The Business Was the Barrier: Tamika Sharp on IVF, Burnout, and Rebuilding on Her Terms

She built a salon she was proud of.

She hired a team. She signed a lease. She showed up to treat clients the morning after egg retrievals.

Then she ended up in hospital with a heart rate she couldn't bring down.

And she was still thinking about work.

In this episode, I sit down with Tamika Sharp, founder of Skin and Beauty Collective in Perth, for one of the most raw and honest conversations this podcast has ever had. Tamika has been publicly documenting her IVF journey, and in this episode she goes even deeper: the miscarriages, the diagnoses nobody caught at first, the financial pressure of spending $40,000 on fertility treatment while running a salon and never paying herself a wage, and the hospitalization that finally made her stop.

This one is for every woman holding everything together on the outside while quietly falling apart behind the scenes.

→ Six rounds of IVF, three miscarriages, and the financial and emotional toll nobody prepares you for 
→ Running a team through egg retrievals and laparoscopic surgery 
→ The silent endometriosis and killer cell mutations her first clinic completely missed 
→ The doctor who told her she was too stressed for a baby to implant, and why that became her turning point 
→ Selling the fit-out, going back to solo trading, and finally taking home a wage 
→ The beauty industry's quiet truth: business owners paying their staff more than themselves 
→ Rosacea, post-pill acne, and the skin conditions that aren't being treated at the root cause 
→ What coming out of chronic burnout actually looks and feels like day to day

Tamika was 26 years old when we recorded this. She had already been through more than most people face in a decade. And she still showed up and gave everything.

This episode will stay with you.

Connect with Tamika Sharp: → Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/skinandbeautycollective_/ → Website: https://skinandbeautycollective.com.au

I want to empower women in the beauty industry to create an impact, build an empire, and leave their legacy!

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If you have any questions about the episode, or have a burning question you’d like me to answer on the show, or if you’d like to join our movement of ambitious beauty leaders, connect with me and the rest of our incredible community on Instagram:
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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

The doctor literally sat me down and was like, you are so stressed that no baby can implant in there. You need to reduce your stress. So that was really my breaking point. My husband was like, why are you doing this to yourself? Like we want a baby, we're spending so much money. What are we doing? Because there's so much financial stress and pressure. So yeah, I decided to sell the fit out, scale back, and yeah, really just focus on me. Burnout is a real thing. So I had to change it so that the passion came back, which it has. This decision has been probably one of the hardest but the best decisions I've ever made in my life. I've now created a life where I can bring a child into it rather than just spread myself thin.

SPEAKER_00 0:45

Hello and welcome back to another episode on the Beauty Industry Leaders podcast. I'm your host, Sammy Kennedy. Today I'm joined by a guest who has not only built an incredibly successful business, but also gone through a massive personal journey from building a team to wanting to raise and start her own family and the IVF challenges that have come with that. Tamika Sharp is joining me from Skin and Beauty Collective today. Tamika, welcome to the show.

SPEAKER_01 1:17

Thank you for having me.

SPEAKER_00 1:18

How are you feeling? Are you a bit nervous or are you excited?

SPEAKER_01 1:21

I'm very excited, maybe a little bit nervous, but very excited.

SPEAKER_00 1:25

When you first reached out to me, you mentioned that you'd watch Isla's episode. Yeah. As a real tear joker, like seeing how much she's been through and what she's done. What were your initial thoughts and reasoning why you wanted to reach out?

SPEAKER_01 1:41

Yeah, I guess like listening to Isla's podcast, I definitely was like, wow, she's so inspiring, like continuing to go, especially like through all of that. And I guess at the time with like my team and everything, I was going through very similar things. And I was like, oh, like, can I keep doing this? And then yeah, I just thought, well, maybe it would be good to share my story as it's kind of like the same but opposite in a way.

SPEAKER_00 2:08

100%. Yeah. Like so many women are trying to build the business, right? Yeah. And behind the scenes, we're all dealing with our own personal challenges. Whether that's finding out you're pregnant and going, oh my gosh, how am I going to keep building this business? Who's going to take over? Through to, okay, I'm trying to start a family. I'm really struggling with that. Or even financial stresses, parents that are sick, grandparents, grief. Like the amount of podcast guests we've had on, it's clear to see that owning a business is a hard challenge. So hard. And then within that, it's just like we have this whole other world of our personal lives. When you look at success, do you feel like your definition of success has truly changed based on your experience?

SPEAKER_01 3:02

Absolutely. If you had asked me even six months ago what success would be, I would say that it would be owning multiple sell-on locations, having 20, 30 team members, all of that. But just in the past, like even four months, my definition of success has changed so much. Like honestly, it would just be having that family, having a low-key life, being happy and healthy. That would be the definition of success.

SPEAKER_00 3:30

Can we just like backtrack for a moment? When you think about success as having all the big shiny things, like where did that actually come from?

SPEAKER_01 3:41

I've thought about this so much over like the past even just few weeks, and I honestly think it was probably like masking the fertility side of things. Like almost going into having the big successful business was like, well, I can achieve this. So maybe like I don't need the big like the family. Like I almost obviously I always wanted that, but I think it was maybe just trying to mask the fact of what I was going through, like wanting the big shiny things.

SPEAKER_00 4:11

See, I think that that's such a valid thing because when you feel like you're struggling in one area, it's so easy to overcompensate in another to just feel like, okay, well, if this is not working, then at least this looks great. Yeah. Yeah. Do you feel like social media has also added a huge amount of pressure, like seeing all the other businesses and the fit-outs and the teams? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:34

I think that also hugely put a definition of what success looked like. Because I was like, well, this salon has a team and this salon has this beautiful salon. And whilst that's absolutely amazing, I don't think it's ever what I wanted.

SPEAKER_00 4:49

It's crazy to think, hey, yeah. Like I think I'm going through something similar but in a different way. Where I used to think the goal was like a million-dollar business. And when you think about what comes with that, there's more team, there's more stress, there's more expenses. And sometimes in that scaling phase, it actually does take so much out of you, like financially, emotionally, physically. And so it's weird. Like in one business, we're like a multi-million dollar business, we've got a team. Like, that's great. But then in my business, I've got a team of five now, and just seeing how much more responsibility comes with that. Yeah. No one talks about the hidden cost of like the emotional toll, the burnout, and then on top of that, obviously what you've been going through. For people who don't know your story, can you please share where your IVF and fertility journey started and how all of this has actually been playing such a massive part in your life?

