Widow Chronicles - I saw a physic and a medium

Please join me on my 7th episode where I speak about my experience seeing a psychic as well as Medium, Kellee White.  Listen how I felt validated and helped me heal to have that outlet.  

Transcript

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Hello and welcome to widow Chronicles. My name is Emily Raymond. I lost my husband, Sean, in September of 2020, he was 41 years old. He was taking out the trash and went into cardiac arrest. Our girls at the time were eight and 11 and they're now 12 and 15. This is my seventh episode. So welcome. I just wanted to start off and say thank you to everyone who has tuned in and has been listening. Every week my listening numbers go up. And so I've been super excited to, to see that. And I just really appreciate you listening to my story. If there's anything that there's a topic that you want me to talk about, or a story that you want me to tell or something you want me to. Talk a little bit more about, you can follow me on Instagram at weeping literal at 40. And I'd love to hear any of your suggestions for upcoming episodes. I definitely have a list of Chronicles of that. Working towards that I'm going to get through. But if there's something specific that you want me to talk about, I'd be happy to do that. I can't believe that. The girls are 12 and 15. I've been teaching Maddy how to drive. And she's going to be driving by January of 2025. So I think that is crazy. Just Caitlin is going into seventh grade and she was in third grade when Shaun passed. So this is just it's hard to grasp, right? Because there's days where I feel like God it's been so long since I've. Held his hand or heard his voice. And then there's other days where I'm like it, this just happened yesterday. And I got to miss him so much. I think, right now I'm feeling really good. I'm feeling like, all right, like we're starting to handle this. The kids are doing really well. Caitlyn's gonna not do therapy for the summer and see how she does. Madeline's been doing amazing and she's going to be a sophomore next year. And there's part of me, that's I can't believe we've made it here that we've come this far. And I'm just like, I just want to take a minute and say, I'm pretty proud of myself that we've been able to do this. There don't get me wrong. If you listen to my wedding grief trigger, right? Those are the days where you get triggered and it just hits you like a ton of bricks. Again, that he's gone. And you have to. Figure out how to get out of that. I know I've said this before, but it's like when you get in those grief triggers, Just accept it, just own it and know that it's going to pass I think that's, what's really helped me. In my grieving process is to not fight it is to know that grief is going to be there. Also to be able to now, That I'm three and a half years out to be able to explain to people that I'm in a grief trigger and that I need a little bit of space to come out of this. I hope that this is helping you to that from my experience and that you're listening long. I think that it would be extremely helpful in some upcoming episodes. If I invite some of the widows. From my widow's group that I know to come in and speak as well. I think having some dialogue conversation on this podcast might make it a little bit more interesting and be able to hear other's people's perspective as well. So please. Look for those episodes coming up, I'm gonna invite some of them. Here this summer and see if we can put together a couple of episodes. I thought this next episode I. Do believe in the afterlife and you may or may not believe in it. And that's totally fine. Again, this is just my opinion. And what I'm going to talk about today is you can believe it, or you can not believe it. I saw a psychic and I saw a medium and I had three friends watch the. Taping of when I saw the medium and two of them were blown away oh my God, you were actually talking to him. And one was like, I don't believe in this. She's just adding to adding on to what you're saying. That's okay. That it's everybody's opinion. It's how you grew up your religion, what your background, whatever that is, that. Has formed your belief. I come in complete respect of that. So I hope you that you respect my opinion on this as well. Again, I'm not saying there is an afterlife or that you need to believe in an afterlife. I'm just giving you my opinion and telling you my story of. What I experienced when I saw the psychic and saw the medium. I thought I would start there with this episode and tell you a little bit about my experience, because I did see the psychic multiple times and I did see the medium, like four or five times. And if you can say in your head off what a freaking waste of money, totally get it. But for me it helped. Because I have. Belief in the afterlife and I myself have believed that I have lived other lives previously. If you do follow on my weeping widow at 40, I sometimes make references. I can't wait to be with Sean again, I don't think that our journey is done. I believe that we were put together for a reason. I don't know if I want to call it. So mates. I definitely think that I will love again and someone will love me. It'll be different than my love with Sean and that's okay. I'm willing to accept that and I'm grateful. That I had the love I had with Sean, but I don't think our journey is over yet together. I truly believe that we've either been together in a past life or we will meet. Each other again, in a future life. I'm going to hold on to that I thought I would start talking about the psychic first cause this is an interesting story. And then I'll go into the medium because I saw the medium. Within