Challenge Your Mind, Change The World

Netflix's Adolescence: A Mirror, A Warning, A Cry for Help?

• The Classic High School Teacher

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The Netflix series "Adolescence" has been haunting me for days - not just intellectually, but emotionally. 

This raw, unsettling portrayal of teenage struggles isn't your typical coming-of-age drama; it's a mirror reflecting what happens when adults and systems fail our young people.

Watching through both my teacher and parent lenses, I recognized the students hiding behind hoodies in classrooms and saw glimpses of my own son approaching this complex developmental stage.

 What struck me most powerfully was how accurately the series captures the neurological reality of adolescence. 

The teenage brain isn't broken or irrational - it's literally under construction. 

Their prefrontal cortex (responsible for impulse control and decision-making) is still developing until their mid-20s, while their amygdala (emotional center) operates in overdrive. This means teens feel emotional responses before they can fully process them rationally.

Medical research confirms what many parents witness: social rejection activates the same pain centers in the brain as physical injury. 

When we dismiss teenage emotions as "just hormones" or "drama," we're failing to recognize genuine neurological events shaping their development. 


The good news? Studies show that even one supportive adult relationship can significantly improve outcomes for teenagers facing challenges. 

A single trusted connection serves as a protective buffer against adversity.  


References: 

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Speaker 1:

Hello everybody, welcome back to Challenge your Mind to Change the World. I'm Francesca Hudson and today's episode well, I'll be honest, it's one that's been tugging at me, not just at my mind but at my heart, for days now. I have felt this low, persistent hum in my chest that wouldn't quiet down, a mix of sadness, urgency and deep reflection. And I knew, I knew I had to talk about it. But here's the thing I wasn't sure I could do it justice, because what I'm about to talk about is raw, it's layered and it doesn't come with tidy solutions or comforting platitudes. Today we're diving into the Netflix series Adolescence and let me just say it up front, it's not an easy watch.

Speaker 1:

This is not your typical coming-of-age drama. It's complex, it's unsettling and it's often painful, and yet it's heartbreakingly real. It cuts so close to the bone, especially if you're someone who works with teens or loves one, or used to be one, who felt misunderstood or invisible. And when watching this as a teacher, through my teacher lens, I saw the students who sat in the classrooms behind hoodies and headphones, hiding hurt behind defiance or silence. And as a mum to a son who is very fastly approaching that age, I saw my own child, his moments of confusion, of quiet, of trying to figure out who he's allowed to be in a world full of contradictions. And somewhere in the blur of those two roles teacher and mother I saw something deeper. I saw a society, one that feels like it's teetering, drifting, maybe even unraveling a little, right at the seams, where our young people are meant to feel safest, and that's why this conversation matters. This isn't a critique of a show. It's a reflection on what it reveals, what it holds up to us as adults, as a mirror, and I want us to talk about it, not with judgment, not with panic, but with empathy, with curiosity and, above all, with courage, because if we can't talk about what's really going on for our young people, then how can we ever begin to help them through it? So take a breath with me and let's go there together.

Speaker 1:

I want to start with a moment in adolescence and if you've seen it you'll know what I mean where I had to pause the scream, just stop everything, not because something dramatic had just happened, but because it was achingly familiar. It was the look on the boy's face oh, standing at this invisible fork in the road, where one path promised the illusion of acceptance and the other led to painful solitude. Neither felt good, neither felt right. But it's the scene in episode three, during the intense interaction between the 13-year-old Jamie Miller and psychologist Brian Ariston. In this pivotal moment, jamie is grappling with his emotions and decisions and he's embodying the adolescent struggle between seeking acceptance and fearing isolation. Now this scene has been widely discussed for its raw portrayal of teenage vulnerability and the complexities of youth psychology. And as I sat there staring at the screen, because I've seen that moment in classrooms, in hallways, at dinner tables, I've seen it in the pause before a kid lies to protect a friend or lashes out to protect themselves, it's the flicker of doubt, of decision, of needing so badly to get it right, even when the rules are unclear and the stakes are sky high.