SPEAKER_01 5:55

Yeah, so our fertility journey started very early on. My husband and I had only been together a very short amount of time. We'd been together maybe six months and we fell unexpectedly pregnant. I was about 20 years old and I was so stressed, but we decided to keep the baby. And although that was super stressful, we were super excited for it and we just kind of went along with it. And then we ended up miscarriaging at nine weeks. And whilst we were absolutely devastated, like it's not it's never easy whether it was planned or wasn't planned. We kind of just went along with our lives and we're like, well, if it happens, it happens. Let's see kind of what happens. We're already planning it. And then it got to 2023, so this was about two and a half years later, and we still weren't pregnant. We'd been together two and a half, three years. So we were like, maybe we should look into fertility and IVF. And we found out that I actually had a really low egg count, and that is probably why I wasn't getting pregnant. So we did a round of IVF, it didn't work, and we thought, let's just go to Bali. Like, let's just get away. That was really a lot we thought the first time would work, and then we fell pregnant in Bali naturally. So I came back, did a test, found out I was pregnant, and we were absolutely over the moon. And then nine weeks come and I miss Carrie again, and we were absolutely heartbroken, but we had our wedding in a year's time from then. So this is in February 2024, and our wedding was in February 2025. And at this stage, we thought, oh, we've been pregnant twice naturally, let's just keep going and hopefully it will happen again. And so we decided to take a break from the IVF, and then nothing kind of happened. So our plan was to always get married, go on our honeymoon, and then just go straight into IVF. And this was last year where we did four rounds of IVF. On our second round of IVF last year, we did fall pregnant again, which ended up being a chemical miscarriage at about five weeks. Did two more rounds, still haven't gotten anything, and now I'm in my currently going through my sixth round of IVF right now.

SPEAKER_00 8:02

It's that's a lot to go through. Like I'm I'm getting goosebumps, and you know, I know it's not an easy thing to also speak about this. Yeah. But, you know, in those moments, are you telling anyone about this? Like, is it kind of something where you know you don't tell people you're pregnant until you know you're safe past the first trimester?

SPEAKER_01 8:23

Yeah, I feel like the no, like I just feel like I tell everyone because I get so excited. I do think my next time, well, you always think, oh, the second time, like, oh, it's not gonna happen. And then your third time, you're like, it's absolutely not gonna happen. Like, I will keep this baby. But I do think moving forward, I'll probably try and keep it with me and my husband, just me and my husband for a while, maybe our close family. But I was definitely telling clients, especially because they know so heavily I'm going through my IVF journey, because you have to take time off work, you have to have egg collections, which is surgery, and so I definitely am very open with my clients. Um, and I think I'll always be open about IVF, but telling them I'm pregnant, I'm not too sure because it then you have to tell every client, oh, I've actually miscarried or something and relive it all over again. So I've definitely been open about it, but yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:16

It's so scary to think that, you know, when you're going through this massive journey of trying to fall pregnant and then miscarrying and then having to face people. Like, do you ever feel the pressure of just not wanting to go into work, but then you're scared your clients are gonna leave you? Or did you just completely go, I gotta put myself first? Like, what was that like? 100%.

SPEAKER_01 9:42

So last year was so hard. As I say, we did four rounds of IVF and I had a miscarriage, and I had a team of three girls. So I had to show up, I had to be their boss, I had to go in, I was still doing clients, trying to make ends meet, making sure I had enough money to pay all my girls, even if I was having an egg retrieval, like I was still constantly thinking about work. But I do think my mindset has changed a lot this year. This year I'm definitely putting myself first, my health, and prioritizing our fertility journey. So whilst I obviously want to service every single client I possibly can, there's only so much I can do as I've taken a huge step back in my business now, in a way.

SPEAKER_00 10:26

I could imagine that's not sustainable to be running a team, seeing all the clients, and like you were saying before you came onto this podcast episode, you're like, if I just randomly start crying out, Renaissance, the bull moon.

SPEAKER_02 10:40

It's you know moons.

SPEAKER_00 10:41

Can you, for anyone who hasn't gone through IVF, share a bit more about like what you don't necessarily hear or know about when someone's going through that behind the scenes?

SPEAKER_01 10:54

It's it's horrible. So every morning I wake up, have to do, I'm I'm currently on three injections a day. So I have to inject myself three times in the morning, and then you're on all these different supplements and you're getting blood tests like every second to third day, and you're getting internal ultrasounds every second to third day, and that's before you even go in for your egg collection, which is surgery. So you have to be put under, they get your eggs out, and I honestly, whilst that all sounds so hard, the hardest part is after the egg collection because IVF is such a numbers game. You get the amount of eggs that you have, and then from there the eggs is how many are mature, and then it's how many fertilized, and then how many made it to day three, how many made it to day five, and we've honestly only ever ended up with one embryo day three, really. Um, we've never ended up with day five embryos, which is the most important stage and the ones that you can freeze or you can implant. So I feel like the hardest part is like having that little bit of hope and slowly like going down. So whilst you've got injections and everything, I think the hardest part is the numbers game, really.

SPEAKER_00 12:06

Yeah, well, obviously, like you're going through such an invasive process to the point where you're hanging on, just thinking, please, I don't want to do this again. Yeah. How many times have you had to go through that process of egg collections?

SPEAKER_01 12:20

This will be my sixth. So every time I've had to, we've never had embryos left to freeze. We've had three transfers on day three, but we've only ever had that one embryo on that day three to transfer on that day. And we know that if it doesn't stick, we have to do it all over again. So it's been, yeah, that I think that's the hardest part, like the emotional toll of never getting anywhere, kind of that's the hardest part. And you have to like grieve that before you move on.

SPEAKER_00 12:49

And what has grieving looked like for you?

SPEAKER_01 12:52

I don't think last year I like took time to grieve. I just focused straight back into my business and was like, how can I continue building this? What can I put into my business? And never took time. I honestly don't even think I could tell you what grieving looks like to me because I just focused on my business really, which is really bad that that was like my escape. So I think like probably taking time would definitely be better.

SPEAKER_00 13:18

And in terms of like the emotional investment into IVF, on top of that, you've got the financial investment. How much are people who are going through IVF looking at? Because I think a lot of us look at okay, cool, here's how much it costs to run a business. But when you're running the business and then also having to cover the cost of something like that plus a mortgage. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:44

It honestly depends what clinic you go to, but we changed clinics last year to a private clinic, and it's about 10 grand a round. And yeah, whether you get an egg or you don't, it's 10 grand. So we've spent probably last year about 40 grand and got nowhere. So it's a huge, huge financial investment. There are like bulk billing clinics, but it's still about three to four grand a round.

SPEAKER_00 14:10

And the difference between going to the clinic you first started at versus the second one, like what made you decide to change?

SPEAKER_01 14:18

Um, I guess after the second, third miscarriage, I was like, I want I want answers. Like something's wrong, something's not sticking, like there's a reason I'm miscarriaging. And my doctors were like, no, like you just need to get that egg, we just need to keep going. I'd done three rounds of IVF by then. So I was like, no, I want a second opinion. And we moved to our fertility specialist now, who is absolutely amazing in the space of this is our third round with them. So we did three rounds with our last clinic, three rounds with this clinic, like currently on our third. They found out that I have endometriosis, which is silent because I don't have any painful periods or anything like that. But they found I had silent endo. Um, and they've also found out I have like killer cell mutations and so many different things that I have to be on, like blood thinners, steroids, antibiotics, everything when I get pregnant. So there's a lot of things I have to do to keep the baby, which my first like fertility clinic was like, no, you you we don't need this, it's just finding that egg. So I would say the clinic that we're at now is definitely a lot more specialized and have really looked into what's going on. So I have a lot more hope there.

SPEAKER_00 15:33

It's so hard when it comes to you know investing in people's advice. And when you look at doctors and specialists, at the end of the day, it's just one person's opinion and experience. And obviously, we put so much faith into them because they've gone and done the years at uni, they've seen all the patients, but I think one of the hardest things is like going, hey, I don't think this is working, I've got to go find someone else and start that journey. Yeah, so that was quite hard to do. When you're going through all these IVF treatments and cycles and everything, what can we do as friends or partners or family to support you through that journey?

