Why You Cry in Readings (And Why It’s Actually a Good Sign)

Let’s be honest - crying in a reading can feel awkward as hell.

Whether you’re the sitter trying to hold it together… or the practitioner wondering why you’re tearing up over someone else’s loved one—there’s a reason this happens.

And it’s not what you’ve been told.

In this episode, I’m breaking down what’s actually happening when emotions hit in readings:
• Why your energy starts moving the second truth lands
• How society has trained you to suppress the exact thing that heals you
• What tears mean from an energetic + somatic perspective
• Why some people cry… and others don’t (and what happens instead)
• The one thing practitioners need to understand about holding space

This isn’t about “being emotional.”
This is about transformation, nervous system rewiring, and energetic release in real time.

If you’ve ever thought, “Why am I crying right now?” - this episode will hit different.

********

Nicole is an evidential medium and former corporate executive who blends data, systems, and spirit communication after her son began seeing the dead. She’s obsessed with exposing the hidden patterns and frequencies keeping you stuck, and recoding them so you can finally live the life your soul designed for you. She offers private readings, mentorship, and classes in mediumship, spiritual growth, and soul-aligned business. 

Click here to learn more & connect with Nicole: http://links.mediumnicole.com

Transcript

Truths About Tears In Readings

SPEAKER_00 1:11

All right, I got some truths to hand out today because if you are listening to this podcast, I would bet money on at some point or another, you have gotten very emotional in some sort of metaphysical reading, whether it is a psychic reading, a mediumship reading, Akashic Records, soul work, healing, any of that. And I want to talk about that today. I want to talk about the emotions that come with these sessions and really demystify the thought patterns and the energetics behind big emotions in these sessions. And this is coming off of a few sessions this week where I have seen very emotional people crying from a practitioner perspective, from a sitter perspective, from like my mentees perspective, and obviously myself as well, because I get teary-eyed in a lot of these readings as well. And over the past two days, I think I've seen three people, three of my students cry or mention big emotions in readings. And it was so interesting to have it all happen in close proximity to each other because it wasn't just asking the question about the emotions. It was also feeling embarrassment about the big emotions. It was trying to understand where these big emotions were coming from, especially as somebody who is reading other people, right? It was this feeling of make it go away. I don't want this. And this feeling of this isn't what I'm supposed to be doing in this work. I shouldn't be crying as a practitioner in this work. And likewise, as somebody who's a sitter, it can feel, again, really embarrassing to be really emotional in this work. And so the first thing I want to talk about is why do we feel so uncomfortable with emotions? Um, yes, I said that weird because that's how I feel it in my body. I feel like squirmy in my body when I talk about emotions. And if you know me in the 3D, you know I don't deal with emotions at all. I don't like emotions. I just kind of float out there in the ether emotionless. Uh, you can thank the German and Irish upbringing. I'm gonna ignore my my Italian and my French side uh because Lord knows they were very emotional. But in the reality of the world and society that is out there, is generally it's not safe to show our emotions to people that we don't know. Um, this is definitely true with me in the corporate world. This is definitely true with a lot of my friends. I get very uncomfortable when there's big emotions. I'm gonna be honest with all of you. I get very uncomfortable when I display big emotions. And as a society, I just don't think that we are equipped to talk and deal with emotions. And this goes back to, again, just the way that we are in society. I mean, we are such a masculine-driven society that we are really about doing and productivity and constantly on the go, and there's no room for emotions, just get the work done, right? And yet, what was so hilarious to me as a mom is seeing how big children are naturally born with these emotions. I mean, my kids still at, I'm so sorry to my kids if you're if they eventually listen to this podcast episode. They are 10 and 12 right now. They still fucking cry multiple times per week. They still have these big fucking emotions. And why wouldn't they? The world is a tough fucking place, right? The world is unfair. There's a lot of injustices going around. There's a lot of things that feel deeply unsettling in our body, and especially at school for them, as they're learning how to navigate school and social lives and sports, right? While also going through like puberty, there's a lot of conflicting emotions and energies that are coming through their fields. And they don't always make sense. And there's a lot of incoherence with the energies and emotions that are coming through. Some of them don't make sense. And yet, as we get older, we're kind of taught to squash it. We're kind of taught to don't talk about it, like go to the gym and beat it out of you, right? Go cry into a pillow, go punch a pillow. Like we even tell people to go and process emotions in private. And I don't really know a lot