37 - Aliens, Greek Mythology and Yo Momma!

The boys go completely off the rails diving into alien conspiracies, secret moon agendas, humanoids hiding in plain sight, and whether space exploration is actually about science… or something way bigger. From theories about Mars and government coverups to the strategic importance of the moon, nothing is off limits.

Along the way, the guys get sidetracked talking about Elon Musk, Grimes, weird scooter conspiracies during Rico's "Darkest Corner" and the ongoing debate of whether humanity should fix Earth first or just start over somewhere else. It’s chaotic, hilarious, slightly concerning, and somehow still thought-provoking.

If you’ve ever wondered whether aliens are real, if the moon landing was just step one of a bigger plan, or why scooters seem weirdly aggressive lately… this episode’s for you.

#Podcast, #AlienConspiracies, #UFO, #Mars, #MoonMission, #SpaceTalk, #ElonMusk, #ConspiracyTheory, #ComedyPodcast, #HumanoidAliens, #GovernmentSecrets, #SciFiTalk, #FunnyPodcast, #SpaceExploration, #Chaos

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Transcript

Jeremy (00:00.12)
They're talking about people whistleblowers coming out and mentioning that there is a species, an alien human hybrid that has been created by our governments. So an alien with human DNA or vice versa.

MIke (00:21.804)
And Rico's gonna be the first one to not fuck it.

Jeremy (00:25.678)
But not for lack of trying.

MIke (00:26.232)
Yeah.

Jeremy (00:36.404)
Mm-hmm.

Keller (00:38.604)
Yeah, it makes sense so funny.

MIke (00:49.646)
back with aliens. We came back from the moon with aliens. We did or did we?

Jeremy (00:56.846)
Brought him with us.

MIke (01:02.326)
No man, we w we went back to the moon. We took we we sent we sent a brother up there this time.

Rico (01:08.842)
I'm so proud of my guy. Let's give it up for the first b black pilot to fly in

Keller (01:17.964)
How do they freeze dry fried chicken?

Rico (01:23.384)
That's a good question.

MIke (01:24.494)
Yeah.

Jeremy (01:25.262)
Well, they just dump the Kool-Aid packets out on their tongue. Fuck. I'm getting jumped.

Rico (01:36.974)
Feels like he kind of sold out there, you know. The fur being the first Yeah, he's the first black guy to come on.

Keller (01:45.036)
out.

Keller (01:48.758)
You never want to be the first to do something?

Rico (01:50.792)
Never. You're never the first. He could have been the second or the third. I would've been cool with that.

MIke (01:54.958)
I was just gonna say, you know, that that that carries a that carries a big weight.

Rico (01:58.85)
He's gonna die. well, I think he feels like he has a big weight on the shoulders. They released videos of them doing the gravit the the the less gravity, the no gravity, and they was doing wrestling moves. It was so cool. Yeah.

Jeremy (02:15.158)
What were there aliens in there?

MIke (02:16.078)
I didn't see that. That's pretty cool.

Keller (02:18.85)
He was doing the B B D.

Rico (02:20.536)
They could have been aliens.

Jeremy (02:22.952)
Anyone in Formice?

MIke (02:27.818)
They are looking for ice on the moon.

Jeremy (02:30.542)
man.

Rico (02:31.906)
Ice don't deal with real aliens, they deal with illegal aliens.

Jeremy (02:35.052)
You know, that would solve a problem right there. If we just tell ICE that there are illegal immigrants on the moon, then they would find a way to get up there quickly and fucking die.

MIke (02:51.288)
What?

Jeremy (02:55.862)
Anyway, moving on.

MIke (02:57.719)
Well

Jeremy (02:59.372)
What was what was the big deal about this this trip?

MIke (03:02.442)
Well, you know, it was it was us going back to the moon, quote unquote. For so for those some of us who don't think we actually went to the moon the first time. Never happened. Ne never happened. It was all staged. Yeah. So here's here's the question though. If we f and this is what had me interested. If we found alien structures on the moon, would the government and NASA tell us?

Rico (03:07.735)
Yeah.

Rico (03:32.544)
Hell no. They don't even tell you how much you were really supposed to make. Like come on.

Jeremy (03:33.879)
Fucking not.

MIke (03:40.643)
Is

Keller (03:41.314)
How much you're really supposed to make? Income tax. What is it?

MIke (03:45.902)
Is this just science or are we going back for a reason?

