Ep 150: Toni Everard - TTPP Part 4 - How Good Can You Allow Your Business to Feel

There are feelings you've been postponing...

For so long...

You've convinced yourself they'll come later.

When the business grows.

When the money arrives.

When you finally feel successful enough.

Peace.

Ease.

Freedom.

Support.

Joy.

Confidence.

Space to breathe.

And somewhere along the way...

You started believing those feelings had to be earned.

That you had to work harder before you were allowed to experience them.

But what if those feelings were never meant to be the reward?

What if they were always meant to be the starting point?

In Part 4 of the five-part The Turning Point Process™ (TTPP) series, Toni Everard explores the fourth step of the framework: Embody.

After validating where your patterns began, releasing what was never yours to carry, and reclaiming what you've always deserved...

The next question becomes:

How good can you allow your business to feel?

Because your business will always reflect the emotional state your nervous system believes is safe.

If peace doesn't feel safe...

You'll unknowingly create chaos.

If support doesn't feel safe...

You'll keep doing everything yourself.

If ease feels unfamiliar...

You'll keep making success harder than it needs to be.

This episode explores:

• why every business goal is really driven by the emotion you believe it will give you

• the fourth step of The Turning Point Process™: Embody

• how your nervous system determines what success you're willing to receive

• why strategy becomes easier when your emotions are aligned with the life you're creating

• how old emotional patterns quietly keep you chasing goals while resisting the feelings they require

• why peace, joy, confidence, freedom and abundance are not things you earn, but emotions you learn to safely hold

• how allowing yourself to feel supported changes the way you lead, grow and make decisions

• why your business isn't here to teach you how to earn success, but how to receive it

If you've ever reached a goal...

Only to find yourself immediately chasing the next one...

Or wondered why success still feels heavy...

This episode will change the way you think about growth.

Because the life you're building isn't waiting on another strategy.

It's waiting for you to believe you're allowed to feel the very things you've been working so hard to create.

And everything changes when you stop delaying the feelings your business has been inviting you to experience all along.

🔗 Let’s Connect

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If you’d love to dive deeper into Toni’s emotional freedom work, you can pre-order your copy here: The Turning Point Book

Links and Resources:

🔹 The Turning Point Book

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Transcript

Ep 150 TTPP Part 4: How Good Can You Allow Your Business to Feel?
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[00:00:00] Welcome to this episode of the Coaching Circle, which is actually part four of the five part, uh, Turning Point Process series. And, uh, so you-- if you've been following along, you'll know over the last, uh, three episodes, we've gone through the first three steps of the Turning Point Process. And of course, the Turning Point Process is, uh, what I created after, you know, spending ten years coaching and training and, uh, and really understand deeply how people behave and, and not just how they behave, but what, what is the structure underneath about why people do what they do or why people don't do what they want to do.

And, uh, and, you know, why is it some people, you know, get stuck and, and after doing all the work, still have something that they can't shift? And so the Turning Point Process is what I created that has made a huge impact in [00:01:00] this space. And, uh, and so yeah, the first, you know, the first three steps that we've already gone through is step one is validate, right?

Which is really understanding those patterns and where they started and why it was you felt the way that you, you did. Because anything that's showing up in your business is all got to do with how you feel. Whether you do things or don't do things have all got to do with how you feel. And so many people are protecting old emotional wounds that have never been fully resolved, and they've never been fully resolved because they've never felt fully understood, right?

They've never been fully validated. And so the first step is always to validate, you know, where those feelings came from. Like, how do you actually feel, right, at a really deep unconscious level? And then the second step, release, is how you get to understand that, you know, the things that you were feeling were never yours to [00:02:00] carry anyway, and that you can release them, right?

You can-- What are the things that you can stop carrying? And then the third step was reclaim. And, you know, once we've done those other two steps, what we st- start doing is we have space to recognize what it was we deserved to receive that would've led to us feeling whole and loved and safe and belonging and accepted and acknowledged and valued, and all of those things that we're meant to, uh, be able to feel as children to grow into healthy adults.

