Mother Daughter Pregnancy Talk with SPECIAL GUEST Rayah Bond

Are you considering growing your family?

Is your pregnancy a surprise to you?

Are you pregnant and don’t know what to do?

Did you know that before we’re born, Papa God asks us if we’d like to be born? Even knowing what our life will be like, we said a resounding “YES”. Even if any amount of our life can give our Creator Glory!! 

Did you know we were created in His image? What a total honor to bring a new life into the world, a reward even!!

Relax and listen to Rayah, dedicated mother of 3 as she shares her pregnancy and birthing stories and find encouragement for this miraculous journey of bringing a heavenly soul to earth. 

Pregnancies can be as unique as the little personalities they carry inside. This grounding, heart warming episode between our host and her daughter will connect, giving you fresh ideas and motivation to have the best, most natural experience possible. 

Life is Priceless!

Psalm 139

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Welcome to Truth Flicker with Tanya, and I'm super excited. Have a special guest today, and Rea happens to be my daughter, and I'll tell you what, I have watched her through her pregnancies, and just my mind has been blown by the way she has just taken it under her wing and decided to do the best she could do with her pregnancies, and she's a very devoted mother, and I want her to share her experiences because I believe it will really help women who are expecting or wanting to get pregnant. And just hearing you might call a seasoned mama's experiences and things that she has done to help. Where when I was younger, I I have five children and went to the doctor, the traditional doctor, and we did the we did the classes and the breathing techniques, and that was all actually very helpful. But I didn't know that there was more so-called like hacks that you could do to help the body, and and she for sure did not have a painless experience. But she um she was such a joy because she just knew what a treasure she was carrying each pregnancy, and even though it got really rough and tough, she she just um she just kept that as her focus and her her um her motivation, you know, to to um make it the best that it could be. And so I just want Rea to share. Um uh you have three children now.

SPEAKER_01 1:55

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 1:56

And um why don't you just start with Lincoln, um, your oldest, and and he's how old now? He will be five in August. Okay, okay. So turning turning the pages back a few years, um, what was it like when you first got pregnant with Lincoln?

SPEAKER_01 2:18

Um I had lots of emotions, but my my pregnancy was with him was different than I I hadn't really I didn't know anything when I was pregnant with him. I didn't know anything, I didn't know um any much about pregnancy. Like I had seen plenty of pregnancy or pregnant people, and you know, they are pregnant and then they give birth, and that's what I knew. And so when I got pregnant with him, I didn't know what to expect. I knew there were like people talked about morning sickness and blah blah blah, but then that usually subsides, and then you're fine and it's uncomfortable and whatever. So that was kind of my expectation. Um, just the bare minimum of what I knew. And so when I got pregnant with him pretty early on, um my I remember my morning sickness started the next day. So I took a test and it was like December 14th, and I found out I was pregnant. And then the next day I started uh having this morning sickness that lasted all throughout the day. And wow, what did I know? So so that was that um just started it got pretty bad to where I was like wondering if this was just normal morning sickness stuff and where I started losing weight and had to go um at least two times to the ER to get fluids just because I couldn't keep anything down, and then eventually was diagnosed with AG, um, which is basically a severe type of morning sickness, um throughout and can last throughout the whole pregnancy. And so my first nine, ten months with him was all was morning sickness vomiting all day and through the night, and so couldn't keep anything down, and that was I didn't remember having like aches and pains because I just I like I just remember throwing up like that's what that's what I was going through and I remember we went to Mexico in February, so I found out I was pregnant in December, went to Mexico in February, and I remember that I had like four good days in Mexico where I wasn't throwing up, and that was I was around 16 weeks pregnant in Mexico, and so I was like thinking, okay, this is it's done now, like maybe I'm done, maybe it maybe it's just the you know, and the first couple three the first trimester, and usually people say that's when you can have morning sickness, and so I was like, okay, maybe it's done, and then we ended up staying longer in Mexico because Parker got COVID, so so then we were trapped there, so I had to stay an extra week, and that's not it sounds nice saying an extra week in paradise, but it's not when one of you has COVID and the other one my morning sickness started back up again, and so so I had like four good days my entire pregnancy where I was just like, Alright, here we go, I can do anything. Then I started up again, and nothing I really did like helped with it. Like, there's they have these like nausea bracelets, and I tried that, or they have ginger chews or ginger um things you can suck on, and different teas, and so I tried all those things, and nothing nothing really worked for me. And I had this whole plan to stay active during my pregnancy, and I wanted to keep working out and lifting weights, and that just completely went out the window, and so everything I thought I knew about pregnancy was kind of just like a blank slate, and so after that pregnancy, I was I was I was happy to be done being pregnant at the end of that one.

SPEAKER_00 6:30

Wow, and it makes me think of that verse a woman is saved in child bearing. And I always wondered what does that mean, saved, and literally you all your hopes and dreams can just be like subdued because your focus, you know, is just trying to survive and to bring this baby to full term, and and it's just uh it's just you know, all your own things. I don't know how to say it, just like all selfishness goes down the toilet because you're just like you know, everything from now on is just for this child, and and um so it's a it's a good hard thing, but yeah, I remember you really went through you really went through a lot. So did you ever have it lift toward the end?

