Title: The Radical Conscious Conception Journey – A Functional Approach to Infertility with Monica Cox and Pamela Wirth

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Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/finding-fertility/id1467058429

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:09

Hi, this is Pam Worth, and I am with the Hello Health Encourage and Wellness Podcast. And today I have Monica Cox. Monica, thank you so much for being with us today.

SPEAKER_00 0:18

Hi, thank you so much for having me and hosting this podcast. For me, podcast is how I got to where I am. So I just want to thank you for showing up and doing this for the community.

SPEAKER_01 0:29

Yeah. So your specialty, correct me if I'm wrong, is that you are helping people learn how to finally get pregnant when they've been trying everything.

SPEAKER_00 0:39

Yes. So I really hone in on your missing pieces, especially if you feel like you've done everything right and it quote unquote isn't working, even with medical assistance. I had my own personal journey with feeling like I did everything right. Like what more can I do? And just over the last 15 years, I've been able to really see the holes of what's not being looked at by conventional medicine, but also functional medicine as well.

SPEAKER_01 1:10

I love that. And I know, so my my journey started with my kiddo, who um I had to learn a lot about the gut brain access, what causes inflammation, how to reduce it. And obviously, you've got a lot here that you want to connect in terms of like gut fertility connections, cellular inflammation, um, subconscious blocks that no one might be talking about. So when someone comes to you and is like, I am at my wit's end, where where do you kind of start and want to take people through?

SPEAKER_00 1:40

Yeah, well, I want to start where they're at, to be honest, because everyone has a different place of where they're at, what they've done, what they believe that they've done. Um, so I really get to know them, where they're at physically, emotionally, spiritually, and how much they've done on the holistic side and the medical side. And then I can start seeing, okay, where the holes are. Um, so it's very specific to that person. I don't believe there's a one-size-fits-all diet, lifestyle, you know, nothing. We are all so different. I mean, yes, we have similar things and similar paths to go down. But when you really hone in on you, that's when the magic happens. That's when you can stop feeling like you're chasing the next fad of, and especially fertility, right? Like, like, trust me, I did it all. Um, but when you really focus on, okay, what do I need? And really the start is um to start following your own intuition and using your own discernment because we feel very disempowered and you know, we feel broken and we feel like we can't do it. And someone outside of us has all the answers. And the reality is you can really look back at your journey and say, you know what? I felt that was off. What that person said didn't fit for me, but I I listened anyways. You know, I have a perfect example that of that in my own story. I knew that I had an autoimmune issue, even though it was silent. And there was no research, there was no book that was saying this is what you had. But I found a book called Is Your Baby Body Friendly? It talked about immune testing. It really linked it to reoccurring miscarriages. And that wasn't my story, but I wasn't even seeing a pregnancy test ever in like almost five years. So I went to a clinic who was doing that testing because it's still pretty controversial now, but you know, back 10 years ago, it was very controversial. And the doctor talked me out of it, and I didn't listen. I like I didn't listen to my own intuition. We didn't do the testing. I did my second round of IVF. And even though we saw improvements, because I worked for a year to improve my gut health or really my whole, my whole health. Um I it failed. The IVF failed because I, when I demanded the testing after that failed IVF, there it was. Even though I was perfect, I was really healthy, I still had high enough elevated natural killer cells to affect implantation, um, even possibly a quality. And with the knowledge that I have now, I can look back and say my gut health was the root cause of my fertility issues. So much inflammation. And I was normal, right? I was the normal one with IBS, with, you know, maybe some diarrhea, constipation, you know, name it, brain fog, joint pain, PMS, you know, all those things. And after I got diagnosed with the high natural killer cells, luckily I was like neck deep and holistic healing. And the paleo mom had a blog at the time. And she's kind of, you know, Sarah's gifted as the like queen of the autoimmune. And I was like, well, if I have an autoimmune issue, because that's what natural killer cells is all about, then I need to hyperfocus on my gut. And once I did that and really discovered that even though I was perfect, I needed to go on an autoimmune paleo diet because I was just doing paleo before. I needed to add in bone broth. I needed to eat the organ meats. Um, that's when it all changed. That's when I saw the success.