of people, thankfully, I do now, thank God. But I don't know a lot of people that openly talk about quote unquote the bad things, which always equate to emotions for some reason. And so, in a society where we are taught not to talk about our emotions, we're taught not to process our emotions, we're taught not to verbalize our emotions, a lot of clients that end up in my virtual room or in a physical room, you can see them really struggling in releasing emotions. You can see them kind of like hiding their tears or like like sitting there with tears rolling down their face and not even asking for a tissue. Right. And you see them a lot of like, turn it off. I don't want it, send it away. And I have to tell you, in the beginning of my journey as a practitioner, I mean, I don't cry. I don't, I don't cry. I never cried. Was I was one of the I was a kid who uh knew who I was. If somebody didn't like it, go kick rocks. And even as I started, started in my corporate career, I would have men tell me that I was more of a man than they were. Like that's how unemotional I am. And like this comes from me kind of keeping everything down below the surface, but on the surface, I am super calm. I'm like a duck. Above the surface, I look so beautiful and graceful. Yes, I called myself beautiful. I'm gonna take that compliment for myself. But underneath the surface, my legs are flailing. Like there is absolute chaos. And so, as a practitioner starting this work, I was pleasantly unsurprised. Sorry, unpleasantly surprised. That was opposite right there. I was unpleasantly surprised that as soon as I started connecting to dead people, I would sob. I mean, boxes of tissues. Like I can't even describe how much I would cry as a practitioner reading dead people. They weren't even my dead people. I was reading dead people for somebody else. And yet I would sit there and sob every single time. It was so fucking embarrassing. I'm gonna say it, it was so fucking embarrassing. And so if you're somebody who receives a reading and you have these big emotions coming through, God, just let them flow through. Just let them go. If you're a practitioner, just let them go. Because I found that the worst thing that I can do when I'm having these emotional energies is try to resist them or shut them down. Because does that make them go away? No, it does not. That is the whole dynamic and understanding behind like intuitive, like medical work. I can't use the right term because I'll get sued. It's like there's an actual term that's trademarked. So I can't use that term, but like um the medical version of intuitive work, you know what you're you know what I'm talking about, is the idea that these energies kind of get stuck in your body as densities if they're not released and if you're you know purged through them, right? There's a whole freaking system of all of these different modalities that teach you how to release stuck emotions in your body. Like we have a whole fucking industry around that, everybody. A whole somatics, whole fucking industry, probably other ones as well. And so I find it so curiously odd that number one, emotions are built so naturally in us from birth. Number two, we all fucking know everybody has emotions, right? We all know that. And number three, like, we all still feel the need to shut them down or hide them because it makes us socially uncomfortable. And so when you take these aspects and you roll it into the very deep soul-led emotional work that is metaphysical modalities, it can create a really interesting dynamic for somebody that is unprepared in this space. So I want to talk about sitters first for a moment, and then I'm gonna talk about practitioners because I don't, I don't know, I don't know if sitters necessarily come to me and know that I'm about to shatter their entire life apart. Like that's it's weird. It's the reality because in a one-hour session, you can you know confirm that the life continues after death. Like that's a huge fucking groundbreaking revelation for most people that they we can prove without a doubt that your loved ones are there on the other side watching over you with evidence and messages, right? So proving foundationally some like a core belief in your system that maybe you didn't believe before, right? Um, that can change in a session. You can uncover your soul fucking purpose in an hour session, right? And yes, I put fucking in the middle of that soul fucking purpose. We don't always like our soul purpose. Kinda, maybe, just kidding, maybe not. I don't know. Um, you can uncover the core root cause of something that is like a trauma or an issue, or you know, something that's in your body or in your life that you don't understand it. And you can uncover soul contracts related to that. You can uncover the root cause, the past life that started that energy, and also at the same time heal it in a 60-minute session. Like the work that we do in the metaphysical space is so deep and it's so transformative. And yet, I don't think a lot of people realize that walking into these sessions, they are going to be as impactful as they are. Like, I honest to God, I think there's some of my clients that walk in to my little virtual room and they're like, oh, this is just like meeting from Bob from accounting. It's gonna be great. It's gonna be all surface level. We're just gonna talk it through. And I'm just like, no, I'm literally about to shake your entire world. Like that's that is the reality of these, these, these things. And so whether you know that or not, whether you're