Rico (03:50.722)
There are conspiracies about it. me personally. If we went back the theory is we went back to see if we could go back and see if there was some type of 'cause Elon Musk is really thinking about putting like having us go out out of space, living in yeah, a planet. So

Keller (04:13.134)
Colonies

Rico (04:18.434)
But I just don't think they did it. I just

Jeremy (04:21.358)
I've heard I've heard a couple different things. I heard that NASA canceled plans for they canceled one of the space missions. I can't remember exactly what it was, but they started planning a moon presence. They're planning on building a base on the moon.

MIke (04:42.19)
Yeah, that's one of the one the goals.

Jeremy (04:43.84)
Yes. Well now now it has been front run. They're gonna start sending supplies and shit like that up there, I think twenty twenty seven next year.

Keller (04:53.694)
They'll start drilling for oil. Watch.

Jeremy (04:56.192)
Yeah, there there's oil on the moon.

Rico (04:59.286)
Yeah.

MIke (05:00.11)
They're they're sending unmanned missions with gear ahead ahead of it. So that way when we do go back with people, the stuff's already there.

Jeremy (05:09.388)
Right. It's not going anywhere unless one of those alien civilizations takes it, but maybe they could assemble it for us. That'd be pretty fucking hospitable of

MIke (05:19.232)
If you think

Rico (05:19.732)
about the the Pluto mission, the Mar the Mars mission, I say if you think about the Mars mission, they they did all this research and what little they had found. It's I just the moon is it's kinda weird to me.

Jeremy (05:37.836)
You you give me a fucking nerd boner when you start talking about Mars and stuff because excuse me. Yeah. We'll we'll move past that phrase. If you want to rehear it, just hit rewind and then rewatch the episode and give us more views.

Keller (05:50.316)
Yeah.

Jeremy (05:52.736)
Mars. I've had a before I started

MIke (05:55.082)
Mm-hmm. A R S, Mars Bitches, Red Rocks.

Jeremy (06:00.342)
Mars. Throw me off. Throw me off my groove, goddammit. No, I've had a theory about Mars before I started digging into the existing conspiracy theories that humanity's first civilizations were actually we were Martians, and that there was a nuclear war and it destroyed our planet and we left and terraformed Earth. And

MIke (06:29.804)
What video game is this?

Jeremy (06:31.52)
It's not. It I mean it might be. It might be. But I always strongly felt that. And it's weird because I ran across a com conspiracy theory. Harvard studies has actually shown that there is a chemical in the atmosphere on Mars or a mineral or something like that, that is only produced as a br byproduct of nuclear explosions. That reddish orangish hue.

Keller (06:57.26)
Fucking nerd.

Jeremy (07:01.184)
is more than likely not all just iron oxide.

What do you think about that shit? That we were Martians and we're the aliens.

Keller (07:11.598)
I think it's those must be kids of the Dollar Tree.

Jeremy (07:13.998)
night shamlam.

Rico (07:17.878)
I read that book before Jeremy.

MIke (07:19.502)
No

Jeremy (07:22.712)
But the moon base is meant to be as a stopping station in zero gravity or closer or bet fuck y'all. it's supposed to be a stopping station, a rest area or a a loading day or what have you on the way to Mars.

MIke (07:42.68)
It's a rest stop.

Keller (07:43.948)
I got a question though. How long does the nuclear fallout like last after an explosion?

Jeremy (07:52.076)
It depends on the half life.

Rico (07:54.36)
Can we trust the government that they say it went to the moon and you really you really don't know? Like we just assume that they shot a rocket and it went somewhere out of space. We we just assume that. I just you know, hard evidence

MIke (08:14.446)
And I saw the rocket go up from my front yard.

Rico (08:18.774)
I mean, th g don't get me wrong, if they if they are doing that, making I'm I'm all for the advancement of human life, and if that takes us a space, that takes us a space, but you know, I'm also likely to call bullshit on the government, you know. The the government ain't never really been very expedious with anything. It takes them like six years to fix a pothole in the neighborhood, so

They ha how long this project is gonna take. I have

MIke (08:49.046)
I I I agree I agree with the theory, you know, I've heard Neil Patrick Harris talk about it. I you know, you know what I'm talking about.

Rico (09:00.322)
The

Jeremy (09:01.238)
Ha ha.

Keller (09:02.136)
He has it.

MIke (09:03.426)
Yeah. Neil deGrasse Tyson. talk about, you know, the whole space race for the moon was to be the first to get there during the Cold War. You know, there was, you know, a a governmental, you know, political reason to get there. But why why are we going back now? Like what's what's the rush? I that

Rico (09:04.264)
He's a doctor, he knows his shit.

MIke (09:32.608)
Yeah, I guess.

Jeremy (09:33.87)
One hundred percent. I mean, what was the reason we first went to the moon? The the the Cold War.

