I'll Just Let Myself In
"I’ll Just Let Myself In" is an empowering new podcast dedicated to people who are ready to take a chance on themselves and forge their own path. Hosted by Lish Speaks, each episode explores personal stories, triumphs, and challenges of navigating industries from the “outside-in.” From entrepreneurship to career advancement, self-care to self-discovery, this podcast provides candid conversations, practical advice, and inspirational anecdotes to motivate listeners to embrace their identity, defy societal norms, and pursue their dreams unapologetically. Join us on this journey as we celebrate the strength and tenacity of our guest and hopefully ourselves! It's time to take a chance on yourself and Let Yourself In!
Video version available on the @lishspeaks Youtube channel
I'll Just Let Myself In
Your Gift Isn’t Late, It’s Loading - Into Acting w/ Atika Greene
The moments that test you most often happen in plain sight: a friend books the role you wanted, a residual check reads one cent, and the phone stays quiet after a big win. Today we sit with actor and creator Atika Greene to unpack what it really takes to keep going when your timeline doesn’t match your talent. From Brooklyn grit to Hollywood realities, we get honest about comparison, craft, and the courage to work in between the work.
Atika shares how theater roots and improv training shaped her approach to “no small roles,” including the mindset behind turning a single line into a memorable beat. We dig into audition strategy and character prep you can actually use—reading context, mapping the who/what/why, and moving the story with intention. We also talk transparently about choosing sobriety beyond a trend. After a dry month stretched past 200 days, Atika breaks down the clarity, social shifts, and confidence that came from networking without a crutch. If you’ve ever felt like you needed a drink to belong in the room, her insights will meet you where you are.
We challenge a major myth: reps aren’t saviors. Agents and managers matter, but they won’t do 100% of the job. Your career moves when you move it—by building proof on social media, pitching yourself, stacking small wins, and staying visible when the buzz dips. We explore the long game too: sci‑fi dreams, Black futures on screen, and writing or producing your own lanes when gatekeepers stall. If imposter syndrome has been loud, you’ll leave with a calmer plan: ten sentences after a long shift, one improv class, a month of posting your craft, and a commitment to keep showing up.
If this conversation fuels you, subscribe, share it with a creative who needs a push, and leave a review to help more people find the show. Your next door might be closer than you think—keep knocking.
Send us a text with your thoughts, feedback, or questions for the host!
I feel it. I know that I'm meant to do this. I know that I'm still doing it for a reason. So it's like, all right, girl, we're gonna have our 24 hours. Well, they say Beyonce be crying for 24 hours. I don't know. Let me have our 24 hours and we're gonna get up tomorrow and do something else that's gonna shift the energy. And yeah, that's that'll be how that helps.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. I'll give you a moment. I've said this on other episodes, and I'll say it again. The industry is small, it's big, but it's small. Yeah, yeah. So a lot of times when you don't go get something, you know the person who got it, right? Especially when it comes to acting, because they're looking for a certain type of girl. So if they're looking for a dark skin girl, it's about 15 of y'all in the room, and y'all been seeing each other at every audition. And I know for me in the media space, and something didn't go my way, you know, I would have to see someone else who I know or at least know distantly, um, follow on social media, get the opportunity, and it caused so much character growth in me. Because you have to fight jealousy, envy, you have to fight comparison. What is it about me? Why am I good enough? Why didn't they choose me? You have to fight the thoughts of I need to change everything about myself. And it's like, no, because the things about yourself are what have gotten you the other things that you have gotten, so you don't need to change those things. What's up, everybody? It's your girl Lish Speaks, and welcome back to another episode of I'll Just Let Myself In, the podcast where we don't wait for an imaginary permission slip or some seat at an imaginary table. We let ourselves into our God-given doors. Y'all know what I like to do here. When I do bring you a guest, when it's not a solo episode, when someone is sitting on the couch, I like for it to be someone who embodies what we talk about here, someone who lets themselves in, someone who doesn't wait for opportunities to find them, but goes out and finds the opportunities. Every now and then, I get to have someone on the couch who I actually have known for a long, long, long periodological time, okay? And today is one of those days. Sitting on the couch with me, I have an actor, an entrepreneur, a creator, someone who works between the work. And I'm very excited for you all to hear the story of. I'm introducing to some, but reintroducing to others. None other than Miss Atika Green. Welcome to the couch. Thank you.
SPEAKER_02:It's the long periodical period.
SPEAKER_01:We've known each other for 20 years. Yeah, that's crazy. Probably more than that. A little maybe 20, 22 years. Yeah, but we still look good. That period, okay?
unknown:Period.
SPEAKER_01:Um, it's funny because when I think about you as a teenager, not much has changed. But it's good. In a very good way. Like sweet spirit, funny, beautiful smile, light up a room, um, ambitious, audacious, uh, just beautiful and bright. And I'm just so glad that life hasn't beaten that out of you. So congratulations to you for that. Thank you. Yeah, man.
SPEAKER_02:Thank you. Welcome to the couch. That's a real thing. Thank you.
SPEAKER_01:It is a real thing. It's a real thing. Yeah, so it can. So, Otica, you're from Brooklyn. Yeah. Like me. And growing up in Brooklyn, you know, teaches you so much about grit and tenacity, standing up for oneself, you know, in your current career, which is acting and creating. What does being from Brooklyn, you know, how do how does this a better question, how does being from Brooklyn influence how you show up in this world?
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, I think to your point, like definitely you grew up with a lot of grit. You grew up in the cold, like, you know, you can survive a lot and go through a lot, deal with a lot of things. So in this industry, you face a lot of no's, a lot of doors closing in your face. And you do have to have that same energy, keep showing up with that same energy daily, even when you don't want to, even when you're tired, even when you feel like nobody's gonna give you your yes. I'm from Brooklyn. What's up? I'm still here, you know?