prepared for a deep transformative, life-changing session or not, it's gonna happen anyway. And so, as you start to talk about root causes as core beliefs, as soul-level, you know, work and healing and fragmentation and all that thing, what will happen is that your energy will start to finally like start to loosen up. And I, this is what my team is showing in my head right now. So bear with me as I try to understand what they're showing me and trying to verbalize it, because what we're doing is shattering the foundations of who you thought you were, that that facade, that shell that you put yourself in. And as you start to uncover truths about yourself, uncover different perspectives about the things that you've gone through, different beliefs that you didn't think were possible, um, your version of reality, for lack of a better word, starts to crumble. Not in a bad way, because I think it's it's not like Humpty Dumpty. Like we're gonna build it back together again. Like it's gonna be better than before. You're gonna be more resilient than before, but you're releasing the facade of a life that is not aligned, of beliefs and values that are not true to you, right? And so when you start to shatter that external life that you used to have, you're gonna start to grieve that. You're gonna start to feel big fucking emotions with that. And like, I don't even know if it's necessarily, I think there's twofold to this because I think some people are ready for it and some people are asking for it. And and the crying and the emotional release is coming with an energetic release of, oh, finally, I've been waiting for this. This feels so good. And it's almost like healing from within through the through the tears, through the emotions, um, processing stagnant energy out your body, which is really what the tears are, that allows you to essentially say goodbye to that past version of you that we're breaking apart and welcome yourself into the newest version of you that is now coming. Right. And so the tears are a literal washing away because tears are salty. Who tells people to get in Epsom ball Epsom baths when they need an energy refresher, right? When you need to clear out, clear out low vibration energy, you get into a salt water bath, you go to the ocean. Tears are salt water, you're literally Epsom salting yourself, everybody. So there's that aspect of it if you're ready for it. But then on the other side of the house, if you are not ready for this, your nervous system is like, what the fuck? So you're literally breaking your nervous system there. And so that is a very different energetic release under the surface because it's going to look very similar, right? There might still be the tears, there might still be the um the feeling of energy moving and purging in your body, but there can be a difference of your nervous system trying to bring it back in and control the situation. Right? You're crying and grieving, change. Who nobody likes change. Nobody likes change. You might want it, but when change comes, you you're like running for the hills because that's just how it works. As somebody who's done change pretty much her whole life, especially in the corporate space, I can validate no one actually wants change when it's actually time to change. You might want change before, but when the change is actually there at your front door, you're like, oh no, thanks. I don't know if I'm ready for that. There's a little bit of hesitation. And so the tears might be your nervous system finally releasing, but also controlling, trying to control at the same time. But either way, regardless of how your body is handling it, whether it's accepting of it or whether it's feeling those embarrassing energetic feelings, the feelings of like uh resistance, right? But it's pushing through anyway, undeniably, a change is occurring in your energetic field. And the more that you surrender to that change, the better off you're going to be because you're going to be able to build it back better than you had it before. And it's interesting because with the breaking down of the energy, the reset of the energy, there is often a lot of fear that comes with it of, well, what's next? How do I build it back again? There seems to be a lack of sovereignty that comes with crying, right? Obviously, the vulnerability as well, but also this like push into the unknown sometimes for some people, especially if we're talking about soul paths or life plans, that feels like I'm not in control. And so that can also come in and bring this feeling of uh follow the feeling of energetic destruction in your in your body. But the reality is that you are a co-creator in your own life. You will either consciously or unconsciously choose the next step. And when I say consciously, you're gonna know exactly what you need to do because maybe the medium told you, maybe, maybe you know intuitively what the next step is. But you're either going to actively choose the next step, actively choose the new beliefs that you're gonna welcome in, actively choose to accept that your departed grandmother is around you all the time, actively choose that you believe in spirit guides and signs, actively choose that you don't have to carry the burden of these issues anymore, that you've healed from that. Or you're gonna passively choose to avoid it, because ignoring it is also a choice, right? Not welcoming the change is a passive choice. You're choosing not to. And so as you feel these emotions, which are representative of change, healing, transformation that is