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hey real quick
Brother and sister, originally from Alabama who are now both Nashvillians, break down anything and everything. Trying our best to find the humor wherever we can. Hosted by Amy Goodgame and Marty Booth.
hey real quick
Wind Chill? and Shopping Malls
Ever wondered if the "wind chill" your weather app warns about is just a mischievous typo for "windshield"? Join us as we humorously mix up holiday leftovers and cold weather jargon while sharing tales of post-Thanksgiving adventures. You'll find out why cranking up the car in freezing temperatures is both an art and a science, and how the battle of HVAC systems versus fireplaces can turn into a heated debate. Our stories promise warmth, laughter, and a few tips to help you embrace winter's chill with humor and relatability.
Shopping during the holiday season can be like navigating a maze filled with quirky encounters and sensory overload. We recount our own misadventures, from dodging persistent kiosk vendors to the irony of needing allergy medication after a visit to the perfume store. Listen in as we poke fun at those awkward mall massage chairs that seem more like medieval torture devices and candy stores that offer sweet temptation. Despite our shared aversion to the chaos of retail therapy, we find solace in the comfort of reminiscing about those nostalgic shopping mall experiences from our childhood.
Step back in time and join us for a whimsical journey through memories of themed restaurants and iconic department stores. We fondly recall the unique charm of Service Merchandise's conveyor belt system and the cherished keepsakes from upscale places like Parisian. Along the way, we explore family anecdotes about the overpriced delights of jungle-themed dining and the joy of a stress-free trip to the Lego store. This episode is a delightful blend of holiday cheer, shopping tales, and the warmth of shared family memories.
Welcome to Hero Quickie. I hope you had a good Thanksgiving.
Speaker 2:We did, we did, we did it was good. It was good.
Speaker 1:Ate too much food.
Speaker 2:But it was so good.
Speaker 1:Yeah, leftovers are gone.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we had turkey ham leftovers. I mean, we continued to eat the food until it was all gone, but 17 people tend to do that. Yeah, yeah, but it was nice.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it was nice. It is cold now though.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was 16 when I woke up this morning, not the windchill, the actual temperature.
Speaker 1:Well, I had a conversation last night. We were driving in the car and I something about man, I wonder what the wind chill is, and braxton said, yeah, I don't know what the wind shield is, and I was like, but I was like, no, the wind chill. He's like I thought it was wind shield and I was like well, that would shield you from the wind. And then Carter was like because we're in the car. And then Carter was like. We talked about it for like a couple minutes trying to figure out what's going on.
Speaker 1:And then Carter's like what about the wind shield?
Speaker 2:And I was like no, not this wind shield.
Speaker 1:We're saying like not wind chill, but windshield.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And then I overanalyze it. I'm like we talked about it so much that when we parked I Googled it Like I knew I was right. But you know, every time you talk about something so much, you so much like it's wind chill.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Is it wind chill, yeah, and then yeah, but so we got it figured out. The windshield is great when you're in a car, because otherwise there would be a really low wind chill.
Speaker 2:Exactly Sorry, yeah, and it had me second and third guessing yeah my whole life and the weather I think if the wind chill is even in play, it's just too cold yeah, you know it's kind of like heat index. It's already too hot. If you're saying heat index when you add those, those are add-ons, you know. I mean it's like extra guac for the weather. You know if there's a windshield in there or a heat index. It's either flip-flops or parka.
Speaker 1:Like, it's time to like yeah, either get in the pool or sit by the fire.
Speaker 2:Right, yeah, it's time to be inside for the season, but oh my goodness, I did the thing. Where crank your car? Well, nobody cranks anything, but oh my goodness, I did the thing where crank your car, when? Nobody cranks anything but crank it up and let it run for about 10 minutes, which I have to go out there because I don't have the fancy on just remote control it, because I'm going to heat up the steering wheel, the seats, the whatever.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah.
Speaker 2:Before I get in that, mm, hmm, mm hmm, yeah so, hmm, yeah so.
Speaker 1:Well, I don't on that. I don't like when they say what's 34,? But, it feels like 20. Just just say it. Just say it's 20.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because. I mean, I know it's not like the one that we need to go with, because if it's 34 technically and you're outside, but it feels like 20 because the wind's blowing, isn't your skin going to be more prone to frostbite with what it feels like?
Speaker 1:I don't.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:It doesn't make sense. It's just cold. Yeah, if you're outside and it feels like zero, but it's only 28,. You can't be like. It's only 28.
Speaker 2:You can't be like it's only 28.
Speaker 1:Why have you been so wimpy? Yeah, I don't, yeah, well, we got a new HVAC or two years ago or whatever Last year, uh, when we got all the snow. It messed up again at the beginning of that and they couldn't get out here. I mean, we're talking I don't know enough snow where you can't drive for three or four days.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So I ended up figuring out that one little pipe or whatever was leaking. I had to just crank down on the little clamp thing. Mm-hmm and it, fixed it.
