Ep 149: Toni Everard - TTPP Part 3 - The Business You Build Depends on What You Believe You Deserve

There are things you've been settling for...

For so long...

They've started to feel normal.

Lower prices than you know you're worth.

Clients who don't respect your boundaries.

Holding back your voice.

Second-guessing your decisions.

Working harder instead of receiving more.

And somewhere along the way...

You stopped questioning whether this was all you were allowed to have.

But what if your business has never been limited by your strategy?

What if it's simply been reflecting what you've believed you deserve?

In Part 3 of the five-part The Turning Point Process™ (TTPP) series, Toni Everard explores the third step of the framework: Reclaim.

Building on the first two episodes around validation and release, Toni reveals why transformation doesn't end with letting go of the past. The next step is reclaiming what was always yours—your worth, your voice, your power, your boundaries, and your ability to receive.

Because the business you're building will always mirror the identity you're operating from.

You'll discover why so many entrepreneurs continue to undercharge, overwork, tolerate difficult clients, stay invisible, or struggle to grow—not because they aren't capable, but because part of them still believes they're not deserving of more.

This episode explores:

• why your business reflects what your nervous system believes is safe to receive

• the third step of The Turning Point Process™: Reclaim

• how childhood conditioning quietly creates the invisible ceiling on your income, success and impact

• why strategy alone can't outgrow an identity that doesn't believe it's worthy

• how reclaiming your worth changes your pricing, boundaries, leadership and decision-making

• why powerful business owners stop abandoning themselves to keep other people comfortable

• how believing you deserve support, respect, success and abundance changes everything you create

• why your next level begins the moment you stop settling for what feels familiar

If you've ever felt like you're working harder than everyone else but still holding yourself back...

This episode will help you understand why.

Because you don't build the business you dream about.

You build the business you believe you're allowed to have.

And everything changes when you finally reclaim what you've deserved all along.

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If you’d love to dive deeper into Toni’s emotional freedom work, you can pre-order your copy here: The Turning Point Book

Links and Resources:

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Transcript

Ep 149 TTPP Part 3: The Business You Build Depends on What You Believe You Deserve
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[00:00:00] Welcome back for part three of the Turning Point series on, uh, the Coaching Circle. And, uh, if you haven't listened to the last two parts, I would definitely go back and have a listen to those as well, because in part one, we talked about the first step in the turning point. Of course, the turning point process is the process that I've created that is getting incredible results with helping people shift and, uh, really become more expressed, more fully expressed in who they actually are.

And this is such an important part of business, because business is the vehicle that allows you to create in your life. It allows you to create your lifestyle, money, time freedom. It allows you to create impact and legacy and, and to really influence the world in the way that you want. But to be able to fully utilize the vehicle that is business, you have [00:01:00] to become fully expressed in yourself.

And this is why business is, is- So such a, a trigger for so many people's personal stuff. Like, it brings up our own stuff and, and shows us really where we need to, um, become more of who we are, step more into our power and authority to be able to utilize business i- you know, in the most effective way rather than having business just be something else that becomes a big drain on us, and this is often what I see with people.

And so business is really about becoming better, getting better at business, g- getting better at being express, getting better at being, at being able to create what it is that you say that you want. So part one, we talked about, uh, validate, right? And really being a- able to understand what actually happened within us.

What is it going on in those really deep levels of us where, you know, there was no doubt some kind of emotional events [00:02:00] that happened in childhood because it doesn't matter how good, bad, otherwise you think your parents were, there will be... If you're struggling with anything now, it's because there's something undeveloped from childhood within you, and so you have to be able to re-parent yourself as an adult.

And so the first step is validating, is really going and, and recognize what were those things that happened? You know, what was that, that feeling that you had that has stayed with you all of your life because it never got validated, like it never was truly understood? And when we have things like that are never fully validated and understood, they become part of our identity.

So, um, uh, and this is why I see so many people get stuck and having done years of work and never being able to shift their things because this is what's been missing. So, you know, I shared the analogy last, in the last episode about you, it's like having a backpack where you're carrying all this extra weight.