SPEAKER_01 7:24

Um not that I I felt like I it maybe got not as intense, so throughout most of it it was like average eight to ten times throwing up a day, probably. Okay, and toward the end, um I think I I think it did get better, um, but it was still maybe like four times a day. Toward the end. Like I remember I was at my baby shower throwing up, and so like and that was maybe around 36, 37, 36 weeks, maybe, or 35, yeah, when I had my baby shower. And so it was pretty persistent up until the end.

SPEAKER_00 8:08

So when did you start looking for things to help with labor and delivery?

SPEAKER_01 8:14

Um, well, right, probably around 20 weeks. So little backstory about me is I've all ever all the only thing I've ever wanted to be was a mom, and so I knew I was so so excited to have a baby, and so I didn't want to go in as unprepared as I felt. And like they don't teach you much in health class, and you know, all this stuff, and so once I was pregnant myself, I started um kind of researching things and um watching videos, and one thing that I I saw somebody say early pretty early on was don't watch the negative birth videos or the neigh like don't um like kind of guard yourself and um because it if you know if you're consuming a lot of horror birth stories, then that's it just creates so much anxiety and everything, and so I completely shut like I I did not allow myself to watch even a single you know bad birth or hard birth, you know, like they're all hard, but like any negative or a rush c section, you know, I just kind of guarded my mind from that because I wanted to think positively about my birth and my experience. And of course, you you know, you never know what's you can't you can plan for what you want to happen, but it's a loose plan, you never know what's gonna actually happen. But I really wanted to protect my mind and my heart, and so that's some that's like one of the biggest pieces of advice that I'll give now is to protect your mind over those things, and so I started watching birth videos, and I knew that I wanted to do it as natural as possible. I knew my mom, both my mom and my mother-in-law, they both had all unmedicated, you know, everyone's mom and grandma had to have you know unmedicated, and so I'm like, there's so many thousands and thousands of women that have had unmedicated births, and I can do it too. And so having an epidural wasn't it never crossed my mind as an option, and um, I don't judge, I don't care if you want an epidural, go for it. I just knew for me in my heart, I just wanted to try, I just wanted to try it. I knew I could do it, I knew I knew it's possible. I've seen all these women give birth without an epidural before, so I knew it's possible, and so then I just started kind of digging my heels in and um watching all these birth videos, and I knew I I really wanted a home birth, but my partner was not on board with a home birth because of you know complications and anything that can arise. So we compromised with a birth center birth, and I knew that I wanted to have a water birth, and so I probably watched every video there is on YouTube about mothers having water births, and I just did like all day I would just watch these videos and have positive birth experiences, or you know, vlogs of them talking after they they gave birth and what they did and what they would do different, or you know, all these things, and so I just started watching those and then um researching r labor prep, you know, what exercises can I do to help um baby engage in labor and late pregnancy and stuff like that, all while I was still throwing up, you know, I'm like laying in bed sick trying to figure out how to how I can make my labor the best labor that I can have, or at least feel prepared, feel like I had done all that I could do, I just didn't want to be unprepared, and so yeah, I started drinking red raspberry leaf tea, which is supposed to help um your uterus um contract, and so it's kind of like your uterus is a muscle, and so it helps to kind of strengthen that muscle, and so that when you are having contractions, they are it's strong and firm, and they're doing something, they're you know, and so I started the raspberry red raspberry leaf tea at probably 34 weeks with my first with Lincoln. Um, and then they also say you can eat like try dates for cervical ripening, and so I had like I ate like four dates and was like, no, I'm not I don't want to do this. And so so then I just quit that one. But um started doing exercises on my ball on the floor. I tried walking just toward the end of my third trimester to prepare for my labor. So that was that, and then I did I test I tested positive for group B strep, which is just a bacteria that's naturally occurring, and um I have more thoughts about that, but I tested positive for that with my first, and so they wanted to have me on antibiotics so that the baby wouldn't catch that bacteria or whatever coming out, and so that was just another thing. Um but then yeah, do you want me to talk about my labor with him?

SPEAKER_00 14:12

Yes, yes, and also you said you had other thoughts about the strap. What what are you thinking? The group B strap.

SPEAKER_01 14:20

Um I I won't test for it again, so I didn't test for it with my third um because I after after learning more about it and after knowing how my own births go now, they're they're very fast. And I've been blessed with that very, very um fast and effective laborers, and they say that they want you to have the antibiotics in your system uh an hour before the baby's born. And with Lincoln, they I had the IV, they were giving me the antibiotics, and he was born 45 minutes later, and so it hadn't even been in my system, and so just personally, I knew that my history of of fast labor, I didn't like it, it wasn't even effective because it wasn't, and so I just won't do it again, and I also like I said earlier, like I just want to be as natural as possible, and um I I just it's just not for me, so I won't take those antibiotics again, but yeah, yes, tell us about the labor. Okay, so with Lincoln, uh let me think. It was so he was due August 11th, and he was born August 2nd. So I was 30 something, something far enough along. Um, I was full term with Lincoln.

