, since 2015, I've been connecting with global community. So if you've been around before and heard you know a bit of my story, you'll know that before I started coaching, I got involved in affiliate marketing and that was a global community that I connected with, and I'm still connected with a lot of people. To this day, people in the US and the UK and, you know, across Australia or New Zealand and all around the place. And so I'm, I've been in these type of global communities in masterminds, in these international networks, in rooms with powerful thinkers. And then especially when I went into, uh, become an NLP trainer and NLP Master trainer, you know, I'm connected to people who are across Singapore and Malaysia, and again, the US and the uk and across Australia and all, all around the world. In these different types of communities and, but the thing that really changed for me in my thinking that I became aware of when I was in Bali is for a long time in these global communities, I was present, but I wasn't fully owning my specs. And it certainly wasn't because nobody or or anybody was excluding me. No one was excluding me. It was because I hadn't decided that I belonged at that level, and I just hadn't fully claimed it that I belonged at that level. And I remember feeling, you know, for a long time that even though I was there, it was like I wasn't in the club. Like there was something I couldn't quite get in the club. I was there, but I wasn't really in the club, and the shift didn't happen because suddenly someone said, oh yeah, you can join the club and here's your VIP entry. It happened because I stopped waiting to feel ready or stopped waiting for someone else to validate me, and I started to think very differently about myself and my business and what I have to offer. And so now when I'm walk walking into a room, I'm not scanning for approval. I'm not looking to see if I'm in the club. I'm really asking myself, what can I add here? What value can I add here? And that thinking changes everything. And not from that, oh, I don't have anything to add, but what is it about me that would be most valuable to be add added to this room? And this is something that I think is so important in the coaching and wellbeing space and because there's a real pattern that I see that comes up with people and people who are brilliant at coaching, they're deeply experienced as practitioners and they've got so much of their own wisdom that they've, you know, built throughout their life. But then they hide behind a particular modality, or they lead with the certifications of, you know, what certifications that they have, and they're like, this is the model. I've learned this from here, and I've got this certificate and I've done this study, and they're always hiding behind this. Somebody else has proven that this is the right thing. And I don't do that anymore. Now you'll know for a long time, like I said, I was an NLP trainer. In fact, I was an NLP master trainer. There was a lot of effort that went into be getting that level of accreditation, all of skill, experience, knowledge, all of those things that went into that. But at the end of the day, if that's all I'm gonna rest my hat on, then I'm just the same as any other NLP Master trainer. And I knew that there was so much more to me than that. And that was where the turning point came from. So the turning point is the process that I've created from my own experience and knowledge and understanding of working with people. But again, I'm not relying on that process as proving who I am. Because the really important thing that you have to realize is that the modality is the tool. Absolutely. But you are the transformation. You are the transformation. And so I know this for myself. I am the transformation. Yes, I've created modality. Yes, I've done learned a lot of other modalities, but it's my thinking, my lived experience, my leadership, that's not interchangeable. And this is what I want you to think about for yourself, because when somebody leads purely through a model, they sound like everyone else that's trained in that model or that modality. Okay? So if you are, uh, a naturopath and you use a specific metabolic metabolic balance. Process, and that's all that you say that you do, but then there's 10 other naturopaths that use that. Then how are you gonna differentiate yourself? Right? If you are a remedial massage therapist, but there's 5,000 other remedial massage therapist, how are you going to differentiate yourself if you are a coach that helps people overcome stress and anxiety using NLP or hypnosis? There's hundreds, thousands of people who also do that. How are you going to differentiate yourself? And so that's when we get stuck in that space. That's when we start inviting comparison to bang around in our own mind. And comparison creates insecurity. And insecurity keeps people small. And so. I've realized that this is something that I just don't identify with anymore, right? I don't identify with being the title of something, identify with results, and I'm really clear about who I get results for and how my lived experience is proof that I know how to get those results. And so. This is the thing that this thinking really changed what happens for me in business and the rooms that I'm invited into and the stages that I'm on, and the response that I get when I'm speaking. Because I stopped asking, am I qualifi qualified enough? Do I belong? Will they accept me? And instead, I started thinking about what is it that I've built for myself? What have I embodied? What problems have I demonstrated that I solve? Because, you know, the