a month of Sean's passing, like the day that he. That the day after he died, I. Made an appointment with this medium. I could talk to him because hate Shaun went down in the front yard. They were just able to shock his heart back into rhythm. So he was able to donate his kidneys. But I didn't get. Any goodbyes, I didn't get a conversation. I didn't, there's part of me, that's always been like, Did I love him enough. Did he feel loved? He basically, if you think about it, he chose to spend the rest of his life with me. And, I want to know that I treated him good and that he had a good life with me. And then he knew that I loved him. I know that he did, but right. Don't you just want that validation for. One more time just to hear. I love you. It's going to be okay. I'm going to be there with you. I think I needed the medium and the psychic too. Validate that for me and whether it's real or not, or you believe in the afterlife or not. That validation helped me heal. I'm appreciative. For that, that I got to. Say what I wanted to say out loud and hope that he was listening and get some response back. There was definitely some things that she wouldn't have known that were said. I'll talk about that, but, okay. Before I go to the minium one, because that's a good one too. Let's talk about the psychic one. In the summer before Sean passed, he died in September of 2020, and I want to say June. Maybe may June. July somewhere in there of the summer of 2020. Sean and I were on vacation in Laguna beach aware one of his favorite places where I've mentioned before half of his ashes are spread there. We were out to dinner and we were coming back and. We were walking on one side of the street and the other side of the street had the door wide open and was to this psychic place. You have to walk by the psychic place to go downtown from where we're staying. So I had seen it, but it always had been closed and the door had said, appointments. Only call this number, we're walking home. It's probably eight or nine o'clock at night or walking up the hill and I see the door open and I was like, oh my God, we got to do this. We have to go. We have to go. I grabbed his hand and the. We're walking along the Pacific coast highway PCH, and there's four lanes of traffic. And so I just there's surprisingly, there's no traffic coming, which is always busy and Laguna. I. Jump into the street and I grabbed his hand and I'm like, we're going to do this. We run across the street. And go into the psychic and she's, just sitting there on the couch. And I'm like, I really want to reading. Can I, do you have time for one. She said absolutely. Sean didn't want anything to do with it. He didn't want to be read. He didn't want the psychic too. Say anything about his life or his future or anything. He sat in there with me. He did. And shows she really focused on me and reading it. At this time I'd already lost my dad and I'd already lost my sister and I've. Always seemed to be in this. Point of change where I've been working my way up in my career and I'm always trying to look for the next best management job or, am I on the right path in my life? I just always have had those questions. I've always just stopped and been like, am I doing the right things? Am I a good parent? Am I loving Sean enough? Am I enjoying life to wall. I don't want it to be all work. Are we still having a good time too? She does the reading I can't really remember the premise of like the reading, like she had said that there was another baby. She asked if I, we had three kids and we only had two and asked if there was another baby up in heaven and no, I never had a miscarriage. Of course Sean's this is all fake, whatever. Just be quiet and listen to what she has to say. She did talk a lot about. My childhood and having a little bit of a rough go and being able to. Work my way up into a management position and that I was on the right track for things. But while during the reading, she pulls the death card. I related the death card to. Losing my dad and my sister. Just also, I've lost grandparents extended family members. My aunt died of Ms. And there's been a lot of death in our family. There's been a lot of death around my mom. And there's been a lot of death around my father. My father was one of four and I only have one uncle. Living. Then my mom had lost a sister and my mom's real mom had died when she was two years old of stomach cancer. So there's been a lot of death. Around me, a lot of loss. And heartache from other family members, not just myself. The death card She pulled it and I didn't. Think anything of it? I believe she was talking about the death. That was, that had surrounded me. After Sean passed, he passed just two or three months after we had that reading. I didn't go back to the Laguna for a long time after he passed a long time. And it was probably about a year before I went back. It was one of our favorite places. I just wasn't ready to. To go back. It took some time. There are a lot, lots and lots of memories. When I did finally go back though, it was probably less than a year since he passed and we went back. For the 4th of July in 2021. And I seriously, the next day. Walked down to that psychic and I walked into her office and said, listen, Last time I was here, I was with my husband and it's been less than a year. And you pulled the death card. I want to know if that was a precursor to him dying because he died two or three months after we had that reading. And she was like, oh my gosh. Come in and sit down and, I'll do another reading for you. She did tell me that the death card that she pulled at the time I was with Sean was not related to Sean's death, that wasn't predicting his death. She did