coming within you, the more that you surrender to it, and the more that you actively choose what you want to take away from these sections and how you're gonna integrate the new knowledge and perspectives that you've gained, the more empowering these sessions become. And so let, if you're a sitter, if you're someone receiving a reading, let the tears be evidence that something is ready to shift and move and change. Let the tears and the goosebumps be truth to you, that there's a different and better way. Let the tears allow you to process maybe grief that you've been holding on to, maybe frustration that you've been holding on to, maybe like self-hatred that it's time to let go. The old version of you, the lower vibrations of you that are no longer there, no longer serving this current vibration of you. Allow allow it to go down the drain along with your tears. Allow yourself to heal yourself through those tears and become that next version of you. Which again doesn't mean that it's a big step. It can be a tiny little step. But choose progress. In these big emotions, it is your indicator that there is an option to choose progress, to choose change, to choose a better life. And as we switch to the practitioner's perspective, number one, you have to learn to get really comfortable with clients crying in front of you. Um that can be its own journey because you can either hold the energetic space, which is what you should be doing as a practitioner, you shouldn't be going down to their level. You should be holding the vibration so that they can come back up to your level when they are ready to. And a lot of the times the crying and the grieving and the energy that is lower vibration needs to move out before they can meet you at the higher level of you. And so, however, it feels more most comfortable for you practitioners, you're just gonna have to practice and get used to this. You can, you know, look at the camera and not actively look at the person in the video screen. You can, um, if you're in person, look above their head, just like you would if you're in like a big presentation, you look slightly above the crowd, you know. But you need to do whatever you need to do, like you to feel comfortable holding the space for big emotions. And I think that you need to also have the perspective that I just gave for the sitters, for the persons, people receiving the reading, because what you're witnessing through the goosebumps, through the tears, through the shivers, through um these energetic releases that you're seeing in your clients are evidence that you are transmitting the energy and messages from spirit exactly the way that you're supposed to. You're you're a clear channel that's delivering the right messages in the right way at the right frequency. Otherwise, they wouldn't, you they wouldn't be having that big of a transformation, right? So use it as a sign that you're doing a great job, um, which can feel very interesting when your client is breaking down and crying in front of you. But give yourself a pat on the back. Remind yourself that you have to hold that energetic frequency and for the love of God, do not sink down to their vibrational level because that's not your job. Your job is not to make them feel better. Your job. I'm so sorry, sitters. I'm so sorry, those of you receiving the reading. It's not my job to make you feel good about the information. I want you to feel safe in the information that I'm giving you, but I also need to allow you the space to process this energy and come back to your own version of homeostasis, your own version of balance without needing my support energetically. Will I be there to help you walk through it? Absolutely, yes. But you have to do the work. I can't come in and save your energy. I can't, I can't tell you everything's gonna be fine, everything's gonna be better. Like, you gotta process that. And um for practitioners, I realize that many, not many, some clients are a lot energetically. And I love you clients. This isn't about you that's listening. Not at all. Not at all. Uh, but there are some clients that uh I'm gonna be honest with all of you. I'm gonna say it, and then you can hate me if you want that leech onto your energy. Um, what that looks like for me is when there is clients that are really relying on me and my energy. And I'm not gonna use the term energy vampire because I don't think that's appropriate. I don't, I don't think anyone's truly an energy vampire. I think there's people that um are disempowered and try to gather energy and vibrations from other people. I mean, I think it's the same term. I just don't like the term energy vampire because like I just don't think people are educated to know better. And again, I like to think and come from everybody is like everybody's good. I really do. Um, it's probably my fault because I truly believe that people are good people and given the choice, they're gonna do the right things. But you know, that might not, their right might be different than my right, and I'm gonna have to trust their right. Um, but there are people who will hook into my energy because it feels really good, because it's really high vibration, because again, I'm holding that energetic space. And so when I look down, this is what happens when when I notice it happening, like I feel suffocated in my energy. I feel like they are all up in my energetic space. And also when I look down in my third eye, I almost feel their talons kind of clawing into my chest. And when that happens, those of you that are practitioners