SPEAKER_01 16:17

Honestly, just being, I guess being there and supporting the person really, like it is such an emotional like time. I do think as well, people do forget about like the husbands or partners who are going through it as well, like definitely supporting them because whilst they may not be doing the injections, like it's still definitely an emotional roller coaster he's having or she is having just as much hope as you are, um, as well. So honestly, just being there, supporting and just yeah, really checking in.

SPEAKER_00 16:48

That's really all. When you're going through all of that, is it triggering or hard to see other people falling pregnant and starting families?

SPEAKER_01 16:57

Yeah, definitely. Like you sometimes think, like, well, why isn't that me? Or like as much as you're so happy for the person that's pregnant, your friend, family, client, like you're so happy, you're also like a little bit about you is like, well, why can't I just have that? So definitely very triggery.

SPEAKER_00 17:16

I don't ask these questions to, you know, make you upset. It's just genuinely like I think there's such a lack of conversation or understanding of what people with IVF are going through. I had one beautiful client in the podcast studio come in today, and she spent three years doing IVF and that whole emotional, physical, like financial toll, and then also trying to be, you know, a good friend, a good wife, a good business owner. Like her experience is like you just want to crawl into a ball and just the world keeps going on, you still got to make money, you still got to look after people. In terms of where you're headed now in this season of life, and obviously you mentioned next week you're going through another egg collection. Yeah. What are you doing within your weeks to prioritize your health?

SPEAKER_01 18:12

Yeah, so with my business, I've definitely scaled back the business as much as I can. I've decided to go back to being a sole trader, renting a room in a salon. So really kind of scaled back where possible. And I've cut my hours down. So I'm only working Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday, and every second Saturday. Where before I was working Monday to Saturday, 24-7 on the couch at night time. So definitely prioritising myself, but still giving back where I can to my clients, obviously, because I love that. But looking after myself, obviously eating healthy where possible. You obviously do not feel like it when you're pumped with hormones. Um, and just honestly doing what I want to do rather than focusing so much heavily on stress and the business.

SPEAKER_00 18:58

And that decision wasn't an easy one. I remember when we had a conversation before, that was the doctor telling you to do that.

SPEAKER_01 19:05

Yeah. So two weeks before my laparoscopy, I think I'm saying that right, surgery, where they found endo, he literally sat me down and was like, You are so stressed that no baby can implant in there. You need to reduce your stress. So that was really my breaking point. Um my husband was like, Why are you doing this to yourself? Like, we want a baby, we're spending so much money. Like, what are we doing? Because there's so much financial stress and stress and pressure. So, yeah, I decided to sell the fit out, scale back, and yeah, really just focus on me.

SPEAKER_00 19:42

Good on you. I think that's a really hard decision to make because obviously, when you have the pressure of social media, and then your clients and all your team have seen you build this thing, and then having to go, okay, well, maybe this is not what's best for me. Yeah. Maybe this isn't what it was all cut out to be online. Yeah. What are some of those things that you wish you understood earlier that would have made that transition feel? Like, did you feel like, oh my gosh, everything I built, like, what were the emotions going through your mind about?

SPEAKER_01 20:19

So I feel like I'm still going through the emotions really. Like, you still have moments where I'm like, have I made the right decision? What if people judge me? What if they think I've like failed in a way? Um, so you always have those thoughts. I feel like I'm still getting through them, but I think it's just getting through that and knowing like I can do this again, I can build up my team again. I've got my clients, and my clients that I have are beautiful and I love them dearly. But who's to say once I have my babies, I won't open like open another salon with a fit out and have the team that I want again? It's absolutely definitely still a dream, but I have my whole life to do that.

SPEAKER_00 21:02

That's so true.

SPEAKER_01 21:03

Yeah. How young are you now? I'm 26 on Sunday.

SPEAKER_00 21:06

Oh my gosh, so exciting.

SPEAKER_01 21:08

I still have my whole life to create a new team and build that business. Like, I still have that.

SPEAKER_00 21:14

Isn't it crazy though? You think about the goals and the achievements we think we need to have by a certain age. And at the end of the day, every single person is going through a different season of life. Yeah. And when you're building a family, like if you listen to Isla's episode, she's like, look, I wouldn't recommend doing the business and the family at the same time. But if you do, it is possible. Yeah. You know, I've interviewed so many women, and nine times out of ten, they've either had the kids early and really young and just had to do it for them, or they've waited until their kids have grown up a bit more and then they've got that time to put back into the business. But I think coming back to obviously what we think is successful. From social media versus, you know, what does it look like when you really want to start a family? Where do you see yourself spending your time? Like, do you want to be dealing with all the payroll things and making sure the post goes out on time, or do you want to watch your kids grow up? Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 22:17

And that was a huge thing as well that I've been thinking about because I've now set up my business with renting a room and everything. I obviously just have to give a little bit of notice. I'm not stuck into a three to five year lease on a commercial property. I can give that time and say, look, I'm going on maternity leave. I might come back and obviously I would let my clients know where I'm going and whatnot, but I have now that possibility of just taking a step back and watching my kids grow up and either going back into work if I want to, or if I don't want to, I can just spend that time with my kids because it's such a short amount of time that they are children for. Um, where last year I genuinely do not believe I could have bought a baby into that hectic, chaotic life. I was on the couch worrying about payroll or the girls being booked and staff issues, and then bringing a baby into that. How are you supposed to stretch your self so thin into both and put everything into both situations? It's just honestly seems impossible. I know it's not, but yeah, it definitely would be hard.

SPEAKER_00 23:23

What was the moment when you realized that you wanted to start a family? Because obviously you mentioned before that at 20 it was unexpected, but then like what shifted within you?

SPEAKER_01 23:35

I think it was like a gradual process. I think when we lost our first baby, it definitely wasn't a conversation that we were closed off to considering we had mentally prepared that that was going to be our lives. But I think it was a gradual process over the next two years where we were like, oh, okay, well, it's just not happening. And then I think probably in like 2023 when we went and did our first round, that was when we were like, okay, like something's wrong and we really want this. We've been trying for two and a bit years now. So I think it was more gradual. There was never a time I woke up and was like, I I want a family right now. It was just kind of the process and yeah, what we wanted.

SPEAKER_00 24:17

It was crazy. I feel like I've almost like I fell pregnant at 18 and I didn't know what to do. I didn't tell anyone in my family because they were all Christian. I thought they were gonna like completely banish me. Yeah. And um that process, like it broke me. And I think part of like similar to you, I just threw myself into business and I had this whole thing flash before my eyes of oh my gosh, there's so much to do. And now I'm scared to want to start a family because I'm scared of like, okay, do I need to, you know, get ahead and build the things while you don't have any, you know, ties. And I'm like almost have commitment issues with, you know, the thought of getting a mortgage or the thought of starting a family, but then at the same time, part of me is like, have we gaslit ourselves into needing so much external success and validation from everyone else that we actually forgot why we were put on this earth? And that is to find a partner and to start a family and to enjoy that level of fulfillment.

SPEAKER_01 25:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:21

One thing that came up in a podcast that really hit me was young people, they feel this pressure with business that, okay, I'll build this business off and it'll be successful. And then they get to the success and they're like, they're still not happy, they're not fulfilled. And the idea is that if you actually start a family and you do have those kids there, they can give you that love and that fulfillment back. Your business, you're just paying money to the tax man, and then everyone's your friend when they want money from you, you know?

