I'll Just Let Myself In
"I’ll Just Let Myself In" is an empowering new podcast dedicated to people who are ready to take a chance on themselves and forge their own path. Hosted by Lish Speaks, each episode explores personal stories, triumphs, and challenges of navigating industries from the “outside-in.” From entrepreneurship to career advancement, self-care to self-discovery, this podcast provides candid conversations, practical advice, and inspirational anecdotes to motivate listeners to embrace their identity, defy societal norms, and pursue their dreams unapologetically. Join us on this journey as we celebrate the strength and tenacity of our guest and hopefully ourselves! It's time to take a chance on yourself and Let Yourself In!
Video version available on the @lishspeaks Youtube channel
I'll Just Let Myself In
Loss, Legacy and Starting Over - Into the Fire w/ SSK Music
In this deeply moving episode, we sit down with Ssk to talk about the pillars of his life family, career, and faith and how they were all tested when he lost everything in a devastating fire. He opens up about the pain of losing his father, the process of rebuilding from the ashes, and how that moment reshaped his perspective on purpose and perseverance. This is a story of loss, but even more, it’s a story of strength, legacy, and starting over with intention.
Send us a text with your thoughts, feedback, or questions for the host!
I had to feel my way up the steps and then grab her and then I had one of them pandemic masks. Thankfully, because it's pandemic, I put that on her face Mask on her face, yeah yeah, yeah, walked down.
Speaker 2:You literally saved your mom from a burning building.
Speaker 1:Bruh. I'm like Nah, you different, bruh. I'm like we even. You different, you different, you different. Nah, that was all good cause. She was saying like she was having a vision. She was like I think it's my time. She said from her perspective, she just felt a cool breeze. She was like lord, I'm at peace. And then she said you just felt me go. Wow, snatch it back to life, man wow, what's up everybody, it's your girl.
Speaker 2:Lish Speaks, and welcome back to another episode of my podcast. I'll Just Let Myself In the podcast. But we don't wait for an imaginary permission slip or for some seat at an imaginary table. We let ourselves into our God-given doors. Y'all know I try to bring y'all the best guests, people who I believe are adding value to the space, people who I believe that you can learn from and be inspired by to walk through your God-given doors, and today is no different. Today I have a London-based producer, artist, social media personality, contestant on the newest, world's funniest game show, relationships, pop the balloon and all-around artist who is beginning to delve into some faith-based content of his own. And it is my pleasure to introduce here in the US to my good brother, the London-based UK artist so Special K, also known as SSK. Y'all Give it up for SSK.
Speaker 1:Welcome to the couch man, hey Lish, hey Lish. I appreciate you, man, I appreciate you having me here Absolutely.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, appreciate you having me here, absolutely Glad to have you in Atlanta. We have some family here, so it's great to have you as you're visiting, and I'm excited because I want to have a conversation that I believe my audience can really benefit from, in the sense of pivoting and learning when to listen to the call inside of you, even though the noise outside of you might be really loud. So we're going to get into talking about that, but before any of that, right, your name is SSK, which stands for so Special K. Let me know how you came up with that to be your artist name.
Speaker 1:All right. So what's so funny is not. A lot of people know that, so I know you did your homework.
Speaker 2:Yes, I did.
Speaker 1:Everyone's like what does SSK?
Speaker 2:stand for.
Speaker 1:And I'm just always interchanging it, you know, like Weezy F baby, so. But yeah, originally the original name is so Special K-S-O, special K-A-Y, and that was something you know. My actual name is Kaya, so and that's what the K I put it out there. I was trying to keep, but it's what it is. Um, so special was something it just felt organic. I remember I was a teenager when I first started using it and it just I don't remember making the decision. It was just like that was just a name and what it actually stood for was just being different and I didn't realize the power of what that whole thing. That's literally been my whole life based on that. But it's about being different, being yourself, not following the crowd, simply put. But I feel like I've built my whole lifestyle around that and that's like the probably the core of what I am and everything, everything I do is based around that, not following the crowd. Um, it being okay to have your own story and go down a story that isn't written yet yeah, that's good.
Speaker 2:So growing up in the UK, you know, you told me that your mom is Guyanese and your dad is Jamaican. You got family in the South and here, in the States. Tell me a little bit about your childhood and how those different components made you into the so special person that you are.
Speaker 1:Okay. So it's funny, actually, like I've got both sides of my family here in Atlanta, which is a big melting pot itself. Yeah, but the UK is the biggest melting pot, like they invented the melting pot and spread it around the world and called it the empire, and now when everyone's coming back, it's a problem. But you know, yeah. So the UK. You have all kinds of nationalities there.
Speaker 1:A lot of the Caribbean's came over in the 50s to help rebuild after the war, so they call that the Windrush generation. My dad's side of the family, my granddad came over around that time factory worker. My grandma came over that side on my mom's side and, yeah, they just they. My parents are actually first generation UK born. So you know I'm second generation, so a lot of us are only two generations deep. You'll see a lot of Africans and Caribbeans and we've only been there for a generation or two. Wow, compared to like America, where it's got deep roots here. Yeah, you know so, but growing up you have certain areas that were certain had a great what's the word? A great concentration of Caribbean people, and I grew up in that. One of the areas is a place called Brixton.
Speaker 1:Many people might have heard of, yeah, yeah so Brixton were born and grown, you know, I mean, and that's like growing up, being born and grown in Brooklyn or something.
Speaker 2:You know? Yeah, I'm from Brooklyn. Oh, there you go.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, so born and grown Brixton Mitesfield estate, which was like one of the what you'd have projects. But it wasn't. It didn't look like a project, it was actually very green. It had fields and hills and stuff, so people used to call it mini Jamaica there was always like not just block parties. They had, like you know, the all days, the functions.
Speaker 2:I'm glad you'll get what I mean now, being from new york you know exactly, yeah, yeah, yeah, and my husband is going to be in there.