SPEAKER_01 5:37

So, what is the difference between an autoimmune diet and a paleo diet? Yeah, a lot.

SPEAKER_00 5:45

Um, well, here's the thing. When it comes to diet, you can use, you know, these base diets, whole 30, paleo, autoimmune, as a basis of where you need to go. So with autoimmune, you're just more sensitive to things that are inside nuts, uh, the lectin, um, inside nightshades, the oxalates inside the spinach and kale. So all these healthy foods that I was eating, for me at that time, my gut health was so low, and I was still dealing with a lot of emotional issues that I didn't know affected the physical body, especially the gut for women, they were just causing to the inflammation. So it's not really looking at, well, what what fad diet, what diet did someone come up with? Because the autoimmune diet will kind of quote unquote work for everyone because you limit so much um that if you're so highly inflamed, you're gonna see results. But anyone, and I am sure everyone listening to this podcast, including yourself, knows that if you go on to of a restrictive diet for you at the time, you're not gonna stick to it. If I would have been told to go autoimmune paleo, even when I decided to go paleo three years into my journey, it would have been way too hard. It would have been so stressful. So sometimes like taking those baby steps, but I think the key to diet is you find your food intolerances that are acting, acting up right now. You eliminate those to the best of your ability. And then the missing piece for a lot of people is you bring in wide variety. You you get as much as you can off of the you know, shelves and the produce, and you bring that in where most diets I see now are so restrictive. They're like, well, this person, this person, that test, and that test told me I couldn't eat, you know, these things. So the only thing I want to eat is chicken, you know, and I'm like, okay. So when I um talk about diet to people, I have this thing called the on and off list. Okay, write what's off the table right now, but here is what's on the table. And even with an autoimmune paleo diet, you can see that there's a wide variety that you're just not used to, that you our conventional diets that we have are just so limited to what's actually out there.

SPEAKER_01 8:22

Yeah. So how long did it take? And and in our case, it took us about a year, year and a half to make the body uninflamed. In your case, how long did it take you to get your body uninflamed? And how did you test it and know that it was getting better? Was it that the symptoms went away, or was there like particular tests that you would do that would help understand you were going in the right direction?

SPEAKER_00 8:44

Yeah, so for me, it was really all symptoms. This was, I was living in the United Kingdom at the time. There wasn't very good testing um at all. So, you know, we're talking about 15 years ago. Um, and I think symptoms are the best way to watch because sometimes, well, I believe this is what testing is. It could be very supportive in the beginning, maybe, you know, different markers in the future, but testing is a snapshot of time. And it's actually of your past, not of your future. So it's looking back of what happened over the months, the years, the weeks, especially thyroid tests. So you have to be really careful of being like, oh, I got a bad test result. Well, what happened two weeks ago? What happened a month ago? Are you over that now? Are you dealing with that? So for me, it took way too long because I was piecing it all together, probably like a lot of people. I didn't have the right support. Um, but it was my IVF baby that I finally got pregnant with. That's when I know I radically healed my gut because one, I was doing finally doing the right things for myself physically. Um, on a fertility journey, I was pushed into ultimate surrender because I was pregnant, right? And I had my baby. So all that stress that comes with the fertility journey of figuring it out, feeling you got to do the right thing, showing up for appointments went away. Um and so during that time, that nine months, I also, which wasn't a good thing, but I didn't have the guidance and support and the knowledge that I have now, I was really strict because I thought, because I had a miscarriage before. And I thought that if I ate something that I was intolerant to, that I would miscarry again, even if it was like one. So I was really strict and really healthy. Um, so that just gave my myself time. I think most people, depending on their level, can do it within six months to a year with the right guidance and the right support. Um, the body is an innately amazing healer. The fact is, if you think about it, we would really all be dead if it wasn't trying to heal us 24-7. Um, so it's very strong. It can take a lot of, you know, punches in the face and a lot of things. Um, and your symptoms are your warning signs. I had a lot of warning signs, probably from the age of like 13, 14, maybe even I, you know, I got my tonsils out. I was always sick with, you know, things. I started having gut health issues. I was diagnosed with a sign of an ulcer, which happens to like grown men at the age of 19, I think I was. So there was a lot of red flags, but because I was thin, because I was achieving, I was working, I wasn't like sick in bed, none of my test results, with hindsight, I would love to see what my thyroid looked like and what you know, other things at the beginning. But because I wasn't working on a functional level and I just started healing the body, I don't, other than the high natural killer cells, I don't have a test to say, oh, here are my markers. And because that test was so expensive, it was like over 2,000 pounds. When I got pregnant naturally, I didn't need a test to tell me, oh, hey, your NK cells are low now. Like getting pregnant naturally, no immune suppressing drugs, that's enough evidence that I created to say, hey, this works. You can radically reverse these things.

