Stop Avoiding The Coach

That one name you keep ignoring isn’t a scheduling problem. It’s a mirror. Today we dig into the uncomfortable moment when a coach, mentor, advisor, or truth-telling friend reaches out and your first instinct is to disappear. If you’ve got an email sitting for weeks, a call you keep postponing, or advice you dismiss before it lands, we name what’s really happening: you’re not avoiding them because they’re wrong, you’re avoiding them because you’re afraid they’re right.

We unpack how avoidance disguises itself as “being busy” or “protecting your peace,” and why that pattern quietly locks you into the same outcomes. I talk through the difference between a coach who makes you feel good and a coach who makes you better, and why most of us default to comfort, affirmation, and familiar narratives instead of accountability and real personal growth. Growth doesn’t happen in comfort. It happens in tension, right after someone you respect points to a blind spot and you have to decide whether to lean in or run.

You’ll leave with a simple dare you can act on today: reach out, schedule the call, and stop dodging feedback that could change your life and career. If this message hits close to home, share it with someone who needs a push, subscribe for more short coaching hits, and leave a review with the one truth you’ve been avoiding.

https://growthinstigators.com/

Transcript

Welcome And The Avoidance Question

SPEAKER_00 0:00

You're listening to the Growth Instigators Hotline. I'm Aaron Havens and this is Message 567. Today we are talking about the person you've been avoiding and why that avoidance is costing you more than you realize. You know who I'm talking about.

The Truth Teller You’re Dodging

SPEAKER_00 0:17

Oh, the coach, the mentor, the advisor, the friend who sees you clearly and isn't afraid to tell you the truth. The one whose name pops up on your phone and your heart sinks because you don't want to talk yet. The one whose email just sits in the inbox for three weeks because you haven't had time to respond. The one whose advice you dismiss before they even finish the sentence because you already know where they're going and you don't want to hear

Fear Of Being Right Means Change

SPEAKER_00 0:46

it. You're not avoiding them because they're wrong. You're avoiding them because you're afraid they're right. And being right means you have to change. And change is uncomfortable, and uncomfortable feels like failure, so you ghost them. Just go quiet. You unfollow them. You tell yourselves you'll reach out when things settle down. You surround yourself with people who affirm you instead of people who grow you. And in the process, you stay stuck. Because here's the truth the coach you're avoiding already knows what you need to hear. And the longer you avoid them, the longer you stay trapped in the version of yourself that needs to hear it.

Feel Good Versus Get Better Coaching

SPEAKER_00 1:26

There's a difference between a coach who makes you feel good and a coach who makes you better. The one who makes you feel good tells you you're doing great, you're on the right track, just keep doing what you're doing. The one who makes you better tells you where you're blind, where you're drifting, where effort isn't enough and you need to evolve. And most of us, we choose comfort over growth. We choose affirmation over accountability. We choose the coach who won't make us squirm a bit. But growth doesn't happen in comfort, it happens in the tension, in the moment when someone you respect looks you in the eyes and says, You're capable of more than this. And if you have to decide, do I lean in or do I run?

Stop Avoiding Feedback And Reach Out

SPEAKER_00 2:11

Mark Goldsmith said it perfectly. If we want to change, we have to stop avoiding feedback. But avoiding feedback doesn't feel like avoidance, it feels like protecting yourself, it feels like self-preservation, and maybe it is. But what if you're pro you're preserving? What you're preserving isn't your potential, it's your limitations. So here's the dare pick up the phone, schedule a call, and stop running. That's right.

Visit The Site And Leave A Message

SPEAKER_00 2:37

You can visit me at growthinstigators.com. I am the growth instigator, and I would love to coach you, both personally or or and professionally. Leave a message after the beep. Are you avoiding a coach? And why is that?