Speaker 1:

This is adolescence, not the glossy version, not the TikTok trends or the high school musical aesthetic. The real stuff, the push and pull between belonging and independence, the deep, almost primal need to be seen, to be truly seen. And yet the simultaneous terror of being too exposed, the fear that if someone really knew the mess behind the mask, they'd walk away. And here's the thing science is starting to back up what our hearts have known for years. The adolescent brain is a construction site. It's not broken, not irrational, it's just in progress. The prefrontal cortex, which is the part of the brain that helps us regulate our impulses, think through long-term consequences and weigh up complex decisions, it's still under construction. It's the last part of the brain to fully mature, sometimes not until the mid-20s, so that's a long time. But meanwhile the amygdala, which is the emotional epicenter of our brains, is an overdrive for a teenager. It's the part that lights up in response to fear, anger, rejection and social threat.

Speaker 1:

What that means neurologically is that teens are feeling faster than they can reason. They're emotionally fluttered before they've even had a chance to consider why. And let's not forget what that means neurologically is that teens are feeling faster than they can reason. They're emotionally fluttered before they've even had a chance to consider why. And let's not forget every text left unread, every whispered rumor, every exclusion from a group chat those aren't just social moments, they're neurological events. To a teenager, social rejection activates the same pain centers in the brain as physical injury. It literally hurts, and that's not just me being poetic. It's actually being backed by MRI studies published in journals like social, cognitive and affective neuroscience.

Speaker 1:

So when we call our teenagers moody or dramatic or say they're just being hormonal, we're not only missing the point, we're missing a window, a window to show up with compassion, to support the scaffolding as our teenagers build themselves, because that's our job as adults not to finish the construction for them, but to make sure that scaffolding, that the scaffolding is strong enough that when they fall and they will they have something stable to hold on to. In that moment on screen, that crossroads at episode three, it reminded me how easy it is for teenagers to choose the wrong thing, not because they want to, but because they're wired to value connection over caution, risk over rejection. Teens aren't broken. They're becoming, and how we respond, how we witness, how we guide, how we stay, can be the difference between building resilience and building walls.

Speaker 1:

My take on adolescence is that it isn't just a show about teenagers. That would be far too simple. No, my viewing of adolescents is that this series is really about the ecosystem surrounding them, the adults, the systems, the scaffolding that's supposed to be there to hold them up, and in many cases just isn't. Every environment we've shown the classrooms, the bedrooms, the hallways they're stripped of life. The schools, for example, are cold. They're functional, but they're soulless. The homes are silent. Parents are present in body, but miles away in spirit. Teachers speak in monotone or noshed hall, locked behind their own walls of burnout or detachment, and none of it feels accidental to me. These aren't just aesthetic choices, they're metaphors. Putting my teacher's cap on for a minute here, visually the series screams what many teens are whispering under their breath every day. No one is really here. And that's what gutted me the most.

Speaker 1:

Because when the adults stop showing up physically, emotionally, mentally something else will take their place, and often that something else isn't safe. To give you an example, in episode two detectives visit Jamie and Katie's school to investigate the murder weapons whereabouts and they encounter a chaotic environment where teachers appear overwhelmed and they're unable to manage unruly students and it's almost like they don't have time for the detectives. The detectives kind of have to fit in around what's going on Now. This depiction highlights an educational system ill-equipped to address the complexities of modern adolescence, leaving students without the guidance they desperately need. And another example is throughout the series you'll find Jamie's home life is portrayed with haunting silence. So his parents, eddie and Manda, are physically present but emotionally distant. They're preoccupied with their own struggles and this detachment becomes painfully evident in episode four when Eddie confronts the realization that he failed to notice Jamie's online radicalization. The scene where Eddie weeps in Jamie's empty bedroom serves as a stark metaphor for parental absence and regret. The Guardian, which describes the series as an unflinching look at toxic masculinity, institutional neglect and the radicalization of vulnerable young men through online platforms. Now this theme is powerfully explored in episode three during Jamie's psychological evaluation. His fluctuating emotions and justifications for his actions reveal the insidious influence of online subcultures that prey on isolated adolescents.

