Movie RX
Dr. Benjamin prescribes movies that help and heal through his own experiences or the experiences of others.
Movie RX
Queen of the Damned (2002) Bad Medicine ft. Derrick
What happens when a studio frantically jams two complex novels into a single movie, ignores the author's offer to help for free, and relies on a killer soundtrack to mask storytelling failures? Queen of the Damned (2002) happens.
This vampire rock odyssey follows Lestat (Stuart Townsend), an ancient vampire who awakens from centuries of slumber, drawn by the siren call of modern rock music. He promptly forms a band, reveals vampire secrets through his lyrics, and incurs the wrath of the vampire community—all while catching the attention of Akasha (Aaliyah), the mother of all vampires.
The film stands as a fascinating study in wasted potential. While the source material—Anne Rice's rich, philosophical exploration of immortality—offered boundless storytelling opportunities, the production opted for style over substance at every turn. The rushed adaptation combines two distinct novels (The Vampire Lestat and Queen of the Damned), resulting in hollow characterizations and abandoned plot threads that leave viewers disconnected from the narrative.
Yet amid the storytelling chaos shines an undeniable gem—the soundtrack. Produced by Korn's Jonathan Davis with Richard Gibbs, the music features contributions from nu-metal royalty including Chester Bennington, David Draiman, and Wayne Static. This collection of dark, driving tracks perfectly captures the early 2000s alternative scene and remains beloved by fans decades later, even as the film itself has faded into cult status.
Perhaps most tragic is how Aaliyah's final role became a footnote in her own film—the titular Queen appears for roughly 15 minutes despite dominating marketing materials. Her character, a feminist force in Rice's novel, is reduced to a jealous, petty villain with limited screen time and an anticlimactic defeat.
Listen as we dissect this movie's musical triumphs, narrative failures, and the complex legacy of a film that could have been so much more. Got a terrible movie you want us to eviscerate next? Reach out at contact@movie-rx.com or call 402-519-5790 to share your cinematic trauma.
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Hello and welcome to MovieRx Bad Medicine, where good people talk about bad movies and ugly movie culture. I am your host, Dr Benjamin, and today co-hosting is one who knows music and goth culture, Derek.
Speaker 1:Welcome, Derek.
Speaker 2:Hello, it's good to have you back on, and it's always good to have you on for a bad medicine.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, everybody loves you know. Yeah, let's bring on the cranky fucker.
Speaker 2:Let's bring on that cranky Irish guy. Yeah, we already have a cranky fucker on the podcast, my producer pointed out. But what better than two of them to complain about Queen of the Damned? Today we're talking about Queen of the Damned, released in 2002, rated R, I guess. Rated R.
Speaker 2:Parents, don't let your kids watch this movie, not because it's rated R, but just because it's a bad movie Directed by Michael Reimer, very loosely written by Anne Rice and a couple other people that nobody cares about Stars Stuart Townsend, marguerite Moreau and Aaliyah. So that's kind of what we got for our movie today. Queen of the Damned. I guess really the if I were to give a synopsis for this movie a vampire is asleep for a long time and he wakes up because of rock music and then he wants to be a rock star and then he pisses off all the other vampires because he sings about being a vampire and he starts a fight with other vampires. I guess I mean really it's relatively valid yeah, I mean it's.
Speaker 2:So I guess, jumping right into this, the there there are a lot of things that this movie had so much potential for. Um, yeah, but the the problem with this movie is that the reason why it couldn't live up to its potential, I think, really starts with the fact that this is not one book. Uh, this is based off of two of Anne Rice's books, just kind of jammed together.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it just very poorly slammed together into a 90 minute of Anne Rice's beautiful books.
Speaker 2:Hate fucked and made this asshole of a movie and it was.
Speaker 1:It could have been so much more, yeah, so so the first this is a perfect example of like, when, when, movie, when movie studios, movie companies, when they just when, they just shit all over a particular product, where they bought the rights to Anne Rice's books back in the 80s, and they did a good thing with Interview. Interview with a Vampire was an excellent movie, it was a classic, it was a great fucking movie in spite of time. Tom cruise, it was a great movie and they, they wanted to come out with a uh, with a sequel. I mean, really, it was going to be the trilogy, right, it was going to be, you know, interview, and then you were going to have the vampire list at and then it was going to be queen of the damned.
Speaker 1:Um, they dicked around too long with, for whatever reason, they dicked around too long and they were coming up to where there was a clause. They bought the rights and then there was a clause in like the year 2000,. If I remember correctly, all of the rights were going to revert back to Anne Rice, to where she was going to own the stories again, or the rights again, again, or the rights again. And so they went oh shit, we're out of time. And so they just fucking, just hand, jammed those two together and said, fuck it, we're gonna do both of these and, and you know, put them all out and hammer it out yeah
Speaker 2:yeah yeah, and I mean and that's that's a key thing for for our listeners that maybe don't read uh, to remember is that this this is in reference to the first three books, uh, written by, by ann rice in in this context and that's uh, interview with the vampire was the first one, uh, then, after that one, the vampire list at, and then came the book called queen of the damned, um, and if you've watched interview with a vampire, it's uh, uh, oh, I don't remember what year that came out 94. Um, yes, 94. Um, it came out and it, it.
Speaker 2:It was a good movie, um, and, and I mean it, it was a good movie, um, and and I mean it was loosely based off of the book and but but it still, it still stayed true enough that it made a good movie, um, so I recommend watching interview with a vampire and then after that should have been the vampire Lestat, and this movie opens up very much like like the book would have um, because the vampire Lestat focuses on on Lestat waking up and starting his band and becoming a rock star and and and doing that, that whole. You know that context of the of the story. But they, but they mixed everything, uh, they. They took a third book uh, that should have been its own standalone movie uh, a huge book, uh, and and just crammed it all into into a very small timeframe. Uh, I don't remember how long this movie was, but it.
Speaker 1:It's about 101 minutes, if I remember correctly.
Speaker 2:Somewhere around there. Yeah, about an hour and a half.
Speaker 1:I made a bitchy reference about how long the movie was. Yeah, 101 total run time.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and it's like really Like you can't Look at all of those other things that they made, that they made out of books, like the different movies and things that they made out of books. There are some movies that they made, three movies to cover one book. You know it can go that way, but it doesn't. It doesn't go the other way around. You can't, you can't cover two books in in one movie, um, and and this one is a perfect example of not doing that very well um, so yeah, it's loosely based off of the Anne Rice novel. I like how you have the loosely in all caps on there.