thing is, I didn't go to university. I didn't even finish high school. Uh, I have invested in myself relentlessly since then. I've studied, I've applied, I've refined my thinking. I've built real outcomes for myself and my own life and my clients. Right. I've done all those things. That's the authority. My lived experience is that authority and authority is accumulated. Right, and then activated through your visibility. So speaking and being invited to speak in Bali wasn't just luck, right? It wasn't just luck. It was the result of years of thinking like someone who belongs, who is. Open for those types of opportunities who I feel like I have something to contribute in those rooms. And this is why as well. If you are really SAT focused in that, you are the best person at that modality that you've learned. So if you are the best NLP practitioner, if you are the best massage therapist, if you are the best hypnotherapist, if you are the best naturopath. You can't build impact from just knowing to yourself that you are really good at it. You can't be the world's best kept secret at what it is that you do. And that was something that I definitely thought when I first started coaching was that if I can just be the best coach and I can just, you know, it wasn't enough to be a practitioner, then I'll be a master practitioner, and then I'll be a trainer and I'll be a master trainer. And I was like, every time I'm just like, yeah, I'm gonna be the best at this, the best, best at this. And then everyone's gonna come flocking. Well, they don't. You can't be the world's best kept secret. You can't be the person who's just delivering, uh, that modality as it's taught. You need to be able to lead and share your message as a story of transformation, as a way that people can understand what is the real impact of the work that you do. You can't create bigger opportunities if you are still shrinking your voice. And you know, the thing is when you think about who it is that you want to attract, if you are just talking about the problems that you can solve with a particular modality, then all you're gonna attract is people that wanna be stuck in their problems and keep looking for a way to solve their problems. What you want is people who want solutions, people who want transformation. And so this is what you need to be demonstrating and thinking about and talking about is what is your, your thought leadership around how you create transformation, how you've created it for yourself, how you've created it for other people, not just talking about the process, not just talking about the problems. And so you need to show up then as that message, right? That's how you show up about that message. So when I speak, when I'm invited to speak, I'm not there just to talk about the process that I created. So yes, I created the turning point. It's an incredible process. It makes huge differences to people, but it's the results that matter. It's the transformation that matters. It's that I can demonstrate that transformation. So when I'm sharing my story, and my point is in my story, not to enroll people into how terrible my past was or how big my problems were. But it's to demonstrate that I've had challenges and I've learned to overcome them, and this is what I've now created for my life. Okay, so for me, I work with a lot of coaches and wellbeing practitioners as their business and mindset coach, and I help them create businesses that they feel supported in. Right, so that they can have a lifestyle that they love that's supported by their business and their business supports them in doing the work that they love to do, and getting paid for how they wanna be paid, and helping the people that they love to be helping without being burnt out, without having to hustle 24 7 without feeling like, you know, that their, their whole life revolves around their business. And so I can tell the story of how I've created that for myself. I can tell the story of why I got into coaching and personal development. Okay? I didn't have a great childhood, but I don't wanna sit here and enroll you in my story about my childhood. I want you to know that I have been able to transform that into creating a life that I love, okay? I used to struggle in my business. When I first started my business. I used to work flat out. I was doing everything for everybody. I was hustling flat out, I was getting burnt out and not getting paid enough for what I was doing. But I don't wanna enroll you into that story. I, I want you to know that I know how to solve that problem. And so now I've created for myself a life where I'm client facing three days a week. I don't start wait till 10 o'clock in the morning so that I can do the things that I wanna do for my health and wellbeing and my household. Right. I travel, I get to speak. I get to connect with amazing people all around the world. I get to work with amazing clients. I get to do all these things and have a life that I love, and that's what I want to demonstrate. That's what I want you to know is possible, right? Once you know that that's possible, yes, then I'll show you how to do it and how to get there. But I'm not gonna sit there and bang on about the whole steps of that. Without demonstrating what's possible, right? What is the message? So for me, demonstrating that outcome is showing the confidence that I have, the clarity that I have, the expansion, the structure, the global connections, the opportunities. That's what the outcome is. And that's the transformation. That's what I want to inspire people to be able to create for themselves, because I truly believe that business is an