Challenge Your Mind, Change The World

Why Your Teen Might Be Struggling More Than You Think (And How to Help)

• The Classic High School Teacher • Season 1 • Episode 20

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Have you ever wondered if your teenager's moodiness is just "normal teen behavior" or something deeper? 

This eye-opening episode reveals the startling truth: today's teenagers report higher stress levels than adults, even without adult responsibilities like mortgages or full-time jobs.

Francesca Hudson dives into the invisible pressures weighing on our teens, from the "always-on brain drain" of social media creating cognitive fatigue patterns similar to workplace burnout, to the performance culture that extends beyond academics into their digital lives. 

You'll discover how social exclusion online activates the same brain regions as physical pain, and why so many teens suffer from eco-anxiety about inheriting what they perceive as a broken world.

Whether you're concerned about your teen's wellbeing or simply want to strengthen your connection during these formative years, this episode provides the insight and practical tools to support your teenager through one of life's most biologically demanding phases. 

For further resources see:

The Teen Shutdown Decoder (free resource)

Links mentioned in this episode:

1️⃣ American Psychological Association – Stress in America Report (2023)
👉 https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/stress

2️⃣ Oxford Internet Institute Study on Social Media & Cognitive Fatigue (2022)
👉 https://www.oii.ox.ac.uk/research/projects/social-media-mental-health/

3️⃣ The Lancet – Climate Anxiety in Young People Survey (2021)
👉 Full study here:
https://www.thelancet.com/journals/lancet/article/PIIS0140-6736(21)02146-3/fulltext

4️⃣ Harvard’s Center on the Developing Child – The Power of One Caring Adult
👉 https://developingchild.harvard.edu/resources/inbrief-the-impact-of-early-adversity-on-childrens-development/

5️⃣ Stanford University – Chronic Stress and Brain Shrinkage (2022)
👉 https://med.stanford.edu/news/all-news/2020/10/how-stress-affects-the-brain.html

6️⃣ University of Michigan’s Adolescent Health Lab – Internalizing vs. Externalizing Behavior
👉 https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/child-development-central/201811/understanding-internalizing-and-externalizing-behavior

7️⃣ CDC – Sleep and Teen Mental Health Report
👉 https://www.cdc.gov/healthyyouth/health_and_academics/pdf/sleep-factsheet.pdf

8️⃣ Dan Siegel – “Name It to Tame It” Concept
👉 https://www.drdansiegel.com/blog/2012/02/23/name_it_to_tame_it/


If you enjoyed today's episode, please take the time to rate our podcast. Your rating means the world to us and it allows us to continue to share and grow our message of support to other fabulous humans out there!

For more free resources, check out my guide to the 5 secret habits of teens who succeed. Jam packed with advice, tips and strategies. Yours free!


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Speaker 1:

Hey there, welcome back to Challenge your Mind, change the World. I'm your host, francesca Hudson, and today we are going to be looking at something that I think every parent of a teenager wrestles with at some point, whether they say it out loud or just feel it quietly in the pit of their stomach. We're talking about those moments when your teen seems different. About those moments when your teen seems different. Or maybe they've lost motivation seemingly overnight, or maybe they're moody or more irritable than usual or shutting themselves away in their room for hours, or maybe they're showing signs of burnout, pushing themselves really hard but spiraling into either exhaustion or anxiety. And if you've caught yourself wondering is this just typical teenager behavior or is there something deeper going on here, then you are absolutely not alone. I'm calling today's episode why your teen might be struggling more than you think and how to help, and I want to really be up upfront here. This is not going to be one of those conversations that blames everything on teen hormones or makes sweeping statements like it's just a phase. They'll grow out of it. You've probably heard all of that before and, frankly, it's not enough, because the truth is there's so much more going on beneath the surface of what we see. In fact, what if I told you that your teenager's struggles might be linked to invisible stresses and brain processes that we, as parents, were never really taught about? And what if understanding those layers could totally shift the way that you respond and actually bring more calm, clarity and connection into your home? Today, we're going to be peeling back those layers. We're going to be unpacking the latest research from neuroscience, psychology and global studies that explains why this generation of teens is facing pressures like unlike any before. I've got some fascinating data and some science-backed insights that aren't the kind of thing you'll find in a quick google search. Plus, of course, practical, doable strategies to help you feel confident supporting your teenager through whatever they're facing right now. So if you're ready for a conversation that's real, a little bit challenging and, most of all, empowering, you are in exactly the right place. Let's get into it.