MIke (09:42.104)
Yeah, I just I just

Jeremy (09:44.256)
I know, but I wasn't paying attention.

Keller (09:46.99)
So therefore his his thoughts are valid.

Jeremy (09:51.49)
And right now, this war that's going on now, war stimulates the economy. So if you want to lessen the effects of war on the morale, you distract with a space race. China's heading up there too. Russia's probably gonna join the fight if they haven't already, because I don't read current events like I probably should as a responsible adult.

MIke (10:13.422)
Actues that are going there are the Indians. They

Keller (10:17.592)
Wow. You can't scream in the head because they're like this.

MIke (10:24.584)
They la they landed a rover on the moon and it looked like an eight-bit Nintendo game. I swe I swear I'm not making that up. What? The their their controller back in back in the home base or whatever looked like they were playing a Nintendo game. It was ridiculously bad. I'm like

Keller (10:45.612)
It had like ninety telephone wires attached to it.

Jeremy (10:53.627)
they're getting things ready so that when the astronauts start living up there they can reach them about their extended warranty.

Keller (11:00.012)
Ha ha ha.

MIke (11:02.174)
You're trying to sell the moon and extended warranty.

Rico (11:05.294)
You get up there and you think you get away from all that and that's the first call you get.

Keller (11:10.42)
man.

Jeremy (11:11.692)
by the time we're able to get up there there's gonna be fucking billboards for Disney Plus.

MIke (11:16.718)
Ron Boy.

Keller (11:18.902)
And still say you only have four streams.

Rico (11:22.05)
Would you go though? Would you go if it was a affordable price and they said, Hey, come up to the moon where they got apartments and all like that? Would you go?

Jeremy (11:31.638)
I don't think I'm leaving my earth on my my lifetime.

Keller (11:35.694)
I know what Rico would do. Rico would get up there and he would pirate it.

Jeremy (11:40.014)
We're authentically laughing like that's the first time.

Keller (11:48.918)
Mm-hmm.

MIke (11:50.83)
I just don't want to go to the sea of tranquility powered by AfLak.

Jeremy (11:55.102)
Exactly. my god, they're gonna fucking ruin it. We I don't the here's a strong debate. we're it's a little off topic, so actually go ahead, Mike.

MIke (12:00.642)
No.

MIke (12:08.543)
I am excited about sports on the moon.

Rico (12:12.084)
come on.

MIke (12:13.158)
My my golf my golf drive will go thousands and thousands of feet.

Keller (12:20.982)
You think Seth Curry's good? Seth, not Seth?

Rico (12:22.772)
Yeah.

MIke (12:26.06)
Imagine Steph Curry draining a shot from five thousand feet.

Jeremy (12:30.71)
On that note, I guess I'm excited for Rocket League.

MIke (12:33.782)
Yeah, exactly.

Jeremy (12:35.98)
Rocket League on the Moon.

MIke (12:38.078)
Yeah. Play it play a little car soccer on the

Jeremy (12:41.602)
Fuck yeah.

MIke (12:43.704)
That would be awesome.

Keller (12:44.822)
All I picture is Armageddon when they're f flying on through the planet on the fucking car.

Rico (12:52.364)
I don't think you have peaceful life up there, honestly.

Jeremy (12:56.504)
Think you'd always be worried?

MIke (12:58.816)
I I I d I do agree with that, Rico. I think that you know, you're you don't get to go outside. Not at all. There's there's no there's no atmosphere, there's no going and getting fresh air. There's no such thing as fresh air.

Keller (13:16.236)
They're training the kids now for that. My kids don't ever go outside. That's true. All none of the kids nowadays go outside. They're they're ready to live on the moon.

Jeremy (13:25.398)
They stay inside and play Call of Duty so that they're shaped for war.

MIke (13:29.538)
That's called Ender's Game.

Jeremy (13:32.225)
Supporting actors.

Rico (13:33.72)
Ben Kingsley. But yeah, I think that might be I think it's a horrible idea because if you think the sun, when you see the sun from the moon, Jesus.

Jeremy (13:47.182)
You hear about the most recent conspiracy theory going on regarding aliens? They're talking about people, whistleblowers coming out and mentioning that there is a species, an alien human hybrid that has been created by our governments. So an alien with human DNA, or vice versa.

MIke (13:51.789)
No.

MIke (14:14.786)
Rico's gonna be the first one to not fuck it.

Jeremy (14:21.454)
For lack of trying.

Rico (14:23.406)
No.

MIke (14:29.157)
Ha ha.

Jeremy (14:30.654)
Yeah.

Keller (14:31.286)
Mike's sounds so funny.

Keller (14:37.742)
Keller (14:44.334)
my goodness.