Speaker 1:You go, yeah, yeah so sound systems, all of that stuff. So that was like mini jamaica you, the summer's day, you're out till what time of the night, like everyone's just free out there. And that was a nice upbringing. You know, brixton had a reputation, his own reputation, but that was just life back in the day, you know, especially back in the 90s, before gentrification. So it was very community-based and because of that I grew up in a lot of community projects. We had a lot of youth centers. We had, um, what was called adventure playgrounds where they would, um, you just send kids for the day, yeah, and they'll be safe, there'll be structures built out of wood, and then we're swinging on rope swings and stuff. And they had them all around london, yeah. So london was like very before the gentrification thing, it was really had a lot for the young people and they really invested in young people. Hence why we came out how we did, no joke.
Speaker 1:But um, yeah, things changed around the 2000s, I guess, for for me and you know, is it got a lot more violent, really violent. Around the early 2000s it was probably had this little thing from 90s, but the 2000s was really, and then it was like, hey, you know, people say that it's crazy now because there's a lot of youth violence right now. Really no, it's really bad. I didn't know that. But yeah, yeah, no, it's a someone calling it a epidemic. Almost it's crazy, but I could get into that. But in the 2000s it was more, I feel like it was grammier then, because that's when the the gun crime and we had a lot of gun crime then.
Speaker 2:Um, yeah, and there was no social media, that's it. So, yeah, you could really get gully. Yeah, it was all of that, it was like standardly.
Speaker 1:You wear shorts under everything you wear. You know, because you're keeping all your stuff in the shorts like it was the was the stick-up kid.
Speaker 2:My era was like the stick-up era.
Speaker 1:So that was an era. So once you like all the sweet childhood stuff ended at the end of the 90s into the 2000s, then it was like, okay, you're outside, yeah. And then there's like next minute, you know, you're finishing school, everyone's getting arrested.
Speaker 1:A bunch of half of you people, my experience I can't talk for all of like london, but I grew up in south london and east london's got its own and north and everything else. But yeah, there's I just say it because there's a lot of people that don't actually know this side of london and the parallels of um growing up and especially growing up black in a in a white country. Yeah, you know you're who is getting wrongly accused, who's getting picked up, who's getting picked on. We have police jump out units.
Speaker 1:You see where they had red dogs hair and you had jump out boys and all of that in up north or wherever else we had that, and they're TSG units and those are the ones that could jump out and just grab a bunch of black boys and whoop. You Give you a good butt, whooping first, and then throw you in the thing Cr car window open, drag you out all of that stuff. So it was like and they'll pick on the estates which are like the projects, so they'll just, they'll know everyone by name, like in the wire, like come here like in the wire.
Speaker 1:That's what I thought about yeah, yeah, like bold, and you start to know the units. You know what I mean. So I think the reason I'm leading into that is because my first youth project that I started working on it was around my grandma's estate in Mylesfield. It was called the Mylesfield North Youth Project. Okay, youth Forum, sorry, and we would just be hanging out. People would just be hanging out because there was no youth service around there nothing for the young people to do.
Speaker 1:So everyone was getting picked on by the police. So everyone was getting picked on by the police. And then me one of my friends, jaden, and who was me, jaden and Priscilla we kind of came and we're speaking to my mom, and so my grandma's house was like a hub, so people would just be in and out there. Anyway, you know, my auntie would be making cake, you just come in, since we was kids. So we were by my grandma's one day and my mom was like yo, do you need any? Do you want any services? Because she was always in youth work and we're like, yeah.
Speaker 1:So we made a consultation form and we went around the whole estate or project and, just like all the young people were like yo, would you want to do ice skating? Would you want to do go-karting? Would you want to go on trips? Would you want to do basketball? Would you want to do boxing? And everyone. We got mad signatures From that. We did the funding application and then we was getting approved for funding and we was able to set that up and we was like 17 at the time, 17.
Speaker 2:I didn't realize.
Speaker 1:It's only when I got older I realized like what we're doing how important that was, right, right.
Speaker 1:But thank God my mom's like doing the organization stuff Because she knew all the. You know what I mean. So she's very respected in the community for a lot of the youth services that she did. But that was one of my first experience of just what can be done if we and it changed the whole whole neighborhood. By the time it was like three, four years later we was in city hall getting a mayor london award for all of that and you know it's like so much can be changed if you just take time to invest in the youth or pay attention to them yeah everyone that was in that youth forum is doing something successful now.
Speaker 1:I love that Every single person you know, or they're on some kind of path.
Speaker 2:They're on a path yeah, so yeah, that was where.
Speaker 1:I kind of get. So that's where I got my. Those are like the seeds that kind of went into.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah, let's talk about listen I with all the things that you've done in music. You've worked with some big people. You've worked on big platforms. You've had your music on Netflix and HBO and all these different things and to pivot from that, not leave it.
Speaker 2:but pivot from it to teaching the youth emotional intelligence as well as AI, as well as entrepreneurship. I hear you talking about your mom, and it makes sense now why you would do that. So, with that being said, I want to ask you two things. The first one is why shouldn't people be afraid of AI? Why should they work with AI instead of being afraid of it? And then my follow-up question to that would be what's the one thing you would tell someone who doesn't know anything about AI to get them started on their journey?
Speaker 1:Okay. The reason I shouldn't be afraid of AI is they were afraid of nearly all of the technology used, nevermind the internet, the mobile phones, the television, television, probably even the radio before. Think about when the radio came out, you know, and that was like talking people. And you know there's different, different levels to the fair. There's the fair of, um, what it means for people's jobs. It's for the fair of what it means, um, technologically. There's even the spiritual fair. You're like, oh no, this is like. You know, this is, this is witchcraft or this is the, you know the beast or whatever, whereas, like you got to think when radio first came out, you're hearing someone's voice that's over there. Think how insane that is. Even now, though, the technology we take for granted still blows my mind more than AI, because it's like, what do you mean? We could film a picture and I could see a picture of someone across the world yeah, like that's FaceTime somebody and see them immediately. Show that to someone 200 years ago. They're just going to burn the witch.
Speaker 2:Burn the witch, you know.
Speaker 1:So it's Every technology. We use so much adaptive technology that people are scared of anyway. So it's better to just know and understand it, because it's to just know and understand it and it's because it's like most technology it's not going away. Yeah, but the only difference is whose hands is it in, and that's what's important. Ai is just a tool like anything else.