SPEAKER_01:So yeah, absolutely.
unknown:For real, for real.
SPEAKER_01:And it's crazy because I remember when you decided you wanted to be an actress. Really? Yes, I remember. I remember when you were going away to college, uh, and we were all asking you, like, what do you want to do? And you were like, I want to be an actress. And you know me, I'm with it. I'm like, bet she's gonna be an actress. Like, you know, but did you face any, you know, opposition or people questioning, whether it be family, friends, anybody, did you face anyone questioning that choice? Because I feel like you didn't like most people come to that choice after they've tried what they feel is traditionally acceptable. And then it's like, but no, in my heart, I really want to be an actor. You were like straight out the gate, I want to act.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:So did you face any opposition from that? I mean, I did. And to be honest, I told my parents I was going to school to study psychology, which was in alignment with acting, honestly. It really was just knowing like the way people think, like their brain and things like that. But yes, I caught a lot of opposition because, you know, I was gonna be one of the first people in my family to do something like that. And everybody's looking at me like, okay. And I mean, I was probably I should have looked at myself like that too, because it's not easy, but it's worth it. But anyway, yeah, I definitely faced that. Um I'm glad I went for it. But a lot of people were kind of just not sure how it would happen because, like I said, nobody else kind of laid the brickwork for that. So I was gonna be the pioneer of that in my career. I mean my family. Yeah. And you're Caribbean, right? Um, I have some roots in there, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Was it some of that? Like, you know, because I'm black American. Yeah. I feel like black American parents, they just want you to be all you can be, right? No, 100%. But I feel like Caribbean parents, it's like you need to be an engineer, a doctor law. So did you have any of that going on in the house?
SPEAKER_02:Honestly, not so much because like it's just my my grandparents who kind of have those roots. My godmom, they, you know, influenced me a lot. But my parents, they're from Brooklyn, I'm calling, you know. So definitely, that's it's still that same energy. You know, we all come from the African diaspora. So it's still like, what do you think was over here? Let's love the tussle. There you go. I love the tussle. No, for real, no, for real. We all we all one and the same. For real. Let's hold it down. But no, I they definitely were given, like, okay, are you sure you want to do that? Like, what kind of life will you have? What kind of stability will you have outside of, you know, not being something more traditional, a doctor or a lawyer, engineer, stuff like that. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:It's funny because I feel like, um, not I feel like I've been watching you from a distance. We've been watching each other. Yeah. We see that for sure.
SPEAKER_02:For sure.
SPEAKER_01:Um, and we'll comment on each other's stuff, we'll DM, you know, laughing the DMs and things like that. But I feel like I've seen so many of your highlights because that's what social media does, right? It shows when you did get booked. It shows when you are in the trailer, it shows when, you know, you you did make an appearance and when your lines did make the cut and all that stuff. Uh, but I'm quite sure there's so many things that I, that we, your audience and friends just have not seen. And when I was looking through your social media uh preparing for this interview, I realized, wow, she really does work in between the work. So things like creating series or doing um, you know, social media influencing and talking about brands and doing different types of skits, you know, working in between the work. When did you realize that, okay, I get booked now and then, but it's gonna take a little more than that. When did you realize that? We got time. Okay, love it.
SPEAKER_02:Um, I feel like I realized that pretty early on, to be honest. Like after leaving New York and going to LA, I was really faced in the middle of like Hollywood and seeing what it was like to be a working actor, but also an actor that didn't work. A lot of my friends, me and myself, like, we know what it's like to not work and to book, you know. And I think that's something that kind of drew me to social media because I do see a lot of people being very transparent about their lives and the things that they're going through. And I wanted to showcase some of that too, because it's like, yeah, like you said, you show the highlights on social media, but it's important for people to see that it's not always like this. You know what I mean? I get one cent checks from SAG sometime. Like, you know, the residuals don't, you know, don't always hit like they need to. So I think that from the beginning, I just realized that, you know, it's gonna take a lot more. I may have a lot of wins in different areas. You may look from the outside, like, oh, she's done this, but I'm still working as a bartender. I'm still trying to, you know, create content, which is something I saw could be a lane to kind of at least open up some doors so people could get to know, okay, who is this girl? Yeah. Oh, and she does this too. Awesome, you know? Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:And I think you're so good at it. And I, it's something that I really fight with as well, because, you know, we were joking before we turned the cameras on, but I just want to wake up and be Oprah, or Chevy Shepherd, or Tamrin Hall or something, you know, but that's not how it works. And the truth is that's not how it worked for them either. Yeah. The thing is, we just didn't see their journey because it wasn't on social media. Yeah. Right. And I think with us, people are no longer looking for talent if the talent isn't already present online. That's what it feels like, at least. You know, like it feels like you can't get discovered unless you show up online. And so what I always share with creators, entrepreneurs, you know, social media influencers is like, listen, even if you don't want to do social media, do social media for what you do want to do. Okay, you do want to be a singer.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:All right, well, do the social media for that version of you. You do want to rap, you do want to act, you do want to own a restaurant. Okay, well, show up for that. Because people ask me, how do you stay consistent with content? How do you do that? I'm doing this so that I can be Shavi Shopper.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, I know, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:And have a team of people doing my research. And you know how much research I do when you people come sit on this couch. I can't wait to have a team. My husband always has, he's like, You still gonna do the research, even when you have a team, because that's just who you are. But maybe a little less. Yeah, you know, I'm doing the social media part for the thing that I actually do wanna do. So it's just like it gets hard, it gets tiring because the thing about it is then you still gotta show up and do and do the thing, right? You gotta do social media and you still gotta know your lines, right? And you still gotta go bartend and you still gotta like you still gotta do all the things. But I just appreciate the effort that you put forth. And I think it's also really cool, you know, like when I see you book things, I feel like it's a win for all of us. Like, I'm like, look at my girl, like, look at my girl, law and order, look at my girl, insecure, like look at her, you know what I mean? And so, how did it feel for you to book those things and other things that you I was on IMBD? I was like, oh, she she worked. She be working. I do. Um how does it feel when you book something that you know everyone's gonna see? You know, how does that feel?