Speaker 2:Nice.
Speaker 1:But then the other day it got crazy cold and guess what? It went out Our heat Uh-uh. So we didn't get it fixed till yesterday morning tell me, it was free oh, it was free yeah, it better be yeah, we'll call it free yeah, that price has worked in. Yeah, exactly for years, but anytime it gets below 30 our heat's like that's break that's bonkers and it was just some part that broke, but it's been two years. It should fall apart. That makes sense.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it only costs the amount of a car. Well, we have a fireplace that is gas, but, like just last year we realized when we turn it on, no heat comes out. I know I feel like I'm a senior citizen, but it makes me mad because, especially if the power goes out and you want to turn it on, you're like well, it's hot if I get in it and lay on top of the gas.
Speaker 1:If I cuddle with the fireplace, I will warm up.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so we're trying to figure out. Do we get that fixed or do we, like Randall would really like it to be just wood burning?
Speaker 1:I like wood burning, but then, you forget to do something with the flue or the flute, I don't know.
Speaker 2:Maybe I should Google. You get the flue, get in the wood, I don't know.
Speaker 1:Let me get on Google and see what that is. And then you forget to do something and your house is just all smoke.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and if we do that we probably have to get a new insert, and then you're talking like I don't know a few thousand dollars. I like gas fireplaces I'm going to go with. Let's get that one for service first and see how it goes. But anyway, we got to get on that.
Speaker 1:Wood burning is where it's at once. It's going Mm hmm and there's no smokiness and you're like oh fire. But when you're cold, like, oh, let me go over here and you know what's the coldest place in the house. The fireplace when it's not lit, because you have to go there and like drafts coming down Gosh.
Speaker 2:God, it's a big open tube from your roof, but yeah, anyway so.
Speaker 1:Well, go shopping, buy a new fireplace. Do they have those on sale.
Speaker 2:I don't know. Are they at Opry Mills? I'm going to that place after this.
Speaker 1:Oh I know it's a Friday.
Speaker 2:Well, I'm busy and I'm doing a lot next week and then the next week is right before Christmas, so I got to get a couple of things. I'm going to try to get in there before the teenagers do on Friday night.
Speaker 1:Which, by the way, that's a good idea.
Speaker 2:You know what. You have to have an adult with you if you're under 18 on a Friday night at that place, did you know that I have seen.
Speaker 1:We went. Yeah, they were full on. We went a few months ago, yeah, yeah, and I guess because they got a movie theater too. Yeah, right next to the Wax Museum. Who's hitting that up at the mall?
Speaker 2:I don't know. I don't want to go to a Wax Museum.
Speaker 1:Madam Truth, no, so somebody was walking in, and then they yeah, they got carded to go in the mall.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I was like I'd have been in jail.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, and I'm like is there no safe place that teens can go? I mean, I get some of them are causing havoc and stuff, but it's kind of like the one place you could drop your kid off. Yeah, where are you gonna drop them off now? I don't know y'all going to chuck your cheese I heard that some kids are doing that now at target which, like they go hang out at target.
Speaker 1:They go hang out at Target. I go hang out at Target. Oh, I used to, I know. Yeah, just don't invade Costco, y'all can have Target, you can have Target yeah.
Speaker 2:But I have heard people being like did you see those kids in Target and they brought in a skateboard and they were knocking stuff over.
Speaker 1:We ride the skateboards that they have in Target.
Speaker 2:I know.
Speaker 1:Me and the boys we get Robin goes shopping. We're like we go to the Sporting Kids aisle, go up and down the aisle on the skateboard.
Speaker 2:I don't think they were talking about y'all. Maybe they were, but anyway, these people are breaking things and whatever.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah.
Speaker 2:But I'm going to Opera Mills which if you're not from Nashville it has like five million lights and really pretty rooms and a big garden in the middle like a greenhouse, which that's a very, very quick breakdown but it is pretty impressive. But there used to be an amusement park called Opryland.
Speaker 1:Opryland USA.
Speaker 2:Opryland, usa, and you know what. What other country would it have been?
Speaker 1:in Sorry, Opryland Vietnam.
Speaker 2:We got it. We got it Lee Greenwood, Anyway. So, but it was a good amusement park I mean it's kind of like before dolly would like. Some people are like I like dollywood because it's chill, it's clean and get in, get out oh dolly, you know what I mean. Yeah yeah, she kind of like took that you know but. But yeah, they decided to make it into an outlet mall with I don't know if it's two miles the circle of it I do, yeah, I do the circle every time yeah, me too.
Speaker 2:I always say I'm just going to hit these three stores and I look at the map on my phone before I go in and figure out where I'm going to park.