tell me that the kids were supposed to be in some sort of a severe car accident and possibly killed. So Sean went instead, which I'm not sure if I really believe that one or not, but that's the premise. She told me. And. Also, I was just like, am I ever going to love again? Am I ever going to be loved? I know this was pretty soon after his death, but this was something that I. Totally freaked out about after Sean dying was. Am I going to be alone for the rest of my life. Is someone going to want to love me? Am I going to be able to be with somebody? I, as a person just know I'm better married, I'm better with somebody. This is the longest in my life I've ever been single. Coming up on four years. It's definitely different for me. I always had a boyfriend through high school. And then I was married to Sean. It's different. It's lonely. And I just feel like I'm a better person when I'm with somebody. She told me that it was going to take about three years for me to be able to find someone and believe me. I still think about that. Cause I'm like, all right, I'm three and a half years in three years is going to be up in September. I'm entering my fourth year. Is somebody going to come or what is he going to find me? I don't know. Okay. That reading and whether or not. I don't know, that probably was a weird reading for me after that, because I was definitely a hung up. Like you did you predict his death where you showing the death card because of that? She had told me over and over that the death card was not a predictor of his death. I'll leave it at that. I just thought it was an interesting. Story and how the fact that Sean didn't want anything to do with it. He didn't want to be read, he didn't want the tarot card reading to have anything to do with him, but he was definitely there to sit there and support me. So that's my psychic story. I have seen her again. Probably through the second year. And it was just more of like that. Shawn's trying to find somebody for me and that is going to be the right fit. When the time comes that person will enter my life and Sean will be the one that is sending that person to me. I haven't seen the psychic, the tarot card reading lady. Since then I saw those two times. I did. I have a random tarot card reading on the street and another thing related to the psychic medium crystal situation is after Sean passed, I had this strong. Pull or connection that I needed some crystals to help me. Heel. I now that I'm saying this is all sounds a little, like I'm a crazy person, but I'm really not. I think I was just seeking out ways to help with my grief, really, at the end of the day, I was. Wanted some relief from it or. Just have some faith that. Things happen for a reason, and then I'm going to be okay. As a kids and I started traveling. I think the first place we went up to is we were going up to Flagstaff quite a bit. And there's a crystal shop up in Flagstaff. I had gone in there and spoken to somebody and just said, I'm grieving the loss of my husband. Is there some crystals you could recommend? Is there something I could wear a bracelet they have all those bracelets, with the different crystals. Then as we started traveling over time, every time I would go somewhere, we like went to Kauai. We went to Boston when we were in Laguna there's crystal shops in Laguna. Back in Wisconsin where wherever we were, I would go into a crystal shop and I would pick up another bracelet to help with grief. I started to form this stack of crystal bracelets on my wrist. Then for Christmas of that year, my brother got me coordinates to where Sean's ashes were spread. It was just A threaded bracelet with a little plastic plate that had the coordinates where Sean's ashes were spread. I added that to. The risks of bracelets. And when my daughter Madeline was in seventh grade, she had this English teacher that was, so Sean died when she was in sixth grade. So now she's, she was in seventh. Not even a year after his passing. And at that time, I had been wearing the crystals and pick them up. That teacher was really into crystals and it had recommended this crystal shop here in Scottsdale, where I live. And so we had gone up there and I spoke to the owner and told her my situation, and she had made some special bracelets for me and the girls to wear, to help with the healing of our situation. Now that teacher. I said to Madeline, after, when Madeline brought the bracelet in to show her, and then she said, my mom has whatever, like 10 bracelets on her arm. The teacher told her that. As I didn't need the crystals anymore, they would fall off. The ones that stayed on or the ones that still needed while I was healing. Madeline came home right from school and she tells me this and she's mom those will start falling off when you don't need them anymore. I said, all right, kiddo. I do have to say that in this last Christmas, in December of 2023 the last. Bracelet. That had to do with healing from grief specifically. Ha fell off or broke in. Roll. All the beads rolled down the driveway. Usually they break in the shower, right? Because the bands get wore out I wear them all the time. I sleep with them. I shower with them. I don't ever take them off. That last. Bracelet related to grief broke off while Maddie and I were putting up Christmas lights outside, which is something that Shawn loved to do was to decorate our house. I watched the beads go down the driveway. I have, let me see 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8. I have eight braces currently on, and they are bracelets that I've picked up over the last year and a half probably of. I'm like, okay, now I want to be loved or I want creativity or I want protection. From sadness and I