SPEAKER_00 16:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:01

And um, so I start I went, we um I'll just be very candid in all my in everything. So I had learned that um having sex can induce labor. And so that is one of the things that I tried, and I was like, I was ready, and I'm like, I'm done with all this HG, like I just want to have my baby, and so um I wasn't we weren't necessarily trying to induce at that with Lincoln, but we had had sex the night before, and I had felt some cramping, and there wasn't any bleeding or anything, but I felt some cramping, and so I went to bed that night, August 1st, and with a smile on my face, like this is my first labor. This is my first, like, I'm like, you never know, you don't know. I didn't I didn't know, and so I was like, am I just like is it just like a little tiny baby cramp? Because that's what it felt like, just a baby little period cramp, and I was like, I don't know, and so then yeah, and so then I lay back down and was able to go to sleep, and so I slept that night. I don't feel like I was waking up a ton, but I felt like that I could have been the very, very start of early labor. So let's call that like 9 p.m. or 10 p.m. And um Parker worked construction and we lived in Rochester at the time, and he worked construction in the cities, and so he had to drive over an hour and a half for work every day, and it was a Monday morning, and so he got up at 4 a.m. to get ready for work, and I was kind of up with him, and I felt like I had kind of felt some some more cramping stuff, and and um so I told him I was like, I don't I don't know, like I don't know if he should go to work because if he did then he would have to drive back home an hour and a half, you know, whenever my whenever it was time, and and I like I said this is my first birth, I didn't know what to expect, and so um eventually we I did did end up calling the nurse line and just saying like I felt I felt like some more cramps and she I felt I didn't know if my w like I felt like my water had maybe broken. I just had like some trickling out, and she's like, Well, lay down on the bed with a big pad for an hour, and if you know if you soak the pad you can call back again and whatever, and so I tried laying back down on the bed and I I didn't last probably three minutes and the can like I started having contractions, and that was probably about 5 a.m. And so then I was like I told Parker he was still getting ready for work. I told him that he should probably stay home just in case, even if it was a false alarm, you know, like probably stay home, and so then things progressed quickly, and I remember um throwing up once, and then we we we we lived in on the second floor of an apartment, and so we uh I we went down, we got our bag packed, we went down because things started to get pretty intense, and so um it was probably closer to 7 a.m. now or I think it was maybe like 7 30. I just remember getting we got to the birth center just over an hour before he was born, and so and so we got to the birth center. I remember before we left the apartment, I remember Parker just like trying to get me in the car, and I'm having a contraction, and he doesn't know either, and so I'm just like hold on, and he's trying to get me in the car because he's scared, he's not birth isn't his favorite thing, and he's anxious, and but I'm feeling pretty confident because I feel prepared, and so but so we get in the car, and that car ride was the hardest part of my whole labor because I couldn't get in a comfortable position, I couldn't move how I wanted to move. It was a 10-minute drive from our apartment to the birth center, and I that was the hardest part, and so we had gotten to the birth center. I probably had six contractions on the way. Got to the birth center, threw up right outside the doors, and then they wheeled me up. I don't this is the part I kind of blanked out. I don't remember them wheeling me up to our room, but I remember getting in our room, um, they put the wireless monitor on me, monitored me, I sat on a birth ball, and uh then I lost my mucus plug on the birth ball. And then after that, I had asked I wanted a water birth, and so the midwife I I I had the midwife that I wanted. She was there, she was working, and that was already like an answer to prayer because I I had wanted this specific midwife, and it happened to be her that was on call. And so she got the tub ready for me. I got in, I remember asking one of the nurses, like, can you record this? Because I really wanted it, like I wanted it recorded, and she's like, Oh, honey, when it when you get closer, we'll start, you know, whatever. And I was like, Alright, you know, and then I was in the tub for maybe 20 minutes, and so I'm in the tub, and I tell my midwife, I'm like, something just popped, and she's like, That your water just broke, and so that was like after 10 minutes of being in the tub, and then Then um a couple contractions later his head was out. The next contraction, I I don't even I think I pushed once, like just pushed with a contraction to push his body out. Wow. And pulled him up. Pulled I grabbed him myself, pulled him up to my chest. And we didn't know with every one of my pregnancies, we didn't know if it we didn't find out their gender. And so I got to look and see, and it's a boy! We're all we're all in tears and excited and everything. But I remember Parker was, you know, holding my hand. He was outside the tub, and he bless his heart, started recording just seconds before Lincoln was born. Because the nurse was out of the room. Like they they did not, they didn't think I was um as fast. Yeah, yeah. And when I had got there, I was dilated to a seven. And so within less than an hour, I went from a seven to a ten, and he was born. And so that labor was just under five hours long from what I call start to finish. Um, at least being in active labor was five hours, and for me, I I had mentally prepared myself to have a 24-hour labor. Like I knew that first-time moms, first babies, everything, there like I just I wanted to over-prepare myself, and I didn't want to be in there being like, hurry up, why is this taking so long? And so I had prepared myself that this would take maybe a day, and so I like the whole thing. I'm just like, what happened? Like what the like I'm just like in shock, and it was beautiful, and I the water I love giving birth in the water. I felt I was very calm. I felt, you know, it's birth is painful, but it it was manageable, and uh and I felt like I could do it, and I did it, and and right after I gave birth, I wanted to do it again. Like I was like, let's do it again, and so that birth experience for me was 10 out of 10. Was wow um fast and beautiful, and everything I wanted, and or even what I didn't know I wanted, you know, it was just it was great.