Speaker 1:I mean strategery no, I miss bass pro shops oh yeah I'll say I ain't going up in that log cabin fiasco. No I don't need to fish or hunt that bad yeah how many worms you need, I don't know Purple with a green tail, and then get out. Yeah, sorry.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you can get lost. I don't know which log I'm looking at, which wall I'm at, but I usually hit like Old Navy outlet. I usually hit like Old Navy outlet and then a couple other like clothing outlets, where I can find clothes, but they're outlet prices so you know, I probably go there two times a year we probably go once, maybe once a quarter, no more than three times a year, for sure two or three times a year.
Speaker 2:I know we've touched on this before, but the kiosks will be strong today and and I wish I had some kind of invisibility cloak or something so I could just walk that thing fast. You know, man, would you like to try?
Speaker 1:nope I just pretend you're reading a text or something. Yeah, whatever. Whatever happened to this?
Speaker 2:And I do that Shopping in peace.
Speaker 1:Well, I walk by them and then I feel bad. It's just that southern thing.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I was at the. Well, this is not the mall, but, like you'll be at the grocery store, mm-hmm, there's two people on the aisle. I'm not even close to the other person. Mm-hmm, maybe seven times yesterday in public, sorry, Excuse me.
Speaker 2:I'm not even touching them. No, I'm not even close.
Speaker 1:No, but then I go to the mall and there's a kiosk. I feel rude if I look down or I'm like I'm sorry, I just I mean just say no or say nothing.
Speaker 2:If we were like city folk from up north city city folk from up north city mouse country mouse, then we'd just be blowing through that place, not even looking at them. And it's not rude. It's not a rude thing, it's just.
Speaker 1:I'm here to shop.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I didn't come for those dragon things. You seen them? Things Like smoke, it's like Dippin' Dots, but they're on fire.
Speaker 2:I don't know what those things are Kids are eating ice cream and like smoke's coming out of their ears and stuff. I'm like, first of all, somebody needs to do some research on that. I don't think it's safe yeah.
Speaker 1:I see what you're talking about. I love the ones that are like oh, would you like a wood carving iPhone case? I'm like what.
Speaker 2:Like they don't even no. Am I cutting tiny cheese on the back of my iPhone. Is it also a cutting?
Speaker 1:board. Well, it's made out of wood.
Speaker 2:No, and it's like we got Alabama the Titans. I bet you do yeah, but I don't want it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, get out of my way. I'm going to the Lego store.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and you know what? I don't like doing Is walking by that Perfumania store. I.
Speaker 1:I will sneeze my head off.
Speaker 2:It's like, first of all, if you want perfume, I don't know how you're ever going to find the one you want. It's like they just made a big cauldron of all the perfume and you just walk in and all but just fall over from it. Yeah.
Speaker 1:I can't do it. We walked into Sephora, is that it? Yes, it is, I was in that joint one time and Robin was trying to get, I don't know, some kind of liner.
Speaker 2:Yeah, lip stain or something. Yeah, I got you.
Speaker 1:Some kind of $32 pencil.
Speaker 2:Face product.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah so we're, yeah, a lot of product. So we're in there. We get close to checkout and I just start. I was like I started like sneezing nose starts running and I'm like we got. That's where they had their perfume oh, and I was like I gotta get out of here yeah I walked outside and just like yeah it messed me up for about two hours that's when you're like, do they have a little dish?
Speaker 2:of like need a zyrtec? Take a zc, leave a Zyrtec. Why?
Speaker 1:don't y'all get a Benadryl kiosk and put it right outside?
Speaker 2:I'm saying you could have an allergy shot station. And then there's always the massage and recliners that people are sitting in, but not like paying for. They're not comfortable. It's just like a waiting room for people waiting for their people to finish shopping.
Speaker 1:I sat in one of those. I thought my legs were going to get yanked off. That thing was like massaging my calves. I couldn't escape. I was like this hurts, I want my money back. I don't want to be here right now. Yeah, it's like a little kid just digging his elbow in your calf muscle.
Speaker 2:I was like this is not the massage chair I envisioned and Like this is not the massage chair I envisioned and you're like do you have an Icy Hot kiosk?
Speaker 1:Yeah, they do have a. I don't know if it's still there a store at Opry Mills called Sugar. Oh yeah, just the candy store, yeah that place yeah. Yeah, that is. That's a lot.
Speaker 2:You should get a vial of insulin on your way out. If you complete the punch card, we'll give you free insulin. That's too much. Nobody needs that.