Speaker 1:

First up, I want to kick things off with a bit of a truth bomb, and it's one that might surprise you. According to the American Psychological Association's 2023 Stress in America report, teenagers today are reporting higher average stress levels than adults Yep, higher than adults. Let that sink in for a second, because, even though your teen might not be paying the mortgage or working a full-time job or juggling family responsibilities. They are shouldering a type of pressure that's unique to their generation, pressures that we, as adults, often don't see or fully understand. It's so important to note this, and here's the kicker A lot of their biggest stresses are invisible. They don't always show up as what we think of, as big problems. Instead, they sneak into daily life and chip away at your teenager's sense of stability and self-worth.

Speaker 1:

Let's unpack a few of these hidden stressors for you so you can see what I mean. And the first one is the always-on brain drain of social media. And yes, social media is a hot topic right now, but let's look at it from a different angle. Let's look at it from this invisible stressor. Now, we all know social media can be overwhelming, but the science is even more startling than you might think.

Speaker 1:

A 2022 Oxford study found that the constant pinging of notifications, group chats and scrolling is leading to cognitive fatigue patterns in teens. That looks strikingly similar to adult workplace burnout. That's huge. In other words, your 15-year-old might be sitting in their bedroom, but their brain is operating in the red zone, just like a 40-year-old working 70-hour weeks. That is frightening, and this isn't just about time spent online. It's about the never-ending anticipation of social interaction. You see, teenagers today aren't just checking in with friends during school or after class. Their social life is a 24-7 loop of group chats, snap streaks and pressure to stay constantly available. And brain scans show that this hypervigilance is literally rewiring their stress response systems. And yes, the endless multitasking, switching between homework, tiktoks and texts has been linked with reduced working memory and attention span. Media even when they want to focus, their brains are conditioned for interruption. This is something that I am so consciously aware of in our house that I actually have Do Not Disturb on our devices, and I consciously decide when and where I will answer texts or answer phone calls, even in front of my kids. I do not want them to see that I am permanently available for the outside world, because it's about setting boundaries. And I think that, as parents, this is where the modeling starts, and I feel like if we can model that to our children, then hopefully we are beginning to instill some of these defense mechanisms when they are encountered with this, always on brain drain of social media.

Speaker 1:

Now the second one is performance pressure. This is another hidden stressor, and it's both academic and social. So here's something that many parents don't realize the pressure to perform isn't limited to test scores or sports anymore. The rise of TikTok and Instagram and other highly visual platforms has created what psychologists call the compare and despair effect, and it's not just about wanting good grades now. It's about looking lawless, having the right friends, showing off the best vacations and broadcasting every whiff. And here is the brutal part with all of this the highlight reels that your teen is watching are algorithmically designed to make them feel like they're always falling short. It's horrible.

Speaker 1:

Research by the Pew Research Center found that 61% of teenagers feel pressure to look good online, and that pressure is even more intense for girls, unfortunately. So social scientists are starting to call this the rise of achievement culture, which is a toxic mix of perfectionism and self-surveillance that drives anxiety and even depression. And it's not just about what teens post. It's also the fear of missing out or FOMO for short, which we've all heard of when they don't post and aren't included in what others are sharing. And studies are showing that the social exclusion online activates the same brain regions as physical pain yes, literal, physical pain. That's really, really sad, and this is all sounding really intense, I know, but I think that if we can draw to light some of these hidden stresses and actually address them head on, then that's when we can really start to help and support our teenagers moving forward.

Speaker 1:

So the third one is and I've got how many have I got? I've got three in total. So the last one I'm going to go heavy on is eco-anxiety and global instability. Whoa, big words. Now, this one is huge and it's often overlooked. And I'll tell Whoa, big words. Now, this one is huge and it's often overlooked. And I'll tell you what it is.

Speaker 1:

So a landmark 2021 Lancet study surveyed 10,000 young people across 10 countries and found that 59% of teens said that they were extremely worried about climate change. But here's where it gets even more sobering 45% said these worries negatively affect their daily functioning. So we're talking about feelings of hopelessness, of guilt and even anger about inheriting what they perceive as a broken world. So in psychology, we now recognize eco-anxiety as a real, measurable form of chronic stress. Yep, about the environment. It's a real, measurable form of chronic stress, and teenagers are at the forefront of it. They're absorbing the global news at a pace we never did as adults and, unlike previous generations, they're coming of age in a time of real existential threats, from pandemics to economic uncertainty to climate disaster. So this isn't just a background worry for them. It's shaping their mental health and it's shaping their sense of purpose and their ability to imagine a hopeful future.