SPEAKER_01 25:54

Yeah, free treatments 100%.

SPEAKER_00 25:56

Yeah. Women are just taught to push through everything. You know, they're expected to show up on the days where they know they physically probably shouldn't be, but then it's like, okay, kids need you, your husband needs you, maybe it's that your clients need you, and we have so much fear, fear that, you know, people are gonna kick up a fuss. And it's crazy. Like, have you seen some of those posts where people might have said no to a client or had to cancel a day, and maybe that's because they've had something like a miscarriage. Yeah. And then all the clients just like kick up such a fuss. It's like you never know what that person's going through. 100%.

SPEAKER_01 26:36

Yeah. I feel like I've definitely had to like learn that it's okay to take time off. And I think being really open to my clients has definitely helped and telling them why I'm taking time off. Um, that's definitely helped, I guess, them understand as well. But if I didn't tell them, I feel like it's just learning that it's okay to need to look after yourself and take time off. Because even if I genuinely am just sick and not going through IVF, I still feel guilty, even if I genuinely am just sick. But we need to learn as women that it's okay to just look after ourselves really and be resilient.

SPEAKER_00 27:16

That's such a good point you make there because so many of us actually don't look after ourselves. And the way that I see this play out with not only myself, but also clients that I've worked with and other business owners in different industries, when you're so busy, you don't eat. No, you don't have time. No. I wonder how many people in the beauty industry actually have an eating disorder, whether it's chosen or because you're just so busy. Yeah. And then it's also like the people pleasing, you know, constantly feeling like, okay, even though I don't usually work these hours, like I'll find time to fit you in. You know, there's so many things that we just keep self-sacrificing for. And it's like, at what stage does that become like no? Yeah. I know you've had your own experience with burnout. How did that show up in your life?

SPEAKER_01 28:08

I feel like I honestly just feel like oh like it just you don't eat properly and you're just running on fumes, and then genuinely just start to hate what you're doing, literally. Like you just don't want to go to work. You even though I absolutely love the beauty industry, I love it. I love my clients, what I do. It's honestly my passion. But when you do have burnout, you're working six days a week, you're working those long hours, you're not eating, you're not fueling your body, you just it becomes a chore and you don't want to do it. And that is definitely when I know that I'm burnt out because I know I love what I do.

SPEAKER_00 28:47

When we were planning for this podcast, you actually mentioned you were hospitalized from burnout. How the heck did it get to that stage? Like, what were you experiencing? How did it happen?

SPEAKER_01 28:58

Yeah, so it was only about two months ago, and it was in the time where I was like, Do I, do I not sell my business? It was very up and go. Um, and I had surgery, had my endometriosis removed, and then I went back to work so quick because I was like, Well, I'm the only one treating my clients now, I need to be there, and otherwise I'm taking two weeks off, and then you know, they've missed out on their appointments and I can't fit them in. And I went back to work, and then the next morning I woke up and I had tachycardia, I believe it's called, and my heart rate was between 140 and 170 for about six to seven hours, and it just would not go down. I ended up in hospital. I had to have an ECG, I had to have a CT scan, I obviously had just had surgery, so they were checking for blood clots, my blood clot markers were through the roof. So yeah, I feel like if I had just looked after myself, that maybe wouldn't have happened, but it was in induced by stress from everything that had been happening. With do I kind of move on from the business and going back into doing all my clients? And yeah, so burnout is a real thing.

SPEAKER_00 30:10

I feel like every time someone's like, Oh yeah, I want to talk about burnout on the podcast, I have just been so chronically burnt out that I'm like, I just don't even want to talk about it. Yeah. Like, you know, and I totally hear you about you may love the thing, but when you're burnt out, you don't want anything. It's like being in a toxic relationship where you've emotionally checked out and you're like, I'm so done with you. But you know, if you made that reactive decision in that moment, it wouldn't actually be what you would want if you had a sound mind or you were in your normal health state.

SPEAKER_01 30:46

Yeah. Well, that's the thing with going into do we want to sell the fit out? Do we not? At the time that we were wanting to sell the fit out, my team had actually just left. So I was like, Am I making this decision because I'm really emotional? Am I making it because it's the right thing to do? So I had to take a step back, and it wasn't until the doctor was like, No, like you're chronically stressed, like you have to reduce something. I was like, okay, this was my sign. And then obviously had surgery, ended up in hospital, and just everything was like, no, like if you want a baby, you like you have to remove the stress, which was work, it was my business that was causing me so much stress. So I had to rechange it so that the passion came back, which it has. I adore what I do again, and I haven't for probably about a year and a half since I opened the salon. Um, I adore it. I love doing my clients again.

SPEAKER_00 31:43

So that's so scary to think about. I'm like, you've just invested all this money and all this time, and it's like the dream thing that you wanted, and then you're like, I don't want this anymore.

SPEAKER_01 31:52

Don't go away.

SPEAKER_00 31:52

I know.

SPEAKER_01 31:53

And I still had like three years on my lease. Like, I you can't just run. You have to plan how that's going to happen. You have to remove the fit out somehow. And yeah, so you you can't just run, or if it gets hard, you can't just quit a job. Like that's what it's like, and you can't. You have to figure out ways to leave that situation.

SPEAKER_00 32:13

I know that you're now in a really great position because you sold the fit out to someone that you knew. Yes. And you still get to rent the room there.

SPEAKER_01 32:21

Yeah, I still get to be in my like not my salon, but the salon, and still have the same room I had. It's actually my nail lady, and she is amazing, and it's just such a fun vibe. And there's other girls renting a room there as well. Two of them were renting when I was had the salon myself. So I feel like the vibe is just so fun and it's bringing in new positive energy into the salon as well. So I feel like my situation I was very thankful for, but then I also am like, well, this was meant to happen. It wasn't a hard process, it was kind of just fell in that way.

SPEAKER_00 32:55

For the woman who is listening to this right now and thinking, oh my gosh, like maybe they're in a really tough situation where they know they need to make a decision, but they're really scared. What words of wisdom do you have for them?

SPEAKER_01 33:12

Just stop listening to outside noise. I feel like that's the biggest advice. I almost didn't give up the sell-on because I was so scared of what people would think. And I feel like that is the last thing that I needed to worry about. That I needed to worry about my health and family. So absolutely push other people's opinions to the side. Everyone's gonna have something to say, and you just have to focus on why you're doing what you're doing and know that you're making the right decision.

SPEAKER_00 33:41

And now that you've made those decisions, was it even as bad as you played it out to be in your mind?

SPEAKER_01 33:47

No, it it's been the best decision, honestly. And as I said before, like I definitely still get days where I'm like, oh, like I love the salon and I love the space that I did create. But knowing that uh the my nail lady has taken over the space and she's putting just as much love and passion into it, like it was not as scary or anything. It's been such a good transition.

SPEAKER_00 34:12

Isn't it so funny how we were like it's so easy to like spiral down and like what if my team hate me and my clients never come back and like this means I'm a failure? And it's like rarely do we ever spiral up. Yeah. Like, what if this means that I can fall pregnant? What if this means that I get to love what I do again? What if this means that I have way less stress and way more profit, you know? Yeah. Oh my god, the profit.