Speaker 1:

Let's be clear this show isn't subtle, and maybe it shouldn't be, because the truth isn't subtle, not anymore. The rates of anxiety and depression in teens have skyrocketed in the last decade. Studies from the CDC show that by 2021, 44% 44% of high school students reported feeling persistently sad or hopeless. I can't believe. There is a staggeringly high percentage 44%, that's nearly half. And yet so many of our structures school, home policy still function as if kids are resilient enough to handle it all without support. But they're not and they shouldn't have to be.

Speaker 1:

And that brings me to what felt like the literary spine of this whole series. So many moments gave me Lord of the Flies vibes, the power struggles, the social hierarchies, morality slowly dissolving in the absence of meaningful adult guidance. But the twist is this isn't some remote island. This is happening right now in group chats, in Discord servers, in the back corners of classrooms, in bedrooms with blackout curtains and LED lights, and silence so loud it's deafening. We used to think kids needed tough love, that they had to man up, push through, figure it out. But what we're seeing, what this show makes impossible to ignore, is that when we disappear emotionally as parents and as adults, as educators, when we detach this in the name of independence, we're not raising strong kids, we're raising disconnected ones, and disconnected kids will cling to anything that feels like belonging, even if it's toxic, even if it hurts them, even if it hurts others. So, no, adolescence isn't subtle. But in a world where subtlety is ignored and cries for help are labelled attention-seeking, maybe we need the volume turned all the way up. This isn't just storytelling, this is a warning and we'd be wise to listen.

Speaker 1:

The radicalisation in adolescence isn't the kind you see in news headlines. It's quieter, it's slower. It creeps in through isolation, through the repeated message that feelings are weakness, that connection is dangerous, that power is the only path to respect and it's not just a descent into misogyny, it's a descent into numbness. And that numbness doesn't come from hate. It comes from being starved of connection, of empathy, of consistent loving boundaries. So let's look at what adolescence gets right and what it misses. Let me say this clearly. Let's look at what adolescence gets right and what it misses. Let me say this clearly Adolescence gets a lot right, almost uncomfortably so.

Speaker 1:

The emotional landscape of teenage boys, so often flattened or misunderstood in media, is rendered here with gritty precision. The pain of being stuck between childhood and manhood, this 13-year-old boy, jamie you can see it so clearly in episode three when he's battling with his emotions in front of the psychologist. The pressure to prove that you're not weak, even if it means harming others or yourself. The performance of masculinity that feels like a uniform that they didn't ask for but are expected to wear, like armor, day in and day out. It captures what it means to be young and lost, and furious and desperate to belong. The confusion, the isolation, the moments when your inner world is exploding. But all anyone sees is silence or sarcasm or rage.

Speaker 1:

And what struck me is that this isn't just a story about teenagers. It's a story about the cost of silence. The cost of adults looking away because they don't know what to say, the cost of shaming instead of supporting, the cost of saying boys will be boys, instead of asking what is really going on under there. In one of the most emotionally complex scenes, which is Jamie's psychological assessment in episode three, we see him waver between remorse and justification. You can almost feel the tug of war happening in real time, the child in him reaching out and the hardened version pulling back. It's so real it hurts. And what makes it worse is knowing. No one ever really stepped in, not before the damage was done.

Speaker 1:

But here's the thing that lingered with me long after the credits rolled when are the teachers who notice? Where are the parents who lean in instead of pulling away? Where's the adult who doesn't try to fix it all but just says I see you, I'm here, I'm not leaving and I get it. The show is deliberately bleak, a warning, not a warm hug. But still I found myself aching for just one adult who tried, just one moment where connection triumphed over detachment. Because while it's true that many teens do feel alone, it's also true that not all of them are. Some just don't know how to ask for help, some are waiting to be invited back into connection. A review from the New Yorker put it perfectly when it said the series lays bare the vacuum left by disengaged adults. Yes, absolutely. But I also wonder could the creators have shown us just one adult breaking the vacuum?