SPEAKER_02:It feels good, honestly. It feels like, you know, my work isn't in vain. I think that a lot of times I have to remind myself as the actor and the artist, like, okay, this is a win. Like, you know, whether or not it's what you said, you know, you want to be Oprah. I want to be my old Davis. You know what I'm saying? Like, whether it's that, it's still a win. So it feels really good because I have to really sit with myself and remember, like, there were times when those were the things that you prayed for, those are the things that you really wanted and you didn't get them, right? So now you're here. What does that feel like? So it's a lot of gratitude and just remembering where I really came from, you know? Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:I think one of the things for me, and I don't know if you can relate to this, is I have to remind myself that there are people who were doing this longer than me who haven't had the opportunities I've had.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Like the opportunities that I have feel small because I have such big dreams. But I'm like, yo, there's people who started podcasting before you who haven't had the level of guests that you had, who haven't gotten picked up by, you know, a serious XM station, who haven't, you know, done these things. There's people who, when I was heavy in music, you know, there's people who've been rapping longer than you who haven't, you know, been in the offices that you've been in and been played in front of the people that you've been played in front of and performed for the for the um you know industry people that you like. There's people who've been doing this longer than you and haven't. You are graced and blessed. And you're also gifted because the cream rises to the top, honey. Hello. They're not putting you on the show for charity. Yeah. You know, like I don't feel bad about my blessings because I'm like, they're not, they're not doing charity. They didn't put me on serious exam for charity. Hello. I'm good. No, you're right about that.
SPEAKER_02:You know, how many people tried, like you said, to get to that point, even like for the roles that I consider, oh, this is a small role. Like, thousands of people or whatever number of people have auditioned for this one line. Yeah, and I got that opportunity. So that to your point, that's some real stuff. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:And I heard you say on um or saw you right on a post, you were talking about five things you've learned about acting. And one of them you said is there is no small role, right? No role is beneath you. When did you realize that, okay, I may not be the star in everything that I auditioned for, but I can still bring it with this one line. Because let me just say this, right? And I know you probably get this all the time, but those two, three words you said, that's it, that shirt on insecure, like legit, you delivered that scene, you know. So, how did you, or when did you learn that? Okay, no matter if I'm saying one line, one word saying nothing, I'm going to be something that people remember. Where'd you learn that?
SPEAKER_02:I want to say on the set of insecure, to be honest. Like, that was my first television debut. I had never done anything to that level before. So being on that set with just amazing people, collaborators, like everyone was so nice. And I still felt like a star, whether I was or not, you know. And honestly, we went crazy. Thank you. We went nuts.
SPEAKER_00:Everybody was like, Yeah, you seem to take them in Austin into each other.
SPEAKER_02:Especially because that show was just so like pivotal for every all our community in general. So it was just amazing to be a part of something like that. That's you know, it's no longer here, but I can at least say in history I was a part of it, you know.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, it is so many people's comfort show. Yeah, you know, like people watch it, and it's like even sometimes when I made him watch it on our honeymoon because he had never seen it. I was like, if you're gonna be married to me, you you you gotta watch this video. You know, I know y'all super save people, y'all never seen it, just keep scrolling past this part. But I watched this video and I was like, we're married now. We can watch this together because I be telling jokes from insecure, and you have to get what I'm saying. Um, and even then, it's like I almost forgot you were there, and then when you came up and screamed, I'm like, oh, maybe that's my right, like, you know, and it's just so cool to see you, to see you one in those moments. And I think that it's so cool, you know, to push past the ego, which tells you that something is not big enough or not good enough, and say, Oh, I'm gonna do what needs to be done. Um I really envy you a little bit, and I'm gonna tell you why. Right? I love acting. Okay, but when I tell you it terrifies me, really, it terrifies me. So I actually never told this story. Tasha Smith did an acting course here in Atlanta when I first moved, right? It was$500 and I did not have$500. I probably didn't have$50. Okay. I I moved from New York after New York chewed me up and spit me out. I had gone through some crazy stuff, and the Lord was like, it's time for you to go. My mother was like, just come, just come to Atlanta. Came to Atlanta. I reached out to friends and family. Some of y'all remember, because some of y'all were the people that I asked. Hey, I'm trying to go to this acting, you know, seminar. It was a weekend long. And you know, if you whatever you can give, and people sent me money, cash apps, and helped me get there. And she was incredible. And it's so funny because this is no shade to any of the roles, you know, she's played, but she always played such a loud, you know, especially then, yeah, you know, whatever that you forget, like that that takes technique. You know, you think she's just being herself. No, that takes technique. So when she was teaching, I was like, whoa, she's good, but it scared me because I said to myself, I can't do this. She talked about having not uh not judging the character, you know, and it's so funny because she'd be like, listen, all y'all Christians up in here, I'm gonna tell y'all right now, don't come up here telling me you you won't curse. Don't come up here telling me, you know what I mean, you know, and it was it was just challenging to me. I'm still not there. I'm like, uh, maybe I just want to be in Christian films. Um but which is a thing. Yeah, you know what I mean? Um, what up, Priscilla Shire? Holla at me, Kendrick Brothers, holla at me. You know what I'm saying? Um, I could be somebody youth minister. Hello. You know what I'm saying? Um, but um it it terrifies me. And so when I look at people like you who are able to investigate a character, even if it's just one line and create a world for them where that person might be coming from, who they are, what they're gonna do after they say this line, and bring all that into that scene, I'm like, man, I wish I could do that. It's really cool.