SPEAKER_01 34:37

Talk to me about that. Well, for a year and a half, you've got this salon, you've got this team, you're paying them a wage. My husband was supporting me for a year and a half because I took, I refinanced our house to pay for this fit out. I then had a team of two, and then well, I had a team of me and one other um girl, and then that obviously grew, so I bought on someone else, and then bought on someone else. But I was never taking a wage from it because I was always bringing on someone else, and because I was so heavily focused on IVF, like I was struggling to work as much as I possibly could. So yeah, my husband supported me for the year and a half that I had the cell on, and that alone is hard on a marriage itself. Obviously, they want to support you and they know it's your dream, but you want to financially contribute or you want to be at home with the kids or something. I definitely am not someone who just wants to sit there and cook and clean, which is so fine, but I want to be making money or want to be thriving or looking after the kids for sure. So that was hard not be like financially contributing and having him just purely help the situation really and financially provide. But now that I have gone back to myself, my sole trader, I'm doing all the clients and I have cut down my hours, but I I we haven't lost any clients, so I'm just treating all the clients in the hours that I'm working and I'm finally taking home a wage. It's wild.

SPEAKER_00 36:09

Yeah, like I don't think enough other business owners are actually aware of how many businesses are just not paying themselves a wage. Like I've known a fair few in the beauty industry to be paying their apprentices more than they pay themselves, which is a really wild concept if you think about it, because everyone gets into business for the financial reward and some level of flexibility or freedom. And whether that's you just want to have a bit of an income and you're working from home, or whether that's use this business as a vehicle for wealth generation. But then it's like I think so many people think, oh yeah, like one day I'll pay myself when I'm making enough money, and then it's like years pass by, it's five, it's 10 years, still no super. Yeah, I haven't paid myself super. Barely taking a wage, you know, or it's just like that good old, oh yeah, I'll just pay myself $500. Yeah. And I had to have a conversation with a younger girl that messaged me the other day. She's 23, she's been doing, I think it was eyelash extensions, and she said to me, you know, I don't know if I can actually make money in this industry. And I looked at her price and I said, not with that, like, not with those prices. Yeah. You know, and the difference is like people who work for themselves, or they start off there, they go, Oh my gosh, I'm making so much money, but that's because they're not actually factoring in paying themselves. And so you go, okay, cool, here's like $120, for example, take away maybe your $30 cost a goods sold and then GST. You're still, okay, I'm making this much profit. But no, not if you pay yourself a wage at the super. And then on top of that, where I find a lot of business owners fall short and don't accurately project their wages is the leave entitlements. That's another 17.5% on top of wages, on top of super, on top of penalties. Then if you're paying over like a million dollars in WA, you've got to pay payroll tax. And then everyone forgets about how the bonuses and the incentives and the commissions and any money that they make, you have to pay super on top of that. Like so many people aren't aware of the bigger picture. Yeah. And they put so much into their team, into their clients, and they want the best for everyone else. But then at the end of the day, it's like, what's left for me? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 38:39

Honestly, there wasn't really much left for me left over last year. And I had worked with a business coach and worked on my pricing and made sure it was all profitable. And whilst it was, I just think I probably had too many staff members for where I was at. But again, my definition of success was having all those staff members.

SPEAKER_00 38:58

So and you could have the staff members and you could have priced it for profitability. But if they're not booked out all the time based on the numbers, that's not profitable.

SPEAKER_01 39:07

And they yeah, they weren't because they had too many staff members. But I on social media or what you hear, it's like you need that, those staff. And I probably grew too quickly. I'm my business was is definitely successful, and I all of that, but yeah, I definitely was like, well, we need more staff because I can afford that now. But then there was nothing for me left over. So I do think if we had done it a little bit slower, maybe yeah, it would have been, but it's still the stress with staff and the stress with taxes and just everything. I yeah, I'd definitely have made the right decision.

SPEAKER_00 39:42

100% you have. And I think also with your own personal growth, you're going to have different values. You're going to actually maybe shift your beliefs about what success looks like. If anyone were to have gone through what you've gone through, deep down, there's probably this element of feeling like they're a failure. But through your experience and the way that you know your clients have taken it on, you've seen how it's played out in your life. Do you think women are allowed to evolve and choose something different without the fear of failure? Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 40:15

Like, don't get me wrong, I still have the thoughts of like, oh my God, have I failed? But no, like I think women put so much pressure on themselves that, like we were saying before, like to be there for clients and never saying no and everything. But you're allowed to change your values, especially where you're at in your life. I was 23 when I started my business. I'm now 26. And yes, it's only three years, but a lot has changed in that time. I've gotten married, done so many rounds, 5EF, like my my life has changed. So I think women can absolutely change their decision and values and focus on what they want right now. Like I said, I might change my mind in 10 years' time and reopen a salon. Or you might go, you know what, this cell might be for me. No, I might as well. But I always have that option because I've I worked so hard to get my clients and uh the brand that I have in my personal branding as well. So yeah, I feel as if I can always go back to it, but absolutely you can change.

SPEAKER_00 41:19

That's really powerful advice. I think it's really important that we remember just because we might put things on pause or we might pivot, it doesn't mean we're actually starting from the ground because you learn skills through running a business, you gain more knowledge and wisdom. And with all the challenges and lessons that you've learned, you actually get to build things faster. Yeah. And it would be so interesting, like, you know, timeline later down, maybe 10 years from now, if you did do it again, it probably wouldn't take as long. Yeah. Because you just have all these skills and resources. And I think that's also something really nice to remember is if something comes up, like if there's a family member that's sick, or you're grieving because you've had these miscarriages, or maybe it's that, you know, you've got to put your kids first because something's happening in their lives, or it might just simply be that, hey, you're so burnt out that if you continue doing this, you can't help anyone. Yeah. You know, but it's like you got to put yourself first, you've got to make sure that you're protecting your health, your energy, and you're actually building a business that aligns with the lifestyle that you want to build. I think when I first had someone say to me, build the business around the life you want, not the type of business where your whole life revolves around that. I was like, oh, maybe these like beauty businesses need to pivot. And maybe, and I can understand why so many people are stepping into education or wanting to step in a different kind of role than what they've always known. Because so many of us are burnt out. Yeah. Like I'm burnt out from the burnout of the clients in the beauty industry, which sounds so horrible. Yeah. But it's it's true. Every second post I'm seeing, like, is anyone else like completely just over this? And I think more now more than ever, we're taking on so many other people's problems and things, and it's important that we actually do the things, go to bed, wake up at a consistent time, move our bodies. You don't have to go do an hour of weightlifting or have to go pay for expensive pilates. Like literally just go for a walk. Yeah. You know, stand out in the sun. It's just like all these stupid things we avoid because we throw ourselves into business and we throw ourselves into clients. And you know what? There's this quote, I'm not sure if you've heard of it or not, but it says most people will sacrifice their health to accumulate wealth, and then once they've achieved wealth, they actually. Have to buy back their health. Yeah. And if you think about that, that's like you sacrifice everything just to get this thing, and then it's like, oh, maybe that's not what I thought it would be. 100%.