SPEAKER_00 24:27

So along comes baby number two, and you find out you're pregnant. Yes, were you the same kind of sick during this pregnancy?

SPEAKER_01 24:37

No, with my second, I had your normal morning sickness for the first three-ish months, and then I feel like I a little bit blocked hers out of my mind, but I think hers was the most normal, the most um normal to my normal body, I'll say. Um, to myself, felt more normal. Of course, there's uncomfortable stuff and whatever. Um, but I did feel the most um normal with her pregnancy, and so I had you know morning sickness, but then I was also full-time in college, and so I didn't really I quickly realized that the more kids you have, the less time you have to focus on being pregnant. Like I would forget that I'm pregnant because I was running around with a uh let's see, they Lincoln and my second are 21 months apart, so he was little still. So I was running around with him, I was full-time in college and I was pregnant, and so I would just forget because you don't have the more kids you have, the less time you have to to think about being pregnant. So that's so cool.

SPEAKER_00 25:52

There was just a grace for you, a special grace, because you were in school and you have a kid already now, and yeah, and oh, I remember just feeling relief, you know, while you were having the second being pregnant with the second child. Yeah, and so I want to talk a little bit about the affirmations. Um what what what are the birthing affirmations that you did and how did you do that?

SPEAKER_01 26:18

So I found an app and it's called um Christian Hypnobirthing. And with Link I actually had found it with Lincoln. So I started listening to that around 30 weeks, and I listened to it every night while I was going to sleep. And um, there's like f five or six different little episodes, like 15 minutes each. And the two that I listened to the most were just positive affirmations for birth, and it's um a woman with a really soothing voice, and she talks, and she so she would read Bible verses twice. So she would read it the first time, and then a second time, and the second time you kind of say it, or just in your mind, you know, you're you're repeating it in your mind with her, and then the other ones are birth affirmations, and like an example is like my body was made for birth, or you know, my my baby is the perfect size for my body, and things like that, and so that really helped me with Lincoln. Um I had thought that I would play it at the hospital, but I just it was so much in my mind that I just I said them to myself in my mind, and I reminded myself because when there's a point in transition where you just feel like you can't do it anymore, and that's like right before the baby comes out, and so I had felt that and I was like, Nope, this my body was made for birth, and you know, so just able to remember those affirmations, and I have a you know my favorite ones and whatever, and so really started with him and then listened to them again with Ember, my second, not very not as much as I did because I already kind of knew them, but also because we co-slept and I didn't want to wake Lincoln up at night listening to my birth affirmations, and so um, but that was that, and those I don't those were so helpful because they help you train your mind for birth, and uh in my opinion, that is more than training your body, you yeah, it's birth is mental for me, and in my experience, and if you feel like you can't do it, you tighten, you tense your body up and you try to fight it, but if you just um work with your body and know that this is what your body's made to do, this is who God created you to be. Um, you can do this and just surrender yourself to the birthing process. Um it just helps to loosen everything and and yeah, wow, that is awesome.

SPEAKER_00 29:05

So you had a favorite midwife.

SPEAKER_01 29:08

Um the same midwife I had with Lincoln is the one that I wanted to have for my second birth, but um at that birth um at that birth center, there's probably six or seven midwives, and so I had I had seen two, I picked my favorite two, and I had gone back and forth with having appointments with those two my entire pregnancy up until I was 37 weeks pregnant, or maybe it was 38, a 37 or 38 week appointment, and um I it had been scheduled with somebody I had never met with before, never seen, never met with before. Her name was Amy, and um so I had my appointment with her, and I just like fell in love with her. I was like, you know, those people that you just meet that just mesh really well, like you're just that you just work. And there were a couple of the midwives that I weren't they were everyone was great, you know, they're all great midwives, but some people you just mesh better with. And so um Amy was like incredible. And I asked her, I said, can I see the schedule? Like, like when are you on call, you know, kind of because I was due with my second, I was due May, I want to say May 9th, and she was born May 3rd. Okay, so she was six days early. Um, and so I asked her, I was like, Can I see the schedule? And so I saw and so I knew, and she was on call the next night. So I said, Amy, I'll see you tomorrow night. And I went home that night, and I just knew like I have a I took a selfie, I have a picture on my phone of the night before, just smiling, knowing like tomorrow, I'm tomorrow's gonna be the day. And so I was very determined because I wanted her to be my midwife, you know. I didn't want to leave it up to whoever, you know, whatever. And I was far and I was I was full term, and so and I had known from my first experience, I had remembered that we had sex that night before, and that kind of to me translated as kick-starting things.

SPEAKER_00 31:35

And you still shared with me there's something that's released through that that is the same chemical or whatever they have in Pitocin. In Pitocin.