Speaker 1:Um, every war wasn't started by the guns, it was starting by the humans, yeah, so you gotta think who are the humans that are learning this? Who are the humans that are harnessing it? Is it going to be someone with a wicked heart or is it going to be someone who has true good intentions? Yeah, and while we have the opportunity to learn, um, these tools, we need to be learning them because otherwise it would be the people with bad intentions of greed, selfishness and not caring about anybody else which is a high percent who are becoming one more powerful every day. They're going to be learning these things and in control of it. By the time you get in control of it, by the time you learn it, it's too late. You're behind.
Speaker 1:I don't want to always push panic and stuff, but I want to push wisdom and it's like why not learn it the same way you learn anything else. There's ethical reasons people are scared about. Like AI is stealing from artists. It's stealing people are scared about. Like ai is um, stealing from artists is stealing from knowledgeable people. But or what it's learning? All it's doing is doing the learning you would do anyway. Yeah, so if you're learning a million topics that might take you 20 years, are you not doing the same thing it's doing? It's just doing it a fraction of a second. So I feel like I feel like you know what it is. I feel like it's fair. Some excuses, misunderstanding and sometimes people just want to jump on the latest campaign.
Speaker 2:You know what I'm saying? To hate something. To hate something, yeah, yeah, Okay. So tell us also someone knows nothing about AI, doesn't use it, doesn't even know what ChatGPT is, doesn't even use Sari, nothing, right. What would you tell them to help them get started in learning about AI?
Speaker 1:I would probably say just mess around with chat GPT and just know there's nothing, no rules, you can't ask it. And Siri as well. You know it's a tough one because I don't understand the security concerns, like I don't know, I don't want to listen to me. But yeah, I would say mess with chat GPT and from there you'll kind of start to understand it, especially now that it could create images as well. You know, for some of the young people, just they, I just get them in on the fact that they want to make images or art, yeah, and I'm like oh, you know, you could also ask this, this and you can make a schedule, or you can ask it to design a book or website you know, because all it's.
Speaker 1:All it is is a calculator and it's no different than the calculator you use to to do your equations and but it's just doing more than actual maths. It's doing calculating, whatever else you need to do. So it's yeah, I feel like that's a good start. There's better, well, there's different alternatives to chat. Gpt, you know, you've got Claude, you've got, you've got, dare I say, gemini.
Speaker 2:But Gemini has its uses.
Speaker 1:And Gemini has some cool stuff. That's a lot of the stuff that I use with young people, because they actually have Google AI Suite and it has a lot of cool stuff to get young people, and newbies as well, to understand all the stuff that AI can do. So stuff from voice, voice-related, text-to-voice, all those different things.
Speaker 2:Image video yeah, yeah, things to start out right, but in cool, fun ways, as if you're going to the science museum.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and that's just my main thing, I would say over all of it, it's like once upon a time when we were kids, we found this stuff the coolest thing we were we were like, yeah, we would love this stuff. We were sitting on the computer, we're playing sims you know anything that was like you know, creative and imaginative, yeah, and it's like you just got to ask yourself what made you fall out of love with your imagination and what made you fall out of love with optimism.
Speaker 2:Yeah, when did I lose my curiosity?
Speaker 1:Exactly, that's what I always tell people, right, that's good and it's when you started feeling powerless and you got to think that's deep yeah.
Speaker 2:When you started feeling powerless, you gave up on your curiosity. That's good. Let me ask you this is a producer and I want to get into your music career in a second. But when you have a producer like Timbaland yeah, yeah, creating an AI artist what are your thoughts, as someone who is both equally into the music business as an artist and producer, but also loves and champions ai, what are your thoughts on something like that?
Speaker 1:all right, do you want what? My thoughts for artists or my thoughts for the general public, or both? Give me both, okay. I would say for artists um, why have you not started making your, your own, ai?
Speaker 1:artist version of yourself that is not what I thought you were gonna say yeah, yeah, so special came and I'm the wild card. I would also say, um, all right, you gotta look at, look at who timberland is, because if it was some unknown person working at Sony doing it as well, you'd be like, okay, red flags, what are they doing? Yeah. So now you've got to think what is Timbaland's intentions? What?
Speaker 2:is his heart.
Speaker 1:Posture right yeah what if he's just someone like you know, because there's other people that are probably doing it that haven't mentioned it. I already know probably people like William probably have five of them already. They've been on this. William is the genius.
Speaker 1:William and Pharrell are the geniuses when it comes to tech music. So you got to look at the person's heart posture. Again, it comes back to a conversation we were having before. All this technology is going to be here, you know, but who's going to be running it and what are they going to be doing with it? But I would say, in terms of it's past, music. Now it's going to go into modeling, et cetera. I was having a conversation with a model the other day. I'm like you need to just license your own face like this, because eventually, all they're going to do is either be able to use your face the same way they're going to be able to use your voice or you just if you take control of your image, and everything is going to be personality based.
Speaker 2:Wow, so yeah but I, just I'm optimistic, so you get it. You understand why Timbaland did that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, most definitely, and it's no different than so much stuff that's already out here that we're already tuned into, you know, yeah, it's just. I think the ethical thing was just the training it on people's music kind of thing, yeah that part is the you need transparency. Yeah, you need transparency. I think transparency wins, wins, wins, a day, every time.
Speaker 2:My opinion yeah, my opinion All right. Let me ask you some questions about your personal career. So, um, you're a producer, but you're also an artist, and you produce for big artists while trying to become a big artist. Right, tell me what that journey is like.
Speaker 1:So I'll tell you the timeline a little, so how I even started producing as an artist. I was my mom, like I said. She did youth projects, but one of her projects was a creative project, a child performing arts project, so they were like a dance crew. She would always have tapes and CDs lying around and you know, back in the day in the tapes you have the instrumentals in there. So I used to write raps to them, like crazy enough. I know this is like super unexpected, but one of the first raps I wrote back in the day was to Lil Kim. That's crazy, that's some personal which beat Drugs Really. I was like seven years old and that beat is crazy.
Speaker 2:I started rapping very young too, so seven years old makes sense too, yeah.
Speaker 1:I was writing about where I was living and everything. My mom was like yo keep writing. She nurtured the time you keep writing. So by the time I got to secondary school I would just rap to anything I learned.
Speaker 2:And what grade is secondary school for the Americans?