that haven't experienced this yet, notice next time. Next time it feels very suffocating. Look down and see if their talons are in your energy field. Um, and then what you can do is very politely in your own mind, because you don't want to do this obviously on the video or in person, is that like in your mind, you're gonna peel the talons off of you and you're gonna send them back to that person. And then what I like to do is I put a gorge between us. It's like the grand canyon. I put the grand canyon between us so that any energy that they are trying to come at me with, like without my approval, right? Any energy they're trying to take from me, it like goes right into the gorge. So as they start to energetically come towards me, there's a gorge that separates us, it can't reach me. Um, so that's kind of how I deal with people who like to latch on to my energy in readings, which uh which can be really draining. So if you're a practitioner that is going through these sessions and you feel very, very drained after these sessions, just that might be your cue to take a look during the reading and be like, are they literally sucking my energy out? Because that'll do, that'll do that. Um where was I? So going back to the practitioner again. Um God, do you love these little rabbit holes that I go down? I'm like trying to my best to just channel these messages with spirit as the co-collaborator around my shoulder. I literally have my iPad in front of me with nothing on it because they were like, just hit record and go. And I'm just like, could we keep to a coherent fucking story? No, I'm not supposed to. I'm supposed to go down these rabbit holes. So you never know what you're gonna get in these podcast episodes of me. Oh God. It's just it's the wild west over here. So, as a practitioner, the other thing I want to address is how you get emotional during readings because that absolutely happens. That absolutely happens. And I already talked about how when I started this work, I would sob in these readings, right? Even last night I saw very, very well-versed fucking badass women who've been doing this work professionally for a number of years break down crying while giving readings. And so, what you can do in the moment, how you deal with it if you are in the moment crying. And I I always like to set the rule of thumb with spirit. Um, I'm gonna say it and I'm gonna kind of talk about different aspects of this. It's not gonna be a linear process this next next minute or two, but what you can do in the moment is ask spirit to turn down the energy level on the emotions to shut it, shut it down, shut it off. That so that allows you to kind of step back into the energy because what can happen when you are getting very emotionally overwhelmed is like it's gonna impact your reading. It absolutely will. And so you can absolutely take a moment to say, Spirit, turn it down. Or you can also ask Spirit to show it to you like it's a TV or a or a movie screen. Um, so you're kind of taking the emotions out of it. You're you're essentially asking them to turn off your clairsentience or turn down your clairsentience by doing these two things, um, which is where all those feelings and emotions and energy is coming from. So, isn't that really cool that you can kind of relate the fact that they've amped up your Claire Sentience, they're sending a lot of the energy through the Claire Sentience, and you're like, turn it down or put it on a picture screen, essentially give it to me clairvoyantly instead, so that, or you can ask for Claire audiencely, you can ask for the words instead of the feelings. So, those are some really quick, easy tactics you can use during your readings. Um, but also, number one, like I like to set the intention with my team. I don't want to be more emotional than my client. I don't. They're the person who has lost the departed loved one that is learning about their soul, right? And so I've set the intention with my team. I'm like, I can't cry more than they can. I can cry. Doesn't matter to me. I can absolutely cry. I can't cry more than they are. Like, you might see me wiping a tear or two, but that is something that I've like set with my team because I feel like it's disrespectful to my clients. So that is what I have worked with my team on. And also something for you to realize as the practitioner is that the energy is going to need to move some way. Okay. So you might get that client that is like a stone cold bitch. Sorry, I didn't mean that last word, but you know what I'm talking about. Stone cold that expresses zero emotions. Like you could be delivering a beautiful, heartwarming message about how your sitter was a caretaker for your mom and how or her mom and how like they would do sponge baths and she would do her brush her hair and paint her nails. And it's just like this mom coming through the veil to say how much I love you and I'm so thankful for you. And like, there's just, oh my gosh, I the best daughter on the face of the planet, and I love you so much, and I'm so grateful for you, and I watch over you, and like these huge, fucking profound loving messages from mom on the other side, and then you have your client that's just sitting there, like, no emotions, no crying, no processing, just being like, uh-huh. Yep, I understand that. Yep. Mm-hmm. So they're really fucking good. They're I I doubt that there's not emotions there. I really sincerely doubt it. But also, it can happen, right? It can happen. Uh, and they don't show emotions. We all have those clients, right? And