Speaker 1:Cause I mean, and it's the, you know, it's the age old thing of, like any movie that's based off of a book, right, you're gonna bitch. Almost you know like inevitably, everybody's going to wind up bitching because it didn't, it didn't stick to it. Right, you know it, it didn't stick to the book in the novel. That aren't going to translate to the screen and, ok, sure, that's fine. This was not one of those situations, though.
Speaker 2:I mean, they essentially gutted the, the, you know, they essentially gutted the vampire Lestat and they, they really like cliff notes out the, the, uh, the queen of the damned right, well, and, and I mean that's, see, and I don't know, I think, I think it's really unfair to say that that, like it's that you're automatically going to have this hatred for, for books or for movies based on books, like, I mean, there are some that that don't follow anywhere close to, uh, the original, like um, uh, the first one that comes to mind is I am legend. Have you ever read the book? Yep, I am legend. Yep, it's more like vampires than zombies, you know, uh, and they're sentient, they talk to him and things like that. I mean's just all. It's a completely different story. I still, I still like them independently.
Speaker 2:Like I Am Legend as a movie is completely different, right, but this is not one of those cases, because Anne Rice I mean she's kind of the queen of vampire writing yes, I mean she's the Bram Stoker of her time and to take her works and to part them out so much and try to make a comprehensive story out of them, it just seems like a damn shame. But I mean we can hammer on that all fucking night and just say it in 5,000 different ways Um, the, the. As far as some of the, some of the stuff that goes with this movie, uh, the budget, uh, you've got on here 35 million. Box office was 45.4 million, so they made their money back. The thing that kind of surprised me about this movie was the amount of people that went to see it. That were not the people of this culture.
Speaker 2:Well, yeah yeah, the amount of jocks and rich kids that I saw going to this movie surprised the hell out of me.
Speaker 1:Part of it was they were. I mean, they were cashing in on a particular subculture. A lot of the marketing, even though she's only in the movie for like 15 minutes, all of the marketing is around Aaliyah. All of it was around Aaliyah being in the movie. Now, granted, she also, she died just before the movie came out. You know, there, like, there was, all of the marketing was based around her. So you had a lot of mainstream people that are like, oh, yeah, yeah, I'm going to go to this movie because of this chick, or the fact that Jonathan Davis of K was uh, heavily involved with the, uh, the soundtrack. So, corn, in that time period, they were just starting to, you know, they were starting to hit their mainstream run as well, and so, uh, you had a lot of like the, you know the, the guys that would listen to, you know corn, in the weight room, uh, you know to to get their, get their jock up if you will. Uh, you know they, uh, they would be.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, no man, you know the the to to get their, get their jock up, if you will.
Speaker 1:Uh, you know they, uh, they would. Oh, yeah, no man, you know the, the, the screamy guy is all over this fucking thing. And then they've got the, uh, they've. They've got the hot Aaliyah chick, that's all over the place. Yeah, I'm totally going to see this. You know the vampire movie? Yeah, man, I'm, I'm with it, I'm with you're not shut up.
Speaker 2:Right, right, and, and it was. It was really weird for me to to see that in in the theater. Um, cause, this was, this was one of the few that I got to go see, uh, around this timeframe. I, I, uh, didn't get to go to the movie theater a whole lot in 2002. Um just just broke, so I didn't have money to go to theaters, but uh, but this was one of the few that I made sure to go see in the theater. Um, and I was just surrounded by unfamiliar people, uh, which weirded me out. But, um, but what I did? Like, uh, like, and part of the reason why it surprised me, the people were there. Um, um, before this movie came out, I owned the soundtrack. Oh my god, what a soundtrack oh, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:No, the soundtrack's fucking great man, like it is. Uh, for anybody that was a fan of, uh, late 90s, early 2000s, uh, new metal and alternative, uh, you know like heavy, angry but dark, weird kind of yeah, it was all over the place. I mean you had, you had death tones, you had like a heart, you had death tones. Yeah, I mean everybody Chester.
Speaker 2:Bennington screaming for for it in place of Jonathan Davis. Oh, my God, you know the uh and and the band itself sounded like corn. So you had, you know, so you had the Korn sound, with all of the David Draymond singing over that. Oh, it was like a hybrid of all of the best parts of this angry white boy music from the early 2000s just thrown onto one CD.
Speaker 1:And it was perfection for for that new metal. Jonathan davis and richard gibbs I mean they, they really knocked it out of the park with a great fucking soundtrack. I mean they're like you had a lot of things where this should have been good, but you know, the the soundtrack is like the only good thing of the uh of movie. And I mean when, if you've got a movie where the guy wakes up from you know 100 years of sleep to you know decide he's going to join a new metal band, the fucking music better be top notch, like well and it better be made by somebody of the caliber of Jonathan Davis or, you know, any one of the rest of the people on the soundtrack.
Speaker 1:Whatever genre you're deciding that you're going to cash in on, yeah, you better have somebody that's like top of the food chain, that's that's creating the music for that.
Speaker 2:Right and and they had. They had that. They had the cooperation from all of the right people. They had that. They had the cooperation from all of the right people. Um, now the here's. Here's where I feel like it's a goddamn shame they had all of these people collaborate in the studio for making all this music. Why the fuck did none of them have any sort of a cameo in the movie? There's one, yeah, there's one really important one, that made a, that made a small bit part in the movie. But like, why wasn't manson just somewhere like doing doing a fucking interview about you know this, this guy that he knows you know, list at. You know, yeah, you know, I really have a lot of respect for what he's doing for the, for the you know genre or whatever.
Speaker 1:Like, I mean just any number of these people. We need an emaciated, creepy, pale fucker to hang out in the background. Hey manson, what are you doing right.
Speaker 2:It's not like he had anything better going on in 2002. You know, fucking jester bennington, david draymond, uh, wayne static like any of those guys could have been in that movie in any capacity and it would have just been amazing Shit. Put a guitar in Wayne Static's hand and make him a part of the band.
Speaker 1:You know, like I mean, you know, like, like Wayne, could have had his hair down and you wouldn't have recognized him.
