Dove's Inner B.E.A.U.T.Y. Podcast
Join us as we delve into the complexities of our emotional worlds with Demetria Nickens, a certified mental health first aid instructor and trauma recovery coach. In this episode, Demetria shares her insights from her platform, Dove's Inner Beauty, which challenges conventional beauty standards and advocates for genuine well-being. We discuss the life-changing impact of mental health first aid, trauma recovery, and suicide prevention.
Off-air, Demetria embraces life's simple joys, reflecting her deep commitment to maintaining balance. She opens up about balancing a rigorous career with cherished family moments, offering listeners a personal look at managing wellness amidst daily pressures. Tune in to discover not only Demetria's professional expertise but also her personal strategies for fostering inner beauty and work-life harmony. This episode is more than a dialogue—it's an invitation to promote mental health and uncover the beauty that lies within us all.
For more information about Dove’s Inner B.E.A.U.T.Y. visit:
https://www.dovesinnerbeauty.com/
Dove’s Inner B.E.A.U.T.Y.
(336) 298-6599
Dove's Inner B.E.A.U.T.Y. Podcast
Understanding Anger: Recognizing Boundaries and Emotional Cues with Demetria Nickens
How to Recognize When Anger Signals Crossed Boundaries?
What if your anger is actually a sign that your boundaries are being crossed? Today, we unravel the hidden messages behind your emotions with the help of Demetria Nickens, a seasoned mental health first aid instructor and trauma recovery coach. In our latest episode of the Dove's Inner B.E.A.U.T.Y. Podcast, Demetria shares her invaluable insights on how to recognize and respond to the physical cues that often accompany anger, such as sweaty palms or a heated sensation in the cheeks. These bodily signals can serve as early warning systems, alerting you when something deeply important to you is under threat.
Join us as we discuss the pivotal role personal values play in triggering anger and how understanding this connection can help you better manage your emotional responses. Whether it's dealing with a disrespectful comment or navigating an unexpected financial blow, learning to identify these signs and their underlying causes empowers you to handle your anger constructively. Demetria offers practical steps to help you stay grounded and protect your emotional well-being, ensuring that you can face life's challenges with greater resilience and awareness. Tune in for an enlightening conversation that promises to equip you with the tools to safeguard your emotional boundaries.
For more information about Dove’s Inner B.E.A.U.T.Y. visit:
https://www.DovesInnerBeauty.com/
Dove’s Inner B.E.A.U.T.Y.
(336) 298-6599
Welcome to the Dove's Inner Beauty Podcast, where we foster emotional awareness, one individual at a time. Leading the way is Demetria Nickens, a certified mental health first aid instructor and trauma recovery coach with over two decades of experience in fostering emotional awareness in others by engaging their mental health ever feel like your anger is trying to tell you something.
Speaker 2:It just might be. Join us as we explore practical tips with a mental health expert on how to recognize when your anger is signaling that your boundaries are being crossed. Welcome back everyone. Garfield Bowen, co-host, slash producer, back in the studio with Demetria Niggins. Demetria, how are you doing today?
Speaker 3:Feeling good, feeling great.
Speaker 2:All right. So, demetria, what is practical steps for identifying when anger is a signal that our boundaries are being crossed?
Speaker 3:So when we think about anger, right, there are bodily signals that happen within our body, right when we get upset, and whether you notice it or not, it is happening, there's something going on. Maybe you get sweaty palms, maybe you start to feel hot in your cheeks, maybe who knows what it is right. Maybe you feel something in the pit of your stomach, maybe your leg starts to shake. Everybody has different things, it is, but there's always a bodily reaction when you're thinking about, when you get angry. And so, when you're starting to get angry, if you start to notice something happening right, like, oh man, like my palms are getting sweaty or I'm feeling kind of hot, right, noticing those bodily emotions can play a really big part in you managing that anger that's coming up Right, that that time you know every time you get mad, you're going to throw something. Right, every time I get mad, I just throw something. I can't, I can't stop myself. Right, well, there's been a boundary that has been broken, that you're upset, someone or something has crossed a boundary with you. It could be anything right. It could be the bank telling you that there's not money in the bank. Right for you to do something right. However, that could be you. Maybe there's a value there that you care about your money, and so you're upset that there's no money there. Right, it makes sense, you could see it happening. But at the end of the day, controlling. You can feel angry, that is acceptable. Feel angry, that's fine, but manage the reaction right. And so it's important that we can see what the bodily sensations are that start to come up so that, oh, every time I get angry, I throw something. No, maybe, every time I get sweaty palms, I start to get hot, and then I pick up something and throw it. So you can stop yourself before you decide to pick it up and throw it. You just have to be willing to feel the things in order to stop yourself first.