SPEAKER_01 31:47

So, yeah, the artificial Pitocin that they give you at the hospital. Um, I can't think of it now because my mom brain. But it releases it's the same, so it is it can that's how it why it works to kind of induce, and it's it's not gonna work for everybody, you know. If your baby's not ready to come, your baby won't come, no matter what you do. But um, and so I knew so it was it was May 3rd, and I that morning Parker was at work and I was home with Lincoln. I was I finished up my schoolwork. We I took him outside, we were playing outside, I started curb walking. Okay. Um so that's where you kind of you offset your pelvis to kind of shift things and try to get things moving down. So one one foot up on the curb, one foot down on the road. On the road, and you so I went down one way, came back the other way. Yeah, you're kind of already waddling at that point, but so I did that probably for an hour, which was a mistake, but um did that, and then after that I drank I had start I had upped my red raspberry leaf tea to like four bags a day, probably. And then I I had made myself like a a tea with like ten bags, and so it's this like dark brown, like in a quart jar or whatever, and I don't know if that's safe or not, so don't follow that advice. But um, I had just kind of started sipping on that all day, and then Parker got home from work around 5 p.m. And I told him I was like, I want this is it, my midwife's on, like let's do it. And so then we went upstairs, and when we came back down, it was maybe like 5 30, and immediately five minutes after I had felt a contraction. Wow, and I was like all excited and like oh, like this is actually like it's actually gonna happen, you know. You think you can do stuff, but I was like, wow, this is actually the key for me for me and my labors. This is what really starts my labors, and so um we called his grandma, she was about 40 minutes away, and just said, hey, because I knew I had fast labors, and I knew they say, you know, each labor can go quicker than not every time, but each labor can go quicker than the one before, and so I'm thinking, I don't know how much time we have because my first labor was four hours, four to five hours. Um, and so his grandma came and she was there about an hour later, so around six o'clock, and I felt really good. Like I was having contractions, I was timing them, they weren't super consistent, and I was walking around and and I made supper. Parker walked over to the quick trip and bought um mint chocolate chip ice cream and was eating it out of the out of the container on the couch with Lincoln, just you know, trying to do his best to stay calm. And he doesn't remember that, but I have pictures, so but so he they're all sitting on the couch, and I'm bouncing with my ball. And at the time we lived in a three-story house, and we were trying to get Lincoln down to sleep. It was around um 7:30-ish, and trying to get I wanted to get him to sleep because he hadn't ever stayed the night with someone else. Yeah, and he's little, like he's under two, he's 21 months, and he had only ever known us. We had many play dates with his grandma to get him used to her and you know, know that this is who's gonna take care of you. But he was still like a little baby, yeah, and so I and my mama heart, I was so nervous about leaving him. I didn't want to leave him, and so I wanted to at least get him down to sleep before we left. And so, I mean, through this, my contractions are manageable, like I'm walking around, I'm talking, I'm you know, I'm stopping to have a contraction, but I can still talk through them. And so Parker was trying to get him to sleep and couldn't get him to sleep, and so I'm like, okay, I'll go up and try. And so I walked up the steps and laid him down, and as I was laying down, I feel like the movement of walking up the steps, walking my hips up the steps, um, really kick-started things. Like it was like go time, and so I took, I have a picture, I took a picture of me and Lincoln together, one our one last, you know, his our last time being only sibling, little, whatever, and and so then and Parker was trying to get us to go like an hour before. He's like, let's just go, let's go, let's go. He's you know, he's anxious and just wanting to get going. But um, so I had walked I came down the steps and I was like, alright, like now's the time. And so then we flew out the door, got in the car, and I remember the car ride, so we had lived further from the birth center now, and so we were about 20 minutes away from the birth center. And I remember that car ride being so peaceful, like so that was what I was most nervous for because with Lincoln's birth, the car ride was absolutely like unbearable. But with this one, I I just was ner that was what I was most nervous for. But we were laughing, like I don't even know if I had a contractions in the car. Amazing, like they or if I did, they were very um uh breathable, and and so then we got to the birth center. I took a video, I was like, we're having a baby, and like so I was like talking, walking, you know, all the stuff, and I they wanted to wheel me. I wanted to walk. I was like, I can walk. They're like, that's not our policy, or whatever. So I was like, okay. So then they wheeled me up and got to the room and with my with my midwife that I wanted, and she was there, and I was like, totally I'd be back here. So then she she was very, very um pushing for everything that I wanted. So I wanted to not have to be monitored. I wanted intermittent monitoring so I could just get in the tub right away. And so um got in a tub and I turned on my Pandora, my music playlist that I wanted, and um yeah, just got in the tub like right away. And um was in the tub again, maybe half an hour, and this time she said to me, because my contractions were pretty intense, they did check me when I got there and I was dilated to I think it was an eight or nine. Wow, and so she's like, Alright, it's gonna go. So got in the tub, um, and she had said to me, She was like, There's a position you can do in the tub that is it will be intense, but it will it will move things along faster. And so I was like, Alright, like let's try it. And I didn't know I didn't know that with my first, I didn't I didn't know any. So this was new, this was the first thing that was new to me. Okay, and it it's a lunge, and so you lunge with one leg and you uh hold that through one contraction, and then you switch to the other leg and you lunge on that leg and you hold that through one contraction, held it through one contraction, held the other side through one contraction, and he came out the next contraction. Wow. And so that was like five minutes after she had suggested to do this.