Speaker 1:

Because representation matters, and not just for kids, for us too, for the parents, the teachers, the coaches, the mentors who are trying, because if all the adults in a story are cold, numb or absent, it can unintentionally reinforce a damaging message that support doesn't exist, that it's not even worth reaching for, that it's a lost cause. But we know better, don't we? We've seen the power of one adult who stays curious instead of critical, one teacher who says hey, you seemed off today, want to talk? Or one parent who resists the urge to lecture and just listens. Studies in adolescent development have repeatedly shown that even a single stable, supportive relationship with an adult can serve as a protective factor against depression, anxiety and poor decision making. And you can look into Harvard's Center on the Developing Child and the findings from the Search Institute on developmental relationships to look into that further. So, yes, adolescence nails the reality of what happens when adults disappear. But perhaps what it misses is the hope of what could happen when just one of them shows up. And that hope matters because it reminds us that the story isn't finished, that we still get to choose how we show up, that we still get to be part of the solution.

Speaker 1:

So what do we take away from watching adolescence as parents and as educators? This part of the podcast is for us, for those of us who have chosen to stand in the orbit of teenagers, whether by profession or by love. This is where the mirror turns. If you've watched adolescence and felt your stomach twist, if your throat tightened or your chest ache, good, that means your empathy is intact. It means you haven't become numb, it means you're still in the fight, even if you don't always know what to do next.

Speaker 1:

And now comes the hard part, the question that requires honesty, not just reflection. Where are we showing up and where might we be missing the mark? Because the truth is, it's easy to slip into patterns as adults to write off a disengaged student as lazy, to dismiss a withdrawn teenager as being in a mood, to take the silence of our own child personally, as if they're pulling away from us instead of turning in with, because they don't yet have the tools to express what's going on inside. What's going on inside? As a teacher, I've been there. It's the end of the day. Your patience is one thing. You've had year nines straight after lunch and a kid acts out in a way that pushes every button you have and the reflex is to correct, to discipline, to control. But what if we paused instead? What if the question we asked wasn't what's wrong with you, but what happened to you, or maybe even what don't you know how to say right now, because often disrupted behavior is the smoke and the fire. That's pain, confusion, shame, loneliness. That's a nervous system on high alert, a heart that feels threatened, a mind overwhelmed by things that can't yet understand or explain. And as a mum, oh, this part is harder because it's personal.

Speaker 1:

When your child withdraws, when they retreat into that quiet place, it can feel like rejection. You start to worry you've lost them, that the connection you worked so hard to build is slipping through your fingers. But often that silence isn't a door closing, it's a test. Will you sit with me in this? Will you stay even when I can't explain what's wrong? Will you keep showing up, not just when I'm happy and talkative, but when I'm hurting and unreachable. And here's the good news, my friend, because I promise there is hope woven throughout all of this.

Speaker 1:

A study published in Frontiers in Psychology 2023 found that adolescents with even one supportive relationship with a trusted adult be it a parent, teacher, coach, mentor showed significantly greater emotional resilience, self-regulation and psychological well-being. One relationship, that's it. That's all it takes to create a buffer between a young person and the worst outcomes life can throw at them. So let me say it again just one adult who listens, who believes and who consistently shows up can change the child's trajectory. One, just one. It doesn't have to be perfect, it doesn't have to come with all the right words, it just has to be real, consistent, human. That's the power we hold as adults Not to fix everything, but to become a safe place, a lighthouse in the fog, a steady presence in a world that feels so often chaotic and indifferent.

Speaker 1:

And it reminds me of the first episode in adolescence when Jamie requests that his father becomes his significant person that represents him. And it's almost like that's come too late, that one significant person that his father is so desperately wanting to get right. He talks to the lawyer in the hallway and says I hope I can do my son justice. I hope I can do this right. It's that moment should have happened long before this scene and it's just. It highlights that if Jamie had had that, one adult who listened, who believed, who consistently showed up for him could change a child's trajectory. And we know that life gets busy. There's a scene in episode four when his father, eddie, talks about how the business took off and he became sidetracked with that. And if you're listening to this and feeling guilt or regret, maybe for a moment you missed or something you didn't see, please know this.