SPEAKER_01 44:12

I've been doing that. So yeah, no. I definitely think this year I'm focusing on health. Like I'm honestly buying back my health now. Um, I'm focusing on that because yeah, the process of IVF is hard. I've put on 20 kilos. I haven't been moving my body. You don't eat when you do clients. Or yeah, I've definitely been focusing on that health side of things because we just don't do it in the industry.

SPEAKER_00 44:37

So, what does your day-to-day life look like now that you're moving away from having such a big workload, you're trying to reduce your stress levels and obviously put your health first?

SPEAKER_01 44:48

Yeah, so reducing those hours in the salon. So working three days one week, four days the next. I know it's always building something else, but definitely looking into education. So sharing my knowledge with other therapists, I feel like there's not a lot of skin knowledge out there. Uh, there's obviously you do your qualification and then you just go on to different clinics. So I'd love to produce something where my knowledge in skin can be shared to other women and therapists. So definitely looking at something behind the scenes for that, but focusing, limiting my hours in salon and focusing on my family and health. That's really what the foreseeable future looks like.

SPEAKER_00 45:32

Out of curiosity, how did you get your skin qualifications? Because obviously there's some big talk around changes to what's happening.

SPEAKER_01 45:39

Yeah. So I did a traineeship when I was 16 and completed my cert four, and then I was working in a the salon that I did my traineeship in, went and did my diploma in beauty therapy, and then I got a job in one of Perth's leading skin clinics, and I will forever be grateful for the knowledge that I learned there. I learned so much knowledge and then went on to kind of like build myself up in the beauty industry by going to an assistant manager's job, to a manager's position, and over each place that I worked at, I gained so much knowledge. But I do feel like the knowledge that you learn in your CERT for and diploma is very, very limited. But I was very lucky to work alongside thermal therapists and registered nurses that I just learned so much throughout my time in the industry before opening my own clinic.

SPEAKER_00 46:33

It's crazy the amount of knowledge there is now with skin. I feel like there's only so much you can teach in a short period of time. And obviously, you'll have different unique cases that come up and you'll have to troubleshoot things. As a skin therapist, like, what's one thing that you think isn't taught enough?

SPEAKER_01 46:54

Definitely rosacea, the problematic cause of rosacea and how Demodex mites are overstimulated in the skin. A lot of people just put rosacea down to redness or all of that. I the therapist that I have bought in previously, and just even seeing in the industry, like a lot of people don't understand the cause of that. And I might have a differing opinion to someone else who's qualified, but I guess that's my professional opinion. And as well, just post pill acne. It's ridiculous the acne you get after being on the pill. Again, I might have a different opinion to someone else, but I've learned along the way on how post pill acne can affect your skin or just hormones in general can affect your skin.

SPEAKER_00 47:39

I went through this. So I was on the pill for a bit and then I came off when I was 18. And I, the way I described it, I was like, I have all these little bumps. And no matter what I did, I just couldn't get rid of them. And it wasn't until it was actually when I was in Miss Universe, I was like, oh my gosh, there's no way I can be in front of everyone with this skin. And so I reactively went to the doctor and I said, What do I need to do? And they referred me to a dermatologist. Dermatologist. Yeah. And I didn't even know that the wait list was so long. It was over 12 months. And that was across five different ones that I had had as options.

unknown 48:20

Right.

SPEAKER_00 48:20

I was never educated that you could actually go to a skin therapist. Like doctors never would say, hey, go to a skin therapist. And it wasn't until I actually I did go and get some skin treatments done, and they weren't quite what they needed to be. And I think I was just getting a couple, you know, masks and some LED, and it just didn't go anywhere. But then I started getting pills and it fixed everything. Yeah. But I feel like that's a huge thing. People aren't educated who aren't in the industry that if you've got these issues, you don't have to go on all these crazy medications. Like obviously, you can speak, I can speak for the amount of hormonal changes that come with taking all these medications. There's one solution and another five issues that come from it. And then it's like, okay, well, for one of those issues, you can now take this medication. It's like, why am I taking 10 things? I don't want to be taking 10 things.

SPEAKER_01 49:15

Yeah. You just go to the dermatologist and they're like, oh, here's Roacotane or here's Epiduo or here's doxycycline. And then that causes other issues internally. So I do truly do believe that a majority of our skin conditions come from internal factors. 100%. And yeah, a lot of people aren't taught that. They're teeth, they're looking at the surface, how you may have experienced just a few kind of facials with masks. But a lot of my clients that come in, I'm like, have you had your hormones tested? Are your periods regular? Are you what are you eating? So I definitely go through all of that and we get to the core problem and then sort that out. But a lot of people aren't treating that way. So I feel as if yeah, what's to come is going to be very educational for therapists out there who may feel like they want to learn how to treat internally as well. I'm no naturopath or anything, but definitely referring and understanding the hormones and everything.

SPEAKER_00 50:12

Well, I mean, it makes such a big difference to you going through it and understanding it, how it impacts you so much that clients would obviously trust, you know? Exactly, yeah. And there's always these acne specialists and there's anti-aging or pro-aging, but I feel like rosacea is one that you actually don't hear as many people talking about. And I guess that's another thing. Like it's the confidence of how many times have you had to treat this and have you been able to get a successful outcome? And then also not just have it last for like one or two treatments ongoing. Do you know what's funny? I actually saw your story about the mites. Yes. And I was like, ooh, yuck. Yeah. And it kind of freaked me out. And then I saw another post and it just started coming all up in my algorithm. I'm like, I should probably wash my pillowcase. You know, I definitely need to wash my face like twice after wearing makeup. And then are you not? Well, I do, but I haven't washed my makeup brushes in two years. Oh wow, okay. Let's get new makeup brushes. Oh my god. Like, do you have any toxic things that you've done that you just don't realise?

SPEAKER_01 51:29

Yeah, look, as a skin therapist, like I definitely do my skincare, but I I absolutely have gone a day or something without doing it. Or actually, I I'm not so much now, but I was very bad at wearing sunscreen. Like I wouldn't wear sunscreen, which is like the normal. You guys are wearing sunscreen. No, I'm just kidding. Um no, but yeah, definitely only until a couple years ago. Like I was not wearing sunscreen every day. Which are you wearing sunscreen every day? No. Oh.

SPEAKER_00 51:58

I didn't have money for that. No, I'm just kidding. Have you seen this podcast studio? No, I do. I have the O Cosmetics one. Yes, amazing. And I love that. I have been through a few different ones. I actually find finding a nice sunscreen is hard.

SPEAKER_01 52:12

Yeah, O Cosmetics is the best. We stock it in the salon. It's honestly amazing. We just purely only use O Cosmetics.

SPEAKER_00 52:21

What is your favourite skincare product?

SPEAKER_01 52:23

O Cosmetics.

SPEAKER_00 52:24

But like which which one?

SPEAKER_01 52:26

I would say um the EGF booster. What does it do? It has epidermal growth factors in it, so it's really good for the healing of the skin. So we treat a lot of acne clients in the salon, and whilst there's amazing products in O Cosmetics like your potent clearing serum to help with breakouts and everything, I would say 99% of my clients are on the EGF booster for healing, hydration, and yeah, essentially just revitalizing that skin because it's got those epidermal growth factors in it. So healing the skin.

SPEAKER_00 52:57

Okay, I think my problem is that I don't have hydrated skin and I try hard to drink so much water and I need to pee every five minutes, and I put on the vitamin B serum. But is there something that I'm missing?