Speaker 1:

But let's zoom in on something fascinating that you might not know. So neuroscientists have discovered that the teenage brain is uniquely wired for social belonging. In fact, brain imaging shows that the ventral stratum, which is the reward center of the brain, is more active during moments of peer approval in adolescence than at any other stage of life. Incredible, can you believe that Peer approval as a teenager is stimulating the reward center in your brain to a greater extent than going shopping in Chanel than adult? So what does this mean? It means that belonging literally feels like survival to your team. In fact, that reminds me when I was teaching in Sydney many years ago. The HSC had a section in the exam where they do a theme every year, and that particular theme was belonging, and so we taught books and texts that focused around this key theme of belonging, and I think this ties in really well with that. Shame I didn't have this information to hand 10 years ago when I was teaching the HSC, but anyway, belonging literally feels like survival to your team. So their brain is telling them you must be accepted to stay safe.

Speaker 1:

So when your teen gets left out of a group chat or receives a snarky comment on snapchat or sees their friends hanging out with them, it's not just hurt feelings. Their brain experiences this as a kind of biological distress. Think of it like a social pain signal that's incredibly hard to shake. And here's what's wild about it Research is showing us that social exclusion during these years can have long-term impacts on emotional health, shaping self-esteem, risk-taking behavior and even academic performance. So if you've ever wondered why your teenager seems so shaken by what feels to you like a small social hiccup, this is why their brain is designed to care really deeply.

Speaker 1:

Now this all sounds a little heavy, but here's the thing. Understanding these hidden stresses is the first step towards helping your teenager navigate them with more confidence and resilience. And up next, we're going to unpack what's actually happening in their brains when all the stress hits and why their reactions might seem so intense or confusing from the outside. Stick with me on this, okay. So now that we've unpacked the external stresses that your teenager is facing, let's zoom in on what's happening inside, because understanding your teen's brain development is the key to unlocking why they might be struggling more than you realize.

Speaker 1:

Now, you've probably heard that before, that the teenage brain is under construction, but what exactly does that mean? Well, here's the fascinating part by around age 14, your teen's emotional and reward centers specifically the amygdala, which is the brain's emotional watchdog, we'll call it, and the ventral stratum, which is the reward hub, which we just talked about, are pretty much fully online and highly responsive. Now, these areas are responsible for things like mood swings, risk-taking, thrill-seeking and really intense emotional reactions. But and this is a big but the prefrontal cortex, which is the rational decision-making part of the brain that helps with things like planning and self-control and long-term thinking, that part is nowhere near done yet. In fact, brain imaging studies show that it doesn't fully mature until around the age of 25. And this leads to what neuroscientists call the mismatch model. Think of it like a car with a supercharged engine, which is their emotions, but really weak brakes, which is the impulse control. So while teenagers are feeling everything so intensely, whether it's excitement or fear, or rejection or sadness, they don't yet have the full neurological toolkit to really regulate those feelings or put them into long-term perspective, and this is why your teenager can go from zero to a hundred emotionally in what feels like a flash. And it's also why that drama over a failed maths test or an argument with friends feels to them like the end of the world, because in their brain it almost is. Now here's where things get really interesting, and this is something I think every parent needs to hear.

Speaker 1:

A 2022 study out of Stanford made a real groundbreaking discovery Chronic stress, whether it's from school or social dynamics, family tension or even unrelenting self-pressure, actually changes the physical structure of the teen's brain. That's huge. Specifically sustained stress can cause shrinkage in the prefrontal cortex over time. Yep, you heard that right. It can literally reduce the volume of the part of the brain responsible for self-regulation, focus and emotional balance, and this is what psychologists refer to as a negative feedback loop. So imagine it like this your teen faces a stressful situation, say a friend betrayal or a crushing school deadline, their amygdala kicks into high gear, so cue anxiety and overwhelm, and maybe tears or anger, but their prefrontal cortex, the wise manager, is still underdeveloped and potentially being weakened by ongoing stress. So the result of all of this? Your team struggles to cope effectively, which creates more feelings of failure or frustration, leading to more stress. It's a loop, it's a negative feedback loop that goes on and on and on, round and round, stuck in a cycle that can feel impossible to break, and this might explain why, no matter how supportive and encouraging you are, your team can sometimes seem stuck, circling the same struggles, despite your best efforts to help them move forward.

