The Cost Of Being Unteachable

You can feel it the second it happens: the realization that the person you brushed off was right all along. Not “technically right,” but right in the way that matters to leadership, culture, and results. In this Growth Instigators Hotline message, I’m Aaron Havens, and Message 591 is a short, sharp reflection on what it costs to be defensive when someone offers feedback we don’t want to hear.

I unpack the familiar pattern many leaders fall into: we defend, we argue, we prove to ourselves we can ignore the warning, and then time does what time always does. Slowly, the truth shows up in outcomes, team dynamics, and missed opportunities. The sting isn’t only being wrong. It’s recognizing the growth that could have happened sooner if we had practiced humility, coachability, and a real growth mindset instead of protecting our ego.

Then we go one layer deeper into the hidden cost of unteachability: people stop trying to help. After a few rejected attempts, mentors, peers, and teammates often go quiet. That silence can look like “everything is fine,” but it’s often resignation, and it can drain trust, candor, and learning from your organization. I leave you with one question worth sitting with today: who stopped trying to help you, and what would change if you asked them to try again?

If this resonates, share it with a leader who needs the nudge, subscribe for more, and leave a review so more people can find the show. What’s one piece of feedback you wish you’d listened to sooner?

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Transcript

Welcome To The Hotline

SPEAKER_00 0:00

You're listening to the Growth Instigators Hotline. I'm Aaron Havens, and this is Message 591. There's

The Moment You Admit They Were Right

SPEAKER_00 0:09

a moment every leader eventually faces. The moment when you finally admit that the person you dismissed was right all along. Maybe it was six months ago, maybe it was years. Someone told you something you didn't want to hear, and instead of listening, you defended. You argued. You proved them wrong, or at least you proved yourself that you could ignore them. Then time passed, and slowly you started seeing what they saw, and now you're sitting with the knowledge that they were right, and you wasted all that time being defensive instead of being teachable. That's

The Hidden Price Of Defensiveness

SPEAKER_00 0:51

a hard moment, my friends. That's a hard moment. Raise your hand if you've experienced that. Because it's not just about being wrong, it's about the version of yourself you could have been if you had listened sooner. The growth you could have had, the mistakes you could have prevented, all of it sitting in a space between your ego and your humility. The

When People Stop Offering Feedback

SPEAKER_00 1:14

cruelest part, you probably did this to multiple people. And they probably all stopped trying to help you after the few first few times you rejected their feedback. So now you're not just dealing with being wrong, you're dealing with the silence of people who finally gave up trying to reach you, teach you, show you, walk along with you. That's the real cost of unteachability. So

The One Question To Sit With

SPEAKER_00 1:41

here's one question to sit with today. I know you're the leader, I know you're doing great things. Who stopped trying to help you? And what would change if you reached out to them and asked them to try again? Huh. That's a good one.

Final Thought And Sign Off

SPEAKER_00 1:58

Until next time, may each of us live good lives and lead good companies.