SPEAKER_01 12:26

Yeah. So a couple more things. So one, um, any particular thoughts around any supplements or anything that you did in addition to food to help calm your gut?

SPEAKER_00 12:35

Not at the time. No. I mean, I think you had your basic ones that they, you know, talk about, but this was 15 years ago. I mean, the stuff that I recommend now, if women really just I say you can do this naturally with food. It's the most bioavailable, you know, source. Your body knows innately what to do it, especially the organ meat. You want to see your healing go through the roof, incorporate that into your diet. Now they do have great supplementation. Um, but I just didn't have it. It wasn't available to me. So everything was was natural. And I'm not against supplementation and I'm not even against medicine. Um, but I innately know that you know your body is asking you for something. Supplements, especially in the fertility journey, um are those tangible things. You feel like you're doing something. Um, so you want to make sure anytime you use supplementation that you're doing it with empowerment, not out of scarcity, not out of like, oh, if I don't take the supplement today, my chances are gone. Like that's not how it works.

SPEAKER_01 13:44

Yeah. More from a if if I don't feel like I can eat the things I need to eat to get the nutrition I need to get. Like, I mean, some people really don't like fish. And so they need to take like an algae algae, you know, or they've really organ meats. A lot of people can't cook it. They're just like, I'm not doing it. And so, you know, putting me supplement. Um, but it's super interesting. And then how do you help people through the anxiety and through the fear? Because that's a big part of this. Like, if you can literally like and it can turn your body in knots, you know.

SPEAKER_00 14:18

So this is the hardest thing. All of this is why I think functional medicine is um easy because us type A women are overachievers, you know, like we can we can gather all the evidence we can do, we can go, go, go, go. Where when you're dealing with the frequency of anxiety, when you get that buzz and you're just like, the only thing you can do for yourself is to pause and be radically honest. How am I showing up right now? Because the issue is not in the doing. You still have to show up, you still have to do the things for the physical body, but what energy are you bringing to that? Are you bringing the fear, the rejection, the sadness, you know, all the emotions that were kind of probably already there, the self-worth, the self-love that help push into kind of this territory of your body saying, Hey, not healthy enough, either on a physical level or an emotional level. I need some TLC. Are you willing to look at that for me and do the hard work? So there is no quick fix. Obviously, we want to um help, you know, clear out the subconscious blocks, clear the emotion tied to before fertility issues and during fertility issues. What came up for me probably three years after my second son was born was how much trauma I actually was storing from all that medical treatment, from a physical standpoint in my hips, in my uterus, to you know, an emotional standpoint. Um, you know, when I was four months pregnant with my second son, I with a natural pregnancy, right? You think, okay, natural, fine, we're here. I was mad. I was so mad that I had it took me eight years. And I'm a layman. I like I don't really have that much interest in gut health and endocron systems and all that, but I was forced to study it and show up for myself in that way because the experts weren't talking about it that way. They were not linking fertility to gut health.

SPEAKER_01 16:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:35

And that was frustrating.

SPEAKER_01 16:37

Yeah. And if someone wants to learn more about these things, where do you suggest they go?

