You and the team

The most tempting leadership move is also one of the most expensive: stepping in to fix what someone else is struggling with. When we see the answer, we jump in, solve it fast, and tell ourselves we’re being helpful. But there’s a line between helping and holding back, and once we cross it, we start training smart people to wait, hesitate, and depend on us instead of learning how to lead themselves.

I talk through why “help” can become a trap for both sides. Solving feels productive. Being needed feels like value. Yet the real result is a team that stops growing and a leader who becomes exhausted, frustrated, and stuck as the bottleneck. If you’ve ever wondered why your people can’t seem to handle things without you, the hard truth might be that they can’t because you’ve never let them.

Using John Maxwell’s idea that leaders know the way, go the way, and show the way, we zoom in on what “show the way” actually means: equip, coach, and then step back even when it’s uncomfortable, messy, or risky. To make it practical, I leave you with three sharp questions to pinpoint where you’re rescuing instead of developing, who has become dependent on you, and what could change if you trusted the process instead of being the process.

If you want stronger ownership, real leadership development, and a team that scales without constant intervention, hit play. Subscribe, share this with a leader who needs it, and leave a review with your biggest takeaway.

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Transcript

Welcome And The Hidden Line

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You're listening to the Growth Instigators Hotline. I'm Aaron Havens. This is message 552. Today we're talking about a line most leaders cross without even realizing it. And it costs them more than they know. The line between helping and holding back. You see someone struggling, you know how to fix it, you have the skills, the experience, the answer. So you step in. And it feels like leadership, it feels like the right thing to do, but what if it's not? What if every time you step in to save someone from the struggle, you're stealing their chance to grow? What if your help, however well intended, is the exact thing that keeps them dependent, keeping them stuck, keeping them from becoming capable on their own. That's the line. And most of us are on the wrong side of it because helping feels good. Solving feels productive. Being needed feels like value. But the people you're helping, they're not growing. They're waiting, waiting for you to show up, waiting for you to fix it, waiting for permission to stop trying on their own. And you? You're exhausted, frustrated, wondering why no one can seem to handle things without you. But they can't handle things without you because you never let them. The question isn't whether you're capable of stepping in. The question is whether stepping in is actually helping or just making you feel necessary. John Maxwell nailed it when he said this. A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way, and shows the way. But showing the way doesn't mean doing it for them. It means equipping them, coaching them, and then stepping back even when it's uncomfortable, even when they might fail, even when it's messy, even when every instinct in you says I should just do it myself. Because that's the only way they learn, and that's the only way you stop being the bottleneck. So here's three questions to sit with today. Where are you stepping in to help when what someone actually needs is space to struggle and learn? Question two, who in your life has become dependent on you because you've never let them fail? Oh, that one hurts. And number three, what would become possible if you stepped back and trusted the process instead of being the process? Ah, until next time, may each of us live good lives and lead good companies.