SPEAKER_02:Girl, this is uh what you do right here scares me. So look, we all want the same on that because yeah, I don't know. But I think for that, for me, it's an escape. Like, I'm not myself. So I don't really think about like I know once I go into whatever role it is, it's not me anymore. You know, I get to take off a tika and become whoever else. So I think that's what kind of attracted me to acting in the first place because I was kind of more of a shy person when I was growing up, still a little shy, even you know, though I'm an actor. But it allowed me to like, wow, okay, someone else's emotions. Or I could use some of the things that I have pent up and put it into the character. So for me, it was like a therapy in a way, you know.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, you talk about wanting to be the next Viola Davis. Oh my god. That's our girl. That's that's my cousin. I'm gonna say her first. That's my cousin. I'm for real, though. That's my cousin, yeah. It's like remove, remove. No, no, for real. So Viola does a lot of drama, yeah, intense acting. Yeah, but when you watch her in the interview, she's actually a really funny person. Hilarious. And I feel like you're very funny as well. Like you talked about being shy when you were younger. You were shy, but you were always funny. Always funny. Um, I we have inside jokes with that by Sam's gonna be corny to you. I can literally say one word, and I know you were cracking up right now. But always funny. Um, and I feel like I can see you doing drama and comedy. Do you have a preference?
SPEAKER_02:Hmm. I don't think I have a preference. I really do like drama. Like that's my I love to cry. I love to get it all out. But honestly, I started doing improv in Los Angeles, and that kind of got me a lot more comfortable doing comedy. So I have a love for between both, but you know, comedy has a little bit of drama in it. You know, drama is is done well when it has a little bit of comedy in it. So they kind of marry, you know?
SPEAKER_01:That's true, that's true. How do you feel about the stage versus the sound stage, right? How do you feel about film uh versus the live stage?
SPEAKER_02:I love theater. Honestly, like those are my roots. That's where I learn how to act on the stage. I feel like every actor should do theater before they touch the screen, you know, but the screen gonna pay the money. So I'm trying to get a check or two. Yeah. But I'll do Bro Way if they want me there too, you know. I really, yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, yeah. Do you continue to train? Like, do you keep taking classes? How do you decide, you know, all right, I think I need to work on this area of my gift right now versus something else?
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, I think that I'm due for a class right now. I definitely am in the I'm I'm usually a person that is like always studying, but you know, I've been in transition a lot lately. So I haven't really had the chance like I would like to. So when I'm not studying, I'll read some plays or you know, I do audition regularly. Thank God for that. So that does keep me in the mix of still, you know, working characters, but definitely believe I should be if I had the the coin like I would like right now, it's coming, it's coming, it definitely is. I received that. I would be in classes a lot more often, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, yeah. What do you think classes give you that? And this is more for someone watching who wants to act. I have a young lady that I mentor who wants to act. I actually need to introduce you to her. She's a high school senior, brilliant young lady, but she's trying to figure out, you know, public speaking and all that. So when someone is not taking class or hasn't done improv, right, tell them what it will offer them to help them in the season when they are booking.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, it's like going to the gym. You know what I mean? You don't go to the gym, you're gonna lose the muscle of the definition, all the things you work towards. So it's the same thing in acting. Like it's a muscle, it's a craft. So you have to stay grounded in that and doing something that's going to, you know, help you work on what it, whether it's improv. Like I said, improv is an amazing skill that I feel like every actor should have because you can we do improv, we do improv right now. Like, you know what I mean? Everyday life is improv, but improv is my life. Seriously, no, seriously, you know, this is improv, all everything we do, so it's it's gonna keep you sharp when it comes to being on set where they might say, Hey, we're changing the script today, or you know, I remember being on set one time. I did um this movie with Bradley Cooper, and um he basically changed it. We did some improv on scene, and that all the lines that I did for the audition didn't even make the actual film. Only thing that made the film was uh was improv. Which and I'm like, oh, okay, cool, you know, but I'm able to like hop in and do that because of my training. So yeah, it's gonna keep you sharp, it's gonna keep you ready always, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:And and on top of that, you know, how do you prepare? How would you, how would you teach someone to prepare for scenes? You know, when it comes to, hey, you're gonna get a script, your character may have several lines, they may have one. This is how you should prepare. What would you tell them?
SPEAKER_02:Hmm. I would say read the scene, read the script. If they gave you the script, kind of see like where this character is as far as like, is it page four? Is it page 40? Where are they at? You know what I mean? If it is a character that may be a co-star or like, you know, someone who's not the star of this of the show, that's okay. But see how they're gonna move the story along because it's if it's focused on whoever that character, the main character is, you're still important. Your your role is still pivotal because you're moving that story along, you know. So I think that's the biggest thing, like really knowing who you are, where you are, what's going on, why are you there? Um, those questions, the who, what, when, where, why, all of it all will help you kind of like at least get grounded in it. And then if you're the star, you know, you have a lot more range to kind of play with, all right, this is where I'm at now, let me give them to them, versus, all right, we're in the beginning of this, of this uh story, you know what I mean? So really knowing the character and where they are.
SPEAKER_01:I love that. What is your dream role? Like, let's say you have your, you can write your own ticket, right? You can film anywhere in the world, any cast in the world, tell whatever story. What does that look like?
SPEAKER_02:Hmm, I have a few, but um, I would love to be in Woman King too, if I was Davis again. Um, but uh dream role, honestly, I would like to do some sci-fi. Like, I I I used to um take karate growing up. So, like anything where I could showcase my combat skills, like maybe something in another um galaxy. Like I've been watching a lot of Star Trek. Like, I really grew up watching a lot of sci-fi, so I'm attracted to that and just seeing like black people in those types of environments. Like, I I love it. So anything where I could I could be like just super intelligent, leading the people in a way. Yeah. Yeah, I could definitely see that.