Um, and so step four is really then looking at what could we now feel? What, what could we allow ourselves to feel now that we've let go of all that other stuff and we've recognized what we actually deserve? And this is a big step, and it's really, really important because the thing is, once you let go of, you know, those old negative feelings that have [00:03:00] been trapped in your mind, that have been driving all of these behaviors or things that you've been avoiding- It's not like there's just a big empty space, right?

Because we know nature abhors a vacuum. Uh, and so once we've released the old fears and all that old negative stuff that's been in the way, then we've got a space to be able to fill with positive emotions. And the thing is that we have to understand is that those positive feelings are actually the truth of who we are.

And so when I take people through this process, I see very, very similar patterns of what do people now feel like they can feel instead of those old negative feelings, and they're very high vibrational. And so if you've ever, um, read any of the work by Dr. David Hawkins, he's got a- some great books, Power Versus Force.

He talks about the map of consciousness, which is, is essentially, uh, a [00:04:00] scale of how you can measure the frequency of different emotions. And so right down the bottom of the scale, you have things like shame and guilt and fear and all those kinds of things, and those emotions vibrate at a very low level, and they're in the, um, they're in the contraction.

And so what that means is that they're, they're negative, as in if you're around someone who's in that vibration, it will feel draining because they... it, it contracts in. They draw in and, and so you'll be felt... you'll feel like you're getting drawn down with them. However, when we go further up the scale, we get to the tipping point of courage, and anything above courage, we start going into, you know, happiness and joy and freedom and enlightenment.

They're all much higher frequency feelings, and they're expansive. And so that means when you're around someone who are in those higher frequencies, then you will feel more positive, like you will feel more energized. [00:05:00] And they are the, um, frequencies that are the truth of who we are, and anything else is just like, um, if you think about the metaphor of a cork, you have to hold a cork underwater, right?

You have to drag it down because left to its own devices, it will naturally pop up to the surface. Um, and that's the same as people and our states and emotions. So in your natural state, like without anything dragging you down, you will naturally pop up to those higher feeling, uh, higher frequency feelings.

And so this is really important to understand because everything that we do is driven by how we think it's gonna feel. So when we think about in business, if we think that we want, um, you know, more money, for example, what w- actually it is, is we want to feel the feelings of what we think more money will give us.

And so generally, more money we [00:06:00] think will give us, like, greater security or more freedom or greater peace and ease and choice, uh, and all of those things. But if you don't feel like you can feel those emotions because you can't hold contradictory emotions at the same time, so you can't hold a lot of fear and shame and, and hold, um, joy and peace and, uh, and safety at the same time, right?

And this is why it becomes so hard for people to be able to achieve their goals when they're holding onto these old negative frequencies because they're not a match for what you say that you want. And so another example is if you say you want to have more clients, well, chances are what you really want is to feel, you know, more like, uh, like you're contributing or having more certainty or more, you know, feeling confident, um, and feeling like, you know, you've got greater [00:07:00] value.

Like, there's the, it, it, that there's joy and excitement in what you're doing in the world, right? But again, if you're, you're holding onto some old negative emotions that's keeping that frequency down, then you're not gonna be driven to getting those more clients because you're not a match to feeling what that's gonna feel like for you It's the same as if, you know, someone's saying that they wanna have a successful business, um, what they really wanna feel is, you know, that feeling of fulfillment, and joy, and excitement, and spaciousness, and pride, and peace, and all those kinds of things.

Um, and again, if you're not in a space where you can hold those emotions because you're holding onto the negative ones, it won't be a match, and so you won't be able to create that for yourself. And so, you know, this is where there's the, the paradox, is that if your nervous system doesn't believe it's safe to feel those emotions because it's too busy holding onto the negative [00:08:00] ones, you won't create the circumstances that require you to feel those, uh, those positive emotions, right?