what is so interesting is that the energy has to move. And so if the client doesn't cry, do you know what happens? I fucking sob. So this is one of the rare instances where Spear is just like, someone's got to move the energy. And if the sitter is not moving it, then they will send it through me as the medium to move that energy. Yep, it will happen. So, just in case you're wondering why you sob while your client sits there stone cold, that is why, because the energy somewhere needs to move, and you are now gonna be the conduit in which it moves, even though they're the ones that are gonna receive the healing from that. Isn't that fucking wild? It's fucking wild. Um God, I love this work. I love this work. So, besides that specific scenario, the other one thing I wanted to just touch on is if there is extreme emotion for you as the reader, as the medium, as the Akashic Records reader, whatever the situation is, as you're reading your client, and it's not like there is anything big going on. It's not, it's, you know, it doesn't seem to be one of those moments where it is going to be a lot of energy or healing or things that need to push through, and yet you are insanely emotional about it. That is probably a cue for you as the practitioner that there might be a little bit of healing for you or something that you need to process with your team. Um, I would be lying. Every practitioner would be lying if they said that they were perfectly healed and had nothing to process. And so a lot of times in these readings, spirit will send you the person that is going through a similar thing from you, or it's something that you just healed from, or something that you were going through at the same time. This is just the beauty and magic of spirit. And so they will show you areas where additional processing is needed, additional healing is needed for you. So if you are emotional in a reading big time and there's no logical reason for it, I would do some journaling on that. I would sit with my team, pull some cards, whatever, whatever feels right for you, to understand if there's something deeper for you as a practitioner that you need to process heal from so that you can, you know, further help your clients. And then obviously, I guess this is the last, last point. God. This is I'm sorry, this is for everybody. This is why I want to end it. Okay, got it. See, spirit is hey, have my back, they have my back. So, so we're gonna circle back to the beginning of the episode where I was talking about how I would sob unfucking conditionally, like a constant in every reading I did, every reading I received at the very beginning of my mediumship journey. And they want to highlight how number one, that is so normal because what you feel as the practitioner, and if you are a sensitive reader, if you are a reader who is more than likely than not going to become a medium someday, and or need to be attuned to this work, of course, they're gonna amp up your clairsentience so you feel this stuff. But what is actually happening energetically is you are sitting in the vibration of spirit that is unconditionally loving. And for many of us in this work, we come into this work wounded. I mean, who doesn't? Everybody's wounded in some fashion or form. But a lot of the people who are feel called to do this soul-led work are people who have been drugged through the mud, right? Dragged through the mud, who have experienced a lack of love in their life, a lack of trust, a lack of sovereignty. Because the journey of spirituality is actually a journey inward to find your connection to your soul and your life and your love again, to remember what you came here for. And so as you're starting to connect to the other side, as you watch the mediumship shows, as you attend these mediumship readings with people that you don't even know, and you fucking sob, or you're the reader and you cry when you connect to spirit, that is because you are connecting to a vibration of unconditional love, of God, expansive energies that are so much bigger than our earth-based realities. And for us, a lot of many of us have not experienced love at that level here in the physical world. A lot of the love here is conditional. And so when you're tapping into that unconditional love vibration, it's overwhelming in your energy field. And the only thing your energy knows how to do is cry it out to move that energy through you. And what is that is actually doing is raising your vibration. It's allowing you to sit in the energy and expand your energy so that you are more in tune and can connect to the higher vibrations of spirit. I want you to think about every time you connect and you have this sobbing experience, it expands your energy just a little bit more, just a little bit more every single time, so that when you can connect to that energy of spirit long term, you have the biggest, clearest channel that you can possibly have, which allows you to connect at the highest vibrations to bring integrity and loving messages and loving healing into your work. And so, again, stop trying to stop the emotions. Let the emotions and energies flow through you. I promise they are temporary. Don't apologize for them. And thank Spirit for the gift of expansion, of healing, of unconditional love, of transformation, of connection that comes with the emotions in every single one of these readings. That was lovely. Thank you for being here. I'm gonna sit in this energy a while. I hope you do too. And I hope you have a wonderful, emotion filled, transformative day. Take care.