want to be happy and all the things that I want to do in the future. I want to be strong and brave and these bracelets represent. The those kinds of things that I picked up. I've stopped going into crystal stores and said, my husband passed away. I want. Bracelets due to grief. I now go in and say, I'm a widow. But I want something that's going to help protect me to move on and live my life. These eight bracelets that are left on my wrist represent that I also probably about six months ago. The bracelet with his coordinates of his ashes finally fell off as well. And I believe me, when I wore that for three years, I was like, oh I will replace this and I don't feel the need to replace it. I feel. I'm going to just go with what. Maddie had told me and that it's fallen off and that I'd no longer needed. On my wrist. I'm going to, I have not gotten another one. I still have it. I save what beads I can when they break in the shower or wherever. And then I still have the bracelet and I put them all in a little jar to keep them there. We were in Laguna last summer and we were walking by the crystal store and I wanted. Two. I believe me, I know this bracelet thing is a little bit insane. I have to laugh at myself sometime with it, especially too, when I'm out and people are like, oh, I love all your bracelets. Where are they from? You don't even want to know. The story. The kids even making fun of me, right? Don't get another bracelet, mom. Like you don't need another one. I'm like, all right, we're walking. Bye. And we're walking past the crystal store and, I'm fighting the urge to go in there and get another bracelet. But the lady out, there's a lady out front and she's sitting there and she says Hey, it's a really slow day. Do you want a short Terrell card reading? I'm just doing them for free. I'm doing them for fun because not a lot of people are coming into the shop. I was like, sure. Like, why not? I like tipped her five bucks or something. She just did a short Terrell card reading. And what came out of that was I got the devil card. But she was like, this isn't a bad. Thing that, the, this isn't a bad card based on the other cards that I had, which I can't remember what they are off the top of my head. She gave me this card and she wrote what that mini tarot card reading was meant for me. And so the out of the reading, this is what she said to me. She said, In the darkness, I'm free to heal everything. I carry this little business card that she wrote it around. In my purse, in the darkness, I am free to heal everything. That has such strong. Meaning to me. because I do feel like sometimes I'm in really dark places, but. Hopefully, I'm still finding the way to heal. Now if you're wondering, yes, I picked up one other extra bracelet. And it's still on. I'm going to wear, finish wearing these. Eight bracelets until they fall off. I am prepared not to get any more crystal bracelets and but I am not. At the ability to. Get rid of the bracelets. Okay. There's my experience with the psychic portion of it. Okay. Now let's talk about the medium portion. So I don't know if you know who James van Prague is. He is a pretty famous medium. I've followed him probably since I was in my twenties. I've taken my mom to. Reading And then I've also taken just like when he was doing a huge group of people, you don't like it entertaining. A thing. Sean has also come with me for one. And he basically was like giggling throughout the whole damn thing in the back of the room to the point where I was like, just leave if you're going to giggle, because there's really people here who've lost somebody that. Are hoping that they come through and they get to talk to them. And so he has Somebody that he introduced a while back, just like into his circle of people. And her name is Kelly White. You can find her, you can Google her Kelly White. She does medium readings. She also does psychic readings as well. She Was the one that I was drawn to sign up a meeting with and to do, reading with before that, I just want to say that after my dad died I had, I don't think I saw a medium. I didn't go like specifically to see medium just for my dad and my sister. I find it interesting. The experiences that people have had. Also I was really upset about my dad's death and there was a lot of times when I was making. Trying to make decisions. After he passed. I would start to say out into the universe. Dad. If I'm on the right track, we leave me a dime, just a 10 cent, a coin, a dime. I just want to know that you're with me and that you're here with me. And so I asked and then all of a sudden I started seeing. Dimes in the weirdest places. I will do a load of laundry of just towels and there'll be a dime. At the bottom of the wash base, then after I, I do the towels, that's where I find them the most. I have. Just been walking along a sidewalk and there's a dime. I have found in the grocery store. In the aisle at dime. I've found some in just really strange places where. Especially when I needed something. And I asked him to let me know if it's there. If I'm on the right path that he's sent me dimes. So of course, when Sean died, Probably a little hard to tell who's sending what, but I feel like I know who's when, who is, who's sending me. I said for Sean to do the same thing, I just want you to know that you're with me. If you could start. Sending me dimes. My dad will show you how I just want to know that you're here with me. And I have piles and piles of dimes that I have collected over the last three and a half years. Again, I find them in the washer. I think those are from my dad. When I've cleaned up. Stuff of Shawn's or I've cleaned up stuff around the house to make some changes. Because I