MIke (14:48.824)
We're we're we're creating humanoids.

Jeremy (14:51.693)
Yeah.

Keller (14:52.726)
Who would you think is a humanoid right now?

Jeremy (14:54.946)
That's what they're saying, Rika. my god. No, she's just a bitch.

MIke (14:56.969)
O'Donnell.

Rico (15:02.946)
Rose, if you hear this, I'm not with these guys.

Keller (15:05.358)
If you could if you had to pick out somebody that's in a a position of power or a celebrity that has influence, who do you think would be a humanoid half human, half alien?

Jeremy (15:17.622)
I know because a lot of the politicians are probably reptilians.

Rico (15:22.124)
LeBron James.

MIke (15:23.752)
The games.

Jeremy (15:25.196)
LeBron James.

Keller (15:26.806)
I'm thinking Diddy and he needed all that baby oil because aliens have to have the baby oil to survive.

MIke (15:37.58)
going with what's his name that played from queen Rami Malik

Rico (15:49.468)
I hate everything he plays in.

Keller (15:51.842)
What Mr. Robot was awesome for most of the seasons until the later ones.

Rico (15:57.167)
He should not be alive. He looks like undead almost. It's

MIke (16:06.19)
By far the worst Bond villain ever.

Rico (16:09.506)
He was a Bond villain?

MIke (16:10.828)
Yes.

Keller (16:12.128)
agree. I would agree with that. Yeah.

Jeremy (16:14.83)
Fetch me some octopusy any time.

MIke (16:15.054)
Yeah.

Rico (16:20.716)
He's he's I tried to watch that movie, The Little Things with Him, and I fell asleep like four times. It's crazy.

Rico (16:30.156)
He might be an alien. I'm gonna be honest with you. He might be. Like the way he looks, there's just And plus he played Freddie Mercury. Anybody who plays Freddie Mercury, like, gosh, just he did too good at that.

MIke (16:33.581)
telling you.

Jeremy (16:45.762)
There's a group on TikTok that will find weird looking humans or people doing weird things, weird shit. It'll show a clip of the weird human and then it'll flash to and in black. It it is absolutely mean, but I mean when you f you first land on that person, one of your thoughts is like, man, what if they're a fucking alien? And then they fucking chime in with that shit. Like, okay, so I'm not the only one going to hell.

MIke (16:58.83)
Yeah.

Keller (17:14.483)
I'm uploading Rico right now.

Jeremy (17:19.278)
Mm-hmm.

MIke (17:23.25)
I I've seen those memes too. I think that's so mean, like

Jeremy (17:28.043)
Yeah, the the internet the internet is a cruel place.

MIke (17:31.959)
It is b

Jeremy (17:36.652)
I th I think it was George W. Bush.

MIke (17:39.658)
No, Al Gore. Al Gore invented the internet.

Keller (17:42.784)
That's right. Which he could be an alien. He could.

Jeremy (17:44.097)
Wait.

MIke (17:46.498)
Gore could be well, I don't know. He talks like this. Yeah, I definitely could be an alien.

Rico (17:53.462)
Al Gore isn't? I definitely think John Kerry is.

Keller (17:59.64)
And he's all about the environment, trying to preserve the earth for his alien buddies.

Rico (18:04.578)
Carrie and Sarah Palin definitely has to be part of the the alien race.

MIke (18:11.084)
Well, we're talking about an intelligent species.

Jeremy (18:14.604)
Ha ha ha.

Rico (18:16.43)
Every species got their idiots, okay?

MIke (18:20.042)
Sure, they have their village idiots. That's right.

Rico (18:22.696)
And that's why they got exiled because it was so stupid.

MIke (18:26.126)
Going back to alien theories on the moon, does you know, us going back solidify like, hey, we're kind of checking up on You know, they're you know, they're they're on the dark side of the moon, like in Transformers. You know, they're just hanging out back there.

Jeremy (18:45.014)
What if like every fifty years we have to pay them a ransom so they don't blow shit up so we bring them like I'll know like fucking oranges. They we love oranges. They're not black aliens. We love oranges.

Keller (19:01.25)
What I learned from the show Lost is that we have to go back, Kate. We have to go back.

Rico (19:08.098)
Ha ha ha.

MIke (19:08.302)
I think you gotta take into there's just some different arguments. I think it's either strategic, like you know, Keller said, there's minerals and stuff there that we don't have on earth. know, strategic advantage for the military or something.

Rico (19:27.064)
Could just be

Jeremy (19:27.758)
I mean if you control the moon, you control the tides.

Rico (19:31.83)
If you control the moon, you're the first one to do that shit and nobody can touch you.