SPEAKER_01:You know who talks a lot about black people in the future? Erica Alexander from Living. Yes. She talks a lot about wanting to produce, you know, film and television that show us not just in the past or present, but in the future. And I think that that's so important because a lot of sci-fi, at least the ones that we had growing up, did not exhibit us. And people joke, but they say it's because people live in the future without us, you know. And I think it is so important for us to tell stories that center us in all times and spaces. Absolutely. Because sometimes I feel like, and I don't know if you feel this way as an actress, I would imagine you will. We are so, as black women, bound to reality. Yeah. Like, we can't just be flight. It's like a black girl wouldn't act like that. How do you know? Yeah. There's there's a black girl out there that acts like that. A black girl wouldn't wear that. How do you know? Yeah. Like, why can't we suspend reality in film and television? Um, and I think it's just important. I feel like the times are coming, things are, you know, progressing in that way. But I would love to see you in something like that. That would be awesome. Any place in the world that you want to film that you haven't?
SPEAKER_02:You know, honestly, I just visited South Africa last year. And I was in uh Cape Town and Johanna. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And Boomalanda, okay, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Isn't Cape Town given like New Orleans? No, seriously. What a yeah, yeah. I was like, oh, whoever like designed and created the feeling of New Orleans, they they they can't their ancestors came from.
SPEAKER_02:No, true, truly. It'll be amazing to film out there. Like it's yeah.
SPEAKER_01:I love that. Are you working on anything with other independent artists? Is that a goal of yours? Do you see yourself writing and producing feature films or short films?
SPEAKER_02:I do. I think that it's like something that I know is in the back of my like head, heart, it's there. I just haven't really sat down and done it. And also, a lot of imposter syndrome just shows up.
SPEAKER_01:I know I got- you need to call me more.
SPEAKER_02:I will.
SPEAKER_01:I'm real good at talking people out of imposter syndrome. Okay. It's like my specialty. Well, look. My friends call it a lish speech.
SPEAKER_02:Okay. I need that. For real, for real. Because I've been hearing it. I know that it, I know it's gonna take me to a place that I probably am a little fearful to get. I think that's just being honest. Like, I know I look at people like Issa, and like to be honest, just to see how much she's created, and it's so inspiring. Even watching her from Awkward Black Girl, just that journey. And I was awkward black girl, like Stan, watching that in college when it came on, you know. So even so it's definitely a dream of mine to be, to do something like that for myself. So I need to do it.
SPEAKER_01:What do you feel like is stopping you? Obviously, you said imposter syndrome, but like give me more. What's what's that about?
SPEAKER_02:I think that besides imposter syndrome, I don't think. That's a good question. I think that I just haven't I just haven't done it. I haven't sat down and really just said, okay, this is what you're gonna do. And I think that I've allowed myself to be in survival mode, survival mode, keep going, keep going, keep going, versus like less, and it's not even allow myself, that's just look, we live in a site, I gotta work, you gotta do what you gotta do. But it's also possible to make time to do those things as well. So, you know, as we were talking earlier about wearing all these hats, doing, you know, being a creative, an entrepreneur, an actor, and a bartender, whatever, you know, all these things. That's still a part of me as well. So finding the space to do it and really taking the time, like, how bad do you really want to do the thing, you know? So yeah.
SPEAKER_01:I was just talking about this with my last guest, and I've said it on several episodes, so my audience knows, but you know, 24 hours in a day is enough time for you to chase your dream and face your reality. I got that from Charlemagne. After he said it, I was like, ugh. Because we think, like, man, if I had more time, if I was a full-time creator, if I didn't have to work, and it's like, no, you're gonna do exactly you'll just be wasting more time. Yeah, you're right. Because what you do with your time when it's yours, now, granted, there are real factors. If you work a 10-hour shift, you need to come home and sleep. That's fair, right? But then what do you do when you wake up before your next shift? How early do you wake up? Like, what's the plan? And I think when it comes to you, um, I'm not gonna give you a list of speech on camera, but I will give you one when the show is over. Um what I will say is the enemy will fight to keep you distracted when he knows that you have something to give the world that'll heal it. And it's not always Christian content that will heal the world. I believe insecure has brought healing to the world. Some Christians would shudder at that. But this is truth. You know what I mean? I think about a show like Living Single. Living Single is my comfort show. It's actually hard for me to fall asleep without it, right? And my husband's like, you need to talk to the lady because that's crazy. I don't get it. Like, once he falls asleep, my headphones go on it and Sinclair, somebody who's gonna talk me asleep. Legit. It is bad. But the reason that it is is because when my grandmother was sick and dying, I would watch Living Single and go to sleep. But my sister has been in the hospital several times in my life. I would put on Living Single to go to sleep. During the pandemic, Jackie Ina got me through the pandemic because I would just literally watch her do her makeup and talk about things. And I wasn't even trying to learn makeup, I'm just learning how to do my makeup now. But I just liked her content, and it was something to watch. There is something about you doing what you're supposed to do that brings healing to the world, and I really do believe that the enemy fights those of us who have it. Yeah, the people that don't got it, you know, they get on, you know, TikTok and make a mukbang. No shade. Do what you gotta do to get your viewers. But you understand what I'm saying. You know, there are different levels of content that doesn't mukbangs probably heal somebody too. Somebody on there, all the millions of people watching it, somebody got to, you know. I'm like, we did listening to people eat become helpful. My skin is crawling. But you know, some people love it, lots of people love it. But you know, I just don't want you to ever fall prey to waking up one day and feeling like, where did the time go? Yeah, you know. The beautiful thing about acting, and I feel the same way about my career in media, and if I ever decide to stop being so afraid to act, is that you can do it at any age. Yeah, you don't age out of it. Yeah. You know, one of the things that scared me the most when I was doing music was I just kept feeling like I was getting too old. What to do? I'm aging out, you know, and even that has changed. Because when you look at people like a Jackie Hill Perry or Linnell Grant or even secular rappers like Cash Doll, nigga, and I like we old. Like everybody, everybody in their late 30s, 40s, you know, so it's a little different now. But 10 years ago, 30 something years old rapping, and you haven't made it, girl, hang it up, okay? Yeah, and I think one of the reasons that I do media so well and so freely and so audaciously is that I don't feel like I'm on a timer. Like I told my my agency, I said, yo, we can build this for the next 10 years, and that was. Still be early for me to be the host of a daytime television show.