Speaker 2:Right or anything but, but they didn't do any of that and it feels like it was wasted opportunity. Yeah a lot of wasted opportunity, a lot of great people to be able to make an appearance in a way that could have been, if not enlightening for them, it could have changed their career, I mean I don't know how much. Okay, so when, when I went to go watch this movie again, I noticed that I didn't own it and I'm not gonna lie, I bought it. I didn't just rent it, I bought it I was.
Speaker 1:I was tempted to, I was tempted to submit you a bill for my three dollars back.
Speaker 2:I can totally. I can totally reimburse you the, but the, I mean the. The whole thing with it is that's like there, there are parts of this movie that that, even though the movie is so goddamn bad, there are parts of it that I can't let go. The fact that this movie immortalized Aaliyah was important to me. The only thing that could have made this movie better is to immortalize Chester Bennington, so that now, in 2005, I could go back and I could see him performing or even just talking somewhere performing or you know, even just talking somewhere. You know in at any at any given point that I just want to recall it and have it up on my TV and that I can see that person again. Um, and that's that's kind of the reason why I bought it was because there there are. There are, in some ways, things that this movie can do for me that some other things can't, but that doesn't mean that I didn't have at least a little bit of buyer's remorse after I hit the purchase button.
Speaker 1:Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2:Because god damn this movie. And again it's almost like the uh, the alien resurrection thing all over again. Michael Reimer Michael Reimer is great.
Speaker 1:Well, yeah, yeah, I mean he's, yeah, he, he did a lot of really, you know, he's done a lot of really good things.
Speaker 2:Yeah, babylon five. Man, like I mean, just ask my dad about how much you know Michael Reimer has to do with Babylon five. He fucking much. You know michael reimer has to do with babylon 5, he fucking loves it, you know? Uh, the, what else you got on here? You got the american horror story asylum, jessica jones, I mean shit.
Speaker 1:Yeah, michael reimer was a hell of a you know, jessica jones was fucking great, like he was, you know, as a tv director. He was really really good, um, but his movies weren't really much to write home about, and I mean this one was definitely schlock.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:But I think there were just so many problems even before he got into it that there was only so much he was going to be able to polish the turd.
Speaker 2:Right, and I mean, I don't know whose job it is to decide that. If it's, if it's the director or the producer or who, well, you know, if you start off, with a, with a shit screenplay, then you've only, you've only got so much you can build off of from there. But at what level do do they start? At what level and where does somebody take the blame for not even consulting Anne Rice?
Speaker 1:That's the movie studio. Yeah, that's the you know that was the studio themselves where they're like. Nope.
Speaker 2:Like I mean, wherever they got the script from, you know, the people who wrote the script themselves should have been in contact with Anne Rice, the studio who brings it up, you know, and says you know, we're going to make the movie, the script themselves should have been in contact with Anne Rice. Uh, the, the studio who brings it up you know, and says you know we're going to make the movie, should have consulted in rice the producer. Any of them should have consulted with Anne Rice. The fucking director should have had Anne Rice on speed dial.
Speaker 1:Um, she even offered to like work for free.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:She offered to work for free and they, they were just like no, we don't want anything to do with her.
Speaker 2:She didn't have any rights to it and she was willing to do it for nothing, like, and and let's just say how awesome that is for like and kind of refreshing for an author to be that way. Imagine that from JK Rowling. I'm just saying, like it's not happening. This, this woman was willing to do it for nothing and and nobody talked to her first, and I think that's a. I think that's probably the biggest reason why why this thing was so bad. Because I think that's probably the biggest reason why this thing was so bad, because I think that if anybody could have abbreviated the vampire Lestat enough to make way for Queen of the Damned to be enough of the rest of the story, I think it would have been Anne Rice.
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, yeah, I mean she knew enough of the you know she, she knew enough of the backstory.
Speaker 1:I mean she, obviously that she could have maybe had been able to find enough Shortcuts, right, because the main thing of the vampire Lestat is like, yeah, you've got, he wakes up and then he, he decides like he's going to join a band and shit, right, but then it's really him writing his autobiography and it's talking about Lestat's story and how he, how he came up and how he got turned, and you know his, his entire background, before interview four, uh, interview, Right, and then it even goes into interview from, like, his perspective uh, you know, of how Louis was kind of being a, being a cunt, or you know how, uh, how Claudia was a pain in the ass, or, uh, you know, hey, maybe they shouldn't have lit me on fire, uh, you know, kind of a thing like that, that kind of stuff.
Speaker 1:Like, uh, you know from his perspective, um, you know that all of that is in the vampire list. That and I can understand some of that is not going to fit for what you're trying to tell with, uh, with the story of this movie, but she would have been able to find a more intelligent way to condense that down, um, instead of just completely gutting it, because they they covered nothing of the stats background, uh, where he came from, uh, his upbringing, uh how he, how he had, uh attracted, uh, the, the vampire, uh magnus, not marius, uh how he attracted magnus, that uh, they turned him um, any of that shit. They they covered none of it. Uh, it was just he woke up and he's with marius and marius is the one that turned him and uh, like everything else was just so surface level that the little bits and pieces in the movie that they did show you of listat's background, you didn't give a shit, because you, you, you didn't identify with the actor or the character at all.
Speaker 2:You didn't give a fuck right, and and that, in essence, is the root of why, of why that it's so difficult to really get into this movie is you don't care about anybody. Uh, you don't. You don't care about marius. You don't know where marius came from. Um, you know the, the, the original character, you know, I mean you, you start to know things like. You know that they were, um, uh, a roman senator, and, and you know all this other stuff, the, the way back before story, uh, and, and all of that.
Speaker 1:You don't, you don't get any of that in any part of this movie now, and what's what's disappointing is like yeah, using marius as an example, I mean that, that's vincent perez, that guy's a hell of an actor man. I mean that that guy, I mean he was the uh, he was the crow in city of angels. Uh, you know, like that guy's, that guy's an awesome fucking actor and was just seriously underutilized.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I mean, and well, I mean you, and that's that's another thing that really sucks about hating this movie. So much is that there are. There are good performances, decent performances from good actors that were just poorly directed. Um, and I mean, well, aaliyah, like she could have, she could have been so much more than she was in this movie. Um, stuart Townsend, I mean, he was, he was probably about, he was probably about the most spectacular of the regular faces on screen. Um, even though, even though he was directed to be, the only way that I can describe it is that he's more, he's more cliche than cliche, like it's almost like he's overly vampireized, uh, in in a way that that it, I it's, I don't, I don't know how to explain it.