amazing vehicle that you can use to create the life that you want while making the impact that you wanna have in the world. That, that, that requires personal evolution. That's what I'm really passionate about, people doing. Business is just a vehicle. Ultimately, it's helping people evolve so that they live out their vision, their purpose. They make a positive impact in the world. Oh, living a life that they love. So this is the thing that I want you to think about for yourself and to step into this. The biggest lesson, like I said, that I, I realized in Bali that I have created for myself is that there is no club, okay? There is no club that you have to get permission to enter. There is no club that you are gonna get a special key ring or stamp on the back of your hand that says you now have access to. There are just people who decide to lead. There are just people who desire to make an impact, who desire to share things that are valuable, who decide to demonstrate what they've been able to create for themselves. And everyone has got different stories, different backgrounds, different pathways of getting there, and everyone has equal opportunity, right? The difference is the identity that you choose for yourself. You get to create it. And so when I decided who I was becoming, then the rooms just naturally started expanding and I get more and more opportunities and invites to speak because I choose to be that person. And so when I stopped hiding behind the process and started embodying the outcome, that's where the opportunity is multiplied. And so this is what I want you to think about for you. If you keep doing your business as you've been doing it, focusing on the modality or the service that you provide and you don't look closely at, what is it that makes you different? And focus on those results. You'll be forever caught up in the model of doing it the same as everybody else and feeling like there's competition and that everybody's your competition and they're not right. You are the perfect match in your perfect experience of life and story for your ideal clients, but you need to be willing to demonstrate that you need to be willing to share that message. You need to be willing to see yourself as the messenger. Okay. You know, this is one of the things that I, one of the big shifts that I had as well was when I realized that judging myself was actually not me judging myself, but ju judging something much bigger than me because I didn't create myself. I'm not the creator. Yes, I get to create through this version of myself. Okay. But judging me is like saying, um, yeah, the universe didn't really know what they do were doing and they created me. Who am I to judged the universe, oh God. Or whatever other, you know, power you believe there is. You are much greater and have been created by something much greater than your contained human version of what you think you are. And so really when we start to think about it from that space, the fact that you are here in the world and you've had these experiences and you've created these results, and you've done this much learning, you've had so much experience and knowledge and wisdom imparted on you, who are you not to share that in your own unique way? That's where real impact happens. Now, this is why your story really matters, and again, not because we wanna enroll people into old hard luck stories, but to show people the transformation that's possible, to show people the unique way that you think about things that how you get. Results. Now, if you feel like, yes, that sounds like what I need to do, but you're not sure exactly how to do that, then I've got a couple of spots open where you can discuss this with me and I can show you the pathway where we can go really deep into looking at what is your unique offering and how do you position that in the world and look. If you want to go further down that path and really look at how do you position at a higher level, writing books, speaking, doing all those things, it's definitely something that I can help you with. But right now, take that first step. Really look at that. What is your message? If you need support, reach out. I'm here. I've got the pathway, and I wanna see you help more people. Don't be the world's best kept secret. Reach out. Send me an email. Tony, Tony Everard, DM me on Instagram, LinkedIn, Facebook, wherever you are. And, uh, let's get you seen, heard, and making a difference. Because your lived experience is the value. Your perspective is the asset, right? Your evolution is the authority, and you're gonna keep growing. You are going to keep growing. If you keep putting your modality first, you are gonna stay comparable to every other person who's doing that same thing. If you put yourself forward, has that embodied result, you're committed to continued growth and evolution. You become magnetic, right? You become magnetic. That's when doors start opening for you. People want what you've got. Okay, so if you're ready for this, stepping into bigger rooms, physically, professionally, financially, it starts the same way that it started for me. You decide, you stop waiting, you stop hiding. You stop waiting for that stamp of approval. You stop leading with whatever modality it is that you've learned, and you become the message. For today, take action. Reach out, make the change. That's what 2026 is for. I'll speak to you soon. If you love this episode, you can help me get the message out to more people. Simply leave a review and share this episode with someone who'd love to hear it. Thanks for tuning into the Coaching Circle. I'll catch you in the next episode.