Speaker 1:What I don't like about Opry Mills is they all. I feel like two or three stores we go to. They're always, like, real close to each other. You know what I'm saying? Like, oh, I can just do this one little wing and I can get out of here. And then you get in there and you're like where's that one? Well, it's on the other side, past the puma outlet.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they spread out a few. They do they figure out what you like. Yeah, and then they position them around Like they're going to make you walk that whole thing.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, whole thing. Oh yeah, like I've got on running shoes, I don't look cute, I don't look put together, because it's all about function, and then it's 16 degrees, so I got the biggest coat I own and then, when you go shopping, yeah, I don't know, maybe this is a girl thing but do you take that big old coat with you, because then when you come out it's gonna be windy up in there you check out by the river.
Speaker 1:It's gonna be windy when you go out of there you're checking ids at the door, just get a coat check, you know I want to get one of them little cars and just ride around in it, like those kids do, good gracious how much is the cover? I'm 47 and I don't want to carry this that that would make money well I don't know.
Speaker 2:I don't want anybody holding my coat, though I don't know what they're doing not at the the mall. No, uh-uh, but anywho. So I'm getting ready to do that business man.
Speaker 1:I do not enjoy shopping.
Speaker 2:I don't either. Here's the thing. I'd rather shop for other people, right.
Speaker 1:Oh, totally.
Speaker 2:But I like to have new clothing and things that I feel good in, but I don't like having to go find those pieces of clothing. So I have like two stores I go to for myself because it's got to have a petite section because I'm short.
Speaker 1:Otherwise it's like oh, those pants would be cute if you were four inches tall.
Speaker 2:I can't afford to go to you know alterations or anything. I can't afford to go to you know alterations or everything. But but yeah, opry Mills, I will say this this was not Christmas shopping, but I went to Target the other day because it was right before Thanksgiving and Randall needed this one. He's got two white dress shirts, whatever and I went and I was like, oh, I didn't get it to get him to the cleaners, I'll just wash it myself and then starch them and iron them, cause you know like he like wears it under a vest and tie the whole thing. He's got online interviews, yada, yada, yeah, and that's the only thing I usually take to the cleaners is his like dress shirts, but not a lot Cause he doesn't use them a lot.
Speaker 2:So I'd go to target cause I didn't have any starch. So you know how you can look things up online on the app It'll tell you it's an A61.
Speaker 2:I'm at A61 in the Downy Wrinkle Releaser, all the fabric softener and dryer sheets and even the Dry-L, which is a product that you can like use instead of going to the dry cleaners which, whatever, and I was like they don't have any faultless starch. That's what the brand is, so anybody 50 or over might know what that is. So finally, I said excuse me, ma'am, and this person was probably 19 or 20.
Speaker 1:Oh, they ain't going to know. They're probably like starch she goes starch.
Speaker 2:And then she got another guy to come and I said well, it says you have seven. And I was like it says I can order it and pick it up in two hours, but I live four minutes from here and I'm already in the store, so I'd love to buy it now because I'm buying other things. And she's like well, I don't know, I think that means that's just for pickup. And I was like so you only have them for people to pick up. So we got past that and realized no, they probably did have seven cans of starch. This other guy comes who looks like he might've worked there a little longer, and he goes it's for cooking. I was like, oh no, let's back up again, shall we All right, let's all follow. I was like you spray it on clothes to iron them to get a sharp, creaseless look, so like a dress shirt that you would wear to a funeral or an interview at a company with a tie.
Speaker 2:You know I'm trying not to be like condescending or whatever.
Speaker 1:Or pancakes, if you like them stiff.
Speaker 2:Yeah, chips with no ridges? I don't know, but I was like I just need a can of starch man. I was like, I almost was like she goes. Well, you can't go back there. I was like well, I'm not trying to get back in the back, I mean.
Speaker 1:I'll go back there.
Speaker 2:Yeah, finally they realized, oh, that order hasn't come. So I got at the grocery store but it was like, and they had a spot for it on the thing F and they had a spot for it on the thing Faultless starch. It was at Publix, I got it at Publix.
Speaker 1:That's what happens. Well, first of all, I'm too indecisive. So if I'm shopping for myself, I will shop forever and then just be like I don't need it and then I don't get it. But I'll be at Opry Mills, you'll be in the store, and every time I end up on my phone, well, I'm just going to look on Amazon, and then you get on Amazon like that's $15 cheaper.
Speaker 2:I know I hate to give them more money.
Speaker 1:I know I do too, but why am I here?
Speaker 2:I know it's not like.
Speaker 1:The mall is some like you know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, added bonus. Family run business Exactly.
Speaker 1:I mean maybe the kiosk, or I don't know.
Speaker 2:I mean if the mall pretzel makes it worth it for you. I guess, Great, but I'll say this In that little carousel like food court section. You know what I'm talking about that big old part. They don't even have a Starbucks anymore. Last time we had to go there, oh, we went to find Randall some dress pants, like not like suit pants, but like casual pants that aren't jeans.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And we're like ma'am, we could use a coffee. You want to split a Starbucks, Whatever.
Speaker 1:Well, they got a caribou right, or something like that.