SPEAKER_02:Yes.
SPEAKER_01:I would still be considered young in 10 years. So let's just build it. You know, I'm like, listen, only a few people get it, you know, in our space. Oprah had it for a very long time. You know, we got Sherry Shepard Tamarin. Ianla had the inspirational space. Tab got it right now. I said, one more person can have it. But after them, it needs to be me. My agency was like, okay, we hear you. You know, I'm like, that's the goal. Do you want to know what I want from y'all? That's what I want from y'all. Come on now. After Tab, one more person can have it. And then I need to have it. I need to be the inspirational black voice. You know, and whether that's in a Christian space or secular space, that's I'll let God decide that. But the truth of the matter is I know what I have, and so I just gotta stay the course. You know, and I think with acting for you, I said it wasn't gonna be on camera, but I'm giving you the little speech on camera. You gotta stay the course. Yeah. You know what I mean? Because you could pop in 10 years.
unknown:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:And it was, I know. But no, you're right. But what if the 10 years is the Oscars and the Emmys and the house and the car and the, you know, you having your own situation where you could put other actors on and look at what Ava DuVernay is doing with her right. Like, what if it's that? Then it's worth the 10 years. Yeah. You know, but you ain't gonna get there if you if you stop. It's true. You know, and so I just I just want to encourage you, chad. This may even make the episode, but I want to encourage you, like push. You get off work, I don't care if you write 10 sentences, write them. You know what I mean? I don't I don't care if you only can go to one improv because it was$15 and everybody there sucked because they've never acted in anything there before, but you went and you got it off. Like push. Yeah. You hear me? I do. Okay. I do, I really do. Okay, good, good. I need that. So let's let's keep going in this round when it's hard, when it's slow, when you auditioning, and and the auditions ain't auditioning. How does your faith, your prayer life, how does it play into getting you through those times?
SPEAKER_02:I cry, I cry. Um I do talk to God. I do, I I just cry and talk to God because sometimes I don't know what else to do, you know. It's like you get you get close to so many things and have opportunities that seem like the, you know, the thing you want, and then no, actually, we're just kidding, or no, this isn't a thing. So I honestly don't ever know what else to do besides talk to Cotton Car about it. I'm a very like emotional person. Um I am um newly in a sober space.
SPEAKER_01:Uh you know, it's been 200 days, right? Yeah. Not not drinking.
SPEAKER_02:Not drinking. And um, you know, I realize how much that is in our culture too, where it's like you're having a rough day, let's do that, whatever, you know. But I know that I need more than that. You know, that's not doing anything for me, but taking me lower than where I need to go. So it's been very interesting dealing with things in that space, but I think it has allowed me to lean on God a lot more than I have, and I know I need him, you know.
SPEAKER_01:So absolutely. Um, I'm so proud of you.
SPEAKER_02:Thank you.
SPEAKER_01:You could cry, it's okay. I think it's really, really good because, you know, life life. Yeah. And like you said, you're getting a one cent royalty check. I, you know, I get my BMI statements quarterly, and sometimes it literally don't even be$10. Come on out, yeah. I'm like, in four months, it's in three months, like what? Yeah, you know, and I've had songs on television shows and all sorts of things. And sometimes it's greater, you know. Shout out to Holy Culture, you know. Get listen, artists, get your music played on a serious XM station. The checks are different. I'm gonna say that. Okay, but not all the time, yeah, you know, and so when those moments come, I think it is a beautiful thing to be able to cry and tell God, I'm mad, I'm sad. This ain't this ain't the way I thought it was gonna be, but I'm not quitting.
SPEAKER_02:I'm not quitting. I think that's that's go back to what we told me earlier about being for Brooklyn, like, you know, not just not even on a funny tip, but like, dang, like I just can't give up as much as I want to sometimes. Like, I'm this close at times, and I'm just being very frank, you know. But I feel it. I know that I'm meant to do this, I know that I'm still doing it for a reason. So it's like, all right, girl, we're gonna have our 24 hours. What they say, like Beyonce be crying for 24 hours. I don't know. Let him have about 24 hours, and we're gonna get up tomorrow and do something else that's gonna shift the energy. And yeah, that's that'd be that helps.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, I'll give you a moment. So I'll talk a little bit about my posture with this in terms of my faith. I've said this on other episodes, and I'll say it again. The industry is small, it's big, but it's small. Yeah, so a lot of times when you don't go get something, you know the person who got it, right? Especially when it comes to acting, because they're looking for a certain type of girl. So if they're looking for a dark skin girl, it's about 15 of y'all in the room, and y'all been seeing each other at every audition, especially when they were in person. Now people most people tape, but you you know, you know who you know, right? Um, and I know for me in the media space, um, and even when I was doing music heavy in the music space, and something didn't go my way, you know, I would have to see someone else who I know or at least know distantly, um, follow on social media, get the opportunity. And it caused so much character growth in me. Because you have to fight jealousy, envy, or you have to fight comparison. What is it about me? Why and I good enough? Why didn't they choose me? You have to fight the thoughts of I need to change everything about myself. And it's like, no, because the things about yourself are what have gotten you the other things that you have gotten. So you you don't need to change those things. And it can really like bring you down if you let it. What are the things that you do to fight when that when those types of things happen? Like, how do you get yourself out of that 24 hours and back onto being that girl?