Speaker 1:Secondary school in the UK is I say it's great I could do by age okay, yeah, what's the age? Start secondary school at age 11 and you finish at age 16. Yeah, so that's middle school yeah age 16. Yeah, yeah, so also that's into high school. So, where you guys will have high school, we have um what's called college, but it will be junior college for you got it okay and then and then college, what we call university yeah, exactly so high school is like our college age a level age okay, gotcha so yeah, when I was y'all following, all right, go ahead.
Speaker 1:So yeah, middle school age secondary school right, we got you, I was, I was right, into anything. But then I started playing around on the keyboard and I that's when I learned I had an air where I could just play stuff by air. So we had a lot of music. Whatever songs was out I'm talking about all those DMX and Swiss beats things, all those melodies. I would play them in music class and they, um again, shout out British education system.
Speaker 1:It's not much I'll shout out, but if we got a handful of things I will shout out and, um, we have music class, which is compulsory, keyboards and, and I would just play, like all those hip hop melodies. Everyone would gather around and start freestyling on that. And when I got home I had two tape players. I'll tell you the quick story. I had two tape players. I would play melodies from a beat on one, record it, and then I would just play melodies from another beat on another one and then play, play that back while I'm playing another and start layering up my own beats like that, wow yeah, and I was just kind of wanting stuff to rap on, so I made beats for myself, basically.
Speaker 1:And then before I finished school, one of my music teachers saw that I had a keen interest in making beats, so they gave me a cracked version of the software that we were learning on. So I got my first that was called Cakewalk, which later became Cubase, and. And then I had a homie, tyrone. I'm going to big him up every interview, every.
Speaker 2:Michael Fonda.
Speaker 1:We all go to Tyrone, tyrone. I didn't have internet in my crib, so Tyrone had the internet. He was the LimeWire guy.
Speaker 2:Shout out to Tyrone's parents.
Speaker 1:Shout out Paying for the internet Mommy, Yo so like he gave me a download with FL Studio on it and it was on from there. So, yeah, I started on FL Studio making beats for myself because no one really getting it. And then, by time, yeah, I would only produce for myself, maybe until all through university. All of that I was doing stuff for myself. People were asking for beats, I'm like. Eventually I was like nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. And then 2015, I think around the time when I first came over here, I came back and I had a battery in my back. Man, I was like yo, atlanta, you know 2015, atlanta.
Speaker 2:I remember.
Speaker 1:What was that? Yeah, you get yourself in trouble. Right, right, right.
Speaker 2:You're like you had to stop telling that story.
Speaker 1:I'm going to have to sweat my mouth, oh God. But yeah, I remember 2015, atlanta. I pulled up over here straight in the airport. I'm seeing celebrities. I'm sitting down in the barber shop. I'm seeing like Zaytover next to me. I'm like, oh, it's popping out here for real. So by the time I went back there, after networking like crazy, here I ah, I'm going to actually start producing for people and I set up my production company 2015, ssk Music, and that's when it was set up. And then from 2015 right up to, I think, the pandemic, I was only producing for other people, so I completely put my whole music career to the side. Yeah, I said I have to double down on this, build a business out of this, and that was a very interesting journey of those five years and that will be wow. That'll be 10 years since.
Speaker 1:I started that now this year 10 years, but yeah, so it's been. And in 2020, what happened is? All that happened is just a little thing called the pandemic Yep.
Speaker 2:It's a tiny thing, it's a little thing. You know it's a little thing, no big deal. Couple masks, and that you know what I mean.
Speaker 1:Mercy, yeah, so studios were closed, everything was closed. But you know me, I'm an opportunist, so I was like it's cool, I'm gonna be on on live, I'm gonna make beats. I did a whole challenge. I made a beat sampling Akon Locked Up Lockdown Challenge and that started going viral like people were doing freestyles to. After that, everything was good. I'm like nah, this pandemic is gonna be a blessing to this guy.
Speaker 1:I'm gonna come up on this TikTok thing and then, randomly, right in the middle of the pandemic, in July it's almost like an anniversary right now had a house fire. My whole house burned up like it was homeless for like I think, two years, like I'm telling you we was. We was literally hot sleeping outside for the first two days. All my whole studio, everything, not everything got burnt up, but the whole place got burnt up, the facilities I was working out there, whole operation shut down. And this is after building up from 2015 and having all the accolades and all the early stuff, the label, stuff. I was from scratch and then after that I was just like between 2020 and 2023, I was just like unstable, living in different cities, living out there, living out the country. Went to live in South Africa for a little bit, I love.
Speaker 1:South Africa. Oh man, what part Joburg. So, like, yeah, so Cape Town is where it's at. Yeah, I love Cape Town. That's what the motion is, but Joburg is where you live.
Speaker 2:Cape Town reminds me of New Orleans.
Speaker 1:Is it To me a little bit? Oh yeah, it does. The streets and the houses. Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.
Speaker 2:And then, yes, Joburg is where you go to live. And then if you got a little coin shop Telling you, yeah, yeah, that's it.
Speaker 1:So yeah.
Speaker 2:And Durban is Miami yeah nice, haven't properly, but I've seen it enough, but I can tell that's like florida vibes yeah yeah, yeah, but um yeah.
Speaker 1:So the that fire was a big game changer for me. You know, I had just that. So even, for example, after the fire, we was living in temporary accommodation for a minute and then that's where I didn't have no studio or nothing. All I had was my mic and I was like it's a pandemic, can't go anywhere, anywhere. I might as well just start recording my own music and working on that, but I didn't realize at the time. Same time that was almost music therapy for me because we were actually in the fire. I didn't really explain it. It was a tumble dryer. So it was a tumble dryer and it was a late night, dry and it overheated and next minute went in the kitchen whole things on fire. Like I had to at the time. I'm at the family house I've gone to, like my mum's, gone upstairs to get the cats out, get, allow the cats out the um out the upstairs to make sure they don't get burnt up and one of them did lose, get lost in the fire, yeah.
Speaker 1:And then, um, by the time she's come to come back downstairs because I've run back in the house, I'm forgetting all that. I'm remembering all the fire training. I'd wet a towel, put it around my face just so I could breathe. You can't see nothing. I'm telling you one thing I didn't know. I did not know fire smoke was that hot. That smoke is hot. I'm walking through there trying to feel it and I can't see nothing. I and I can't see nothing. I'm like mom. She like shouting down. I had to feel my way up the steps and then grab her and then I had one of them pandemic masks. Thankfully, because it's pandemic. I put that on her face Mask on her face.