Speaker 1:No, they, you know like yeah, uh, you know, uh, listat's character, um alia's character and uh, marius, like those. Those three definitely were like like cosplay vampire you know, kind of thing.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:Really like like schlock, uh, you know where they were, just really like going for it and then some, or it was almost like a caricature.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Like I mean, cause, in essence, a vampire is going to be somewhat cliche, no matter what. Like I mean, it's a vampire, so there's automatically going to be an air of of arrogance and and that that you know, dramatic pause and those weird stances and and all that. That's, that's a part of being a vampire.
Speaker 1:Right and to a certain degree it was just more so. Right, more so, right, uh, to a certain degree you could argue it. Uh, if you remember, from like interview uh with uh armand, where he says that, uh, you are a representative of your era, right, you know the the each of these uh each of these vampires that wind up living forever.
Speaker 1:Uh, you're, you're essentially, you know, you are the snapshot of your particular time that you came from. So if you look at, like you know, marius, where he would have come from, like old, old world, then yeah, okay, he's probably going to look a little weird when you drop him into 1999, death Valley, right, or Lestat, where you know he was very much from like like he wasn't French aristocracy. Obviously you know he's broke ass, but he came from like that, like he wasn't french aristocracy. Obviously you know he's broke ass, but he came from like that particular time period. So he's going to have, you know, kind of like the, the ruffled you know ruffled collars, kind of an attitude, uh, to how he does things, like, okay, fine, you could maybe excuse that a little bit if you're trying really, really hard right to try to excuse some of this shit, but no, most of it's just, it's schlock as uh, you know as, as your producer put in the chat, here is telenovela telenovela yeah, it's, it's just, I mean it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, overly done, overly done, cliches that that made it almost uncomfortable. Uncomfortable, um, and and totally unbelievable tired tropes yeah um, but the uh, but probably one of the uh, one of the most astute things that I've read. Read about this movie that I really, really liked you put on here. Um, you put the whole movie is like one long music video. That forgot it was a music video.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yep, explain that Again, they well, so they, they had the bad-ass soundtrack, right, you know they, they had the, the bad-ass soundtrack for the whole thing. And then they it was like, all right, cool, We've got five great fucking songs, we need to build a movie around this. And it was almost like, you know, like the Michael Jackson videos back in the eighties where you'd have like a 25 minute long like mini movie kind of a thing. That was, you know, just like maybe three or four of his music videos that were tied together and there might be some sort of a shitty plot line that would go through. Uh, that would go along with it.
Speaker 1:That's what this feels like, except it's 101 minutes of shitty storyline to go along with the music video. Um, because anytime they would have something where, like, there was no dialogue, they made sure that they had something from the soundtrack that you know that was covering, uh, the, the exposition, or that was covering the lack of dialogue or the movement around the city or whatever, which is typical in a movie. But when you have something like this, it was more like fuck, we don't have anything intelligent to put here. Play the John Davis thing.
Speaker 2:Play the John Davis thing. We're out of ideas.
Speaker 1:We're out of ideas. We're out of ideas.
Speaker 2:Play you put john davis on there, you know, and then as soon as he starts doing the uh, the twist rap, he's like oh, no shit, no, never mind, no, we can't use that yeah, no, that's good, um the well, and I don't know, I think I think that uh, uh, a big part of it for me. Um, they, they played all of the all of the movie from the soundtrack, in the background throughout the movie and, and with it were there, were, it felt like they just in a lot of places. They just left the camera somewhere rolling and they were like, oh hey, forget, you know, go turn off that camera. Oh shit, well, we might, as we use the film, so we might as well use it in the movie. You know, like I mean, there were just so many shots that just didn't make sense, so many things that just weren't compelling to look at visually.
Speaker 1:It was very much, I mean so like this, this movie, you know, like the, the books obviously are big things that would be referenced in goth culture, right, right. And in the late 90s, early 2000s, goth culture was becoming more of like a mainstream thing. You had stuff like the craft charmed uh blade underworld was going to come out in another year or two, uh, like that. Like it was really kind of getting bigger in the, the mainstream, and so like somebody wanted to capitalize on that, right into a cash grab on it. And this is very much like like somebody was trying to write a goth movie that had no fucking idea what goth culture was actually like and they were just using all of the different stereotypes that they could grab onto and try to make some sort of a cohesive movie out of it. And of course it's not going to fucking work. And I'm not saying anything against Charmed, like I see it, all capital letters here. I love Charmed, charm. Like. I'm not saying anything against it don't get me wrong. I I'm not. I'm not saying anything against. Uh, you know, some of those, uh, some of those vehicles.
Speaker 1:I was a, I was a big fan of some of that stuff. Like I liked blade. I own all of the fucking underworld movies. I thought it was great, you know. I thought it was good. It's not a bad thing when your culture becomes mainstream. It becomes bad, though, when your culture becomes mainstream and then the mainstream shits on it. Uh, like when they when they water it down and they turn it into something that can be consumed by people that don't give a shit about your culture. That's that. You know that. That's the problem that I have for that kind of stuff.
Speaker 2:Well, and I feel like that was such a such a thing in the late late nineties, early two, thousands was um, a lot of people struggling to try to understand the goth culture without being a part of it?
Speaker 1:Yeah, any sort of like uh alternative culture. If you're not, if you're not of it, and if you're not going to, uh, listen to like accurate advisors of that particular culture, you're going to make some particular assumptions that are going to make you seem like an asshole.
Speaker 2:Right, um, it kind of reminds me of um, something else that, like this, is almost like a late nineties, early two thousands version of what. What ended up happening in the late 2000s with, uh, 50 shades of gray.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that that book came out and then suddenly everybody was an snm freak and it's like right, and the snm culture was like, and everybody was like what the fuck you know?
Speaker 2:like yeah, it's kind of like an early version of that and a little more innocent, and I don't know, could you really say that this movie is as bad as Fifty Shades of Grey?