Speaker 1:

Yes, and one thing I want to emphasize here is that these brain dynamics aren't just reserved for the big moments, like breakups or major academic pressure. The same biological processes are at play in everyday frustrations too. Even something that might seem small to you, like a teacher's sharp comment or losing a streak on snapchat, can trigger these heightened emotional responses, because the brain's sensitivity is tuned way up. And here's a surprising fact A meta-analysis from the Journal of Adolescent Health found that teens actually experience stronger physiological stress responses than adults do when exposed to the same stresses. Their cortisol levels spike higher and it takes them longer to come back down to the baseline, and this means that even when a situation blows over quickly, your teen's body might still be lingering in a state of heightened tension, and that can silently shape their moods, their focus and even physical health in the hours or days that follow.

Speaker 1:

But it's important to note this is not a character flaw in your teenager. It's biology, and this is the moment that I really want to underline. Your teens struggle to handle emotions or to make wise decisions under pressure or to break out of a stress cycle. It's not a flaw in their character. It's not because they're lazy or overly dramatic or just don't care. It's biology. It's the natural, expected outcome of a brain that is still developing under pressure. And the more that we as parents can internalize that truth, the more we can meet our teens with empathy, patience and, critically, the right kinds of support.

Speaker 1:

Now, what do I mean by that? Well, in the next segment we're going to talk about how to spot the signs that your teen might be silently struggling and why some of the biggest red flags are the ones that are the easiest to miss. But before we do, I want to give you a quick reflection to sit with. I want you to think back to the last time your teenager had what seemed like an overreaction to something, whether it was a tough grade, a fight with a friend or even a small household rule that triggered a really big response to them. What was your immediate gut reaction in that moment? Did you see it as defiance or drama, or did you pause to consider what might have been going on under the surface in their brain and body? To consider what might have been going on under the surface in their brain and body? Now, this isn't about judging ourselves, my friend, don't worry. It's about starting to notice patterns and understanding just how much biology is at play beneath the behaviours we see. All right, let's dive into those signs that your teen might be struggling silently, even if everything looks okay on the outside.

Speaker 1:

Here's something I think every parent needs to hear loud and clear Not all struggles look like a meltdown. In fact, a lot of the biggest signs that your teenager is hurting don't come with slammed doors, raised voices or epic crying sessions. Sometimes the most serious struggles are the quietest and they're the ones that slip under the radar because they don't fit the typical picture we have of teen angst. Researchers from the University of Michigan's Adolescence Health Lab have been studying this for years and their findings are crystal clear Internalizing struggles, things like withdrawal, overthinking, perfectionism and quiet sadness are often missed or misrepresented by parents. Why? Because we tend to associate distress with externalizing behavior. You know the drama, rebellion or acting out. But here's the truth. Many teens, especially girls and high achieving kids, turn their stress and anxiety inward and, instead of breaking the rules, they bury their feelings, sometimes so deeply that even they don't realize he's struggling Now.

Speaker 1:

So let's talk about some of the most overlooked signs you should be watching for, and I have got five of them. So the first one is a sudden dip in motivation or grades, even if they're still trying Now. This one is subtle in motivation or grades, even if they're still trying Now. This one is subtle, but it's telling. Maybe your teen used to be laser focused on these studies, but now seems scattered or least driven, even though they're putting in the effort. It's easy to assume that they're just getting lazy or distracted, but often what's really going on is that chronic stress or emotional overload is making it harder for their brain to function at its best. Here's the neuroscience when the brain is flooded with cortisol, which is a stress hormone, working memory and executive function, which are both crucial for learning, take a hit. That means that your team can sit at their desk for hours and still struggle to retain information or perform like they used to. So we need to be looking for that as parents and as educators. We need to be looking for the sudden dip in motivation or in their grades. What's going on there Now?