Speaker 1:Yeah, walk down.
Speaker 2:You literally saved your mom from a burning building.
Speaker 1:Bruh, I'm like Nah you different bro, I you different bro I'm like we even, you different, you different, you different. Nah, that was real good, because she was saying like she was having a vision. She was like yo, I think it's my time. She said from her perspective, she just felt a cool breeze. She's like Lord, I'm at peace. And then she said you just felt me go. Wow, snatch it back to life, man, wow, yeah.
Speaker 1:So that goes into the whole mental health thing, because I didn't know, I had PTSD from that until maybe a year and a half later, I'm sure, and I had to have therapy with that. And then they really broke down a lot of things and that's when I realized I did what's called CBT therapy. What is that? Which is cognitive behavior therapy. So that's more about learning about your brain, how you're thinking and everything like that. So that's when I realized that should be a compulsory subject in school for everybody age 15, etc. So you know how you think, because it's, for example, it's letting you know how to capture negative thought cycles, stuff that causes you depression. Um, you know thinking, thinking thought types like, for example, making a mountain out of a molehill yeah.
Speaker 1:Mind reading, like thinking someone's thinking something bad about you and starting to put yourself down and realizing no, it's all in your head, yep. So there's a lot of things that we can snap ourselves out of if we're able to look at ourselves from the outside in. But if you're not taught that you don't, don't, you know, and that just affects how you socially are and how you socially are affects that. But also taught me simple other things. Like you know you can't serve from an empty cup. You don't know that unless someone teaches you that you break your back doing stuff for other people and they're doing stuff half efficiently and then being worse than you were before. Yeah, you know, trying to trying to please everybody, um, also the power, not the power, the yeah, the power of being able to say no. You know, sometimes you feel like you can't say no to people being say no. And also, I think, one of my favorite ones, allowing yourself to schedule yourself to have fun. You're allowed to schedule fun activities to breathe fun and schedule rest rest exactly scheduling.
Speaker 2:Rest is so important and I've learned that Over the last several years of my life that Just because I am free Doesn't mean I'm available. I am free to me. I am free to myself. So, if I've spent all week ripping, running and doing and I'm free on a Saturday, that does not mean I'm Available to go to your thing or hang out with you or help you with this.
Speaker 1:This means I am available to go to your thing or hang out with you or help you with this. This means I am free to need to rest, to rest to sleep, to be silent, to laugh to whatever, because you really cannot pour from that empty cup, and I think that's so important.
Speaker 2:I know that you changed your message a little bit in your music to more faith-based, more inspirational, more encouraging. Was that because of the fire or was that some other life circumstance?
Speaker 1:You know, what's crazy is the way the last four years have been the fire wasn't the worst thing.
Speaker 1:The fire. I even forget about the fire. That's how crazy it is the fire is like. I'm glad I even just remembered to tell you about it. So there was a lot that happened in the last few years, I think. Um. So, as I was saying, as a result of the fire, I was living in south africa for a bit. First trip I went over there was. So let me just give it linear in in a linear order. I was, um, living in temporary accommodation. Then I went to live with my friend in the outskirts of London, maybe about an hour, and that's like super country.
Speaker 1:It's like living Stone Mountain or out there, but it was very quiet, boring, but it allowed me to create some good music out there. And then I made something out there that used a South African sample Sister Bettina and then I was posting it on Instagram A good friend of mine, that's like family. Now she became my manager Her name is Tumi and then she heard it and said you should come out to South Africa. Like you know, they'll love this out here. I'll push it, we'll push it. And I was like don't, I missed the wild card.
Speaker 2:I will hop on that plane next month.
Speaker 1:You know what I mean. I hopped on the plane.
Speaker 1:I'm telling you first I spoke to this girl, rebecca, because I was kind of like, and Rebecca's the Rebecca the creative, and she said something profound to me. She said I was scared about taking a chance and she was like yo, you need to take a chance because when, when God does something for you, there's no way you'll be able to take credit for it. It'll only be him, you know. And yeah, so I went out there. Um, that was doing good, I made, I made, met every. Everybody ended up just meeting some cool people, shooting a video. And then later that year, when I came back, my dad got ill. He had, um, he, they found he had to get that removed, but then, um, so he was in the hospital. So I come back from a high, if I've ever come back and everything's just. Like I'm in the hospital every week, yeah, not every week, every half a day, like I'm visiting him and I would start just writing, writing every time I'm on the train. It was like my exercise, my game. I jump on right every day, I'm writing and then fast forward to later down the year. Um, man, yo, it's some deep stuff. Man, herb, yo.
Speaker 1:So I got into a depression. There was a girl I was seeing and then she had miscarried and then, yeah, and then I was in. I remember writing about that because that was, like you know, people don't really hear that from the guy's perspective as well. You know, you kind of get excited about that. And then so I didn't realize, like you know that I you kind of get excited about that, and then so I I didn't realize, like you know, that I was kind of spiraling but and I had just moved back into the burnt house. It just got repaired mentioned two years later. So I've got all these boxes around me. It's when it's uk winter which is like the most that's not really dreary depression thing ever, just dealt with that after moving.
Speaker 1:And then it's like yo. And afterwards I was just like yo, I'm about to go crazy, I'm about to almost crashed out. So I just ended up doing what my random self would do at the time and hopping on a flight back to south africa. But what I learned is I went there with the wrong energy. I went there with running away energy some real jonah energy, you know and then so when I out there, I was feeling like I was having a whale of a time. It's great, but I didn't realize how far from God I was going when I was out there the second time. So it was like and I've realized like going far from God doesn't necessarily mean doing the crazy stuff, it just means doing so much of you.
Speaker 2:Not doing the thing he told you to do. You can even be doing something, right, right?