Speaker 1:I don't know, I never watched it. I don't have a clue.
Speaker 2:Ok, yeah, ok, I've had nothing to do with that, anything that you could imagine that Fifty Shades of Grey would have turned into.
Speaker 1:I have no idea.
Speaker 2:I read the books. Right, I read the 50 shades of gray books because I didn't feel like I could. I could argue about how much they suck, unless I did Nah I don't know.
Speaker 1:I'm pretty sure.
Speaker 2:I'm pretty sure I could still come up with an argument without having to fucking read it. Oh no, no, Like once you've read it, then you. Then you have every argument that you need.
Speaker 1:Uh, I don't need to put myself through that.
Speaker 2:It's pretty bad. If you ever need any talking points I don't know that it's relevant anymore I can give you a few Now. Let's see here. Oh, I like some of your other stuff here, but I want to wait on those because that's all about the concert. Tell me, want to wait on those, because that's all about the concert. Um, tell me, is there are there any scenes in this movie that you could say that you enjoyed?
Speaker 1:not many to be not many honest oh no, um, I, a lot of it was really bad, a lot of it was just really kind of tired trope that they were going off of. It was bad stereotypes, tired ass. You know, like I said, tired ass tropes that that have been done a number of times. No, you know, they're really. If I, if I'm thinking critically on it, no, I don't really think that there's actually anything that, uh, you know, any like actual scene that I legitimately enjoyed I thought it was funny that uh john davis was selling scalp tickets.
Speaker 1:That was funny john davis as the scalper was. Um, that was mildly amusing, I will give you that. Uh, you know, mildly amusing the the thing. Give you that, you know, mildly amusing. The thing of that was it was completely improvised, he had no lines or anything in that, so he just went for it and nobody knew what he was going to say or what he was going to actually do or anything like that. So like that was kind of funny, where you're just like all right, here's John Davis, but they don't even show his face. All you see is just like the back of his head, and then you like you hear his voice.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Yep, and uh uh. Well, you see the back of his head in the hair, which tells you everything you need to know. Um the uh, yeah, I, I don't know. I I really struggled with with a lot of it. Um the uh, I I did there were. There were a couple of scenes that I did enjoy uh, both of which involved music, when, when he was playing for the statues, that was some cool violin, I loved it. Uh. The other one was the scene just after he drank the violinist's blood and he took his. He took his skill with a violin and then he went over to the fire, to the campfire with the, with the girl with the viola and the and the dude with the lute and, and he started playing violin with them, just after being told that he can't.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:That music, that music I jam every time, Like when I'm watching that movie I'm just like that is fucking cool, Like I want to hear a full length production of that. Uh, but other than that, like seriously, I I normally I can pick out a few things that I'm like that's cool, that's cool, you know, or whatever, but with this one it really is just it's all music, which I think really I think we established right from the beginning. The only thing this movie got right was the music.
Speaker 1:Because that was the only you know. Again, like I said, if you're going to make any sort of a, any sort of a movie that's based off of a subculture Again, like I said, if you're going to make any sort of a, any sort of a movie that's based off of a subculture, and if you don't bother to bring in any sort of intelligent like advisors of that particular subculture, then you're going to be screwed. And that was the only one. They did right was bringing in John Davis and the particular musicians. They did that actually understood. Ok, we've got a guy that's joining Well. Ok, the book was written in the 80s, so he was going to join like a hair metal band. Well, we can't fucking do that because it's not the 80s anymore. We'll have him join a new metal band because new metal people are dark and scary like vampires. So sure, we'll do that. And so they bring in a new metal guy to write the fucking soundtrack. That was the smartest thing that they did. That was the only smart thing they did.
Speaker 2:So, on your notes, here, I want you, I want you to lead us through this part of your notes the concert Ah, yeah, Okay so so you, you go through a whole lot of nerd, uh, nerdy music, snob shit here, uh, I will let you go. I might interject every now and again.
Speaker 1:Right, right, uh, so you know just like a little bit of you know like background on that. So I'm, I'm a musician, uh, you know, and uh, I've, I've, I've played guitar for like 25 years and uh, I've, I've been in bands, I've been in metal bands, I'm currently in bands, uh, you know, it's, it's, it's a big part of, like, my, my background and what I do. So I am going to be that asshole that if I'm watching a movie and there's somebody playing on the screen, I am that guy where I'm looking at the guitar and I'm going he's not playing that.
Speaker 2:Or he's not actually singing that that's.
Speaker 1:That's lip syncing, or those amps aren't actually being utilized correctly. Because that's just how my fucking brain works. I'm that kind of a prick. That's why Ben has me on this show Truth. Yeah, so going through the concert, okay. So the big thing right off the bat that stuck out in my brain is product placement. So you've got product placement for Marshall, yamaha and Ibanez. That makes sense to a certain degree. Where Yamaha, of course, if you're having keyboards, synthesizers, things like that, yamaha is probably who you're going to wind up going to for a lot of that shit, because they were very popular at the time. They're still very popular for that kind of stuff. Ibanez same thing. A lot of the guitars that were used by people in new metal bands. They were going to be using Ibanez both for their guitars and also for the bass guitar. That kind of falls in line.
Speaker 1:Marshall on the other hand, uh so, mar, like, so Marshall amps are huge. Okay, uh, you know Marshall amps are, you know they are a uh like you don't fuck with them. They're like one of the main names when it comes to it. You see, uh, you know you see somebody with a Marshall amp, even if you're not a musician. You're like fuck yeah, Uh you're like fuck yeah, because it's what you're going to recognize. They're an institution as far as music equipment is concerned, Right up there with somebody that's rocking a Gibson Les Paul.
Speaker 1:It's just immediately identifiable, even if you don't know how to play the instrument. However, in late 90s, early 2000s, marshall was having issues with being able to keep up with the trends and being able to keep up with the Utes.
Speaker 1:The new kids that wanted the super low, super chunky kind of sounds. A lot of that shit was going to Mesa Boogie. It was another amp company. A lot of that shit was going to them. Not a whole lot of people were using Marshalls. I remember specifically an interview with a guitarist where he was like I had a Marshall in the early 2000s and in that time period you couldn't give them away cheap. Uh, you know he, he had a jcm 800, which is what they were using in the movie, and they were dirt cheap. He's like dude, if you you could have it like in the front seat of your car and left your door unlocked and you'd come back and like no, somebody wouldn't have stolen your marshall, you'd have another marshall in your car, like you couldn't give them away.