SPEAKER_00 39:43

And then so when you say lunge, one leg is held up and you're yeah, up on your knee, you're up leg, and then your back leg is as straight as you can get it.

SPEAKER_01 39:57

And um then you're kind of leaning forward. Okay. And I also I forgot, I I use a comb in my hand. Um kind of counterpressure, it like tricks your brain um to thinking that there's pain in your hand and not anywhere else. So I use that with Lincoln too. Um, but I used it with Ember and that helped I don't know how much it helps, but it helped even in my mind, just to think that I was doing something.

SPEAKER_00 40:27

Right. Um and And didn't you mention also, you know, when you did the curb walking and you said that you probably did too much. Why, why, yeah, well the next day I'm like, why are my calves hurting?

SPEAKER_01 40:44

Like, what is this? Like, so like I would get cramps in my calves, and I was like, this isn't a birth thing. Like, what and then I remembered I did an hour of curb walking, which I hadn't worked out, you know. I hadn't been consistent in my working out with remember, and so yeah, that was I remember not to do an hour of curb walking, maybe, but yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 41:08

You are determined, lady. Well, just to give you, our listeners, a little picture of where we're sitting, we're not in a fancy studio, are we? No, we're in Rea's bedroom, and we have Soren with us. We're actually sitting on her bed just chatting, and you've probably heard Soren squeaking here and there. He's so precious, and and he's getting kind of sleepy, and Raya's been shifting as she's been holding him and kind of cradling him in her arm, his head. It's just been cute as I've been watching you, and now his eyes are really happy, and he's gonna looks like he's gonna take a nap. But that's where we're sitting right now, just chatting. And Grandpa is downstairs watching the older two kids, so we can so we can get this wonderful just her story out, is just so rich and and a lot of wisdom and just the blessing of God and bringing new children into the world. Um let's continue with number three.