And validate, this first step, is looking in that [00:03:00] backpack and seeing what's actually there, and recognizing that it wasn't your stuff to carry. And then part two is release, and that's where we recognize what it is that we've h- been carrying and recognizing that we can now be free from carrying that because usually the stuff we're carrying is these, you know, illusions of responsibility that we have to hold for other people, whether it's their emotions, their thoughts, their beliefs, their, you know, what they think, their expectations.

And once we stop carrying that stuff- There's a really powerful place that opens up, and that is for step three, and that is where we get to reclaim. Um, and we get to reclaim what we were always deserving to have received from the start. Um, and so this is where we can start meeting our own needs. And so, you know, most people [00:04:00] that have got something happening that they can't seem to resolve are, are unconsciously feeling like they're not deserving of something, right?

If there's some kind of a gap and there's something that you're not able to create for yourself, it's usually linked to feeling like you're not deserving of having received something because you weren't given it to start with. You weren't given it when you needed it, as usually as, like a young child.

And so when we talk about deserving, it's, it's not from an entitlement perspective. It's from... Or, or, you know, anything that is like, um- You know, somehow taking away from anyone else, none of that, right? It's, it's what we learned to expect from how we were treated and how we interacted with people at when we were really young.

And, uh, and if, you know, we learn through those experiences of what [00:05:00] is actually available to us, um, what we're allowed to receive. And, um, if that has been, um it's, it's somehow... Anything-- Let me put it this way, anything that you believe that is limiting you from, uh, receiving unconditional love, emotional safety, belonging, acceptance, um, you know, the power to create what it is that you want in your life.

Um, anything that is, uh, separates you from the truth of what you're, you're deserving of having as a human being in the world is, uh, is the, is-- it's an illusion. We have to understand that it's an illusion, but we don't know that if we haven't been taught that we are deserving of it as a child, and that's meant to be the adult's [00:06:00] responsibility when we are young, is that they show us that we are deserving of unconditional love and emotional safety and belonging and acceptance and all of those kinds of things.

But instead, what we learn is that if I behave in a certain way that someone doesn't like, those things may be taken from me, right? I may be disconnected. I may be sent to my room. I may be, um, you know, told to stop crying. I may be, you know, told that whatever it is that I want isn't important. And so we learn that we're not deserving of these core things, um, that w- as the truth is that we are deserving of And those things is what becomes our invisible ceiling when we become adults, and especially when we're in business.

And so, you know, the level of income or the level of love or, or of attention, being [00:07:00] seen, um, you know, success, support, health, happiness, all of those things, the level of what feels normal or what feels acceptable is all been conditioned, right? It's... And it's all unconsciously at a level that will feel familiar to you, uh, and it's not the same as what's actually possible.

It's not the same as what's actually available to you. So we will continue to create situations and create stories in our own mind, and create businesses that match what seems familiar into what level we feel we are allowed to have, right? So that's really important, and this is why I always say that business will grow to the extent that you do.

Your business will not outgrow what you feel you're allowed to have [00:08:00] access to. And this is where I see people, you know, trying, you know, throwing money at ads or trying the next marketing strategy or another funnel or all of these kinds of things, thinking that that's what's going to be the outcome. But really, their business is just reflecting their current identity.

And so if you're not able to create those things in your business and, and receive what it is that you want to have, then throwing money at something else that's gonna somehow do that for you isn't gonna work. We have to get to the point in our own development where we fully believe that we are deserving of having premium clients who are great to work with, that we're deserving of having support, uh, rest, success, that we're deserving of being paid well.

Right? And [00:09:00] being seen. Um, having a team even, and being respected, right? Because all of those things, when you believe that you, uh, deserve to have them, they make you a lot more powerful. And many people have been conditioned to be less than the full power of who they are because a lot of parents don't know how to parent powerful children.

And so what they learn and what they've... how they were parented was to, you know, condition you in a way to make you feel powerless, because it's much easier to control someone who feels powerless. Um, and so we've got to be able to reclaim our own power and what it is that we deserve to have and receive so that we can actually create it in our lives.

And so this is what reclaim is really about. It's like, okay, I validated how I felt when, you know, whatever happened when I was young and, and that left [00:10:00] me with this feeling that I've been forever trying to protect or avoid, uh, getting triggered. Um, we've realized what, that, that's, we've been carrying that we don't need to carry anymore.