SPEAKER_01 53:13

Well, only 13% of the water you drink goes to the skin. It's so little. But in taking things like your essential fatty acids is going to internally hydrate your skin. So, like your EFAs in O cosmetics, are you taking them? Not consistent. Yeah. The EFA supplements, they'll internally hydrate your skin cells. So definitely in taking supplements or like a fish oil or anything, of course, I recommend my escentral fatty acids from O Cosmetics, is that's what we have in the salon. But yeah, even fish oils, there is the amount that has to be in it for it to do something to the skin, which is why it's amazing that O Cosmetics just has theirs. Um, but yeah, they will internally hydrate the skin, and then yeah, your B3 is amazing too, but adding in like your hyaluronic acid if you're feeling really dehydrated as well, if you're feeling dry, adding in like your oil or something like that. But internal is so important.

SPEAKER_00 54:05

See, I had some incredible products, like I had the Prologic ones as well. And Sam is my therapist from Lameway. She's Sam, thank you. You've done an amazing job. I just like testing people on the podcast, you know? Um, but like I was putting on oil and I was like, my skin needs the oil, but then perioral dermatitis would get bad. And you know what? Talking about burnout, that was my stress. Perioral dermatitis all over my face, and then a cortisol. Yeah, and not eating. I definitely don't eat consistently, and that's been something that I know has obviously impacted my performance at the gym and you know, getting tired and brain fog, and then just like, okay, well, I gotta get to this meeting, I'll just have another coffee, and it's just like my poor gut health, you know, there's been so many things, but I think my realization speaking to you is that putting my health first, I really need to eat properly. And you know, to any other person who is also listening to this and probably has a borderline eating disorder, whether it's chosen or whether it's because you're so busy, like we need to look after ourselves because I just don't think that you know it's it's good to get to the point where it's like, okay, I physically cannot work anymore.

SPEAKER_01 55:20

Yeah, and you end up in hospital, you're shows in your skin, or yeah, a hundred percent.

SPEAKER_00 55:25

Like I remember I've experienced burnout my whole life. I think I've been chronically burnt out, and it's just one of those things, like in year 11 and 12, I was doing ATAR, but then throughout that we had rodeos, and then I think people don't realize like hosting a rodeo, it's six months of planning, and then you host this event, and then it's like a month of recovering after. And then when I moved to Perth, I was studying at uni and I would literally like do a three-hour lecture, go see clients after, come back to the lecture, and I would just constantly be doing like 60 hours in the salon plus another 20 hours of lectures, and I was just pushing through because I was like, I'm making money, you know, and I'll just do it. And then if anyone knows my journey about the scoliosis, I didn't realize like I couldn't, I couldn't touch my toes when I was at the gym. And then I started getting all this shooting nerve pain down my arms, my legs, my neck, my spine, and I couldn't work anymore. And then I remember going and seeing the specialist and then saying, you know, if you continue on, you're gonna need spinal fusion surgery. And I was just like, do you know what's funny? I actually haven't been surfing in like five years, but the one thing that the specialist said is if you get this surgery, you will never be able to surf again. And I was like, Oh nah. Nah, not doing clients, but if you can't surf, I was just like, okay, like I want the option there, yeah, but I used to surf all the time when I was a kid, and that's what my dad and I would do, and you know, we had so much fun, and I just remember thinking, you know, this is not worth the pain, it's not worth it, and like walking away from beauty and then going into coaching, and like lately I've been having a massive transition of being like, do I want to do coaching long term or do I like really want to put everything into podcasting because I love podcasting and I want to help other people build up in that, and it's just like you know, we we have so much choice and there's always risks, and then it's like everything you're saying, I feel like I'm going through it in a different season because it's like that fear of failure, and then the podcast studio is that the type of business model that if I set up correctly, I can start a family, and it's not me selling my one-on-one time and having to like burn everything to the ground if you come back and then you stop and you start. So, you know, it's weird. I feel like everything you're saying about the pressure, you know, so much pressure. Before you came in this week, I have three calendars and I have so much going on, and I just it's weird. Like you feel like you're just falling apart, but then at the same time, everything is looking successful on the outside.

SPEAKER_01 58:10

Yeah, yeah. And I will say when you come out of chronic burnout, so I was in chronic burnout, maybe I don't feel it right now because of the hormones and everything, but when I made an adrenaline rush on the podcast. Yeah, when I made the decision to kind of sell the fit out and I reduced my hours and I had so much more energy. I had energy, I was eating properly, even just little things at home, doing the dishes and doing the washing. Like it wasn't a huge thing to do. I was just doing it. And my husband was like, Are you are you okay? Like, why are you doing the dishes? And I'm like, 'Cause I just have energy to do these things. But I had been in burnout for so long that I I it was a chore. Like obviously it is a chore, but it was just so hard to do basic things. I had no energy, I was so tired. And whilst I don't feel that right this second with all the IVF hormones, I before I started the IVF hormone, before I started the hormones, I was feeling great because I just did not have that chronic stress, adrenaline, and yeah, fight or flight response constantly.

SPEAKER_00 59:21

Or the burnout is so real when you were saying doing the dishes, doing the washing. It's funny. Like on a Sunday, I'll put on YouTube and I'll watch a couple of my favourite podcasts or vloggers, and I will hang up the washing. And it's just like all week, I will hate doing that. I am so like, this is the last thing I've got that typical ADHD dumping ground that I call, you know. And then I've found when I don't have social media and I throw my phone away and I'm just doing some things that are basic household tasks for myself again, I actually feel good. Yeah. And I'm like, wow, okay. You know, so often we outsource all these things, or we're so burnt out that we just expect our partner to pick up the slack. And it's just like, it's not that, you know, you shouldn't have to do it. It's like when you do do those things for yourself, it is a level of okay, I'm looking after myself, and that kind of does make you feel better.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:20

Yeah, 100%. It puts so much pressure on your husband or partner, yeah. Like in a marriage or just relationship. It's you're so burnt out. You're not, you're not stepping up your weight, but then you they're financially supporting you too, and you're like, but I'm dealing with staff, I'm dealing with IVF, I'm doing this, and they are too. But yeah, it's burnout, it's just I yeah, it's so hard.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:44

What are some things that have helped you come out of burnout? So obviously you're doing things for yourself again.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:49

Yeah, so obviously doing things for myself, eating healthier, and just ignoring the outside noise and negative energy and not worrying about what people will say and reducing social media and not comparing. Yeah, like obviously listening to Isla's podcast, I was like, oh my god, wow, like you don't know that's going on behind the scenes, you just see this amazing successful business and like a role model, really, and then you listen to someone's podcast and you're like, oh my god, like they're going through things as well. Um, so yeah, not comparing in a negative way, obviously looking at other people's stories and being like, wow, that's inspiring, but not being like, I I need that team, I need that space, I need this. So definitely throwing social media away.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:41

Yeah, I find the social media first thing in the morning is just so draining. And then you look at news and then the budget updates, and then you're hearing about someone else's made this million dollar month, and you're just like, why am I so far behind? But it's crazy. Like one time I decided to delete the app just to give myself a break, and how we just subconsciously will keep going on to press it and it's not there.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:11