Speaker 3:And so it's important that we one recognize your values, right. What matters to you? What are the things that are going to easily cross the boundary with you, right? Is it family? Is it respect? Is it acclimation, whatever? You know, there are many things that can be wrapped up in values, right? So what values are the things that, if people cross this value with you, it's going to make you upset? Someone says something mean to my mom. I know like my anger goes at a thousand right, because my value is family right and so I know that I need to. I have to manage that. I can't just be angry and go off on people. I have to manage that anger right. I have to be able to say, okay, this is what's happening, because this is what was just said. I'm getting hot, I'm getting sweat. Okay, I need to fix this right.
Speaker 3:Like so what am I going to do next and really think through the next action. And so there are always signs that come with emotion, bodily signs that come with emotion. We just don't ever stop and try to with emotion, bodily signs that come with emotion. We just don't ever stop and try to figure what those bodily signs are. And so we can really start thinking about what is my value connected to this situation that's happening right now? What are the bodily signs that are coming up for me in my body that I can notice in that moment?
Speaker 3:Can I stop and take a minute and notice what's happening? I can notice in that moment. Can I stop and take a minute and notice what's happening? And then can I really think about and manage what's going to happen next instead of just reacting Right. Can I be more intentional about how I act next instead of just a reaction Right that I feel like I have absolutely no control over Right. We have some control. Like I have absolutely no control over right. We have some control. We just have to be able to stop ourselves and kind of realize these steps and then we can move forward in the things we want to do.
Speaker 2:I guess, as a guy listening and knowing that there is a female, that when she gets anger, her hands stop sweating, her knees stop moving. I mean, when we see these things we probably run right.
Speaker 3:Well, you know, and maybe that's the thing you know, letting someone know, hey, do you know, whenever you get mad like you're, you know you start to sweat and start to shaking your leg, right, because, like when they're calm, of course, don't say that when they're upset, that's not going to help, but when you're in a calm moment and everything's okay, you can say something like that to a partner or a friend or something, right that you know that this happens every time. Maybe they don't even recognize it and you telling them can be really helpful to them. So the next time it happens, they're more aware and then they start and they're like, oh man, they were right, I do, I do start shaking my legs and I do start shaking when I oh right, and it's going to change the entire moment.
Speaker 2:The next time that happens because someone made them aware of it. It may not be a scary movie, right, right, absolutely so. On a serious note, how can somebody differentiate between healthy anger and overreaction?
Speaker 3:Oh man. So it's really individualized, right, but you know, anger is a necessary emotion, right, it is a necessary. We all have emotions. Our emotions are valid, necessary, they're all there. There's not like good and bad, right, it's all necessary, it's all telling us something about ourselves if we're willing to listen. And so it's important that, when it gets to the point where we call it negative, right, and I don't even like to put negative and positive on emotions, I don't like to do it.
Speaker 3:However, when it gets to this point where our reactions are negative, it's because we're not paying enough attention to the emotion itself that we're feeling, right, we're not paying enough attention to what is going on with our emotional well-being. We just want to forget the emotion and push it aside and just act, however. Well, you know I say this a lot, but you can feel however you want to feel. You just can't act however, you want to act right, and that is the difference. Right, people have to start separating their emotions and reactions, right? Just because every time you feel this, this happens, stop it, right, like that you can, you have control over that and people don't recognize that. And so, being able to start recognizing that, feel however you need to feel, that's wonderful. Feel it, cry, do what you need to do Like, feel whatever you need to feel is necessary to feel.
Speaker 3:How you react after that feeling is what matters. Right, the reactions that take place are what matter, and so that is the key to really figuring it out, really saying, ok, what is my reaction to this emotion and can I change that? What type of power do I have over that? Can I start to notice more and be able to pay attention more so that I can really fix this thing? Versus calling something good or bad? Right, emotions are not good or bad. It happens to everyone. All of us have them. It's just a matter of being able to say, well, what is my reaction to that? That my reaction is, quote unquote good or bad. And how can I fix the reaction to this emotion that I'm experiencing over and over and over again in this negative cycle of behavior? Right, it's the behavior that happens after the emotion, not necessarily the emotion itself. Stop blaming it on the emotion. It's the action, it's the action. Stop blaming it on the emotion. It's the action.
Speaker 2:It's the action. Good stuff to meet. You Listen. You Hit it out of the box again. Well, enjoy the rest of your day. We'll see you on the next episode.
Speaker 3:Thank you.
Speaker 1:Thank you for tuning in to the Dove's Inner Beauty Podcast, where we foster emotional awareness, one individual at a time. For a complimentary consultation, visit DovesInnerBeautycom or reach out to us via email at innerbeauty at DovesInnerBeautycom.