Keller (19:36.552)
You can't control the moon. You can't c control the gravitational fucking pool of the moon.

Jeremy (19:41.878)
It was it was a metaphor, my friend.

Rico (19:44.312)
So technically the moon is ours.

Jeremy (19:52.649)
Every Here here's another thing.

Keller (19:56.142)
We licked it.

MIke (19:58.464)
Woo the first.

Jeremy (20:00.63)
The theory of perpetual motion. It is impossible because of friction. But it is not as impossible the further you get away from gravity. And all this just so that I can say giant fucking space laser. We put that on the moon. Laser beams. And then you aim it at whatever country you want because.

MIke (20:22.198)
Laser beams.

Jeremy (20:29.406)
Every country's gonna see the moon.

Keller (20:32.084)
Then we make all of our ships in the s giant shape of a Johnson!

Jeremy (20:36.354)
Yes And you gotta paint gold 'cause I love gold.

MIke (20:37.806)
Yeah.

MIke (20:41.964)
I love code. So aliens are just the distraction for all that. So that way we can get stuff done behind the scenes.

Jeremy (20:50.573)
Maybe.

Rico (20:51.528)
Listen, if anybody's close to that, laser beam theory is Elon Musk. All the satellites this man has up, he can encase the world with laser beams. I think Elon Musk is an alien as well. Who would name their child equation?

Keller (21:08.96)
Yeah, that's true. And he's his body's shaped like his Tesla that he built.

Jeremy (21:14.226)
I want you his his girlfriend, wife, ex wife, whatever it was, I can't think of her name. Brooke will fucking kill me for not knowing it. Grimes. Go to Spotify and look up Grimes and read her bio.

MIke (21:30.798)
Grimes started producing music when she had to learn the the program logic for her neuroscience class. Shortly thereafter, she had a viral MySpace page, which allowed her to start booking shows and focus full time on music. She lived in a crack den in Montreal with no heat, where she got frostbite twice and her neighbor was bludgeoned to death in the hallway. Playing Raves until her 2012 breakout, Visions, which recorded during a two-week speed binge.

Wherein she did not leave her bedroom. Upon the success of the album, Grimes attempted to enter society as a regular human, which has clearly not gone super well, but has nonetheless been entertaining. She's since become an award-winning music video director as well as music composer, producer, engineer, engineer, and singer-songwriter. She's toured globally to sold-out crowds, headlines, festivals, and is now moving into space.

Space of corporate surrealism. She recently had experimental eye surgery only available to the upper class.

Keller (22:42.444)
Final Earth album. Damn, other than that, she had the same upbringing as Rico.

MIke (22:48.291)
Sheesh.

Jeremy (22:48.898)
Yeah.

Rico (22:49.676)
Shit. Mine is the music award winning career, Jesus.

Keller (22:56.99)
You'll get there. I was just more talking about the crack den in Montreal. I got

Rico (23:02.318)
No.

MIke (23:03.566)
That's that's something.

Keller (23:05.602)
Hey,

Jeremy (23:05.992)
Is it fun?

Rico (23:06.146)
Yeah.

MIke (23:08.96)
Aye.

Jeremy (23:10.136)
She allowed that math equation to be put on the birth certificate.

Rico (23:14.392)
That was that's the baby that's the baby mama? Yeah.

MIke (23:18.072)
After after reading that now, it all makes sense.

Jeremy (23:22.678)
Yeah.

Rico (23:23.854)
Telling you it it's

Jeremy (23:27.554)
She speaks binary code.

Rico (23:30.466)
Well if you guys didn't know the the Artemis, getting back to that, was the brother in Greek mythology to Apollo or the sister to

MIke (23:41.912)
Sister.

Keller (23:42.892)
Yeah.

Rico (23:44.876)
Well, it's the siblings in Greek mythology. And this is just us signifying going back that, you know, the first Apollo mission was a success. But I I'm actually happy for the crew. And if this is something that is real, I'm I'm happy for the advancement. You know, they look like they were happy.

You know, I don't know why I took four of them, but you know, whatever.

Keller (24:15.766)
What was the advancement though?

Rico (24:18.648)
Well, hopefully we get to live on the moon or figure out space sometime. Figure out because if you're if you're going to the room moon, you're going to other places, I feel like the resources of the earth isn't sustaining. So

Keller (24:33.354)
I wanna know why I owe taxes and they're spending all the tax money to go around the moon.

Rico (24:39.689)
Your Texas is made for that color.

Jeremy (24:42.292)
Here's a popular take. Would you rather your taxes go to the moon or war?

Keller (24:50.218)
I'd rather it go into my cupboard and to my gas tank and to a fun vacation for once in my fucking life.