You're going, I've never done that, but my husband actually did that. I cannot remember why he did it. I think he didn't watch some sporting game or something. So we deleted the app and he was like, I just keep clicking where that appears. He's like an addict. Yeah, and he owns his own landscaping business, so he'd be like, every 10 minutes, he'd like he was like, I was just pulling out my phone and clicking on the app that wasn't there for no reason. Like he was doing things at work. He's like, I'm like addicted to it. So I think it's just so yeah, drilled in our brain to look at social media and what other people are doing and what other people have rather than focusing on ourselves.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:47

So a couple years ago, I went to Japan with Nick for I think it was 10 days. And within that period of time, I actually deleted my personal Instagram. Yeah. And they were some of the best months of my life. I was so much happier, I was so much more present. Yeah. And I just really appreciated and had so much more gratitude for those little moments. Whereas I think now I don't allow myself to be bored. Yes. And it's like every moment in the car, you just pull up your phone and it's just like, have a conversation to the person next to you. Yeah. Or it's, hey, we're gonna go do this thing, and then okay, I'll pull up my phone and I'll look into it. It's just like we are so distracted now that we actually are missing out on some of the best parts of life. And one of the things that I loved about Nick when we first met is he would never pull his phone out, and neither did I. But then obviously with business, I do have good boundaries. After 6 p.m., I won't reply to any of my clients, and I've had to do that, and they know not to message me at crazy times anyway, so I don't have that problem anymore. But I'm still addicted to pull out and look at reels, or you know, oh, I'll just try to put this carousel together just to kill time. And it's like now coming back to the whole how do you overcome burnout? You know, I've got one and a half hours on my phone, and then it does a little screen lock thing. Yeah. And that's been really good because it makes me more intentional with the time that I'm spending on social media. That's good. And then also on top of that, making sure it's not the first thing I look at in the morning, I listen to a 10-minute YouTube gratitude meditation. And, you know, I used to be a psychopath. I wake up at 4:30 to the like doo doo doo, don't alarm, and I'd be like, off to the gym. And I was like, why I'm in such a rush? Like for what? I literally started a business so that I could have time freedom, and then I put myself into this really stressful position just because what? I'm addicted to it. Yeah. And then now I wake up a lot more peacefully. I've got this gratitude meditation, and then I go to the gym, and it's just like, why are we always rushing and why are we trying to do all of this crazy stuff that actually puts us into a state of fight or flight? Yeah. And I think that's another thing about being a business owner or having ADHD, maybe, is that you feel more addicted and you love the high of the stress rather than the safety and security of like not being in that state of fight or flight. And then when you try to slow down, you know, that's when you get sick. That's when your whole body starts to feel it because it's like you've been in overdrive just surviving. Yeah. And now it's like, okay, you gotta chill.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:29

But then you kind of get over that, and yeah, if you reduce that fight or flight, it is absolutely amazing.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:34

Like I had maybe two weeks ago, like three days where I had no clients, I didn't do any podcasting, and it was almost that feeling of I should be doing something, and that I feel guilty that I'm not. But then I also realized you know what? I actually need to recover, otherwise, I'm not gonna be able to help anyone. 100%.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:55

Do you know what I've been doing at night now? What? So switch off social media. Next one. I've been watching all these old rom coms with like Matthew McConaughey and Kate Hudson, like how to lose a guy in 10 Days and Girlf Goes to the Girlfriend's Pass. And it's just good. Good old shows. Yeah. And I'm like, do not watch YouTube. Do not read an entrepreneurial book. Do not put yourself into that. Like, you're not gonna slow down. You're just gonna go, oh my gosh, I've got to do all these business ideas. Like the other night, I did like honestly, I woke up at 1 a.m. like with so much anxiety. Like financially, I've like overextended myself. And you know, I think that feeling of being a business owner and the risk and the wages, like you're putting everyone above yourself. And I was just like, How am I gonna make this work? And I think you know, in that moment I just wanted to give up, but that was the burnout, and now you know, coming here today, I was just like, I'm I don't know if I talk about this, I don't know if I do, but I think everyone's going through it, yeah. And it is so important, like that we don't just ignore that, yeah, and actually, okay, well, don't normalise it either, but it's like it is something that we go through, and it's like that reminder to look after yourself and it just it's not sustainable. Like, if you got to make those hard decisions, like you have like make those hard decisions because in the moment it's hard, but what's gonna be harder is a lifetime of paying.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:26

Yeah, like literally last year I'd be on the couch, like posting as you said, and my husband would be like, get off your phone, it's seven o'clock at night. Like, and I'd be like, But I have to get clients in to fill up the girls' columns. And now that I've made all these changes, I'm like half the time my phone's in the bedroom, or I'm playing a little stupid game on my phone because I don't want to go on social media. There's I don't want to look on there. So, or we really just sit down and like watch our show together or something together now, rather than being like, No, I have to post on these Facebook community pages, or I have to put up this story, or all of these things just to fill up the girls' books to make their wages, not my own. So it's been, yeah, you need to make sometimes those hard decisions. And honestly, this decision has been probably one of the hardest but the best decisions I've ever made in my life. And I've now created a life where I can bring a child into it rather than not, and just kind of spread myself thin.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:27

That's really beautiful. Yeah. And I hope that if you're listening to this right now, that if there's something hard that you're going through or it feels lonely, that you can reach out to Tamika. You can reach out to myself. Like all of us will go through it at one stage, and I think the hardest part is feeling like you're going through it alone. But I promise you, you're definitely not.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:49

No, absolutely not. And so many of my clients have also been going through IVF. Like I will say to them, Oh, I've been doing my IVF, blah, blah, blah. And they're like, Oh, I'm also going through that. And then you don't feel as alone either. So even if you're not a business owner or you are a business owner, or you're just going through IVF alone, like absolutely reach out because it's so nice to talk to someone else because as much as you can talk to your friends, they're not, they're not going a lot of the time they're not going through it. And it's nice to sometimes bounce off someone else, or if you have a question, is this normal or how do I do this? And I find that in business too. You're like, Yeah, we've got business too. Yeah. And a lot of the time your friends aren't business owners. I'm lucky that my husband is also a business owner, so we bounce off each other a lot, but yeah, definitely in business or fertility journey, it can be so isolating.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:41

If someone wants to reach out or connect with you, where is the best place to do that?

SPEAKER_01 1:09:46

I would say um the Skin and Beauty Collective Instagram. So I completely monitor that. Um, so yeah, reaching out on our Instagram.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:54

Awesome. Thank you so much for being so vulnerable and sharing everything today. It's definitely a massive insight, especially like I've seen friends go through IVF, but I feel like you're almost treading on edge shells because you don't want to ask questions that are maybe too invasive or too personal. And I think you sharing what you've been going through will not only make some people who are going through that journey realize that they're not alone, but also others who don't quite understand it to have more of an insight. So thank you so much to me, Cole.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:29

I'm surprised I got through it without crying with all the hormones.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:33

So proud of you. Yeah. So, no, absolutely. I'm so happy to share, even if I can just help one person not feel alone going through the journey.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:41

100%. Yeah. Thank you so much for tuning in to today's episode. If you're going through this yourself or you know someone else who's going through it and would really value listening to it, please make sure that you send it to them so that they realise that they're not alone in this journey. And also, if you need to reach out to Tamika, her DMs are always open. I will catch you for next week's episode. Until then, have an amazing week. Bye.