And this is why people sabotage themselves. It's not because, you know, they don't want success, but because they're gonna continuously do behaviors that match the feeling that they c- most consistently hold, right? So if you aren't willing to, uh, or haven't worked out yet how to safely let go of those old negative things, then you're not gonna be able to hold the high enough frequency to create, um, outcomes that match them, right?

So this is really important, is that we have to understand that your... Our goals are emotional, right? Creating a business that really supports you and gives you the time freedom, money freedom, like, you know, level of contribution and impact that you want, uh, it, it's only gonna happen when you are open to feeling the emotions that match [00:09:00] those outcomes, right?

So this is important, that every goal has an emotional driver. It has an emotional frequency. It has an emotional match. And so we're not chasing the goals. Essentially, we're chasing the emotions. Like, that's what we wanna have. And so if you don't feel like you have access to those emotions ongoing, you'll feel like you don't have access to the outcome, and, and that is the trap that keeps people a lot of...

Uh, like keeps people stuck. And so business is, is simply the vehicle, right? Business is the vehicle. So, you know, I want you to think for yourself. What is it that you... What feeling are you hoping your business will give you? If you have a particular money goal, or if you have a particular amount of clients or whatever, what is the feeling that you think that will give you?

Is it freedom? Is it peace? [00:10:00] Is it joy? Is it love? Is it connection? Is it contribution? Is it ease? Right? What is it? Because, you know, it- it's the same as, um- If you feel like, oh, you're having trouble putting structure in your business, I can guarantee you it's because you don't feel like it's safe for you to feel supported and, uh, and feel at ease, right?

Because you won't create something that you don't feel safe having, or you don't feel like you're allowed to have, or you don't seem- you don't feel like you have access to it. And so embodiment in this step four is, is being able to choose those feelings and then become... have those feelings become the North Star.

Okay? So if it's, uh, freedom that you're wanting to experience, then you have [00:11:00] to be able to feel like, "Yes, that is what I want access to. That is what I feel like, yes, I have access to, and I want to feel more of it." Right? That's what will drive you to do the behaviors that is gonna match that Um, if you want more peace, if you want more happiness or more spaciousness, then it needs to be something that you feel like you have access to, and that you're going to be driven to do more things that are gonna give you more access to that or are going to give you more of that feeling.

Um, and so i- it's, it's not just that you have to feel it all before you have it, but you have to believe that it's okay for you to feel it, and that you have access to feeling it because feeling that, like, permission that you give yourself or that, um, connection that you give yourself to feeling those emotions is [00:12:00] what will drive your behavior to do the things that are gonna match that.

So otherwise, you know, we're going to do the behaviors that match how we predominantly feel. And, you know, I see this with people as well, like, um, you know, if you've got any behaviors that you're not proud of, so, you know, if there's behaviors around drinking or eating or, you know, not exercising like you say you were, or any kind of behaviors, not doing f- following through.

Any kind of behaviors that you're doing that you know aren't behaviors you wanna be doing and are, are causing you some kind of negative feeling, I can guarantee you it's not the behavior that's causing the negative feeling, it's that you have the negative feeling and so you'll consistently do behaviors that match that feeling, right?

That's what happens. So if we want to have a different outcome, we have to give ourselves access and believe we have access to feeling the positive [00:13:00] feelings that will be a match for those behaviors and those outcomes, right? And we can only get access to those emotions once we've gone through the step one and two and three in being able to really recognize what is that negative stuff that's been there, um, getting...

feeling really understood about why you ever felt that to start with, being able to release it and understanding that it's not yours to carry and it never has been, and then being able to reclaim what it is you're actually deserving of, um, and that's when we can start embodying these positive feelings.