didn't want to move out of our house, but the therapist had recommended that I make some changes in the house, to make it. For the kids and for myself, just to. Not keep it exactly how it was when Sean was alive, but to change some things up. When I would clean something up. When I would cleaning, like I was cleaning out a drawer and I found a dime at the bottom of it. Just one dime, no other change. Maybe it was last year or the year before we went back to Wisconsin where half of Shawn's ashes are spread. And we had just gotten there and nobody had been at the cottage for a while. Nobody had been down at the dock, nothing. And the dock was one of Shawn's favorite places. We would fish off there. We'd swim off there. We'd hang out there and. On the corner of the dock is sitting a dime. Out in the middle of nowhere. By the way. Okay. It's out in the middle of nowhere on a lake. All right. And there's a dime sitting on the corner of the dock. And I was just like, oh my God I'm so glad you're here with us. I miss you so much. Thank you for being here. I pick up all those dimes and I keep it. We always go over his birthday. That year a double rainbow came up too. I just would like to believe that he was there with us and that he was enjoying that time with us. I'm not sure if you've had similar experiences. I do have a light in the living room too. That changes colors. It's weird. It clicks on and off to kind of the soft white, and then to this other color. It's a soft white and then a not so soft white. I don't know how to explain it, but I know that they're different colors and I can always see it out of the corner of my eye when it switches. Let's talk about the medium. So I Had followed this Kelly White, as I had mentioned before, before I got into the dime story. And I. Literally maybe two days after he died, set up an appointment with her because I wanted to. Talk to him. I wanted to know what the hell, right? Like why did you leave? Why am I stuck here? What's the purpose of all of this. Questions that I'm probably not going to get answered, but needed some sort of. Validation towards. I set up a meeting with her and when I get on With her, it's a zoom meeting. She's in Wisconsin. I didn't know this, but she lives in Wisconsin. And then she's where you just. In Wisconsin. And it's yeah, it was just like, did you just lose your husband? It was just all Bizarre. And I was like, yeah, I did. Probably like less than a month ago. And she said, it's weird. He's been here all day. She said, when she woke up from. She woke up from when she woke up in the morning, he was standing at the end of the bed saying, is it time? Is it time? And she's I, I don't know who you are. We'll just have to wait and see. And he just kinda was in and out. Most of the day. Now, if you have any experience with mediums, they'll tell you that they usually can't come through that quick after passing that it takes them a little bit of time, but he was like ready and prepared and wanted to talk to me. And was waiting. For me. I have the recording. I'm basically crying through the whole thing going, like, why did he leave me? Why did he leave me? I wasn't ready for this. And. She's just saying, oh, oh honey, I. Can't believe that this has happened. Our story, brings her to tears. During the reading. The love that's felt between the two of us. And says that he said that he didn't think that. This was going to happen he didn't go to the hospital that day because he truly didn't think that he was going to die, that he wasn't going to be there. I also was like a huge fan of watching, like the hallmark movies, the hallmark Christmas movies and whatnot. Then when they had all the different seasons and Sean and I would always. It would always watch it because if you've ever watched a hallmark movie, they kiss at the end. And so Sean and I always joked that there should be like an after the hallmark movie, where things like get a little bit more spicy and whatever, it was a joke between us. She brings up in the thing, he wants me to bring up these hallmark movies and I was just like, whoa. And so she brought that up. That would have been, nobody would have known that was like a joke between Sean and I, it's not like I would even go around like telling people that we had that PR that private joke. The other thing that she brought up towards the end too, is just that, which is funny as Sean always saw, my mom was really hot. It was just this like joke. Oh, I'm married you because I know your mom's hot. You're going to be hot when you get older. It was just a joke. We were just razzing each other. It was just funny. But at the end of the reading she's I don't know what he's trying to say, but she's he just wants me to tell you to say hi to your mom. And I just burst out laughing. Cause I was like, of course you did, after such a. Emotional. Reading, that's how he was going to end it. That was so Sean I definitely. Was. Humbled by the experience. Of the medium and I know Kelly White, she still does readings, if you're interested. She's freaking amazing if you've ever watched her. I know she has Facebook too. If. And Instagram that you can follow her on and I've seen her. Probably three or four times between that. I was missing him or I just wanted to know that he was okay. That he was processing or I was going through a really difficult time. I had scheduled an appointment with her and it's not like I'm going to get the different things, then there's a lot of times that she does the readings and I'm like I don't know that person, or I'm not sure how that's related or whatnot. But sometimes she tells me something and then it happens in the future. It's not always something that had happened in the