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, I allow myself to feel the feelings, to be honest. Like, you know, I have so many friends that are in the industry doing amazing things, and I am genuinely proud of them, genuinely excited for them, of course. But that's those natural. I'm a human. Of course, it's like, well, what about me? But that those are the moments that the enemy is really like, if you keep going down in those thoughts, you're gonna keep, you know. So I really just try to feel the feelings I'm feeling. And then honestly, I just start writing a couple of affirmations, things that I know are true. Like, what's the evidence? That's been a new thing for me. Like, what is the evidence? So it's like, okay, I did do these things. Okay, you may not have gotten that, but you did do this thing. So you're still, so I have to really like write it down, you know, write down the wins that I've had to remind myself, like, okay, just because this didn't work out, it doesn't mean that you're not meant to do the career at all, or that, you know, it's something wrong with you. Yeah, that's good.
SPEAKER_01:That's good. I bet you being sober has helped with the clarity on that. Let's do it. Oh my god, yeah. Yeah. Talk to me about what brought this on. You decided, listen, I'm gonna go dry.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Um, and what has allowed you to stay 200 days, no drinks.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. Um, it honestly started with like uh dry January. Like sometimes I would do like a month or like dry January or sober October. I would do both of those. And this uh this year, January, I did it for 30 days. And then February came around and I was like, okay, I can keep going. And then March, I could keep going. And it I just kept going and it just felt good. Like, really the clarity. And I think that after the pandemic, I was over abusing it too much. I feel like I was doing it, and I realized that's not, that's just not me. Like, you know, and I didn't really like who I was becoming when I was over overindulging in the substances. So I really just wanted more clarity and to see who I could, see if I could do it, honestly. That was the tough part. But as I started to get, you know, more and more days, I'm like, this is something that I enjoy. It's tough because obviously, like I was saying, drinking is social, especially like, and you're at a networking event, you know what I mean, whatever. But I've found a joy in trying mocktails or talking to the bartender, like let's. I'm still the life of the party, you know, you would think, you know, I already have that in me. So I don't necessarily need the turn up to be the turnup, you know? Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:What's the biggest thing you've learned about yourself being sober?
SPEAKER_02:I think that I don't need the, I don't need it to be uh who I am already. Like the anxiety does come. The, you know, I think especially when it's in those spaces of people who are in my industry, like being in those networking spaces, sometimes the imposter syndrome, the thoughts, the negative thoughts do come up when you're about to walk into the room, but it really just taught me that I have it all with inside of me and really I don't need the, I don't need it. I don't need it as much as I thought I did. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:I love that. Yeah. Another thing you said on social media that I thought was really real, like really, really real, uh, was number four when you said the five things that you've learned as an actor. And number four was that reps are not your savior. Reps are not saviors. I want you to talk a little bit about this. I I have some things to say too, but I'm gonna let you talk on the actor side. Yeah. If someone is acting, they've maybe had a thing or two, and they're like, I just need an agent. I just need an agency to represent me, I just need to get on. What would you tell them about reps not being saviors?
SPEAKER_02:I know that, I know that's right. You feel like you feel like you need them, you know what I mean? And the great reps, they do amazing things, and that's awesome. But uh, someone broke it down to me like this like they take what, 15%, 20%, or whatever. They're only gonna do 15% or 20% of the job. Like it's you, it's your career. They work for you. Like, you gotta still put in the 100, 110%, and they're just an extra. They're just an addition, a cherry on top of that, you know. So yeah, I've done some great things without reps, and I've done great things with reps, you know. So they don't, they don't make, they don't make or break you, but I think it's all about what you do and the work that you put in that's really gonna take you where you could go, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Absolutely. And I think for for what I would say to whether you're an influencer, right? Your instant social media is popping and you're looking for an agency, whether you act, whether you do music, and you're like, I just need a manager, I just need a booking agent, or I just need a label, like no one is going to do more for your career than you. Yeah. And I mean that on the biggest level to the smallest level. When you look at artists who are assigned to other artists, right? Or sign the record label, the artists that do the best are the artists that put it on their back and say, Well, you know what? The label's not pushing my record, so I'm gonna get on social media and push my record. I'm gonna go to everybody's podcast. I'm like, I'm looking at Kev on stage right now, and by the time this comes out, his book will probably be out already. But the amount of podcasts that this man is doing to produce this book, he has an agent. He already has a New York Times bestseller. He could just be saying, well, it's up to the agency to push the book and we'll figure out where it goes. I have Brenda Palmer on on the couch a couple of months ago, and she was talking about how she just she's she's doing it. She's her own book tour, all this stuff. These are people with agents, people with big social media followings. But if you don't get up and do the work, it's not gonna happen. And I remember when I first realized that being signed with a major company, um, you know, being in partnership with that it wasn't gonna change anything unless I changed anything. When I realized the next day after signing that my life was still the same. Like, oh, okay. Your shows on holy culture now. Yeah. They've done their part. They're waiting on you to okay. They're not doing nothing else for you, girl. Like, you know, the beautiful thing is you can use the name, right? Like, if you're with a reputable agent or agency, sometimes that name will get you in certain spaces or their relationships will help you. It's definitely beneficial. Absolutely. But at the end of the day, you have to put in the work. You know, when I think about going to these red carpets and the different things that I do, I have to put in the work to get that stuff done. The station is not gonna push that for me. They will help me as they see me helping myself. And so I think it's really important for all of us to realize there's no magic bullet. There's no one thing that if this thing could just happen, you know, even when, like, you know, you think, oh, okay, I just wanna, I just need a big interview. Yeah. All right, so the next week, what's gonna happen to your interview? Them views gonna go right back to where they were unless you really push and make people understand why they should stay. You know, and and it's so important for us to realize that our success that the Lord grants it in a grand way is gonna be an amalgamation of many moments in our career. Even if it seems like this is the one thing that changed everything, that will be because of everything you did to get to that moment. And I think so many young people specifically, but just people who are trying to make it don't understand that. They think if this one thing could just happen, you will be very disappointed. I mean, you'll be very disappointed if you think that this one thing is just gonna change everything. It's it's not.