And, uh, and then we can feel safe in allowing ourself to experience things like joy and peace and confidence and love and abundance and spaciousness, um, without waiting for permission, right? And then it becomes an easy pathway. Like everything... This is when the strategy starts becoming really, like it makes sense because you [00:14:00] have a connection to that feeling.

You can work things out. There's a pathway between where you are and how you wanna feel, and that's when we can work out all the logic things a lot, lot easier. And so- This is when business starts feeling really different, right? This is when we start getting the bigger results Um, and this is where we start allowing ourselves ease and success.

Um, and that suddenly we can just work things out. Suddenly things don't seem as hard because we're s- we get rid of the resistance, and we open up the clear pathways. And so, you know, I want you to think about this for yourself, right? And think about what are the things that you want to achieve in your business or through your business, and how will that actually allow you to feel?

So, you know, if you want [00:15:00] to, uh, have more clients in your business, and then think, "Okay, to have more clients, what do I need?" It might be, um, I need to have more structure. Right? I need to have more structure in my business. And then think about, okay, if I have more structure in my business, what would that allow me to feel?

Okay. It would allow me to feel like it's okay, that I can... I feel supported, and that I have ease, uh, and that it's safe for me to invite clients into that structure and for me to get paid because there is structure there. Okay, great. Does it feel like it's okay for you to be fully supported and to feel ease?

Um, and you know, you've gotta be really honest with yourself and look at it and go, "Is there anywhere in my life that I feel really supported and that it's okay for me to have ease?" Um, because that's gonna be the signpost. Um, and once you know that it is, and, um, and [00:16:00] you know, honestly, being okay with being supported and feeling ease comes from being, like, understanding the value in who you're being, not in who you're doing.

People that feel like their value is always in what they're doing, and they have to be doing something to feel like they're valued, will find it very hard to create structures that support them and to create ease. It- they're just not a match. Doing all the time and ease and support are not a match, and so you have to be really honest at looking at yourself clearly because there might be some levels of support or ease that you're open to having, like, to receiving, but are they the same levels as what's required for you to achieve the goals that you wanna say, that, that, that you say that you wanna have?

Right? That is the big difference, is really looking at that for yourself. Because, you know, if your nervous system believes those things [00:17:00] aren't a match for what's safe, then it's just gonna feel like you're forever pushing and pushing and pushing to try to, um, achieve what you wanna achieve, and it'll feel, always feel like stress and strain.

And that's when people start worrying about, thinking about they wanna give up, and we don't want that. Okay? So this is the thing, your business isn't here to teach you how to earn success. Your business is here to teach you how to receive it, right? Your business is here for you to be able to, to utilize that structure for you to be able to receive and feel safe in that, and to be able to be in control, and to be, you know, the power and authority in your own life around what's okay, how much rest you can have, how much money you can have, who the type of clients that you can work with, what is the impact that you're gonna make.

All of those things, your business is here as a structure to help you with that. Uh, you have to [00:18:00] decide and do the work to allow yourself to feel that. That is the big shift. And, uh, and next week we'll talk about ac- uh, activation and what actually happens for the next step, which the fifth step is the final step of the Turning Point process.

Uh, and so of course, the Turning Point process, you can order your copy of the book. Um, it is in the show notes. It's on my website. And, uh, and definitely the, uh, look at the details. You'll find all the details in there about the book launch as well on the 12th of August, Wednesday the 12th of August. Um, that is gonna be exciting.

I am just back from Vietnam now, so I'm gonna be sharing more about that as well. Um, but yeah, make sure you get your copy of the Turning Point book. Um, come along to the book launch on the 12th of August. It's gonna be a very special event. Um, and if you wanna learn the Turning Point [00:19:00] process for yourself, uh, and to really go deep in this work for yourself, um, the 25th and the 26th of September is when that is going live in Adelaide, and you can reach out to me for all of the details about that as well.

Uh, so that's it for today and step four of the Turning Point process. Tune in next week for step five, and I look forward to speaking to you then.