We can put it down. And then we look at, okay, what is it I reclaim for myself? What is the resources that I reclaim for myself? And it's not about becoming someone new, as I said, it's remembering who you were before that survival pattern became your identity And, uh, and so it's, you know, really recognizing that and reclaiming for ourselves rather than waiting and hoping and expecting somebody else to give it to us, because they- it's not anybody else's responsibility, right?

As a child, it's your parents' responsibility to show you what you're deserving of, but they don't always get it right because they don't always know what they're deserving of themselves. So [00:11:00] as adults, we have to be able to do the work to reclaim and decide what it is that we are deserving of, so that we are aligned and a match for what we wanna create for ourselves.

So we gotta think about that, right? What have you been settling for in your business? Um, because you'll tend to settle for the things that feel safe, right? The things that feel safe and aligned with what you learned, um, when you were young of what was safe for you to have. Uh, and so, you know, if you've been settling for, um, you know, charging lower prices, or if you've been settling for dealing with really difficult clients that don't respect boundaries and don't, you know, take responsibility for themselves or, you know, if you've been settling for unhealthy relationships, um, you know, lack of boundaries in your own personal relationships, or if you've been overworking, um, if you've been saying yes to things when you wanna say no, or if you've been [00:12:00] saying nothing when you really wanna say something, you know, you've gotta understand that and recognize that it's all from a level of what you feel you've been deserving of.

Um, and it's not because you want those things, but it feels like that's the sort of unsaid rules around what you're allowed, um, and that is aligned with the identity that you've had. And so, you know, I know for me, again, these are things that I've had to work through for myself and, and really, you know, understand for myself that for number one, like I am someone who deserves support.

And you know, I, I really noticed this happened even in the quality of support that I had. Um, when I sh- really become aligned with, yes, I deserve to have respo- uh, support, the, the quality of the people that were working with me in my business upleveled Right? This is really [00:13:00] important. Um, you know, I was able to step out of that good girl role and, and disappoint some people.

And, and I don't mean I disappointed people because I did anything to them. Um, I disappointed people because I stopped abandoning myself, and some of the peoples, like, who were in my life, that, that they relied on the fact that I would abandon myself for their benefit. Um, and when I stopped doing that, yeah, there were some people that were disappointed, and you know what?

It wasn't my problem. It was not my problem. If, if people require me to be less of myself to serve their needs, then sorry, you're gonna be disappointed, and you're gonna have to deal with that yourself. Um, and this is the things we've gotta think about this, right? Um, I was able to charge much differently.

I was able to create the stronger boundaries. Like, I'm very clear with who I work with now. [00:14:00] Um, I don't work with people... If someone wants to work with me, but they're not taking responsibility for themselves and they're trying to tell me how I need to work with them and b- being pushy and, and not open to listening and stuff, I'm like, "Sorry, my services aren't, aren't suitable for you."

Like, you need to step up to a certain level if you wanna get my access because, like, access to me, 'cause I value who I am, what I do, what I... how I can help people. Um, and I get to say what access you get and how you get ac- you know, how you act in that space. Um, I'm not stepping down to someone else's level, right?

To make them feel more comfortable. They've gotta step up to my level, and this is the real thing about boundaries that you have to understand for yourself and what you're deserving of, is that, yes, you're deserving of deciding where... How do people get access to you, right? What do they have to [00:15:00] be doing or paying or saying or a- or acting to get access to you?

You don't have to drop your boundaries to where they're at if it's gonna be a worse deal for you Uh, and so, you know, this is all comes back to really being able to recognize what it is that you're deserving of. And the thing is, once you recognize what you're deserving of, it doesn't mean that no one will ever try to challenge you again.

They will. People will. But what it does mean is that you will know they don't have a right to. And when I say they don't have a right to, it's like they don't have a right to make you feel bad in any way, right? People don't have a right to cross your boundaries and make you feel bad, right? People don't have a right to try to manipulate you.

They don't have a right to. So that means that you know what you're deserving of, you can flip the script, and it's like, "I know what I'm deserving of, [00:16:00] and if you're gonna act like that, then you're gonna n- you're the one who's gonna need to be worried about how I'm going to feel about you, 'cause you won't get access to me."