Speaker 2:They ain't got coffee in the mall they didn't have a moose or nothing. What I'm telling you is there was no coffee and we're like we went up to the guy with the Dragon Ball ice cream smoky thing and we're like, hey, where's the Starbucks? He's like, oh, they don't have one anymore. I was like in the two mile long loop mall there's no Starbucks.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you don't think somebody would need to pick me up at some point?
Speaker 2:I don't know that makes me more tired than doing manual yard work.
Speaker 1:I guess I'm going to sugar and snort some nerds or something, because I need to pick me up.
Speaker 2:Let's finish this shopping spree on a sugar high. I'm sure we won't be in a bad mood on the way home, but I'm doing that today.
Speaker 1:Man.
Speaker 2:But anyway.
Speaker 1:I like how, when I go, we always do hit up the Lego store.
Speaker 2:It's cool.
Speaker 1:It's cool, but they have like a little the Lego store. There is like a weird little not nightclub, but they have the little rope.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, and then they have to wait.
Speaker 1:They're like hold on, and then like three people leave and they're like how many you got?
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Like four. I'm like you're good. I'm like it's Legos dude.
Speaker 2:Like what do?
Speaker 1:you think we're going to do Like just tear the store up or like break windows to get in? I can tell when a place is crowded. You have clear walls.
Speaker 2:Right, it's just all windows and there's not liquor or drugs in here, it's just Legos.
Speaker 1:We're not cattle, we're not just going to all walk in and just keep pressing and knock everything over. We know what crowds are. We're at the mall.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it is weird right. It's weird, you feel like they should card your kid. You're like they're a preschool kid. What are they going to do? Yeah, but they do have cool selections man. Last time I was in there they had the whole Lord of the Rings with the Mordor and the Great Eye and all that I was like okay, I'm a nerd, I would totally build that.
Speaker 1:You're like who's buying all that? That is cool.
Speaker 2:Yeah, exactly who needs a?
Speaker 1:oh, that's ridiculous. You see what that grown man what is that?
Speaker 2:But it is Monet. You're like, okay, yeah, no, that's not in the budget.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but.
Speaker 2:To wait on Mordor. Do you have all your Christmas shopping done?
Speaker 1:Pretty much.
Speaker 2:Wow.
Speaker 1:Y'all aren't on it.
Speaker 2:Well, it's because I go to Costco too much and I'll just be there and I'll be like that's cool and I just get it. Yeah, there you go.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we try to just kind of go ahead and do it.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Because, I don't know, toward the end it gets all chaotic. No, I'll have, I'll return a bunch of stuff. Okay, post no before christmas.
Speaker 2:Oh no, we almost just kind of like get it and then just kind of reassess and be like that's too.
Speaker 1:We don't need this and this, yeah and then we just kind of take back, because the return line before is not long no, and you know what you don't get hit.
Speaker 2:well, now that's on sale. Right, so you just get this much back, Because that's what I like to do. Uh, I'll tell you this customer service. I was in the customer service aisle line at Walmart two days ago.
Speaker 1:I found that one.
Speaker 2:The person in front of me Issues.
Speaker 1:Were there some issues. There were some issues.
Speaker 2:And I think everybody was trying. The person that was working there was probably trying, and probably the lady was trying, but they were not hitting at the same level and it got a little got a little tense. Everybody in line, I think, felt the tension and I was like, oh no, is that woman? I'm gonna have to go next and I'm gonna have to go to that lady's register lady's yeah, register.
Speaker 2:She was not gonna be happy and the lady said that worked there, said I don't need you to unwrap it, just leave it in the wrapper. Not totally like that, but that's what she got across. And the lady goes okay, but you need to set it, and was just being kind of pushy about it, not in a mean way, but went ahead and unwrapped whatever the said item was and then the employee showed her item was and then the employee showed her dissatisfaction with that and then finally that lady goes well, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to cause you trouble in your day or cause you stress in your day and the lady goes my day's fine.
Speaker 2:I was like oh I hope my day's fine after I go to her line. But then I was like super nice and like just straightforward, here's some pants, nothing wrong with them. They didn't fit.
Speaker 1:Yeah, this is the card. I'm so sorry I was dumb and bought the wrong thing. It's not.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:You know what? It's fine, I'll take it.
Speaker 2:I do not envy those people's job. Woo man.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and the customer service Gosh.
Speaker 2:Do you remember gift wrap? Free gift wrap at the department stores?
Speaker 1:Yeah, they still have that Cool Springs Mall. They would have like a section you could buy stuff at any store, take it to them and they would gift wrap it. Free or for no, I think it's free, but you also have to stand there.
Speaker 2:And wait.
Speaker 1:And which I ain't doing. That.
Speaker 2:No, but I remember like going to Rich's or McRae's or whatever, or you go back to the like customer service and then they have to.