Speaker 1:

The second one is increased fatigue or oversleeping. We often think of teenagers as naturally tired because of the late nights or early morning and all that growing, but there's a difference between typical sleepiness and something deeper. If your teen is sleeping way more than usual, like taking really long naps or saying they're exhausted all the time, that can be a red flag. In fact, according to the Foundation, excessive sleep and fatigue are often overlooked markers of depression and chronic stress in adolescents. Their bodies might be using sleep as a coping mechanism, a way to escape from overwhelming emotions or pressures, and so it's a really good one to just keep an eye on at home. The third one is avoidance of friends or social activities that they once loved. This is a big one Social withdrawal. It's pulling back from friends, it's skipping out on hobbies, turning down invitations. This can be one of the earliest and clearest signs that something's not right, and yet it often gets chalked up to typical teen moodiness or a passing phase. But here's the insight typical teen moodiness or a passing phase. But here's the insight peer connection is biologically critical during adolescence. So when a teen suddenly loses interest in their social world, it's usually a sign of deeper emotional struggles like anxiety, depression or feelings of inadequacy.

Speaker 1:

The fourth one is overcommitment to school or hobbies as a mask for anxiety. So we've kind of gone the opposite way now. So this one really might surprise you, and we usually celebrate hard work and dedication. But sometimes overcommitment can actually be a mask for anxiety. So think about it this way a perfectionist teen, for example, might throw themselves headfirst into everything extra credit, projects after school claps, volunteer work not because they're passionate, but because they're trying desperately to maintain a sense of control or worth. And psychologists call this anxious, over-functioning. And while it looks like success on outside, it can quietly wear a teen down to the point of emotional exhaustion. It's so important just to check in with those exhaustion levels and to make sure that our teenagers aren't burning out, because perfectionism in teens is risky territory.

Speaker 1:

Now the fifth sign is small signs of self-criticism. So listen carefully to your teen's offhand remarks, little comments like I'm terrible at everything or I'll never be good enough, because they might seem like typical teenage frustration to you, but if they're cropping up regularly or they're carrying a sharp edge of hopelessness, that's worth paying close attention to. Research tells us that self-critical thinking patterns are one of the strongest predictors of anxiety and depression in adolescents. This is a heavy one, and while some teens are open about their feelings, others might only give you small passing glimpses into the way that they're talking to themselves. They're talking to themselves. So, as parents, really this is a red flag. We have to be so careful not to ignore the quiet, offhand remarks, the little comments, because they are giving us a window into something that's potentially quite big. And I'll give you one more sign. I've got a bonus one for you. I've actually got six. I remembered one Physical symptoms, and this one really flies under the radar because studies show that teens, especially younger adolescents, often somaticize their stress.

Speaker 1:

That means that their emotional distress shows up as physical pain like headaches, stomach aches, nausea, muscle tension, even things like unexplained skin breakouts or dizziness. So if your teen is making war trips to the nurse's office or they're frequently complaining of physical ailments that don't seem tied to any obvious cause, it's worth considering whether stress or anxiety could be playing a role, and a study in the Journal of Pediatric Psychology found that up to 30% of recurring physical complaints in teens are linked to underlying psychological stresses. This is your body's way of waving a big red flag when the brain can't quite process what's going on emotionally. Our bodies are so clever, the way that our subconscious works is so clever, and so stress and anxiety can show up as physical symptoms in teens. Now the tricky thing with all of this these signs often don't look like a crisis that we just talked about, these six hidden signs. In fact, they can seem so ordinary, so woven into the fabric of teen life, that it's easy to dismiss them as just being a teenager. Right, but here's the truth I want you to hold on to. Any significant change in your teen's mood, behavior or habits is worth paying attention to, especially if it lasts more than two weeks. You know your child best and your intuition as a parent is powerful. You are the light in their dark world. You are the superstar who knows.

Speaker 1:

So up next, we are going to shift gears and talk about how to help. We've talked about all the heavy stuff. Now let's look at how to help, the science-backed tools that can actually support your teen's emotional health in a way that feels really doable for you and empowering for them. All right, let's get practical, because I know many of you listening are thinking okay, francesca, this is all fascinating, but what can I actually do day to day to make things better for my teen? Right got you.