Speaker 1:

It's not about perfection, it's about presence. It's about choosing every day to tune in a little more, to slow down, to lean in. It's not too late. Our teens don't need superheroes, they need humans who care enough to notice. I just think as adults we can't look away.

Speaker 1:

Adolescence does offer tidy resolutions. There are no grand redemptions, no last minute heroic rescues or no narrator stepping in to explain the lessons. And honestly, I respect that, because this series isn't trying to entertain us. It's trying to wake us up. It's not fiction for escapism as a mirror, a warning, an invitation. It's raw and unresolved, because real life for many teens is raw and unresolved. Some of them are still in the middle of their journey. Some of them don't know they're allowed to hope for more yet and some are just surviving day by day.

Speaker 1:

Adolescence dares us to look at the parts of our culture we've ignored for too long the silent boys who slip through the cracks, the emotionally unavailable households where love exists but isn't expressed, the schools stretched so thin that connection becomes a luxury, the radicalization happening not in dark alleys, but in bedrooms lit by screens and filled with silence. It forces us to sit in the discomfort of systems that are broken, that are overwhelmed or flat out indifferent, and it shows us so painfully that it's our young people who carry the consequences. But here's the powerful truth beneath that pain If we're brave enough to face the discomfort, if we can resist the urge to look away, we've created a space for change. There's a powerful scene that first comes to light in episode three, when Jamie is talking to his psychologist about not being very good at sport and his father looking away on the football pitch, and then that's mirrored in episode four when his father talks about the same scene to his wife and also mentions how he looked away. This is a key theme. That's running through all of this is that, as adults, if we can resist the urge to look away, we create that space for change. We can start to shift the story, not all at once, not with sweeping reforms or viral slogans, but in quiet, consistent ways. We can move from fear the fear that we'll get it wrong, that it's too late, that we don't know enough to compassion, which doesn't require perfection, just presence. We can move from passivity, saying it's not my place or teenagers are just like that to action. Action that might be as simple as a question, a pause, a choice to stay when a young person pushes away. And we can move from silence to support, support that says I see you, I hear you, I don't always understand you, but I'm not going anywhere.

Speaker 1:

The greatest tragedy of adolescence isn't what happens on screen. It's the fact that for so many teens, this is their actual life, their reality, their daily experience. But it doesn't have to stay that way. We might not be able to rewrite their pasts, but we can shape their future chapters. We can be the characters who step in and don't disappear, who notice, who believe, who stay. And if this show has reminded me of anything, it's that awareness is the beginning of responsibility, Once we see what's really happening, we don't get to unsee it. And that's the power of storytelling like this it doesn't just tell a story, it asks you now what will you do with what you've seen? I'll leave you with that because I think that gets to the heart of adolescence. From what you've seen, from the literal video security cam footage of Jamie committing the crime, to the metaphorical turning away, turning the blind eye, not being able to see what is going on in our teenager's world.

Speaker 1:

And I've only just scratched the surface today with adolescence, I feel like I should do an adolescence podcast, episode two, going into all the different themes and metaphors and motifs and mirroring that goes on all the literary devices from an English teacher's point of view. But I really wanted this podcast episode today to focus on the holistic approach to adolescence, how I found it from a holistic point of view. So thank you for joining me on this very special episode of Challenge your Mind, change the World. And if this conversation stirred something in you, if you felt anger or grief, guilt or hope, please don't let it end here. Share it, reflect on it, start a conversation with a fellow parent or with a student if you're a teacher listening to this, or with your partner, with yourself, because when we choose to stay awake, when we choose not to look away, we get to be part of something better. Let's challenge the way that we see adolescence, let's challenge the way that we support it and, in doing so, let's change the world. Until next time, I'm Francesca. Bye for now.

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