SPEAKER_00 16:42

Yeah, I mean, there's so much information now, right? So here's the thing when you are gathering information, first, do you trust that person? Are they saying something that you're really vibing with? Because um, even myself, if I say something and you're like, nope, that doesn't make sense, like the liver, right? Like, nope, I'm not gonna do it. Okay, meet yourself where where you're at. But you have to use your discernment. I have people all the time saying to me, Oh, this guru or this expert said X, Y, and Z. So I've started, I had this one lady who was like a vegan, I think. And then she was like, Okay, I need animal protein. So I started eating five eggs a day because this person told me to. And she's like, I don't feel good on it. And I said, please follow your intuition and what your body is telling you. Because no, that isn't working for you. Not because eggs are bad or whatever. Maybe you're just eating too much. Maybe that protein source isn't great for you, you know, whatever it is. But when you're looking for information, you have to use your just discernment and your intuition. Try it out, right? I did a lot of silly stuff on my journey. And the moment you realize this isn't working, stop. Recalibrate and don't look back at your journey and say, um, well, I wasted time. No, you learnt a lesson, you gain wisdom. You know that doesn't work for you. The worst thing you can do, especially in the medical, is again and again and again and again. Because really, the holistic stuff, you're actually taking steps forward, whether you believe it or not. Where in the medical system, if you're not doing those holistic stuff, I have to then support the women who have done six, seven rounds of IVF in two years to get their level of health back up to where they started with the IVF. And then we have to do the emotional, the physical work around all that loss, grief, heartache, financial. So really using that intuition and the discernment of going, okay, I tried it, it didn't work. That person I know gets results for other people. It just didn't work for me. So I'm gonna, I'm gonna take the time and do a little bit more research.

SPEAKER_01 19:06

Yeah. And I think just being open-minded. Um, a friendly went to some, what she called it was like a wacky Chinese medicine doctor, which is probably very offensive to a lot of people if I'm saying this, but it it worked. Um, she's like, Yeah, I had to go weekly, and they would give me something and I would take this and drink this tea, and they would take a look at, you know, my tongue and my toenails and my fingernail. And then she's like, and within three months, she was pregnant. So, you know, it just whatever, whatever for you, you know.

SPEAKER_00 19:36

Exactly. Um, exactly. You you just have to go. You it if you trust that person and you're using that intuition, like, okay, when I started to change my diet 15 years ago, people thought I was crazy. Like, you couldn't go to the store to the gluten-free aisle. You, you know, like it was very different back then. It was extreme. And I had to get right with myself of like, it doesn't matter what people think. I've actually seen results in my normal health. This is forever a lifestyle for me. And when you start, you know, reading about epigenetics, that's what really made me stick to what I wanted to stick to because so many people look at health like pregnancy as health. Oh, well, I got pregnant, so I'm healthy. Well, let's look at the facts. There's some people out there who are really unhealthy using drugs, alcohol, all those things, and get pregnant. So pregnancy is not a sign of health. And we are seeing the stats now with um issues during pregnancy, issues during postpartum, our children's health. So many more of our children, like me, you know, I was a product of this, you know, just got dealt not a great hand of epigenetics. And so we had to, you know, do the hard work. And now, as mamas, I think more mamas now who gave birth, probably within the last 20 years, um, are seeing, hey, my kid, this isn't normal. My kid shouldn't have chronic ear issues, gut issues, this issue, that issue. Um, so I need to make a whole change for everyone. I was just forced to do it before I had kids. That's the only difference. And that's what I try to say with people who are dealing with fertility. I know I shouldn't say this, but I don't have one single friend who has not or is not going through their own type of infertility hell with children, whether it's them or their children.

SPEAKER_01 21:42

Yeah, no, it's true. And in our case, it came down to inflammation, how to help the body detox. Um, the MTHFR gene is a real thing. Um, some doctors will say it's not, but it absolutely is. You've got to test for it. And if you have it, take out folic acid, put in methylfolate. It helps your body get rid of the toxins faster. And anyway, there's a lot, a lot, a lot to learn. And really appreciate you sharing your story. If people want to learn more about you or what to do, where do you suggest they go?

SPEAKER_00 22:15

So I'm finding fertility everywhere on the internet. So wherever you hang out, I'm probably hanging out there too. And if someone really wants to get deep in, I would love to offer them a special three uh 30-minute fertility breakthrough session that I do the same thing I do with my paying clients. I get to know you and I just show you, hey, I know you don't want to look here, but this is where the real issue is. Um, so you can do that by emailing me or DMing me dreams on your favorite platform.

SPEAKER_01 22:51

Fantastic. Thank you so much, Monica.

SPEAKER_00 22:53

Yeah, thank you so much.