Speaker 1:

So first, some really encouraging news Parents are still the number one influence on their teen's well-being. Yes, that hasn't changed. Social media might come and go, but you are still the number one influence. Amazing and I know it doesn't always feel that way when your teen is holed up in their room or gives you one word answers, it can seem like they're shutting you out or that their friends matter more. But recent shot of Harvard Center on the developing child tells us something powerful Even just one stable, engaged adult relationship, whether that's a parent or a grandparent or a coach or a mentor, can dramatically buffer the impact of stress. In fact, that connection is often the difference between a teen who struggles and sinks and a teen who struggles but recovers. So please know, even when it looks like they aren't listening, they are. You matter more than you think, and I've got some evidence-based, science-backed ways that you can truly help your teen right now. I've got another five.

Speaker 1:

So the first one is to validate, don't minimize. Now, this one might seem simple, but it's huge. Neuroscience shows us that when we dismiss or downplay a teen's stress, saying things like, oh, it's not that big a deal or you'll be fine, don't overthink it, we actually activate their amygdala, the brain's emotional alarm system. So instead of calming down, your teen's distress gets amplified. What works better instead? Reflective listening. Now, this means really tuning in, acknowledging your teen's feelings and saying things like that sounds really tough, or I can see why you'd be upset about that, even if you don't fully get the situation, or if secretly, you're thinking this seems like a minor thing, remind yourself that to your teen it feels big and meeting them there creates trust and safety. So a quick example instead of saying it's just a maths test, it's no big deal, try, you put so much effort into studying. I can tell you're disappointed and that's completely valid. Okay, so that's reflective listening.

Speaker 1:

The second way is to teach name it, tame it. Oh, now, what is this? This is one of my favorite tools and it's beautifully simple. Dr Dan Seagal coined the phrase name it to tame it, and it's rooted in neuroscience. When your teen can accurately label their emotions, whether that's anger, shame, anxiety or sadness. Their brain starts shifting, processing, from the amygdala, which is their emotion center, to the prefrontdala, which is their emotion center, to the prefrontal cortex, which is the logic center, and that simple shift actually calms their system down. So how do we encourage that? Well, by helping teens build emotional vocabulary.

Speaker 1:

You might say it seems like you're really frustrated. Would you say that's the main thing, or is there also some embarrassment in there? Or you could say this You've mentioned feeling tired a lot. Do you think that's physical tiredness or more of an emotional tiredness? And model it yourself too? And you can model this yourself as well. You could say something like honestly, I've been feeling overwhelmed and a bit irritable today. I think I need a reset that shows them that it's normal and healthy to name feelings out loud. I think one of the best movies out is Inside Out, the Inside Out movies one and two, because the way that they teach young people and I'm dealing with children and preteens about how to explain and label their feelings is incredible. My child in class the other day told his teacher that singing gives him anxiety and the teacher came and told me this because she was quite taken aback because none of the class had really described singing practice in that way and I I said well, his favorite movie is Inside Out, he loves it and I think that's great. So the more ways we can introduce building this emotional vocabulary for our children and for our teens is only going to help them being able to start calming their system down.

Speaker 1:

The third one is set micro goals. So you know, those days when your teen seems completely stuck, like even the smallest task feels impossible, that's often a sign that they're overwhelmed and they're frozen in a stress loop. Here's where the science of small wins comes in. A 2021 meta-analysis in the Journal of Youth Studies found that when teens achieve tiny, manageable goals, their brain gets a boost of dopamine, the reward chemical which helps build momentum and a sense of mastery. So the trick is to break things down way smaller than you think. If the goal is to clean their room, maybe the micro goal is just put three pieces of clothing in the hamper. The goal is to start studying, maybe it's open the laptop and read the first paragraph. Those tiny wins build confidence and signal to their brain hey, I'm not stuck, I can do this.

Speaker 1:

I've got a fabulous resource called the Teen Academic Success Blueprint. In fact, I'll link it in the show notes. And that is all about micro wins. It's all about preparing your teen and getting them used to studying in class and being able to process academic pieces of information, and I've got a whole section there. It's a bonus section. It's called the Parent Support Toolkit, with cheat sheets, what to say and what not to say during the study session, conversation starters or boosting their confidence at home, that kind of thing and it's such a useful tool to have in your parenting back pocket. And it's also a really good tool for your teen to be able to start to break down their schoolwork into these micro wins. So I'll link that in the show notes.