Rico (24:59.244)
Good question. The war though, I'm gonna have to go with the war. I'm gonna go with war.

Jeremy (25:04.782)
Well here's another question. What was I gonna say?

Keller (25:09.386)
That is a excellent question.

Jeremy (25:11.896)
Do you think we should be focusing on leaving this earth or do you think we should be focusing on making earth better and repairing it?

Keller (25:21.762)
make it better and repair it, even though that's not going to happen and we're just gonna blow shit up anyways. And eventually even if we do move somewhere else, we're just gonna fuck that up too, because we're an invasive species and we kill everything and destroy everything.

Jeremy (25:36.61)
We are a disease. We are a fucking parasite.

Keller (25:39.98)
Yeah, pretty much.

We dirty the water, we eat all the fucking greenery.

Rico (25:47.096)
Some marrying it funeral march over here.

MIke (25:50.133)
W what are we supposed to do?

Keller (25:52.715)
Nothing, that's what we are.

MIke (25:54.45)
But

Rico (25:54.995)
Our farmers we are

MIke (25:58.638)
Bumper.

Rico (26:00.142)
Bop bop bop.

Keller (26:01.432)
I wish we went back to all being farmers. That's what I wish.

Jeremy (26:05.388)
We are the only species that doesn't coexist with the earth.

Rico (26:09.612)
We're also the only species that pays for car insurance when there's no fucking reason.

Keller (26:17.998)
Not all of us pay for it.

MIke (26:20.494)
I think I think I think this is a this is a good lead into the the darkest corner. I I got a feeling there's a reason why the we're c talking about this.

Rico (26:30.924)
Mike, you couldn't be more right. Should should I keep going? Should I go? Yeah. So it's funny that we're talking about aliens because my theory, the aliens, right, has given us the scooters that you find around downtown because nobody knows where they're made from. Nobody knows when they get there. You just they just showed up.

MIke (26:34.134)
Absolutely.

MIke (26:55.126)
Wait a second, wait a second. You're talking about like the lime scooters you see down? my god.

Rico (26:58.85)
Town scooter yes, yeah. Where did they come from? Nobody can answer that. Where's the factory for the lime scooters at? Show me. Google Earth that bitch right now. You can't because the aliens has given it to us. Can't get rid of one. They never break. There's a whole conspiracy theory, a whole conspiracy group that think that the

MIke (27:05.304)
Where's the

MIke (27:17.954)
If you

Rico (27:27.528)
That that what I'm saying is true. I got it from them. They were saying that there's

Jeremy (27:35.022)
Ha ha ha.

MIke (27:35.752)
Ha ha ha ha.

Jeremy (27:39.062)
Whoa.

Keller (27:45.48)
Rico's never seen that before.

Rico (27:53.43)
Okay, so I'm taking it for the top.

Yeah, so I believe the aliens

have given us the lime scooters, the the the scooters downtown. There is no there is no record of a factory manufacturing these scooters with bikes. There's no their record. There is a legit community that thinks I'm I'm right.

Jeremy (28:07.982)
Mm-hmm.

MIke (28:29.196)
Because

Keller (28:29.678)
I think it's the Mayans.

Rico (28:32.322)
The Who?

Jeremy (28:33.454)
The reason their civilization stopped is because they learned about space travel and traveled to a faraway galaxy and thrived and then come back occasionally to give us lime scooters.

Rico (28:46.118)
I I know it sounds wild, but listen to me. If you thought about it, this phenomenon just happened. I was like I you saw one person doing it and he was like, Hey, did he buy that? Then next three weeks, everybody got one. This is people, some people's mode of transportation today. Yeah.

MIke (29:01.3)
And two to three.

Keller (29:09.378)
I could kill somebody's water.

Jeremy (29:10.594)
Yeah.

Rico (29:11.406)
I'm gonna use the line scooters. Where do they come from? Well, I don't know. I just go to the corner and pick one up.

Jeremy (29:18.99)
I've never seen a lime truck.

MIke (29:22.606)
Thank you. This is true.

Jeremy (29:25.186)
Listen, I guess they don't rent those yet.

Rico (29:28.59)
It's the equivalent of just saying, you know what? It's a it's a great idea, but I think it's the aliens. You can't never find nobody dropping them off, maintenance them. You don't see nobody doing that. It's the aliens, guys. I'm telling you. It's either the aliens or the real

MIke (29:47.534)
And and there's a whole community that believes this.

Rico (29:51.636)
A whole community that believes that the scooters that you find around downtown are placed by aliens. Do I I don't know which ones they are. They

Keller (30:03.624)
what's the point of this?