Speaker 2:You know like they were.
Speaker 1:They were just all over the place because you couldn't fucking get. You know you couldn't get rid of them. Um, but nobody, you know people didn't like using them for that style of music. So seeing, like big-ass marshall stacks on there and, uh, for a new metal band, immediately I'm like, nah, bullshit. Um, you know that's, that's just product placement, where marshall was like, okay, we need money and this movie is supposed to have a shitload of marketing behind it. Fuck it Please, for the love of Christ, let us be in your movie and, you know, have us do the product placement, because then stupid people will buy our amps because we need the money, yeah, so you know, yeah, you've got the stacks of Marshalls that definitely weren't good for the genre. Yamaha fit, that was fine. They did not need two different keyboard players, though. That was a little fucking ridiculous.
Speaker 2:But whatever, well, I don't know.
Speaker 1:There was quite a bit of synthesized shit in that music. Shit is the right word. Anyway, ibanez being used for the guitars that, like I mentioned, like I mentioned earlier that tracks uh, that that actually goes in line. One of the guys in there was uh was actually playing, like I could. You know, I could identify it from uh, from where it was on the screen. He was playing uh in Ibanez universe, which was a seven string guitar that was designed by Steve by and the those were.
Speaker 1:Those were the guitars that were actually used by Head Monkey when they started Korn, when they were first looking for 7-strings because nobody else used them. Like you know, steve Vai, you know, designed the 7-string guitars and the Ibanez Universe guitars and he was the only fucking guy that used them. And then, when Head Monkey wanted to, you know, do like a low sound and they were looking around, they saw the 7 strings and they were dirt cheap. That's why they bought them, because they were cheap as shit, because nobody fucking used them. Everybody was like why are you going to use a 7 string? That's stupid, you don't need those. Learn how to play 6 strings first. That's going to be a whole other tangent. You've got the Saint Anger snare, the snare drum that they had in there, where it's just got that annoying fucking ting. It's like no, that's not what a snare is supposed to sound like. Stop that.
Speaker 2:It almost sounds like a marching snare.
Speaker 1:Right, yes, but more annoying.
Speaker 2:I would say like a marching snare fucked like yeah, oh yes, but more annoying, uh, you know.
Speaker 1:I would say like like a marching snare fucked.
Speaker 2:A trash can I was gonna say, with a little more trash can in it. Yeah, oh, that's funny. Yeah, like a marching snare fucked a trash can lid.
Speaker 1:Uh, it was just awful. Um, the, uh, the the bass stack, you know. Yeah, the the bass amps looked like they were using Marshall in there as well, which, you know, it's pretty rare that you'll be able to find like a Marshall bass amp, but they do exist. Lemmy from Motorhead was the only one cool enough, though, to have pulled that off. Everybody else, if you're using a Marshall bass head, fuck you. Yeah, I mean that's yeah, that's the, the biggie there.
Speaker 2:On all of the, the, the music side of the other, the concert, and then the rest of it is all like, factored in with the, the actual performances themselves well, you've kind of, you've kind of helped validate me as a, as a bass, as a bassist, though I don't have a marshall amp, uh, uh, I think what do I have? I think it's a, I think I have a PV, but I have three of my four bases are Ibanez.
Speaker 1:There's nothing wrong with that. I mean, like Ibanez makes good bases.
Speaker 2:They do make good bases. My jazz bass though, of course, is Squire. So yeah, like now, I noticed that right here underneath your, underneath your stuff. First off, the Mario's fucking golf. Clap that shit. Oh my God, dude.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I died on that when he's just you know he's awkward as shit and you know the crowd's cheering as they've killed the vampires that went to attack Lestat and he's like oh yeah, yeah, yay, yay, Little polite little golf clap. He's like oh yeah, yeah, yay, yay. Little polite little golf clap.
Speaker 2:It's like goddammit, you deserve so much better. Yeah, now you have in here the Matrix vampire fights. Now you were being way nicer with that than I was.
Speaker 1:As far as the vampire fights go, I mostly meant in the sense of like, really, really bad, um, like super fast effects. You know where they had like the, uh, like the bad it's almost like bad vhs tracking. You know where, like you see, like the motion that's going along with them and that's supposed to designate, like we're moving super fast and it's faster than the eye can perceive. Hence the, the, the fucking million dollar man graphics that we've got to use where it's almost like you can hear the like moving supposedly fast yeah see, for me it was like I.
Speaker 2:I looked at it and I said you know, that's, that's dated technology from buffy the vampire slayer, and, charmed like it's, just that is. That is overutilized in television and should never have been done in a production movie.
Speaker 1:Uh, no, because a production movie should actually have a fucking budget yeah, slow motion movement.
Speaker 2:Adding, adding a bunch of like, a bunch of tracers to slow motion does not make it fast, like, and and that's exactly what this was. It was just a bunch of, you know, a bunch of tracers behind slow motion movement and it sucked and it wasn't, it wasn't appealing to watch, it wasn't exciting, it, I mean, and they knew it. You mean, and they knew it. You know, they knew it, because then they started putting the frames into unnecessary places so that you couldn't see what was going on and and all the fights just ended up being confusing, because you're like, well, what was that like I mean, um, about, about the only worst framing that they had in all of the movie than the fights were when they put, you know, the scaffolding that that marius and and fucking listat were sitting on right on top of listat's dick. Uh, I mean, they were, they were proverbial fucking, you know pubic hairs for him on that billboard I have a feeling that was kind of done on purpose, like they were trying to illustrate something.
Speaker 2:There was some sort of like you know, like sub, something that they were trying to illustrate in there and that is the most emotion that they put into this fucking movie, the most intentional thing that they didat on his own dick.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was bad, but yeah, so we go a little bit further. Down here We've got a movie is called Queen of the Damned, but they really just gloss over Akasha and all the backstory between her and the rest of the vampires. Uh, and all the backstory between her and the rest of the vampires. So, um, yeah, they're the, the ancients, as they call them in the movie. You don't know anything about any of them. Actually, I don't even like I don't even know where they get their names yeah, they don't.