Speaker 1:yeah, you're doing right, but that's your, you're right, you know I mean. So the more you're doing you, you fit, so it feels like you're achieving and stuff like that. But then eventually anything, any, all kind of possibilities are open because you're doing, you're doing you and you're not on the path you're supposed to be doing. So I may have been doing a lot out there, but I was. I didn't realize how far from my actual purpose I was on. So I was really like I say why I won't say crashing, I was whiling out, but really it's crashing out, yeah, yeah, for months out there. And then it was like, when you're coming back, I'm like no, I'm good, I'm doing that and I was doing too much. All the breaking all the rules, spreading myself in. But over there, you know south africa, it's like a movie man. Anything you think you want to do, it moves, yeah, and my business is running there. I'm like had a little mini label there. So much talent. Talent is born out there. You know dancing and singing yeah.
Speaker 1:So everything. I'm like you're living best life, I'm in the motherland, it's all good, but then I'm, I'm, I'm wilding at the same time. So by the time I come back, I'm thinking it's all good. I come back and right when I want to meet my dad, my dad random um, to tell him I'll update him the stories because I'm talking to him the whole time he just out of nowhere has a stroke, wow, has a stroke, and then he's in a coma for like um two months trying to get back. When he's in the coma he had a heart attack, heart stop came back, brain damage because he had the kidney out and he was on dialysis. They didn't want to kind of keep his machine on. I had to do a GoFundMe not just a GoFundMe, I had to do a petition, just Change to let them keep his machines on, because they were saying that it wasn't worth keeping on Wow. So I was doing all that on autopilot again. So that was a tough time.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And you don't realize how much that kind of affects you. My pops were my biggest fan, yeah, yeah, my mum and dad very different with my music, my pops. I could do no wrong, everything you know, even though he didn't grow up in the house anything, and that's why I rated him even more, because it was. He showed that even though you're not in the house doesn't mean you don't need just cause you might not have what they call a broken home, don't mean you have to have a broken family. Yeah, him and mum are like siblings almost. Yeah, like fam. Be at all the functions great relationship.
Speaker 2:My dad and my mom are the same way you understand?
Speaker 1:yeah, yeah. So it'll be there. The relationship is there? Strong advice, so anything holla at him. You know, even though we don't live in the same place and you know we had to make our, we have to make our own peace with them whatever way, and once you do that, the relationship gets stronger. So our relationship was so strong and that was my dude man, that was my personal. I'll play any new songs, like yo, and he'll talk about a new music yeah my mom.
Speaker 1:She's very she's I wouldn't say strict, but she's very holy, spiritual, and I I get her more now in my work with god, so I could have a banger back in the day but she, she ain't trying to hear it she's like yo.
Speaker 1:She's like okay, but make sure your music glorifies god. All right, make sure what you're doing is to glorify. And sometimes I'll be making good songs Like how do you feel Like positive? So it's like okay, but it's to glorify. I'm like oh, I ain't never be playing you nothing, man. So I just I had a rule Like I would not play my mom, be good, but but she wanted to glorify god. Right, if it's not glorifying god, yeah, you know.
Speaker 1:And then, but my pops was like yo, this is bad, you need to put it, and that was my hype man, you know me, yeah, so when he, when he passed, you know that was a whole, yeah, that was a, that was a chapter man. And then I think, um, after that, you know, I went back to to south africa and again I didn't realize I was wild and again, this has been a journey man, yeah, and then, but then that is grief whiling. Yeah, so you're dealing with grief. And then so, after everything else, and then, by time by time, I got to where are we now? 2023? By the time I got to 2024, stuff started being revealed to me, like how I've started seeing myself from the outside. Well, not even that is I started. You know, when they say breaking at the seams, you start to see the cracks. Yeah, I used to have like a lot of drink bottles in the crib. You know what I mean, so you started seeing yourself from guys eyes.
Speaker 2:Yo, they would have like.
Speaker 1:I'm telling you no, not even that. I would just see I would have those for years. They're just like the collection.
Speaker 2:You know, black people have that collection of just like that no one touches them, and stuff like that Random stuff, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:And then like random stuff, like it was a when did I drink those drinks that I've been there for years, you know. I mean, and I'm like I'm sitting inside and I'm next minute it will move to something else. Then I'm like I'm like chain vaping or whatever you know. Then I'm smoking weed again. I'm like then I'm out every night partying, like I mean, coming home to five like just out crashing, and that's when it became visible like yo, you're not what, there's something not wrong, there's something not right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you're going, you're, you need to heal, you need to sit still and you need to heal. And you, you're, you need to. I'm like, yeah, I'm praying, I'm connecting with god. You know I'm still connected, but you're, you're not healed and you know there's something you really need to address. Yeah, the, the, not just the depression, but the trauma, the grief, the grief, yeah, and pain. And there was some other stuff going on that is a bit even deeper to mention, but I think it's when it got to like late last year and this was a turning point for me.
Speaker 1:I know we're talking about how I kind of just locked in more yeah and it was my cousin passed suddenly and now he's young, he's like in his 30s and this is on point dude, I'm talking about healthy, bodybuilder, family, kids, mortgage, on point driving, charted accountant. You know, like shower jayman, and that was a shock for all of us. Yeah, and you know, sometimes it's like it shouldn't take a catalyst like that, but sometimes it takes something like that to make you almost it's almost like a dedicate. I'm like yo, I need to get my stuff together, yeah, even just for him, because, you know, for him, even though I'm doing it for good. But sometimes it takes that and then it puts you back in the right direction.
Speaker 1:Right, it'll just take a step like, nah, I need to stop the ramp, I ramp, I'm going to just lock off this and it's like I'm going to lock off this. Then I was just like I just want to be excellent. Yeah, you know, and it's a journey because I was. I was way far gone by time last summer, like me. I say me this time last year is a different person. The probably reason God wouldn't let me a different, and I knew. But it was real up and down, but it was like yo, I really need to just take time, be still.
Speaker 1:Stop running away every cold winter. Yeah, and be still, and let, and let god work on me and heal me, man. Yeah, so I feel like the reason I couldn't every time my mom would say, make your music glorify the god, because it wasn't reflecting your life. It could only just reflect your relationship. You could only talk about what you're talking about at the time.
Speaker 2:So much, yeah Right, it's going to have an end point at some point. That's it.