Rico (30:06.434)
The point is, it's my darkest corner. That that is that's not freaky to you? You you you don't think that's weird?

MIke (30:14.582)
I mean

Jeremy (30:16.334)
God damn, that's a hot take.

MIke (30:18.71)
The fact the fact that there's a c I I I first of all, I don't I don't think the the the the screws were put here by aliens. But the fact that there is a community that believes that kind of boggles my mind.

Keller (30:32.416)
I don't believe that either. I think they were brought here by Iran. Uhhuh. And that's why we're over there right now.

Rico (30:38.328)
That's a hot topic. Iran. That's a real hot topic. Boom.

MIke (30:42.828)
I ran I ran trying to collect collect on those lime dudes.

Keller (30:47.766)
They're trying to they're they're trying to make money to build a nuclear weapon.

Rico (30:53.954)
And they just wanna come and collect the money.

Keller (30:59.807)
Our American dollars are going to their nuclear

Rico (31:02.594)
Yeah, as a bully.

Jeremy (31:04.142)
They're way ahead of us. Each one of those scooters is a nuclear bomb. And they're scattered throughout downtown.

Rico (31:12.078)
that's the

Keller (31:13.654)
They're lime green, so you don't see the radiation.

Jeremy (31:16.156)
my god, we need the aliens to save us.

Rico (31:18.828)
That would be a strategic attack, Jeremy. Hold on now. But I think it's still aliens.

MIke (31:24.47)
We need to have the leader of this Lyme community on the show. And we need to hear their side. We need to hear their side.

Jeremy (31:32.814)
Yeah, we're gonna make him eat his product on camera.

Rico (31:36.27)
Well, I think we should partake in that and we should have stealth bread and we should eat the stealth bread on camera.

Jeremy (31:44.606)
It's it's not just it's not just the name of the

MIke (31:47.042)
If it were an audio show. Yeah, that would work great.

Rico (31:51.202)
Shit, stealth bread. You can hear the crunch on that motherfucker.

MIke (31:54.901)
Ha ha ha.

Jeremy (31:57.336)
Rico, I heard a really good racist joke the other day and I have to share it with you. I really do.

Rico (32:04.088)
Can we not do it on can on on on on air, please?

Jeremy (32:07.126)
You let me know if you feel comfortable with it. All respect is there. I just want you to hear something that I I found funny and I think you will too.

Text it to me. No, I'm gonna tell you right now. I'll cut it if you don't want it. It's a button, Mike. It's a button. Mike, don't hit the bat. How is Batman different from a black person?

Jeremy (32:35.214)
No. That man can go out at night without Robin.

Keller (32:47.681)
I knew that one.

Jeremy (32:48.814)
I wish I could give credit to who I heard that from, but I swiped so fucking fast that I couldn't remember.

Rico (32:55.67)
All right, all right, okay. I get I I like that one. But here's one I heard in real life. I said, What do you call two hundred and fifty thousand black people jumping out of a plane? And the person told me not enough.

MIke (33:13.925)
my god!

Jeremy (33:16.834)
Rico (33:17.422)
It was so funny, I left.

Jeremy (33:21.078)
Keller (33:22.391)
What's the r what's the actual punchline though?

Rico (33:26.07)
night.

Jeremy (33:27.32)
Yeah.

Rico (33:30.414)
That was I listen, that punchline was like and it was who it was it was an older white lady and I had work with. It was just so funny. Please cut that. That is just so horrible.

Jeremy (33:39.834)
my god.

Keller (33:43.822)
No

Keller (33:48.002)
Nope.

Jeremy (33:49.755)
Keeping it if if you really want me to, I will, man. Okay.

Keller (33:56.718)
It's not like we're talking about your friend drinking Kool-Aid anymore.

Jeremy (34:00.183)
Yeah, that's pretty fucked up.

Rico (34:04.524)
I wanted to know that wasn't a dress.

Keller (34:08.525)
Nope. It was wetted with Kool-Aid.

MIke (34:14.638)
Mm-hmm.

Jeremy (34:17.009)
well that leads into remember, ladies and gentlemen, you can support Paco and you can support our show at the stalebreadpodcast dot com. Hey, give us some money if you want.

MIke (34:30.414)
Please do.

Keller (34:32.525)
Maybe we'll you'll help us go to video.

Rico (34:36.257)
We would do the right thing, like Spikely.

Keller (34:39.83)
Yep, I would pay my tax.

Jeremy (34:41.141)
We would do exactly what you would want us to do with that money if you still had it, which is cocaine and hookers.

Rico (34:56.098)
You know, I heard if you if somebody offered you one billion dollars to punch your mother in the face, would you do it? And I and people looked wrong at me because I was like, Yeah, my mom would want me to have that money.