Speaker 1:They don't go into the ancients. They don't talk about the telemasca. They, they don't. They don't talk about, uh, akasha's backstory. You know, really like none of it. They just kind of like gloss over. It's almost like they don't talk about the telemaska. They don't talk about Akasha's backstory, you know, really like none of it. They just kind of like gloss over. It's almost like a burden of knowledge where they're just like you know, yeah, we expect all of you people already know this shit, so we're not going to bother trying to tell any of you any of this. It's like it's actually almost insulting.
Speaker 2:You know, as the viewer, it's actually almost insulting you know as the, you know as the viewer, and I think what it ended up doing was it just ended up making a whole bunch of people out there that were like pretending like they knew what they were talking about and just didn't. Yeah, with this movie. That was another thing about this movie at the time. You could tell the people who knew the story, you could tell the people who'd read the books and the people who talked about the movie as though the movie were the way that the books went. Like because they were so, they were so starkly different. Um, and it was always fun.
Speaker 2:It was always like when you, when you'd come across somebody who would argue, who would argue the point of the movie being right, you just stop arguing because you're like I'm not going to fucking win this, like I'm not going to win with this person. Um, yeah, I got, I hated that shit. Uh, let's see here after the after party with all the bodies, worse than frigging Jonestown. Um, yeah, um, yeah, uh, oh, yeah. You're a really good point in here. Character reference here. Uh, when Akasha asks Lestat to kill Jesse.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:I'm just now reading the reading the chat. The oh the side chat. Yeah, yeah. Why is she? Why is she jealous of a mortal?
Speaker 1:right, you know. Yeah, exactly like you've got. You know you've got akasha where, like she's, she's supposed to be the badass queen, right? And in the uh um, in the book she's a feminist, right, you know like you know, she's like we're we're killing, we're killing all the dudes and we're we're creating a new eden.
Speaker 1:That's uh, that's that's going to be full of our own eves, right, and it's all going to be about, you know, like the, the women and you know, girl power and all that shit, right? Uh, you know like she was a, she was a feminist in the book, in this. It's like no man, she's this, this petty, catty bitch. That's just like you know. Ok, well, this, that, that chick over there, I would like for you to kill her. It's like well, but, but she means nothing to me and she's like she's just a mortal, she's just a nobody. I'd still like you to kill her, like, go ahead and do it. I'd still like you to kill her, like, go ahead and do it Either way.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, that's I mean. Well, and it was. That's exactly the argument why she doesn't mean anything, just cause, like I mean Okay, I guess we accept that as the as the viewer is A good enough reason, I guess, right, yeah.
Speaker 1:Like you get, you know what she's doing. It's a, you know, obviously it's a loyalty test you know of. Like, you say that you're with me, you say that you're on my side. I know that you've got a. You know some sort of particular something or other with that chick over there. Go ahead and kill that chick. Prove that you're loyal to me by killing her, right, uh, and it's like, okay, I get it. This is still fucking stupid. Like why, why are you doing this?
Speaker 2:you have bigger things that, uh, that you're trying to get accomplished right, um, so yeah, this from from your perspective is is there anything that could have saved this movie?
Speaker 1:uh to not to not make it like I mean we, we, you know the, the, uh. You know, in a different episode that we did, we talked about you know a movie that was, you know movies that were canceled or you know, uh, not not put out because of, like, what happened with col right, I mean we could have had some sort of massive disaster or something that would have happened that maybe stopped this movie from getting made. Something that would have stopped this movie from being put out.
Speaker 2:That would have made it better to have not existed In 2002, what could have happened in 2001? That would have stopped.
Speaker 1:I don't know, there was kind of a big to-do in like september of that year yeah, why didn't that stop it? Damn it because the vampires didn't use planes anyway uh, well, actually they had to.
Speaker 2:That was another thing that I had a question about. Fucking the band was in, was in la, or some shit, while the stat was at the admiral's arms in in fucking britain. Do you remember that part?
Speaker 1:I mean yeah so like.
Speaker 2:So jesse goes to the admiral admiral's arms and pretends that she was turned by marius or whatever and and gets list at's attention. That's in England, right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Well, the very next scene is the band doing an interview in LA, Like why is the band in LA while he's in England?
Speaker 1:Because there was the band and then there was Lestat, but he's the band. No, no, no, like you had two very different things there, you also had the press conference where the band was in person doing the press conference, whereas Lestat was doing it from the screen through teleconference. Lestat wasn't there.
Speaker 2:Sorry I'm late. I had to try to catch my breakfast Right. Exactly Jesus Christ.
Speaker 1:Yeah, exactly Um you know, like that, that kind of nonsense. But it was the. You know that that separation between the uh, the band and the artist, uh, you know kind of kind of shit that we've seen so many times.
Speaker 2:Right, um, yeah, I don't't. I don't know, as, as far as I'm concerned, I think something that could have saved this movie is to split it. If they, if they would have, if they would have separated this movie into two separate movies.
Speaker 1:Um, just given ann rice a call, but yeah, obviously, if they would have done it correctly, then, yes, you could have had. Uh, you know you could have had the other. You know the movies get saved. They opted to not do that, so I mean, then there is no saving it.
Speaker 2:So there's really no yeah, there's really no going back.
Speaker 1:I mean one of the things that maybe they could have done intelligently was. I mean, the movie is Queen of the Damned. You've got alia all over your fucking marketing. Uh, you've got all of this, this build-up about how akasha is this like badass queen of the vampires? Right, they killed her in two minutes, like all they. All they did was like some of the you know was like what? Like four of the ancients bum rushed this chick and they were able to take her down.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they all jumped on her and started sucking Right, and then she, you know, took about 15 seconds between them to throw them off, one at a time to start them on fire.
Speaker 1:Right, yeah, you know, and she only killed one or two of them.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think she got two she only killed one of like one or two of them.
Speaker 1:Uh, and then like the third one. The third one almost died and then he came back because she was weaker and he was able to like jump back in and continue to like bite the shit out of her right yeah, but like in all of five minutes, like the battle. The quote-unquote battle was done in like less than five minutes and they've spent this whole fucking movie talking about how akasha is this like this dangerous chick that can fuck up all of humanity, and yada, yada, but yet like five minutes done. Fuck you, like there's.