Speaker 1:Yep. So I think just getting my stuff getting closer to God and just over these last months and really learning, understanding what surrender means, that's how my music has taken a turn, because it's just kind of me being. I don't even want to put nothing out unless it not even on my own message that God would like this. It's just like yo I'm not putting that out until you kind of say it might be on the bus, randomly put it out.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Okay cool.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:So, in that vein, let's talk about this new project, showers, that just came out, and I'm guessing that God told you it was okay to put it out since it's out. So tell your listeners, your viewers, my listeners and my viewers one what inspired showers, what they can expect on showers and what they should be looking for.
Speaker 1:Right. So showers, funny enough, was written over a year ago. I wrote it around April last year. I wrote it around April last year but I was still living like mid-crash out or mid, just like not realizing how you know that I needed to kind of settle down and get stuff together so that just kind of shows you could really be close to God. But it's like your heart, your mind, can be there.
Speaker 1:It's almost like I've learned about carnal Christianity as well and that's like you know, you could be doing everything, you could be doing stuff, what's right and all of that, but not your heart might be there, you might even have the Holy Spirit, but you're not filled with the Holy Spirit, if that makes sense. So it was like it's only when I went through what I was going through over this winter and I stopped going out and I was like I stopped smoking again, wasn't drinking, the whole shebang, bang, the celibate, all of that. And then, as I was just like saying yo, I'm bored but I'm going to just sit here, I started doing this thing called gentle reminders, which was I was talking about, was like affirmation series, and it was just like talking. You know positive, godly stuff as well, cause you know affirmationsations like, but no encouragement, encouragement.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was encouragement.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I said let me put that to music just for myself, because I needed it. I wanted to. You know, if you get the press, you want to, hey, like no I'm, you know I'm worthy, I I am, you know I am somebody. Um, this doesn't. This isn't forever. This season I'm going through and just repeat it. My one of my friends, eric, put me onto that some years back and I said let me do that. So I did that the beginning of the year and I was doing that. I was doing that, I did like about six of them, and then it's that song. That was like I saw showers again. I was like I listened to it back. I was like this is affirmations, but on song, yeah. So when I back into the lyrics, I just started mixing the track again and I really broke it down. I was like, oh, this is so honest.
Speaker 1:That song basically is the verses are like describing my life, my struggle every day, like in the morning wake, I pray God. I need a sign today because I'm just trying to find a way that doesn't let me go astray. You know something's changing. I don't know something that I can't control. It's a feeling in my soul. It's feeling like an overflow. So it's like I feel like there's something going on inside of me. It's like my cry. Both verses are like my cry.
Speaker 1:And then the the hooks are like affirmations. I mean, no, the hooks are like, um, my prayer now and that was inspired by the prayer of jabez, you know, it was like lord that I'm truly blessed. Your um, your hat, was it? Your hand will be with me, my distress will cease. And you, now you expand my territories. Your hand will be with me and my distress will cease.
Speaker 1:Yes, and he said it would, um, you'll protect me from all evil. Simple prayer. And he said god granted it to him when you think about it as the priorities. So I said like yo, that's the prayer, what I need, that I'm truly blessed and in the chorus, blessings are falling on me, even when I can't see. Yeah, so it's an affirmation, like, even though I can't see and I'm in a mad situation and I feel so far from you, I'm going to say that you're blessed, that you, you are close to me. I'm going to confirm and believe, pronounce my mouth, testify that you still there for me, you still care about me and you're still here and I just mind, mind me of psalm. You know, king david was wilding and I love him so much.
Speaker 1:He would say why are you so like? Why are you forsaking me? You say all of this stuff, that like how, how his reality seems, but it doesn't end there, but he'll spin it back and he'll end it on. But you are god and you are, you know, in praise and affirmation of who god is and who on god's heart posture, and I think that's the one thing. The one lie in this world is that god doesn't love us and the one truth is god loves us eternally. And once you just put that, you cancel that everything about you know, from the beginning, from from eve, yeah, from eve. What did he really say?
Speaker 1:he's basically saying testing god's heart posture god's um heart to you yeah, k and abel, or I think god testing god's heart to you. And it's like yo if Eve said, yeah, he does love me and I don't need this, or whatever I just said the truth, I'm good yep. We're chilling right now.
Speaker 2:That's a fact. Yo, yes, wow, I love that. That's really good, and I want people to take away from that and understand that there's so much power in music. There's so much power in the ability to share with people encouragements, things that they may not have time or make time to read, things that they may not hear the preacher say. You can put your headphones in and you can hear something that really inspires you and gives you the encouragement that you need. I got two more questions for you, one that we always end out with, but before that I got to do something fun with you you were on a little show called Pop the Balloon on YouTube, which is now on Netflix.
Speaker 2:Yeah yeah. But you were on the when it was on YouTube. Yeah, yeah, and how did that come about? And it seems to be for people who are looking for love. So, are you looking for love right now? What's that? What season of your life are you in in that way?
Speaker 1:So I'm in a season where I don't want to say I'm looking for anything. I want to say I'm open to anything. Okay, open to. You know what I mean, and I've learned about chasing versus attracting. You know, but being not everybody.
Speaker 1:Some people are looking for love, but they're not really open to it, because if love really knocks on their door, dude like I've had to allow myself to be open to love, and being open to love also allows yourself to be not take yourself too seriously. You know, not, say, not take yourself. Feel like you're this most important thing, like we are all, like dirt and mush, you know, I mean, at the end of the day, you know, from dust, we are from dust, we shall return, you know.
Speaker 2:So how did you end up on on pop the balloon. So with that I mean I was spinning the block.
Speaker 1:Um. So yo um shout out my cousin jordy yo, she's based in um phoenix, so I went to visit her on this trip first and she had been on the show a few months before and I didn't really used to watch it like I used to. You know, I was I'm gonna be real, I was a cynic.
Speaker 2:I was like, just because it was the relationship I'm not super familiar, but I did see it on your page and I was like, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:That's how it works.
Speaker 2:That's how it?
Speaker 1:works. So I was like, ah, that show she won in it. I watched it just to see her. Why, when I tell you, I watched that. I got hooked, and I mean hooked. Hooked to the point where, even when I was packing my bags to come out here to stay awake, I was what, I was binging it. I would binge the show.