SPEAKER_02:You can tell me I was gonna be famous after I was on insecure. I was like, all right, well, well, okay. No, for real. No, yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:I think about when um Angela Bassett was in an interview uh not too long ago, and she was talking about how after What's Love Got to Do with it, the phone didn't ring for a year and a half.
SPEAKER_02:Yes, crazy.
SPEAKER_01:Like what? Excuse me? Yeah, no, seriously. America Alexander said the same thing. She said, after living single, the phone didn't ring for years. Crazy years?
SPEAKER_02:It's crazy.
SPEAKER_01:Maxine Shaw turning that long. You're crazy.
SPEAKER_02:Crazy, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Raised the whole generation. Yeah. But this is what happens. There's no magic. But even when you're on a show for years and years and you just have to keep doing the work. I love seeing what her and and Kim Coles are doing right now. Kim Coles are are doing right now with the rewatch, you know, situation podcast. That's called keeping yourself relevant. That's called letting yourself in, not waiting. You know what I mean? Like, we really do have so much power in this in this time to do to do great things. I want to ask you two questions. One we always end with, but I want to ask you this. In this season, where you are, you know, working in between the work, what are you looking forward to?
SPEAKER_02:I'm actually looking forward to going to New York, going home. Yeah. I um, you know, that's where I started acting at. So I feel like I really just need a recalibration moment to take some acting classes, do some new headshots, like just get back on the ground of like, this is where I started. I need that fire again. So I'm looking forward to that, to be honest.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, I think that'd be great for you too. Yeah. Just getting to be around your people. Something like being loved upon, you know, by your people. And then as far as you acting, taking classes, you know, are you looking forward to building and working in your network uh to produce content? I am. Okay. I am. Yeah, okay, good. You inspired me today. I'm not gonna lie.
SPEAKER_02:I'm gonna get it, get it together.
SPEAKER_01:All right, but we'll be looking forward to that. We'll be looking forward to that. Is there anything you want your audience or my audience to know? Anything that you haven't gotten to say yet?
SPEAKER_02:I think that I'll just end with this. Like, if you feel it in your spirit, in your heart, in your mind, you know you're supposed to do that thing. And no matter how hard it is, no matter how challenging it is, no matter how tough it feels, every door that closes, if it's still in the morning you wake up and it's the thing that you love to do and you know you want to do that thing, just do it.
SPEAKER_01:I love that. Just I love that, just do it. We ask a question here to end our show, and that question is in the grand scheme of things, what do you want your legacy to be?
SPEAKER_02:I think in the grand scheme of things, I want my legacy to be never give up. I want them to I want people to know that she never gave up, and because she kept going, I can keep going too to feel hurt and seen. That's good.
SPEAKER_01:That's good. It's funny because every time I get with somebody from my past, especially from my teen years, they be like, Lish, you always make me cry. And I don't think it's me. I think it's you remembering a younger version of yourself that that makes you emotional. This happens to Mo. You know, Mo. Yeah. Mo's like, I cry every time I'm with you. I'm like, it's it's not me. Yeah, it's you remembering who you actually are.
SPEAKER_02:I mean, you even telling me about like what you remembering when I started acting. That's like so yeah, absolutely.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I'm so grateful. Atica bought me flowers today. She is the only guest who has ever bought me flowers. My husband has been on this show twice, and he didn't bring no flowers, but he does give me flowers regularly. But no, I really appreciate it. She walked up and she said, I want to give you your flowers while you can smell them. I just appreciate your heart, who you are. I know for a fact, and I'm gonna say this on camera whether or not this makes the episode. You we will watch this episode in the next decade and be like, man, remember? Look at her now. I'm telling you, it's coming. I believe it with my whole heart. I receive that.
SPEAKER_02:Um, thank you for being here. Thank you for having me. I love you. You are amazing. I love you. I love you. I'm grateful.
SPEAKER_01:Amen. This has been another episode of I'll Just Let Myself In With Your Girlish Speaks, the podcast where we don't wait for an imaginary permission slip or some seat at an imaginary table. We let ourselves into our God-given doors. If you've listened on Holy Culture Radio, Sirius XM channel 140, 8 p.m. Eastern Standard Time on Monday nights, we thank you so much for listening there. If you watch on their YouTube, we thank you for watching there. And if you are watching on my YouTube, thanks for watching. Here, listen, make sure you subscribe. The numbers are going up. So I think you guys have been listening to me, but we still got a good percentage of people who regularly watch my content who are not subscribed. I'm gonna charge it to your head and not your heart. I think you just forgot to subscribe. But I would love for you to subscribe and join the family so that you don't miss any of the content that we post. Listen, my passion, my heart, my desire is that when you listen to this podcast, you leave feeling and courage, maybe even a little challenge, but more than anything, ready to walk through your God-given doors. This has been another episode of I Just Let Myself, and we'll be back same time, same place next week. And we'll see you then. Peace.