Adventures of Des and Cort

F*ckalanche

Episode 114

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0:00 | 32:15

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This week on Adventures of Des and Cort, we're introducing a brand new word to the English language... and if you've lived long enough, you've probably experienced one.

F*ckalanche.

You'll know it when you hear it. 😂

Our Hot Flashes kick things off with neighborhood nuisances.

Des is officially over the dogs that bark at absolutely everything. You know the ones. You're just trying to sit outside, embrace your grandma era, water your flowers, work on your latest hobby, and suddenly you're starring in a nonstop canine concert. If your dog is announcing every leaf that blows by, respectfully... we'd like to file a complaint. 🐶

Meanwhile, Cort is battling a far more modern crisis. There is ONE notification on her Facebook Messenger that refuses to disappear. She's clicked everything. She's searched everywhere. She's accepted defeat. Is this just elder millennial life now? Because if one little red notification is staring at us all day, our nervous systems cannot relax.

Des also recaps an outdoor concert in 105-degree heat where everyone was packed together so tightly it felt approximately 147 degrees. Then, just when she thought it couldn't get worse, a teenage girl casually spitting into the packed lawn seating area... dangerously close to her husbands hand. Between the heat, the crowds, and the complete lack of spatial awareness, she was one body temperature away from becoming the headline.

Then Cort asks an important driving question...

If you're in the fast lane on the interstate, surrounded by traffic, are you controlling your speed with the gas pedal... or are you repeatedly setting and resetting your cruise control?

Because whoever keeps using cruise control in heavy traffic has unknowingly been testing her emotional stability for years. She stayed quiet... but internally? There was a full-blown F*ckalanche.

As always, we wander into random side quests, overshare a little too much, laugh at ourselves, and somehow invent vocabulary along the way.

🎧 Listen now on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!

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