Um, and you know, this is the shift in power back in, back into yourself Um, and so, you know, when we do really reclaim these things and realize what we are deserving of, it becomes much easier and, and natural to make strong decisions in your business, to make decisions quickly and, and know what the right decision is for you.

Um, it becomes easier for you to ask different questions and ask the questions that are going to reveal the information that you're gonna make a decision from. Uh, it makes it really easier for you to decide what you'll tolerate and what you won't tolerate. Um, it becomes easier for you to know that you can expect more, that you're deserving of more.[00:17:00] 

Uh, you'll commu- you'll communicate differently. You know, a big thing that I recognize with my clients, and I talk to them a lot about, is that in your marketing, if you're trying to soften your message all the time, it's because y- uh, it'll be because part of this problem is that you think you've got to worry about what everyone else thinks, right?

But you don't. You want to-- People are going to wanna work with you because you lead with conviction and certainty. So, you know, having certainty in your message comes from believing that you deserve to have your own opinion, right? That you deserve to have your own voice, that you deserve to, you know, own the way you see the world.

Um, and that will come through in your marketing and how you communicate with people, right? Makes a big difference. Um, it becomes a lot easier to hold your own boundaries. So much easier to hold your own boundaries when you realize what you're [00:18:00] deserving of. Um, you'll invest in yourself differently, right?

You-- When you understand what you're deserving of... Like, I always say that people who just want support to feel a little bit better are, are going to not wanna spend a lot of money, and they're gonna want a lot of your time, and they're gonna be hard work. However, people who, uh, value their potential and the results that they want and the results that they know that they can get will pay and invest in getting those results, and they'll take responsibility for getting them, right?

So people invest differently when you, you know, understand what it is you're deserving of, um, and what you believe you can create for yourself. And so, you know, i- it is deep work, and often the reason that people don't do this level of work is because they're worried about what they have to face, right?

What do I actually [00:19:00] have to face about the relationship with my parents or with whatever other people are in my life? But the thing is that the fear is just part of the old conditioning, right? Once you do this deep work, you realize that within your own power, it's so much easier to be able to deal with whoever it is, and there is no problem, right?

There is no problem. There's no problem for you especially because you realize that you can get your needs met, and they're not... Your needs are no longer dependent on any one person who wants to limit you for their own benefit, right? You can get your needs met wherever. Um, and so everything changes then in your identity So I really want you to think about this for today, and think about your own business and your own life ar- around where have you been settling?

Where have you been settling because or accepting less than you actually want because there's part of you that's felt like you weren't really deserving or that you weren't allowed or [00:20:00] you didn't have permission. And, and think about what would actually change if you genuinely believe that you deserved to be respected and to be supported and to be well-paid and to be heard and to be valued, and that you had just as much right as anybody else, because you do.

Um, that's really important. And so, you know, think about that for yourself. And of course, The Turning Point book, if you wanna order a copy, it's-- you'll find the link in the show notes. Um, you will, uh, also find, um, details about the book launch, which is on the 12th of August. Um, and, uh, I'm currently in Vietnam, so by the magic of systems, this podcast is coming to you this week while I'm in Vietnam.

Uh, and, uh... but you will, um, see that all the details are there in the show notes. Reach out to me if you need any help. Order a [00:21:00] copy of the book, um, and save the date for the, uh, book launch on the 12th of August. And also, if you're keen on learning The Turning Point, there's gonna be a training on the 25th and 26th of September.

Reach out to me about that as well. And, you know, as we wrap up today, right? Think about this: the business that you're building isn't limited, right? You have infinite potential, and y- it's only limited by what your nervous system believes you're safe to receive. And so this is why reclaiming what you're actually deserving of matters so much because that's where you start re-parenting yourself and meeting your own unmet needs and become much more powerful in being able to create that for yourself rather than forever looking outside for your-- of yourself for, you know, m- support from [00:22:00] people who, who just can't give that to you.

You have to give it to yourself first. Once you reclaim and you understand what you deserve in yourself, it's easy to be able to have the outside world reflect that and to you to get the-- to receive and, and, and get the support that you truly deserve Okay. So, that is the wrap up for part three of the Turning Point Process series, Building the Business That You Believe You Deserve.

And, uh, tune in next week for part four, um, where we will be going into, you know, just how good can you allow your business to feel