Speaker 1:They had it on the wall, would you?
Speaker 2:like the striped or the holly berry or the Santa Claus or the reindeer. Do you want curled ribbons? They'd be curling them, ribbons with the scissors. Remember that.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Dog and you knew somebody got it wrapped at Macy's because they put that little seal on it with the ribbon.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah.
Speaker 2:Macy's or Rich's. Ooh, they kind of wrapped.
Speaker 1:Man, they care.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that was bougie.
Speaker 1:Well, that was always when I was the most tired, because that was at the end of shopping.
Speaker 2:And you're like seven years old and I'm over there.
Speaker 1:I ain't got no smartphone, I ain't got no tablet. How are you surviving?
Speaker 2:How are you even breathing?
Speaker 1:I'm just playing with a wall. I'm just like you know, leaning up against something there's nothing to do. You've been drug all over that mall for three and a half hours.
Speaker 2:You're like. Can we please get a cheeseburger on the way home?
Speaker 1:That's why kids used to hide in racks of clothes. Yeah, they're bored Because there was nothing to do except hide and seek in Kmart or Rich's. Mcrae's or whatever, what was the other one Sears, I guess, yeah, pizzitz.
Speaker 2:Parisian, or Rich's, mcrae's or whatever. What was the other one? Sears, I guess? Yeah Pazitz, parisian, yeah Pazitz.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Pazitz, wasn't that also a middle school in Birmingham.
Speaker 2:Yes, okay, yes, sounds more like a middle school, yep.
Speaker 1:But I remember hiding in racks of clothes. I remember like older ladies well, they were probably 40, but they would be like opening like looking at dresses.
Speaker 2:And you're like hey.
Speaker 1:No, they would like move the dress and then I'd just be there like creepy stare because I didn't want to like say boo, because you don't want to get in trouble, but you can't like jet, because they're going to see you run off. Right, so you just stay still, and it's just like that creepy little boy in the clothes rack and they're just like, oh my gosh.
Speaker 2:Yeah, sorry, is this the Shining? What is this?
Speaker 1:Red dress, yeah so. Oh my gosh, but I liked Sears, and that's why dad's always like. They got tools Because yeah, that's why dad's like Sears, because they're like yeah, honey go shop. Let's go look at lawnmowers.
Speaker 2:Exactly.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:It's all in the same store.
Speaker 1:Yeah, look at this drill and you're like. But they also had toys. They had a little bit of like. I think they had Remote control cars Mm-hmm, mm-hmm yeah.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah.
Speaker 1:I'll tell you the worst, which I'm glad we don't have this anymore Service merchandise. They had the best catalog, mm-hmm, but everything in the store was on display. Yeah, there was always just one. Yeah, and they'd be like oh, you want that.
Speaker 2:Uh-huh.
Speaker 1:Fill out this clipboard and it was like some big metal contraption clipboard.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:What in the world Do they not trust anybody?
Speaker 2:And then when you got the item, do you know, the first cassette tape I bought was Can't Slow Down by Lionel Richie. He's sitting in a wicker chair on the front, I believe, and it was at Service Merchandise and like you said, and what happens is I said I want this, I want this, whatever they take it. You take it up to some desk and it was a conveyor belt and your item would come out on a conveyor belt.
Speaker 1:Now that's kind of cool.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was nuts.
Speaker 1:It's like Willy Wonka they.
Speaker 2:They have everything locked down. They don't trust nobody yeah they didn't trust employees. No, uh-uh, Like there must have just been a guy with a gun in the back going. I'll release this item, I guess. Yeah, who's wanting it? You know what I mean. Also, it might have been GoPro. Do you remember that place that? Was kind of like a jewelry store, but also a little bit of service merchandise sprinkling in. You know what I'm saying. Might have a microwave or a fan or a lamp.
Speaker 1:GoPro.
Speaker 2:Or a watch.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, gopro, was it Parisian too? Parisian was the department store the uppity. No, I know.
Speaker 2:And they had the best party dresses or, like girls' dresses.
Speaker 1:Tell me about it.
Speaker 2:You're like I was there I was seven staring at the wall, but um, yeah, whoo parisian yeah, I still have a wooden hanger from parisian with the, with the, like the hanger, that also you hang suit pants on the little dowel from parisian from parisian, because we bought randall a suit at parisian before he got married and I just kept the hanger.
Speaker 1:I, I don't, I guess I said that word a lot. You could sell that thing.
Speaker 2:No, it's got to be worth something. A hanger from Paris.
Speaker 1:It's got to be the only one.
Speaker 2:It's a wooden one. The suit's been long gone.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Anyway.
Speaker 1:Well, robin's dad worked at well it was, before it was Belk, it was Dillard's and then before it was.
Speaker 2:Dillard's, it was Gafer's. Yeah, right, yep.