SPEAKER_01 42:12

So um Soren is my 30s. I is almost seven weeks old, so still pretty fresh. Um again, we didn't find out the gender with him until the very end, which is very special. And um in between, so we actually moved to Arizona when um Ember was six months old. And so I found out I was pregnant in Arizona and I had to find a new everything. I had, you know, new insurance and new I had to find a new hospital and I was looking for a birth center, and I quickly learned that the healthcare system here um is not as great, not as natural as what I had found in Rochester at Olmstead. You had more options there. I had more options there. Um people were more inclined to do what you wanted to do, and and I remember I I had found a um a birth or a women's health center. So that's where I had gone for all my prenatal appointments, and I liked it there, it was fine, you know. Everybody's nice, like it's not that the people are whatever, it's just the healthcare system is not as natural. And again, I would love to have a water birth. Like I feel capable and like I feel capable enough to have a free birth. And some people think that's crazy, that's just having birthing on your own with nobody there. Like, I feel capable and I feel like I can do that, and um. But again, Parker, he's gotten more and more natural leaning with me over the years. But maybe that didn't grow up like that, didn't yeah. But and so I'm like searching and searching, and we drove 45 minutes away and looked at this birth center, and it was like in a weird, run-down, sketchy part of Phoenix, and like they had boards over their windows, and we're just like, this is not where I want to welcome a new baby into the world, and but that was like the only place that I could have a water birth, and that would have been out of pocket. And water births are usually like five thousand dollars. And I was like not really wanting to do that. I was still I wasn't we weren't gonna do water birth at home, and I really wanted to find a birth center here. Well, there are none, there are no birth centers or hospital birth centers that allow you to have a water birth. You can labor in the water, but you can't have a water birth. And so I spent the good couple four five months being very frustrated. Like I was extremely frustrated. I was I felt hopeless. I felt angry, like that this is my this is my body, this is my birth, and and I can't have it how I wanted to have it. And so then I started watching all these videos about car births, all these women having birth in the car, and I was like, you know what, that might not be a horrible thing. And so I'm like brain. I'm like, please, God, like let us be driving to the hospital and me give birth by myself because that's like I didn't want all these interventions, I didn't want, you know, all these people telling me to do stuff I didn't want to do, hooking me up to machines, I didn't want to be hooked up to, and so, but I was very frustrated throughout her pregnancy and just not being able to find what I wanted to find and not be able to do what I wanted to do. And um, her pregnancy was also the most taxing on my body. Her before I had gotten pregnant with her, I spent like six months getting ready to get pregnant again. And so I was eating clean. I was Parker and I did a round of 75 hard. I had lost over 40 pounds. I I just was really in the mindset that I wanted to be the healthiest version of myself to get pregnant again, um, just to have a smoother pregnancy and to, you know, do do whatever I can to make this go really well. So in my mind, I'm like, this is gonna be the best one yet, because I got ready for it and I started running and I was lifting weights, and I like I said, I lost over 40 pounds and I felt really ready. And so when I found out I was pregnant, I was in the best shape of my life, and I had felt really good mentally. I felt like so clear, and I just I was so excited. And that was with Ember or Soren? With Sorin. Okay, and so I had found out I was pregnant in I think it was July. My family was here visiting, and so this was the earliest that I had told anybody that I was pregnant. I that came right downstairs and told you guys I was pregnant right away. And I was only like I think I was like three weeks. I was very extreme, like I was extremely early. The line was extremely faint. People still call me crazy, but I knew I saw a line, and then I tested, of course, the next couple days and it got darker and darker, but but her pregnancy um was rough. I the first like couple weeks were fine, and then I started having morning sickness, but this kind of morning sickness was different. It was very, I was just very nauseous. You tag that Sorin. Yes. So his pregnancy is where I'm at now. But so with him, I was very, very nauseous. I was like hardly able to walk down the steps. I would come down the steps and lay. I would have to lay, I would lay on the couch all morning. And I have two children, like I have two toddlers that I'm you know, I I can't do that. I can't, like, I have to be up. I just and so for the first probably four months um after I found out I was pregnant, I was just very, very nauseous. Wasn't throwing up a ton, still some, but not like not anything I had had experienced with, especially Lincoln's. Um, was very, very nauseous with him. Finally, when it started to get clearer around four months, um, I wanted to walk. I w I needed to walk, I needed some form of exercise, I needed whatever. And so um I tend to be have an all-or-nothing personality, and so this it was my fault. But uh, the first time I felt okay to walk or you know, be outside, I got the kids in the stroller and we walked three miles, which is my normal, like on a you on a day-to-day I lock I like my walks to be three miles long, and so it's not like something I'd never done before, but I hadn't done it in the last couple months, right? And I didn't know where my body was at, you know. I had gained normal the a normal amount of weight, the normal first trimester weight, whatever. Um, but was um was I walked and then I came home and then I could not get it back off the floor, and I was like, what is this? And some it just felt like a shift in my pelvis, and something something shifted the after that that I felt noticeably like something was wrong. And so I I had my next appointment, talk to my midwife about it, and she's like, Oh, you're just pregnant, you know, whatever. And I'm like, this is feels different, you know. And so eventually doing all my researching and stuff, I figure I found that there's something in pregnancy and women where your pelvis can like shift and open up. Wow, and I didn't know anything about that, and so I kind of like self-diagnosed myself. That's what it felt like to me, and that's what it felt, and for months for all the way, all the way until I gave birth. So, like five more months of this pelvis thing where I was so much pain at to get I was crying every night getting out of bed because my my pelvis is hurt like hurting so much, I'm trying to do like these exercises and it just hurts more, and and so I finally found at towards the end that if I walked like a mile that and I did this for a week of intense, intense pain, but my midwife had told me walk and it's gonna hurt, but it will get better, and so I started to do that, and um, so I walked a mile, I would walk a mile every day, and if I didn't walk for a day or two, then the pain would become unbearable again, and it was still there, but if I walked, it was manageable, and like at night I had to keep my knees together, and so getting out of bed, I had to keep my knees together and kind of like roll myself off the bed, and just even walking and throughout the day. If I like open my legs and like that movement in my pelvis really was not fun, so that's in this whole time I'm frustrated because I can't find like I can't have the birth that I want, you know, and I so I'm like frustrated, and now I'm in so much pain, and it was just and I'm frustrated because I had I had planned for this pregnancy. I had gotten I had done everything I could, I had gotten in the best shape of my life, and I'm in so much pain, like I was just frustrated, and so yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 52:12

We were we were praying for you a lot through this last one, especially, and and you you looked like you carried him low time, yeah, you know, and so I don't know why that is, but it was just very different, yeah. Yeah, yeah. So what did you do with him toward the end? Um, the same raspberry tea.

SPEAKER_01 52:36

Same stuff. I did try dates. I forced myself to eat dates this time with him, which you'll never know if it made a difference or not. You know, there's not one way to tell or another, but I'm I'm I'm believing that hopefully I did something because they're not the most enjoyable for me. Um, but I did like four to five dates a day just with breakfast every morning, and I was doing, you know, I took my prenatals, I was taking grains, and I was doing the red raspberry leaf teeth at starting at 32 weeks this time. He was measuring earlier also. Um he was measuring ahead like to be born earlier than my due date.

SPEAKER_00 53:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 53:17

And he was due March 9th, I think. All my kids were due are like the same the same be in the same couple days. He was due March 9th, and he was born February 25th. Okay. And toward the end, so that was right at I think 38 weeks. Good. And um, I was very desperate to get him out. I was very I I was I was in so much pain, there was so much pressure, I just was ready. I was so ready, and so I was I tried not to do anything early, early, like I didn't want to do anything that got him out because he he the longer they can stay in is better for them, and so um I wanted him in as long as possible, but I was also ready to get him out. So um I did do the mile circuit uh two or three times, and the second and third time I did it, I just did it because it felt good, like it was hard, but it made my body feel better towards the end of it. Can you explain that a little bit? Um so the mile circuit is you start in a forward-leaning position with your hips in the air on the floor, and you hold that position for half an hour. So you get as much out at an at that angle as you can to get your hips up in the air. Um, and then you lay on a side. You're supposed usually like in pregnancy, they say to lay on your left side. So the same thing here. Lay on your left side, open up your legs, like bend your knees, open up your legs as far like high, like with like eight pillows, and then bring your top knee as close to your face as you can. Um, hold that for 30 minutes, and then right at like no break in between. Like you're supposed to do these, like, don't even pee, you know, like you're supposed to be doing these quick. And this can just help baby engage and get further down. Yeah, the mile circuit.