Speaker 2:It's so anti-climactic well, and and I mean it's she, I. I think that that's something else that could have improved the movie.
Speaker 1:Maybe um the fact that it's called queen of the damned yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's called queen of the damned, and the queen of the damned is in the movie for like 12 minutes, something like that, and for like four of those minutes she's not doing anything except walking and dancing. Yeah, like, come on, like just look and have. Yeah, like, come on, like just look and have some dialogue, uh with. Well, seriously, though, like I mean she could have, she could have had something more to do with the movie than just being on the screen. Um, but, but that's all they did, that's all they use, they. They took a Leah and turned her into just something to put into a movie without any purpose.
Speaker 1:Yeah and uh, you know, and like, and she, she actually wasn't a bad actress. Uh, you know, they the. The other movie that she'd been in was um, romeo must die, if I remember correctly. Uh and she was actually really good in that movie, like that's, that's actually not a shitty movie. Um, and it's her, and like jet lee, if I remember right. Um, and yeah, it was actually a pretty good movie. She did uh, you know she did great, you know in in that, so like she knew how to be able to act.
Speaker 1:So fucking use her, you check her act, yes, and the fact that she is the headlining, like her, her character is the name of the movie right, yes, and I I get it that, like a lot of you know, like, yes, she got top billing and, um, you know a lot of the, the marketing behind her and everything. It was because because the plane crash right, it was because she died just after she got done filming her parts, and I get that and you know it is a good way to be able to, uh, create a tribute for her and everything along those lines and it was the right thing to do on that. But they also just like barely utilized her at all, like she would have been a footnote as far as this movie was concerned, even though it's called Queen of the fucking damned.
Speaker 2:Right, right and and yeah, and then again, you know, spending the whole movie talking about how she, how she single handedly, could have laid waste to the entire human race. And yeah, I mean it's.
Speaker 1:It's like you know, and I've, I've used this, uh, I've used this bitch for, like, other movies that have done this same fucking thing, but they spent, you know. So, you know, movie is 101 minutes, right, they have a particular demographic that they're going after, which would have been, you know, if you're thinking, add generation, they were going after, you know, teenagers, early 20s. You know, those kind of people is, uh, is who they were going after. Their specific demographic wasn't the subculture that they were trying to. You know that they were stealing shit from. They were trying to go like mainstream success and going off of, uh, you know, like, as you mentioned earlier, the, the jocks and the other people that went to this movie, that's who they were trying to appeal to. Their attention span is going to be roughly 90 minutes.
Speaker 1:So it's like they did all of this fucking buildup.
Speaker 1:They hit way too close to that 90 minute mark and they went oh shit, we've got to blow our load now, like we've done all of this fucking buildup to it.
Speaker 1:We've got to be our load now, like we've. We've done all of this fucking buildup to it. We've got to be done now, otherwise we're going to lose our target audience. They're going to start to get bored and they're going to fucking leave because they God forbid they just they sit still for 90 fucking minutes and I know that makes me sound very get off my lawn ish, especially in the the, especially in this day and age when we're dealing with the TikTok generation, where they can't even watch a video for 60 seconds, let alone sit and watch a movie for 90 minutes. It's a different medium. I'm not going to get on that bitch Anyway. But it's like they got to this point where they realized shit, we're about to lose our target audience and they just bam. They ended it immediately at that point because they knew that they were out of time is kind of how it was, or at least that's how it feels.
Speaker 2:No, I'm sure that that's what it was. I mean, how many times have we seen that in other movies, where, where it's like they just put too much in for too much of it and then like, oh shit, we gotta, we gotta end it. Now it's, it's a damn shame. It's a damn shame. I guess it's a shit. Can we? Can we just, can we just leave queen of the damned at. It's a queen of the damn shamed, it's a queen of the damn shame. We into the damn shame, yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, queen of the damn shame. Queen of the damn shame, yeah, yeah, okay.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Dad joke.
Speaker 2:My, my producer's making fun of me for being old. Now I mean, yeah, that's okay. Well, yeah, I I. I mean again, like I said, I I hate this movie and there are parts of, there are parts about this movie being made and existing that I do love, but god damn, this movie, it's, it's total shit, absolute shit, and the one thing is still good.
Speaker 2:I have, I have on my iphone, I have the, the fucking soundtrack you know, downloaded and saved as its own playlist and thank God for that. But Jesus, the rest of this movie.
Speaker 1:There are plenty of shitty movies out there that had good soundtracks. This is one of them.
Speaker 2:And there's yeah, maybe we'll have to do a special edition of MovieRx episode where we just talk about movies with good soundtracks there you go, yeah yeah, we'll do one of those episodes good movies with good soundtracks or shitty movies with good soundtracks we can just compare and contrast okay, all right, there you go you know, um, yeah, because I mean that's that we've had two, two movies now that we've talked about that had, uh, that had really amazing soundtracks, this one in Hackers, wasn't it.
Speaker 1:Yep, yeah Hackers was really good.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was a good soundtrack, anyway, uh. So yeah, I'm uh, I'm going to go ahead and and step off on this one. I'm going to let you, let you rap about some of what you got going on. Tell me, tell me about your stuff.
Speaker 1:Yeah, all right, so let's see here. Yeah, so I mentioned I mentioned earlier, you know music, kind of part of a big part of my background, so you know, if you're interested in hearing you know any of the loud angry sounds. You know. So, first off, you know any of the loud angry sounds um you know. So first off, you know the. The main band is uh sister scarlet. Um you can find, uh, you know find us on uh sister scarlet musiccom. Otherwise um other music projects would be, uh, one of them, the mortal desire um d-e-z-i-R-E, that's more of the more angry metal. You know kind of kind of stuff on that stuff.
Speaker 2:As far as my stuff goes, if, if you have a movie that you want to bitch about, go ahead and give me a, send me a message. You can email me at contact at movie dash R-X dot com. You can also send me a text or leave me a voicemail at uh 402-519-5790. Uh, if, uh, if you don't want to be on the show but you still want to get your two cents put in, you can always just uh, you know, write me a couple of paragraphs about something that you want to bitch about, and maybe it's me and somebody else can talk about it and I can just read your, read your thoughts on air. Other than that, go watch some more movies.
Speaker 1:Hopefully they're not bad ones and we'll see you at the next appointment. See you, outro Music.