Speaker 1:Because that's what they had it.
Speaker 2:It was a huge one in Tuscaloosa. It's where everybody went.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And the Galleria in Birmingham.
Speaker 2:Cool Springs Galleria man no.
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 2:Not Cool Springs River Chase.
Speaker 1:Gallery, river Chase Gallery that's where I went when I was 14.
Speaker 2:The Winfrey Remember Oprah Winfrey had the big hotel attached to it?
Speaker 1:Was that her?
Speaker 2:hotel yes, it was called the Winfrey.
Speaker 1:Oh, didn't she go there like opening day and then never came back, probably?
Speaker 2:You get a hotel and I'm never coming back. I don't know, but it was called the Winfrey yeah.
Speaker 1:I remember that I didn't say re. I remember that.
Speaker 2:It was attached that mall was huge.
Speaker 1:I used to love that mall because that was 14, 15, 16 years old. I get dropped off. That's back when malls had arcades I'm not talking about Now. Opry Mills has a Dave and Buster's, which is legit.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah.
Speaker 1:But remember like had a Diamond Gems. Yes, and you go up to the Diamond Gems play video games, and we used to. I guess we're just on Mall.
Speaker 2:Well, I'm going there so Brookwood Mall. Ooh, yeah.
Speaker 1:Right behind our house in Mountain Brook. Yes, so there was a giant hill and my buddy Charlie, he used to rappel, like with a rappelling gear he would rappel there was one day like he rappelled down.
Speaker 2:Uh-huh.
Speaker 1:But yeah anyway, so we'd walk through the woods.
Speaker 2:Uh-huh.
Speaker 1:There was another way you could get down too. So we'd walk down through the woods and go to the mall, uh-, so we'd walk down through the woods and go to the mall and every time mom and dad would say Marty, make sure you save a quarter to call us to come get you.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:So we'd go to the arcade Street Fighter. Whatever we're playing, I don't know.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Double Dragon, whatever, and you're getting toward the end.
Speaker 2:You're like man, we're close to beating this.
Speaker 1:Every single time I use that quarter.
Speaker 2:No, oh my gosh.
Speaker 1:And then we go to the pay phone and I'd call Colette and they're like, will you accept a call? And they'd be like did you spend the quarter? Well, we're playing video games, yeah.
Speaker 2:I never knew this yeah.
Speaker 1:And then one other time. This is random, me and two neighbors. I forgot Griffin was that his? Name, I don't know dude or Parker or something like that, and Danny that lives across the street.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:We went to the mall and we remember those mini basketball hoops.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, they were like six feet tall, yeah, kind of like little mini hoops, but they were for outside.
Speaker 1:Like the whole pole was in a big box.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:He had $20 worth of quarters. Don't know why we carried the quarters and a bag through the woods. He goes somewhere in the mall. Yeah, they weigh them or whatever. Yeah, I don't know. I guess there was a bank in there or something. I guess he gives them the quarters. They give. I don't know. I guess there was a bank in there or something, I guess. He gives them the quarters.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they give us 20 bucks, and then we had some more money too. Mm-hmm, pull our money together. So we're going to split this basketball goal between three houses.
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1:Buy it.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:But now we don't have a car and we have this giant box Right and we have this giant box. You know, it's got the little straps on it.
Speaker 2:They're supposed to keep it together.
Speaker 1:Let's carry it back through the woods, up the hill, back to my house and put it together. We start walking. What happens? It starts pouring down rain Like pouring. We're soaking wet. Cardboard gets wet. Spoiler alert you know what happens to that falls apart. So now we got individual bags clear bags, because it falls apart, we drop it, it breaks or whatever oh my gosh so you got the backboard and the hoop, I got the ball and we're like truck, like trudging through the woods, muddy, wetdy, wet, with like bags. Instructions are getting wet.
Speaker 2:Right bolts, screws, washers.
Speaker 1:But we made it home and put it together. Unbelievable and kind of shared it.
Speaker 2:Wow. Kind of a little bit. I think they got heated even then, oh yeah.
Speaker 1:Like somebody overstepped. Oh yeah, Came and got it without permission.
Speaker 2:Kids now be like. I just ordered that on my parents' Amazon.
Speaker 1:Now you get on Amazon, that thing will be here in two hours.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:See, they will never. They'll never know, they'll never know.
Speaker 2:Never know having to call, collect or use a pay phone. Yeah, and we just pick it up and put it on her face. Remember that pay phone.
Speaker 1:Why didn't you just buy a phone like stop talking nobody even had an apple 2e shut up yeah yeah, it's um. Yeah the mall but that's when the mall was like. I don't think kids now go the mall no, it was at its heyday.