Speaker 1:It was my thing, and I was like I couldn't go on there though, so I pulled up to her. I was staying by her. She's like yo, you should go in the show. I was like nah, what do you mean? I'm not going, what? Going there for what? Like, I'm good, I got my, I got my emotion going, I don't. And then, um, I said it to a couple of you back in the uk, I was like, yeah, my cousin was saying I should go on it. Everyone's like no, you should go on it. That's like, bro, if you don't go on that shit and you know, I thought you know it was I was realizing, yo, why am I scared?
Speaker 1:And that's what I didn't like. I didn't like the idea of being scared, because then you're, when you're scared of something is when you close yourself off to opportunities. You know, I'm thinking what is it? Is it nervous? Because I'm thinking what people will say about me? But everything you need is at the end of your comfort zone, everything you need is at the end of your fares. So you know you can't faith and fare can't live in the same room. So that's you know. Nip said I'm just trying to be, I'm trying to be afraid of afraid.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know so.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's the once and that's kind of where God Got me now. You know, funny enough. You know we're talking about Fuck the blue, but we had like a revival At my church that I go to Like a few weeks before.
Speaker 1:Yeah tell me about that, and it was like you know, really about the Holy Spirit Is about surrendering All of you, whatever you feel, whatever your thing is, your whole Coolness, whatever's cool, your plans and all of that, and just being able to go with the flow. The Holy Spirit can say go there, go, do this, do that, you know. So I'm not going to lie, I didn't just say I'm going there, I was praying. I was like Lord, if you really want me to Lord every day, lord, do I go on this show? It looks like I. I had even gone to church and one of the aunties from church was like yeah, I'll take you.
Speaker 2:I know she liked the show because she ended up chilling.
Speaker 1:She's like I'll come back Chilling watching. So yeah, there's not too much I could say about the details or the filming, because it's like you know, it's always still running in that yeah absolutely. I could tell you about how I ended up going there. So I decided to go in there and I'm really glad I did.
Speaker 2:you know I'm glad you did too. Yeah, yeah, Listen, you never know what is the thing that's going to help you know, push your message where you can reach the people who God has called you to reach. You know, one of the questions that we end with here on our show is in the grand scheme of things, what do you want your legacy to be?
Speaker 2:And I want to ask you, you know, with all that you've already done with all that you're working on, which I'm gonna give you a chance to tell the people about after this question.
Speaker 1:But, in the grand scheme of things, what do you want your legacy to be? Wow, it's crazy. That's such a simple question that you think I would have an answer for just like straight, like that. But I feel legacy is a tough one right now, man, because once you start thinking about yo, this, I'm going for eternal life. Man, like this world and everything is, we in the last days, this world is all going and it'll be a new heaven, a new earth. A lot of people don't sleep on the new earth bit. You know we're gonna be out here with down here people think it's all heaven with a big gold and spark. We're gonna be back down here with just like an earth and houses and roads and Buford Highway again, but the better version. I'm always thinking like in that mindset.
Speaker 1:Now say but my legacy, because I want to just be, show that you don't have to follow the crowd. Still, you're called to be different. You're not called to be a clone and I want to say that I inspire people to do that. You're not called to be a clone and I want to say that I inspired people to do that. I'm still fighting my own battles as well, because there's so many different sides to me and it's conflicting and it's a journey and whatnot. But I want to show people that I didn't give up and I stuck it out to the end and I didn't switch out on God, no matter how far I might boomerang left, right, I stuck with God and that's why Peter in the Bible is my guy, cause one minute he's like it's my church, let me just get you behind me. Satan. Next minute he's denying him three times and then yet, but he held, he held it down to the end. You know, and it's like I want to just be the guy that is like yo, locked in with God and held it, yeah.
Speaker 2:You know and you're still yeah, yeah, that's it. I love that. That's what's up. That's what's up. Listen, tell the people where they can find you, what you got coming up anything they should be locked in looking for from you. Let the people in the US know what they should be locking into in the UK. Hey, yo.
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, not all social. I'm on socials under ssk, underscore music. Um, right now I'm doing a lot of tech work. Like I'm saying, I'm doing these um, these ai um. I started doing by doing music tech workshops that I would bring into a youth center that I used to go to and then started giving back by doing the work, the session there, because they, they kept me out of trouble. I didn't even go into that's another interview, but like um, so I was doing that.
Speaker 1:But yeah, I've got a tech company. We build solutions, um, ai solutions, and right now I'm just trying to open it up. So a lot of people asking me, especially since the show is, a lot of people have been hitting me up to get um, you know, um ai introductions or just like ai courses and stuff. So I might put together a course or just start doing something like that. But, yeah, music wise. Uh, I'm just out here getting inspiration. I'm really inspired, man, I think I'm ready to set the mic up again now, okay, in these georgia woods, yeah, and just record some new stuff. Um, I'm always working with artists. Yeah, I've got like a direct um beat club. So if you want to go on my instagram, you can join that and you get beats sent out to you every every week. Yes, hit the link in bio, you'll see the ssk beat club.
Speaker 1:That's it, man. It's all that direct to consumer. Because it's tough out here. Sometimes this middleman, he's out of rhythms they push, the people aren't getting the music, and you know. So we want to just go direct to consumer, cut out the middleman. Yeah, and that's how we've been doing it for the last few years listen.
Speaker 2:Well, y'all heard it here first. We got SSK. Is this your first interview in the States?
Speaker 1:No, your first podcast, my first podcast like that, yeah, yeah, yeah. In fact, no, I did a podcast. I keep calling it radio. It was a podcast in Phoenix. Okay, over there In Georgia, am I your first in Georgia?
Speaker 2:First in Georgia. Y'all All right him. Make sure that you stay tuned to his music, to his AI programs that he's teaching and just to the different things that he's doing, because it is something really, really special it's so special E-Man.
Speaker 1:You see what I did there.
Speaker 2:See, see, it was all planned. Awesome, glad that you could be here. Listen, this has been another episode of I'll Just Let Myself In With your Girl, lish Speaks. Y'all know what it is the podcast where we don't wait for an imaginary permission slip or some seat at an imaginary table. I want to encourage you if you've enjoyed what you've seen today, go ahead and share it with a friend. Leave us a review, a like, a comment. Let people know what you're learning here and we'll see you back on the next one. Peace, that's it. Don't bring no drama my way. Don't bring no drama my way. Yeah, I might have a crackdown. Don't bring no drama my way. Don't bring no drama my way. Don't bring no drama my way.