past. And for me, it's been really helpful. It's been a little bit of a gateway for me to be able to. Talk to him. Weather. I believe it's true. I believe that. He's coming through. My father has come through as well, and my sister has come through as well in those readings. I do truly believe. That, everything may not be. Exactly right. Or she doesn't know absolutely everything, but to me, she knows enough that he is there and that he's talking to her and. It has given me some peace. Knowing that he's okay. She said the last time that I spoke to her. That he had gone through his life review. And had come to terms with some of the harder points in his life. And because he had comes to terms with that, it made things easier. On this side His mom and I had a difficult relationship when he first passed. We had a hard time coming together. I can't imagine what it's like losing a son. And she lost her husband as well many years. Then in my shoes, I'm grieving my husband. And I'm also trying to take care of these two little kids. And so we had a hard time seeing eye to eye. After that reading. That he had gone through his life review, his mom and our, my relationship has been absolutely fantastic. Kelly did tell me that the relationship was going to get better and that since he'd gone through and processed a lot of his childhood and a lot of the. Inks that he had with his family before he passed. That he had forgiven. That part of his life. And it was to affect our relationship here on earth for us to have a better relationship. We've had a tremendous relationship. She has been supportive. I'm thankful that she's in my life. I really appreciate that. So there's a, a lot of aspects. That went around the medium ship. That to hear from Sean, that it was going to be okay. That things were going to get better. She also told me that. Whatever I'm supposed to do in this life, which I'm still figuring out at this point. Whether it's this podcast or hopefully, I'm able to public speak at some point and help others with my story, whatever that is. Is that Sean needed to be on the other side, in order for me to do what I needed to do here. And whatever the kids are destined to do, he needed to be on the other side to help guide us. That he's always with us. Now. That I always hate when people say that he's looking at you. He's down from heaven or he's always with you. He's right by your side. I appreciate that, but I physically want a mere. I physically want to hug my husband. I physically want him back. I hope that as I continue to live this life that I do get to love again. I do hope that whatever my life is supposed to be. It will be. I was guided by Sean to get here. And in another life, he'll be waiting for me and we'll be together again. I would like to hold on to. That belief that. He is there for me and that he is with me. Every time I open something and I find a dime, it's like a huge sigh of relief just to be Hey babe, it's so good to see her from you. I miss you so much. I'm glad you're listening to. When I talk to you. Thank you for being here and being in supporting me. There's a lot of times where I feel so lost. And so I'll just ask it out into the universe verse. Hey, babe am I on the right track here? Is it going to turn out? It has to be yes or no questions. Cause the dime is yes, you're on the right path. You're on the right path. I just want to know that you're by my side and that you're cheering me on from the other side and know that you're loved. And then a dime will appear randomly. It's nice when the dimes appear it. Gives me. Some peace, some relief. I always take a huge deep breath when I see the dime. I'm like. Okay. Yeah. Oh, you've been so tense, like just. Deep breath. It's all right. The dimes, signifying that everything's going to be okay. You're going to worry. It's life is hard. But. He is helping you from the other side. I am going to continue to hold on to that. I'm going to continue to hold on that. My life has some purpose. And I hope that you continue to hold on to that. Your life also has purpose. And that. All of us that have lost our husbands at a young age with young children. And even those who have lost their husbands at an older age is that. We have had some sort of impact. In life and that we are together in this journey and it is a crappy asked journey. It is a hard journey. But to know that we can get through it together. I hope brings you a little bit of relief. I always like to end my episodes with something that I've found or something that's posted on my Instagram account. I passed by this one and thought this was a good one. Here it goes. I look up to the sky and talk to. What I wouldn't give to hear you talk back. I miss your voice. I miss your laughter. I miss everything about you. And I do. I miss everything about him. I miss even the times where we were arguing or fighting with each other. I missed the fact that I could. Walk outside while he was smoking and he would just open his arms up and give me the biggest hug. I miss reaching across the bed and us grabbing each other's forearms and sleeping like that. I'm Mrs. Kisses. I missed the jokes and the laughter. I'm missing teasing me. I miss watching him with the kids. Take a moment today. And think about the good things. Think about the things that you miss. And know that. You had those, you were so lucky to have those. That your spouse, your partner, they loved you. And you loved them. How lucky you are. That you had them in your life. Thank you for listening. Definitely be interested to hear if anyone has an opinions or some similar experiences on this one. I hope you found it. Interesting. And you know this again? Thanks for being here. Thanks for listening.