Speaker 2:That's why stranger things kids are like what isn't that cool how everybody went to the mall and you're like yeah. Yeah, it was cool you could have just asked us about our childhood. We're sitting right here, we're in the house with you. Yeah, it's what we did Orange Julius, corn Dog 7. And Corn Dog 7, why?
Speaker 1:they got to put a number.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think it was a place. Corn Dog 7? Yeah, Corn Dog seven. I love a good corn dog.
Speaker 1:They're not good for you. Man, I would eat a corn dog. I don't think I ever had an Orange Julius.
Speaker 2:I didn't, I didn't know. First of all, why does there have to be some fast food place based on orange juice?
Speaker 1:Is it just frozen orange?
Speaker 2:juice. I don't know. I didn't get the appeal.
Speaker 1:Yeah, uh-uh.
Speaker 2:I go to the.
Speaker 1:American Cookie. Oh, that's a good cookie. Just get a couple cookies and a Coke. It's the mall, it's fun.
Speaker 2:Yeah, sbarro.
Speaker 1:That's been hanging in there, that's still going.
Speaker 2:You want a big, huge piece of pizza. That's real flat.
Speaker 1:Is that still in?
Speaker 2:business. Somebody ironed it with starch.
Speaker 1:They had a Sbarro alone to keep it open.
Speaker 2:It's still in Cool Springs.
Speaker 1:I think, yeah, yeah. Man Uh-uh. Mm-hmm I mean back then? Yes, now, mm-mm, I'll try some pizza.
Speaker 2:No, no, no, I ain't eating no mall pizza.
Speaker 1:If I'm at the mall, I mean Chick-fil-A, I will get a cookie.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Oh and well, if you're at Opry Mills, we don't go there anymore.
Speaker 2:But when we did, when we did.
Speaker 1:Our boys used to love the Rainforest Cafe, which if you've never been there, it's a zoo with no animals.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Animatronic right.
Speaker 1:Right, yeah, it's like if you told AI to make a cheesy zoo restaurant.
Speaker 2:Okay, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:And I loved it because they tried to treat it like a real safari.
Speaker 2:Oh, wow.
Speaker 1:Like you go to like we need a table for four.
Speaker 2:They're like okay.
Speaker 1:And then even I guess we treated it like a safari, because they would go to, like, walk us to the table and we're like you mind if we sit by the tigers.
Speaker 2:We were by the elephants last time making.
Speaker 1:They're like requests. Yeah, you're at. Chucky cheese for families yeah, basically, and uh, and then it's just a gift shop. I was like who wants a glittery eyed leopard for 35 after you just?
Speaker 2:yeah, it's all stuffed animals. $20 for chicken nuggets.
Speaker 1:Yeah, there's like a tree, for you know, like the.
Speaker 2:I've never been there, you've never been there, I've only walked by it.
Speaker 1:There's a thunderstorm, I think, every 15 minutes.
Speaker 2:Those are enjoyable Sounds right Lights flash. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, everything's got a Australian or kind of. You know, I don't know the food's okay.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you're not going for the food.
Speaker 1:It's a churched up Applebee's with stuffed animals and a snake hanging on the ceiling. I mean there may be a snake in Applebee's, but like this one's.
Speaker 2:It's not in the wall. Yeah, there's not gorillas. Oh my gosh Anyway.
Speaker 1:I don't go there anymore. Now I have a hankering for a mall pretzel, get a corn dog.
Speaker 2:Oh no, I can't do that. It's post-Thanksgiving, it's time to behave.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, oh yeah, we've got to lock this down. No, wait a minute, that's New Year's. Yeah, you're supposed to eat like garbage for like now, until January 1st. Yeah, and then lock it yeah then you work out seven days a week.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Nothing but water and yeah, water, you're inside yeah.
Speaker 1:Anyway.
Speaker 2:Anyway.
Speaker 1:Well, if you go to Rainforest Cafe, I'll tell the snake.
Speaker 2:You said hi.
Speaker 1:Yeah, have fun. Yeah, the snake is like right there, so you're hanging from the ceiling. Oh that's.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it kind of moves and there's a fake hippo you kind of feel like you're at wild kingdom, at disney, you're like I'm always like what is in that place. I don't yeah makes me not want to go there.
Speaker 1:But and some kids love it and some kids are crying yeah, it's like a gorilla, like two feet away from a three-year-old, just like shaking the tree like and the kid's like I can't eat these chicken nuggets.
Speaker 2:Better do my stress, I'm going to get attacked.
Speaker 1:He's angry, stunnering and lightning.
Speaker 2:Why did you bring me here?
Speaker 1:Check please.
Speaker 2:Can I just have some Dragon Ball ice cream?
Speaker 1:Yeah, you lunatics can finish your meal. I'm going to the Lego store waiting in line.
Speaker 2:I've got my ID Anyway, All right Well enjoy the mall. Yes, tis the season.
Speaker 1:Yeah, y'all have a good one.