MIke (35:10.978)
She wants the best one.

Rico (35:13.73)
So,

You know what my mom wants.

Jeremy (35:19.53)
well it's it's like that old saying and the the answer to the old saying if if someone was to give you one billion dollars, would you let them fuck your girl? And it's like fuck yeah, I'll bring Gatorades into the bedroom, you know, I'll coach on positions and shit the whole time. I'll bring out the lube if they need it. I'll praise them like y'all are doing a good job, keep it up just four more hours. You know, I'll really go in there and then get my money and as soon as everything's said and done, I'll leave the bitch.

For cheating, 'cause what the fuck?

Keller (35:54.09)
Jeremy (35:56.635)
And that has absolutely nothing to do with aliens.

Keller (36:00.363)
Nope.

MIke (36:01.422)
Have you heard of the the black Dracula? They call they call blackula.

Rico (36:07.212)
yeah, yeah. Black and is a real good one.

MIke (36:09.486)
So have you heard of the Jewish Jewish Dracula?

Jeremy (36:16.91)
Mm-hmm.

Keller (36:20.598)
I don't get it.

MIke (36:21.902)
Ha ha ha.

Keller (36:24.142)
Cindy Applebom? Cindy A okay.

Keller (36:33.89)
Whatever.

I should have just laughed. my redo.

MIke (36:39.566)
I got a g I got a good Jewish joke.

Two two gentile businessmen meet each other in the street. Say, How's business? The other one sa one one says, How's business? The other one says, Great.

MIke (36:57.572)
Really? Really?

Rico (36:59.734)
Th that's that that was it?

MIke (37:02.872)
Guess you gotta be Jewish.

Jeremy (37:05.974)
Well you get it.

Rico (37:07.521)
Sure.

MIke (37:07.982)
What the

Keller (37:11.822)
MIke (37:17.026)
Joke is that the Jewish businessman would be complaining about everything. So the Gentiles, like, it's great.

Keller (37:27.032)
Yeah.

MIke (37:30.966)
Yeah, yeah, apparently.

Keller (37:33.134)
Rico (37:35.022)
We should do a show trading jokes back and forth. Old style, new style. Yeah. You think so?

MIke (37:41.484)
Go for about five minutes.

Yeah. I know the show, believe me.

Keller (37:48.312)
I would say Jeremy's mom.

Jeremy (37:50.348)
Yeah, he'd run out of material pretty quick.

MIke (37:53.038)
Ha ha ha.

Jeremy (37:55.138)
Just like his mom at the Seamstress. dare you talk.

MIke (37:58.11)
What?

Keller (38:01.492)
About my mother, Jeremy!

Rico (38:05.357)
She's a saint.

MIke (38:07.084)
Mom's so stupid she gave your uncle a blow job because she he said it would help her his unemployment.

Keller (38:17.066)
I all I know is old school ones from when I was in school, like your your mama's so fat she wore a VCR as a beeper.

Jeremy (38:23.558)
That's

Rico (38:26.138)
You should do a your mama joke contest on the stale bread. The stell bread your mama joke.

MIke (38:31.778)
Your mama's glasses so thick she can see when she looks at a map she sees people waving.

Keller (38:38.722)
I know Jeremy's got tons of

Jeremy (38:40.45)
Yeah.

MIke (38:41.581)
Ha ha.

Jeremy (38:43.054)
We're at forty five minutes and I'm not trying to run it out.

Keller (38:44.422)
wait well.

Rico (38:47.593)
What?

MIke (38:48.718)
The one the one joke my dad absolutely loves is your mom's so fat when she sits around the house, she sits around the house. I don't know why. He he absolutely loves it. It's a great gets him to laugh every time.

Keller (39:05.388)
Your mama's so fat the astronauts rode her around the moon.

Jeremy (39:09.576)
Rico (39:12.084)
Almost a fact, she played pool with plants.

Keller (39:16.142)
pool of plants.

Jeremy (39:17.378)
When the Artemis went around her, they waved.

Rico (39:23.19)
D

Keller (39:26.274)
There we go. That was a better one than mine.

Rico (39:30.19)
Sure.

Jeremy (39:30.766)
there were aliens in her ass crack.

Keller (39:34.58)
All right, too far. Cut it.

Jeremy (39:36.11)
Dark Silent.

MIke (39:43.062)
I'll see you on the dark side of the moon. Speaking of the dark side of the moon, take us out, Jeremy.

Jeremy (39:49.262)
remember in this economy, if you can't afford a house, it's probably because you're not working hard enough. Peace, motherfuckers.