Speaker 1:

The fourth way is to prioritize sleep. Seriously, I can't say this enough. Sleep is the unsung hero of teen mental health. A huge study by the CDC found that teens who got less than seven hours sleep a night are 2.5 times more two and a half times more likely to experience symptoms of depression. And yet, with busy schedules and late night scrolling and homework demands, sleep often slides way down the priority list. Setting firm but compassionate boundaries around bedtime and screen time is one of the most impactful things that we can do as parents and a few simple tips to do this. We can make devices sleep in another room. We can tell our kids iPads are sleeping in the lounge while they're going to bed. You know, we can stick to consistent wake up and bedtime routines and, yes, even on the weekends, when possible, too. We can educate our teens on why it matters. We can say things like your brain is still growing. You know, sleep is literally where when your brain processes everything and resets itself. So it's not about rules. It's about giving your body what it needs. Now, this might not be popular in the moment, but long term, total game changer.

Speaker 1:

And the fifth strategy is to model imperfection. This one is so powerful and it often gets overlooked. Your teen is watching everything you do, and that includes how you handle stress, setbacks and mistakes. One of the best ways to help them build resilience is to show them that it's okay to struggle and to recover. That's the key to struggle and then recover. So, instead of always appearing like you've got it all together, be honest in an age-appropriate way, of course about your own challenges. You could say things like I was really anxious about that work presentation today and I noticed I was being hard on myself afterwards, so I took a walk to clear my head and reminded myself that it's okay not to be perfect. Can you see how you've modelled that to your child? You've stripped the struggle and then the recovery. Or another example I felt so frustrated earlier when things weren't going my way. I gave myself a minute to cool off and then tackled it in chunks Once again the struggle and then the recover. And this helps your team internalize that resilience isn't about being bulletproof. It's about adapting, bouncing back and taking care of yourself along the way.

Speaker 1:

I want to wrap up this section with a reminder no matter how complex the science, one thing is beautifully simple your consistent, caring presence matters most. Your teen doesn't need a perfect parent or all the right answers. They need someone who shows up, keeps trying and says over and over again I'm here. We'll figure this out together. In our final segment, I'll share a few closing thoughts In a quote. I think every parent of teens should have tucked into their back pocket for tough days, and if you're thinking I love these strategies but I'd really love a road back to help me put them into action, I've got you covered. So, as I mentioned earlier.

Speaker 1:

The Teen Academic Success Blueprint is a practical, step-by-step guide that helps your teen build smart study habits, reduce their overwhelm and set up their own personal system for success, whether they're struggling right now or just need a confidence boost to hit their next goal. And for you, the parent, I've created the Parent Homework Help Survival Kit. It's designed to help you support your teen without turning every homework session into a battle. You get printables, checklists and my best how-to-help-without-hovering hacks, designed to help you support your teen without turning every homework session into a battle. You get printables, checklists and my best how to help without hovering hacks that make a real difference in your teen's learning. So both of these tools are built to make your life easier and your teen's journey smoother, and you can check them out via the links in the show notes.

Speaker 1:

If there's one thing I hope you take away from today's episode, it's this your teen's struggles aren't a sign of weakness. They're not a sign of failure. They are a reflection of the fact that your teen is navigating one of the most complex, intense and biologically demanding periods of life. And you, my friend, you have far more power than you might think to guide them through it, not by having all the answers, but by being that steady, compassionate presence that they can lean on time and time again. Remember, what feels like resistance or drama is often just a young person saying I'm overwhelmed, I'm figuring this out, I need help, but I don't always know how to ask for it.

Speaker 1:

I want to leave you with a quote that I think every parent should tuck into their back pocket for the hard days. It's from Lisa D'Amour, the psychologist and author of Untangled, and she also happened to be a consultant on the Inside Out movies that I mentioned previously. She's amazing. I really love her work, and she writes adolescence isn't a problem to be solved, it's an experience to be supported. Isn't that beautiful? It reminds us that your job isn't to fix every bump in the road. It's to walk beside your teen as they learn, stretch, fall down and rise up again.

Speaker 1:

Thank you so much for joining me today on Challenge your Mind and Change the World. If this episode resonated with you, please do me a quick favor. Share it with a friend who's in the back of parenting teens right now. Trust me, they'll thank you for it. And hey, don't forget to hit subscribe, because next week we are diving into a big topic that I know so many of you have asked me about digital resilience. We'll unpack how to help your teen thrive in a digital world without losing their sanity or yours. You're gonna love that one. Until then, be kind to be gentle with your teen and remember you are both doing your best in a wildly complex world. Bye for now.

People on this episode

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The Classic High School Teacher

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