SPEAKER_00 55:21

Interesting.

SPEAKER_01 55:21

And then the third thing is just to get upright so you can bounce on a ball, you can curb walk, and so that's what I did. I was just I just walked um for half an hour, and then then that's that. Um, did that, that didn't really do much. I had I was in prodromal labor with him for a full well felt like a full day. Um I'm trying to trying to look back on my my notes. What kind of labor? Prodomal. It's just like early, like false labor. Okay. So you think you're in labor, your contractions can be and you can be some women have this for weeks.

SPEAKER_00 55:59

Yeah. Which is crazy. Well, I know you went through so much, but just sit in here looking at him, sleeping so peaceful and so healthy, and this color is so good. He's just beautiful. And I mean, you know, when my mom would have a baby, she'd say, You just forget all about the pain when you see their face, and you get to hold that little child in your arms. And it's just what you know, it does say that the the babies, babies are a reward from God, and and it's it's so so precious. So any anything for to wrap up, anything that you would um share for encouragement or advice for new moms that are maybe the first time, you know, gonna have a baby and it's it's a whole new frontier.

SPEAKER_01 56:50

Yeah, I think um do your research, be informed, and uh like uh look at good sources. And if you wanna if you want to have a natural birth, you 100% can. Um surround yourself with people who are like-minded to you and who maybe moms who have given birth and have had positive birth experiences and just ask questions and ask your midwife questions and find a good midwife if you can because they are the the difference between having a good a great birth experience or not, in my opinion. And just be be informed and don't give up, like do if you want, if you want it to go a certain way, um prepare for it the best you can, and you know, you never know how what's gonna happen, but just prepare and that I just wanted to feel prepared and I'm glad because I know some women who just wing it, and that's not me. And I wanted to do everything I could to have the experience that I wanted to have, and I have every time, you know. Even I talked about this third one being pregnant with Soren being frustrating and being in so much pain, and I didn't end up being able to have a water birth with him, and that was really hard for me, but I did it, and now I know that I can do it no matter what, no matter where I am, you know. And yes, the comfort of the the water birth was kind of like my cushion, like I felt safe there, but now I know like I can do it no matter what conditions, you know, and he was almost born in the car, so so yeah, just do do just surround yourself with people who are who think like you and who and you want the best.

SPEAKER_00 58:44

You even had him hands and knees, and that's that's just out of the box. And I just admire you for trying different things and being willing to just see what works best for you. And even Parker went to bat for you, bless his heart, you know, and and saying things that you had really wanted, but you were in labor and couldn't say it. So he bat he batted for you.

SPEAKER_01 59:09

Yeah, train your husbands, train your train your husbands, tell like make sure that you go over your birth plan with them and that they will advocate for you. That was my I mean I was in birth and I was falling more in love with him because I heard him speak up for me when I couldn't, or when they were trying to talk to me and I'm in a contraction, and he's like, This is what she wants, and I was like, That's hot. Yes, he like he was he knew what I wanted, he spoke up for me, and so so they wouldn't do anything that I didn't want done while I couldn't communicate that. Yes, yes, and so get your husbands on board, and yeah, it's beautiful, it's wonderful. I I hope to have 10 more babies. I love despite how hard my pregnancies have been, um I I I want to be pregnant again. Like I love I love making babies, I love having babies, I love like the experience is hard, but it's so worth it. And I remember just after Soren, Soren's birth was my hardest and fastest, and I think it was my hardest because it was so fast. Like it was like basically my active labor was an hour long. And um, even though his was the hardest, and I said, like after Lincoln's, I was like, All right, let's have another baby. After Soren's, I told I told Parker, I said, I can't do this again. And you know, then you forget a little bit, and now I'm ready. Like now I'm like, okay, I'll have more, you know. But you do, you just do it. You're made for birth, you you know, it just it's so empowering, so so empowering to do to be able to do the thing that you were created to do. And so I will forever have unmade unmedicated births if I can.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:07

And well, Rhea, you you are empowering to us as we listen to you, and and we've stayed with you for a week visiting new baby Soren, and you you have such a peaceful household, and it's just been it's just been really healing, actually, to be with your family and connect with you guys. And so as we close here, I just want to um say a prayer um and give you a prayer to say uh yourself um over your baby. And it's it's talking also to your child. So thank you for my child and for entrusting this little human into my care. Every baby is a reward from the Lord. I bless my baby and I speak life and purpose to you now. My precious baby, I love you. Welcome to earth. Thank you for saying yes to coming to us now. You are perfectly created by God with a powerful destiny that is yours to fill. Let there be joy, laughter, gratitude, peace, and songs of hope always in your heart and on your tongue. You were given to me, and now I give you back to our Heavenly Father. And Rhea, I can just feel your heart as tears well up in your eyes of of how much you love your kids and your family, and and that just uh resonates in your words. And um thank you. Thank you. It was an honor to have you share with us today. Yeah.